Moments Exchanged
by Montreat11
Summary: Friends can be found in the most unlikely of places in the most unlikely of times, but forged through fire for the briefest moment the lessons learned and feelings exchanged will leave echos that last a lifetime. 5th in the Moments Series. Belle's perspective of everything that happens in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year. Currently posting for Month 12. R/R.
1. An Ending

1...5...10...12 minutes

They let the fog consume them, let it take them over and grow thicker and thicker with each passing moment. She felt like she was choking, like it was suffocating her…or was that just how she was doomed to feel for the rest of her life now? Neal's arm stayed tight around her waist as the world seemed to move around her, even if she couldn't see it. There was a girl, yelling. She could hear her. Ruby. She'd made it, she'd arrived and she was lost in the fog calling out for Granny, who quickly replied. But they got nowhere. Ruby's voice kept getting closer to her and farther from Granny's as she struggled to find her, the strange sensations throwing off even Ruby's well honed abilities.

She should say something. She should help. She should tell her where Granny was. She should yell out that she was there, that she was going in the wrong direction.

But she didn't want to. She didn't want to do anything anymore. And suddenly...she didn't have to.

It was hard to say what happened. One second they were there, standing on a street in Storybrooke, then there was a crash of thunder that filled her ears before a sheer deafening kind of silence, and the next second the crash had returned and she felt different. The ground felt uneven beneath her feet, the clothes she was wearing felt heavier, and her hair was no longer hanging there against her face.

She wasn't the only one to feel it. The arm that she'd felt around her waist, the one that belonged to Neal disappeared after a startled jerk and the fog cleared enough for her to see him glance down at his hands, confused! And for good reason. His jacket was gone, replaced with leather gloves, a green shirt covered by a leather vest, and a green cloak. He looked shocked, but no more than she was! How strange. It took shock to startle her out of her shock!

But then it was there again...she knew this dress, she knew this cloak, and the necklace around her neck that once belonged to her mother…she knew this land.

The smoke was finally beginning to clear and she could see clearly that they were standing in the middle of a forest that smelled of pine and magic. The Enchanted Forest. The curse had been broken in every way now, reversed, undone, and…they weren't alone.

"Are you alright?" she glanced over at the person who had spoken. A man, who was talking to a woman. She felt as though she'd seen the man before but just couldn't place him. She felt like she knew him from a dream…but then everything felt like a dream right now. And as shock and sadness crept back over her skin she realized that maybe it wasn't him she knew, just the look he had on his face as he looked the strange woman over. Concern. Adoration. Love.

She was beginning to feel like she couldn't breathe again as she watched the pair.

"I…I think so," the woman breathed back to the man, looking him over as well. Care. Worry. Love. Her heart felt as though it was being squeezed again, her body trembled as she fought to keep it in, to hide it. "What was that?!" the woman asked.

"I don't know," he answered, but as they reached for each other they turned and were suddenly aware that they were not alone either…not anymore. They seemed shocked, staring at the small group that was missing so many essential people, before the woman suddenly seemed to have a flash of recognition. "Snow!" she called out, surprised. "What happened?"

So much. So, so much had happened. She didn't even know where to begin to tell it all. But Snow seemed to. At least she was the one that took the lead, taking a few timid steps forward before whispering in a sad voice "we're back."

Back.

They were back. But back where? Home? No, no she'd never be home again. She could go anywhere, be anywhere, here, the castle, her father's kingdom, Storybrooke the truth was none of those had ever been home, not for her. He was home. He was safety and shelter and everything good and now…

She couldn't handle it, she couldn't contain it and suddenly she couldn't bring herself to care to or even want to try. She could barely handle standing on her own, wearing the same damn dress she'd been wearing the blessed day he'd walked into her life. She was barely aware of the Charmings stepping forward, of their small group breaking off and talking with the strangers about what had happened, talking with each other as she turned on her heel and walked away. Their arguments, their screams, their happiness and sadness at being home, none of it mattered to her! She was broken, undone, just like the curse. And it was simply too much for her to take in just after he'd…

"Belle!" she heard Ruby call out her name but she did her best to walk faster, into the trees away from the girl. _He'd die before he ever let anything happen to me._ She'd told Ruby that once upon a time. Oh how she wished she had been wrong! Oh how she wanted Ruby's belief that it wasn't true to be the real truth. "Belle, where are you going?!" she called again, but at the sound of footsteps she kicked off her shoes and ran determined not to stop for anyone. She couldn't talk to her right now...she just...

She couldn't.

But there was another voice fading into the distance behind her. Not Ruby. Not Granny. Bae. Baelfire. "I've got it," she barely heard him tell Ruby as she ran.

"I don't understand, what…"

"I said, I've got it under control, I'll handle it!"

But he couldn't. He couldn't handle it! He couldn't bring his father back from the dead, he couldn't get him back for her, there was nothing anyone could do. Nothing was right about anything that had happened and the fact that they were back in the Enchanted Forest was the least of her worries. If only her body knew that and would just let her run until her feet bled or she fell off the edge of the world, if only she felt nothing on the outside just as much as she did on the inside, then the small sharp stone she'd stepped on wouldn't have brought her to a stand-still just at the edge of the tree line. That small stone wouldn't have been enough to bring new tears to her eyes, or make her feel like the world was too small, or she was too big for it, or that no matter how she thought about it she just didn't fit the way that she had before when he'd-

"Hey," Baelfire had caught up to her, but she turned away. She didn't want anyone to see her cry. At the moment she just didn't want to be seen by anyone, least of all his son, who had his looks and mannerisms. Comforting before, now they were just a terribly painful reminder. She just couldn't handle that right now.

Bae had other plans. Instead of letting her go, he reappeared again on the other side of her. "Are you okay?" Bae asked reaching out to touch her shoulder. She avoided him, fell against the trunk of a tree, cornered there by water, bark, and his son. Was she okay?! Her answer should have been generic, a simple "I'm fine," brushed away without a thought, hours ago it might have been! But she couldn't say that now. She'd just seen the only man she'd ever loved die in front of her eyes. She was far from fine. Fortunately, Bae seemed to have caught his mistake moments after saying it and looked her over carefully. "Are you hurt?" he corrected.

She still couldn't manage the words, because in her mind it didn't matter, but she did manage to shake her head to satisfy Baelfire's kind intentions, hoping it would make him go away. No, she wasn't hurt physically, but in every other way she was broken, altered. She'd never be the same again.

"You dropped these," he muttered holding something out for her. Her shoes. He probably would have caught her before if he hadn't stopped to collect them for her. Her hand automatically reached out for them but didn't put them on, just let them hang there from her hand like a dead weight. Dead. She felt dead. She didn't even know where to go from this place. What to do first or next or now. Nothing made sense any more! All she truly wanted was to lay down and go to sleep. She felt like she'd lived a hundred years without it.

"You, uh...back at the diner, you said you didn't have any family," Bae went on gently in her silence, "was that true?"

He thought that she'd lied to him when she'd said that? Didn't believe her? Rumple would have understood, would have known the full weight of her words then. Of course she had a family, her father and Gaston she assumed were out there somewhere, but she'd never go back to them. She couldn't. He wouldn't have wanted her to, and after all that she'd accomplished, all that he'd helped her to become, going back to her former life would have been disrespectful, an insult to his memory. He promised her he'd keep her safe, that she'd never have to return to that life...and now being here, in this dress, in this world... No, she had no family. Not anymore. She couldn't. How many people would die to ensure she lived in her lifetime. Her mother, Anna, Rumple...

"Look..." Bae shifted his weight almost nervously, and sidled up closer to her after taking another look around. "I just watched my own family disappear off into the sunset with their own version of a happily ever after...and it didn't include me. Emma and Henry are gone, Papa's gone, so right now, like it or not, you're pretty much it for me too."

She glanced up, startled at his words. Was this the same person? The same one who had just told her that he didn't need her to mother him? Was she the same person who had told him that if he ever needed to talk, needed a friend, she was around? She wasn't sure, not anymore. She had been that girl, once. But that girl had also been happy and complete. The exact opposite of what she felt now! She didn't feel like she was capable of being "it" for anyone at the moment.

Then again, the man that she'd talked to had been resistant and suspicious of her. He seemed put together, at least more so than she was, but maybe he was different now too. She'd never know if she didn't at least try to say something to him. He was offering a hand, and right now, drowning in sorrow and loneliness as she was, a hand would be something. Maybe she didn't need to be the "it" at the moment. Maybe she just needed to let someone else to fill that role for her right now. Could Baelfire do that?

"What do we do?" she asked, her voice small and feeble, raw. How was she supposed to ever be normal again. She had no idea what came next, did he?

"We stick with the group," he insisted uneasily. "Figure out what the hell happened to us exactly, and what's going on, then see if there is anything we can do to get back."

Back? Back?! Back to Storybrooke? Back to…

Henry.

And Emma.

He was his father's son, and she could see that he was already beginning to put together a plan in his head, based on nothing but a sliver of hope. He wanted to get back to find Emma and Henry, and she couldn't say she blamed him. She'd do anything to get Rumple back. But hope and reality were two very different things.

She honestly wasn't sure that there was hope, that it existed as she once thought it did. Rumple had lived hundreds of years, planned and been patient for an eternity, without him, she just wasn't convinced that there was anything left to believe in. But she had nothing else left of him, of their life together, nothing but Baelfire. To not look after him, to not help him, if only to make sure he didn't lose himself in his obsession as his father nearly had too many times to count was a much better idea than sulking. And if anything did happen to Baelfire because she hadn't been there, because she had carelessly tossed him away... He wouldn't want her to go back to her old life. But he'd want her and Baelfire to be safe. He'd want them to be "it" for each other. They had been just as much the cause of his sacrifice as Henry.

"Look, you don't have to stay with me if you don't want to..." Bae continued in her silence, "just don't run off right now, with everything like it is. Just-"

"Where do we start?" she interrupted in a less than insistent voice. Living was going to be hard. She'd go with him, for herself, for Rumple, and for Baelfire. But she wasn't quite sure she could bring herself to ever believe in hope again, or be happy or excited about anything. One step forward was all she could manage at the moment.

Neal never broke into a smile, but she could see a relieved look in his eyes at her words. He'd gotten her to go along with him, as far as he knew this conversation had been a success. If only he really knew...

"We start by getting you something better to go hiking through the forest in," he commented looking her up and down. She nodded. She wanted out of this dress! This was the last thing that she wanted to be wearing right now, the last thing that she wanted to see ever again because it represented everything she'd been before he came back into her life. But Neal's reasons for wanting her to change were probably more sensible at the moment. If they were going to wander around the woods with a group of people figuring out what to do next, then a gown like this was not appropriate attire. She didn't need Lacey to know that. But how was she supposed to-

Courage.

She needed courage to move on from here, to even just pretend like she was living again.

So, she glanced at Bae, at Neal, seeing his father's eyes in his concerned gaze, and wrapped her trembling hand around his arm.

He steadied her, let her lean on him while she put her shoes back on. Then she let him lead her back to the larger group on uneasy ground.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi! For those of you that are just checking out this fiction, welcome! For those of you who are a fan of the Moments Series, welcome back! I hope you'll enjoy this fiction. It's the fifth in the Moments Series, a series that is an atempt at an accurate portrayal of Belle's perspective during the Once Upon a Time series. This fiction features everything that happened in The Enchanted Forest during the missing year. It begins with them arriving predictably will end with the curse hitting again and everyone returning to Storybrooke.<strong>

**Because I am working to keep this series as accurate as possible, there might be changes made to this fiction as needed after it is finished. But I won't bore you with those details, if you really want them check out the authors note at the end, it'll explain everything. Or check out Montreat11 on twitter to keep up with chapter updates year round.**

**Also, if you enjoy this fiction, please review! I always enjoy those wonderful gems waiting for me in my inbox and I love writing back to thank you personally for reading and reviewing! It helps me know that I'm doing a decent job! Peace and Happy Reading!**


	2. Head Under Water

35 minutes

She felt like she was floating. Drifting. Gliding. She felt like she was empty. Hallow. Unfeeling. Like something wasn't connecting her mind to her body. Was that what a soul was for and she'd just never known it? Was this what she'd felt like before she'd known him, before he'd come into her life? Had she always been empty and just never known any better before that deal?

She didn't know. And she couldn't find the will to care. To wake herself up. She couldn't find a reason to be strong…except for Neal. Except for the one part of him that was holding her up. He hadn't promised her happiness before he'd died, merely reminded her that she could make those around her strong. It was Neal who held the promise of happiness…she wanted that for him, if only because he wanted it for his son.

But it was hard to breathe now. Hard to focus and feel strong when she felt like she was a burden Bae hadn't asked for, wanted, or even anticipated! And yet, here he was. It was honorable. If it wasn't for Neal she wouldn't be here now. She would have disappeared into that forest and never come back. What would have happened to her body was irrelevant as far as she was concerned. Her soul was already gone. But here she was. Holding tight to Baelfire's elbow as he led her back to the crowd. Yes, she felt like she was floating, but Neal was her tether, her life raft, her support. If it wasn't for him she wouldn't be here. If it wasn't for his arm she would have fallen. If it wasn't for his eagerness she'd have nothing to goad her on. She felt like she was barely living, so if Neal was the only thing keeping her from dying completely then she'd hold on with everything she had...even if it wasn't much.

She couldn't look anyone they passed in the eye, didn't have the strength to hold her head high enough to do it. Just put one foot in front of the another, taking agonizing step after step, and glanced around her through her eyelashes and heavy lids that just wanted to curl up somewhere, go to sleep, and never wake up, to give into the hallow empty feeling within her. Each breath she took seemed like it was unfair. Each heartbeat a betrayal. But whether it was unfair to him or to her…she just couldn't say yet.

So, she stopped thinking. About herself. About him. About…the end. Just focused on this moment. If she was going to stay with Neal then she was going to need to be more than a walking shell of who she'd once been. She focused on the present. On her footsteps. On her tether. She focused, excruciatingly, on those around her.

The surprise seemed to have passed from the little she saw. People were regrouping, buzzing around, talking to one another, figuring out what to do next now that they were here. They were living.

It hurt to watch them.

"Aurora!" Neal shouted next to her, making her head automatically pop up and follow his gaze toward the same gazebo that she'd seen when the smoke cleared. The Evil Queen and Hook were nearby, wandering nearly as aimlessly as she was, but Snow White and Prince Charming were talking to the two people she'd seen before. The woman glanced over at her and Neal right away. Aurora. That must have been her name. It sounded familiar. Like she'd heard it somewhere before. And the man…no, she still couldn't place him. But she didn't appear to be the only one. From the way he was looking at her, she felt like they'd met somewhere she just couldn't figure it out. But she wasn't terribly surprised by that. There wasn't a lot that she felt like she could put together right now.

"Neal!" The woman, Aurora, she assumed, called back, turning toward him with a beaming smile and offering him a hug that he could only partially return because his other arm was the only thing keeping her on her feet at the moment. "Thank heavens you're alright, we were so worried after you didn't return with Mulan-"

"You two know each other?" she heard David ask. But she couldn't see because she was suddenly feeling overwhelmed again. Like the water was pouring in threatening to drown her and there was nothing she could do to keep it out.

This was too much.

All of it.

Too much too soon!

Everything that had happened with Pan, in Neverland. In Storybrooke. Then with him. And now they were in the Enchanted Forest!

There were too many people here, too many conversations, too much happening. Too much life!

Whether he sensed it or not she felt herself take a step closer to Neal in an attempt to balance herself, seek some form of shelter. He was a rock, comfort, familiarity even if that familiarity was only faint. Barely two days. That was all she'd known him for. But she felt like if she didn't have that right now, if she didn't have Neal by her side, she might just come apart at the seams.

"Yeah," Neal answered as Aurora pulled away from them, "it's a long story, I'll fill you in later. Listen-"

"I know you," the man who had been beside Aurora interrupted suddenly. When no one said anything she finally picked her head up to face the crowd. He was looking at her, pointing, waiting for her to respond. He did recognize her then. It wasn't her imagination at all. How? She swallowed, tried to breathe, and took a moment to look him over as she forced her brain to work against the thick fog she was fighting against. From somewhere deep within her a memory struggled to surface. His face. The event. The beast.

Prince Philip, the Yaoguai.

"Belle!" he breathed suddenly. He seemed to recognize her the same moment that she had and reached forward to hug her. She should feel something, should be able to hug him back, should be happy that he was here with a woman that she could only assume was the true love he'd been separated from. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it. "I hardly recognized you! You look so different from the last time we met!"

His smile twisted the knife in her heart.

His touch burned.

His happiness threatened to pull her down and drown her completely.

Fortunately, Philip didn't seem to notice her reaction in his excitement. Just pulled away and looked at her with reverence as he kept a hand against her shoulder. Raw as she felt, she wished he wouldn't touch her. "Aurora this is the woman that freed me from Maleficent's curse! Without her…we wouldn't be together today."

Aurora smiled happily as she looked at her, recognizing her from a story he must have shared with her. Alone? Under moonlight? Private words when the world wasn't looking…

She took a deep breath, trying to hold back her tears as the woman launched herself at her. Yet another hug that she could barely tolerate, a gesture she couldn't return. How had she managed only moments ago with Henry and Emma? It must have been sheer luck...

She squeezed Neal's arm. She wanted to go. To be away from here, away from…everything. Somewhere she wouldn't feel like she was being bled dry, her wounds reopened before they could even begin to heal. She'd felt like this wasn't that hard when it had been the two of them, but around all these people?! It was just too much life, and happiness, and joy, and hope…

And she felt like she was screaming, like she wanted to scream more than anything…but she just couldn't find her voice to do it. She needed someone to see it. Someone to read her mind, to understand what was happening inside her. But the only person who'd ever been able to do that was-

"We owe you debt," Aurora smiled with tears in her eyes as she pulled away, keeping her hands against her shoulders.

Still, no words came.

"Maybe you can pay it," she heard Bae answer for her. She could have cried in relief. "We're a long way from…anywhere," he pointed out, looking awkwardly around him and shuffling his weight as if expecting to see a city rise up from the trees at any moment. "I assume wherever we go we're walking from here and she can't exactly go hiking through the forest like this. Maybe you have something else?"

"Oh…yes! Yes, of course!" Aurora answers her eyes wide with excitement. "Anything! I have a few dresses around here from the days we spent alone in the woods and we look about the same size…" she moved into the gazebo and began to rifle through a trunk she hadn't seen before. It looked like they'd been on a picnic, there was uneaten food laid out, but it also looked like they spent far too much time living here in the woods. Why else would Aurora have spare dresses on a gazebo? Was this a getaway? Like they'd used the cabin for? She didn't ask. That thought alone threatened to bring tears to her eyes and she felt like she was barely hanging on as it was.

Next to her, she heard Philip tell Charming that he could find something for him as well, "something less bloody", and that they were welcome to whatever they had here. They'd help them get on their way as fast as possible.

Charming thanked Philip for his offer, but stated that what they really needed at the moment was information. When Aurora returned with a large bundle for her, which she managed to hold against her chest with only an arm, Philip suggested that they talk privately about that and led them into the gazebo, Hook and Regina trailed behind them as she could only assume they all began to talk. She glanced up at Neal, did he want to go? To listen?

"Go ahead and change, I'll be here when you get back" he insisted with a little nudge, like a mother bird might give to urge her young out of the nest. She hated to give up the grip she had on him. But she knew, she just couldn't hang there on his arm for the rest of her life. Sooner or later she'd have to let go, to tread water, and start swimming on her own again. At least the task he'd given her was simple. At least it required little thinking. At least it required solitude.

Finally she gave a small nod, released him, and found she could stand without swaying. He seemed to be waiting to make sure she could steady herself and gave the smallest look of relief at the little accomplishment. It was something. Something was better than nothing. So she took a deep breath, hoping to find strength somewhere inside her when all she felt was exhaustion and disappeared into the woods to find a private spot to change.

She found a large growth of trees that created a curtain between her and the gathering crowd she'd once wanted so much to be a part of and took her time, not because of all the buttons and layers that she had forgotten about faster than she would have thought possible, but because she liked the quiet. The small space. The private area. Because when tears finally couldn't be held back anymore no one could give comfort she couldn't take, or offer hallow encouraging words, or meaningless advice.

People hurt.

Life hurt.

The world hurt.

Neal…

Baelfire. Bae. He didn't hurt.

She would have thought he would. That seeing his expressions and his eyes in the face of his son would tear her heart out each and every time. They'd never been close before now, but she felt like they were suddenly. It had been hours, maybe, since they'd walked out of that store arm in arm. It had barely been a day since they'd sat down together in Granny's and danced around one another, a small uncomfortable connection neither knew what to do with. But now…

She couldn't explain it. Maybe it was for all the reasons being near him should hurt…but Neal felt like safety. She felt as though her insides were melting. The world crushing down on her and the people around her only crowded her more, but a glance at Neal, a few kind words?!

The world might not have righted itself around him, but at least she didn't feel like she couldn't breathe.

She had to live. She had no choice in the matter. If she could have she would have simply commanded her heart to cease beating there in the town square! But it didn't work that way. He'd killed their soul and left her body to…whatever this was supposed to be. But she had to figure out how to live again without him. To walk. To sleep. To talk. Or at least pretend she could. Without him, without the hope of ever seeing him again, she didn't think she'd ever be able to swim. So she'd have to settle for simply holding her own head above water. For Neal's sake.


	3. Finding Motivation

1 hour

She let herself cry until she didn't have any tears left, until she was changed, and didn't want to be alone anymore…but still didn't want to be around people, which was a problem because she felt like there were people everywhere. It seemed like more and more of them were arriving in the clearing by the second! Swarming. Closing in. Overtaking. Crowding-

Neal. If Neal was keeping her grounded in reality right now, if he was what was keeping her from disolving, then Neal was who she'd find, who she's stay with. She had to live, she had to pretend like she felt, but she didn't have to jump into life running. She was broken, the wounds still raw, and until she found motivation to really and truly feel something again…there was nothing wrong with wallowing. She just had to be sure it didn't swallow her whole. That was what she needed Neal for.

When she reappeared from the forest, comfortably changed, the yellow dress in her arms she put blinders on. She didn't look at the faces around her, didn't respond to their calls, merely set her eyes on Neal, waiting for her as she promised at the gazebo. He was talking with Aurora and Mary Margaret. No. Not Mary Margaret. Snow White. And there, The Evil Queen. She swallowed as she felt her heart pound. Aurora and Snow White. She could handle them. The Evil Queen…she could handle her. But not because she felt brave, just because there was nothing more she could do to her as she was. There was nothing anyone could do to her as she was. And as long as she could stand with Neal, focus on something besides loss, as long as no one hugged her again, she could survive.

She could survive.

She could walk.

Now, if only she could manage words.

"Thank you," she muttered quietly taking her place at Bae's side, "for the dress." Her voice didn't sound like she remembered. It didn't feel like she remembered, either. But then again nothing was as she remembered it…nothing was as it had been.

Aurora didn't seem to notice. "After what you did for Philip?! I owe you far more than a dress!"

"You owe me nothing," she heard herself whisper as she held her former gown, everything that she'd been before she met Rumpelstiltskin, out for her. "A fair trade, please take it."

Aurora looked between her and the yellow gown and cloak she'd rolled into a ball and took a step back, her hands out, refusing the bundle. "No, I couldn't possibly-"

"Please!" she snapped giving the dress a desperately sharp shove into the air. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, took a deep breath and tried to twist the corners of her mouth into something that might have been considered a smile in another life. "Please take it," she repeated gently, her voice was back to being a whisper and when she opened her eyes she saw the woman staring at her, timid, surprised, almost weary of her. Like she was infected with some horrible disease and if they got too close they might catch what she had. But it wasn't possible. No one would catch what she had. Not unless-

Aurora reached forward and took the bundle from her with a smile, a false far more timid smile, but a smile all the same. "Thank you."

"Hey," before she could back away from their stares, before she could feel uncomfortable, Neal was there again, placing steadying hand on her back. "Everyone's getting ready to move, you okay to walk a bit?" he asked.

She should hate that question. If she'd been asked that hours ago she would have been furious, marched away and proved without words that she was perfectly alright to walk, she wasn't a child, and it was her heart that was broken not her body. But she just couldn't find a reason for the emotion, couldn't find a purpose for anger or uselessness. She didn't see purpose in purpose anymore. But she could pretend. So she nodded at him and tried to remember to act like she was alive, like she was curious.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm not sure yet," he answered. "But I'm going to find out...stay here I'll be back..." And before she could ask what he was going to find out, or what was going on he'd left, leaving her alone with the women. She watched him go, wander out into the field, casting glances at the group of dwarves and Granny gathered around saddled horses, she thought hadn't been there when they arrived, and David making his way toward Hook. He eyed the forest around him as if searching for something, trying to get his bearings. She was about to leave, to follow after him, to ask what exactly he was trying to find out when she felt a burning hand on her arm and turned to face a long-haired Mary Margaret.

"We're going to my father's castle-Regina's…" Mary Margaret-Snow corrected with a small shake of the head. "Neal knows that, I don't know what he needs to find out!"

Regina's castle? The Evil Queens castle! No, no, no, that was the last place she needed to be. The little feeling, the little color, she'd felt she'd built up in the last few minutes drained from her as she pictured her cell, chains on her wrists, and her last memory of the roof caving in on her. "It's not far," Snow insisted, misjudging the look on her face. "Less than a day's travel from here, and it should be intact. Regina protected it from the curse…excuse me!" Snow finished suddenly distracted, looking over her shoulder and marching away quickly. She glanced after her as she left. David…and Hook mounted on a horse. Clearly something more was going on. Where had Neal gone?! She needed Neal, she felt as though she was about to crumble into a frenzied ball of panic-

There was another hand on her arm. One that made her flinch and turn to pull away. Aurora. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, but you seem...you seem upset," she stated. "Lost. Not that I can blame you! After everything you've all been through, everything that's happened-"

"No, that…" her voice came tumbling out of her mouth again, scratchy and unrecognizable. "That's not it," she admitted, unable to feel happiness that she was at least talking once more. They'd all been through a lot. Some more than others. But what she'd gone through, what she and Neal had survived, no one but the two of them had lived through that.

"What then?" she prodded gently. "If there's anything I can do to help, anything at all-"

"I…" the words hurt. They felt like an iron fist squeezing her heart. They tasted like poison. But she had to get Aurora to stop talking and trying to make better what couldn't be fixed! She had to get used to a lifetime of saying them. Because no matter what happened to him, he still belonged to her, he was still part of her life, a part she would never and could never deny. She couldn't make up a new identity and pretend like she was someone else. That was what really burned.

"I lost someone," she finally choked out. "We lost someone," she muttered, glancing over the shoulder to Neal as Hook rode away. Neal didn't show it like she did, but he had his father's eyes. She knew that look of grief he'd had at the town line, the look he was still wearing when he'd talked to her in the forest anywhere. "We lost someone very important to us. People we love."

Aurora looked her up and down with what looked like sympathy. "I lost Philip once," she stated. She managed a nod. She remembered, she didn't need to hear the story of the Yaoguai…but listening to that tale was so much simpler than telling her own. "I lost him to a monstrous creature that stole his soul away." No. That didn't sound right. The Yaoguai had been bad she was sure, but that wasn't what had happened! Had their story not been as simple as she'd hoped after she'd turned Philip back into a man? "I never thought I'd see him again, let alone be whole without him…but I got him back! Now we're going to have a baby and... Maybe it was an accident, or a miracle, but if we've learned anything in all our wanderings it's to never give up on each other."

Regina rolled her eyes and turned away at her words, muttering something about optimistic idiots, but Aurora ignored her comment and reached out for her hand. "It might seem bleak for you now, but don't give up. Not until you've thought of every possibility, every detail! You never know what might come back to you. Philip did, twice but you already know…" finally Aurora launched into the story she'd expected from the beginning. The Yaoguai.

But she wasn't listening anymore. She couldn't. Every possibility? Every detail?! No, she didn't want to give up on him, didn't want to give up on them. But what she'd seen, what she felt now inside of her, it was final, undeniable, without question! She didn't want to give up…but certainly there was a time when giving up was the only possibility. Death was-

"Hey!" she heard Neal's voice behind her and turned, expecting him to be calling out for her. But she was wrong. He was only going to talk to David and Snow White. "What Hook said, just now, about all our stuff being brought back here, that true?" she heard him ask. She strained her ears and tuned Aurora out. He didn't know where they were going despite Snow saying he did and now he was asking about their "stuff" objects. What was Neal thinking? What was he planning?

"What are you looking for?" she heard David murmur quietly.

"I was thinking maybe we could stop by my father's place on the way to the Queen's castle." His castle. Rumple's castle! It was nowhere near here. She might not know exactly where it was but she knew in her wanderings after she'd left that it was days away, nowhere near "on the way". What was he looking for exactly?

"Neal, I...I know you're hurting, but Rumpelstiltskin is gone-"

"Maybe. Maybe not..." he stated. She nearly gasped at the words, her heart stopped and the air left her lungs. "And if he's not maybe he can get me back to Emma."

"Neal!" Snow White argued. She tried, did her best to hear her response but they'd lowered their voices and the blood rushing through her head didn't allow her to hear properly.

Hope.

Neal had hope?! Neal wanted to find Rumple?! Refused to believe he was gone?!

Why couldn't she? How was it possible the son who hadn't seen him in centuries was ready to cross Kingdoms to see him, to get him back, not for himself but for his family, when she was ready to admit defeat?! Neal was like her. She knew that. Rumple had told her once in the middle of the night! He was brave like her. A man. He always wanted to do the right thing. Saw the value in the world around him. He was logical. Just like she was. So what was the difference? What did he see the value in that she didn't?

Details. Possibilities.

That was what Aurora told her to search for. It was hard with the feelings, or lack thereof, in her body. But emotions weren't logic, he'd be the first one to remind her of that! What had she missed? What did Neal think was at the castle that could summon him back to their sides and help get them back to Storybrooke?!

Summon.

Magic.

Like his. Like Pan's. Like what had taken him. His curse.

His dagger.

There had been nothing left of the pair of them, of the dagger. But magic like his…like the kind attached to that knife…it was too powerful to just disappear out of existence like that! So what could have happened to it?

Their things had returned with them. Could it have simply traveled somewhere, magically afterward? Could it be here, in this world, somewhere?! Could it really be waiting around somewhere for her and all she had to do was summon him? Could magic return him as it had taken him? Could it be that easy?!

Something flickered in her chest. Her heart beat. Her lungs expanded. The corner of her mouth twitched with something…something unswerving, undeniable, unmoving. It wasn't solid. It wasn't foolproof. It wasn't strong. But it was all the motivation she needed to follow after the group the second David called out that they were leaving.

Hope.


	4. The Right Kind of Hope

3 hours, 45 minutes

Hope.

It was buried, by grief and sadness, but it was there. Small. But there. Burning. Alive. And now that she had it, now that she could feel something besides a bottomless pit of unending sorrow she had to hold onto it. Cling to it. It was a lifeline…just like Neal.

She was walking, but she'd barely noticed. David. He'd said they were leaving and the group of them had followed after him, a group that seemed to be growing by the second! Every step they'd taken, people had emerged from the trees, more and more were returning to the Enchanted Forest from Storybrooke and each time someone had happily waved and told them to come along. And Neal…

Neal!

Neal was supposed to come back to the gazebo for her, she was supposed to wait for him, but she hadn't! She'd walked off with the rest of the group and hadn't seen Neal since. Did he figure she didn't want his help because she'd done that?! He'd told her when they ran away that she didn't have to stay with him, but that he wanted her to still be with the group. Did he just assume that was what she'd decided? She looked around her but there was little to see. She'd fallen behind, too consumed with her new found energy to notice that they were all walking ahead of her. So she picked up her head, and her skirts, and moved quickly back up to the group.

The faces were unfamiliar, but she couldn't let it distract her. The flame within her was weak but she wouldn't let it die! She needed to find Neal! They'd keep it alive together, burning bright! She wound through the people, all the strange faces, and voices she didn't recognize until she found…there, just up ahead!

Baelfire!

But he didn't look as she remembered him only hours ago. He'd looked strong then, his back had been straight, she hadn't been able to recognize the look in her state but she did now. He'd had the hope that she'd lacked. But somehow, when her back was turned, everything had reversed. No, she couldn't see his face, but she knew the way his shoulders slumped forward in a defeated posture wasn't hopeful. She knew the weight that he seemed to carry in his neck and hung head wasn't hopeful. And she knew that the unsteady shuffling, the aimless wandering he was doing as he followed the flow of people just as she had, certainly wasn't hopeful.

What had happened to him? How had he changed so quickly? The last time she'd seen him he'd seemed hopeful and determined, just before he talked to-

David. He'd asked David how to get to the Dark Castle…and yet here he was with the rest of them heading to the Queen's palace instead of the castle. Perhaps David and Mary Margaret-Snow hadn't been as helpful as he'd hoped, as supportive of his going back to get Emma and Henry. Yes, that had to be it. The hope that had held him up, as he'd held her, was Emma and Henry. They'd crushed it and now he looked nearly as aimless as she had been.

She didn't know where the castle was, not from here. She couldn't get him there. But she could offer him the same thing his words had given her. Small and fragile as it was, hope could be contagious and powerful. His had been for her.

"You will see them again," she commented, stopping up beside him and placing a supportive hand on his shoulder, "Emma and Henry." She spoke normally again, without pain. She felt steady, stronger, and when he didn't pull away or flinch at her touch she managed a weak smiled. It was the first that she'd done that since they realized Pan was loose, since the pair of them had left his shop for home. He was gone. For now. But it was amazing what a little hope could do…for both of them she hoped. She'd seen how determined he'd been at the town line, Rumpelstiltskin had had it too about his own son once. There was no doubt in her mind that he could be just as successful in his quest as he had been, as he'd be again.

"Yeah, well, let's hope I don't have to curse an entire Kingdom to get back to them," he muttered beside her.

No. That was the wrong kind of hope, the wrong kind of determination. There was a right way and a wrong way to go about this, Rumpelstiltskin had done what he had to in order to get back to Neal and it had cost him dearly. Neal couldn't continue on with that cycle. But she knew, he'd said it which only meant that he'd already been thinking about curses and wickedness and evil. The wrong way to do this!

He'd been right earlier, she knew it! Hope wasn't gone! They could get Rumpelstiltskin back and when they did he would help them! She just needed him to see it, to believe as she did that there was another way. If Rumple had taught her anything it was the value of taking things one step at a time. Emma and Henry weren't the next step, they were the goal! Before they could get them back they needed Rumpelstiltskin, and before they could get him back they needed his dagger.

And if it was gone or they couldn't find it-

No! No, she wasn't going to think about that, not until she had proof of the contrary. One step at a time. And right now, until they got Henry and Emma, until she had her Rumple back, until the dagger was safely in her hands, the right step was looking after his son…even if that meant saving him from himself.

Hope. He needed hope. The right kind.

"I heard you talking to David about Rumple," she told him, her voice low enough that no one else would hear them. One thing she knew for certain, if that dagger was still around, no one here needed to know about it…at least no one that didn't already know about it. "You know..." she reminded him gently, "we never saw his knife!" Neal looked around them, taking in her observation and trying to figure out what she'd already worked out in her head. What she'd hoped he would work out. But she couldn't wait, hope was flaring in her chest again, and she wanted to pass it on while she had it. "I think we can get him back."

She watched as something sparked behind his eyes and looked at her astonished. Before she could say anything else, he'd reached out and taken her arm, pushed her to the side of the road and brought her to a standstill so that the caravan could pass them by. He glanced over his shoulder as they stopped, making sure, she supposed, that no one was stopping to question his actions or overhear them.

"You know? About the dagger?" he asked, looking her in the as if trying to sense a lie she was telling. She only nodded confidently, staring right back, daring him to find dishonesty in her gaze or story. She had nothing to lie or be dishonest about. "You know what it is…what it does?!"

"Yes, yes of course!" she answered. Anyone standing there, watching as he and Pan had…any of them would know about it but she, and she suspected Baelfire, might have been the only ones to really know about it! Not through stories, or legends, or enemies…they might be the only two who had heard of it from the Dark One himself. "We can find it Bae. We can find it and summon him back to us. He'll know what to do, he'll know how to get you back to Henry and Emma. We have to try, we have to look-"

"How do you know so much about that thing? Why do you know so much about it? You weren't around when Cora struck," he questioned almost nervously, as if she was suddenly a suspect and not the woman he'd come after hours ago. She couldn't say she blamed him. They knew what others didn't and unfortunately, they knew very little about one another. For all he knew she was the enemy and had learned about that dagger from questionable sources…for questionable purposes.

"He told me," she answered. Neal only searched her eyes further prodding, almost wanting to find a problem with her tale, wanting to not believe it. She understood that because she knew him. Ruby's knowledge of the dagger had shocked her not long ago too.

"He told you?"

"Weeks ago," she insisted, "before he left to find you. He wanted it to be safe so we hid it together. Why did you think it was in my library? Do you really think he'd put me in that kind of danger without telling me?!"

"I…" but Neal seemed speechless at her questioning. She knew that look, he was putting it together, all that he'd known but hadn't understood, everything that she'd told him…he believed her. He just wasn't sure believing her made sense because of who Rumpelstiltskin was. "I don't know what I thought, I guess I never really put it together, you know. But what I do know is that no one knows about the dagger. He doesn't tell anyone about it and getting him to tell us where he hid the damn thing to save his life was like drawing blood from a stone! People who know about it in my experience never live long."

"Because he needed the power to find you," she informed him confidently. It was why he'd let her go in this land decades ago. He needed the power to get back to Bae and if anyone had taken it from him, found that dagger and taken his will away, none of this would ever have come to pass! "He told me about it, Neal," she insisted, reaching out for his arm again, hoping he'd believe her and see what he hadn't been able to in the short time they'd known each other. She'd been as close to Rumpelstiltskin as she possibly could have, loved him as no other, and been loved by him enough to learn his secrets. Rumple had trusted her…and so could he.

"Magic like his isn't easily destroyed," she went on. "If we could find the dagger maybe we'll be able to summon him, resurrect him from the dead, and if there is anyone who could get you back to the Land Without Magic, to Emma and Henry, it's him. He'll know what to do, Neal. He can help us!"

At the delivery of her good news, Neal only took a step back and looked her over skeptically. But after a moment his skepticism faded away and he was peering at her in shock, surprise! It made her to step back, to know what he was thinking, but before she could ask what he was looking at, what was wrong, he smirked. "What changed?" he asked quietly. "This morning, when we first got here you were-"

"What changed," she interrupted, trying not to think about that, trying to keep her hope alive and in the present and future as opposed to the past, "was that I remembered exactly who we are dealing with. What he's like, all the tricks he always has up his sleeve; a man like that? Anything is possible!"


	5. Another Step on the Path

4 hours

"Anything is possible with my father, I've learned never to underestimate him, but getting back to Emma and Henry are only half of it after what Regina did to them. With any luck he'll be able to reverse that too-"

She shook her head at Neal's words. They'd started walking again, though they weren't exactly keeping pace with the others, they hung back and kept to themselves until they caught up, then stayed to the side as they made their way passed the slowest of their caravan. They couldn't separate themselves from the group completely, but they also couldn't risk anyone overhearing what they were talking about. Not after he told her that David and Snow were…less than receptive of him going after their daughter and his son, asking him to leave them in peace. She didn't know what they were going to do, but until she knew who they could trust, who would help them, it needed to stay between the two of them.

But Neal's words weren't making sense anymore. One minute they were talking about the dagger and getting to the castle, the next he was talking about something that Regina had done to Emma and Henry. She tried to think back, to figure out what he was talking about but nothing made sense. Though she knew it was only hours ago the memories at the town line were already blurry, foggy. And it wasn't particularly a scene she wanted to look back on. Right now she had hope, but that was all she felt she had, all she was running on, she was hanging on by a thread and she didn't want to do or think about anything that might tip the scale and send her back into what she'd been living in this morning. It was better to ask than dwell.

"What do you mean?" she asked. "What did Regina do to them?"

Neal opened his mouth once, then glanced down at her and closed it. Perhaps he understood that it was better to simply answer than question what had happened this morning as well. "She called it a gift," he answered with something like disbelief in his voice. "I don't know, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't but…" she placed her hand against Neal's shoulder again as their pace slowed and his voice trailed off. She didn't know what had happened, but she knew it was painful for him. Whatever had happened, he didn't believe it was a "gift".

"When the curse erased Storybrooke, when Emma and Henry left, their memories of everything that happened there were erased too. Regina gave them a new set of memories, memories of the life they always wanted. For Emma…she made them a family…just the two of them…as if she'd never given him up. Never met…"

"Never met you," she concluded, understanding. The two of them. Not the three of them. That meant that Emma would have no memories of New York, of finding Neal, of who he truly was...and neither would Henry. It wasn't as simple as crossing realms and town lines then. Neal and Rumple, no matter where they'd gone had always known about each other. Emma and Henry were gone now, living a life all their own…that left little room for Neal. None at all. Suddenly she understood why Snow and David wanted him to leave their daughter in peace. She didn't agree that it was best but she understood it.

Memories complicated things. She knew that from experience. If erasing cursed memories and bring back old ones were easy Lacey would never have existed longer than a day. But he could do it. It might not be easy but it was possible. If Mother Superior, the Blue Fairy again she supposed, could do it, then given enough time so could Rumpelstiltskin.

She opened her mouth to tell him this, to assure him that while it complicated things it didn't make anything impossible, but he opened his first. "So how do you know Philip and Aurora?" he asked quickly, using one of his fathers quick avoidance techniques to change the topic of their conversation. It was fine. Obviously they weren't really going to get anywhere or make a plan walking down this road, they may as well talk about something else.

"Um..." she sighed. "It was a long time ago, before the curse hit. Philip had been turned into a Yaoguai by this...this terrible woman to keep him away from Aurora," she had to fight back a shiver, thinking of her own close encounter with that woman. "But I was able to save him."

"A Yaoguai?" he questioned, looking at her with confusion and maybe even disbelief.

"Yeah...it's kind of a big,hairless...dog...with a mane of fire. He was stalking a town who had know idea who or what he really was so, I tracked him with a soldier, a friend of mine, Mulan-"

"Another familiar name..." Neal muttered, making her smile. Philip, Aurora, and now Mulan as well? They had more in common than she thought. Neal shrugged at her expression, already sensing her question before she could speak it. "When Tamara shot me and I wound up here...it was the three of them that found me, patched me up, and Mulan took me to the castle so I could get to Neverland. Thank God for imagination," he muttered reaching up and pressing his hand to his shoulder. "Anyway, they're good people, but it's not as good a story as yours. No big hairless dogs on fire-"

"No," she shook her head, "he had a mane of fire, the dog himself wasn't..." but she found herself smiling again and shaking her head again. A good story. He didn't care what the thing looked like. He wanted to know how she'd encountered their mutual friends. "I...cornered the Yaoguai, I guess you could say, but before I could...save the village, I noticed he was writing something on the ground. I've never heard of a Yaoguai that could write so a bit of fairy dust and he was a prince again!" she concluded, editing some of the details she wasn't sure she wanted Neal to know about.

"A Yaoguai that could write...yeah I think most people have never heard of a Yaoguai to begin with."

"Well, they'd be lucky not to cross paths with one," she commented. She liked this. Talking. Or maybe it was just not dwelling on the terrible things that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. But she hadn't thought about the Yaoguai, really thought about that day and Mulan and Philip for so long! It was nice, as she and Neal stood at the beginning of what she was sure was going to be a difficult journey, just what she was capable of, broken as she was.

"You're kinda unique, you know that?" Neal stated after a few quiet moments had passed. It caught her off guard. Where would a statement like that come from. "Yeah, you know not just because of my father, but with Philip...I think most people would have killed a thing like that without a second glance...or you know captured it and used it as a sideshow attraction, 'Come see the amazing writing monster' or something like that-"

"He needed help," she interrupted seeing where he was going and wanting to fix it. She'd done good with Philip but she was lucky everything had worked out, she could remember that clearly! But there were other times, times when things hadn't been so lucky! She wasn't a saint. "I did what I could but it could have easily gone horribly wrong. If your father knew-"

"Papa doesn't know?" he asked quickly.

She shook her head. "We haven't exactly had a lot of time together since the curse broke, Bae-Neal," she corrected quickly. "I never got around to telling him."

Neal only smiled as they ambled forward a few more steps. "On purpose or by accident?" he finally questioned.

She felt...strange. She felt comfortable talking with Neal, but it was almost too comfortable too soon. They'd only really met each other, Belle and Neal, a couple of days ago, but talking to him now she felt as though they'd been having conversations like this for years, like he already knew her. On purpose or by accident. There were times that she nearly had told him, that they'd come close to the topic and then they'd both led the conversation away in a different direction. Many times she'd been happy about that because she knew how he would have reacted and it wouldn't have been pretty. It was as if Neal knew all this already. Did he? Was really really that perceptive, or was it that little piece of his father inside of him playing tricks on her.

"Maybe a little bit of both..." she answered honestly.

"Probably a good thing," Neal responded walking with her. "The only one he likes dealing with danger is himself."

She opened her mouth to correct him. To tell him that he didn't like danger nearly as much as it appeared he did, all he wanted was their safety and he was willing to do anything to ensure that. Including what he'd done with Peter Pan...but before she could say anything, before she could dwell on that thought again, something strange caught her eye and she stopped, reaching out for Neal's sleeve and halting him beside her with a small "Neal".

"What?" he asked. What. She wished she knew what. As it was all she really knew was that something wasn't exactly...right.

Snow White and Regina, walking through the forest with the rest of them, not in the front of the group as they had been last she'd seen them. And behind them, a group of men she couldn't quite make out, joining with the group.

"What happened?" she questioned out loud, pointing them out to Neal. "Who are they?" More people that had come to join them, as others had? No. It couldn't be. Others had joined them but not been personally invited by the Queen! And they always came empty handed, the little they had in the caravan had been gifts from Philip and Aurora, these men carried weapons and full packs with them. And they certainly didn't look lost or confused, they looked more confident than anyone…and one of them was familiar, somehow! She just couldn't place him!

"Actually…I think I know them," Neal breathed. But before she could ask how or where he'd picked up his pace, working his way through the people toward the group of men that had just joined them. She tried to hurry after him but fighting against the people as he had in skirts and heels didn't exactly make the task easy. She worked her way forward and watched as he looked the man over and was nearly caught up when he offered his hand and the first smile she'd seen since they'd been here.

"It's good to see you again Robin," he muttered. They did know each other then. But how? Why was he so familiar to her too?

"You too Baelfire!" the man responded. It was his voice that she recognized, his accent, not his face. Which made sense to her considering the state of it the last time she'd seen him this close. Robin Hood. She never thought she'd see him again after that day on the hill. But she was thrilled to see him, here alive, looking happy and healthy again! Now the only question that remained was would he remember her? Or their brief encounter within the castle? There was only one way to be sure.

"Well, uh..." she cleared her throat and stepped up between the men, inserting herself into their conversation and trying to figure out what she wanted to say. "We've come a long way, haven't we?"

"Belle!" the flicker of hope blazed as the man recalled her name without a moment of hesitation, recognition instantly crossing his face just before he hugged her. The touch didn't burn this time. She still didn't feel whole, but at least she could function properly again. "I believe you already know," he stated suddenly pulling away from her to glance at Neal. "She once treated a poor thief far better than I deserved."

"She does that a lot," Neal commented, smiling at her. Hope wasn't just ablaze anymore. It was a wildfire that burned in her veins and put a blush on her face. Neal believed she was good. That she wasn't an enemy but a friend. He believe she saw what others couldn't. No, she wasn't a Saint. But Neal believed she was good, a far cry from the attitude he revealed in the diner when he'd asked her not to hurt his father. Neal liked her. Every word fed her soul. There was more than hope for her in that moment, it was brief, just a flash of what the future could hold, but she knew it before it faded away again…happiness.

"And what of you?" Robin Hood asked Neal. "What of your journey? Were you able to find your son in Neverland?"

"Yes, thank you," Neal confirmed awkwardly, a twinge of pain in his voice.

"I don't mean to pry but I don't see the boy," he questioned further.

"It's complicated, but, uh, he's safe. He's with his mother...what about your son? I don't see him with you," he went on quickly, changing the subject, something his father would have done in a second! They really were more alike than they knew. Which was probably why she could still see the traces of pain in his face as Robin Hood carried on a conversation with himself. It was pointless, Neal was simply too distracted to talk with anyone about anything other than getting Henry back, which could only mean one thing. She didn't know how Neal knew Robin Hood, though she'd be sure to find out as soon as possible, but she knew that he didn't trust him enough to confide the complete truth in him. For the time being, it was still just the two of them.

But suddenly the pain vanished from his face as his eyes widened. "Belle," he muttered and pointed to the group in front of him where she saw something that wasn't right yet again only this time Neal had been the one to catch it. At some point in the conversation they'd all worked their way to the front of the crowd. In front of her she could see Snow, Regina, and David, and…something else. A divot, a burned out looking trench of dead vegetation that she certainly hadn't seen the night she'd been brought to that building in a cage! And she didn't appear to be the only one confused over its appearance. The Charmings and Regina were looking at it as though it didn't belong either, muttering to themselves.

"What's happening?" she wondered aloud.

"I don't know but I want to find out," he muttered. Without invitation he moved forward and took hold of Charming's horse. She followed suite, taking Snow's and realizing they were close enough now to hear them talk as she heard Snow White question, as she had, what had happened. Robin Hood wasn't as timid as the pair of them were and simply walked right up to the Charmings. She admired his assertive nature…still. But there wasn't anything to hear. Just something to watch as Regina walked over to the trench and a green reflection shimmered to life before her, creating a transparent looking wall that she wouldn't attempt to cross if her life depended upon it.

"A protection spell!" Regina called out, looking over her beloved castle. "The entire castle's encircled by it."

A protection spell. Who was the castle being protected from and why wasn't Regina lowering it?! She glanced over at Bae and found that he was watching their interaction with careful eyes, a completely different strategy to her subtle listening as she tried to hold tight to the horse tossing its head.

"Didn't you do this?" she heard Charming ask. "Undo it!"

"Well don't you think if I could I'd be halfway home by now?!" Regina yelled, automatically making her head pop up to watch her. She didn't like being around Regina when she was in a good mood, it was only natural for her to be careful when she was in a bad mood, but Regina's stride wasn't threatening as she made her way back to them and she took a calming breath. "No," Regina growled at the Charmings. "Someone hijacked it."

"Who?" Snow White questioned. "Who's in there?" Who had been left in the Enchanted Forest with power enough to keep the Evil Queen out of her own home?!

"I don't know," Regina stated looking back on the castle. "But I'm going to find out whoever's eating my porridge. Nobody sits in my chair! Nobody takes our castle!"

"Hey," David muttered to her gently, "we've got a lot of people looking to us. They're scared and rightfully so, let's get them to safety first."

"They'll be safe when whoever's in there is dead!" Regina insisted.

"Rushing in there is a bad plan Regina you know that," Snow argued.

"I can offer safe harbor in Sherwood Forest," Robin Hood suggested stepping forward and stopping their spat. "It's not far. We can offer food, shelter, and a thick canopy no creature will spy you under."

"Do you have weapons?" David asked eagerly.

Robin Hood nodded and muttered something that she didn't quite understand but didn't have to. The answer was clear, yes they had weapons and though she wasn't sure what exactly David had need of them for, she had a sneaking suspicion that battle was in their future.

"Fine!" Regina settled, her patience waning. She took a timid step back with the horse. An impatient Regina was the last thing she wanted at the moment. She knew first hand that it was never safe when she lost her control. "Lead the way, but we're coming back! And whoever did this…" Regina paused and looked at Snow White, obviously wanting her to understand something. "Is going to suffer," she finished with a snarl. It was a very bad sign.

"Regina, it's our home," Snow White assured her, "we'll make it safe again." She trusted her, trusted that one way or another the castle would be theirs, but with so many royals, so many people who had different strategies, values, and ideas she had to wonder. How was this ever going to work? How were they ever going to get along long enough to agree on anything?

She glanced over at Neal who was still staring at them like his life depended on it. Get into the castle. Find the dagger. Get Rumpelstiltskin. Cross realms. Find Emma and Henry. Reverse the memory curse. Why did she feel like each step they took to get closer to their goal, only led them farther and farther away?


	6. Upside-Down

7 hours

So they were going to Sherwood Forest now. And no one seemed happy about it. David and Snow took their horses' reins back and the crowd turned automatically following after their fearless leaders, or at least following their directions as they moved through the group. She and Neal meandered toward the back again. He looked like she felt; tired, irritated, like every second he was in this world drained more and more of the hope that he had. She felt it too, more so now that they were going into Sherwood Forest.

It felt like ages since she'd last been there with Rumpelstiltskin, chasing after Robin Hood, telling off Keith, that ogre of a sheriff, bonding... What she'd told Robin Hood, it was right she just didn't see how right until this moment. She'd come a long way since she was last in that forest with him, they'd come a long way. Without him, with this dreadful empty black bottomless pit that she felt was the scarred remains of her soul, she honestly couldn't think of anything she'd rather do less right now than go back there. But if she had to go with them, if there was no choice, then it was better she was with Neal than on her own. They were on their own, all they had. They'd help each other. New as whatever this relationship was, she had confidence that they both knew that.

So as she walked she picked up the pace and threaded her arm through his elbow, smirking at the way he tensed his arm and automatically bent it for her the same way his father had the first time she'd done it with him too. Like father like son, together they walked through the forest, arm in arm, barely a small smile passing between them in their mutual unhappiness at this seemingly never ending journey...

"Tell me about New York," she suggested suddenly after a fair distance. They were both unhappy, wishing they weren't in this forest or this world, why not focus on somewhere they'd both love to be. Neal had lived in New York, Lacey had always wanted to go there to study fashion and get a job, and her... "I've always wanted to see the world outside Storybrooke...what's New York like?"

Neal offered her a sigh as they walked on, as if he knew exactly what she was doing with her question, but nevertheless began to talk. "It's crowded. Really crowded. Think of a group of people as big as this all walking down the sidewalk together and then picture yourself trying to go the opposite way with a computer bag in one hand, tight enough it can't be stolen and a hot coffee in the other.

"It sounds exhausting," she muttered.

"Yeah, it is sometimes, but...I don't know, you learn to get used to it I guess, you find places that are beautiful and peaceful. Like...like there's nothing like sitting in central park right, watching a dog play fetch or kids learning to ride a bike for the first time. There was this bench I liked to go to eat lunch on, right by this fountain, it was my favorite part of the day. At least until I got home. It wasn't much but it was a good life, plain...simple..." she could read between the lines on that one easily enough.

It was a life without magic.

"What did you do there?"

Neal smiled and shook his head. "Nah, you wouldn't believe me if I told you-"

"Why not?" she asked. "It's not as though you've ever lied to me!

Neal looked down at her for a heartbeat then shrugged the arm she wasn't attached to, "Yeah, okay, so I had papers right, but they were all fake, good enough to get by, but not if anyone took a really close look. A buddy of mine, you know he knew my fascination with the past, which was really just a fascination with figuring out everything that had happened in the land since I'd gone to Neverland, and he knew I liked old things, never really could get into television and all that..." an old soul just like nearly everyone in Storybrooke. "He got me a job at this place right...they uh, they bought and sold old antiques, sometimes traded them for other forms of collateral, or gave out loans..." she nearly stopped dead. Now where had she heard nearly those exact same words before?

From his father. The first day, the first hour really, she'd had her memories back, the first time she asked what he did.

"You worked in a pawn shop?" she questioned, amazed.

"I told you, you wouldn't believe me-"

"No! No, I do, it's just...it's a-"

"Really big coincidence, yeah I know, but if it makes you feel better this wasn't anything like my father had. And I wouldn't say I really worked at the pawn shop as worked for the pawn shop. I worked in the back, assessed things, put a value on them. Half of my job involved hours sitting in front of the computer the other half required me to get dressed up in a big fancy penguin suit and go to homes to take pictures, discuss money with clients. We brought in a lot of high paying clientele which meant the pay was decent. It really wasn't as similar as it seems. It was just using some natural talents to get by once I grew up and wanted a bit of stability. Besides, I clean up well."

"Stability? Stability from-"

But before she could ask the question she heard a strange noise, Bae missed a step, and nearly pulled her over with him!

Robin Hood. He'd come up behind him and clapped him on the back, perhaps a little too hard for the friendly gesture. "Baelfire you remember my men, no doubt?" he questioned.

Neal put a friendly smile on his face, one that Rumple had used often enough for her to recognize it. It was friendly, but forced. "Course," he answered looking around at them, "they're hard to forget! Little John?" he nodded at a bigger man that she would never have described as "little" that had taken up the place on the other side of Robin.

"You're well, I trust?" John inquired.

Neal paused, hesitated, before nodding his head. "Yeah, just fine." She felt her mouth twist into a sad sympathetic smile and squeezed his arm for support. The muscles in his arm tensed under her fingers, an answering squeeze. Yes, so long as they stayed together, they were going to be…just fine. But no more.

"Belle," Robin turned to her suddenly, "I'd like to introduce you to my men. Without you I would never have made it back to them or to-"

"Papa! Papa!" The heads of all the men popped up and looked in the direction of the small high pitched voice. A boy, small and grinning was running between the legs of crowd walking around him as he made his way toward them, his cape billowing behind him.

"Hey, Roland!" Neal suddenly shouted unexpectedly. She was shocked and surprised to find that the boys face lit up even more as he suddenly veered off course and ran straight for Neal, shouting "Baelfire! Baelfire!" She released Neal's arm just in time for him to reach down and catch the small child before raising him up in his arms.

"Hey little buddy, where have you been hiding?!" She smiled as she watched Neal suddenly happy. It really was a shame that he'd never had the chance to know Henry as a child, he would have made a great father. He would be, she reminded herself. He already was a great father, whether Henry knew it now or not, and one day he'd make a great father once more! She had to believe that! Because she didn't want to think about the future where their hopeful plan failed.

"My son...Roland," Robin explained stepping up next to her as Neal and Roland continued to fall further and further behind, having some discussion or other as Neal held him in his arms. "Also something I owe to you."

She smiled up at him. As far as he was concerned she'd only freed him from his cell, he didn't know that she'd been able to put together that Roland was his son because she'd once seen him ride off into the fog with a very pregnant woman he obviously had loved. But he didn't owe her anything. No one should ever owe another person a life. All she'd done was what any decent person should have done…and it had taken her far too long to do it in her opinion.

"So, Sherwood Forest is home for you then?" she questioned, ignoring his comments and finding something else to talk about until Neal got back. Which, as she looked over her shoulder and located the boys, might be a while. Neal had set Roland down and the two of them were examining something she couldn't make out in his hands, falling even further behind than they already were.

"On occasion," Robin Hood nodded. "It's always been more of a safe place for us in our travels, though more so once the curse hit. But I didn't lie to you that day in the castle, I am from all over."

"You're lucky he lets you walk with us," the man called Little John informed her with a joking smile that Robin didn't return. "We've had very little luck traveling with women!"

"John-"

"First Marian, then Mulan-"

"John!" Robin stated raising his voice with authority. All it took was a gaze and a shake of his head and she could see that the topic was dropped, but she wished it wasn't. Mulan. They'd traveled with Mulan?! Knowing the woman she couldn't say she was terribly surprised but...she'd abandoned her village for them? That did surprise her? Could she possibly have worked with them for the safety of her village? When? Was she here among them now? Or had something happened to her, something that made little John mention the poor luck they'd had with women?

She glanced behind her to find that Neal had released Roland and he was making his way back to his father. She wanted her answer, wanted to know what had happened to her friend, but maybe now wasn't the time. Between Little John's ominous jest and Robin's face, perhaps asking in front of the child wouldn't be the best way to go about it.

Later. They were going to Sherwood Forest, they'd be there for who knew how long. Maybe she could ask then. Maybe she could-

Suddenly from behind her, a high-pitched noise, like a cry or a scream, burst through her thoughts. Everyone turned to find the source of the unnerving pitch and when another cry echoed through the Forest she heard Robin Hood mutter "Roland" under his breath before a number of them ran toward the disturbance instead of away from it.

"Incoming!" Baelfire screamed, allowing her to locate him amidst the chaos. There was a creature, one she didn't recognize flying through the sky. She caught a glimpse of sharp claws, broad wings, and a body coming right at Baelfire. She felt her heart jump into her throat as her jaw dropped. Without thinking, or planning, or telling herself to she took off in the same direction as Robin Hood, wanting to get to Bae! To protect him! To help him! Somehow!

But as it came close she watched Bae dive to the ground! It missed him...but only just barely. She tried to get closer but felt someone yank on her arm stopping her from going to him. Granny. And her grip was unbreakable. She was helpless to watch as the creature turned and dove again for Bae…no, worse.

Roland!

"Papa!" the child yelled.

"Roland!" Robin screamed pushing bodies aside to head for the boy. He wasn't going to make it. She could see it! Her mind was still working, calculating the speed of the creature, the distance between Robin and the frozen child! He needed to run to move! But he was just a boy! He couldn't understand-

She gasped as the boy was suddenly moved out of the way by…

The Evil Queen?!

Yes! She'd stepped forward just in time and snatched him out of the way. But the creature was relentless and rounded on the pair of them again, even as Regina strategically placed herself between the boy and the monster. Another death. This day just seemed to get worse and-

"Not so fast!" she watched as Regina waved her hand at the approaching beast. In a puff of purple smoke the creature lost momentum and seemed to shrink as it fell to the ground…as a harmless stuffed animal! A monkey.

Without a second of hesitation Robin Hood ran forward and grabbed Roland into his arms, desperately cradling the young child with a look of relief as the crowd began to gather curiously around Regina. Finally the grip Granny had on her arm had softened enough for her to pull away and join them, for her to look around them and glance at Neal. She felt a sudden rush of relief push through her as he stood up. He was alright. Or at least alright enough to get on his feet and walk toward them. Bae…

Neal. He wanted her to call him Neal, she reminded herself again. Silly really she should think of something like that at a time like this! She swallowed and fought the urge to run for him and check him for scrapes and bruises. He was a grown man. He didn't want her to mother him. Sitting in the dinner yesterday that seemed like an easy enough request. Now? Now she felt like it took all her strength to veer toward the crowd instead of Neal. Later. She could check him later.

"See," Regina said to Roland, showing him the stuffed monkey, "not so scary. Now you have a new toy," she smiled handing the thing over to the boy. Roland took it, unharmed, unscarred.

"Thank you," Robin breathed. Rumpelstiltskin gave his life, selflessly. Regina just risked her own to save another life. She'd already had to fight the impulse to care for Baelfire instead of Neal. The world seemed to have turned upside-down in the last few hours. How much worse could it get?


	7. An Unexpected Hero

7 hours

The boy was safe. Neal looked fine, though she admitted she'd have to subtly check him over for scratches when the crowd finally dispersed. That…thing had come too close to him for comfort and she knew all too well from books and experience that sometimes all it took was a scratch or a bite for a curse to infect another soul. The last thing she wanted was Neal to end up as one of those flying…what was it?!

"What the hell was that thing?!" David shouted, voicing her question and the thought that she was sure was racing through everyone's mind. It didn't look like any creature she'd ever seen. And she'd been face to face with a Yaoguai!

"The same kind of monster that attacked us on our journey here," Snow informed them, to her surprise. There had been another attack like this? When? How? Where? They'd all been together…except just before Robin and his men showed up. Regina and Snow. She remembered seeing the pair of them walking around the group. Had they just been attacked? Why hadn't they raised an alarm then?! Better yet, why had they wandered away in the first place?!

"If I didn't know better I'd say it looked an awful lot like a monkey," Grumpy pointed out, chasing her questions from her mind and making her look down at the small stuffed toy Roland held clutched in his tiny fist. Yes, a monkey. That would certainly explain the toy, but still-

"A monkey with wings?" David questioned for her suspiciously.

"Yes," Regina chimed in, "that's exactly what it is."

She felt her stomach do a turn. A monkey with wings. Were they thinking, remembering, what she was remembering?

"Okay, you're acting like that's normal," Neal stated, clearly confused

"Actually it is," she answered, her mouth opening without her ever giving it permission to, "but not here." She had no choice. There was valuable information in her head, on a creature that had struck twice already. A winged monkey. She knew the creature, but not from this land. She'd read about them once in a book from her library. A library where she'd found so many of the faces before her, including her own, written out between the pages of "classic" tales. The monkeys were in one of those "classics" but they weren't from this world like the rest of them.

"There's only one land that has creatures like that. I've read about it," she explained, "Oz."

"Oz?" Snow White questioned in a disbelieving tone. There was once a time she hadn't believed in the possibility of realms existing outside theirs, of something beyond the Enchanted Forest…but she knew better, and Rumpelstiltskin had told her as much when she was nothing more than a simple maid! To assume that would be ignorant. The Enchanted Forest. The Land Without Magic. Neverland. Why not Oz too? "It's a real place?!" She couldn't say she blamed her, she'd once had a tone like that about the topic as well, but in her mind there was something far more sinister at play. If Oz existed…what was the Wicked Witch doing in the Enchanted Forest?

"The bookworm is right," Regina confirmed giving her a nod. She tried hard not to be too put off by her insult. Her tone hadn't been condescending or cruel. It was just Regina being Regina. After years of smart remarks like that, it was too much of her personality to ever get rid of. "It's quite real," she explained to her step-daughter, "and if our simian friend is any indication, I think we know exactly who's taken up residence in our castle. The Wicked Witch," she declared menacingly. Yes, her assumption had been right, but that still didn't answer her question. Why was the witch here and not where she belonged in Oz!

"Are we talking East or West?" Grumpy asked suddenly managing to look shocked and frightened all at the same time.

"Does it matter?" Snow White questioned. "Neither one sounds good."

"Well, one you drop a house on and the other you throw a bucket of water on," the dwarf pointed out smartly, hiding his anxiety behind humor. It didn't work. No one found the comments funny, least of all her. This was all happening too fast. First Pan, then losing Rumple and Henry…now this!

"So, Regina, what exactly are we up against, besides green skin and a pointy hat? What did you do to her?" David asked accusingly. It was strange. In Storybrooke she never paid him much attention, never really thought much of him besides the fact that he was quiet. It was funny what different clothes and a change of scenery could do to a person. David suddenly resembled a Prince far more than he ever had in The Land Without Magic.

"This time nothing!" the Queen insisted, almost sounding surprised that they thought so little of her. "Never met her!"

"This isn't a personal vendetta?!" Charming stated with surprise. She couldn't blame him, or everyone else for that matter. Until recently, very recently in her opinion, there had never been reason to think anything good of the Queen. "Shocking!" the Prince concluded, "Okay then, Oz aside, we stick to the original plan: arm up then attack!" he announced to the group, making her stomach turn over. Attack. That was what David wanted the weapons Robin Hood had for! He was going to attack! But things had changed. He was planning too quickly. This was the Wicked Witch! They'd only just discovered this minutes ago and he still thought the original plan was going to work?! No. It was too much. Far too much. She needed the world to stop. She needed everything to slow down, everyone to think, to not move so fast for one minute. This day seemed never-ending.

"Assuming," the Prince continued, looking at Regina with an untrustworthy look, "you can get the shield down." She'd never seen a look like that on him before. The Prince certainly had changed to say the least, she just wasn't sure if she liked this change or not.

"You don't need to worry about me," the Evil Queen answered confidently, moving away from the little huddle they'd formed.

"I'm coming with you," Snow stated holding her bow tight in her hand and looking like a force to be reckoned with.

"No!" Regina insisted quickly, stopping her. "This is a one woman job."

"Wh…against the Wicked Witch?!" Snow reminded her, looking at her husband for help or insistence. He didn't offer any. She glanced at Roland and Robin Hood, recalling how she'd seen Snow and Regina walking together when he and his father, their small tribe, had joined the group. What exactly was the reason behind that? "She has flying monkeys, who knows what else!"

"I don't care if the lollipop guild is protecting her," Regina stated, suddenly sounding like her normal angry and sarcastic self again. "I can do this on my own," she stated clearly, determined.

She watched as the women exchanged glances. No, more than glances. Understanding. Knowledge. Suspicion. It was fast but it was all there in that small look. Suddenly she had the feeling that there was more going on at the moment than she knew, maybe more than all of them knew, even David.

"Then we'll be waiting for you on the other side," Snow smiled, giving into her, trying to invest her belief…but she wasn't sure she was successful. There was something more going on here. Something she didn't understand, information none of them had.

But she was tired. Of secrets. Of plans. Of whispers. She was tired of only putting plans together through the little bits and pieces of information they left for her to pick up! If he was here, if he was by her side she knew what she would have done. She would have said something. She would have asked what was going on, questioned what was happening. But, as it was, he wasn't here. So when the Queen turned and left them, presumably to somehow disable the protection spell, so they could follow blindly after David and attack, she said nothing.

Just looked for Neal.


	8. A Team of Two

7 hours

The royals dispersed quickly as the sun began going down. Snow and David began talking with the man called Little John after Robin Hood gave the man a reassuring nod. And Regina took off into the woods to, she could only assume, disable the spell surrounding the castle. She didn't particularly care. After everything that had happened she didn't know how she felt about the Evil Queen or if she really trusted her. Right now she seemed to be submitting to the group, going along with what they planned, but she could see something behind the Queens gaze, something she recognized because she could see it in Rumple's eyes when he was alone with her and his guard was down. She was haunted, mourning. She really had loved Henry and being away from him…well, if she stopped to think about it too much she suspected that she and the Queen had more in common at the moment than she cared to admit.

She didn't know if she trusted the Queen completely, but for this task…she didn't have a choice. Either Regina would do as she said she would, and they'd be in the castle soon or she'd disappear never to be seen again…and they'd be no worse than they were now. Only the prospect of battle, of not knowing what they were walking into, was making her nervous.

Eagerly she moved around the people fighting to get past her and stepped up next to Neal again walking with him as they continued their trek through the forest to collect the weapons that Robin Hood had at his camp.

"Are you alright?" she asked looking him over, putting a hand on the shoulder she thought the creature might have nicked him on. He didn't seem hurt, but he was wearing layers; a wound could easily get lost in all of it. Still, nothing looked ripped or torn at least.

"Yeah, fine I think." She let out a sigh of relief and Neal looked as though she'd just pushed him, taking a timid step away from her. "Are you?" he asked.

Was she? It was an excellent question considering all that had just happened, everything that she'd learned, and the day that she'd had…days, since she hadn't slept since…since he'd gotten back from Neverland. Since they'd had one night. On the outside, yes, she was managing to look fine. But on the inside, she felt like there was a war raging within her. Hope wanted to live. But there was only a little of it in her chest, and sorrow threatened to drown it out with every thought, every reminder, every gesture! And then Neal-

The moment she'd seen that creature, the flying monkey, attack him she'd felt as though her heart had stopped. She felt as though she was about to watch someone else she loved die right in front of her eyes all over again. Of course she couldn't tell Neal that. She knew how it would have sounded, and she promised that she would never mother him. Expressing the panic he'd sent her into, certainly didn't sound like "not mothering", just as checking him over for wounds would. That was probably what had startled him a moment ago as it was.

So she took a step back and nodded. "Fine." He stared at her for a while, looking her up and down suspiciously before finally taking a step toward her again as they walked, accepting the truth she'd offered. She wasn't okay, she wasn't great, she wasn't good. But he hadn't asked if she was okay, great, or good. For once she was the one to find the loophole instead of Rumpelstiltskin. He was fine. He was okay. At least one of the important people in her life was still here, by her side. Hope was smoldering somewhere deep inside of her fighting to stay alive. For now, she was no better or worse than fine.

But for how long? Every silent step brought them closer to Sherwood Forest closer to battle, and what she saw around her didn't make her feel fine. Little John was still talking to Snow and David, still holding their attention, but as she watched them David reached up to cover his mouth, hiding a yawn. Roland was on his own again; walking with some member of Robin Hood's group that she hadn't met yet and as the sky got darker and darker she couldn't find the boy's father anywhere. The camp they finally arrived at wasn't exactly an armory. It was a simple, plain camp. She might not ever have led a war, but she'd sat in on the war council room enough to know that these were not favorable conditions to go into battle. There weren't many of them. Those that were taking weapons to go back and fight didn't exactly seem like trained soldiers, it was dark, their leaders were exhausted, they hadn't been here in decades, the geography could have changed, they didn't know their enemy…

There were a million more reasons why this was a bad idea. But she seriously doubted anyone would listen to her, that they would stop to think for a few moments about changing their plan.

"Alright!" David called out, stepping up on a fallen tree trunk and addressing the "soldiers" gathering around him. "There is a blockade around the castle, Regina will disable that for us. We turn, go back to the castle, wait in the woods until we have access-"

"I'll keep watch!" Grumpy shouted with a determined scowl on his face.

David nodded. "Once the shield is down we attack the witch and any minions she may have fighting on her side, monkey or not. That is our castle and this is our Kingdom…and we're going to get it back!"

"This is wrong," she muttered against the loud victory chant, watching the men turn and begin to walk back in the direction they'd just come from, toward the castle. It wasn't that she disagreed with David, just his plan. She turned to look at Neal, seeking out support, someone to agree with her, but instead she only watched as he drew a sword from his belt that she hadn't noticed until this moment. "What are you doing?" she asked stepping away as he pawed it, as if he was testing it out. He wasn't actually considering joining them was he?!

"Getting ready for a fight," he answered offhandedly. His concentration was obviously used up on the weapon he held, but hers was busy focusing on the drop her stomach had just done. Similar to the one she'd had when she'd seen him attacked.

As Bae took a step forward, she didn't care if it was too "mother-like" or not, she reached out, pulled on his arm with every ounce of strength that she had, forcing him to stop off to the side of the group. "Neal, this isn't smart, don't go!" she begged.

"If it could help me figure out some way to get back to Henry then so be it."

"What are you talking about?" she questioned harshly, feeling like she'd been completely blind-sided from the sudden change in topics. They were talking about battle not Henry! Weren't they?

"Look," he corrected, watching her, "this isn't Oz, right. If that witch could figure out a way to get here from there, then maybe she knows a way to get me make to my son."

Her body practically shook with fear as Neal moved around her and proceeded with the group. No. They had a plan, they'd figured it out before they'd learned about the witch and they needed to stick to it. There were right ways and wrong ways to get him back to Henry and siding with a person like the Wicked Witch wasn't something she was going to let happen.

"No, Neal!" she called, chasing after him, cutting him off as she stepped in front of him. "This isn't the way to get back to Henry and Emma."

"Any way to get back to them is a way-"

"But it's not the right way, please Bae, we have a plan, give it a chance."

"I need to get back to my son," he insisted moving around her again. But she refused to give up and chased after him once more.

"And that," she spat at him, doing her best to keep her voice down as the crowd passed the pair of them by, "is exactly what your father said time and time again before he made poor choice after poor choice!" Neal glanced away from her, off into the tree line somewhere, avoiding her gaze just as Rumpelstiltskin would have…when he was considering what she was saying but didn't like it. Neal didn't like what she was saying, but he hadn't made a motion to move away from her again and she could only take that as a good sign.

"There is a right way and a wrong way to do this," she informed him. "You're fathers ethics were questionable and we've both seen the damage those ethics had on his heart. Don't do what he did. Don't take the wrong path. Make sure that when you see Henry again, when Henry finally sees you, his father, your soul is intact." Maybe it was because she'd grown up reading too many stories, maybe it was because she spent too much time with Rumpelstiltskin, a true wordsmith, but for whatever reason, she could see that she'd chosen her words right. Neal agreed with her. She could see it in his eyes.

But still his posture was defensive, determined. He knew she was right but right now he was probably just as exhausted as she was and he was having a hard time conceding to the right, but still road less traveled. "Look," he sighed after a moment, "even if I think you have a valid point we still have a problem. We don't have a plan. We have a goal, an outline, nothing more-"

"We can make a plan."

"How?! You heard me talking to David earlier, they aren't going to let us get away, they aren't going to let us go look for my father, or even try to get back to my family, not while we're like this. Let them get into the castle, let them take back their damn kingdom! If they're good and distracted at least they aren't watching us!" He moved around her again as if she was nothing but a tree.

She'd won. But so had he. She hadn't exactly heard the rest of the conversation that Neal had with David, she'd been distracted at the time, but she should have known it had gone poorly because they were here, instead of at Rumple's castle. Now she had a reason why. They didn't want Neal to go back to Emma and Henry. But Neal had a point too. They didn't have a plan, at least she understood that they didn't now. Before she thought it was as simple as taking Neal and going to find the castle but if they were on their own, if the others really didn't want them to go…they had more obstacles to overcome.

She didn't like it, hated really the idea of Neal going off to fight some witch he didn't know about, but she supposed there wasn't much of a choice. He had two options. Fight with them or don't fight at all. She didn't know him like she knew her Rumple, but from everything she'd heard about him, every brief interaction they'd had, she had the feeling that asking him to sit out on the sidelines wasn't an option. Somehow he'd survived on his own in Neverland then again when he'd finally got to The Land Without Magic, maybe he could survive against the Wicked Witch of the West. And at least he wouldn't be alone this time…she wouldn't let him be alone.

Before she could convince herself that it was a bad idea, or remind herself about every bad thing that could go wrong, she ran after him and put her hands around his elbow as they made their way toward the castle again. "What are you-"

"I'm coming with you," she insisted before he could finish the question.

"No," he stated coming to a stop. "No, what do you think you're going to do to-"

"I can't use a sword and I've never fought a witch but I've taken on a Yaoguai and lived to see the light of day, not to mention dealt with Rumpelstiltskin…what's a Wicked Witch?" Neal gave an irritated sigh. She didn't care if she was clinging to him. What else did she have to cling to? She'd already lost everything else that mattered to her she wasn't going to lose Bae too. The bottom line? If he was going so was she.

"We're it remember," she muttered pulling him along with her. "If we don't stick together, then we'll never get home."


	9. A Big Brother

10 hours

It was dark by the time they hid themselves in the thick forest surrounding the Queens palace and they quickly made a small camp, a place to wait for the Queen to lower the shields, and made sure to keep the light to a minimum, for fear the witch might see them in the dark. Snow White had lived in the castle as a child and inside the tent with the dwarves, Neal, and Robin's men she did her best to quickly go over some of the important things they would need to know about attacking it. She told them where the doors were. About all the secret passageways she could remember. The rooms that would be the most likely spot for a person to hide in. She told them the best vantage points for guards and look outs. And frighteningly enough, quick and easy ways to escape, just in case things didn't go as planned.

David told them that once they were inside, once the castle and the Kingdom belonged to them again, the witch was dead, and it was safe, they could begin the task of rebuilding everything the curse had destroyed. Robin's men would go out into the forest, seek out all the survivors of the previous curse, everyone who needed a home or a purpose. The castle would become a beacon for all those who were lost. It would take months, maybe years to finish, but one way or another, home would be home again…at least that was what David believed.

She and Neal only exchanged glances at that comment, remembering their previous conversation about plans and goals. This wasn't the endgame for either of them, it was a means to an end, a better ending, a happier ending…it was one step closer to home.

Their plans made, they waited outside in the dark, meandering around by the light of a few torches as they waited, the greenish light from the dome of the protection spell visible in the distance. Neal wasn't happy with her, she knew that, but she wasn't hurt by it. He was concerned for her, didn't like the fact that she was one of the few women insisting that she come with them into the castle and he especially didn't like that of those women she was probably the least qualified to be there.

Snow had her bow. Regina magic. Granny a deadly looking crossbow and Ruby, well, as the girl fiddled with the knot on her red cloak she'd knew she had a unique weapon. But she had nothing. No sword, in the end the only ones they could locate for her were too heavy for her to lift and would only slow her down if she had to run. The same went for a shield. She'd never fired an arrow in her life and she thought that it probably was too much of a risk for those around her if she started now. So she had a small knife tucked into her boot and had agreed, for Neal, to stay toward the back of the group. In the end, while everyone else waited, she ended up double checking the few horses they were bringing with them, making sure saddles were tight and bits in place, all the while Neal cast her glances over his shoulder that were angry and worried all at the same time.

_"I've got her." _That was the promise he'd made only this morning, or that was at least what came out of his mouth as he'd taken her from Archie. It had barely been twenty-four hours and she felt as though he'd already gone above and beyond that statement. New as all this was, insistant as she'd been with him, and as unhappy as he was with her for these decisions it would have been fair and expected for him to walk away, to tell her that she wasn't his problem and he didn't need the burden that she surely was in the earliest hours of the morning and maybe even now. But he didn't. He was still here. Happy with her or not, he was working through it and still doing the honorable thing. And she...

She didn't like upsetting or worrying him, truly she didn't not after everything he'd done and was doing for her. But if she was honest with herself, she had to admit that she liked those worried and angry glances a bit. She didn't even know that she was capable of feeling something like that until this moment. That morning, only hours ago, when Rumple had died she had been so sure that there would never be anyone in the world that would care for her again…Neal, she liked his concern, that he did care. She liked that he recognized so quickly just how alone they both were and that they needed one another. She had never had an older protective brother or even a cousin but she suspected that this was what if must have felt like to have one. It wasn't exactly the relationship that she'd intended to have with Rumple's son, but she supposed, considering their age difference, it made more sense than what she'd originally imagined when she'd first learned he'd existed. Besides, there were worse places to begin their association…like having him stumble upon her encouraging her lover to beat a man just for looking at her the wrong way.

Lacey.

She'd have to explain that incident to him. It wouldn't be a fun conversation, but she owed it to him to explain what, exactly, had been going on the first time he'd met her. She owed it to-

Something changed. The campsite seemed to get dimmer all of a sudden, it seemed to flicker as if light was going off or some power surge was disrupting it. No. It wasn't a surge of electricity. It was a different surge of power. Magic.

"It's down!" she heard Grumpy shout through the forest. When she glanced over her shoulder she understood. That greenish glow from the bubble had disappeared. Regina had done it! She'd removed the protection spell.

"We move on the castle!" David announced to them, putting it together. It was time. Time to go! And everyone knew it.

The people around her began to move. They all collected their weapons and followed after the royals that lead their way toward the castle. Neal flourished his sword, Snow marched forward without fear, and she scrambled to pick up another knife that someone had left behind, telling herself that two would be better than one, before she found the other horse she'd volunteered to take charge of. She followed Neal's instructions and trailed along behind the group, walking with one horse in each hand. Though, she knew that this probably wasn't what Neal had in mind completely. Instead of staying too far back she made sure she never lost sight of him, difficult to do since she was doing her best to keep to the soft ground so the horses hooves wouldn't be heard and betray them. She didn't know if the Wicked Witch would sense that the spell was down, but if everyone else was walking quietly, she knew she had to as well.

They were nearly half way there, preparing to split up when the silence of the night was broken by a gasp as someone pointed upward. "Look!" a dwarf screamed.

It wasn't easy to "look" because of the dark, but as she stared her eyes began to slowly adjust to lack of the light and she saw…she wasn't quite sure what she was seeing. It was blurry. A blurry black shadow soaring through the sky overhead. It wasn't a bird. She was certain of that, there was no flapping of the wings, the creature merely floated across the sky, slowly at first as it left the castle then suddenly took off at a miraculous speed that made sport cars look slow! Then came the birds or rather, if the squeals and shrieks were any indication, flying monkeys. They poured out of the upper tower that she imagined might have held her prison cell once upon a time and flew after the witch. They flew right over their heads!

"Take cover!" David yelled to the group. Some moved forward, trying to get to the castle, some moved into the brush and ducked down, fearing she could only assume that it was an attack and they were about to drop rocks or other deadly objects over them. She sought out Bae once more but the horses were rearing and bucking, pulling free of her grasp and she couldn't see beyond them to get herself to the safety of "cover".

A horse pulled.

The other tugged.

The ground stayed still and she jerked, nearly falling to the ground before-

"Belle!" Neal yelled grabbing her around her shoulders and righting her. She didn't know where he'd come from and it was hard to focus because too many things were happening all at once. The horses spooked and ran free. Neal pushed her into the brush and forced her down onto her knees, flipping the hood of her cloak up over her head as the grip he'd somehow maintain around her shoulders became bone crunching. He didn't say anything but the message was loud and clear: stay quiet, stay still.

Together they waited in silence, the sound of their breath and heartbeats filling up the dead space that bugs weren't even claiming for their own. There were others huddled down just as they were, all eyes focused on the sky as they watched the swarm, waiting for the monkeys to attack, to swoop down and pluck them off the ground as they'd threatened to with Bae and Roland…but it never happened. The air hummed with the sound of dozens of wings overhead, but the mutants stayed their course, and not once did any of them make any attempt to lower their altitude or come after them. But…then…

"They're…retreating!" she heard one of the dwarves state in shock some distance away.

"How can they retreat if we never attacked?" David questioned.

"Regina!" Snow suddenly burst out. She exploded from where David held her crouched against the earth and took off at a run toward the castle.

"Snow!" David called, chasing after her. It was a domino effect, a game of follow the leader in every way imaginable. Once the royals began there was no stopping everyone else from jumping up and following after them.

"Are you alright?" Bae asked, glancing down at her in the dark. He sounded as though he hadn't quite caught his breath yet. He sounded like she felt, and she knew it was far from over. The second she nodded her head he pulled her to her feet. "Can you run?" With another nod he released her, looked over his shoulders at the distant creatures and gave her a gentle push forward. "We'll find the horses later. Let's go. Don't lose the group!" he yelled as they both took off after the crowd.

The pair of them ran until they caught up, until they were in the crowd, until they were right up front on the tail of David and Snow White-

And then they all came crashing to a sudden halt as the doors to the palace opened to reveal bright light shining down on them, making them blink the shock of it away. On instinct she felt hands that she could identify by pressure alone now as Neal's, against her arms again. Stopping himself before he collided with her, holding her up so she didn't trip from the sudden stop they'd made. Together they stood in the sudden light, blinking away the darkness so they could see a figure emerged from the palace. No, two figures. Regina and...Robin Hood?!

"What the hell happened?" David demanded as she looked at them a smirk blossoming into a smile that made her belly knot. She hadn't seen a smile like that since she'd talked to her own the road about Rumpelstiltskin. Since she'd sent her back as a tool to be his undoing. Suddenly she found herself instinctively leaning back into Neal's protective grasp.

There were worse things in the world than having a big brother.


	10. Unintentional Exclusion

13 hours

They opened the castle for everyone as planned despite Regina's "they can't all stay here forever!" remarks. "Well, we can't leave them out their to fend for themselves after everything that's happened. We'll figure it out, take it slow, come up with a plan," Snow White commented, ever the optimist. Robin Hood left shortly after their arrival to locate the horses that had run off, and tell those that remained at the camp that it was over and they could seek shelter in the Queen's Palace. He promised he'd be back the next morning. The dwarves immediately vowed to take their places atop the castles' towers and keep watch. "Just in case the witch comes back!" Grumpy informed them.

"She won't if she's smart," the Queen growled with pride.

"Regina what happened?" Snow demanded as they followed her into the castle. She swayed as she and Neal followed after the royal family. How long had she been up now? How much had she been through since she woke up that morning in his arms?

"I ran into unexpected complications," Regina stated, opening the doors and leading them into what appeared to be a long banquet hall. Strange. She'd grown up in this kind of life. Large rooms, fine furnishings, cold castles. Then she'd worked in Rumpelstiltskin's castle and she'd never once felt that about it. Maybe because of the darkness, maybe because they were alone, maybe because it was dusty and they only used a handful of rooms…but his castle never made her half as uncomfortable as this one did, as the memories of her time in her father's palace did after what he'd tried to do to her.

"Complications?" Snow questioned. "What kind of complications? The Wicked Witch left quickly enough-"

"Zelena!" Regina snapped, pulling out a chair and collapsing down into it in a heap.

"What?" David asked, watching her, his hand on the hilt of his sword as if he couldn't decide whether or not he trusted Regina's state of mind at the moment. She could understand that feeling. That smile she'd seen outside still made her feel uneasy and the fact that she was back in this place, the castle that had once served as her prison, she imagined that didn't help her feeling as well.

"Her name…" Regina explained in a harsh tone, "it's Zelena."

"You know her?!" Snow exclaimed.

"No! I already told you that!" she shouted at the pair. She wrapped her hand around Neal's arm and squeezed. He glanced at her and she understood perfectly. He was still there for her, but he wanted to remain quiet. Right now they were acting as though they didn't notice them in the room and Neal wanted to keep it that way. She had to admit, that after all the times she felt like she'd been the last one to understand what the Charmings or Emma or anyone was really up to, she agreed with him. The last thing they needed was for the Charmings to kick them out before they heard what had happened. The two of them didn't have a plan yet, but befriending the Charmings would be instrumental in creating one if they were really going to give them trouble as Neal feared. Besides, information, no matter how it was acquired was always a good thing to have.

"So what happened? You met in the castle, politely introduced yourself to the Wicked Witch, she apologized and left just like that?" David questioned sarcastically.

"No of course not!" she snapped standing up again and beginning a walk around the table. "It was a…less than enjoyable confrontation."

Keeping quiet was difficult. She knew tactics like that, the ones that consisted of carefully chosen words and avoidance. If it was Rumpelstiltskin she would have stared him down, continued asking questions, pressing until he finally told her. But Regina?! She hadn't a clue how to deal with Regina. And the fact that the shackles that once held her prisoner were somewhere upstairs only make her shrink closer to Neal. She hoped she didn't have to stay in this castle long. She didn't think she could bear it.

"Regina, the only way this works, you with us, is if there is no more 'you' and 'us'," Snow pointed out. "We have to be together in this, it'll take the three of us to put the Enchanted Forest back together and if the Wicked Witch of the West is here, if she poses a threat you need to tell us!" she begged gently, striding toward her and turning her with a touch to her shoulder. "Please, tell us!"

Regina stared at Snow White, before her eyes glanced over to her and Neal, casting them a brief glance. "Do you two really need to be here?" she asked.

"Either we're in this together or we're not," Neal stated, "right?"

Regina squared her jaw and stared at the two of them. She waited, hoped that David or Snow would say he was right, that they had just as much right to be here as they did, but they didn't and she supposed the silence answered Neal's question and confirmed what she'd believed since they'd first talked on the road this morning. They really were on their own.

"Regina," Snow breathed after a moment, looking back at her. "Please, what are we up against?! We can't fight back if we don't know!"

"My sister!" Regina answered, angrily pulling away from Snow's grasp and leaving the couple to look at each other as the Queen paced the room like a tiger in a cage.

"Your sister?" Snow questioned. "But…but you're an only child!"

"Well apparently not!"

"Wait," David burst out. "The Wicked Witch told you this? What makes you think you can trust anything she says?"

"It's not what she said that proves it, it's what she did." She bit her tongue as she watched their interaction with Neal by her side. She was tired of the run around she was giving them, all she wanted was to just hear the story! But she was afraid if she opened her mouth she and Neal would be asked to leave. She didn't want that.

"Alright," David prodded, "what did she do?"

Regina stopped pacing and placed her hands on her hips as she stared at them, glared really. She didn't want to say it, she wasn't used to divulging precious secrets especially not to people she'd once considered enemies. But she understood, clearly, that she couldn't do that anymore. "Before the curse hit, I placed a blood lock on my parent's crypt. No one but me or one of my blood relatives should be able to break it…she did."

"How?" David asked.

"Because she's related! My sister! My mother, Cora, had her before I was born, before she was royalty. She sent her away to Oz!"

"And you're sure Cora never said anything about her?" David clarified.

Regina snorted at him, as if she was insulted at the very suggestion that she would ever forget such a thing. "I think I would remember if my mother ever told me she had a love child with a scarecrow."

"Regina this might come as a shock to you but sarcasm isn't going to help right now!" David shouted, finally losing his temper. "Think! Is there any reason, other than a bit of magic to prove that she's your sister?!"

"Why was she here? Regina, what did she want?!" Snow prodded further.

Regina's jaw tightened. "Everything!" she stated through a clenched jaw. "But she won't get it, she can't. Henry is safe in another realm and as long as he remains that way then she can't possibly win! I've gone up against worse than a magic diva with an unfortunate skin condition. She's just another witch-it's nothing to worry about," she assured them with anger in her voice. "If she shows her face again I'll take care of her!" and with that Regina made long heavy strides toward the door. She knew she meant to look confident, but it had the opposite effect. She was running.

"Regina, we're not done!"

"Enough with the Spanish inquisition!" she snapped at David.

"Regina wait," Snow tried in a gentler tone. "Where are you going?"

"Our things returned with us…there's something of my mother's I need to look at again," she explained leaving the room.

"Regina!"

"David!" Snow muttered placing a cooling hand on her husband's arm and stopping him before he could take off after Regina. "Maybe…maybe she needs a little time…and rest. We're all tired. It's been a long time since any of us had any real sleep. The witch is gone for now, the dwarves are keeping watch, let's get everyone to bed, let Regina have some space, and tomorrow we can talk about it again, once we're well rested and have our bearings back. It's been…it's been a very long day."

David glanced at her, then toward the door that Regina had left through. He stared at it with anger, almost willing her to come back and answer the questions he asked to satisfaction. But, after a moment of prolonged silence, he glanced back down at Snow White. "Alright!" he conceded. "We'll let her sleep on it, but we can't just let Regina run wild, not anymore, not like last time."

"She won't, David. I know she won't! We can do this. We can keep this together we just…we just need to take this one step at a time. We aren't the only ones who lost someone we loved this morning. Regina lost Henry and-"

Neal chose that precise moment to clear his throat loudly and as they turned to stare at the pair of them she felt something swell in her chest so big she worried her heart might explode on the spot. Sorrow. Anger. Pain.

They weren't the only ones to lose someone. They weren't the only ones to lose someone?! As far as she was concerned they hadn't truly lost anyone! She understood, she had sympathy for them, really she did! They'd lost Emma, Regina would never see Henry again…but at least they knew the pair of them were alive! At least they knew they were safe! And happy and healthy! But Rumple was…

She was alone.

She felt alone as her hand slipped from Neal's arm and she turned to leave the room, their horrified eyes and guilty faces too much for her to handle if she intended to keep her flicker of hope alive.

It wasn't her imagination, they'd forgotten she was there, and they knew it.

If she didn't get away from them, if something didn't change, with this empty feeling she felt from her soul…she might just forget she was there too.


	11. In the Dark of the Night

14 hours

"Hey!" Neal called, his voice echoing off the cold stone walls she was walking through. He'd stayed behind in that room when she'd left, though not for long. She'd only been wandering the halls a couple of minutes before she heard his footsteps jogging up behind her and his voice yelling for her to stop. But she didn't. And when he finally reached her, neither did he. He just matched her pace as they both wandered down the hall. Her stomach was a knot as she thought about what Snow had said, what she'd assumed, and it was a struggle not to cry again as she felt loneliness swell in her chest. It was a good thing this fire of hope she felt within her was only figurative, otherwise her tears alone certainly would have extinguished it by now.

"I could say they didn't mean it, but somehow I think that makes it worse," Neal finally muttered next to her, voicing her thoughts precisely. If she wasn't so close to tears she'd have been thrilled that he could read her mind like that, like his father…

"They just don't understand," she muttered instead.

"They don't know the difference," he corrected gently. "Everyone has been through something today, painful in it's own way. It's wrong to lump it all together and assume everyone hurts the same and can be dealt with the same, but...everyone has different responses to hurt. They're going to work though theirs that way, the way they know, and us...we... You know I don't even think _I_ really know the difference. He was my father but for you…if it wasn't for Emma…" Bae let out a defeated sigh as his voice trailed off. He didn't know what to say either.

He didn't know the difference, as he claimed, but at least he knew that, and sensed that the best way he could convey that was to not even bother to pretend like he understood. At least he understood that the right thing to say sometimes was nothing at all and not to assume that she hurt the exact same way Snow and David did or like he did. She didn't deny they were going through something, sending Emma and Henry away and coming back to the Enchanted Forest to face...well this! But that didn't mean they had to go on as if she was suffering the same way they were and then expect her to deal with it as gracefully as they were. They'd never had half their heart torn from their chest the way she had this morning! Rumple was the most profound connection she'd ever made in her entire life and he wasn't out living somewhere without her in another realm. He was...

"Whoa!" Neal's voice nearly made her jump as he grabbed her around her shoulders. Her heart pounded as she looked around her, anticipating an attack before she realized what had happened. She was pressed against Bae's side, her feet trying to get weight on them, after she'd nearly fallen over. Neal had caught her. For what seemed like the millionth time today he'd caught her again! And as grateful as she was she just didn't have the words to express it right now. "You're dead on your feet," he muttered righting her again and walking onward. "We all are. None of us really got any sleep last night with Pan and then today... Um…look, David said there were rooms upstairs we were welcome to use. We might have to share with others for a bit, depending on how many people come, but at least we can get some rest-"

"No," she insisted, stopping dead, realizing he'd led her toward a staircase. The sight of it was torture to her because she remembered the last time she'd been forced to climb a staircase in this castle, shackles on her wrists, a knife in her back…she remembered that she'd never come back down those stairs, merely been pulled from it by purple smoke and green lightning.

"Look I know it's not ideal but for the moment-"

"No," she refused again, "I don't want to stay here. Not here. I can't."

"Neither of us are happy about-"

"Bae I can't stay here!" she shouted pulling him to a stop doing her best to be absolutely clear. "I just…I can't. I won't."

He stared down at her for what felt like an entire minute. Looking first like he was frustrated with her again, but his look softened the more he stared.

"Look," he said scratching the back of his head and looking up and down the hall they were in. When he saw there wasn't anyone near them he took a step closer to her. "Look, I'm not happy about this situation either. Not just the situation with Emma and Henry but us having to be here. Between you and me I'd rather find Robin Hood and spend the night on horseback or in a tent than here-"

"Then let's go!" she practically begged. It sounded better to her too.

"-but it's not practical!" he finished. "You're tired, I'm tired, Robin is gone, and I've got no idea where in the hell we are!" he whispered harshly. "And David…David thinks that Emma and Henry being on their own is a good thing! I made a mistake asking them for help getting back, I should have kept it between us."

She watched him for a heartbeat. Translating what he was saying now and what he'd said about David earlier. She hadn't thought about it until now, how he'd said that David wouldn't let them leave, wouldn't let them go looking for Rumpelstiltskin. At the time she'd thought nothing of those words but now they had a feel to them that was too familiar to her. "Are we prisoners?" she asked, wondering how she'd gotten back to that…again!

Neal looked around again, before looking back at her. "Not yet," he whispered. "But they want us to leave Emma alone. Right now…right now I've got the feeling that they'll be keeping an eye on us. They've got a lot on their plate already and if this witch thing turns out to be anything I can't imagine they'll be too eager to bring the Dark One back into their lives."

She swallowed her tears back. He was right, they wouldn't. They'd barely blinked an eye when he'd died. He might have been good for them in that moment but in the long run…they'd never accept him as one of them. They couldn't even seem to accept her as one of them! He'd died and no one had come forward for her, no one had picked her up off that street, they'd just asked Regina if she was alright! After all that Rumple had done in his long life, how he'd toyed with them...she couldn't blame them for seeing his sacrifice as a good thing. They'd never want him back, no matter how his story had ended. There was no lock on the door, no guards, but she knew this feeling too well. Whether someone said it or not, she and Neal were as good as prisoners right now. It only made her want to leave more.

"What do we do?" she asked, hoping he had a plan of some kind, an idea. He'd known the last time, when they stood together in the woods only that morning!

Neal spread his arms wide and shrugged, looking disappointed and frustrated. "Go to bed." She let out a frustrated sigh and moved to turn away when he caught her shoulder. "No, I'm serious! They're not going to let us leave. What are we going to do half exhausted? Let's…let's just do as they say tonight, be on our best behavior for appearances, find a couple of rooms, and sleep. When we wake up then we can start to figure out the next step."

The next step. Another step they had to figure out. Their plan, their "goal" as Neal had called it just seemed to keep getting harder and harder, worse and longer every time she turned around! But she had to go along with it. For her there were two choices. Take the path that led back to Rumpelstiltskin, back to the Land Without Magic and a family. Or lay down, accept defeat, and die. She took a deep breath and looked Neal over, waiting patiently for her to answer him, to fold. He was Rumple's son. He was the only part of him she had left right now. He was the only one not looking at her like she was stricken with an unknown illness. Baelfire was all she had, a final gift from her beloved soul mate. She wasn't going to let him go through this alone.

She sighed, giving up. "Only until we can figure something else out."

"Yeah, trust me, the second we 'figure something else out' we're gone!" he promised, reaching out and giving her a little tap against her back to push her shaking legs forward up the stairs. There was an end to this. It wasn't forever. She was going to walk down these stairs again soon. With every step she repeated that knowledge over and over again. There was an end to this. It wasn't forever. She was going to walk down these stairs again soon. There was an end to this…

Neal led her up to floor after floor in the castle. It wasn't the area for private living quarters, it was more or less the guest area, reserved for those times that there would have been grand balls held here and the royal guests would have needed a place to stay. It was late. The sun had gone down hours ago, it was past midnight and for the most part the rooms were occupied. They went through floor after floor, hoping to find something close together, side by side, or maybe next to one another, but in the end the rooms just weren't available. So he finally decided on rooms. They'd be on the same floor, but he was across the hall and down two or three rooms. It wasn't perfect, but knowing where he was going to be was as good as it would get.

"I'll be just down the hall," Neal promised as he used a nearby torch from the hall to light the candles that were spread around the room he'd officially designated as "hers". It didn't feel like her room. Her room was warm and friendly, her room was worlds away…her home was dead.

"It's too big," she muttered looking around what she was sure would be seen by anyone as a lavish grand room. It even had a sitting room off to the side for goodness sake! But the room, the bed, it just felt too big for one person. She felt like nothing fit right. Or maybe it was just her that didn't fit right.

"Yeah, well it's not forever," Bae reminded her gently, finishing with a candelabra on the fireplace mantle. "Maybe tomorrow we'll get some wood, light a fire and give you some real light but this will do for now." Neal sighed as he glanced around the room once before looking at her sadly, awkwardly, like he didn't know what to do now.

"Look I won't ask if you'll be alright, but…but can you at least try to rest? Try to get some sleep?" He stared at her, his eyebrows raised, his eyes unyielding. That was a difference between father and son. He was sensitive, transparent. He didn't try and fix what was broken inside of her because he knew that it couldn't be fixed. Not until they really did get out of here. It should have made her want to cry but his eyes…his eyes were like his fathers. Gentle, reassuring. They kept her from feeling like all hope was lost.

"I'll do what I can," she promised with a nod of her head.

"Alright, I'll…I'll see you in the morning," he sighed, giving the room a final glance as if he'd forgotten to do something and would remember if he saw it. But finally he shook his head and strode out of the room. "Knock if you need something," he muttered politely before closing her door behind him.

The sound of the door knob falling into place seemed to echo off the walls. It was deafening. She was alone again.

"Keep moving," she whispered into the darkness. She had to keep moving. She couldn't depend on Neal to hold her up all the time, to do everything for her. Whether she wanted to or not, she had to function on her own again in some capacity. There were clothes in the closet. Not a lot, just enough that it looked as though it was a small collection of what people might have left behind over the years. But in the back she did find a cotton dressing gown.

It was uncomfortable, scratchy. It made her long for the days she had beautiful satin gowns to wear to bed. It made her miss the days she'd ignored those satin gowns for the pleasure of being skin to skin with him. She pulled her hair down and wished she had a bathroom and shower, a mirror, a toothbrush, and a toilet instead of a just a closet with a chamber pot an ivory colored bowl that she'd have to put water in tomorrow if she wanted to wash her face...

And then there was nothing left to do, but face the inanimate object that she felt was her mortal enemy. She turned toward the bed.

The bed that was too big.

The bed that had too many pillows for one person.

Too much space, too many blankets, too much comfort.

Her hands were shaking and tears were welling in her eyes as she reached forward and began to turn it down. She promised Bae she'd try. Not that she'd get a good night's sleep. Not that she'd enjoy the task. Not that she'd be happy about it. She just had to try. And she knew from experience that try was about as good as she would get. How long had they been together? How long since she'd been released from that tiny room of horrors? A couple of months. Not long at all. But she'd changed and gotten comfortable in those months. Lived with him, lived without him, lived with him again. Slept when he held her, tossed and turned when he didn't. When he was gone. Like now.

With a thick swallow she crawled into the soft bed and reclined. She let out a sigh. Not of relief, or relaxation, not even disappointment because she'd known what to expect. No, it was just…anguish. Pain. Laying there without him…it just felt wrong.

Suddenly she was glad Bae wasn't next door, that the walls were thick and her neighbors couldn't hear her. She could be strong for Bae, she could look confident and put together for the sake of others, but here by herself…she let her mask fall away and cried again. She hadn't planned on it, hadn't wanted to do it. If she wanted to do anything when she first laid down it would have been to roll over, face the wall, and ignore the empty half that belonged to someone that might not exist anymore. But now?

Who was she trying to impress, here? Alone? In this empty room?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow she'd have hope, tomorrow she'd put her thoughts into moving forward, tomorrow she'd be strong and confident and anything Neal needed her to be.

But not now.

Not tonight.

No matter what the future held…he was most certainly gone now. She could feel it.

So she didn't fight it. She rolled over and stared at the empty side of the bed. She felt the knife in her heart twist, let the missing part of her soul begin to bleed again, then buried her face in the pillow to scream and cry.

Tonight she mourned.


	12. The Limitations of True Love

3 Weeks, 2 Days

Getting to sleep was still difficult; it had been every night since she first arrived in the Enchanted Forest. More often than never she curled up in the too big bed, staring at the place that his body should have been, and cried until she fell asleep. It was a small consolation, but at least once she fell asleep, she found that she remained asleep throughout the night. Her sleep was dreamless and not once in the last two weeks had she woken in the night from any nightmares like she had in the past. It took her weeks to figure out why. She'd already lived through her worst nightmare. After the pain of losing him, nothing her imagination might come up with would ever compare to that.

Sleeping was easy. It was living that was difficult.

The castle had been in constant flux ever since the morning she'd woken up. When the curse had originally been cast it had destroyed everything! Buildings, towns, businesses, crops…everything was gone! And people crowded around the intact castle before pouring inside. The first week or so hadn't been so bad. The coming and going made it feel more like a hotel than the Evil Queens castle, her prison. They were crowded, rooms filled to capacity with people camped out in the ballroom, formal dining room, the drawing room, anywhere there was space. She, Ruby, and Granny all shared a room to make space for the others. It still wasn't enough. Finally, after another group consisting of twelve families arrived for shelter, the royal family had been forced to realize that their plan wasn't working. The entire Kingdom simply couldn't live in the Evil Queen's palace forever.

The Blue Fairy was called, a new plan was formed, and quickly put into place. The Blue Fairy spread dust on crop fields and in the woods, growing trees and food in the blink of an eye solving one of their biggest problems. Groups, entire towns and villages, were taken back to their homes, or what was left of them anyway. The royals escorted them, sometimes traveling for days on end to get there. Once they arrived every healthy body, regardless of age or gender, quickly worked to raise a barn or inn large enough to shelter the town. There was no magic involved, though many were tempted and demanded they use it, they wanted the villagers to work together again, to build the town up on their own. The royals evaluated each village they traveled to, appointed leaders, and worked with them to form a strategy to rebuild the town in their absence. It was all very…democratic, considering the Enchanted Forest was still filled with Kingdoms and Monarchs.

It was a busy time in the castle, each day seemed to drag on and on until she'd finally found something to fill up her time. When given the choice, she much preferred to spend her days alone, in one of the small sitting rooms, staring out the window. At first she'd gotten away with it. Snow and David, Granny, even Ruby seemed to shrink from her with unsure glances, as if the mere sight of her rendered them speechless because they were afraid the smallest of words might make her break. Her only visitor, the only person that didn't seem to mind spending time with her, knew the right things to say, was Neal. But after a while they both got pulled into the cause. David used Neal as an escort. Taking him out for days on end, to help put things right again. And she was given a solitary job, one that she would have scoffed at in her old life but was fond of and almost grateful for here. It began when Snow White tore her dress at dinner one night, when Roland gave her sleeve a tug that was a bit too strong. She didn't mind and Robin apologized profusely, but it was clear from the look on her face that she was disappointed.

"I, uh, I can fix that for you," she muttered to her afterward, trying to get her voice to be more than a whisper. Wishing her pain sometimes didn't come through quite so clearly in her tone.

"You can?" Snow asked hopefully, looking her over like she was a saint for once instead of a porcelain doll. She managed a smirk as she stepped forward and picked at the torn sleeve, examining it under careful eyes before Lacey finally came to a happy conclusion.

"Simple tear. A few pins, needle and thread, barely an hour sewing. I can fix it," she concluded. Snow stared at her, fascinated and curious. "Lacey," she muttered, one word all she needed for the explanation. "I might not have cared for her fashion sense but I can still make anything from scratch...or fix it."

That was all it had taken. That evening Snow's dress, pins, needles, and thread had been delivered to her door and she'd finished the small task before she had to put more logs on the fire. The next morning, Snow, looking happy that she might have finally found something "safe" to discuss with her, had shown her into a room with row after row of sewing machine and more fabric than Lacey could ever have imagined. The room had obviously been used by servants once upon a time, dressmakers for the royal family had once sat at each and every one of these machines toiling away, but for now, she was happy to drag one of the ancient foot pedal machines up into the room she was using, fabric, paper to draw on, a measuring tape, and ink and a quill. She made clothes for anyone that requested them. Dresses for women, slacks for men, comfortable clothes small children could grow into for years. It wasn't much, but it gave her something to do to pass the time every day she waited for Neal to return to the castle with David. And the others seemed happy that there was at least something they could talk about with her once more.

They didn't know who she was, what she was or had been at least before she'd come to this place, before the curse was cast, before Rumpelstiltskin came into her life. And frankly, she wasn't exactly itching to tell them about her lineage. Ruby knew. She knew that Ruby had known ever since that night after the mine accident. And some nights when she took things to David and Snows room, David cast her a glance that made her think Ruby might have told him who exactly she was, but...did it matter if they knew? Really? Would the rest of them have even heard of her? She'd heard of them but they'd never actually met one another! And besides, someone of her title, her blood, delivering clothes into their rooms didn't make her feel like who she'd been. It didn't matter, not anymore. This life...it was what it was. It wasn't happiness, but it was living. For now getting by was the best she felt she could do.

"They're back!" the cries reached her from inside the deep closet she'd placed herself in to return a dress to Snow White, who was "out" with her husband and Neal on yet another trip to a village. Though apparently they weren't anymore. The people they had staying with them, the hundreds of people currently living in the castle that lurked around every corner, were at least good for letting her know when Neal returned. "They're back!" was the message that seemed to spread through the halls like wildfire until it grew into a chant and cheer that seemed a little ridiculous even for her! Did people really hold royalty in esteem like this? Or was it just Snow White and her Prince?

Nevertheless the cry always let her know that Neal had returned and while she had a hard time feeling any kind of excitement or happiness anymore, Neal at least made her feel like she had a friend again. So she finished putting the dresses away and followed the wave of a crowd through the castle down into the entry way. People parted for her, seeming to understand that somehow she wasn't quite like them, she wasn't just there because she needed shelter but rather was a different type of guest. Usually she caught Neal's eye quickly, he dismissed himself from the group, and wandered away with her so they could talk or even just sit for a while in private. But this time...

Her stomach sank the moment that she saw them walking through the crowds in their own castle. Something was wrong. She knew it instantly. The King and Queen were smiling, reaching out to greet those who welcomed them back, Regina stood tall, walked with pride trying to put feeling in her face just as she had since they got there, though she supposed there was a little more fire in her eyes than there was before, but Neal was a dead giveaway. He hung back, shuffled awkwardly, his head hanging as he casually observed the royals moving through the crowds. He didn't look happy to be back, he didn't disappear like he normally did to find her immediately, he stuck with them as if he was waiting for the people to disperse so they could talk again. What now?

She moved around the crowd, fought the press of grateful citizens and finally wrapped her hands around Neal's elbow as if he was the lifesaver in the midst of a churning ocean. His arm instantly tensed, acknowledging her presence, and keeping her close as they moved around people, fought against the current this time. They weren't aimlessly greeting guests, they were trying to get somewhere and Neal was taking her along. That didn't entirely surprise her. Ever since they'd arrived, so long as Neal was in the castle, he was usually with her.

It got easier to move as they walked away from the entry, up the stairs, through hallways, up more and more stairs, until she clutched Neal's arm as tight as possible because she feared they were going back to the top of her terrible tower but she was wrong. It was a circular room in a different tower that looked out over the land around them. She imagined that it was where Regina might have happily watched the curse take the realm apart, but now…now she was anything but happy.

"I'm going to find that green little witch and enjoy taking her apart piece by piece!" she raged as the door thudded behind them and the world was shut out. That was why they were here! The people were floors below but they were convening in secret because there was a problem, that much was clear the moment the doors closed and the façades on their faces dropped away.

"We have to find her first to do that!" David corrected.

"We have to protect the people before we do anything else," Snow corrected them both. "Regina, do you have any ideas?"

"I can't protect every town, every village we try to establish! My power isn't that strong!"

"How about the spell Zelena used over the castle?" David questioned. "The protection spell. Did she use her power for that? Can't we just set one of those up in the towns?"

"Are you kidding?!" she snapped turning on the King, her temper flaring. "No! What are you brainless?! It would trap the citizens just as much as it would protect them! Or have to be reset every night! I don't have the energy to just jump from town to town night after night, not without Henry!"

She felt like they were right back to where they'd started on the first night back, the royals arguing, trying to calm Regina, as she and Neal watched from the sidelines, forgotten. Neal had a tendency to do that. Quietly observe from the side, let the others forget he was there. but she didn't want that to happen again. Neal had been with them, he already knew what they were talking about! She was catching bits and pieces of what was happening, but she wanted more. She wanted to understand completely what had happened!

"What, uh, what happened?" she asked timidly from their corner, making Snow and David turn back to them as Regina continued to seethe. Maybe a little bit of quiet time would do Regina some good.

"Zelena is going after the towns we're helping," Neal answered quietly beside her.

Her jaw dropped. "What?!" "going after" as in "attacking"? That seemed low even for a Wicked Witch! Had they underestimated her?

"When we went through the town we'd put together last week it was in shambles. Lots of smoke and fire, lots of stray monkey feathers…lots of missing people," David sighed.

"Missing people? They were gone?"

"All of them, men, women, and children," he commented. "We convinced the people we were escorting that it was a mistake, that it was one of the towns we hadn't gotten around to yet, and took them back to their home but we investigated on the way back."

"And you're certain it's Zelena?" she questioned.

"Well there was a dead monkey with wings laying in the street. Arrow to the chest, probably the town's people fought back."

"So where are they now?"

"I can answer that!" they all jumped and turned toward a shadow they'd neglected. She hid herself well in the darkness, dressed in black as she was. The Wicked Witch, green flesh and all, Regina's sister…Zelena. Her grip on Neal's arm tightened and he took a small step forward, ready to protectively place himself between her and Zelena if need be while Snow reached back, removed an arrow and thread it against her bow.

"Oh, please, there's really no need for that," the witch drawled emerging from the shadows in a motion that was almost fluid. That would have been ironic, knowing how the stories she'd read told her she was supposed to die, if she hadn't been so shocked. What was this? "My scouts informed me that you discovered my little…shall we call it a gift!" She spoke sweetly, as though she'd known them all their entire lives and was perfectly comfortable with them. It made her stomach roll over again and again with every syllable.

There was a sound of metal as David unsheathed his sword and pointed it at the witch. "What did you do to them?"

Her eyes examined the Prince and his sword with a small smirk tugging at the corner of her lips as she helped herself to a bowl of grapes sitting on a table as if this entire conversation was beneath her. Or worse. It was as if she had complete control of this conversation and enjoyed watching them squirm. And the worst thing of all was that from her point of view, she was the one in complete control.

"Now, now, don't worry, they're all perfectly safe," she encouraged almost reassuringly as she approached the stunned group, her black dress swaying with every step, "for now. They're a little worse for wear but all still intact. And, just to be friendly, I'll return them to where I found them just as soon as we've come to an agreement."

"An agreement?" Snow questioned.

"You've been tracking me of course!" she piqued. "Did you think I wouldn't know? Not that it's too much of a problem, it's more like an irritating fly that just doesn't go away. Almost as irritating as losing an entire village when your back was turned. Now I believe you know what that feels like." That smile. She hated that little wicked smile that curled on her lips as she challenged them.

"What do you want?" Snow asked.

"No!" Regina shouted, "don't play into her!"

"Oh, but don't you see dear sister!" she said rounding on her. "You've been playing into my game the moment you set foot back in this realm. You all have. Though I did expect more from the pair of you!" she turned on her and Neal, meeting their eyes so suddenly she gasped at the shock. This was one instance she would have rather remained invisible. "I would have thought you'd do more what with the Dark One dead. Disappointing really. But," she sighed, "who am I to write the limitations on just how far true love goes. Am I right dear?"

"Stay away from her" Neal muttered firmly stepping in front of her, just as she thought he'd planned to all along, but suddenly she felt like it was Neal protecting the witch from her because she wanted to reach forward and claw at her for the comment she'd just made. There were no limitations to true love, certainly not the love they shared. And she would have gone off by now and figured out a way to bring Rumple back, to summon, or resurrect him if only she'd had the chance.

"Well, you've got a lot more nerve than I would have guessed," the witch snapped at Neal, looking him over almost angrily. "Not surprising though, loss makes everyone do stupid things. Though there is a bit of irony that goes with the Dark One's son losing his own son. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree I suppose." Neal took a step toward her as his hand went to his sword but she quickly grabbed his arm, pulling him back. The last thing she needed was to lose him in all this as well.

"Oh!" the witch gave a false gasp and covered her "O" shaped mouth with her hand. But as she pulled it away she could see a smile breaking over her face as she looked proudly at them. "Did I say something I shouldn't?"

"Enough!" the Evil Queen suddenly snapped and she glanced over just in time to see a ball of fire form on her hand. She pulled Neal away quickly, out of the line of fire, but as the witch turned to face Regina she saw that there was no use. No spells were thrown. Instead the fire in her hand disappeared into a cloud of green smoke, as if it had just evaporated.

"That'll get you nowhere dear, weren't you listening before? You and I had the same teacher. Everything Rumpelstiltskin taught you he taught me as well, only I was the better student, smarter, faster. I can take anything you throw at me!" she snarled through clenched teeth. Her jaw dropped at the revelation. Rumple had known Zelena?! He'd neglected to mention that to her! But then again she'd never asked and he never was very keen on answering questions she never asked…one of his greatest flaws. But Regina knew this too? She hadn't mentioned it either! They were supposed to all be in this together…weren't they?

"Then throw something!" Regina growled back at her.

"Too soon," Zelena commented, her voice returning to that sweet octave that made her feel sick because it hid her sour soul so poorly. "Besides, that's not why I'm here!"

"Then why are you here, Zelena?" Snow shouted, suddenly finding her footing and drawing her arrow back again. "What do you want from us?"

"Nothing you can offer…at least not yet," Zelena responded rounding on her before eyeing Charming and his flourished sword suspiciously. "Though I might be able to find some use for you after all. I can see why you fell for him. Courage like his is terribly attractive."

"Why are you here?!" Regina questioned loudly, with enough intensity to cut through the act Zelena was putting on for them. Enough was enough. She didn't know what was going on but she knew when someone was trying to distract another person from a certain conversation because Rumple was so good at it! She'd had enough though and so had everyone else in the room.

"I'm here to negotiate. I'm here to get you to stop sending strangers to do your job!" Zelena snarled at Regina, her sickly sweet attitude falling prey to what was really boiling deep down inside of her. Rotted hate. "If you want to find me Regina then come and find me but don't send your pet guards to do your job!"

"If you're so eager to get caught, why not just turn yourself in?" Regina responded stepping closer to her, the Evil Queen obviously not taking well to the idea of being threatened instead of doing the threatening for once.

"Now where would the fun be in that?" she questioned. Suddenly Zelena threw her arm out, Belle grabbed for Neal, Neal moved to block her, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Snow and David step forward into the threat…only it wasn't a threat. From against the shadowed wall Zelena had first appeared a broom blew into her outstretched hand. She grasped it tight and stepped confidently away from the group toward the large window she'd seen earlier only to discover it wasn't a window, simply a very large opening!

"Withdraw your guards and stay out of my way. Do it by next week and I'll return the citizens to your village, refuse and…well, I don't expect the two of you will refuse, you just don't seem the type. Better than doing nothing at all!" she spat casting her and Neal a furious glare. "And as for you Regina, if you want me…come and get me!" with that she gave a final cackling laugh, sat down on the broom she'd summoned to her side, and flew out the window so fast she blurred, leaving them all behind.


	13. Hatred, Trust, and Dependancy

1 Month, 6 Days

Zelena was a problem. A serious problem that Regina wanted badly to eliminate with every ounce of her strength. But not at the cost of innocent lives. And as much as Snow and David hated to give into her threat, neither of them wanted to play around with the number of lives that Zelena had taken from them. So, reluctantly, they did as Zelena had requested. It was good timing, the night of a full moon, and before the sun had even set they'd sent Ruby out into the woods to find the guards that had been tracking Zelena down to tell them they were ordered to retreat. They returned only a few days later and the next week, when they took the next group back to their village, they were happy to report that Zelena had kept her promise and the people had reappeared. The village was still worse for wear but the people were strong. There was barely a mark on any of them and to top it all off none of them seemed to have any memory of being anywhere other than the village!

Snow and David considered it a blessing, Regina was disappointed. She took her sisters comment seriously, the one she'd made about coming to find her, and suddenly instead of going on the outings with the royalty, they'd find that she disappeared from the castle at odd hours for days on end looking, searching, combing the lands for Zelena, but it was apparent to all of them that Zelena didn't want to be found. Her magic was strong, maybe too strong for Regina, and hunting for her became the Evil Queen's new obsession.

A month later things appeared to be getting better. Robin Hood and his gang of merry men replaced Regina when they went on their "outings", Zelena wasn't caught yet, but the royals considered the problem "under control" as Regina searched for her. And the castle really began to finally clear out. Granny and Ruby left with others from their former village, showing their support for the plan the royals had put together. They weren't far, it was only a couple hours on horseback…but she didn't feel compelled to visit at the moment. Ruby continued to look at her timidly. She knew Granny had told her what happened that day, with Peter Pan and Rumple at the town line, and now every time she saw her she wore a look that told her that she still didn't know what to say to her in the wake of Rumpelstiltskin's death. And she wasn't the only one. Everyone looked at her that way. Even the few that she'd once recognized in town for giving her disgusting looks now looked at her with sympathy and guilt. Not enough sympathy. Too much guilt. Neal helped, provided all the company and support she needed, but not even he could wipe the memories, the looks, or even the words from her mind.

Zelena's words...day after day they seemed to taunt her, rot her brain, make her seethe the more and more she thought of them. The limitations of true love? True love had no limits. None. Was she suggesting that just because she hadn't gone after him yet, hadn't found a way to summon him back to her side that she assumed it did because it simply wasn't true! She hadn't done anything yet because…because…

She knew the lines. The words. She hadn't done it yet because the time wasn't right. She hadn't done it yet because she didn't have the strength, the support, because Neal was gone, because no one was helping, there were a million reasons that she'd convinced herself of…before. But now...now she wondered if they were simply excuses. Should she have just gone? Left on her own?

No. It wasn't her, it wasn't them. She talked to the only person that she felt she could talk to about what the witch had said, the one person she did feel support from. Neal.

He always came back. No matter where they'd been, what they'd done, what had happened…he always came back to her.

He always came to find her first thing, peeked his head in on her as his eyes swept the room, making sure they were alone before he came into the room saying "Hey!" ready to talk sense into her until she believed it again as fervently as he did. No, it wasn't just her feeling trapped and angry at Zelena's words. He did as well. Especially after she'd pushed him when it came to Henry. But sometimes excuses could be facts and all the reasons she'd listed in her mind for why they hadn't done anything yet weighed heavy on them both, but that didn't mean they weren't legitimate.

So, no, they hadn't forgotten their goal. They hadn't not been planning, they were just taking things one step at a time. And since they had first set foot in this castle determined to leave it one day they had stumbled upon two problems. The first was that neither of them knew where Rumpelstiltskin's castle was from here. The second was that everyone was so determined to keep them from going to Rumple's castle, they did everything they could to keep them from learning where the castle was…they kept the pair of them under closer surveillance, just as Neal had feared the first day. Surprising. With a witch on the lose it would seem they had other things to worry about.

But she and Neal were determined and they didn't let their blockade stop them from trying. The trips away from the castle gave Neal a chance to look for something familiar, a landmark, a building, anything that could lead him there! According to him it hadn't been long since he'd been here with Philip and Aurora, searching for a way to Neverland but as he constantly reminded her, he'd turned up in a different Kingdom and had a willing guide. But without a guide, without someone to lead them...it had been hundreds of years since he had lived here as a boy. The land had changed. Monarchies had fallen and risen in his absence. Kingdoms once known for mines were now famous for livestock. It was hard for him to get his bearings.

She didn't fare much better. Her job was to try and get verbal information, anything that she could out of the people that were left. But it was like a conspiracy that she and Bae were not allowed in on and every time she tried it wasn't long before someone caught on, gave her that guilty look again, and refused to continue the conversation. She could only imagine what Snow White and Charming had told everyone. So she tried talking to those directly responsible, hoping to get something useful! One week when Neal had left for another week with David and Robin Hood she'd created a dress for the request of Snow White and taken it to her.

"It's beautiful!" Snow had beamed looking at herself in the mirror. "I didn't know you had a knack for these things."

"It's Lacey's knack," she informed her, Lacey's eyes naturally evaluating length and stitching while she was plotting the change of conversation. "I'm just happy to exploit it. Can you stand on something? I need to pin this to hem it." She'd found a stool and raised herself up a few inches, enough for her to kneel and pin. "How long until David and the others get back?" she'd asked.

"A few more days," she answered doing her best to hold still. "But this should be one of the last visits. Hard to imagine how fast it's gone, getting things back together. It's amazing what a little good heathy motivation can do for a group of people."

She'd nodded, her mouth going dry the closer that she got to the question. Yes, it was amazing. "They certainly dressed for a long trip," she went on. "Mountains?"

Snow nodded. "David hates the terrain and it's only worse with winter weather moving in. But at least Zelena has kept good on her word. She hasn't gone near the villages since we pulled the guards off tracking her. Hopefully Regina will find her soon."

Mountains. Rumple's castle was in the mountains. There were mountains a few days away then. Was that the trip they needed to make, the mountains they had to go to? She just couldn't be sure until she and Neal searched them and in order to search them they had to know how to get there. She'd done her best to make it seem like small talk. She nodded her head absent-mindedly, paid too much attention to the dress, even stood and circled the monarch doing her best to seem uninterested as she asked "Were they going North or South this time?"

But she knew the instant Snow White looked at her that she hadn't been successful. It was the comments on Zelena. Going back to the mountains after that was a bad idea, suspicious. She'd been caught again.

"Belle...I know things must seem bleak right now," she'd said, "but going to that castle isn't going to help you or Emma or any of us. I know it's hard, but…we have to move on," Snow sighed looking determined in the mirror and painting a false smile on her face. "It's what's best for everyone."

They'd conducted the rest of that fitting in silence, the entire time she'd needed every ounce of strength that she had left not to open her mouth and inform her that she was wrong. She didn't know what was best for everyone because the Queen didn't know anything about what she was going through. She couldn't move on, she couldn't pretend things were as good as they could possibly get like Snow and David did. They'd both lost someone it was true, but they'd both experienced two different kinds of loss and she wished that it wasn't just Neal that understood that. And she wished that there was someone around that understood that what Snow and David believed was best for Emma wasn't best for everyone! If it was best, she imagined that it wouldn't feel...like this.

Snow had been right about one thing though, one that she couldn't deny. The Kingdom was beginning to put itself back together. The castle was empty again and now she and Neal could have all the privacy and time together they desired, but Neal was hardly ever around. When David had stopped going out Neal had started leaving on trips with Robin Hood. "Hunting Trips" he told her, "they're just one more excuse to get out and figure out where the hell we are!" The frustration was clear in his voice. But she felt plenty of frustration every time he left her alone. She felt like they were getting nowhere and she was sick of the castle! She felt like it was pressing against her, threatening to crush her bones and destroy her. She couldn't take it.

"I hate it here," she said to him, that morning as he explained he was going to leave again. She'd never hated anything or anyone in her life…but she hated this castle. She hated being alone in it. She hated being surrounded by too many people in it. She hated the way people looked at her, the way she knew they were plotting and talking about her and Neal when their backs were turned. She hated the feeling of incompleteness that she'd had ever since the day Rumple had gone away from her. She hated the bed she slept in. She hated these walls, the fireplace, this room! She hated feeling like she was a prisoner.

She hated feeling hate.

"Everyone looks at me...all the time," she informed Neal as he strut about his own room gathering a bow and arrows, leather vest, sturdy shirt. She didn't want him to go, but she didn't want to beg either. He'd made adjustments in his life to accommodate her, it felt selfish to want more. But she did. "They all stare at me…all the time…like I'm some kind of-"

"It's not you!" he insisted, for what seemed liked the millionth time since they'd arrived. They'd had this conversation too many times to count. "It's them," he muttered, lowering his voice and glancing at the door as if he was afraid someone would hear her. "They just don't know what to say. Look, right now…right now they look at you and they're happy it wasn't them, then they feel guilty for thinking something that happy about something so…they just…it's not you," he concluded, glancing over his shoulder at her in the mirror as he pulled his gloves on. She believed him. She trusted him, it just…it just didn't make the brutal guilt ridden looks go away, or her distaste for the castle, or the heartbreak, or the loneliness, or the feeling that they were getting nowhere fast!

"Baelfire!" they both glanced over at the door to see Robin Hood lean over the threshold, "are you coming or did you…" he stopped the second he saw her sitting in the armchair by the corner. She did her best to wipe her eyes quickly but it was too late. He'd seen her tears and he was already giving her _that _look again.

She hated that look too.

"Can I get a minute?" he asked Robin Hood, mercifully pulling his stare away from her.

Robin Hood nodded. "We'll wait for you in the stables," he promised before shutting the door behind him and leaving them in private.

"Someday I'm gonna get him to call me Neal like everyone else," Neal muttered as he left.

She only sank deeper into her chair wishing it could swallow her whole so she didn't have to see a look like that ever again. "I hate it here," she whispered again when it was just the two of them again. Neal sighed and turned to look at her this time, not through the mirror or over his shoulder, dead in the eye. He stepped forward and perched himself on the ottoman in front of her then took her hands in his own. It was a rare tender and caring gesture, it reminded her of Rumple of his hands and instantly calmed her repelling every look that she'd had since they started living here in the castle. Whether or not they understood didn't matter, Neal did. He'd kept his promise, he'd stayed with her, included her in his life as if they were family ever since that moment at the town line. To say she was grateful for him...that just didn't quite cover it. Though, sometimes, she hated feeling like she burdened him as though she was a bedridden invalid. Or worse, she didn't want him to feel as though his father had left him burdened with her.

"Do you trust me?" he asked looking her over. She didn't know why he was asking this, didn't know why he wanted to know about trust all of a sudden but she knew that his eyes were begging her to say that she did. The silent pleas were useless. She couldn't deny the only truth that she had in her life.

"Of course I do, Neal, I just-"

"Then I need for you to hold on to that for just a little longer. I know you don't like it here and I'm doing everything I can to get us outta here," he assured her, "I just…I just need a little more time." Her heart fell as she looked at him. He looked sad, torn and guilty. She was being silly, childish. She knew Neal was working hard, just like she'd been! It wasn't their fault that they weren't getting anywhere, it was everyone else that was keeping things from them. They had to stick together, they couldn't let the others stop them now.

"Where do you go all the time?" she asked gently, changing the subject away from the castle. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad if she could just go with him once.

"I'm…I'm looking for something. Something I think is close by and can help us out of this place. Robin Hood and his men are helping me scout out the land." The second part she knew. The first part was new though. He wanted her to trust him? He was looking for something? Not the castle? Something specific? Or did he just mean he was looking for something familiar? No. It was something specific. He had a plan of some kind! Another plan! I'd added a step in their own somewhere along the line, it was just strange that he hadn't told her about it until now.

"What are you looking for?" she asked, looking him over with curiosity.

"I'll know it when I find it," he answered mysteriously, sounding too much like his father for comfort.

"What if you don't?" she questioned

"I will," he insisted confidently. They looked at each other for a long time. Enough time for her to recognize the same confidence that Rumpelstiltskin had before he accomplished something. Neal would find what he was looking for and she had to trust for now that he'd let her know what it was when he found it. They were in this together, they both knew that. Finally she nodded, giving her silent acceptance of the little that he'd given her. She could do this. As long as he kept coming back, she could do this. She hated being dependent on one person, but fragile as she felt she was if Neal was what was keeping her alive and giving her a reason to hope, so long as he continued to act as though he didn't mind, then she'd continue to cling to him. After everything she'd lived through in her life, not just the last couple of months, maybe she deserved to cling a little.

"I'll be back later," he promised like always, securing a cloak over himself.

"Come find me when you do…please."

"I know. I will," he nodded. "Promise." She offered a small smile. She didn't need trust for that promise. He'd fulfilled it every other time he'd left. He'd fulfill it again. She knew that.

"And please be careful!"

"Don't worry," he insisted in a stiff voice, the tone that told her she'd taken a step too far and mothered him again. She couldn't help it sometimes. It just happened. But she felt like he was noticing it less and less. If he noticed it the way she did he didn't point it out nearly as much as he had in the beginning. And the times that he did point it out, she felt herself feeling less and less guilty about it. She liked caring for Neal. It let her feel something. Helped her feel like she wasn't the only one dependent in their relationship. He had need of her too...whether he liked it, whether he knew it or not. And secretly she suspected he didn't mind nearly as much as he pretended to.

"I'll be back before dark," he promised, his tone gentle again. "You can save me a spot at dinner…count on it."

It wasn't hard. She counted on him more than anything else in this realm.


	14. The Line in the Sand

1 Month, 2 Weeks, 1 Day

He always came back in time for dinner. Each and every time. Sometimes by hours, sometimes by minutes, once by seconds! So when she finished dressing for dinner and went down the hall to find him in his room she was shocked to discover he wasn't there. At first it was fine. There was still time left. But as that time wore down she paced in the hallway, knowing she'd have to go down soon and he was cutting it too close for them to talk about whether or not he'd found anything this time around or even just whatever he was "looking for" while he was gone because she'd gotten nowhere talking to a couple of dwarves this afternoon. Finally, she heard footsteps on the stone stairs leading up to their hallway, she automatically stopped, held her breath and waited to see him, hoping to get a few short seconds of discussion in before they'd be late only-

It wasn't Neal. Only Robin Hood. "Belle! I was just about to find you!" her heart raced. Neal wasn't here but Robin Hood was? He was going to find her? It was bad news, what else would it be?

"Neal, is he-"

"He's fine," Robin assured her, holding up a hand and offering her a smile. "He sent me back with a message for you not to worry. He promised he wouldn't be far behind me, but he would be late to dinner." That didn't settle her nerves. Why would he be late? Why hadn't he come home with Robin Hood like always?

"Is…is he alright?"

"Perfectly fine. He had some business to attend to but I promise he won't be long now."

"What is he doing?" They were hunting! At least that was the cover Neal was using to look for something! What business could he have?

Robin sighed and did an awkward shuffle before her. "It's not my place to say. Baelfire wanted to tell you himself, but…I think you'll find his absence worth it. I hope you don't mind but in confidence he shared some of your struggles with me, I wanted to apologize. If I've ever contributed to your unhappiness or made you feel uncomfortable, you have my sincerest apology. I promise it was never my intention to-"

"It's fine," she quickly dismissed. It was more than fine. Neal told him what was wrong, what was happening with her. She knew Neal, she knew that he wouldn't have told anyone that he didn't trust. It was shocking, but his apology…it was nice. Someone more than Neal understood if only superficially and the acknowledgement alone felt good. But…something was still wrong. Those words should have toppled her over but they couldn't because there was another feeling growing in the pit of her stomach after what he'd said about Neal.

She felt a small twinge of something in her stomach at those words. Worry? Yes, she definitely felt worry but she didn't think that was what that was. Jealousy? Possibly, maybe a little. But while she and Neal had a lot of interaction for the last few months she wouldn't say that they were joined at the hip. No, she didn't like Robin Hood knowing something she didn't but she didn't feel any animosity toward him for it. Nerves? Yes. That was it. She felt nervous. It wasn't so much that Robin Hood knew and she didn't that bothered her as much as knowing that there was something going on that she didn't know about! The last time that had happened Rumple had-

"I'm grateful for the pardon. In Baelfire's absence may I escort you to dinner?" Robin Hood asked, making her suddenly aware that she was still standing there, glassy-eyed, trying to figure out what was happening. "We may as well eat while we await his return," she felt herself nod at his logic and take the arm he offered as they walked down the stairs together for the dining room.

She imagined that if this had happened a month or so ago, when there were dozens of people sitting at this table no one would have noticed that she walked in with Robin Hood and sat down next to him tonight instead of Neal. As it was there were barely ten people eating with them tonight, including the special visit that Ruby and Granny were paying and she caught David's face register the change right away.

"Where's Neal?" he asked the pair of them.

"Otherwise engaged," Robin informed him, pulling a chair out for her in a gentlemanly manner that Neal never bothered with and only made her feel more awkward. "He's assured me he'll be with us shortly."

"What do you mean otherwise engaged?" he questioned further. "Engaged with what? Where did he go?" Where did he go? Suddenly a new panic sprung into her mind, something she hadn't thought about before. David was worried that Neal had slipped his leash. That he'd taken advantage of Robin Hood…that he'd left for Rumple's castle! But…but Neal wouldn't do that would he? He wouldn't have found what he was looking for and just leave her here alone would he?

No. No he wouldn't. She trusted Neal. He wouldn't just leave her here with the hope that he'd be back soon. If that was the case he would have found a way to come back for her or slipped Robin a note or sent her a secret message, something! She knew it. She had to remember that.

"He'll be back before night falls," Robin Hood assured the table. Still she could see in David's eyes that he was unsure, nervous, only seconds away from standing and demanding an answer from Robin Hood so that he could be sure Neal hadn't gone away! She understood that he thought he was protecting his daughter, that he thought what Neal, and herself for that matter, was planning was something to be stopped at all costs in order to give his daughter her best chance of normalcy…but she hated the way that he continued to eye them with suspicion nearly two months after their arrival.

"David," Snow reached out and laid a hand on her husband's arm, his face changed almost instantly. He calmed, softened even and she had to look away because it was a reminder of the times that she'd had that very same power over someone, the ability to calm with a touch and a word. "Don't panic for nothing. Give him a chance, have a little faith, he'll be back…" Snow offered her a quick sympathetic glance before she intelligently turned the conversation away from Neal to the topics they seemed to discuss every night. The towns and villages, the Kingdom, whether or not Zelena's continued silence meant she no longer posed a threat.

She was grateful, truly she was for Snow providing the little distraction she could with David, but it all seemed pointless to her as she sat there, terrible thoughts running through her mind all through dinner. On and on the circle went. The towns and villages were doing fine. Pointless conversation. The Kingdom was rebuilding. No Neal. No one believed Zelena got her reputation for nothing. Unimportant words. Maybe her silence was the threat. No Neal. It was impossible to expect a woman like that to change and just remain quiet. Tasteless food. Back to the local village Ruby and Granny were in. No Neal. On and on like unrelenting torture. No-

A movement by the door caught her eye. No. No movement. The door hadn't opened. She was just too on edge too on alert and only thought-

No! She wasn't wrong the door had opened, but only by inches. And there, peeking his head through, not enough for anyone to notice except her, was Neal!

She fought back a happy gasp and smile when she saw him in favor of the small motion his hand gave her to leave the room. He wanted to talk. Now, not later. Her heart raced and she glanced at her uneaten food, then around the table at the eyes not bothering to notice her or Neal at the door. With a deep breath and trying not to act too suspicious or attract attention, she wiped her mouth with a napkin, grabbed her goblet and got up, she walked over to the table that held the wine and made herself busy by pouring some into her goblet. When she looked over her shoulder, she found no one was watching her yet again. So she left her goblet there, and walked over to the door.

Neal opened it just enough to allow her to leave, then held a finger to his lips, telling her to be quiet, as he expertly shut it so quietly if he hadn't stepped away she would never have known that he succeeded. "Where were you?" she demanded with a hiss as they moved away from the doors. "Why didn't you come back? I was worried!"

Neal opened his mouth and the look on his face was enough to make her stop questioning him. There was something he wanted to tell her. Good news or bad news? She wasn't sure she could deal with more bad news…

"Neal?"

"Do you want to go?" he asked suddenly, his voice a whisper as he glanced at the closed door a few feet away as if he was worried they'd be caught or hear their conversation.

"Go?" she questioned making sure she'd heard him right. Trying to understand what he meant!

"Do you still want to leave? Not live in the castle?" Neal asked quickly, looking more and more tense by the second. Leave. He wanted to leave. To take her with him! Finally!

"More than anything!"

"Then let's go!"

"You…you found the castle?" she assumed, sensing her excitement grow as her eyes grew wide. "You know where it is?"

"No, not that," he shook his head and lowered his voice again, still looking away nervously. "But there's a place we can stay. I finally found it. And if you want to go-"

"Neal!" they both jumped and her heart sank as she saw Snow White standing at the door staring at them. They hadn't been quiet enough, or fast enough, or…what did it matter? They'd been caught. And, drawn by the name she assumed, it only took a heartbeat or too before David joined them. "Sorry to interrupt," Snow said, looking suspiciously between the two of them, "I saw you were missing and came to check on you," she explained glancing at her before turning her interested stare to Neal. "When did you get back? We were worried."

It was hard to be upset with Snow White when she could see that she wasn't lying. She was genuinely interested about where Neal had been, genuinely worried. But it was what had her so worried that made her uneasy. And it was the way David seemed to hold his breath waiting for an answer that made her want to finally tell them that where he'd been wasn't their concern! In fact, neither of them were their concern! This was getting ridiculous!

"We're leaving," she stated. The words popped out of her mouth so fast she was surprised when she realized that she'd said it and not Neal!

"Leaving?" Snow questioned looking between them. "Leaving for where?"

"The woods," Neal answered for her, "not far from here. There's a house there, intact. It's closer than their place," he stated pointing to Ruby and Granny. Now she could see. Behind David and Snow, nearly everyone that had been at the table was up and watching the interaction now.

"A house?" David responded looking like he was fearfully fighting back a look of anger. "Intact or not, a house isn't necessarily safe-"

"This one is-"

"You can't be sure of that!"

"Yeah, actually I can," Neal fought without a beat of hesitation. The two men stared at each other, daring the other to blink first to submit, to roll over. Neither did. The tension in the air seemed to sizzle.

"I have seen the place for myself," Robin Hood suddenly spoke up from somewhere behind David. "Its survival is quite impressive…enough to convince me of its security."

"What kind of 'protection' does it have on?"

"Don't worry about it," Neal responded quickly.

"I'm trying to keep this Kingdom safe. There is a witch on the lose-"

"And we'll be safer there than we are here!" he argued, their voices rising. The pressure between the two had been building ever since they got here. She couldn't be surprised by his outburst. "It's Regina Zelena's after, not us! And don't try to pretend like you have the problem under control right now! You don't even know where she is! Nobody does!"

"Which is exactly why you shouldn't go running off into the woods just assuming a house you happened to find will be safe!"

She watched as Neal suddenly broke into a wide almost wicked smile. "It's better than staying here," he whispered maliciously, in a taunting tone, before turning to walk away. She felt tense, that was not the way to win over David-

"Hey!" David yelled. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?! You have something to say? Say it!"

"Man, you know exactly what it means!" he yelled turning back to shout at David, like a teenager confronting his father, arms flailing with unused energy. "All the looks, the lies, the excuses to keep us busy! We're not idiots, alright, we know what you're trying to do and if you don't trust us the least you could do is say it to our faces."

The room was quiet as Neal tried to leave again, all eyes focused on the fiery angry look behind David's eyes. Not even Regina attempted to break up the argument by saying something sarcastic. She swore she could hear every heartbeat, every footfall as Neal walked away from him again, a tactic she suspected he used to tame his temper when it got the better of him. She'd seen him do it once with Hook.

"Alright fine!" David finally called out after him. "Fine, you want to go out into the forest and risk your own life, fine do it! But you can't drag her off with you into danger-"

"I want to go," she insisted, her voice once again coming out before she could remember giving permission for it to. She tried to be calm, to not show that she'd spoken before she'd thought in the look on her face, but she could feel her heart race at being brought into the conversation as she had, as if she was baggage or a tradable commodity. Rumple might have been gone but she felt that same fire flare in her belly as the day she'd met him. No one decided her fate. No one. And if Neal could stand his ground, then she could too, with or without Rumpelstiltskin at her side. But shouting and yelling was a trait father and son shared. She needed far more provocation before she was pushed to that point. "I want-I need to go with him."

"Belle!" Snow corrected like she was her mother and had just said a terrible swear word. She had to try hard to contain herself.

"Neal is right," she informed them. "Everyone else has been allowed to go. If you won't let us find a way to bring Rumple back then we should at least be given the opportunity to live outside the castle walls just like everyone else. We'll be closer than Ruby, you've made sure we don't know where to go…" she gently accused. "You know these forests better than we do, and you have the best trackers living with you in this castle! Neal is right, we aren't ignorant, we know that if we tried to run you'd track us down in a heartbeat!"

"You're not prisoners," Snow White insisted gently, genuinely believing what she was saying. But the look on David's face told her that her own husband disagreed with that statement. He might not have liked the terminology…but he wanted to keep them there whether they wanted to stay or not for Emma's sake. As long as he insisted they stay against their will, they were prisoners.

Neal opened his mouth to speak and she automatically reached out to touch his arm to stop him. Things were heated enough, more yelling was only going to make the situation worse. "We're just asking," she went on gently, "for a bit of privacy."

They were watching her too now, for the first time they were looking at her like they had before all this had happened, when she'd stood by his side in the shop or at the diner. They were looking at her again like she wasn't broken, like she was a fair match in a war of words. It felt good.

"Satisfied?" Neal taunted David again in a whisper. But this time he didn't give him time to respond, didn't give him any more options. Just managed to finally escape as he turned back to her and looked at her under heavy lids. "We'll leave in the morning," he informed her loud enough for the others to hear before leaving the scene and climbing the stairs to their rooms.


	15. One Last Gift

1 Month, 2 Weeks, 2 Days

Neal felt bad about the fight with David. Truly guilty. She could see it written plain as day on his face that he wished he'd handled the situation better. It was the same look he'd had on his face the day that he'd yelled at Hook at the grave. But now, like then, he wasn't going to admit he'd made a mistake, especially not when he'd won the war. Besides, like his father, he was just too proud.

They shut themselves away in his room for an hour or so afterward. She did most of the talking. Her first urge was to correct the way he'd yelled, try and talk some sense into him and get him to smooth things over with David, but in the end she ignored that urge. It sounded too much like "mothering" even in her own mind! And she knew deep down it would really do no good. So instead she reminded him to keep a level head and remain on guard. "Just because they didn't say anything doesn't mean they won't try to stop us," she insisted.

"Yeah, well, tomorrow morning we'll either leave or they'll have to imprison us for real because I'm tired of this it's-for-your-own-good line," he muttered, stirring the fire. Maybe that was the other reason she didn't try to get him to talk to David. He was too determined not to let anything soften him enough that he might change his mind. So she changed the subject and instead asked, assuming they would leave tomorrow and not end up in the tower, where they were going. She asked how he found it, where it was, what is was like, how he knew it didn't belong to someone else, and most puzzling of all how he knew it was protected and why he was so confident in its protections.

"Do you trust me?" he asked. Trust him. Again with that. It was the question he had on repeat, the one he wanted her to answer each time because he didn't believe her or was uncertain, much the same way she had to repeatedly tell his father that she did love him. Did she trust him? It wasn't even a question. He hadn't let her down or lied to her yet. Arguably she had more reason to trust him than Rumpelstiltskin! But the fact that he had his father's gaze when he asked serious questions like that didn't hurt his cause. So she offered the same confident smile she had every other time and nodded, happy to see his questioning gaze disappear just before he disappeared into the too big closet they both had in their rooms.

"Then grab anything you have that you'll want to take with you and by this time tomorrow you'll understand," he stated coming out with a small stack, maybe two or three pairs of undershirts she'd made him. They really didn't have a lot, packing would take no time at all.

"So long as we're not in shackles by then…" she corrected.

"Yeah…" Neal suddenly scratched the back of his head. Fidgeting and twitching, when he couldn't stand or shuffled like he was now, she was beginning to learn that he did that when he was uncomfortable or unsure of something, when he felt awkward or didn't know what to say. What now? "Look, if they should try to stop us tomorrow, if they don't let us leave, you shouldn't fight them, just-"

"I'm not going to just sit here and let them keep me a prisoner in a lavish bedroom while they leave you in that tower!" she insisted. "I might not have agreed with the way you said it but we both know that you were right! Enough is enough. Either I'm with you in this or I'm not. So whether we're imprisoned tomorrow or well on our way, no matter what…I'm with you."

Neal avoided her eyes after the pronouncement. Shook open one of the already folded shirts and neatly folded it again before nodding his head in an awkward, too big gesture. "Yeah," he breathed without meeting her eyes. "Yeah, okay."

She smiled. "Yeah, okay" was probably more than she would have ever gotten out of his father.

"You know it's a shame they don't want to help us," she whispered, attempting to lighten the mood. "If anyone could find and defeat Zelena it would be Rumple."

"Right now," he whispered, "the only one I'm thinking of is Henry…and Emma. If they don't want to help us and insist on treating us like dirt instead they can go to hell for all I care." She had the urge to correct him again, to tell him how cruel that sentence really was, and fix this rift that was between them all. Her, Snow, Neal, David. It was in her nature. If Neverland proved anything it was that a common enemy brought everyone together. Secretly, this wasn't the first time she'd wondered, if they managed to get Rumple back, was it possible to defeat Zelena with his help? Could they all be on the same side again? Could they see reason and be reunited with Henry and Emma together? She didn't know. And now wasn't the moment to bring it up to Neal because she knew that it would be just another step, something more to do that stood between him and his family all the while she stood next to her Rumple and told him to wait patiently. It was unfair, a terrible request to ask of him.

So she didn't. She simply excused herself, went back to the too big bedroom, and began pulling the few dresses she owned out of the closet along with the rest of the few meager possessions she'd managed to accumulate before going to bed for the final time. Maybe some other time they could talk about the possibility of it. Maybe they wouldn't. Maybe Neal just needed some time to be angry and upset with them for a while and maybe she did too. She had to admit that she felt as though Neal was right. They had been treated poorly since they'd arrived. She'd let that time pass and in the meantime she'd try to put herself back together as well and get into that when and if it was ever time.

She didn't sleep that night. For the first time in months she was just too excited! They were leaving this place, the looks, the stares, the insulting words, the whispers…no doubt they'd still be whispering about them while they were gone, but at least she wouldn't have to confront them on a daily basis. That was something.

The next morning her stomach turned over and they were met at the front door by Robin Hood, Granny and Ruby, who had stayed the night, and, much to Neal's obvious displeasure, David. "Here's the deal," he sighed. For a second she feared another retaliation but Neal let him talk. "I'm going to go with you, check this place out myself. If it's truly safe like you say…then I won't have a problem with your staying there. But if it's not-"

"Yeah I got the picture..." She, and everyone else for that matter, watched Neal. Waiting. Anticipating. Worrying. Wondering. He understood. Did that mean he agreed? "Seems fair to me," he finally muttered with an unhappy nod and a small shuffle.

The plan was simple. They went out to the stables, a place she had yet to explore because she had been too sheltered since they'd arrive. Granny and Ruby had a horse and a cart that they had used to bring Granny since horseback just didn't "agree" with her anymore. They were allowed to put what they wanted to take with them on the cart, since it was on the way to Granny and Ruby's house and after she quickly ran upstairs to collect the heavy old fashioned sewing machine and materials she had. She slipped a cloak over her shoulders quickly because she hadn't anticipated winter hitting in this land with this amount of force. It never had in her father's kingdom, and she assumed it wouldn't be as bad as it was in the mountains, but it was still cooler than she would have liked and left her hoping that wherever Neal was taking her had a fireplace. Finally she was given a horse to keep by David, they mounted up, and together they made their way slowly through the Forest with Neal taking the lead. They conducted their journey in awkward silence, but between awkward silence and a shouting match, she'd take the silence. Besides, she was just as happy to look at the new world around her...even if it did make her shiver.

The Forest she didn't know, the sounds she hadn't heard from her bedroom for months, the smells she'd missed! It reminded her of the time Rumpelstiltskin had taken her up to the cabin after weeks of being stuck inside. That memory should make her feel broken, it should make the hallow space inside her chest burn with regret and sadness. But right now…she couldn't say she was happy, until she had him back she couldn't be happy again, but she wasn't entirely unhappy either! And the fact that her first instinct had been to think about when she got him back and not if…she felt like this was a turning point.

After an hour or so Neal yelled that they were close and started to slow the pace. She looked around eagerly, her eyes scanning the forest around her, expecting to see it any second hoping she'd recognize it the second she did and everything would make sense! In the end she wouldn't say it jumped out at her so much as it seemed to stick out like a sore thumb. This entire area was wet forest. Muddy and icy, dirty, mulchy ground coated with a sugar-like frost, thick with tall trees, and untamed, dull winter fauna growing everywhere. And then there was a house.

A stone house with a thatched roof, and all around it, forming what she was sure was a perfect circle, was tall, tame dormant grass, not an over grown bush or tree in sight! It was magic. A protection spell without a doubt! But if it was protected…how was Neal supposed to get through? Or any of them for that matter.

As if answering her question the caravan stopped. As they all stared at the strange sight as Neal jumped off his horse and stepped inside the circle. Nothing happened to him, he just led the horse inside by the bit and glanced at David quickly over his shoulder. "If you want to take a look around you can. Door's this way!" He released the horse and, after a moment of utter shock passed, David dismounted.

"Everybody stay here. I'm going to look around," Ruby slid off her horse to take his horses reins and David drew his sword. She could practically hear Neal roll his eyes even at this distance. David eyed the clear perimeter cautiously for a second, then carefully stepped into it. In all honesty, when it was done and nothing happened, he looked a bit silly. Nevertheless, once he was inside he strode after Neal, proudly following him around a corner to where he'd said the door was located. She wanted desperately to follow, but was content to stay put until the men had finished, if they were going to exchange words she didn't need to be there until she heard them yelling from outside.

"What is this place?" she heard Ruby say with something like awe as she stared at it.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. But Neal seemed familiar with it, and that was good enough for her. Though she had to admit that asking about the strange house was going to be one of the first questions she asked.

"It's sturdy!" David said suddenly emerging from the house. It happened almost too fast and she wondered if that was good or bad. He sounded like his normal self, not spiteful or irritated, but not happy either. He just sounded…like he'd settled. And "sturdy". What exactly did "sturdy" mean? That he approved.

"Just like I said!" Neal confirmed strutting proudly out of the house. "We'll take it from here." Neal moved toward the cart that Ruby's horse had been pulling and pulled their bags off, tossing them in the protected "yard" before pulling her heavy sewing machine off for her. Something in her snapped at the motion. They were here, they were staying. And she was just staring off into the distance when she should be happily and confidently moving in! Quickly she slipped off her horse and led the beast into the protected circle with Neal, trading places with David.

"Thanks for your help," she muttered, holding the horses.

"Yeah," Neal said less than kindly for her taste, before stepping out of the circle and walking back into the forest. "See this?" he reached down and picked up a handful of near frozen dirt. "Nothing ever grew here. It's the remnants of an old road. If you follow it that way for a mile or so, you'll come to your village," he said to Ruby and Granny. Sure enough when she looked she could make out a ribbon of earth that wasn't nearly as grown over as the rest of the area was.

David looked tense as Neal made his way back into the circle, silently saying he was ready for them to go. "Just…promise you'll come find us if you need something. Or come back if you're uncomfortable-"

"We will," she answered for him. "You know where to find us." And after a few final awkward good-byes, they set off down the "road" and left the pair of them standing there in their new "yard" in peace. Alone.

At last!

"Finally," Neal echoed, with an irritated sigh she sensed he'd been keeping in for days, maybe even weeks. "Come on, it's not much, but I'll show you around.

"There's a pen back here. It's small, it used to be for sheep but for now it'll do to keep the horses in," he explained leading her and the horses around the other side of the house and opening a fragile looking picket fence and ushering their horses inside. "We can untack in a few minutes, let me take you back here first."

They rounded the other side of the house, through another gate until they were on the opposite side. It was busier on this side of the house. Much busier. "The chicken coop is empty now. I don't know how long we'll be here but if it's long we can fix that. A fire pit, for cooking on warmer nights, not that it'll be a problem this time of year. The well was added later, but it still works, even in the cold…magic, I suppose.

"My father gave it the strongest protection he could a few hundred years ago and made sure it was self-sustaining so even if people attacked, they wouldn't be able to get in and anyone inside would have…well, let's call it all the comforts of home. Everything within the circled area is protected, only those with good intentions can come in. Leave it to the Dark One to have a protection spell that would keep out even the curse to end all curses."

"Wait," she interrupted, looking around the circle amazed at her Rumple's handy work. She really should have figured that out on her own. "I…I don't understand. Why did it need so much protection? Why would anyone attack this place? Who lived here?"

Neal glanced down at her with a strange knowing gaze. Unhappy and cocky all at the same time. "Me," he answered quickly, before stepping away and moving on. "And Papa of course. This is where I lived when I was a kid, even after he became the Dark One. This is where I grew up," he went on over his shoulder, barely giving her a moment to take in the shocking news before she had to run to catch up to him.

"All this time I was looking for something familiar so I could figure out where the castle was, but a couple of weeks ago I looked up at the mountain ridge and realized that there was something I knew much closer to home, just not that castle. The ridge, it looked like the mountains I could see from a field I used to play in when I was little. I knew about the protection spell and had a hunch. We weren't getting anywhere with the castle and we weren't going to with everyone watching us so I asked Robin to show me around the villages, hoping to find it, but none of them were right.

"It's been hundreds of years since I was here," he went on rounding the corner back to where they'd started. He grabbed the heavy sewing machine and she took a couple of bags as he looked around the forest with strange eyes. "This whole place used to be a village when I was a kid. A series of villages really. There was a dock not far off. It wasn't exactly the ocean but if you followed it long enough it led out to sea. I guess it dried up. When there was no more trade the village must have moved or died or whatever villages do and nature took over the original one. But I guess..." Neal shrugged as he hefted the machine into his arms and glanced back at her.

"The spell was supposed to keep me safe but I guess it kept the land from aging, too. When I found it yesterday it was like I'd gone back in time. Nothing has changed. The house should have rotted away by now, everything inside should have turned to dust, but it's just as I remember it! I had to chop some wood for the fire, but that was about it. It was…remarkable! Funny," he sighed looking up at the building in front of him. "I used to pray one day I'd get outta this place, I never thought in a million years it would be the answer to my prayers."

She had no words as he led her to the door on the wall opposite the small pen. She could easily see how it was a surreal unbelievable experience for Neal but for her…it was a different feeling all together. It was like Rumple had planned it. All of it, since the very beginning! How many times had he promised her she'd never have to go back to her life in a castle? How often had he promised she'd always be safe?! It was as if he'd reached out from wherever he was now and saved her once more. He hadn't left her with nothing. It felt that way sometimes, that was what the empty spot in her chest that refused to heal told her at least. She had none of his possessions, it was true, but he'd left her one last gift he might not have understood at the time and it wasn't the house…it was his son.

Without Neal, she wasn't sure she would have survived the first day back and now…it was the best gift he could have left her with.


	16. Not Like Most Nights

1 Month, 3 Weeks

She couldn't even begin to describe how much she loved the little house.

Their little home.

It was freedom. It was cozy. It was…perfection.

Before she'd seen the inside that first day Neal had warned her not to get her hopes up that it was small, it wasn't fancy, and it was old-fashioned. But the second he'd pushed the door open it took her all of three seconds to decide it was heaven. No. It wasn't big, but it was bigger than the cabin was. It was shaped awkwardly, it wasn't as private as the cabin because it had no doors…but they managed to work around that. The sitting room was warm and inviting. Cluttered, just like Rumple had always lived she supposed, a pack rat right from the beginning, but his spinning wheel was a comforting familiar sight. As she pushed the wheel, letting it spin to life again and let out the normal creaks and groans expected of old wood she had to fight to hold back her tears. She'd only seen one small bit and it was already more like home than that castle had been after more than a month!

There was a ladder that led up to a small, thin loft that Neal had explained was meant for him as a child. But he admitted that it wasn't abnormal for him to fall asleep on the little window ledge across from the spinning wheel or in his fathers bed. "He always made due even with his leg. He couldn't make it up the ladder but I liked being tucked in. Sometimes he slept in the chair or at his wheel. He never complained," he muttered, a smile fighting to break through at the corner of his mouth.

She'd smiled and whipped a tear from her cheek. "He probably liked it," she'd informed him confidently. He'd have given anything for Neal. Sleeping in a chair or at a table just for the joy of tucking Neal in as a young boy…he would have considered it a good deal.

She'd moved around Neal then, passing a couple shelf dividers in the wall and into what she could only assume was the private area. There were curtains tied back against the shelves so the area could be closed off to visitors. On the other side, a small bed, smaller than a twin in the World Without Magic, sat with a rumpled grey blanket and a pillow that still had an indent on it. "His bed?" she'd questioned when she first saw it. When he gave a small nod she'd picked the pillow up and inhaled deeply. Three hundred years later and it still smelled like him…and something else. A lump rose in her throat as she put it together. Not something, someone. "Milah?" she'd asked, unable to meet Neal's eye.

Behind her he'd given a regretful sigh. "Yeah..." he'd groaned, rubbing the back of his neck and looking guilty, "I didn't think of that. It was stupid, if you don't want to-"

"It's fine," she'd told him, setting the pillow back in its place and ignoring the conjugal bed. They'd talked about Milah a few times, once in particular when she hadn't even known the woman's name but had been curious about his wife. Looking back it had been a stupid topic to explore considering they'd been in bed. He'd dealt with it. Asked her not to bring it up again while they were "like this" and told her that it wasn't because he didn't want to share his former life with her. "It's because I don't want to share you with that life," he'd insisted romantically. "That life". This house. That bed. And yet here she was. Trying to be respectful she'd moved on, promising that she'd get over it so long as she didn't have to sleep in the bed. She could be understanding. But not that understanding. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

The dining room was next to the bed. A simple table with a couple of chairs and a chandelier of candles suspended from a beam on the ceiling hung above it while a pretty red rug sat beneath it. There were wardrobes, small chests, and trunks all around her. Places to hide clothes and personal items, with small treasures and knick knacks spread on every available surface.

At the end of the room, separated by only a couple of pillars was a kitchen! It was smaller than her kitchen had been in the castle. But it was familiar. It was something she knew. The fireplace, a table to work on, pots and pans suspended from racks that hung from more ceiling beams! And another spinning wheel tucked away in the corner. As long as she ignored the bed when she turned around, this place would be better than perfect! It was a miracle.

She'd cried when she thanked Neal, whipped more tears from her eyes and had to really resist the urge to run forward and hug him. "It's for both of us," he'd told her, no doubt her tears making him uncomfortable. "It lets us plan without the fear of being overheard, gets you away from those 'looks' you hate." She'd smiled at that, the little joke he'd made as she'd nodded and together they'd spent the rest of the day moving in.

It hadn't quite been a week since that day, but already things were going better than she ever imagined. The bed turned out not to be a problem for her. Neal slept there and as long as he did, as long as she could continue to think of it as "Neal's room" she could handle it. There was evidence of the two of them living there now. Neal had set up her sewing machine in the sitting room, on a table by the window that she'd cleared off that was close to his spinning wheel and basket of wool, which had also remained remarkably intact after a hundred years.

She slept upstairs, in the loft. It was just big enough to fit a couple of trunks to store her limited wardrobe in and a mattress. It was small, like Neal's, but she'd rather a too small bed than a too big bed!

They figured out privacy for the pair of them easy enough. When they needed to bathe they casually mentioned it and didn't complain as they came up with some excuse to sit outside in the cold for the allotted time until the other opened the door and said they could come in. At night, when he was ready for bed, he simply shut the curtains and closed off the sitting room. When she went to bed, because of the location of the bed and the tiny over hang from the loft, not to mention the rails that had been put in, probably for Neal's protection as a child, it was impossible for them to look up or down at one another.

But it wasn't all perfect. There were…problems to say the least. David, Snow White, even Ruby, were the three biggest. Not once since the morning that they first woke up here had they been left in peace. Every morning, only an hour or so after they rose someone always dropped in the "check" on them. Or so they claimed. They dealt with it. Tried to pretend it didn't effect them because they were happier here than in the castle…but still. They weren't just "checking" on them for their safety. They were "checking" to make sure they were still there and hadn't run off. Five days. David had been by twice, once with his wife. Snow White had come the following day bearing fruit. Ruby had come by once with bread. And although she loved the girl, always considered her a best friend, the visit was awkward to say the least. She set the bread on the table, her eyes had scanned the place, and the few words they'd exchanged had been forced.

She was just doing what David and Snow White had no doubt asked her too, but it still upset her. "She just doesn't know what to say," Neal had repeated like a broken record over dinner that night. But nevertheless, she found herself feeling guilty for hoping she wouldn't come by again anytime soon. She honestly didn't know what had upset her more, the fact that Ruby "didn't know what to say" or the fact that she was checking in, that David must have convinced her, in order to do it, that the two of them were untrustworthy. She tried not to think anything of it, but the visit felt like a horrible betrayal.

Still, unwanted morning visits aside, for the most part their life in the house was better, nearly perfect, even with the large chunk of her soul still missing. And sometimes, when she sat across from Neal at dinner and set something out to eat that she'd made, she felt a strange warmth. For him. For them. It made her think she might be healing. No, she'd never be _healed_, not without him, but she could heal. If scars could be considered healed, then so could she. But it wasn't necessary because they were going to figure it out. One day they were going to get him back. Being here, in the house with Neal, away from the castle…it gave her hope. And at night, the sound of Neal's gentle breathing always managed to reach her ears. It calmed her. Helped her feel like she wasn't alone in this. Most of the time things were fine. Most of the time she felt hopeful. Most nights, as long as she focused on that sound, she didn't need to cry to put herself to sleep.

Most nights.

But sometimes Rumple still haunted her. And when she went to bed that night, thinking about David's "visit" that morning, the way he'd looked over their home with suspicious eyes, she found herself unable to think about Neal's breathing, even with the stale still winter air. She could only think that after five days they still weren't free. And after five days they were no closer to their goal than they had been living in the castle. They had comfort, but that hadn't been the real goal. Rumple was. And he was still…

She sniffled and sat up in her bed. That was one of the few problems she'd encountered living in this house: she couldn't cry without Neal overhearing. He slept almost as lightly as his father did! So she pushed herself off the mattress, wrapped the blankets around her shoulders, and carefully climbed down the ladder. She slipped outside quietly as she could and walked around the side of the house, ignoring the cold numbness that sank into her bare feet trodding against the freshly fallen snow, until she found the little bench next to the old chicken coop Neal had told her they may as well get some chickens for yesterday.

She swallowed, trying to get rid of the knot she felt in her throat, trying to contain her building sorrow, but it was too thick and she couldn't. So instead of trying to resist it, she did what she'd come out here to do, and gave into the emptiness inside her. Her fingers gripped the awkward bench tight as she wept, letting her tears fall into her lap. Sometimes, as much as she knew it would hurt Rumple to know she was doing it, crying helped. And out in the woods like this, at least she didn't have to worry about anyone hearing-

"Belle?" she scrambled to automatically clean her face at Neal's voice. Wishing that he wasn't too much like his father and could actually sleep through a door opening and closing. She was about to stand, to say she was fine and apologize for waking him before they went back into the house when Neal turned around. She stared after him as he left, almost grateful he'd left her to her misery when she heard him come back outside, holding a candle in one hand and a handful of straw in the other. She watched as he placed the straw in the circular fire pit and left the candle there to let it burn so the logs would catch, making them a fire to keep the chill from completely consuming them before he took the seat next to her with a heavy tired sigh.

"I'm sorry, I woke you," she choked out, her throat tight as he relaxed, resting his head against the stone wall behind them.

"Don't worry about it," he whispered absent-mindedly, watching the fire spark to life with tired eyes. "I mean it," he said after a loud crack from the flames, "next time…wake me."

She opened her mouth to say something, but couldn't come up with the words or thoughts even. She'd started to boil over before he'd come out and now…now there was just no stopping it. She'd opened her mouth to use words, but what came out was another cry and sniffle. She bent forward again. Her insides melting and collapsing as she wished for him, wanted him more than anything, hoped to wake up and find herself in the middle of a terrible dream and he'd be there…wrap her up in his arms, tell her she was safe with him, and rub her back until she fell asleep again.

Most times she believed she might be able to heal, but with tears falling over her cheeks down her chin, and into her hair and blankets…if she didn't get him back that wasn't possible. If she didn't get him back, she'd never outrun nights like this. The smallest of things would set it off for the rest of her life.

Like an answered prayer there was an arm suddenly, a hand on her back moving across her shoulders, making her cry more at the touch. The bench creaked as his weight shifted next to her and he pulled her against his shoulder. He didn't say anything. Didn't ask questions or wonder if she needed something. Just held her there in place against him.

He wasn't Neal. He wasn't Rumpelstiltskin's son. He was her big brother again. Weathering the storm with her come what may…or in her case, weathering the torrential downpour of tears she just never seemed to be able to outrun. He didn't hush her or tell her to stop, just let her work through them and when the moment finally passed, she felt empty again. Like a husk, a shell. She stared into the dancing flames without a smile or a frown, eyes hallow, cheeks salty.

Neal moved then. He got up, grabbed a few more snow covered logs, and threw them onto the pyre with a sizzle before taking his place by her side again, his arm returning to her shoulders. "Did it help?" he murmured after a few minutes.

She sniffled at the question, the corners of her mouth turned down in a frown, but it was over. She had control again. She could fight it, but she couldn't answer his question. Did it help? Maybe. Yes. No. Both? Neither? Maybe it had…maybe it hadn't. She didn't know. "What caused it?" Neal asked gently after another silent moment, but helpfully managed to avoid her eyes, giving her all the privacy she needed. What had caused it…an excellent question!

"They're never going to let us go," she whispered darkly. "We're gone but they still won't let us go. How are we supposed to do this when it feels like there is an entire Kingdom working against us?"

He sighed next to her. "You know…I think...I think maybe we've been doing this wrong. Coming at it from the wrong direction. I feel like all this time we've been waiting for them, hoping they'll come around or change their minds and help us out. But maybe they aren't the ones that need to change. Maybe it's us."

She sniffled again as her chest gave an involuntary heave, still trying to catch her breath as she moved away from him enough to see his face and figure out what he was trying to tell her. "What do you mean?" she questioned.

"That we need to be a little more proactive, less passive in this whole thing," he explained, releasing her and looking down at his feet, kicking dirt and snow just for something to do. "They don't trust us, we can't trust them. If they're not going to help us we need to help ourselves. Start making plans, serious ones. I mean…" finally he picked his head up, avoided her eyes as he glanced over her shoulder before looking at her. "We're it, right? You and me? Maybe it's time to start acting like it."

They were it.

They. Were. It. They might not have much. But at least it was something. At least they were something to hold onto. She swallowed again as she nodded, fighting off a residual wave of tears. How could three words carry so much emotion? She looked away from him, back into the fire hoping it would help. But after a second he scooted closer to her again and placed his arm back around her shoulders. And as he drew her to his shoulder again she was surprised to feel his lips pressed against her temple, kissing her, making the act of holding back tears nearly impossible.

"We're going to figure this out," he promised, giving her back a small rub. "You and me; the two of us are going to fix this. My father's the only one that can get us back there. We have no other options here…we have to do this! But there's no reason we have to do it freezing out here…" she felt herself chuckle at his small request in the form of a joke and bury her head against his arm. It was cold. She could handle it on her own, endure it to cry, but she didn't want him to "freeze" as he'd so poignantly put it on her behalf. He'd already made enough sacrifices for her.

So she tore herself away from him, offered a small smile, and felt her body stand. "Let's go inside."

"Thank you," he whispered sounding relieved as he stood eagerly, assured her the fire would burn itself out, then wrapped his arm around her once more and held her to his side as they went back into the house together.

What were they? Friends? The conversations they had certainly felt like they were friends. But the way he protected her, shielded her, rubbed her back and held her…that still felt like something a brother would do. Like they were siblings. But that kiss…soft and gentle. Caring. Supportive. Reassuring. He'd never done that before. And the way he followed after her, always came after her no matter what, acted as though he was responsible for her...

She promised she'd never mother him. But how was she supposed to react when she felt like the tables were turned, and he treated her with the kind a care and concern a son would give his mother?


	17. Wrong Good Intentions

2 Months

They never spoke of that night again. When they'd finally gone back into the house the sky had been lightening as the sun began to rise and, despite the fact that the day was beginning, when they got back into the house they'd both gone back to bed without a word…until David knocked on their door, predictable as ever a few hours later, wanting to check on them.

Neal was right, they couldn't just escape, couldn't run away and the reason for it was staring them right in the face every morning. Still they dealt with the hassle, because they had no choice and getting rid of David after a few minutes was better than living back in the castle under their constant watch. So they did their best to cope and after a while they started to make a game of it by taking bets every night at dinner. "It'll probably be David tomorrow," she'd suggest.

"Nah, I'm going to bet on Ruby…" he'd counter. "David's come for the last three days. He won't want to seem too obsessive." They both chuckled at that particular comment.

Neal liked her. He might not ever say it, but she knew that he liked her, that this arrangement was going to be better than she'd originally hoped it would be. She was coming to believe that it wasn't her that made him uncomfortable, it wasn't "mothering" that bothered him, Neal just didn't know how to be a "son" anymore, to let another person care for him in that way. It was fine, they didn't have to get there right away, she and Rumple hadn't. But she was glad to begin breaking down walls again and slowly start to show him that he didn't have to always be the one to take care of everything. Some times it was alright to be cared for. And she was determined to get there with him someday. Besides, even after all this came to an end, in the future when they had their family back, she hoped that he'd never think of her exclusively as a mother. She liked being his friend too much. She felt different when she was around him, when they were together their interactions were different than when she was with anyone else and although she missed Rumple, missed who she was with him, she liked the person Neal was helping her be in his absence. He made her just as strong as Rumple had, though in a different way. He made her want to stand up for herself, to be heard, to be respected as she deserved to be! And occasionally made her laugh...

The next morning, as they sat down to eat breakfast, they held their breath and glanced at each other when they heard the first knock. They stopped eating and waited until the second knock came and they heard Ruby's voice shout "Belle? Are you there? Granny sent me to check on you! I have bread!" Neal broke out into a wide smile and looked down at the table, staring and picking at his food so when she got up and opened the door Ruby wouldn't see his proud victorious smirk. As usual Ruby didn't need anything. Merely left the basket of bread on the table and told them that Snow and David wanted everyone at the castle for a dinner that night. Nothing was wrong they just wanted to see everyone and they hoped they would come too. She and Granny would be by a little later that afternoon and they were welcome to ride with them.

"Funny how easily a request can sound like a command," Neal muttered behind her as she stood in the threshold watching Ruby walk away.

"She means well," she murmured.

He didn't respond. There was nothing to argue about. She was right, but so was he. They were being watched, like children…but she knew that they were doing it because they believed that it was the right thing to do. It was an unfortunate fact of life that sometimes the deepest of convictions, no matter how well intended, were not always right.

But right or not it was her and Neal against…too many to count! Snow White, David, Ruby, Granny, and with the power that they had she knew the list went on and on. Right or not, they couldn't fight it, just wait until it passed. So they prepared, dressed appropriately and when Granny and Ruby rode up to the house with their horse drawn cart Neal lent her a hand to help her sit next to Ruby before mounting his own steed to ride side by side with them.

The dinner was a pretense, of course. Dull, boring, something that she would have had to attend years ago before she'd ever even heard the name Rumpelstiltskin. Their presence really wasn't required for any other reason than to convince everyone that they were there at the table playing their game and not out traversing the kingdom looking for ways to bring Rumpelstiltskin back from the grave so they could go to Emma and Henry as they wanted to. Nevertheless they talked to those that addressed them, no matter how menial the topic was, they ate dinner no matter how much they wanted to be at home eating, and when the sun went down and everyone moved to one of the sitting rooms to continue talking, they went with them…at least she did. It was the only time the entire night that she lost track of him for a few moments, the only time that she had to wander around in circles trying to find him. She was just about to panic, convinced he wasn't there and had left her behind, when he suddenly snuck up behind her, grabbed her shoulders playfully, and whispered a breathy "Hey!" happily in her ear, a simple gesture meant to startle and tease.

And of course it worked. She jumped at the surprise and he beamed ear to ear at his success. She returned the smile and pressed her hand to her chest, trying to get her heart to stop racing at the childish prank. "You scared me," she accused. She appreciated him more than she thought she might have anyone else in her life, sometimes even more than Rumpelstiltskin, but sometimes he had a tendency to remind her why she was happy that she'd been an only child."I was beginning to think you'd left-"

"Yes and no," he answered, his voice a whisper as he glanced quickly at those around them that weren't paying any attention to them still. "Listen…we should go, now. They know we're here and there's no reason to stay. We need to get home and…talk." She stared up at him, confused, but also understanding his words. He'd done something. Something had changed…but what?! She had to know, wanted to know! So she gave an eager nod and let him explain to Snow White and Ruby that they were leaving, that they didn't need the cart and Neal would get them both back to the house without problem.

"We'll see you soon!" Snow White called as Neal placed a hand at her back and led her out of the room.

"Just for the record, my money is on her tomorrow," he whispered quietly as they left.

"What are the chances we get both of them?" she countered.

Together they went down the stable, saddled Neal's horse and climbed on delicately. She wrapped her arms around his waist for the uncomfortable ride, but at a gallop it took half the time to get home as it did to get to the castle. They were quiet the entire way, not bothering to talk over the pounding of the hooves on the forest floor or risk anyone over hearing whatever it was that Neal wanted to tell her, but the moment they closed the door behind them she turned to glance at him.

"What happened? Where did you go?"

He nodded and guided her over to their small dinner table, reaching into his pocket to pull out…a piece of paper? No. A large piece of paper, something more than a scrap, just folded over and over again. Promptly, he unfolded it, and lay it out before her, ran his hands over it to flatten the thing, then with a half spin he set it in the right direction and she gasped when she saw what it was. "Where did you-"

"Yeah, I snuck away after dinner and did some exploring. I found an old library," he explained. "I don't think it was used for anything but squatters since we got in. But I found a hidden door in one of the shelves that led to a private study that had dozens of these…maps."

Yes, her father's study had been a room like that, filled with wooden diamonds that each contained different maps of the realm, kingdoms, seas. And yes, even-

"My father's castle is here," Neal pointed to a small black icon toward the north, small compared to how big it had seemed when she'd been there. There was writing underneath it, foreign to her but native to this land that translated simply to "The Dwelling of the Dark One".

There were dozens of symbols like that on this map, multiple lines that traced out the kingdoms she'd once known by heart. Once upon a time, a tutor would only have had to point to one area of this monstrosity and she could have stated who ruled there, what they were known for, if they held any riches, and if they were a threat. Now the names and faces were just a blur. Sporadic thoughts jumped into her mind as she looked at the map, little bits and pieces that came back to her, but it was as she'd always assumed. They wouldn't have been able to make this trip based on her knowledge alone. They needed this. A map. Now what?

Avonlea.

She spotted it easily enough, her eyes drawn to it without hesitation. She compared the distance from there, from the tiny castle that she had once lived in to his castle, then compared that from Regina's castle to his. By her judgment, her castle to his own had been the longer journey. It had only taken a day to get there before! But…she'd long suspected that magic had some hand in that day's journey, since the passing of time had seemed…strange to say the least. Were they as close as she thought, as she hoped, or further?

"How long?" she asked, looking up at Neal and pointing out the place they were for them and drawing a straight line up to his castle for him. "How long would it take us to get there?"

Neal gave a long, drawn out sigh and rubbed his forehead as he sat down, staring at the map with her. She knew right away that the answer wasn't going to be as simple as "a day or so." Magic had been at play during her journey then. "Yeah…that's the thing-"

"How long Neal?!" she questioned again, prodding him further. She didn't care if she liked the answer or not she just wanted one!

"Best case scenario…good weather, no trouble, no unknown obstacles, no one chasing or trying to stop us…ten days."

Ten days. She collapsed into her chair and looked at the map before her, once again recalling her first trip to the castle…he really had used magic. A lot of it, to make it seem like only a day. But ten days! No. Not ten days. More. Like Neal said that was the best case scenario, but ten days of good weather, of no trouble in this land just wasn't possible! And she knew that they'd be heading up into the mountains. Ten days might be the bare minimum, but it was unrealistic.

"Two weeks…" she altered.

"Yeah…kinda makes you miss having a car huh?" Neal confirmed, almost sadly. But somewhere inside her the flame of hope she had burst into life, giving her energy. No. This wasn't sad. This was good! This was wonderful! So it would take two weeks, what was two weeks among thousands that she could have with him when they succeeded in getting him back. There was something at that castle for her she could feel it! Better a two-week journey than a lifetime without him. Still, she wasn't an idiot. Two weeks might not be much in the Land Without Magic but here, two weeks was a long, long time. And that was only the time it would take to get there! Who knew where they might have to go from there if they couldn't find the dagger! This would require a much more delicate planning process than just a map.

"We'll need to take blankets with us," she muttered, already thinking it through. "Food, horses, maybe even a shelter!"

Neal nodded. "And we're being watched like hawks, specifically to make sure we don't do something like this, don't take things like that. We'll have to be careful, get the things that we need without being suspicious, and hide them again, out of sight-"

"You have an old trunk upstairs," she suggested quickly, their minds already planning and working in tandem. "It's filled with clothes, we could easily find another place for them, tell the others that we're cleaning out and hide what we need there. No one ever goes up into the loft when they visit us, they always stay down here. We just have to make sure this room looks...normal."

He nodded. "We can't go right away," he pointed out. "We're in the middle of winter here, it won't be a problem for some of the journey but if we try crossing the mountains in it or even just trekking across the Enchanted Forest...it'll be another month or so until the weather will let up enough for us to really get anywhere. And getting what we need, it's going to take time. Besides, if we left tonight they'd figure out we were gone by morning and come after us. We'll be on the run and they'll catch us before we even reach Aurora's Kingdom."

It was true. She knew that. As much as she wanted to collect what they needed and leave tomorrow morning he was right. They'd know exactly where they'd gone and they would stop them, not for their good, but for Emma and Henry's good. They'd have to wait, until winter was over, wait to gain their trust, to convince them that they weren't sneaking around even while they were sneaking around! Maybe then they'd let up. Maybe instead of coming every morning they'd come every two days then three or four, maybe then they'd give them enough time to leave and get a decent head start. But who knew how long it would take to get that trust. Another week. Two? A month? More? And how long, alongside that, would it take to collect all that they needed to take with them? They had a plan and a map, but it didn't feel like they were any better than they'd been a week or so ago.

She fought the urge to cry again, the depression that threatened to pull her down, that told her this was impossible and she should just surrender to her fate-

"Belle," she glanced over to see Neal watching her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. It was all she needed to keep herself firmly grounded in this reality, in the possible, in hope! What was another month or two compared to a lifetime without her True Love at her side?

She reached up and placed her hand over Neal's and offered what she hoped was a smile. "It's a start," she told him, "a place to begin. We'll do what we can, gather and hide for now while we wait for winter to end and when the time is right…that's when we'll go."


	18. Proactive Progress

2 Months, 1 Week, 4 Days

They both agreed. The days of waiting for the others to trust them were over…the days of making them trust the pair of them had begun. Instead of passively being kind toward the small group that checked on them, instead of just tolerating them, they went out of their way to join in with them in whatever way possible.

When someone came over in the morning to check on them, instead of just making small talk and answering questions, she made them tea, invited them to sit down at the table while she made breakfast, even tried her best to engage them in conversation no matter how much it hurt.

Instead of waiting for invitations to the castle they invited themselves over every couple of days and even showed up unannounced on a couple of occasions. Neither of them particularly cared for the conversation or the setting, but they both smiled and pretended to be wide-eyed and interested enough with what was going on in the realm. They stopped trying to discern their location or get information out of the royals and they seemed to enjoy that they didn't ask anymore, but failed to see that they'd stopped because they simply didn't need the information now.

During the day she took trips to the castle and Ruby and Granny's house. Though the interaction was still uncomfortable, it felt better knowing that there would be an end to the suffering. That for every pointless conversation they had, every meaningless activity they endured, it would bring them maybe one day closer to leaving for good.

And Neal did his part by becoming an honorary member of Robin's group of Merry Men…or at least it appeared that way. Robin himself had been practically living in the castle since they'd returned and it appeared that the men, with or without their fearless leader, had assimilated Neal into their group. It was a task that he seemed to enjoy more than she did her own. "So long as I don't have to start wearing tights I'm good," he told her one night when she asked if he'd had a good time.

They didn't need the chickens as Neal had once thought they would. Ruby gave them bread. Her trips to the castle often saw her returning with fruit and vegetables. Neal returned home from hunting with game. To the outside world they were moving on. Conforming. Getting used to what they were left with and making the most of it as best they could. But when the sun went down, they sat huddled at the table, reviewing the map, making lists, putting together a plan. It was slow going at first. But the first morning that no one showed up at their door to check on them they knew that it wasn't for nothing. They were back the next morning of course, but one morning was enough. Progress. It was working.

"Hey!" She glanced up from the soup she was stirring over the fire for dinner at the sound of his voice over the door opening and closing. Right on time Neal returned from the days hunt and removed the bow and arrow the men had given him to use. While he preferred the sword he admitted to her that he knew bow and arrow was better for hunting, and Neverland had given him plenty of practice.

"Hey," she echoed softly, going to the cabinet they kept dishes in for a pair of bowls. "Did you catch anything?" she asked, ladling what she could in quickly so it would cool and let them eat soon.

"Ah…No!" he stated uncinching his cloak from under his neck. "No, I tore my glove and the damn thing wouldn't stay on, the cold made my fingers numb…kinda makes it hard to hold the bow, you know," he explained pulling "the things" off and glancing at one of them regretfully.

But as he set the gloves down on the table she couldn't help but reach out and pick them up to examine them…Lacey's interest was piqued. He hadn't torn his glove. One of the buttons was falling off and would make it difficult to stay in place. It was a simple fix hardly worth Lacey's time, but something she was only too happy to volunteer for. "I can fix that," she told him.

Neal only shook his head and took it from her again, "Don't bother. I'll find new ones the next time we're at the castle."

She rolled her eyes and practically yanked it out of his hand again. "It'll take me all of ten minutes," she argued, moving around him to the sewing machine before he could snatch it away again. Needle. Thread. It really wasn't the lost cause he seemed to think it was. And really, after designing and making nearly every dress Snow White wore in this land did he really think she wouldn't fix a button for him?!

"Um…thanks," he commented. "And thanks for dinner! It smells great."

"It's nothing, you're welcome," she informed him, still happy he'd said thank you. She'd taken to doing the housework again. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, though he still insisted on doing his own most of the time which she couldn't complain about. It was natural, like it had been when she'd lived with his father. There was work to be done, she was in the house all day working on clothes, there was no reason she shouldn't do it. The busyness gave her something to occupy her time and thinking about plans gave her something to occupy her hands. One day at a time she'd live through this…especially if she had Neal's unending support.

She sat at the table and worked on the button as Neal pulled out the map they'd been staring at for weeks now and shoveled spoonfuls of soup into his mouth. The silence seeped into her as she glanced across the table at the map. But it was the same map that it had been yesterday night, and the night before that, and the night before that. The distance hadn't magically shortened. Their plans remained the same...

They needed a change. Something else to think about. Something else to talk about! Something that didn't revolve around Rumple, or Emma, or Henry. Something to talk about besides loss.

"So..." she began, glancing up at him from her work for a brief moment, "why 'Neal'?"

"Excuse me?" he questioned looking over at her across the table confused.

"Why 'Neal'?" She didn't know if the question was appropriate or not, didn't know if it was touchy for him, something he wouldn't want to share. It had simply been the first thing to pop into her mind. "Of all the names in the world," she elaborated, "why that one?"

"Oh! It, uh…it was Wendy," he stuttered. "She used to tell me that Baelfire was a funny name, and it was for this-that world!" he corrected quickly, still not used to living in the Enchanted Forest once more. "She had a cousin from Scotland and his name was Neal. We looked alike and she'd occasionally call me that by accident. When I got out of Neverland I needed something to blend in and that was just the first thing I thought of.

"But 'Baelfire' is so unique. You didn't want to stand out?"

"Yeah...my particular way of life required…discretion. The last thing I needed was to stand out. You get caught that way! Besides, Baelfire…" his voice trailed off suddenly, like he'd just caught himself about to say something he didn't want to. Secretive. Another family trait.

"Baelfire…" she prompted, pushed gently hoping he'd talk to her about it, tell her what bothered her so much.

He sighed and took another gulp of soup. "It was the name of one of my uncles, on my mother's side. He died before I was born but she used to tell me stories about him when I was little. He'd died in battle and I think she was trying to make me into a hero instead of a coward like Papa. And…I don't know, you know, after I ended up in Neverland, after Hook found me and told me what really happened to my mother, that she wasn't dead, that she'd left…I guess I just went through a phase and didn't want to have that attachment anymore. Stupid, right?" he questioned nervously rubbing the back of his head as he squirmed in his chair.

Stupid? Not at all. She understood something like that all too well. It was why she never referred to herself as Belle French and had told him she didn't want her father's last name the night he'd come home and they'd talked about the possibility of marriage and a name change for her. She knew exactly what that felt like…she had more in common with his son than she thought sometimes! "It doesn't sound 'stupid', it makes sense," she assured him. After what her father had done to her she never wanted to see him again. After what Neal's mother had done to his family…was he happy that seeing her again was no longer an option? Did he mind that the bed he slept in now wasn't just his father's, but had once belonged to his mother?

"Do you miss her?" she asked before she could stop herself.

"I used to," Neal responded after a quiet moment, looking down into his soup bowl and picking at a few of the vegetables she'd learned he didn't care for. "But now…" he didn't go on and he didn't need to, she understood perfectly. It was in his tone and a brief glimmer in his eyes that betrayed him. He did miss his mother…but he didn't want to. She could understand that feeling all too well…because the truth was that sometimes she did miss her father.

Her father wasn't perfect and he'd made some poor choices after her mother had died, even before that when the ogres had invaded…but it wasn't all bad. The times he'd read to her before bed. The times he'd smiled proudly when she finally began reading to him. How he'd taken time to tuck her into bed as a girl. Given the greatest hugs, especially after her mother had died. It was hard to reconcile that man with the one that had kidnapped her in Storybrooke and tried to execute her happiness rather than listen to her about what she felt for Rumpelstiltskin, or the King that had promised her to Gaston like cattle because there were traditions that needed followed rather than encourage her to break away and be anything she could be.

She missed her father, but sometimes she wished she didn't.

"What about yours?" Neal asked suddenly, glancing up at her over his bowl. "What happened to your mother?"

"She died," she answered with a thick swallow, trying to contain her over run emotions. Of her two parents, her mother was the safer one to discuss, though one that she wasn't sure he could relate to given the perplexity of the relationship he had with his own parents. "She died a few years before the curse, saving me from an Ogre when I was younger...only a girl," a woman to the rest of the world but a girl inside, she didn't see that until now, how young she'd truly been. After everything she'd gone through since then...she felt like she should have grey hair.

"I'm sorry," Neal muttered, but not in the automatic way that she knew people often exchanged a polite condolence. Whether he could relate or not, he truly was sorry for her loss.

"So am I," she sighed. "But...she had a full life, we were close, and she'd be happy, proud of all that I've accomplished in the life she gave me to live."

"And your dad?" he asked timidly after a moment of silence. "Is that how he died too?" 'How he died too'. He naturally assumed that because she'd told him that she had no family that her father had died just as her mother had. It just wasn't that simple...

"My father..." she began, but found herself stopping quickly. She couldn't do it. They'd come full circle, back to her own father and yet she just couldn't explain it to him yet. He wasn't as safe to talk about as her mother. Yes, she missed him sometimes, but she missed him in a different way than she did her mother. She'd been separated by her mother by fate out of grotesque force, her father...she'd been the one to enforce that separation. Some days it felt harder than it would have if he were dead. On the days she yearned for her mother she knew that she couldn't have her. On the days she yearned for her father...the only one stopping her from going to him was her.

The silence in the room was too much, it was overwhelming the space between her and Neal was threatening to suffocate them and make her cry again. So she finished her final stitch, knotted the thread, looped the extra like the professional that Lacey was, and bit the last part off. "Here," she muttered reaching across the table to hand it to him.

Neal looked up with bright eyes and accepted it, almost looking relieved that they'd moved the conversation forward. "Thank you," he said, then looked it over carefully. Very carefully. "Wow, that's like new!" his eye brows raised in something like shock as he gave the small piece a few sharp tugs then pulled the glove on, fastened it, and flexed his hand, testing the leather. She smiled at his exploration and amazement, too intrigued to be insulted at the gesture. Besides, it was better than talking about what they'd been talking about.

"After all this time, you still doubted me?" she questioned.

"Honestly?" he asked glancing over at her as he pulled it off and set it aside. "I don't know. But...hey, I don't mean...no, I know what you do at the castle...don't take it personally! It's just...look...my dad was always the one to fix stuff like that when I was little and Emma and I never really bothered. I'm not used to being around someone besides my dad that can do that!"

"I sewed a button," she commented, rising and gathering the needle and thread up to take back to her work area, "I didn't make a dress out of curtains. Though I can now courtesy of Lacey! She may not have been good for much but she had more talent for sewing than I ever had before she came along," she muttered over her shoulder.

"Yeah, hey about that," he called out to her from the table. "I remember my dad calling you by that name and I remember Emma making a couple of comments, but we never really talked about it, you know there was a lot going on with my son and all and I was trying to avoid Papa, and I didn't really know you then so I didn't really care and I never really put it all together. And knowing you now...what was up with all that?"

She felt her fingers go numb as a wave of panic washed over her. Neal didn't know. No, he knew, he just didn't understand. Lacey. That morning they'd met him on the way to the shop. The doctor. Her jaw nearly dropped as she realized that not once since they'd come back from Neverland, not once since they'd been here together had she explained that to him! And when she looked back over her shoulder to find him staring at her, even with his face cast in shadow, she knew he was thinking about the same questions she wanted so desperately to forget! Maybe they should have stayed on the topic of her father.

"There's not much to tell really. You probably know more about it than you think you do."

"Yeah, maybe, but I kinda wanna hear it from you," he insisted. He wanted to hear it from her. Now? Really? They were really, finally getting comfortable enough in this situation to be friends, not just siblings, she didn't want that to change! Was Lacey, the truth about who she'd been, enough to do that? She hoped not. But there really was only one way to find out.

"Lacey was…" she swallowed, finally putting everything in its place and making her way back slowly to the table. It was amazing how just memories of one brief two second encounter could make her feel like she was walking to the gallows or sitting before a judge to hear her sentence. But how to explain…where to begin with Lacey! "You…you know about the curse right…what it did to us when we arrive from the Enchanted Forest to Storybrooke."

"Yeah, August told me about it, course it was a long time ago-"

"So you know about who we were when we were there? Cursed as different people? No memories of here? No magic?" Neal nodded, but still stared at her, his gaze unwavering in its seeking. "Well…when I was cursed, I…I didn't have another life in my head. Before the curse the Queen abducted me and held me as prisoner in her castle, the tower, and after the curse hit an asylum in Storybrooke where I was led to believe I was crazy because I didn't have any memories...not even a name.

"Wait, wait...go back, the Queen held you prisoner? Regina? Regina held you prisoner," he asked, his eyebrows raised, expecting an answer. Oh she'd seen that look before. _"All this time you've been here...alive!" _She was worried something about her tale might upset him but that surely wasn't it. Nevertheless, in the interest of being honest and moving on, she nodded. "God..." Neal sighed. "That's why you didn't want to stay there that first night, why you begged me to go. I was really asking you to return to your prison!"

"It's alright-"

"You should've told me! I would have gotten us out somehow that very night!"

"Neal it's fine!" she insisted loudly.

"No, it's not 'fine', Belle!" he answered. "She held you prisoner! As far as I'm concerned she better not even look at you the wrong way while I'm around!"

"If Rumple can live with it then I know you can too,"she begged.

He quieted at the comment, but she could still see the tension in his face as he tried uselessly to rub it away with his hand. "God...my father must have gone ballistic," he commented.

"He did, but it's over and done and I just want to put it behind me."

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked her over timidly. "Like Lacey?" And they were back to that. Maybe starting small talk with Neal hadn't been her greatest idea. It seemed he was covering nearly every painful topic in her life all at once.

"Regina refused to free me. She of course knew who I was during the curse and was hoping, I suppose, to one day use me against your father," she muttered, picking up right where she'd left off before Neal had his little outburst, "but that never happened because I escaped, went to your father, the curse broke, and I got my memories back. But before your father came to get you…I crossed the town line. I reverted to my original cursed state, which for me, was...nothing.

"After you were back, after your father killed Cora, Regina gave me the memories I never had…the personality…"

"Lacey," he assumed for her.

"Lacey," she confirmed. "It was cruel, the way she used me one way or another in the end to torture him. Some of those things…that morning we first met...those actions will haunt me until I die."

Neal gave a small snort. "'His new-slash-old girlfriend'…I get it," he muttered with a nod, making her raise her eye brows in confusion. "Look...I wouldn't worry about it, if I was you," he went on before she could ask. "Regina is the one that should be worried, she's lucky I'm against the death penalty but, you know, with my father, between you and me I've seen him do a lot worse than he did that morning-"

"It wasn't him Neal!" she corrected quickly. "The only reason he does anything is for you or for me. We're his light, we keep him good, and as long as he's got us then he's strong enough to fight the darkness inside him, but without us, without you...he did everything he could to say he was sorry, that he loved you, that he should have followed after you! He told me so himself! He had to make sure you were alright, even if it meant that you weren't going to be in his life he had to know what happened to you! He did terrible things and I won't say that he always did them for the right reasons, but the intention, the motivation…it was always you. Keeping you safe!

"And without me…I wasn't myself when you first met me. His first instinct is always to protect the ones that he loves, you, Henry, and me. He had to do those things to keep Lacey interested, to keep her close, if he hadn't…I don't know what I would have done or who I'd have done it with! He did what he had to do. And it wasn't good but-"

"Intentions…yeah, I get it," he interrupted, but not in a tone that suggested that he did understand her desperate pleas on his father's behalf, just that he'd heard enough and it still hadn't changed his mind. There was silence again. A lot of it. The kind that usually came just before one of them decided they'd had enough and going to bed was the only place to go from there. She'd asked a lot of him tonight, so she figured she may as well give him some space to consider it all and-

"Clothes," he said suddenly, glancing up at her as if he'd just had the most brilliant life changing idea in the world.

"What?" she questioned, falling back into her seat.

"Clothes," he stated again. "When we leave you'll need clothes."

She nodded finally understanding what he was talking about, though not necessarily why. Talking about their upcoming trip at night was becoming something of a routine. "I have clothes-"

"Dresses, yeah, but two weeks on horseback in a dress…. You'll need something better. Something that's comfortable and won't fall apart." She hadn't thought of that. She'd been brought up to ride side-saddle, an uncomfortable method of horseback and really unsuitable for the type of journey they'd be on. Neal was right, fabric like the heavy linen she'd used to make the brown winter skirt she had on now wouldn't do, it would fall apart in a matter of days.

She nodded and pulled the shawl she wore now tight around her shoulders. "I'll put it on the list."


	19. What Wasn't on the List

2 Months, 4 Weeks

The list was probably the most essential element in their plan. It was everything they needed to do, find, and have in their possession before the day that they mounted their horses and left. It was like the grocery list that never ended and although she'd never kept anything like this for chores or shopping she had to admit that a journey like the one they were planning to embark on was too big to leave things to chance and risk forgetting something. Every night for the last few weeks they'd either added to their list or moved items around as they accomplished them.

"Hey!" Neal shouted one night when he returned from the castle, a couple of small bundles in his arms. "I grabbed us a couple of blankets."

"Where-"

"I mentioned to Snow that the roof had a leak and we were getting drafts. She gave them to us without batting an eye." She smiled as she took them from him, carried them upstairs to set them in the trunk they were using to hide away their stash, then returned with the list that she carried in her bodice for safe keeping and moved "blankets" from "need" to "have".

But things didn't always fall into their laps as easily as those blankets had. Some of it required "careful removal" from the castle, only things that the royals weren't bound to notice they were missing. Like the knifes that Neal had somehow smuggled out by hiding them in his vest. And he wasn't the only one. She did her part too. They both had a past, or in her case memories of a past, that gave them skills they could use in their favor. Lacey as it turned out wasn't just good for clothes. Her "sticky fingers", as Neal muttered at the table one night when she showed him the compass she'd seen laying on a table at the castle as she'd been tailoring a dress for Snow, came in just as handy as her ability to sew did.

She volunteered to tailor for the royal family again, only now she found there was another use to it. Often times she could take large amounts of clothing with her back to the little house and no one seemed to notice that items strangely seemed to disappear from those amounts when she returned it all. During one of her searches for Zelena, Regina had been thrown from her horse when Robin Hood stepped out of the woods and spooked the beast. She'd torn the cuff of the leather pants she'd been wearing on a branch and as Regina through them into the pile to be taken that week Belle decided that if leather worked for Regina when she rode then it would be good enough for her. It would be easy enough to tell her the pants weren't repairable if she happened to ask, which she didn't, and after a few alterations for her height the pants were her own, stored safely away in the trunk with the rest of the "have" list.

But the list wasn't just for items either. It was a to-do list, and not one that told them to do the laundry or clean the rafters. No, it was a list of things they came up with in their discussions to try and earn the trust of the royal family, to prevent them from dropping by so often so that when they finally did run away, maybe they would have a day or so head start before they noticed and came after them.

Tailoring for everyone again had been Neal's idea after he'd seen what she could do with her sewing machine. Inviting themselves over for dinner more often had been her own suggestion and she was pleased to see that they were making progress with them. They no longer stopped by every day. If she was supposed to be at the castle that afternoon, no one showed up. The morning after dinners no one knocked on their door. And if Neal was out with Robin Hood, if they were hunting or doing something that the castle would know about because Robin seemed to live there more often than the woods anymore, no one came to see them. It was irritating, still insultingly suspicious, but it was also predictable enough for them to keep track of…and that was something they were counting on.

"I found your horse and I think I have something else we can add to the list," Neal informed her one afternoon. When they woke up that morning they'd discovered that her horse had finally jumped the tiny enclosure meant for sheep and ventured off on its own. Neal had immediately tacked his and took to the forest to find the steed, saying it would be a terrible thing to let such a valuable horse be devoured by wolves. Luckily when he found him he was perfectly healthy, drinking water from a stream, but still she couldn't say she was terribly surprised by his latest suggestion after that. "I can ask Robin to help me reinforce that, make it taller, maybe a little bigger, room for a shelter, make it better for something besides sheep. It'll make sure this doesn't happen again and if we're making additions that'll show the others intent to stay, right?"

"Right," she'd agreed immediately. Together they thought of the best ideas and sure enough the next day the property was invaded by men by noon. David, Robin Hood, the Merry Men, even Roland who was more than happy to use a hammer or help her get water from the well or even watch her sew for a couple of hours before he fell asleep in Neal's bed, all made it out at Neal's request for help. Together they made the once small sheep pen into a decent barn in a matter of hours. Simple, but decent. A couple of stalls with an overhang to keep the animals dry in poor weather, the walls were made higher, and the fence drawn out a little more so they had some room to roam, though not a lot because the property, or the protected circle of property, wasn't that big.

"It looks wonderful!" she smiled, taking it in before the sun could begin to set.

"Yeah," David huffed next to her, "not bad for an honest day's hard labor. Though it would have been easier if the ground wasn't frozen."

"It couldn't wait until Spring," Neal commented, dipping a gourd into the last bucket of water she'd brought. "Robin is going to come by tomorrow to help me put on a few finishing touches," he finished before turning his attention to the gourd. No, she wouldn't say the two men got along, but at least they didn't shout at each other the way they did the night before they'd left the castle. Neal treated David almost like he was an irritating bug that refused to go away, the problem was that the more he did it the more David seemed to come by with a friendly face, an attempt, she figured, to get Neal to like him again and put their fight behind them completely. She saw two reasons why that wouldn't work. The first was because at the end of the day David was still refusing to go away and the second was that Neal had too much of his father in him sometimes. Unless David turned around this very second and said "I'm sorry, you've been right all this time, let's leave for the castle now," Neal was an ally David would never win back.

"Right..." David answered watching him from a safe distance before turning to her, "and you're coming to the castle tomorrow, right? Snow's been talking about a dress you promised her all week, I've never seen her so excited about something like that." From the corner of her eye she and Neal exchanged a quick glance that David wasn't quick enough to catch. If he wasn't refusing to go away he was still babysitting them by making sure he knew where they were every chance he got. As tempting as it was to tell him to stop worrying about them, she knew she couldn't. They'd come so far since the day they discovered that map, they just needed to continue to keep it together.

So the next morning, just as she'd promised David the day before, she piled the dress she'd been working on for Snow, and a few other shirts, skirts, and one bodice onto her horse then rode to the castle to return what she'd worked on, fit the Queen, spent a few obligatory hours chatting with the people she knew, and snatching up a small hunting knife that no one appeared to have used for herself, to appease the list, before heading home. But when she finally got out of town, something made her uneasy, like an itch on the back of her neck.

She cautiously turned her head over her shoulder. There, behind her, a fair distance, was a man dressed in armor and riding a horse of his own. It wasn't entirely strange. They weren't the only ones living in the forest, people came and went from the castle all the time, but she didn't particularly like feeling like he was following her. So with a small goad she moved the horse into a trot and sped up, away from the sight until she was close to home and certain that he would be far behind her.

Only a snort that came from a horse that was clearly not her own made her glance behind her once more. He was still there, closer this time, which she could only assume meant that when she'd sped up, he had too. And the way he was watching her, studying her almost-

She snapped her reins and moved the horse into a gallop getting back to the house as fast as she could. If it was nothing then she'd never see him again, but when she looked over her shoulder he was still there! Galloping after her in pursuit! She had nothing on her, nothing to defend herself with but the knife she had tucked away and she didn't want to have to get close enough to use it. She was nearly home she just had to keep pushing faster and faster. The knight's horse was nearly on her when she saw the house. "Go!" she screamed at the beast desperate for the circle and hoping it worked as well as Neal told her it did. Neal! Neal was home, she'd nearly forgotten. She couldn't see him but she knew he was supposed to be outside working with Robin Hood!

"NEAL!" she screamed. She was so close but so was he! "NEAL!" Three more strides. Two more strides. One more stride! The sound of horse hooves on the damp forest floor were muffled as she pulled on reins inside the circle. "Neal!" she cried, sliding off her animal and glancing behind her.

Suddenly she couldn't see. A blinding white light with a strange sound like something being thrown against plastic boomed against her ears and when she could finally open her eyes again and the sounds of the real world came flooding back she saw the black horse she'd seen on the outside of the circle rearing up and neighing in shock as it's rider, thrown to the forest floor by an invisible pulse, caught his breath and quickly rolled away from the threat of the horses hooves landing on his chest. A second later she knew she was safe, the horse ran off into the wilderness leaving the rider safely outside the protected circle, and she heard footsteps racing up behind her.

"You alright?!" Neal demanded, reaching out for her shoulder. She nodded and tried to push her hair out of the way, feeling her heart pound as she tried to catch her breath and figure it all out. "What happened?!" he asked.

"He…" she managed to point at the man who was slowly getting to his feet. "He followed me home," she explained.

"Hey!" Neal shouted as the man took a timid step away, making a motion like he was ready to run. "Who the hell are you supposed to be?!"

The man opened his mouth, but the next voice she heard wasn't his, it came from behind her. "Choose your actions carefully," Robin Hood informed him in a serious tone with his bow pulled back and an arrow aimed at the man's heart. "The next words you say could be your last!"

"Don't shoot! Please! I'm an ambassador from another Kingdom, I mean no harm," the man's voice made her mouth go dry. No. Not his voice…his accent. It belonged to those that lived in her Kingdom. Her father's Kingdom.

"Yeah, well, if you meant no harm you wouldn't be standing out there right now, so forgive me if I don't believe you," Neal muttered. "What the hell did you want? Why were you following her?"

"Nothing against you," the man answered visibly fighting off a sneer, "or your friend with a bow over there, I mean no disrespect, but I don't answer to you."

"A clever man answers to whoever holds his life in his hands," Robin Hood taunted.

"But not a loyal man," he responded without missing a beat, confirming her growing suspicion. A man, an ambassador from her father's country, sworn loyalty to him, had just followed her home! That wasn't a coincidence.

"Which is why so many men loyal to a crown have perished by this bow," Robin jest back, far too easily for her taste. "Loyal men die while clever ones live. So, answer the man's question and be a clever man, or remain silent and die a loyal man." She held her breath as they watched him for a moment, his eyes examining the two men at length before he straightened his back and held his head high, letting her know the answer before it was out of his mouth.

"I don't answer to you," he stated firmly.

"But you do answer to me," she cut in quickly, not giving Robin's arrow a chance to fly. "It's why you were following me," she suggested looking him over. "He sent you after me. To what? Kidnap me again?"

"Your father merely wishes to speak with you Princess," he answered, finally breaking his silence.

"And instead of coming here and talking to me he sent a soldier after me!"

"An ambassador," the man responded quickly. "To peacefully ask you to return with me to your home to speak with your father."

"Why couldn't he come himself?"

"The kingdom is in turmoil, rebuilding just as the rest of them are...to leave it now would be a terrible mistake."

"Trying to erase my memories was a terrible mistake," she blurt out before she could think of the words. She couldn't help it. Right now she felt…she felt strong, she felt like the Princess, the Queen even, she'd always wanted to be growing up but never been allowed to. It had been so long since she'd used her title, her status in the world, but it was strange just how quickly the methods of debate, sarcasm, and word play all came back to her.

"Your father wishes to humbly explain himself to you and pass on his sympathies in the wake of your…loss." Her stomach turned over and felt like it was full of acid. His eyes said it was true…but it couldn't be. After the last encounter she'd had with her father…it just didn't sound like him at all. And she was certain her father would have no sympathy for her now that Rumple was gone, all he'd want to say to her would be "it's for the better" or "I told you so".

With a determined swallow she took a few steps toward the barrier, feeling confident it would protect her…Rumple would protect her. "You can go," she informed him loud enough for the men behind her to hear her. "You can go and tell my father that I decline his request and if he truly has something important to say to me he can come here himself and say it."

"Please," he urged, "please just let me explain!"

"You've explained enough," she responded, not wanting to hear anymore. "Just go. And tell my father not to send anyone else after me. Ever." She stared at the man for what felt like hours, looked him in the eye and challenged him to defy her, to try and take her, but with every passing second she felt a little bit of her bravery ebb as sadness began to make its way back into her mind. She missed her father and she knew she shouldn't, but she did. Bringing back old memories as the ambassador had was not an easy thing to put on a brave face through, especially knowing Rumpelstiltskin wasn't going to be there to hold her tonight.

"You heard her," she heard Neal echo behind her after a moment. "She doesn't want to go with you and you can't take her. You'd have to figure out how to get through one hell of an enchantment and even then you'd have to get through me. Do yourself a favor and get outta here before my friend's arm gets tired." Robin Hood was still holding up his arrow then and Neal was still being protective. She was fortunate that he could be strong when she couldn't. When the man finally nodded and began walking away she appreciated it.


	20. When the Tables Were Turned

2 Months, 4 Weeks

She couldn't look at either of them as she turned to go back into the house. She'd been hoping to tell Neal about her past when the time was right, not when her father sent someone to uncover exactly who she was! It had been an awful way for the secret to be dragged out in the open! The thought of catching Neal's eye, after that?! It turned her stomach. Tears were already welling up in her eyes as she cast her head down, ignored the silence in their small protected bubble and the feel of their eyes following her, staring at her. She collected the materials that had miraculously remained on her horse's saddle through the gallop then quietly went into the house and shut the door behind her. She made it as far as her work table before she felt her tears finally fall from her eyes and the worst thing was that she didn't even know why she was crying!

It wasn't as if her father had just showed up and dragged her away, like he'd had her hauled off to the mines! But maybe that was part of the problem…he just kept getting it wrong. He wanted her back, that much was clear. Last time, instead of talking to her he'd tried to send her across the town line and wipe her memories. This time…this time he hadn't even bothered to show up himself, just sent someone after her to take her back to him. Who knew what would have happened if he'd succeeded in taking her, how the situation would have changed if she hadn't made it behind the safety of the perimeter in time. Would he have talked to her as he had? Or would he have dragged her back to her father kicking and screaming? What would have happened once she got there? Would he have refused to listen again? Without a town line would he have imprisoned her? Forced her to marry Gaston? Or would they have talked like the man said he wanted to?

Did she want that? Did she want her father to take her up on the offer and come see her? What would she do if he did? She shouldn't want to miss him, she'd thought of this not long ago with Neal…but sometimes she did miss him.

The dying light outside burst in front of her face as Neal opened and closed the door. As soon as her eyes recovered she realized she was staring right at him and he was staring back at her. Neither said anything. Neither blinked. They just tried to read one another's expressions. It was a painful reminder. If he was Rumpelstiltskin she'd be able to do it. But he wasn't. And his stony expression, even after nearly three months together, was unyielding in telling her what he was thinking or what he thought about what he'd just witnessed. She wondered what he saw reflected in her own face. Was she an open book to him right now in her shock and confusion? Or was she just as unreadable as he was?

"I, uh…I told Robin he could get back to his son. Roland's at the castle and it's a long ride so…" it was a good effort on his part, probably a tactic she would have used on his father. But breaking the silence didn't mean he'd gotten rid of the awkward event. The way his voice trailed off like that, prompting her to pick up where he'd left off, she knew too well that it was the place he'd hoped she'd explain what he'd just seen. But, at the moment, she'd couldn't think of anything she'd rather do less than talk about what had just happened...talk about the father that Neal thought was dead.

"I need to start dinner," she answered instead, rising quietly from her work table and wandering into the back of the house. Neal said nothing. She could hear him behind her, shuffling awkwardly, staring at her, and she knew he was thinking about the right thing to say next that would get her to say what he wanted to hear, but…

It was strange, having the tables turned on her like this. When had she become Rumpelstiltskin, the one that didn't want to talk about her past? The one that left rooms and avoided questions and changed subjects? She knew what Neal was doing all too well because she'd done it a million times with his father and each and every time was only more and more frustrating! She should sympathize with Neal! She should turn around, treat him as she'd always wanted to be treated, divulge the secrets he wanted to hear! But she just couldn't. She should sympathize with Neal, but suddenly it was her lover she found herself feeling sorry for. Being on the other end of the questioning gaze she could feel on the back of her neck…it didn't feel good.

And it wasn't that she didn't want to tell him! It was simply that it wasn't the right time. After what just happened it was all too raw, too real! And, really, how would he ever understand? She knew, that while Neal loved his father, it was only partially because of that love that he wanted him back. Getting him back had more to do with Emma and Henry than his father and if he heard the tale, if telling him about her father led to a place she didn't want to go, didn't want him to know about yet for fear it would only serve to tarnish the way he saw his father? No. She couldn't risk that. And being in his place for once, trying to make him see that…how had he lived with keeping secrets for as long as he did?

She did her best to ignore his eyes and emptied a bucket of water into the cauldron and set it over the fire to boil as she went to the cabinet and pulled out carrots and potato's Ruby brought them the last time she checked in. It wasn't enough.

She ignored the itch on the back of her neck and pulled out a knife, began chopping and mincing. It still wasn't enough!

She could see him there out of the corner of her eye, leaning against the wall, just watching her, staring at her, like if he did it long enough he knew that she'd eventually give in! It was a method she'd never used before and at the moment she honestly didn't know why because it worked too well!

She dropped the knife onto the table and leaned against it, hunched her shoulders as if she was in pain, or struggling to stand because she didn't like this feeling of being torn. She wanted to keep her past to herself until the time was right! She wanted to protect his father! But she wanted to be honest with his son, her friend, too! Was there a way for anyone to win?

"I'm fine," she insisted without meeting his gaze. "It's nothing to worry about."

She heard Neal sigh, clearly unsatisfied with the answer. "You told me you didn't have any family."

"I don't," she insisted automatically.

"The guy that nearly got himself killed to take you home might disagree," he muttered. "And what the hell was up with all the pomp and circumstance!" he stated suddenly, his voice rising clearly agitated. "You have a father that sends and 'ambassador' after you! That practically bows down to your every whim and calls you a princess! Who the hell are you? Royalty?"

"Not anymore."

"Yeah, I don't think there's any kind of 'opt out' option for that in a place like this! Are you or aren't you? Should I be worried that some King is going to come arrest me?"

"No!" she yelled, finally looking over at him. "I won't let that happen! If he comes at all it won't be for you, it'll be for me and it's not exactly something I'm expecting to happen!"

"Why?" he asked, desperate but almost gentle as he took steps toward her instead of away. Now she knew why he'd always shrunk away from her when she did something like that. It was hard to keep distant when someone was trying so hard to be close. "I mean…I'm trying to understand all this," he went on. "But outside Rumpelstiltskin, outside of these last couple of months I don't know anything about you. Where did you come from? Who were you here? How, exactly, did you meet my father? Why would you tell me you don't have a family if you do?"

Because she'd been afraid that he would have taken her back to them when he asked and in the state she'd been in when she arrived…she didn't know if she would have fought him or refused.

Because she knew even then that she hadn't wanted to go back there, that it wasn't home or where she had family.

Because deep down she still didn't feel after all these months like she had a family beyond the man standing with her now in this room. And she'd rather live in this tiny house with him than risk him not feeling the same and taking her back to a palace with a father that had tossed her aside over the man that she loved and needed more than the air in her lungs.

Because until now she'd always worried the second he realized she had somewhere else to go, he wouldn't stay with her any more.

"I didn't think you'd understand," she answered quietly.

"Understand what, Belle?!" he pressured as if he'd heard that phrase too many times in his life. Knowing him, the little she had come to realize, and his father, he probably had been. In this very house he'd probably heard it just as much as she had in their home in Storybrooke. That only made it worse. As much as she wanted to protect him from the entire tale of what had happened between them, she didn't want to be the next person to tell him "you wouldn't understand."

"I don't have a family," she admitted, turning to look him in the eye. "At least not by conventional standards. Family isn't always blood, it's something more. Family is something, someone, who loves and accepts you no matter what you do, who you are, or who you love. My father isn't someone like that…not anymore, not since I met Rumpelstiltskin. I didn't lie to you in that diner. He was-is my family, the only one I had until…"

Until he'd taken himself out of the picture.

Until he'd left her Neal.

Until she realized she had a True Love and his son.

Until she realized she had a big brother and a best friend she hadn't planned on…and maybe something a little more than that.

"My father didn't exactly…approve of my choice to be with your father so he kidnapped me and tried to send me over the town line…before I was Lacey."

Neal glanced around for a second, his mind working through the small detail she'd left him with before squeezing his eyes shut tight and shaking his head like he didn't understand. "Anyone who crosses the town line…they revert back to who they were before the curse broke. But I thought you said you had no cursed personality, you would have been…"

No one.

It only took a second for him to realize the conclusion all on his own. And when he did he seemed to take a deep breath and look away from her as if he couldn't believe he'd missed it.

"Exactly," she muttered. And suddenly, thinking about it, reliving it and describing it all over again, it killed the little appetite she had. In a heartbeat she avoided Neal's gaze, suddenly feeling like a lost little girl and wandered out to the sitting room. She grabbed a shawl and went back outside.


	21. When Enough was Enough

2 Months, 4 Weeks

Glancing around to make sure Robin Hood really was gone and that the man wasn't waiting somewhere in the forest for her to emerge again, not that she thought he'd dare after last time, she left the warm house for the bitter cold bite outside their front door. Wrapping herself up, wanting a task to keep her busy she wandered over to the well to draw water for the horses, but when she turned around, Neal was there.

She nearly jumped at the surprise, fascinated by how quiet father and son could be, but at least she couldn't be frightened of Neal any more than she could Rumpelstiltskin, not after everything that had happened. No, she couldn't read him like she had been able to his father, but she was getting better at it and she knew the look on his face now. Walking outside hadn't gotten her out of any conversation and the way he was sitting on the bench by the side of the house, where they'd talked once nearly a month ago, his elbows on his knees, staring at her with his eyebrows raised told her no matter where she went she wouldn't get away from him. Their conversation wasn't over…and she couldn't decide if she wanted it to be or not.

She knew how frustrating it was for someone to avoid something that needed to be talked about, so she gave up, she left the bucket there on the ground and sat down next to him with a sigh that sounded less than pleasant. No, she didn't like it when the tables were turned on her like this. "I would have told you eventually," she whispered honestly. It wasn't as if they'd been friends forever, or even for a year! They'd only been living together in this house a little over a month! She knew if they'd had more time it would have come up again eventually, and now that she really believed they were in this together, she wouldn't have been afraid he'd abandon her. That moment just hadn't happened yet...at least not as naturally as she'd wanted it to. "It just-"

"Belle, you don't have to explain. I get it," he interrupted, "you know, I really do, I get it. I'm the poster child for understanding that sometimes the family you have isn't the one you were given and wanting to keep the real one a secret so the one you make doesn't find out." That wasn't exactly true…but looking at Neal as they sat there, as they exchanged glances and whispers, meals and stories, emotions and bonds that she couldn't quite put words to, well, maybe it was more true than she knew it was. Maybe he did understand it. Maybe he understood it better than she had.

"Emma?" she assumed. She didn't know much of their history together, but she knew that it had to extend beyond Storybrooke, that it must have been strong. They'd had a child together after all and while she knew that bonding wasn't exactly a necessary component to that process, she knew Neal well enough to know that he wasn't that type of man.

She watched as the corner of Neal's mouth twitched into a smirk. "Yeah…Emma for one. She came along like some kind of miracle and I think we both recognized the same kind of desperation in our souls for something more than…let's call it friendship, a partner in crime even. And you know…we, uh…" he pushed himself to his feel and scratched the back of his head, doing his awkward uncomfortable shuffle as he tried to find the words for a feeling that she knew was too layered to ever be properly defined. He didn't just understand her, it was mutual. Even in the short time they'd known each other, with their vast age difference, and the way they'd grown up…they understood each other. "Emma and I…we didn't always have a roof over our heads, at least not a stationary or 'conventional' one but we did alright for ourselves," he finally settled.

But she was intrigued and besides, she didn't want to go back to talking about herself and her shattered past at the moment. "How did you two meet?" she questioned gently.

Neal glanced back at her, his smirk gone, his gaze uneasy. Neither of them liked to talk about their pasts, especially parts that might be painful. It was something else they shared: secrets. She'd never had them before. She wasn't really sure she liked having them now. Did Neal?

Finally he sighed and reached down to rip out a handful of brown, hibernating, grass to pick at, yet another way to occupy his hands. "After I escaped Neverland," he explained, "I wound up here-there!" he corrected quickly. "It was different than I remembered it. A lot of time had passed and I was in a different place than England. I, uh…I slept on the streets. Found a couple nice shelters and made a few friends. But someone turned me in one day and I got placed in a group home…the uh, worse version of foster care.

"It was pretty bad. And you know…I faced lost boys and Peter Pan, right? But that place made them look…I kept thinking that I escaped the island of nightmares to wind up in hell and when they finally found a foster home for me…I, I just couldn't take it anymore. You know it sounds good in theory. Parents volunteering to give homeless children a stable life, but…it wasn't always like that. I mean I'm sure some are nice but mine was just…it wasn't for me. I knew it wasn't forever and there was no way in hell I was going to go back to another group home, so...I split the first chance I got. The streets were better. And after Neverland…outrunning cops was kind of a joke to be honest. A game."

It didn't sound like a life she ever would have chosen for anyone, even her worst enemy. She could understand why he wanted to avoid talking about it, but could also see why he needed to. In the back of her mind she knew he hadn't answered the question that she'd asked, just let his mind wander as he told her the story. She understood. But she wanted to hear about how rock bottom could get better.

"Is that where you found Emma? On the streets?"

Neal smiled again and she beamed with him, for the radiance the memory of the woman put on his face. "She found me actually...years later of course," he corrected, tossing the grass aside and taking the seat next to her again, his nerves ebbing. "More or less. I, uh, I stole this car for some rich high school kid. Real snob, but he paid me five hundred bucks to steal the car his grandmother bought him so that his parents would buy him a new one with the insurance money. I was leaving town anyway and he offered to send me off with money and a car. It was a good deal so when he gave me the keys I took the bug, and left. Never got caught, not across state lines!

"And met Emma?" she prompted, waiting on the edge of her seat for the conclusion of the story.

"A few weeks later," he stated. "You know five hundred dollars isn't exactly enough for a guy to turn his life around so that car was more or less my world. One night I parked it in this little ally so I could sleep, my own high end form of a cardboard box and when I woke up the next morning there was this, this girl! Woman! Breaking into my car! You know she didn't even notice me in the backseat because she was too busy looking for the cops, but she was…perfect!

"A thief, like me, beautiful too, I can't deny that! And a car thief that manages to take care of themselves, not to mention a woman…well, if you've never been on the streets you wouldn't know, but that's pretty much an impossible combination to find.

"And you know you don't really 'date' or anything like that, not the way we lived. Sneaking into movie theaters and amusement parks, stealing food and clothes, trying to stay off the radar, but…we were idiots. I shouldn't have been surprised, you know, with Henry. It was only a matter of time…

"We both wanted more than that life. Home, a family, stability! But then August came around, he explained about Storybrooke and the curse and…told me I had to let her go so she could fulfill her destiny…" Neal sighed and leaned forward, he folded his hands as if he was praying and touched them to his lips as if he was trying to keep something in. As if prayer was the only way to keep it in!

"Not a day goes by…not a day went by that I didn't wonder if I'd made the right choice for her…for us; that I didn't regret what I did. I let my best friend go, I let my son go all because freakin' Pinocchio…"

He didn't need to go on. He could, if he really wanted to. She could ask him to fill in the blanks, the bits she didn't understand…but he didn't have to. Like father like son.

She reached up and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You let them go because you love them. Because it was what was best for Emma and for the hundreds, thousands of people you didn't know!" He glanced sideways at her and the pain in his eyes was too much to bear. Was that what his father would have looked like if she hadn't come back?

"Yeah," Neal whispered after a moment, his voice harsh as if he was fighting back tears. "Lot of good it does me now. They don't know I love them. Henry probably doesn't even know…you know he probably doesn't know my name! Emma's last memory of me now is turning her into the cops, betraying her, and she doesn't remember Storybrooke so she must think..."

Tears pooled in her eyes as he choked on his words and a realization slammed into her faster than she could prepare for it. There was too much regret in his life, in his father's life already. Too many mistakes. Too many "what if's".

Enough was enough.

Emma and Henry were family. Their family. Hers. Just as much as Rumpelstiltskin was. Neal deserved to have them again, just like Rumple deserved to have her in his life, even if he didn't always think he did. No matter what was between Emma and Neal now, love or friendship, more or less, they deserved the chance to see where it would take them. And Henry…he deserved to know his father, not just his name. Enough.

"Neal," she turned toward him and reached out for his hands, hoping he'd see her serious determination. "I think we've waited long enough and done all we can. I think it might be time to stop planning and figure out how to leave, get away. I know it's still cold. I know they may not want us to, but…they aren't going to stop checking on us, or if they do only more time will go by, and it'll never be as predictable as we hope! I hate the idea that one day we'll wake up and realize two days have passed and we missed our opportunity! We have a job to do. Our family is depending on us, we can't let them down by waiting any longer!"

She sighed and moved closer to him. Let her hand wrap around his arm and her head rest against his shoulder, feeling every word that had just come out of her mouth, every emotion that had just come from his heart! "It's time to go," she muttered. Enough was enough.


	22. The Shape of the Plan

3 Months, 4 Days

It was time to go; time to leave! It was time to get their family back no matter what the Charmings or the world thought about them or what the weather said. They both agreed, had always agreed that they needed to do it, but neither really knew just how much they'd been holding back until the day her father sent someone after her.

The next few days were busy. They were both in agreement that it did need a bit more planning than "lets pack up and go this instant" but at the same time their departure was no longer a foggy idea in the back of their heads. It was real, it was living and breathing, it was solid. Now they spent their time making sure they were ready to go so that when the time came they were prepared. They went over their lists, sought out the items that they needed, all the while still keeping appearances up around everyone outside their little house. But at meal time, dinner, the discussion became exclusive to the day they planned to leave.

"We have blankets and some stuff we could throw together for a makeshift tent if we need it," Neal muttered one night looking over their list. "Though I suppose I could actually get us a tent if you want."

"We won't have room," she reminded him. "We can only take what he can carry on horseback, a cart won't get us there fast enough and the others might get suspicious."

"Agreed. I think we'll be fine on food," he went on, "I'm decent enough with a bow and arrow and while we aren't rich we're not exactly paupers. I think we should be able to scavenge berries and buy bread if push comes to shove. Compasses, knives, my sword…you have clothes ready?"

"All set. I'm nearly done with some layers I took from the castle a couple of days ago. Which reminds me I picked up an extra cloak for you," she informed him, "yours is getting too beat up running around all day with Robin and if we're going north and sleeping outside you'll need it."

"Thank you," he muttered before looking down into his soup. The table got quiet, strangely quiet, before she noticed the blush barely visible in the firelight at the odd angle and realized what had just happened. She'd mothered him again. And she should feel bad for it, she should apologize, and try harder not to let it happen, but she liked the strange warmth in her belly that came from doing it. She liked that he didn't ask her to stop or fight her on it anymore. She liked that specific brand of affection she had toward him in those moments, even if he was hundreds of years her senior.

They'd never be a normal conventional family, even when they did get their missing pieces back. But she liked thinking that there was, at least a little bit, a small, tiny percentage of their strange relationship that would probably be considered natural by normal standards. She was in love with his father, wanting to take care of his son, learning to mother the more and more time they spent together…it felt right. And if the blush was any indication, the way he hid his gaze, and didn't tell her to stop, well, after the childhood he'd had she thought that he liked it a little bit too. Though there was no need to dwell on it, or make him uncomfortable. They had other things to talk about...more to consider that would give them no trouble in making them uncomfortable.

"What about the witch?" she asked, shifting the conversation. She hated to ask, hated to think about it, they'd heard nothing from her since they returned the villagers but living away from the castle meant that they might not be getting all the information they could be. She was certain that someone, probably Robin Hood would, would tell them if there was a development, if she'd been caught or found, but she couldn't be sure. And for as long as they were going to be gone, they needed to take a moment and consider the possibility that they might run into her.

But Neal only glanced up and shrugged, confused. "What about her?"

"Well...she is out there somewhere, we've planned for everyone here but for her-"

"I don't think we need to worry about her," he stated quickly. "She's been quiet ever since that day with the villagers and it's never been us she was after, just Regina. We'll be fine I'm positive."

"And if we're not?"

"Then you can say 'I told you so' while she grilles us alive," he smiled smartly, joking with her. She rolled her eyes at the comment and wanted to respond but she could tell that he was confident that she wouldn't be a problem, there was no reason to doubt him she supposed. After all, he was right. Zelena seemed to make it clear that it was Regina she wanted, not them.

The next day Neal warned her that he'd be back late from a hunt, that he was going to stay and have dinner with the Merry Men and try to discreetly come up with a good time leave. They were excellent trackers and they both thought that they would be among the first the Charmings looked to in order to find them again, but Neal had a bit more trust in them than she thought. He wanted to tell them their plan, after months of talking with Robin and making friends with them he suspected that they would understand what they were doing and it was his hope that if they did turn to them in the days after their departure, they might lead the royals astray in some way and purposefully loose them.

Still, that was a gamble. She knew it. Neal knew it. And it wasn't worth the risk…merely the hope that the men would figure it out for themselves and do just that. So as she made herself dinner that night she stared at the map alone. She went over every detail of the route they'd drawn up, trying to pick out possibilities of where they could shelter and hide themselves in the event that the royals caught up to them. But it wasn't until she expanded her search that she noticed something they'd overlooked. A town she'd nearly forgotten about. One that may solve their problem entirely if Neal would-

A scraping at the door had her scrambling to fold the map and hide it!

"Hey! Whoa! Only me!" Neal stated coming through the darkened door and watching her struggle to hide their evidence from outsiders. "Only me, I promise! Sorry I forgot to warn you-"

"It's fine," she breathed, setting a hand over her chest and trying to get her heart to stop racing. They both knew that when they left the other alone in the house they were supposed to tell them before they came in the door they were back and whether or not they had anybody with them to prevent instances of panic like this.

"Actually…it's better than fine," he told her with a smile that seemed almost excited. He grabbed her arm and forced her back into her chair before removing his cloak and taking the opposite. "We just hit the jackpot! Robin went hunting with us today and he brought news from the castle. News for them…great news for us."

"What?" she asked, already hanging on every word. She hadn't seen him excited like this since…well she'd never seen him excited like this. Never, not once in their time together these last few months.

"A way to escape," he whispered across the table, making her heart feel like it could burst in their shared excitement.

"We can leave?! How?"

"They're having a dinner next week at the castle…no, not just a dinner…it's a party. They've already invited people from around the other Kingdoms and they're just now getting around to us. It's supposed to celebrate things being back to normal-"

"There is a witch on the loose and they're celebrating?!" she interrupted, barely believing the words coming out of his mouth. It didn't sound like things were back to normal! They couldn't be, they'd only been here a little more than three months! Wasn't it premature?

"Yeah, I know," Neal sighed, looking like he was trying to catch his breath. "It's stupid, but I think we can use it to our advantage. It's a party right, not just one of the dinners…and we know they don't bother to check on us the mornings after those. Sometimes they go the whole day and with what it sounds like they are planning, I'd bet on them taking the day to rest and entertain the out of town royals before they concern themselves with us again."

"You want us to leave during the party?"

"No, not exactly, not during, that would be too obvious if we don't show up. I'm thinking we stay late, come home in the early hours, pack, and get out of here. It'll be a long day for us. We'd have to be up that day like normal to get ready to go and for the party. Then we wouldn't be able to sleep when we come back here or that day, we'd need to put as much distance between us and here as possible, but if we get it right we could be miles from here before anyone even realizes we're gone!"

Or they could be closer than he planned on. His plan, the idea she'd had just before he'd come in…it all fit together perfectly, as if the realm were telling them that they'd waited long enough and it was time to go, now was perfectly opportune. This could work!

"Actually," she corrected, "I don't think we have to be that far away. I have a better idea, one that might throw them off completely…" she added looking at Neal, wondering how he would feel about this sudden change she wanted to make.

The excited flicker she saw in his eyes didn't waver for even a second. He merely gave an excited nodded and raised his eye brows intrigued, "I'm all ears."

It was small, probably insignificant to him, but she liked the way they worked together. She liked that she felt like she had voice around him and that he heard her out before making a decision. After feeling tossed aside by everyone in Storybrooke, including his father on occasion, it was nice to know that someone saw value in her planning. "I've been looking at the map," she informed him, laying it down on the table between them again and moving around to stand over his shoulder. "If we leave they'll know where we're going, we made it pretty clear that we want to go to the castle and they won't need trackers to come after us they'll just go along this path here," she informed him, pointing to the direct route they'd drawn up to the castle. "It's the most direct route to the castle. That's what they'll expect us to do."

"Yeah, you don't want to do that, though?" he assumed.

"No," she confirmed. "You see this village here? To the West? I've been there before. A long time ago, the first time I met Philip actually. You remember, I told you about the Yaoguai. I don't know what will be left of it now, but I say we go there first and stay for a couple of days, then head up this way: through the forest, the outskirts of Aurora's kingdom, the desert, around this lake here, then get to the castle by going down south into the mountains, from the back. They'll never find us because we won't be anywhere near the most direct route."

Neal was quiet for a moment. He stared down at the map and she imagined his eyes going over the place she'd drawn the invisible track with her fingers. "It certainly has the element of surprise," he muttered finally. "It'll take more time though. Another week or so at least-"

"We've already waited this long," she insisted, finding the bright spot. She'd been able to put that together for herself when she looked at the map, but in her mind, after three months…what was another week or so? "If we're not careful and we get caught we might not get another chance like this! I'd rather we take another week, than wait for another year or two for the time to be right again…wouldn't you?" she questioned.

He glanced back at her over his shoulder and she could see him weighing the option that she'd given him with all it's pros and cons in his head against the route they'd originally discussed. Neither was perfect. They both had flaws and they both had their strengths. The direct route was predictable, but it wouldn't take as much time. And since they'd been planning on it for weeks she felt like they already knew it backward and forward. But did they know it well enough to outrun skilled trackers and royals determined to give their daughter a shot at a normal life without ever knowing the truth of who she was and who she loved?

This route, the one she picked out, it would take longer. It would be trickier because they hadn't been planning on it for as long as they probably should have. They didn't know how accurate this map was after everything that had happened but going this way was anything but predictable. If they weren't worrying about staying ahead of their pursuers, about getting caught, they could take their time with it. They could make it work and even if they established guards at the front of the mountain it wouldn't help because they'd be going in from the back!

"What the hell?" he finally sighed. "It's risky, but it's a good plan. We'll do it. Next week, when everyone is tired and drunk, we'll let them sleep it off somewhere…and that's when we'll disappear."


	23. The Great Escape

3 Months, 1 Week, 5 Days

To say that the next week was busy with preparation to leave would have been a lie. They were busy. But it wasn't their unexpected departure that kept them on their toes, it was everyone else. It was Robin Hood who wanted Neal to come hunting with him to make sure there was plenty of game for the dinner. It was Snow White that invited her to the castle and asked her and Neal to come in person instead of via invitation. It was Ruby and Granny that helped surprised her in the Queen's room as she fit Snow for the dress she wanted to wear, when they unexpectedly pulled her back into a room she'd never noticed before and showed her a beautiful pink ball gown, the likes of which she hadn't worn for decades. "Do you like it?" Snow White asked with a wide smile. "It's just, you've been so helpful with making things for us that we wanted it to be something special for you. Something you didn't have to make and design on your own-"

"It's...it's wonderful!" she interrupted, because she was honestly stunned with just how happy a gift like that managed to make her feel…before the black pit inside of her swallowed her happiness up whole. She didn't like lying to them. She didn't like being secretive and keeping their plans from them and imagined that if they'd been supportive the mission she and Neal shared then they might have actually stood a chance at being great friends and working well together. But as it was she felt as though her secrets built a wall up around her, her and Neal, the same kind of wall that she'd always wanted to destroy around Rumpelstiltskin. One way or another there was nothing easy about any of this. But with any luck, once she had him back, at least she wouldn't always feel a stab of guilt every time something good happened without him.

On the day of the party, she and Neal got together what they could. Of course they continued to stash it upstairs in the trunk on the off chance that someone stopped by, but no one did. They left for the castle early afternoon to get ready there. Secretly she liked wearing the gown, pulling her hair up and putting twists and pins and barrettes into it. She liked wearing shoes that were delicate and made her feel tall. She liked wearing something brand new that was all her own, something that hadn't been owned by anyone else before, or something she hadn't had to make with her own hands. Neal, on the other hand, looking completely uncomfortable from the beginning. He tugged on the clothes that David had loaned him and smiled when he saw her, but in the big brother, joking kind of way that said "I can't believe I'm doing this" and made her smile right back.

"Well I'm glad one of us looks good," he muttered when she finally moved through the crowd enough to join him.

"You look fine," she insisted, swatting a hand away from his collar and using a trick of Lacey's to make sure it wouldn't itch so much.

"I think I'd rather go to the Super Bowl naked than wear this," he admitted as she fussed.

"You'll be fine for one night," she reminded him. And he was. They were. When the doors finally opened for dinner he politely offered his arm, knowing already that she'd want to take it, and they sat together at the table. They engaged in quiet conversation with those around them, some they knew, like Granny and Ruby, Philip and Aurora, who she'd nearly forgotten was pregnant and had a lot to say on the subject, and some they didn't, like the royals that she knew by name only but not by face. It seemed like nearly everyone was there. Gepetto and his small son Pinocchio were there. A bug that she'd nearly swatted sitting on the boys shoulder turned out to be Archie! There were even fairies buzzing around the room! And yet, one person that she'd been on the lookout for and prepared to address was absent. Her father wasn't present. No one from her Kingdom was. And it came as a relief to her! The couple of times that someone had said they'd once heard of a "Belle" she was happy to say that it wasn't her, she just didn't tell them that it had been her once upon a time.

Snow White and David seemed to be enjoying the festivities. They smiled at each other nearly every time they caught their eyes and silently raised glasses with wordless gazes that she still hated because she wanted to be able to do that again someday in the future. With any luck…in the very near future.

There was dancing after dinner. A familiar tradition that she hadn't practiced since she left her father's palace but was able to pick up again right away. Robin Hood asked her to dance. So did Roland, which she happily accepted in opposition to any of the other strangers around her….

"Anyone you know?" Neal asked her as she finally stepped off the side, after Roland had to go to bed and Regina unexpectedly volunteered to take him.

"A few," she admitted, watching an exchange between Robin and Regina, thinking back on the few people that she'd met before in a life that felt more like a dream than a reality. Especially when those people had barely paid her a passing glance, not the slightest bit of recognition they'd ever met her, before moving on. "Though no one who appears to recognize me, even dressed like this. I've changed."

"Change isn't always bad," Neal muttered next to her. And she was more than happy about that. Not to mentioned stunned by how much inner change could affect the outside. She always felt like she glowed around her Rumple, smiled more, was at ease in a way she never had been before she'd gone with him. She'd always wondered if anyone besides her would see those changes. As another woman, the third daughter of the Kingdom next to her fathers, walked passed her, her eyes skimming over her features and moving on quickly after determining she was nobody she realized they did see the changes.

"No," she smiled back, "sometimes it's for the better. You don't dance?" she asked, looking him over and noticing the way he stayed away from the twirling couples as if they were infected.

"Not unless I've had too much to drink and no one wants to see that. Besides the Waltz doesn't really come in handy in Neverland!" She didn't push the issue, not when she could see how uncomfortable it made him. So instead she spent the rest of their time watching the others, enjoying the good food while she still could, and counting down the hours until they set their plan in motion. Neal, had been carrying around a wine glass all night. He hadn't been drinking, merely tossing the contents into plants or other glasses when it was convenient. When the time was right he slouched into a chair and she told the Charmings they had better go. That she'd had too much to eat and Neal had too much to drink and they would rather be on their way.

They didn't seem to pay too much attention to the fact that she didn't look like she wasn't feeling well. Actually they didn't seem to pay too much attention at all! It was clear that Snow White and her Prince Charming had more than her and Neal on their minds at the moment. Normally looks like that made her blush and in the last few months their flirtatious glances made her feel uncomfortable and sad. Tonight they made her hopeful. They were distracted and she knew all too well that sometimes a distraction like the one they had on their minds wasn't just something that lasted through the night, but also into the daylight hours. For once she was grateful for the bond the two of them shared, it was what would help her in their journey to restore the bond that once was tied to the gaping hole in her own soul.

They offered them their old rooms of course, told them it was fine if they stayed the night, but she turned them down, stating she just wanted her own bed and was sure Neal would be more comfortable at home as well. She thanked them for the nice time, and for the dress, told Snow White she'd be by later that week to fit her for a gown she was planning on wearing on a trip that she knew was planned in a month to visit the dwarves and fairies at the mines, and with a final good-bye collected Neal. She changed upstairs, she was already going to break so many of the promises and favors the royal family had asked of her tonight the least she could do was not ruin the gown they'd got her by riding back to the house in it. When they both finally reemerged and did their best not to run down to the stables, feeling like they were suddenly living on the clock, he glanced down at her.

"Do you think they suspected?" he asked.

She only shook her head and mounted her horse. "At the moment, unless we were an empty room or a four poster bed, I don't think they'd notice much of anything." It was a few moments before Neal seemed to understand the meaning of what she'd said and sighed. They took off without another comment to one another though she could have sworn she heard him mutter "thank God for wine and true love" before they began making their way home as quickly as possible.

She was tired. Truly she was, she could feel it in the back of her mind, like a fog that wanted to crest over her mind and take her down into her dreamless sleep. But she fought it. She let herself be excited. She let herself follow after Neal and believe that these were the first steps of their adventure. And living with a time crunch, it was easy to ignore the call of her body and focus on the shout of orders.

"Alright," Neal muttered the moment they were back inside their protected circle, "the faster we do this the faster we can get out of here and the more time we have to get away. Can you get all the stuff in the trunk out while I change?"

She'd nodded and done just that. As soon as the curtains to his makeshift bedroom were closed she began making trip after trip up into her loft to get everything they'd collected outside. She was just about done by the time Neal reemerged and told her he'd pack while she changed herself, so she went up into her loft, tied her hair out of her face, and pulled on the layers of clothes she'd been creating just for this moment.

A pair of stockings, to keep the coming cold away. Regina's leather pants, properly trimmed and fitted against her. A white shirt of David's that he'd ripped on the corner of a table. A vest that she'd found in one of the chests downstairs and had to smile at the thought that it had once belonged to Rumple. A coat that had once belonged to Snow White and boots that Aurora had given her. She was a sight, without a doubt. But she felt like she was prepared for a war, to go out into the world and get the man that she loved back. She felt right.

By the time she stepped outside to find that Neal had packed the horses she realized that the sky wasn't nearly as black as she would have liked it to be. Time was going by too fast.

"The sun is coming up," she pointed out as she stepped up next to him. He glanced at the sky quickly, then went back to checking the ties on her horse.

"We've still got a couple of hours. By the time it's up we'll be far from here as long as we leave…right…now!" he concluded, finishing the tie and patting the beasts rump. "The fires out in the house?"

She smirked at the question as he handed her the reins. He'd never liked the house. At least that was what he claimed. However the inquiry about the fires suggested otherwise. If he didn't care, then he wouldn't mind if the house burned to the ground. She didn't know what would happen at the end of this adventure, if they'd ever return here, if Rumple would be with them soon…the ending was just as uncertain as the beginning had once been for them, months ago when they'd first arrived and she could barely stand because life hurt so much. She still hurt, she felt like she ached day and night, but it hadn't been nearly as bad as it could have been. She didn't feel nearly as hopeless as she once had. The house had been part of that. Part, but not all and she couldn't help but wonder if Neal felt it too and looked at the house differently than he had when he'd left it as a boy. She certainly looked at it differently than when she'd first arrived. Then it was salvation...now it was home.

"Bae?" she whispered, looking the small space over and feeling incredibly sentimental about it…and the man that had brought her here.

"Yeah?" he stopped his sudden motions, stopped getting his horse ready, and watched her looking worried. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…" she said holding back a laugh, because for some strange and odd reason, for this one second, everything was just fine. Maybe even better than fine...even with Rumple gone. What a horrible thought. "Nothing, I just wanted to…thank you," she finally choked out. "For everything, thank you."

He knew. He understood. He didn't need to say anything for her to see that. The silence wasn't awkward, wasn't meaningless, and didn't beg to be filled. In it he simply reached out, touched her shoulder and squeezed it. The gesture was worth more than any words he could have offered her. She didn't feel like she'd done anything for him, not like he'd done for her, but the feeling was mutual. It was a good feeling.

Finally Neal gave a deep sigh and glanced around them, looking at the sky and breaking their brief connection. "Alright, enough of this sentimental stuff. We gotta get out of here. You good to go?"

Ready to go? To leave? To put this place and these last few months behind her and go on to retrieve the empty space inside of her? Without a doubt, without a hesitation, she moved around Neal, unhooked her horse and climbed up in the saddle, making herself comfy for the extended journey, happy he'd realized pants were a necessity for this, and looked down at him with her eye brows raised. She was ready. Was he?

Neal grinned ear to ear, acknowledging her silent dare, and climbed onto his own horse. "Then let's get the hell outta here!" And without a second glance they turned their backs on their house and began their journey home.


	24. Between Then and Now

3 Months, 2 Weeks, 2…3 Days

If she had to make this trip with anyone Neal was the person to do it with. And it wasn't just because he was probably the best friend she'd ever had, it was because he was also the most resourceful friend that she'd ever had. He knew how to survive. All those years he'd spent in Neverland, running from lost boys and pirates…they weren't a complete waste. He knew how to navigate, look at a map and compass and figure out where they were. He knew how to plot and run away, hide their tracks so that if anyone followed they'd have a difficult time figuring out where they were. But most important of all in the middle of the day, he knew how to scavenge.

They were far away from the castle the first morning by the time the sun rose, according to plan. But they were tired, both of them. Riding a horse was just as mundane as driving a car without music, maybe even worse than that. But they couldn't stop, not then. They wouldn't be at the village she'd pointed out until night fall and they had to stay alert and on the move just in case the royals discovered too early they'd disappeared, so despite their heavy eyes they had to continue on. But Neal knew exactly what to do.

He pulled the horses off to the side so suddenly her horse neighed in protest. "Neal?" she questioned as he swung down and went into the brush.

"Here," he picked a couple of large leaves off the bush and handed them to her. "Chew these."

"What are they?" she asked timidly taking them from him.

"Don't remember the name, but for our sakes it's just lucky they grow year round," he said almost sluggishly, like he was also dying for a nap. "But they'll help keep us awake. We'll be a bit charged for the rest of the day, but that's not such a bad thing right now to be honest." He plucked a few more off the bush and popped them in his mouth, chewing quickly before he spit the green foliage out. Was it her imagination, the placebo effect, or did he look more awake already. "They taste nasty but they're effective," he commented reaching out to pick a few more and chew them up.

He didn't seem to be dead and she trusted his judgment right now more than she trusted her own slow working mind, so she placed the ones he'd given her into her mouth and chewed. Her nose turned up at the sickly taste he'd warned her about, but by the time she spit the leaves out, just as he'd done, she was surprised to find that she felt a bit better. Like Lacey after her morning coffee. Wordlessly he offered her some more and despite the taste she was desperate to feel awake again and took them. He tried some of the berries nearby but barely put them on his tongue before he spit them out.

"Blue death," he whispered, reaching for his water and crushing the berries beneath his boot as he quickly washed his mouth out. "Tricky little bastards. Not a difference between them and blueberries except for the taste. Sorry," he apologized.

She didn't blame him, not one bit. He couldn't help what grew and what didn't! They'd find something to eat later. "Will you be alright?"

"Yeah, you're fine just so long as you don't eat them," he assured her. So they took some more leaves "for the road" as Neal said and it wasn't much longer before they did find some winter berries growing that they could eat. They weren't exactly tasteful but food was food.

Together they traveled as quickly across the land as the horses allowed them. They galloped as often as they could, but took it slow when it got icy and to help them stay on track. Neal knew all the tricks. He made sure they traveled through water, to make them difficult to sniff out, through grass and over rocks to avoid tracks, and offered leaves whenever one of them started feeling their "wired" buzz begin to wear off.

"Wait, wait Neal!" she finally called as they made their way across a slopped forest. "I know where we are."

"You do?"

"Yes!" she smiled happily. "Yes, look!" she moved her horse around his own and glanced at the place she'd never forget. It was over grown, a tangled mess of vegetation, but she'd remember this hill, this view, for the rest of her life. _"I'm coming back, Rumple!" _How strange that she was here, once again, ready to trek across kingdoms for him…though hopefully with a better result than last time. Neal trotted up next to her and broke her concentration and snapping her out of her memory. So she pointed out to him the small village she'd once saved a prince from a horrible curse. "That's it! That's where we need to go!"

"Doesn't look half bad. I never came here with David but it's not exactly in their kingdom. And it looks like they're rebuilding, same as we did."

"Will it do?" she questioned, relying on his expert opinion. She knew the village but she'd never been on the run like he had. If he said it wasn't safe, then she'd trust him and they'd go.

"Only one way to find out," he smiled. "Hey, do you have another cloak? A longer one?"

The question took her by surprise. From a safe place to stay for a few days where the royals wouldn't find them…to a cloak? Despite her confusion, she shook her head, looking down at the cloak she wore now, covering her knees. Why would she carry an extra cloak? Neither of them had brought extra clothes, hoping to make this trip as light as possible! He knew that.

"That's not good enough," he muttered then reached up for the buckle on the cloak he was wearing and settled it over her shoulders. "You'll swim in this, but a woman in pants is a strange sight here. You'll stick out when the goal is the blend in. If we cover you up you'll be fine."

She sighed and began to buckle it around her neck, noting that he had a point. Dress. Pants. She couldn't seem to win in this realm and as they rode toward the village she had a moment of longing for the world that they'd left behind, where a woman in pants, even if she'd never liked to wear them, wasn't a reason to turn heads. The Enchanted Forest could benefit from some of the customs they'd picked up. Fashion, electricity, plumbing…

The village wasn't exactly as she remembered it, but it was bustling. She strategically placed the cloak around herself as they traveled through the streets and looked around the familiar square, wondering if anyone would recognize her. They didn't. At least no one acted like they did. It wasn't a surprise. It had been a long time since she was here with Mulan and Philip.

"Does that look like an inn to you?" Neal asked after a moment, pointing to a stone building down the street.

"That's what the sign says," she informed him.

Neal baulked at her for a moment, surprised at what she said. "You know the language? Why didn't you say that?"

She smiled and felt a blush creep up her neck. He sounded impressed and she liked that after months together there was still so much to discover. "I'm…" somethings she'd rather not talk about until it was time, even if an ambassador had given her past life away, it just wasn't who she was now. "I'm a librarian. Languages have always come easily to me," she told him before moving her horse forward. She was tired, it was getting dark again, and she really just wanted to hunker down for a couple of days and hope they weren't discovered.

There was a man outside the inn. He seemed to be building a wall or a small garden of some kind outside his establishment. "I can talk to him if you like?" she muttered as Neal looked at him.

"No. No, I've got it, just uh, try and look…pained."

"Pained?"

"Yeah, pained. Like…oh, hey remember that time my father hit that guy in the street when you were Lacey?"

She felt her face screw up at the suggestion. She was confused but also horrified. She couldn't help it; that was the first thought that always came to her head when those images pushed their way back inside her head. That was why she did her best not to think of them. "Yeah perfect! That look! Just look like that the whole time and we'll be just fine!" Before she could ask what he was up to he'd swung down from his horse and approached the man building the wall in front of the inn.

"Hey!" the man turned around at the voice looked at Neal, then eyed her suspiciously. Pained. She was supposed to look pained. Why?! "Hey, listen, my sister and I have been out trying to find our folks but she fell off her horse and hurt her leg. It's alright, I was a doctor, you know, back in Storybrooke, but I need a place to look her over, make sure it's not broken and let it rest for a couple of days. We don't have a lot of money but I promise we won't be a problem. What do you say? How's business?"

He was probably the most impressive person she'd ever met and she struggled to keep that "pained" look on her face and not trade it in for complete admiration. It was a simple, logical, and completely believable story given what had happened to them all! And asking him about business? Genius! Earning a little money was better than none, anyone who knew business would know that! The only downfall was pretending not to resent Neal carrying her into the room the keeper gave them like she was an invalid…though she supposed that was what she was supposed to be at the moment. Besides, the moment the horses were sheltered and the door closed behind them, it was hard to think of anything except for sleep.

So they slept.

He moved a chair over to the window, closed the shades, and fell asleep sitting up. She curled up on the bed, too tired to fight him on the arrangements, and slept deeper than she had in months. When the sun rose the next morning…they waited. Neal sat at the window, watching carefully in case anyone caught up to them and they needed to run. She understood the importance of it and they took shifts. He watched out the window, she stared at the map. She kept watch afterwards, he left to find them some food. He watched as they ate and she let him have the bed the next night. The following day they got as much rest as possible. Even if they weren't asleep they took their turn on the little bed and closed their eyes, knowing that this was probably the last bed they'd see in a while if the rest of this plan worked…and it seemed to have worked just fine.

No one showed up on the streets for them. No one.

She was sure they'd know they were gone by now. But if they hadn't stumbled upon them yet, with their tracks growing colder every minute, she knew it was unlikely they'd find them. Even if they hadn't realized yet and did manage to track them here, the trail would surely be gone by the time they arrived. "Hey, I brought you food," Neal commented, coming back into the room a few hours later.

"Thanks," she said taking a piece of bread from him and a bowl of soup that the inn keeper's wife had made for them yesterday. "How's my leg?" she asked.

"I told the owner it was just a sprain and we'll be on our way tonight."

"Tonight?" she asked nearly choking at the news. She figured they'd get at least another day!

"Yeah," he said almost guilty scratching the back of his head. "Better to travel at odd hours. Not that it'll matter, if they haven't found us yet it's a good bet we shook them off our trail. This was a good idea."

"Thank you," she smiled, quickly slurping down more soup as her stomach had that warm feeling again, the one she had when she felt like they were connecting on a deeper level than friendship. Rumple would be impressed, happy even, when he saw the kind of relationship that they'd developed, the kind of relationship she knew he'd secretly hoped they would all have. "So," she cleared her throat and glanced over at him again. That was for later, the future, after they left here. There were still details to be discussed. "Will I be able to walk out of here on my own, or…"

"Nah," he insisted, "lean on me and we'll be convincing enough. Course we could always find you a stick to use for a cane if you're more comfortable with that," he teased.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. She could say that she wasn't the one that ever had to walk with the cane, but she could remember how odd those days after Neverland had been, walking on his arm when he didn't need it, when he didn't need to accommodate his awkward gate. The sad truth was, when it came to him, she was more comfortable with the cane than without it.

"Neal…how did that happen, exactly?" she heard herself question before she could ever remember wanting to know.

Neal looked her over, his spoon half way to his mouth. "You don't know?"

She shook her head. "Not exactly." Of course she had always wanted to know! She'd asked once, before the town line incident but all she'd really gotten was a vague answer. It was an old injury, he'd done it to himself so he didn't have to fight in a war and could be sent home, and he'd done it out of desperation so he wouldn't leave Bae fatherless. She knew it was all the truth, but a few facts didn't exactly make a story!

"Ah..." he dropped his spoon back into his bowl and rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, I mean, I wasn't there, it happened before I was born and he didn't really like to talk about it, but the story was…well it was pretty well known in the village. It wasn't anything to be proud of but basically, from what I remember, he was drafted into The First Ogre War, not long after he and my mother got married. The night before some big battle, I know…I guess he got cold feet, or something like that, and he more or less broke his ankle on purpose so he'd get sent home…kinda like shooting yourself in the foot I guess. And of course doctors and medicine being what it was then...well I guess it never healed until he had magic."

It wasn't much more than she originally knew, but it answered questions she hadn't been looking for answers to. Meaningless facts she didn't know why she'd never questioned and important ones that suddenly fell into place. Drafted into The First Ogre War, probably as a young man, just after he'd been married. That made him two…maybe three hundred years old. Somewhere in between? She'd been right all along, he was centuries old either way. And the fact that the whole village knew what he'd done and talked about it enough for his son to know the story…that explained where he'd gotten one of the ideas that haunted him until the day he'd died. A horrible accusation he'd worn like a brand until the Dark One created a mask to hide it behind. A name she'd called him herself when she'd began to peek behind that mask.

Coward.

But he wasn't. She knew better now. She knew him better! He wasn't a coward. He hadn't run from battle he'd told her that much! Neal was missing part of the story. The most important part! The part he'd left with her.

"He did it for you," she muttered, her quiet voice loud in the silent room. Neal looked at her cautiously, suspiciously almost from where he sat on the bed. "He didn't tell me how it happened, not exactly, not like that…but he told me why. It was for you. He didn't want you to be fatherless. You were always the most important person in his life. You always will be." And she was perfectly alright with that. It was how it was supposed to be. A parent was supposed to place their child above every other relationship they had. As much as she'd enjoyed being his number one priority for a brief moment after they returned from Neverland, she would never mind being second to Neal. In fact, after all she and Neal had been through, these new conversations, the exchange of emotions and stories, after all they would go through together…Rumple might just have to get used to the idea of being second to Neal on occasion. If he ever needed anything, even just to talk, or share a quiet meal like this together, she'd do it.

"How did my dad know I'd be fatherless if I hadn't been born yet?" Neal asked suddenly, looking her over with intense curiosity. The question caught her off guard. He hadn't been the Dark One until later, she'd managed to put that much together though that was another story she wanted to learn. But Neal had a point, without his foresight, how had he known?

"I'm…I don't know. He never said…but I know it was true Bae-Neal," she insisted quickly. She didn't know how it was true, but she knew it had been. He couldn't lie to her where Neal was concerned. He withheld information about him from her…but he'd never lied about it. "I don't know how he knew but he did. And he did what he had to in order to get back to you."

Neal was quiet for a moment, his gaze distant as he thought about it for a second. It was second hand information, she knew, but she hoped that he could rely on the fact that she hadn't lied to him in their time together either. She'd avoided certain topics, but she couldn't lie to him.

"It kinda makes sense though, doesn't it?" he said suddenly. "Why he'd go through such extreme measures, now even then...you know, with Peter Pan being his father…my grandfather! Henry's…" he seemed overwhelmed at the sudden realization. She couldn't entirely blame him, it was a lot to take in and she'd been reading wild fantasy's since she was five! But he was right. His insistence on being a perfect father, on not abandoning his son…it made sense knowing what Pan had done to him.

They made a remarkable team. She would never have put it together without Neal, at least not that fast! And he would never have known the entire story without her knowledge of it. They each held a different piece of him, different information and stories. Together they could put the fractured man back together. Now…and in the future.

"God!" Neal continued to baulk, making her forget the tears that had threatened to spill out as the warm feeling grew in her belly. "This family is so messed up…Henry's gonna need some serious therapy when all this is over!" he muttered turning back to his soup.

She couldn't help it. She laughed.


	25. A Shocking New Identity

3 Months, 3 Weeks

To say the journey was difficult would have been a terrible lie. But to say it was easy wouldn't have been the truth either. It wasn't the worst trip she'd ever take across the lands, that would have been the trip she'd made when she fled the Dark Castle after Rumpelstiltskin had kicked her out. But it certainly wasn't as lavish or protected as some of the trips she'd made growing up with her mother and father either.

However, the company was far better than any of those trips had ever been.

She enjoyed traveling with Neal, having him by her side day and night. His expertise were invaluable and his presence was a beacon, keeping her hopeful, making her smile. On rare occasions even making her laugh for a brief moment before the hole in her heart made her chest burn for his father. They worked well together, had complimentary skills. When they stopped so he could hunt, she picked the berries he'd taught her were safe to eat. When they decided they'd traveled enough he could build a shelter and fire out of anything and she had a knack for making the small space they shared comfortable no matter where they hunkered down. And they found themselves "hunkering down" in a variety of places.

After they left the village, the first few days were easy because it was a terrain that was familiar. They traveled through forest after forest, passed by trees, bushes, and over more dirt than she'd seen in all her life. And the further North they moved the more alive their surroundings became. Snow gave way to crystalized mud then finally softer earth, lush green trees, and weather so warm they both felt comfortable taking their cloaks off during the afternoon. They ate berries, edible leaves, and Neal hunted quail and turkey. They stayed under canopied trees, made a tent out of the blankets they'd brought, and got lucky enough to find a cavern the night before rain poured down over the ground and they both agreed that they couldn't move with the weather as it was. So they spent that day planning. Looking over and double checking their maps and plans. It was a good thing they'd stopped when they did for rain, the next couple of days required delicacy.

"According to this it's the outskirts of Aurora's Kingdom," Neal explained to her. "It's far from the castle, hers and my fathers. We'll get closer in a few days. I've never been to this part of her Kingdom but from the looks of this it has the potential to be problematic. It's not exactly a desert but I don't think we'll find much shelter, food, or even water. And deserts this time of year are going to be an issue all their own. Hot during the day really cold at night."

"So what do we do?" she questioned looking at their reserves. They had blankets to keep warm with, and they were used to traveling in cooler weather already. But as far as food went they had a couple stale loaves of bread left and she could ration the berries.

"I'm gonna set some snares, hope we catch something to take with us. It shouldn't be too hot during the day, nothing we can't handle but I think we should sleep then instead of travel. If we go at night then we'll be moving and won't have to worry too much about staying warm."

"I'll wait to see if the rain stops, maybe I can get us some more food before we go."

"Works for me," he agreed before leaving to hunt.

They'd been on the move for a week, but she felt like it was going better than they could have planned, even with the rain. She liked that they took it easy, that they could stop for a day and there was no loss. They rested in the time they had. He hunted. She filled canteens. They both cooked and laid down on opposite sides of the fire they'd made and just like every other night they found themselves exchanging stories. No. Tonight was more than stories. Usually they exchanged funny situations they'd gotten themselves into, something to keep morale up through their journey. She told him about falling off the ladder, he told her about teaching himself to drive a car…but tonight something had scratched at the back of her head.

He'd been to Aurora's castle before? He'd been in her Kingdom? How? She should have put it together sooner really, the way he asked her about Philip the way the pair of them had responded when they'd first laid eyes on him that day...she'd been dead then. Too dead to care or talk. She wasn't tonight. "When were you in Aurora's Kingdom?" He told her about what had happened before he went to Neverland, after he'd left Storybrooke. The moment that Rumpelstiltskin thought he was dead. It wasn't exactly the story that she expected it would be. She knew bits and pieces of it, because he'd told it Rumple, who had in turn told it to her, but by then it hadn't been nearly as detailed as she would have liked, as the story really was!

From Storybrooke, to the Enchanted Forest. From a Aurora's kingdom to his fathers castle at the guide of Mulan, a friend of his as well! She'd never known that! And it was on that same journey that he'd met Robin Hood, protecting Rumple's belongings. She liked that he'd done that. Though she suspected that his intentions probably had less to do with nobility than they did finding adequate shelter for his child and men. The from the Enchanted Forest to Neverland, using that dreaded shadow Rumple had warned her about months ago. It had been an adventure for him then, a long week! But that wasn't even half of it.

"It sounds like a trial," she commented when he finally finished.

"Yeah but you wanna know what's really messed up about it?" he asked suddenly perching himself on his elbow so he could look across the fire at her.

"What?"

"Tamara. She shot me and sent me through a portal and all that but before that...I was supposed to marry her...I thought I loved her and after all that...I don't miss her. Never did! Not even a little! And now I just…" she watched as he collapsed back down onto his little make shift bed, staring up at the roof of the cave shaking his head. Now what? He doubted he ever had loved the woman that shot him? Questioned why he didn't care more? Months ago she would have told him that he was in denial or just trying to cope with how much she'd hurt him. But now she knew Neal and she knew that if he suspected the feelings weren't there he was probably right…they had never truly existed to begin with.

"I think sometimes we convince ourselves that we feel something in order to survive," she insisted pushing herself up on her elbow so she could see him over the fire. "We settle for something less than we deserve because we have no other option," she suggested.

He turned his head to look her over, his eyes suspicious. "More experience?" he questioned. Yes but she hadn't been aware that she'd been speaking from experience, not until he questioned it. If she had she would have…probably still told him. The truth behind her experience didn't have to reveal the truth behind how she'd met his father. It didn't portray her hero as a terrible villain. If anything it would make him look good!

So she sighed and laid back down against her own thin blanket. "I was engaged once," she explained. "And I was never happy about it, but I think I convinced myself that I was in order to cope with it, in order to accept it. I don't think I really let myself consider how much I didn't care for him until it was over."

Neal was quiet for a minute, too quiet. So much that she didn't want to dare turn her head to look at how he'd received that news. "No offense," he muttered finally, "but I have a hard time picturing you doing anything that you don't want to do, especially if it doesn't make you happy."

She smirked. Sometimes he didn't just remind her of his father…sometimes he sounded like him too. "It was a long time ago, before I met your father," she explained staring at the rocky ceiling. "I was a different person before I met him, he…he made me stronger, too." A lump rose in her throat as her hand automatically reached for the golden band she'd once worn on her right hand in tribute to his memory, to keep him close in Storybrooke when he was away in Neverland. It was gone now, but sometimes she still felt like she wore it, like the ghost of it was sitting on her finger, taunting her.

"So…you and my father…did you two ever think about…you know the whole marriage thing?" Neal asked next to her so quietly that if the cavern they were in didn't echo with his words she'd have wondered if he said it. Marriage. Had they thought about it?

"Once," she admitted turning her head to see his son. If she kept looking at the ceiling she'd inevitably start to cry and she didn't want to do that, not anymore, not now that they had finally started this journey. She only wanted happy memories. "Just after you got back from Neverland," she informed him, purposefully leaving out the details. "Nothing official it was just an idea, a thought…" a beautiful thought and great idea.

"You think it'll happen someday, after all this is over?"

Did she think it would happen one day? Marriage. Not just engagement, not just the second name she'd requested that night, but marriage! Husband and Wife. The thought filled her with an excitment she hadn't had since they'd talked about it that night they were alone. True love…was there anywhere else it could go?

"Probably. I imagine it will. I hope so. I can't think of anything I'd rather do with him back in my life."

Neal nodded almost absent-mindedly, as if he was thinking the idea over, trying to figure out more connections in their family before he sighed and settled back against the blanket that made up his own makeshift bed and shut his eyes, finally deciding to sleep. "I could get used to an idea like that," he muttered.

She felt her jaw drop. He could get used to an idea like that? An idea like marriage? Like his father being remarried? Remarried to her? The man that once told her not to mother him could get used to the idea of having her in his life like that permanently?! The fluttering she felt in her belly disappeared, it turned back into that warm one she felt herself feeling more and more often the last few months.

She understood it this time. Maybe she'd always understood what the feeling was. Maybe she just didn't want to admit it to herself because it made him uncomfortable and she didn't want to risk making him feel that. But now she knew, she didn't feel like she could deny it anymore. She was many things. Things she wanted to be and things she didn't want to be. Princess and librarian. Daughter and true love. Caretaker, rescuer, friend, little sister, and so much more. But she'd never let herself think of herself like this before, the way Neal had just suggested.

Mother.

She felt motherly, maternal for him. Despite the fact that he was hundreds of years older than she was. She'd meant it, that day in the diner when she'd promised that she wouldn't mother him! She had understood his desire not to be mothered and respected it, she'd wanted them to be friends, two people that could claim they shared a single commonality, Rumpelstiltskin. But everything was different now. She knew she had been mothering him on occasion, that it was a fleeting instinct she couldn't help at times, born of her desire to help and be kind. But it wasn't just that anymore. They'd grown so much more than she ever thought they would have!

She was his little sister sometimes. He was her best friend other times. But every now and then, when that feeling rose in her belly, she felt like she was his mother and he was her son. And she liked it. She liked feeling that simple and complex emotion; that tie to another human being, even if Neal wasn't blood. And it was an idea that he could get used to? Did that mean he wanted to get used to it? That despite the fact he'd said he didn't want to be mothered, despite the fact that he didn't know how to be mothered, he enjoyed having this layer in their relationship as well?

The feeling grew in her belly, nearly bringing her to tears as she gazed over at him in the dying firelight. Caretaker. Lover. Librarian. Wife. Step-mother. She'd changed so much from the moment she first met him, become so many things she never thought she'd want to become, so many things she'd never even considered. But she felt more like herself with those aliases than she ever had. It was…overwhelming. It was-

"Don't get too excited," Neal muttered after a moment, his eyes still closed in the aftermath. "I'm gonna need lots of bribery before I give my permission. I'm thinking more than a T-shirt from possible honeymoon destinations. Veto power on the names of any sibblings. Lots and lots of baked goods. Brownies, cake, cookies…and don't be stingy on the chocolate chips otherwise it's not worth it."

She smiled at the humorous comment. If she had to guess using some quick witty line to dispel nervous energy after a serious conversation was another habit he'd picked up from his father. He did like the idea of her. He liked the idea of her and his father…and Neal being all part of one family. He just wasn't necessarily ready to admit that he did just yet. She understood that after what his family had put him through. Rumpelstiltskin wasn't the only one that needed to heal from the past…Neal did too. And she was more than happy to help with that in any way she possibly could.

"So long as you promise never to spoil your dinner and always go to bed on time," she teased right back.

Eyes still closed, Neal broke into a wide beaming smile, a grin that was just short of a chuckle as he understood the hypothetical language they were speaking. "Deal," he whispered happily.


	26. Home Is Where The Heart Is

3 Months, 4 Weeks

They never actually returned to the subject of marriage. Instead, just like the night they'd shared by the fire, the night he'd kissed her, they left it there in the cave the next morning when Neal woke her up with his booming voice declaring "Hey, rain's stopped, we should move on." She'd agreed, despite the early hour, they'd gotten their small camp together and left on horseback within the hour.

The next few days weren't nearly as bad as they'd planned for. They'd spent the day trekking through the woods again before she realized that they were thinning, the ground becoming harder and dustier than what she'd come to expect with living in the forest. Neal was right, it wasn't exactly a desert, but it felt like it was well on its way to becoming that within a century. They were both well aware that winter was on the way, a concept that made her shiver just thinking about those mountains. Their journey across the dead land was cooler than she would have expected for a desert-like landscape, but because there was nothing growing, no trees, no grass, not a drop of water, moving or still in sight, there was no shade or shelter for them and after living and traveling in the forest for months, she was beginning to regret her choice of leather pants. They spent a day under the shade of a blanket, then got up that night and made their trek through the land, sticking to vegetation whenever it did pop up, wearing cloaks and wrapping themselves on blankets to keep the thin cold air from freezing them. Fortunately for them the next night the forest reappeared and after checking the map, Neal declared that they hadn't gotten turned around and were still on the right track. She nearly wept with joy.

Things got better. There were ruins, relatively new ruins that they theorized might have once been a thriving town that was destroyed by the curse and left to weather in the warm dry air. After twenty-eight years, time had taken too much of a toll and the area probably was deemed uninhabitable and the people that once lived here moved on to rebuild their life somewhere else. It would have been a sad story if it wasn't so beneficial to the two of them. Neal found some stables in fairly decent condition and a well that still worked. They made a fire, boiled the water, let it cool, and found shelter in one of the few houses that still had a roof that didn't look like it was about to fall in any second.

They slept in brittle beds that night, but beds nonetheless. For the first time since they left the castle they slept in separate rooms even! And it felt absolutely strange not hearing his breathing coming from the floor below, or being able to look across the campfire if she woke in the middle of the night and see his still form to assure her everything was alright. She suspected that if her body wasn't so exhausted by everything they'd been through sleep would have been fleeting. But when he knocked on her door the next morning to get packed up and start moving they both looked bright eyed.

They would have spent the next night on the forest floor but just before they stopped, before the sun set, Neal spotted something not far down the road. Surprisingly it was yet another abandoned village, this one a little worse for wear than the other, but still, they were able to make a camp in what she imagined was once a beautiful home for a small family. "The curse must have hit this area hard," Neal had commented looking over the map as she found a knife and took advantage of a few pots to make soup. "We didn't find anything like this when I was traveling with David."

"It's warmer here," she pointed out. "More sun exposure than down south."

"Yeah…well, the good thing is we're still on track and we'll be outta here tomorrow or the day after if we keep pace. We just have to be careful. According to this we're getting close to Aurora's castle. We don't have to get too close to it, but we'll flirt a bit with the boarder."

She put her knife down at his news, something suddenly not making sense to her. "If Aurora and Philip live here, why were they so close to Snow White's Kingdom?"

Neal glanced up at her and shrugged. "The Wicked Witch?"

"You'd think they'd want to live farther away not closer."

Neal looked as if he considered it for a moment. Then shrugged again. "Don't ask me. For all we know they just have poor judgment when it comes to vacation spots. But for our sake if they're still there that makes our life a whole lot easier."

That was true. The pair knew the two of them and no doubt had ways of making sure that a message would reach Snow and David as fast as possible if they were spotted. If they were still where they'd left them, they wouldn't have to move through Aurora's kingdom with the fear of being caught.

Still, they did their best to avoid the big cities the next couple of days. They kept to themselves and when they crossed paths with anyone were careful to use that same story they'd used when they first left. They were brother and sister and had been separated from their parents when they returned to this land. Did they know of their parents? No? Then they had better keep moving…

It was a decent story, even if it was a lie and she had to admit it was better than even trying to begin to be truthful. Who on earth would believe their connection, especially when Neal's greying hair made him look older than she was. Secretly part of her wanted to go deeper into the cities and towns they passed, she wanted to seek out an inn again and get what she was sure would be a decent night sleep and part of her suspected Neal wanted the same thing. Had they been alone she was convinced they would have broken down by now, but they kept each other in check, reminded each other of the benefits of keeping to themselves. When they finally made their way through a forest again, and temperatures started to drop again the further north they traveled, they emerged on what looked like the beach of a huge ocean-it was the large lake that she'd once pointed out to Neal on a map. Strangely enough, Neal perked up at the sight.

"Hey, I think…I think I know this place!" She looked around. It was a beach. No more, no less. No real landmarks. What on earth did he recognize?

"You were here? As a child?" she assumed, wondering if it was like the village he described their house as once being part of.

"No," he glanced around him, looking she could only assume for what she'd looked for…something familiar to him, something to confirm that he wasn't going crazy, like he expected a big flashing "You're right!" sign to emerge out of the ground. "No, it's all a little fuzzy, but I think this is where I came through when I went through the portal in Storybrooke! I mean, I don't know, Tamara had just shot me and I was unconscious most of the time, I don't even remember Aurora finding me…but I think…I think this is it."

He'd been here when Tamara sent him through the portal. Aurora had been here. He was excited about being back. "Well, that's good isn't it?" she clarified. "It means we're on the right track?"

"Yeah I mean…when Mulan took me to the castle we took the short way, we're going the long way, we'll get there by going south through the mountains instead of North, but I think it's a good thing. We can't be more than a few days!"

She felt herself sigh in relief and close her eyes as the first wave of never ending happiness swept through her. They were almost home, and the sooner they got there, the sooner she'd have his arms back around her and really be home! Then they could work on getting Neal back to where he needed to be.

"Try not to look too happy," Neal commented, "we aren't there yet and this time of the year we've got no idea how bad the mountains will be." He was right. They were in the warmest part of the realm now, but with winter ending she knew the mountains would still be snowcapped. She just hoped that it was something manageable that they could hike through in a day.

"On we go then?" she muttered, more than happy to end this journey.

"Yeah, but sorry, I can't ride anymore, I have to walk," he apologized as he swung down off his horse. There was really no need to apologize, this happened a couple of times a day. The human body could only ride a horse for so long before the legs needed stretched which was why when Neal hopped off his horse she followed suit. She may as well walk now rather than slow them down again later.

So they made their way across the beach, horse's reins in hand, keeping a steady pace but also taking their time. They'd been traveling for days and still had days ahead of them. They both knew that there was no point in tiring themselves out. Though she had to admit, as she turned to look over her shoulder and saw their footprints behind her, sometimes she missed conveniences The Land Without Magic provided them.

"I'm starting to miss the luxury of a car," she muttered as they walked on.

"Starting to?" Neal questioned. "I was there two days ago! We could have made this trip in a day if we had one…we could have gotten on a plane and been there in a few hours!"

"Have you been on a plane before?" she questioned, making small talk as they moved.

"Yeah, once. I, uh, I went to England," he told her, "to try and find the Darlings. You know, I figured I probably wouldn't find them. I knew they'd be long gone by then, but I thought maybe I could find a grave or something. It took me forever to save up for that trip, to afford the forged paper work to leave the country. I never found anything…now I guess I know why, right?" Yes. They both knew why. He'd never found a grave because they'd never died…Pan had made sure of that.

"You lived with the Darlings, they took you in, Rumple told me that…for how long?"

"Not long enough," he muttered sarcastically. "But long enough to grow up a little and start to feel like I had a home and real family for the first time in my life."

A family for the first time in his life. That was a comment that was nearly too much, that broke her heart just because she knew that Neal, Baelfire, was the first family that Rumple probably felt like he'd ever had considering his father. Was their fracture that bad? Had it existed all his life and not just before Neal left.

"You never felt like you had a home with your father?"

"Ah...I suppose...there might have been a time I did, when I was little, before the curse, maybe even afterwards but…before I went through the portal, you know the first time, I would have given anything to him to come with me, to leave and not be cursed anymore…but he didn't. That said a lot more than anything he ever had."

Father and son, both hurt, both mysterious, both just a little too particular about their words. Neal was better than Rumple was, after the last few months she knew that he was better at revealing the truth by leaps and bounds! But sometimes she felt like getting a straight answer from either of them was like pulling teeth. "Neal…" she sighed, trying to find the right words to approach the sensitive topic, but in the end she realized there was no good way to ask. "What happened between the two of you? At the portal? He never told me-"

"Yeah, that's not a surprise, right!" he interrupted. "Not exactly his finest hour of parenting." She knew that, or rather she'd figured it was something like that but she'd never heard the entire story of how or why they'd been separated.

"So…what happened?" she asked again.

"Um…" he sighed again, like he couldn't decide where to start or even if he wanted to start.

"You can tell me anything," she assured him. "It'll just be between us. He never has to know you said anything." It would just be a conversation between friends because no matter what their relationship was made up of, no matter how many layers, she knew that first and foremost they'd always be friends. He didn't need a little sister, he didn't want to be mothered, and Rumpelstiltskin didn't always need her to just be his lover. Friendship, talking, telling stories, that was a relationship that could heal.

"My father..." Neal started, "my father was great when I was growing up. Fabulous really, a better dad than I think anyone else had ever had. You know he never let the rumors, the accusations of cowardice get to him. He always made sure I had food the winters we didn't have the money for both of us to eat, always made sure the house was warm, that I had everything I needed. Sometimes he even stayed up all night spinning just to make extra money for my birthday."

"It sounds nice," she commented.

"Yeah it was," he agreed. "It was wonderful really. I always knew, went to sleep every night and woke up every morning knowing that he'd always do anything for me. And to a little boy that's a real great thought. But…there are limits. There should be limits! I learned that the hard way.

"The ogres invaded again, the lands were destroyed, men and women, kids, killed in battle, a losing war…and they kept lowering the age to fight! I was thirteen, my birthday was only days away, and they were going to take me away to fight but my father's experience in war, I think it scarred him. In his eyes I wasn't going to fight I was going to die and he tried to find a way to stop it to save me!

"We tried to run away, but we got caught. He tried…begging, that didn't work. Then this old guy, homeless I think, he told my father about the dagger that controlled the Dark One, the soldier's puppet that did their dirty work…that's how he got the idea. He stole the dagger…I thought he just wanted to use the power to stop the war, to save all the kids not just me, but when he came home I saw...he took the power on himself…became the Dark One.

"And, yeah, he stopped the war and saved the kids, everyone really, but he just…the darkness in him…it…"

Took root inside of him and grew. She knew it had nothing to do with him. The Dark One was an infection pure and simple. "He got worse," she filled in for Neal.

"Yeah," he breathed. "He got worse…bad…real bad, paranoid even. He did terrible things, became too protective, possessive…he could live with it I couldn't. He changed and I wanted my father back. So, so I went to the Blue Fairy for help and she gave me this bean that would take me and my father to a land without magic where he wouldn't be infected and we could start over. He wouldn't be a coward or a terror anymore…he'd just be my dad again." She watched as Bae smirked at the thought and it was still so clear what the boy in him had hoped would happen once they'd used the bean. He'd loved his father had a dream for the two of them and Rumpelstiltskin…

"But that night, when the portal opened and tried to suck us in, he just…he just couldn't do it. He couldn't hold onto the power and to me and…he let go of me. I landed in England and…"

That was it. That was the choice he'd made that haunted his dreams, woke him in the middle of the night, and made him work harder than any other parent in the world to get back to his son just to say he was sorry and had made the wrong choice. What a mess. How much repentance was required to make up for something like that? Was hundreds of years enough time to the son that spent lifetimes alone on an island at the mercy of someone like Pan? She'd always told him it was, deep down she believed that he'd done enough, but Neal hadn't been around to see any of it…some things were too complicated for simple answers. This was too complicated for Rumple to be forgiven as easily as he'd hoped, but it wasn't impossible.

"So…what about your dad? What happened between the two of you?" he asked suddenly, unexpectedly turning the conversation back on her. Her father?! What had happened between them? Something less terrible but equally as complicated…wasn't it?

"I already told you what he did-"

"Yeah, no, that part I got," he interrupted. "The town line, not approving of my father, that's not such a difficult thing to understand but what _really_ happened between the two of you, before that? I mean, maybe I'm reading between the lines here, but I'm guessing the guy you mentioned you were engaged to was his idea…"

"Ah…" Clever, observant men. She'd forever be attached to this family of clever observant men that picked up on the slightest of details and put the story together before she ever had the opportunity to! "Yes," she finally managed to choke out. "Yes Gaston was his idea. It was…political. But, but he wasn't always the way he was then-is, I suppose." Not that she knew, she hadn't seen him in months! And she certainly had no plans to see him as long as he thought sending Ambassadors after her instead of coming after her himself was a good idea. But still, she missed who he used to be. "My father was wonderful when I was growing up, both of my parents were, but after the ogres invaded, after my mother died my father, he just…so long as I was growing the way he wanted me too he could handle it. So long as he had control of a situation he was fine. But when he didn't, whenever I started to want something he didn't want…"

"He didn't like it."

"Obviously," she confirmed. "People change Neal, but it's not always for the better." Sometimes people changed for the worst. Sometimes they got worse then got better again. Sometimes people with evil streaks in them had a heart of gold and the best of people could let their own families down. There were hundreds of permeations.

"But Rumpelstiltskin," Neal muttered after a minute, "you think he's changed…for the better?"

She hoped so. She wished for it day and night and when they got back from Neverland, when Henry was safe and Neal was alive and she was within arm's reach for the rest of his life, yes she thought that he'd finally changed for the better. But here, with Henry gone and without memories, with Neal living with his heartbreak, not the mention the fact that when she got back they'd have to keep their distance so she wouldn't accidently break his curse…

"He's…flawed," she informed him. "And imperfect and struggles with trying to be too perfect I think, but everything he's ever done has been for his family. The worst thing that could happen to him, the worst thing we could do is leave him on his own. He's not always easy to love but as long as he has us the Dark One doesn't stand a chance."

"And you think this will work? You think we can get him back, Emma and Henry too?" They'd changed places again, they did that a lot. When one didn't have faith, then the other did for them. When one found their mission hard to believe, the other reassured them it was possible. There was only one conclusion that she could really draw from this: they were both unsure of the uncertain ending.

"I think that if anyone can help us it's him. And I think he won't rest until he sees your happiness," she promised him, carefully avoiding the question of their success regarding Rumpelstiltskin himself.

"And your happiness?" he questioned back.

"You come first," she answered easily, without a moment of hesitation. It wasn't just him that wanted that for Neal, it wasn't a sacrifice anymore because she wanted it for him too. Maybe that was part of the new bond they were uncovering day by day. "In every plan we ever made, every conversation we ever had, you were always the priority. We'll be happy when you are."

"That's a lot of sacrifice for a guy you never met," Neal commented almost absent-mindedly, but she caught the sideways glance he'd quickly given her before looking down at his feet as they walked on. He knew what it meant, that it did mean something, but he was trying to pretend it didn't. It only reminded her that he was a man, much like his father, that didn't know how to be loved in any capacity. He didn't expect such a "sacrifice" from a woman that hadn't met him and he didn't know what to do with the fact that someone had done that.

"It wasn't," she assured him. "Not as much as you might think. And I know you now, so it doesn't make a difference. This will work Neal. For all of us." Because as much as she was coming to care for Neal, if it was just the two of them for the rest of her life, she didn't know how she'd face that.

"It works out for everyone except your father," Neal muttered after a second, nearly making her miss a step.

What was that supposed to mean? What was he trying to say?! That she should have gone back with the Ambassador? That she'd given up too quickly? That she was carrying a grudge? Did it mean it was true if it all came to her mind that quickly? What had happened between her and her father, what he'd done to her, it was unforgivable! But then…so was choosing to hold onto a dreadful power over having a happy ending with your son. If that was forgivable, if Neal was trying then did that mean-

"Hey, let's uh…let's ride," Neal suggested suddenly. "The sun will be going down soon, maybe we'll get lucky and find another abandoned village to spend the night in."


	27. Anything That Can Go Wrong Will

3…4 Months, 1 Week, 1 Day

Neal had warned her that even under the best of conditions, following the route she'd pointed out to him would take more than a couple of weeks up until that point on the beach things seemed to have gone favorably for them, save for the one rainy day they'd stayed in the cave. Their favorable conditions didn't last long though. That night they found a decent area to camp in, a small clearing that would allow them to rest from the intense heat. But nearly as soon as they began discussing whether or not they should settle for this or if they should continue on, her horse spooked.

There was a loud drawn out neigh as the world seemed to spin around her. The horse reared and bucked, there was the sound of fabric tearing, and before she knew what had happened, the body beneath her was gone and she was crashing to the ground as the horse ran off into the woods.

"Belle!" Neal yelled. "Hey! Belle, hey, are you okay?!" she felt his arm around her shoulders, helping her sit up as she took stalk of herself. Her shoulder hurt, her breath was knocked out of her, and she felt like she was gasping for air. She'd landed awkwardly on her arm and back, but by some miracle managed to keep her head from colliding with the ground. "Slowly! Just go slowly," Neal urged as she pushed herself up. "Breathe for a minute. Are you alright? Is anything broken?" No. Nothing felt broken, nothing felt like it was out of place, she moved her arm a little, it was tender, but probably just from landing on it so hard. She figured if it was serious it would hurt more than it did. It was only a first glance, but she was certain she was fine.

Regina's pants on the other hand had seen better days. They were torn, that must have been the ripping she'd heard. They must have caught something on the saddle and when she'd fallen a long strip had been created down the right leg. Why had they decided it would be terrible to bring even one set of extra clothes?!

"Hey, focus," Bae insisted. "Are you alright? Can you speak? Do you remember your name?"

"My name is Belle!" she insisted right away, a question she would forever be only too happy to answer after decades of mindless imprisonment. "I fell on my arm not my head," she snapped as she glanced around her. She wasn't angry at him, she wasn't angry at anything really, but it was hard to be cheerful after taking a tumble like the one she just had. It could have been a lot more than a ruined pair of pants. "Is the horse around?"

"Ah...no..." Neal answered looking around for the beast. "No, he ran off into the woods. Can you try to stand? Please?" he urged cautiously. She took a deep breath and a moment to make sure that everything below the belly button also felt fine, then nodded. He helped her up, gently muttering "careful" probably more than was necessary before she was on two feet. "Are you alright?" he asked again. "You feel okay? You're not dizzy or anything right? Cause I gotta tell ya, I never took a first aid class and I don't think The Enchanted Forest has a decent health plan."

That managed a smile from her. Typical. He always had a way of making her smile when it was the last thing on her mind. "I'm fine," she muttered in a much more friendly tone. "My pants are torn, but it could have been a lot worse than it actually was. Thank you."

"No problem. Look…it's dark, the horse ran off to only God knows where…I'll look for him in the morning let's just sleep here for now." She nodded and pushed dust off herself. It was a cool night, they still weren't into the thick of the North just yet but they weren't exactly in the desert anymore either. Still, they made due with the little that they had on the horse that hadn't gone and once Neal started a fire she was warm enough…but her pants!

Neal went to sleep and she went through their things until she found what she'd hoped hadn't gotten put on her horse. A needle and thread. Lacey came in handy again. The fabric was torn beyond repair, but that didn't mean they couldn't be altered to at least be a little more symmetrical and comfortable. She used a knife and hacked away at the legs, then rolled the rough edges and got to work hemming and sewing. When she was finally done she had her first pair of shorts…and they were certainly short! But it was the best she could do given the short notice, it was only Neal and Rumpelstiltskin, family that would see her, and she was wearing the black tights that she'd hoped would provide warmth. She'd be fine. If Lacey could do it, she could do it. Right?

She didn't exactly have a choice.

When she woke up the next morning she found Neal's green cloak sprawled over her other blankets as the fire embers sparked, begging for more fodder. She pulled the cloak up around her in the morning chill and glanced over the pit for Neal only to find him…gone!

Neal was gone. She quickly stood up and spun around looking at her surroundings, searching for any sign of him! His horse was still there, the blankets, his cloak, it was all still in the clearing but Neal-

Bushes rustled off in the distance and she moved a step closer to the horse, wondering if she should run or hide? If the royals had caught up to them or-

Neal stepped out of the thicket and casually brushed his shoulders clean of dirt and debris. She realized how fast her heart was pumping and fought to relax. Peace. She missed peace. The kind of peace that only ever came from having Rumpelstiltskin pressed against her as she slept. The kind of peace that kept panic at bay and let her think logically instead of always resorting to worry. With any luck she'd have that kind of peace back soon…but not soon enough if she didn't have-

"Hey, sorry, I looked around and couldn't find your horse, but there were some things that fell off as he ran. A blanket, a saddlebag-"

"The food?" she asked hopefully, looking down at the little pile he'd brought back.

"Not so much luck there," he sighed, "looks like we're back to foraging for a little while, but…" he reached into the bag that he had with him and pulled out two fish. "There was a stream not too far away. Won't be too hard to strike up the fire and eat before we go since it looks like one of us is walking from now on. That's going to slow us down." Of course it would. Because they'd had too much good luck so far for things to go smoothly from here on out.

Still the followed through. Neal reignited the fire. She cooked the fish on the little that she had around her as Neal packed their one and only horse back up again. When she finally turned to hand him the leaf that contained the fish he stopped and looked at her, almost shocked for a second before meeting her gaze. "You are going to freeze in the mountains," he commented pointing at her legs.

She glanced down. She kept forgetting with the black tights she still felt like she was wearing the pants she'd had, but yes, she knew and remembered the cold of the mountains. But so long as they stopped to build fires she was sure that she wouldn't exactly freeze! It wouldn't be a pleasant couple of days but she didn't think she'd die from the cold. Besides going cold for a few nights was better than never seeing her Rumple again.

"I'll be fine," she assured Neal, quickly pushing some breakfast into her mouth.

"You look like you did when I first met you. You know the horse took your cloak and I didn't find it, you can't be comfortable-"

"I did what I could," she snapped quickly, the reference to Lacey, to that first time he'd seen her, seen too much of her and at the same time none of her at all, would probably always feel like a slap in the face. "This was the best I could do and if we stop by a village I'll find something new, but until then we need to get going. Please, I try not to mother you, the least you can do is try not to sound like my father."

Neal dropped the topic. And as they moved further north, she realized that he was right, that the cold evenings would continue to get to her but she was fine the second Neal handed her his own cloak and she wore it over herself. It was done, and there were other things for the pair of them to worry about.

After days of riding on horseback she felt like they'd suddenly slowed to a crawl. The land they'd crossed on horseback in one day now took them two, sometimes three on foot. They walked. Both of them. For the most part they used the horse they had as a pack mule, only riding when they realized that they needed a break or their feet were sore.

Just before they rounded the large lake they'd been circling for days, with and without horses, the weather took a turn for the worse. It didn't just rain, it poured. Thunder. Lightening. Hail. And at night it turned into ice and snow. They couldn't have moved through it even if they wanted to and this time there were no caves in sight to help them. Their one saving grace was that Neal was fairly familiar with this kind of weather and terrain. Her horse had taken a good portion of their blankets with him but Neal used trees, branches, leaves, anything he could find and constructed a shelter that kept them dry at least for a few hours before they had to get up and do it all over again.

After two days the rain finally subsided and there were able to make their way around the lake and back into a forest area. They were familiar with this, they'd been doing it for weeks on end now and it should have made them happy. But both felt too tired and tense to really feel happiness. They'd grown accustomed to each other on this trip but they weren't always perfect either. On occasion they both were guilty of snapping at each other and having good reason to do it.

After losing all the food she'd been carrying, nearly every time she saw a bush of berries she wanted to stop and pick, forage for food to make sure they had enough for the mountains. "Belle, give it a rest, we'll be fine!" he told her once when she'd seen black berries and nearly stopped. She'd glared at him, he ignored her, they moved on, and she would never admit it but later came to admit to herself that she had been doing it perhaps a little too obsessively.

And Neal wasn't without fault either. More often than not he insisted that she ride and he walk, but after a few hours they began stopping for "drinks" or "a break" more and more. She'd asked if he was alright what felt like half a million times and always got the same "it's fine let's just keep moving" answer she knew his father probably would have given. Finally, as night neared and she realized they hadn't gotten nearly as far as they'd wanted to she'd hopped off when Neal stopped them to "give the horse a rest" and immediately sat down on the log. "Neal!" she exclaimed leading the horse to him. "Just ride the horse! I've got two perfectly good legs and I won't break if I walk a few miles!" Without leaving room for a response she'd pushed the reins into his hands and started walking again. A few moments later she heard hoof beats behind her.

They worked well together and she never once regretted making the trip with him, but she knew both of them were looking forward to this being over, to getting into the mountains and into the castle if only for the sturdy shelter they were both sure it would provide for them. If he'd protected the house that they'd lived in then there was no doubt in her mind the castle had the same kind of protection. As much as she was looking forward to seeing him, as much as she wanted her Rumple back and for Neal to find happiness, she suspected that at this point they both were looking forward to beds, roofs that didn't leak after a couple of hours, and a little alone time.

But when they finally reached the mountains they were both struck by a sight that she was sure made both of them want to cry. Snow. The mountains were all still covered with it. There was no doubt in her mind that cold was something they both could have worked around and had been working around even with the few blankets they had left. But snow was a different story.

Neal let out an irritated sigh and leaned against a tree. "I think we need to rethink things." She didn't want to rethink things. She didn't want this to be any longer than it already was! She'd counted every day, every second since she'd been away from him. They'd been traveling for twenty-one days and she just wanted it to be over! They both did.

"It'll be fine!" she insisted. "I'll be fine."

"No!" Neal argued. "No, you won't. Forget that you won't be warm enough for a second…it's too steep for the horse. Fresh snow would have covered the path that was going to be dangerous already, we're not going up there, at least not the way we wanted to!"

"So what do you suggest?!" she fought back. "You wanted to avoid the front in case they were watching us. Can't we just let the horse go and climb ourselves?"

Neal shook his head and had already reached into a saddle bag for their map. He laid it out on a log stump and with the sight of the snow she didn't bother to pretend like she wasn't feeling the cool weather and wrapped his cloak around her again before she joined him.

"It sucks, but I don't think we've got much of a choice. It'll be chilly, but we've got the blankets. We'll just go around the base of the mountain and approach from the East. The incline up to the castle should be gentle enough that if we stick to the woods and off the main trails, unless they are waiting right there at the front door for us, which they very well could be, we can avoid them." She sighed and rubbed her head, debating if she wanted to ask the inevitable or just be surprised. After a second she realized that she was being silly, they'd get there when they got there and whether or not she knew the answer to the question wouldn't change that. But knowing might give her something to look forward to, not to mention give her a suggestion of when this would all end.

"So, how much longer?"

"It's another…four…maybe five days of travel tops," he muttered, glancing back at her apologetically. Four or five days. They'd already been through twenty-one. What was four or five more?

So she nodded, resigning them to their fate, and they moved on along the base of the mountain where the snow hadn't touched yet, where it was cold, but not bitter for one day. For two days. For three days. For four days….and yet despite Bae's best guess they still hadn't gotten where they wanted to be by nightfall but neither wanted to bring it up.

They worked seamlessly together now almost without words entirely. When they really couldn't see where they'd ended up, but made it to a clearing they both looked around, recognized they'd be safe, and glanced at each other. "May as well," she muttered unenthusiastically.

"Here's as good as the next patch of dirt," Neal agreed gathering his bow and quiver from where he'd placed them on the horse. "I'll go hunting."

"I'll make a fire."

"Make camp after dinner?"

"Fine with me," she answered. Yes, they had this down, perfectly. They knew what they had to do, where to be, how to help each other. They knew how to make small talk, but they'd moved to the place where they didn't need it. They were comfortable just staring into the fire and enjoying each other's company. Though she figured that low morale had something to do with the fact that neither appeared overly eager to continue a discussion, or tell stories. They ate dinner, they made sure they had firewood, the horse was tied up, they lay out their blankets, spread out and went to sleep just like any other night.

Dreamless sleep. But not peaceful. Not until she woke up with his fingers on her back. Not until she could lay her head on Rumple's shoulder instead of a pillow or her own arm. Not until-

"Belle! Belle, wake up!" Her eyes snapped open in an instant and she looked at Neal hovering over her in the morning mist. She quickly untangled herself from the heaps of blankets she was using nowadays, expecting he was waking her because of danger or they'd been caught, but instead Neal looked…happy? Happy? Why happy after all this time? "Come here!" he insisted pulling her to her feet, "come look at this!"

He dragged her half asleep form across the clearing almost a little too eagerly and stopped too abruptly for her taste. He pulled back one of the bushes and pointed at something just over her shoulder. "Look there!" he insisted almost like a kid at Christmas wanting to show someone their new toys.

She didn't know what she was supposed to be seeing, but she followed his direction, squinted through the blinding sight of the snow, and tried to take in details. She was looking across a body of water. On the other side was a mountain, capped with snow just like the rest they'd been traveling by, but…

Her jaw dropped.

It was just like all the mountains they'd seen.

But on top of this one, there was a castle.


	28. The Beauty's Beastly Tale

4 Months, 1 Week, 1 Day

"We..." she struggled to find the words as she looked across the small lake to the castle perched ominously on top of the mountain. They'd done it. They'd found it! "We did it! Neal, we did it, we did it!" she nearly screamed before throwing her arms around him. "We did it! We found the castle! We're home!" And she couldn't have been happier! Too many days, too many weeks of waiting and now they were here! It had all paid off in the end!

"Not quite," Neal muttered as he gently pushed her away and looked at the castle over her shoulder. A hug, even in celebration, was obviously too far over the line for him at a time like this. But that was of no matter. They'd done it! They'd have plenty of time for more bonding as soon as they made it to the castle and got her Rumpelstiltskin back! "We've still got a day, a long one, but we'll make it. You ready?" he asked, glancing down at her.

"Yes!"

Maybe. She hoped. She hoped she was ready. Every step they took through the woods would bring her closer to home, closer to him, and yet her heart pounded faster than ever before! The last time she'd been here, he'd kicked her out. She'd kissed him and he'd told her to go, to leave! The last time she'd seen those doors they were closing behind her. The last time she'd seen this road it was running away from the painful memories he'd left her with. Was she ready for it? Really ready to finally go home and confront all those memories?

Ready or not she didn't have a choice. She and Neal packed up the horse and began their careful trek up into the mountain, keeping off the road and hidden in the trees just in case someone was there, waiting for them, trying to stop them from getting this far. But they encountered no one. Saw no signs of life, heard nothing out of the ordinary, no hint that something was out of place or wrong. Instead the castle wall just kept growing, higher and higher into the sky the closer they came.

"You don't think they're inside do you?" Neal asked when they could make out the doors.

"No," she answered. "Even if they were here they probably left. We've been gone now nearly a month I don't see them waiting that long for us. Do you?" He shook his head but reached up and grabbed his bow and quiver off the horse, delicately threading an arrow against the bowstring.

"Better safe than sorry," he muttered as an explanation. Still the sight of the weapon made her shiver. Even if they were inside and they got caught, Neal wouldn't actually shoot them…would he? Neal gave an encouraging nod and the two of them walked off down the path and opened the door.

It was a surreal experience to see it there again. To be up here surrounded by snow and the castle walls. But it was also familiar and comfortable. The grounds looked a little worse for wear, but everything was right where she'd left it. The gardens, the trees, the towers…even her library. She couldn't wait for Neal, or maybe she could, she just didn't feel like taking the time to find out. Her legs automatically moved her forward, drawing her closer to the place that had originally been her prison, but felt more like home than her father's palace.

The doors opened at her touch and she felt numb, looking around the entry way. Home. The flowers in the vase were dead. Long dead. The table hadn't been dusted probably since she left. The floors needed mopped. The tapestries beat. It was funny how protective she was of it, how much pride she took in a place that she supposed had never really belonged to her! It was strange how years later she could come back inside with a task as serious as she and Neal had and her first reaction was to start plotting how she was going to clean up the mess she saw! But then again she supposed it wasn't that odd. It was vandalized and abandoned, sacked and looted by the look of it, but home was still home no matter what happened too it. This would always be home for her!

Finally she took a deep breath, preparing herself for heartache, then pressed open the door into the great room. Their room. It was worse than the entry way, not a bit as valiant and proud as it had once been, but a fire jumping to life in the grate caught her attention…and nearly drew tears from her eyes. Yes, it was still home.

A hand tight on her shoulder made her jump. Neal. How long had he been there? "There's a fire lit," he muttered quietly, "someone could be here." Clearly he hadn't been standing in the room as long as she had.

"No," she smiled, unbuckling his cloak and handing it over to him. "It's for me," she explained. "He bewitched it so I wouldn't be cold, so I wouldn't have to light it myself or ask him to do it for me…so I wouldn't see his kindness." She imagined when she finally saw him again she'd run forward and fall into his arms, that he'd hold her tight as she buried her head in his chest and held him back for a few precious moments before the world intervened. He wasn't here now, but she still found herself launching forward and falling down next to the warm blaze, fighting off tears as it warmed her numb skin. Her chair, theirs, the one that was supposed to be his but had become hers was gone. Her blankets might be somewhere in the mess but for now they too were missing. It didn't matter. This was enough after their long journey.

"Hey, can I ask you a question," Neal asked from somewhere behind her. The tone made her heart race. Neal never asked if he could ask a question he always just did…unless the question was important in some way. "My father's castle," he inquired, "how did you know about it? That this is where we need to start looking for the dagger, what he keeps here?"

"I've been here before."

"Yeah, I got that, but why? I mean I can't exactly picture my dad dating like a regular guy or anything…where exactly did you come into the picture?"

Her stomach clenched as she realized what he was asking, the inevitable place he'd finally arrived. "Like everyone else does…I made a deal."

"For what?" he pressed. Time was running out. The tale she'd been hoping to tell at just the right time, that she didn't know until this moment she'd hoped Rumpelstiltskin would be around to help answer was drawing closer.

"Freedom," she muttered, choosing her words carefully. "I made a deal for my freedom."

"Freedom from what? Your father? That guy you were supposed to marry?" he continued to prod. Maybe it couldn't be avoided anymore, not while they were here. Maybe it wouldn't go over nearly as bad as she feared. They'd known each other now for months lived in close contact, under the same roof! Maybe if she was gentle, if she used her words carefully, she could tell him the truth without lying to him. Maybe she could make him understand it wasn't as awful as she knew it would probably sound.

"Both," she muttered, casually leaving out the part that in order to gain that freedom she'd been enslaved first. Delicacy, this required, above all, delicacy. "There's, uh, there's something else I need to see...something I should show you," she relented getting to her feet and casting her fire one last warm grin.

It was what she needed to explain to Neal, to show him, to show herself if she really intended to return to the home she'd had here. It was…gone.

Her heart dropped as she made her way over to the place her door had once been, the one that took her down to the dungeons and the kitchen. There was a cabinet door open on the opposite wall that she'd never seen before, but her door was gone! Nothing but a solid wall

"Belle?" Neal prompted after a second. She was staring at a blank wall, she couldn't help it. To be in this room and not see it wasn't just strange it was upsetting! Had he been that angry at her when she'd left? So angry that he'd gotten rid of everything that reminded him of her?

"There used to be a door here," she explained to Neal. "He must have sealed it when I left," remorsefully she stepped up to the solid wall and placed her hand on the place that a knob had once been. Suddenly the wall seemed to tremble, quiver, and the wall looked as though it was on fire. No, not exactly. It looked as though the paint on the plaster was seared away at her touch. Instantly she gasped and jumped back, Neal caught her as they watched the solid wall dissolve into…

"My door!" she gasped when it was complete. It wasn't gone at all just hidden. From what? His eyes? Strangers?

"Blood magic?" Neal pondered behind her. She could hear the confusion and amazement dancing together in his voice at the spectacle. Clearly more amazed at the magic than at the reappearance of something so dear to her.

"Can't be," she answered stepping forward. She didn't know what 'blood magic' was but she figured it was self-explanatory: magic enacted by blood. But it couldn't be that. They weren't related and she couldn't think of a time she'd ever been injured here that would have caused her to bleed, and she was certain she would have remembered if he'd ever collected it from her. Besides, why would he seal it with blood magic? As far as he'd known she was dead, it wasn't as if she would ever be able to come back and open it for him? So why would he do this? Why would it give way at her touch?! Was it something they shared, something he created that would open for him and her as well because of the bond he'd broken that had once been so strong within them? It wasn't blood magic but was there such a thing as soul magic? That she could open it because they'd shared the same one?

"So, what's the door mean?" Neal asked behind her, the shock wearing off. It was now or never. Maybe the way things were between the two of them, compared to the relationship she knew he had with his father it wouldn't be a bad idea for her to explain things. She just wished she had the words for where to begin.

No, she had the words! Words that weren't hers to begin with, words that he'd used to tell Lacey about the pair of them months ago. The words that didn't scare her but reassured her. Stories were always clever tools, she knew that first hand. Maybe she wouldn't be the only one to tell this tale, maybe he could help her.

"Once…" she began opening the door and leading him down the stairs, down to her "room", "there was a princess from a faraway land. On the outside she had everything that a young noble woman should. She was engaged to a young noble man, had servants, a kingdom that would one day be hers, but on the inside she was trapped. She felt as though the entire world was spinning around her and she was helpless to live in it, forever cursed to only watch as others made decisions on her behalf, always wanting her to stand beside the hero and be rescued instead of having the opportunity to be the hero herself.

"But her Kingdom wasn't perfect and when it was invaded by ogres happiness quickly turned to fear, wedding plans to battle plans, and the people around her grew more and more desperate. At the princess's urging the King contacted a dark sorcerer, their last hope to spare their land and the people within it.

"The sorcerer said he would help, but only for a price-"

"Because everything with my father comes for a price," Neal blurted out almost irritated behind her.

She ignored him, offered only a single unhappy nod of confirmation and went on. "The sorcerer was looking for a caretaker, someone to help run his estate…or so he claimed. But the chains he offered her…they were nothing compared the chains she'd been living with her entire life. It was a chance to make a sacrifice, a good sacrifice for the benefit of everyone including her friends and family. So she agreed. She left her family, her friends, her fiancé, and the sorcerer brought her to the estate…here," she muttered when she realized they'd arrived at her room.

It looked just like it had the day she'd left. Bare, because by that time she'd moved everything up to a different room. The bed and the straw were still there, carefully preserved just like the straw and wool had been in their house. And there on the ground…the tea set. Her tea set. Chipped cup and all. She moved forward and snatched the cup up off the ground. The magic must have delivered it right back to the last place it belonged…or had he left it in here after she'd gone and forgotten about it? It looked as though nothing else had been moved, as if he was trying to preserve her memory, her smell, the things she had touched, her very soul! It was so much like him she nearly wept as she cradled it close to her chest.

"It wasn't all bad," she managed to go on, swallowing her tears and using every last ounce of strength she had not to dissolve into her sadness. "He liked to pretend he was cruel, he liked to act worse than he actually was, but the girl…I could see through it," she told him dropping pretense, though still feeling like she couldn't dare meet his eyes. She just couldn't face him right now, or the echo into Rumpelstiltskin's eyes they'd offer.

"I could see there was more to him, that he was hurt, suffering, that the façade he presented to the world and initially to me was false. No one in the world could be as cruel as he pretended to be and slowly, over time, we began to know each other, to tolerate and like each other. We began to feel something more for one another, we just didn't know what it was!" It was the beginning of the bond, the beginning of that beautiful connection he'd broken when he placed that knife into his own chest and left her with a gaping hole in the place that it used to reside! They'd both known later what they'd felt for one another, and just how true and deep it had been, but then-

"He took you from your home, a princess from her kingdom...and made you a maid?!" he clarified angrily, making her finally turn to see him, leaning up against her door frame and looking unimpressed around the room. "You ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome?" Neal baulked behind her, clearly irritated though she didn't know if he was upset with her or with his father. That was what she'd been afraid of, that he wouldn't understand it, that he'd misinterpret what the pair of them had. She hadn't heard of Stockholm Syndrome, but Lacey had and she knew how he had to be seeing his father and her for that matter in order to think such a thing. In his mind Rumpelstiltskin was the bad guy, the one that had dragged her away kicking and screaming and brainwashed her to be sympathetic towards him, but that wasn't how it happened at all! He hadn't tried to make her sympathetic, he'd tried to push her away, to make her scared. She'd fallen in love with him anyway.

"It wasn't that," she insisted gently. "If it had been then I wouldn't have been about to break his curse!" The greatest sign that it was true love and not just two adults holed up in the cold winter mountains together!

"Wait, wait! 'Break his curse'? The curse of the Dark One? What do you mean break it?" Neal questioned looking at her again, the way she wanted him too this time, with interest instead of questionable sanity.

"It's true love, Neal," she declared, suddenly wondering why it had taken her so long to say those simple words. He knew that she loved him, that he loved her, she'd used that word before but she'd never confessed to him, or anyone before really just how deep that love went, how real it was. How true. "He's not just my 'boyfriend' as everyone in Storybrooke was always so content to assume, we're more than that.

"After months together, when he realized we were falling for one another he let me go, to have my own adventures and not be held back, so that he could continue to keep his walls up and I wouldn't be a distraction, but…" But they'd done all that in the end and it still hadn't been enough.

"But?" Neal prompted.

"But I loved him," she told him confidently. "I loved him and I couldn't stand the thought of never seeing him again so I came back and that night, the first time we kissed…his curse began to break." She had to hand it to his son. He didn't flinch at the emotional stuff the way she was sure some children might hearing about the way their parents carried on their affairs. Frankly she was surprised that she didn't hesitate to tell him about that moment! She wanted to keep that little bit from him even if he did have a son of his own, but as Neal's friend…it made talking about it better. Friends talked about that kind stuff didn't they?

"Began?" Neal prompted more as she continued to look around the room amazed that it was still so familiar to her, that she could close her eyes and picture every stone, every bar, and crack just as perfectly as she would have if she'd lived here yesterday! "Wait! Began as in his curse, the dagger's magic, began to break...but didn't finish?"

Observant. Clever and observant. And sometimes she wished he wasn't so much like his father and he could just let some details rest…then again, maybe that was a detail Neal needed to hear. As she remembered his reaction that day, the confusion she'd had about it, the way it had been decades before she understood why he'd really pushed her away…if anyone needed to know that it should be Neal.

"He couldn't let that happen," she informed him. "So, he stopped it before it could."

"Why?" he asked looking utterly perplexed.

"You," she smiled. "It took me a long time to understand, it was a while before he trusted me enough to tell me about you, who you were, where you were. But it was always about you. He needed his curse, Bae. He needed to be the Dark One, to be powerful enough to orchestrate a curse so powerful to get himself back to you, so he could find you!

"He loved me, he'll always love me but he didn't want me to come between the two of you. He couldn't let himself be happy with me if it meant never getting you back. He'd already exchanged you once for power he wasn't about to do it again for me! For love-"

"That makes for a very strained distant relationship between you two."

"Or no relationship at all," she muttered sadly. "I didn't know about you then, didn't know why he wanted to shut me out, but he did. He made me leave the castle, having me around wasn't worth the temptation to give into what we had, let the curse break, settle down... So he sent me away again, this time for good. Regina captured me, I've told you that before, and after she was sure I couldn't be free the first thing she did was tell him I was dead.

"This..." she placed a hand on the wall of her prison. It hadn't always been a plain wall. She'd once smuggled a trunk down here and stuffed it full of the dresses he'd left for her around the castle. She'd used it until she had too many to fit and then she'd taken another trunk. That had been against that wall. And under the bed she'd kept the blankets that she'd foraged for herself. She'd started with nothing and turned this place into home. And now...all that was left. "This place was my home. A prison at first but I fixed it up, made it nice, lived here quite happily. He must have sealed it not long after I left," she added looking down at the dusty tea set.

"He wanted to remember you…" Neal inserted for her. Yes. He'd wanted to remember her, to have those memories because he did want her even then. He just wanted, no, needed, Baelfire more! And without his power he wouldn't have done that. She understood that now, knew that if she'd stayed or come back to him it would only have been a matter of time before they couldn't keep their distance and the curse would have been broken. If he couldn't have her, then he'd given himself the next best thing and preserved her memory…just like she'd seen him do with another part of his life.

"You deserve better than this," he muttered suddenly with anger. "Better than a fixed up prison cell or a room in a tower! And you should have told me all this before!" he strained before turning and walking away. She knew a reaction like that was likely. Maybe he hadn't been as ready as she was to see her old room, protective of her as he was, but she could fix it. She knew she could. She hoped she could.

"And you," she called after him. He stopped dead at her simply words. "It wasn't just me, he wanted to remember you too."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, trying to hide his hopeful curiosity behind his anger. She only smiled and shook her head at his silly attempt to sound disinterested. They'd been together too long, she knew him too well now for that. He wanted to know what she was talking about, which was a good thing because he needed to know, to see what she had seen decades ago. His father had loved him, he'd left her with precious information, stories, small discussions, even rooms for her to offer him as proof. If he couldn't do it himself, then she was the one that had to do it for him…at least until he came back to them.

So she left her chipped cup there in her room where she'd found it, closed the door behind her, and urged Neal to come with her one more time. "There's one last thing you need to see," she explained. Her story, their trip to the dungeons must not have completely destroyed how he saw her because he did as she said. He followed after her and she left the dungeons, her dwelling, and up the stairs, through their great room where the fire still roared, across the entryway, and into the hallway she once had considered his own. The place that his bedroom was, or should have been. The door was gone too but she didn't panic, she got the sense that if she could open her quarters with only a touch the door to his own room would open the same way and with any luck, so would the door that was supposed to be next to his own. It opened into a room she'd rarely gone into because of the relics it held, because of the relics she hoped were just hidden behind a strong enchantment.

Without a moment of hesitation she reached her hand out and placed it on the place she knew the door existed. It appeared just like her own door had, as if her touch magically burned away the false paper to reveal-

"Hey that used to be my room," Neal commented behind her. "I completely forgot about it!" He sounded astonished as he stepped around her and opened the door. It was just as she remembered. He hadn't found out that she knew about this place until the day that he'd freed her and secretly she wondered if he'd been back since that day, if it had been left to gather dust as her space had. It wouldn't surprise her one bit if it had.

"I found this when I was cleaning one day," she informed Neal, who was busy walking around looking it over as if he hadn't seen it in centuries…probably because he hadn't.

"Yeah, yeah, this was my bedroom," he told her, suddenly sounded almost surprised. "He got this castle to keep me safe, but I never really liked living here, I always felt so isolated, and just wanted to be normal so my Dad let us continue to live in the village so I'd be happy. But the few times we came up here this was where I always stayed…right next to my dad."

She smiled as she watched him look around. It made so much sense. All he'd ever wanted was Neal's happiness, if staying in the village made him happy he would have done it, even if he didn't like being around others. But that didn't mean this room wasn't special to him. No matter how long they'd stayed Neal had once called this place home and he'd done his best to preserve that just as he'd preserved her space.

"He kept it safe for you," she muttered wandering over the dresser and pulling open a drawer that still revealed the children's clothes she'd found once. Yes, that was the same pattern she used to fold. He hadn't come back since she'd been here. And it made her have to choke back her tears again.

Neal wandered over next to her and glanced into the drawer, looking down shocked at his own tiny clothes still there folded so neatly and perfectly. "He wanted to keep the only bit of you he had left as safe as possible after he'd failed the first time. He's always loved you Neal, no matter what. The best moment of his life was the first time he held you and the worst was when he let you go," she recalled perfectly.

When she glanced over at Neal he was still staring down at the clothes but there was something different about him, something that hadn't been there before. It was a shine, a small glimmer in his eyes that she hadn't seen since…she'd never seen him like that! Never seen him tear up before over Emma or Henry! But now…

She reached up and touched his shoulder, offering a small comforting gesture. If it was her she'd want comfort. She'd want his arm around her, she'd want him to hug her to his chest as she cried like they'd done in the past. But Neal wasn't her. He wasn't as open with his emotions, he didn't open up as easily as she did. She would want comfort, but he would want the opposite. He'd want privacy, time to collect his thoughts to figure out what he was seeing and connect it with an emotion that she knew he had to be feeling!

So she let him. As much as she wanted to stay and help him with it all, she had to give him the space that he'd requested of her what seemed like an eternity ago. As much as she wanted to mother him and tell him he wasn't alone anymore, she didn't.

Instead she told him she had some other things she wanted to look at and left without any sign that he'd heard her.


	29. True Love's Power

4 Months, 1 Week, 1 Day

She left Neal in his bedroom to have some privacy with the artifacts she'd shown him. She didn't know if she expected him to be surprised to see his room still there perfectly intact, but she certainly didn't expect him to get teary eyed like he did. With any luck it was a good sign. Maybe father and son could be repaired after all! Just as she hoped the bond of true love could be sealed again as it once was.

She walked through the cold dark halls of the castle she once knew so well without missing a step, even in the dying sunlight. It was all just as she remembered it, well, almost. The castle had been ransacked, surprising to her because she would have thought it would have spells over it to protect it from that very thing! Although, now that she thought about it, the important places seemed to have been perfectly protected. He was a creature of habit, his castle, just like his big home back in Storybrooke, it was just for show. It was all part of the illusion he'd worked to create, the façade that went along with the mask she could see through when they'd been here together. The castle had more to do with his pride than his character. But her quarters, Neal's, those rooms were the things that mattered and they'd been protectively sealed off from the rest of the world.

What did he care if-

She tripped over something laying in the middle of the hallway and reached down to pick it up. A candle! Perfect in the dying light, now if only…There! Down the hall there was a table that was over turned, its drawer flipped upside-down as if someone had been frustrated there was nothing of value in it. That was because there wasn't anything valuable inside of it, there never had been, not that she'd ever seen. But in a darkened hallway the treasure it contained was more important that any silver or gold. She stepped forward and righted the table, put it back in its place, then moved it an inch or so to the left, suddenly being proud that she remembered enough to be exact with it. She set the candle upon the table then knelt down to flip the drawer back over and stuffed it's contents back inside properly. A small book in the back, some paper toward the front, spare quills, small jars of ink, long since emptied, and toward the front, what she'd really been after, long match sticks. They'd taken her what felt like an eternity to learn to use when she'd first arrived. A silly thing really that a princess couldn't even light a candle, but now, even decades later the motions to make fire were old to her, comfortable and familiar.

She set the drawer back into its place in the little table, grabbed one of the match sticks and put a little light into the hallway. There, better already. The table was right where is should be, precisely. Its contents were ordered just the way she liked them and a bit of normal among the chaos, even if the normal was unimportant, felt just fine. Only the candle was wrong.

In the light she recognized it. It didn't belong in this hallway or even on this floor, it was a candle that had dwelled in what she'd come to think of as the drawing room because of its easels and empty canvases. No, that room had never held much interest for her, she'd never spent much time in it, like him there were only a few rooms of utmost importance that she ever paid regular visits to and the drawing room wasn't one of them. But she'd dusted every inch of this castle, she knew what belonged where probably even better than he had. And this…this candle belonged downstairs.

So she took her prize back to its home, having to resist the urge to clean up every little mess and pile of debris she saw, though she could already feel herself making lists and piles of her own in her mind. That jewelry box belonged in a bedroom. Those dishes in the cabinet in their room, third shelf and to the right. The fan belonged to a dress she knew was stashed away in a bedroom closet. That painting belonged downstairs in their room. And the dolls…

The dolls. Those creepy hideous dolls that she'd seen in his shop a million times, that were part of his collection and she'd wished with every inch of her being weren't! They were here? On a window ledge? Far from where they were supposed to be downstairs. Maybe things hadn't returned to the last place they'd been? And there! There was the sword that she'd once seen on a pedestal. A book that she knew he kept in his back room because she'd read it. There was one of the blankets he kept on the cot. It was everywhere, all over the place, bits and pieces of his shop scattered around the castle.

An idea hit her as she looked around her, her desire to return the candle to the drawing room put aside. They needed something magic, some way to find the dagger whether it was here or elsewhere. A way to resurrect Rumpelstiltskin from the dead…where better than to start than with magical items that were strong enough to make it into his shop. She found her way back into their room, the fire lit for her just as it always did and she found the perfect place to begin. Right there. She turned the chair that was supposed to sit by the fire over and enjoyed the heat for a moment before glancing around.

There were things scattered on the floor, things that she recognized, that she could place not only here in the castle, but also in the shop. She started there. She picked item after item up, identified it and placed it on the table. Clock, from the upstairs bedroom, in the back of the shop because it had been broken. Dishes, from her kitchen, inside the glass cases. A treasure chest, it belonged to the collection and she'd seen it in his tower once or twice, then it sat in the back of the shop, collecting dust on the shelves. Watches, books, knick knacks, everything she could possibly find until-

"Did you find something?" she turned quickly to find Neal striding back into the room, righting a pedestal that a strange looking hammer had once rested upon. He looked fine, looked strong and put together just as he always did. A few moments alone, that was all he'd needed. And all she'd needed.

"Lots of somethings," she answered placing another book on the table. "No sign of the dagger yet, but I found things he used to keep in the shop that were returned here after Storybrooke disappeared. I figured they'd be the next best place to start if we can't locate his knife."

Neal looked over the items on the table, his eyes scanned each one just as she had only instead of seeing each item individually he saw only the entire table, sprawled out overwhelmingly before him. "You know," Neal sighed and picked up the small treasure box she'd found, "I was thinking…you think my dad can get us back to Henry."

"I do," she answered immediately, finding the question strange. Not only had they had this discussion before, but if either of them believed he couldn't then she was certain they would have given up hope long ago.

"But it might take a while, you know to get everything in place and find a way…right?"

Her stomach turned. Yes. She thought that. In fact that was exactly what she thought, what she'd been hoping Neal would realize on his own so that he wasn't disappointed in his father if it took them a few months, maybe even years, to get back there. He'd come to that conclusion…sort of. Asking her about this, with that tone... What was he really asking her? There was more to it.

"I think it might take some time to figure it out just right."

Neal nodded and began his restless uncomfortable shuffling, glancing away from her and examining the treasure box with too much interest. "Neal?" she questioned watching him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…just," he sighed, "Do you think my Dad knows about Zelena? How to get rid of her?" That wasn't what she expected. Did he know about Zelena? Yes. By her own account, if they believed what Zelena had said during her last little visit, then yes he knew about her. But could he defeat her? Did he know how?

"I assume so," she answered honestly. Frankly, she didn't know enough about magic to be positive, but she felt like she knew him well enough. What made Zelena so strong anyway? That she was older than Regina? She'd been in hiding all this time, for all she knew the only thing she really knew how to do well was hide! For all they knew Regina could defeat her and if Regina could do it then… "Yes," she answered confidently. "He could-he can," she amended. Soon she wouldn't have to remind herself to think in present tense. Soon he'd be here. With her. With his son.

"You think he'd take care of her if we asked him to?" he asked with genuine uncertainty. But she felt like it was her who was uncertain about this conversation. Where was all this coming from? She'd left Neal with memories of his past and suddenly after months of being at odds with the others, he wanted to help them?

"Why the sudden change of heart?" she asked curiously. Neal was silent for a minute as she looked him over, feeling utterly confused. Suddenly he pushed himself away from the spot he'd been shuffling in.

"I don't know, you know! Just thinking I guess, remembering…" he sighed taking the treasure box over to the pedestal and set it there, keeping his back to her as he mumbled. "When we were in Neverland…you know it wasn't exactly like he was a team player all the time, no one was, but it felt like…I don't know…it felt like when we were all working together we at least got things done. It was only after he was gone that things turned…"

She understood. Well, she didn't, but she did. She didn't know what had prompted this latest turn in Neal's mind, the return he'd made to working with everyone instead of against. Maybe it had something to do with his clothes maybe it didn't. Maybe it was something that he'd been thinking about just as long as she had and now that it was becoming real he was softening. Maybe he remembered that David was a father just like he was, just like his father was. No, she didn't know what had been the cause of his sudden change of heart, but she knew she was happy about it. She'd rather work with them than against them as well and honestly if the three of them returned to the castle, if Rumple could provide answers about Zelena and a way to find her and defeat her and leave the Kingdom in peace…they might be more receptive to Neal getting back to Henry and Emma.

They might. In the future. But for now they couldn't speculate on that future until they'd done what they came here to do. She picked another book up off the floor and set it on the table with the others.

"It's not a bad way to do things, Neal," she muttered, feeling that maternal fire in her belly spring to life when she realized she was proud of him for the conclusion, the choice, he was making. "But for now, let's just focus on the first step in the process, finding out what happened to that dagger, and getting your father back! If there's anyone who can defeat that witch and get you back to your family, it's the Dark One," she promised, focusing on something positive. "The way to resurrect him has to be here." The question was where?

"You really believe in him, don't you?" Neal inquired suddenly, almost surprised by her answer. Did he really expect her, after all this time to deny that he could get him home, that he could be resurrected or even defeat the Witch? It didn't surprise her, not anymore, this came up too frequently for that, but still, she looked forward to the day that Neal believed him just as much as she did, for the same reason that she did.

"I love him," she stated with hesitation, "all of him, even…" she sat on the table with the book in her hand and smiled, thinking of the part Lacey had helped her come to accept. It was hard to admit, but Neal needed to hear it just as much as she did. "Even the parts that belong to the darkness." She never thought she would, never thought she'd be able to love that flawed half of him and would fight to the end for him to find a cure, but now she believed that she'd always fight for him, flawed or not. She loved him, always had and always would, now the only thing she had to do was get him back. If she needed his dark side to make that happen, then how could she ever despise it?

"Yeah, it took me a while to see past all that," Neal commented, "the good man trying to get out."

She smiled, trying to choke back tears. After all these months he finally spoke of Rumple as "a good man", finally was speaking about him with emotion and reverence in his voice. She didn't know what had happened in that room, but maybe he'd needed it desperately...more so than even she knew.

"He did get out," she reminded him. If the goodness inside of him had remained trapped then none of them would be here in the Enchanted Forest right now because they'd be back in Storybrooke, under Pan's curse, living in his new version of Neverland that he'd dreamed up.

"Yeah, he did," Neal finally agreed after a moment, making her sigh in relief. "The irony is now I need the dark part," he said turning back around, "in order to get to the ones I care about." Yes, that was true, they needed the magic within him, needed the Dark One to do what no ordinary sorcerer or witch could, but-

That wasn't all! Neal was fiddling with something there in his hands. Something more was going on in his mind, she knew him well enough to know when he was holding back from her. When he first came downstairs he'd asked her if she'd found anything…maybe it was her that should have asked him.

"What is that?" she questioned softly, trying to catch a glimpse of it through his gloves.

"A necklace," he muttered honestly, holding it up for her to see. Indeed it was. A pendent of some kind on a chain. "It was Emma's," he told her, holding it closer again, "it was supposed to represent our life together. I don't know how it survived the trip!" he pondered out loud examining it further as if he expected to find a flaw in it.

She could only smirk. It wouldn't be flawed and he certainly wouldn't find any kind of reasoning behind why it was here, nothing physical at least. It was emotional, spiritual…it was because of a bond. A bond she knew only too much about, even if her own was broken.

"Because," she breathed moving off the table to stand by him, a proper support whether he knew he needed it or not, "it was born of true love." He glanced at her, looking skeptical, but she wasn't, not one bit. Ordinary objects could take on extraordinary meaning. Her cup might not have been conjured with magic but it was magical to her, to them. It was the same with Neal and Emma. In her eyes a necklace was a necklace, but to the two of them, it meant so much more. And soon…it would be.

She'd just had a thought. A wonderful and beautiful thought and she wasn't sure why it had taken her so long to think of it. Something born out of true love, something that would have survived everything that had happened, that would have items that she'd seen in Storybrooke and even those that never made it there. That might be able to help her identify some of the objects she'd discovered. There was still a place they had yet to explore.

"Now come with me," she ordered. "I think I know where we can find what we need." So she grabbed her candle and led the pair of them out of the room.


	30. Unexpected Infuriating Surprises

4 Months, 1 Week, 1 Day

Neal followed quickly on her heels as she led him through the hallways and up the stairs until she arrived at the curved wall where the entrance of her library had once been. She smiled when she saw the stones barring their entrance. He'd sealed her library as well. It had been safe…to everyone except her and Neal. With the touch of her hand the stone seared away to reveal, not a door, like the other rooms, but simply an arched opening that revealed the stairs into her tower.

"That's remarkable," Neal muttered behind her. Clearly she wasn't the only one impressed with this power she seemed to have in this place. "But isn't Dad's workshop on the other side?" Neal asked quickly.

She glanced back with a smirk to find him looking around, as if he was lost or had forgotten something. She smirked at the sight. He wasn't wrong. "It is, this tower leads to something else."

She led the way up the winding staircase that her body remembered perfectly. She even remembered to watch her step toward the top where one of the steps was just a bit lower than the others, but forgot to warn Neal, who lunged forward suddenly and caught himself on the wall. "Are you alright?" she fussed, looking him over.

"Yeah fine," he muttered righting himself again and motioning that she should continue on and he'd follow. "But I don't ever remember being up here. I don't even think I remember _anything_ being up here!" Then he was about to get the biggest surprise of his life. When they finished climbing the stairs the fireplace on the far side sparked predictably to life and she could look around her beautiful domain for the first time in decades. Her smile spread, her joy threatened to explode through her entire body as she breathed it in. It was just as she remembered. Well…almost.

There were shelves that she didn't recognize, not from her library at least, but rather from her brief trip into Rumple's basement. This must have been where those books had settled and she couldn't have been happier. It was perfect. Everything was right where she needed it to be, she just had to do the research! And for that they'd need all the light they could get! The fireplace wasn't going to do it, not for the entire place. But her candles all seemed to be here, next to her chairs and chaise, on the tables…even her blankets were right where she'd left them.

"You think there's magic in here?" Neal asked behind her, distracting her so that the tears didn't come pouring out of her eyes.

"No," she corrected, realizing he hadn't quite caught on. How could he? This library wouldn't have been here when he'd come around as a child. It hadn't even been here the first time she'd arrived. But now that it was, she knew it was silly not to use it. She might not know anything about magic, but books she knew about. "Something better than magic: books. Books on history, books on witchcraft, and hopefully some on the Dark One too!" she muttered glancing over her shoulder at Neal who was looking at her room with the same amount of enthusiasm that she once had, the first time she'd seen it, the first time he'd given it to her. Little did he know just what he'd been giving to her! There were answers here, somewhere, they just had to find them.

"Where do we start?" he asked as she finished lighting some candles. That was a tough question. It was her library but it wasn't precisely how she remembered it! She honestly wasn't sure just how much of what she'd originally sorted was still intact!

But it didn't matter. If it took them three years to go through every book here, she had to get Neal back to his family, she had to get her Rumple back! "One shelf at a time," she informed him confidently, blowing the matchstick she was using out.

Suddenly something like a voice seemed to echo off the walls of her library making her jump. "Hello there!"

Hello there? A voice? No, it couldn't be. It wasn't Neal's voice she'd know his voice in her sleep! And why would he be greeting her?! She was jumpy. It must have been the wind, surely it had been the wind! But…Neal. He was looking around, not aimlessly or overwhelmed as he had been before, but like he was looking for something, expecting something! Was she wrong? Had he mumbled something she'd missed? Was he asking a question and waiting for an answer?

"Did you, uh, did you say something?" She asked him, setting the candle down beside him and trying not to sound too confused…though she was sure it showed on her face. Nothing in this castle had ever sounded like that before-

"Over here!" the strange voice called again, clearer this time, making her shiver. It wasn't her imagination, it had come from…behind them! They both turned to look at the place the voice had come from and…it was the candelabra! The one she'd just lit, the one…that she'd never seen by her chaise, in the library, or his castle or anywhere in her life! How had she missed that?! The flames fanned unnaturally into a smoky orange haze that lingered over the lit candles. A face appeared in the flames. A man, with a goatee, fiery eyes, and foreign accent! No. Something about this wasn't right.

"Allow me to introduce myself," he-it slurred, ignoring their expressions. What had she just done? What was she seeing?

"Who the hell...?" Neal asked next to her as she looked the candle over skeptically. She didn't like this. Something in his castle she couldn't identify…it wasn't right.

"No need to be frightened," the voice told him. "I am but a humble servant of this castle, my name is Lumiere." No, no, no, no this wasn't right. _She_ was a humble servant of this castle, _this_ was…wrong. She and Neal glanced at each other and she took a step forward. Something in her stomach told her not to, but she couldn't seem to help herself when Rumple was concerned. She imagined she would feel this protective over his shop if they were still in Storybrooke, but for right now his castle was all she had to be protective over.

"Wait, Belle!" Neal called out grabbing her elbow as she took another step forward. "Do you know this guy?!"

She shook her head, staring at the candle. "Not at all."

"And why would you?!" the candle barked. "I've been here for centuries, you were here barely a season." But apparently it knew her. That wasn't possible.

"Wa-wait!" she stuttered trying to sort through the face she was seeing with the words he was saying. She'd never seen him. He knew of her. "How do you know who I am?" she finally asked, settling on a basic question.

"Do you think me an idiot?!" the candle answered with his thick accent making the words harder to understand with his pompous tone. I've been here for centuries, been moved room to room as I was needed. There has only ever been one maid of this castle I've heard spoken of, a beautiful woman my master spent years pining over…before a questionable comment or two over the subject led me to imprisonment in this room."

Rumple. Rumple was how he knew of her! He'd spoken of her? "Pined" over her? That was hardly like him at all! Though…he had mentioned her before. She'd heard him talk about her with a handful of visitors. That was the only time he'd ever referred to her as "a maid". She supposed it was possible, but why was this candle so certain that she was that maid! They'd never met! He said he'd been in this castle for centuries, why couldn't she place him! She could place everything in this castle...couldn't she?

"I don't understand," Belle explained, taking a few steps closer. It was just a candle, what harm could it do. "I've dusted every nook and cranny of this place and…how have our paths never crossed?" she asked, pointing out the flaw in his claim. She should recognize him.

"It's a big castle," he bit off in a way that irritated her. She knew it was a big castle! She knew it better than anyone, but that didn't mean she didn't know every inch of it like the back of her hand! Every inch of this library had been imprinted on her memory ever since he'd given it to her! "And I was woefully underutilized," he added. "Sadly I only awaken when my candles are lit, those are the rules of my punishment."

"Punishment by who?" Neal asked, stepping around her to examine the…really what was he exactly?!

"Whom do you think?" the candle asked looking at him as if he was an idiot that was only wasting his time. "Does he even know where he is?" he asked her suddenly, as if she had the reason between the two of them. But right now she had to believe it was Neal. All she seemed capable of was gawking at the thing while she tried to place it somewhere in her memory, in the castle. At least Neal appeared to be getting a story as he examined it!

"Rumpelstiltskin of course!" the candle finally answered. "We made a deal long ago and when I couldn't live up to my end he made sure I paid the price! He's not here is he?" he asked, suddenly his confidence seemed to waver at that idea…her own did the same.

"No, he's…" she swallowed and tried to find her voice, still hating the truth she was seeking to correct any day, any moment, now. "He's dead."

"We're trying to bring him back," Neal explained for her, pacing the room with that nervous energy she knew he exhibited only when he felt uncomfortable and uncertain about something. Fortunately for her that nervous energy rolled off of him in waves of menace and violence. He looked like a tiger pacing a cage. Inside he might have been uneasy, but outside he was confident and threatening. A perfect combination for a situation like this. "You said you spent a lot of time here, do you know anything that could restore the Dark One and-"

"I know a great many things!" the candle inserted angrily, almost insulted by Neal's questions. And an excellent question it was! Why hadn't she thought to do that? If he had been here all along, in the castle, in her library, listening to Rumple, then he'd know about the castle and Rumple just as she did. Wouldn't he?

"Please," Neal begged, "you gotta help us! If you don't I'll never see my family again!" She casted Neal a sideways sympathetic glance knowing just how desperate he was for this to work. As much as she wanted to blow the candle out, to ignore him, and look for something on their own, she'd rather have Rumple back and Neal happy sooner rather than later. If the candle knew something that could help them, then there was no harm in asking or following up on any clues the thing had to offer them. They'd started this journey with nothing as it was…they really had nothing to lose.

"Boo-hoo," the candle mocked sarcastically, only making her want to ignore it all over again. "Why should I help resurrect the man who put me in this waxy prison?"

"The Rumpelstiltskin you knew my have seemed cold and hard but he's changed since then," she pointed out trying to sway the stranger to their side…for Neal's sake. "And if you help us, I know he would restore you to your human form." The candle looked at her skeptically for a moment, like he couldn't believe she thought she was able to make a promise like that but she knew she could. If he helped them then she'd make sure he released Lumiere from his prison because she wasn't just his maid anymore. He'd do it for her. She just needed the candle to believe that he would so he'd share what he had in his head, because there was no doubt now in her mind that he did know something. "Please," she urged.

"The bookcase behind you," he surrendered after a moment of consideration. "Bottom cabinet," she nodded her head and followed his instructions to the shelves that she probably would have started with first even if he hadn't suggested it. It was the place that she'd stored all the books on magic that she had, the ones she'd promised herself she would read one day to understand him a little better but never had because other books seemed to keep calling to her and because she enjoyed talking about the stories with him so much. "You shall know it once you see it," the candle called after her as she pulled the case open. "It's a volume befitting the Dark One."

He was right, she knew it from the others right away. There really was only one book that she would have considered "befitting" of her Dark One. Large, tall, thick, with an intricate and complex design on the side. Certainly something for Rumpelstiltskin. She pulled it out and felt surprise race through her. Something was wrong. This was an old tome, heavily bound, thick paper…it should be heavier. And the weight that it did have…it should be placed differently, evenly instead of…all in one spot? And was it her imagination, or was something rattling around inside there? She returned it to a table, glancing at the Candle suspiciously before opening it up at the book mark and flipping through a few of the thick pages before-

"What the hell kind of book is that?" Neal asked suspiciously.

"This isn't a book!" she realized, and it was definitely something her Rumple would have done…she just wished she understood what she was seeing! "It's a hiding spot," she informed Neal reaching into the place the pages had been cut away for a metal…something! What was this that he'd been trying to hide! It looked like a very large very long, skeleton key with a circle for a handle that held a triangle design. The candle was right! She didn't know what it was but the candle had information that she didn't! But…but she knew this library! She knew the books in that cabinet, the magical one's that she had. Why did she feel like she'd never seen this one before either? Could the curse have changed things this much?

"What is this?" Neal asked stepping up next to her and looking the object over himself.

"It's a key!" Lumiere informed them. "To the vault of the Dark One!"

She let Neal hold the thing and examined his face for any spark of recognition. "The vault of the Dark One"? Did he know what the candle was talking about? No, he looked just as confused as she was. And it was no wonder. They both knew about Rumple now, how he'd been cursed, with his dagger…there was nothing about a vault!

"The vault of the Dark One?" she questioned. Not the dagger? They'd been looking for the wrong thing?

"Where the first Dark One was made!" the candle spat at her, looking her up and down with something like disgust because she was uninformed. "Born out of…well, darkness!" Maybe it wasn't the candle, or it's magic that made her gut feel wrong. Maybe he just reminded her too much of Gaston's haughty personality. But at least with Gaston she could laugh because he really didn't know anything he ever pretended to know about. This candle…this was different. But still rude and arrogant. Yes, maybe that was what bothered her about him…but was it all that bothered her?

"If you wish to bring back Rumpelstiltskin to life it is where you must go."

Another step on the path, another link in the chain. Get to the house, get to the castle, now it was get to the vault. But if what the candle was saying was true, then hopefully after the vault it wouldn't be much longer before they could stop moving, before the three of them could put together a plan. But first they had to get there and that was the hard part about all this.

"Will you guide us on our journey?" she asked the candle. No, she didn't like him, but right now he seemed to have all the answers they sought, for Neal's sake, for her sanity, she'd deal with the candle's attitude.

"If your promises that the Dark One will return me to my human form are true…then yes, I will!"

She wanted to ask where they were going, get more information out of him, but Neal dropped the key quickly back into its space and closed the book. "We'll leave first thing in the morning," he resolved, walking away from it with a contempt she didn't just understand but felt as well! She never had liked the feeling of Dark Magic, it was him she was always addicted to. Magic or not. Could Neal feel the magic like she could? Was that what made him uncomfortable too?

Neal strode over to the candle and without another word blew the lights out. Their new "friend" gone, the key safe, and a journey ahead of them they had a lot to discuss. But not here. Not where she was no longer certain a conversation would remain private. Fortunately Neal seemed to understand her desire not to talk about it in this room anymore. So he nodded to her that she should grab her original, single candle, one that wouldn't talk back to them, then followed her back down the stairs.


	31. The Calm Before the Storm

4 Months, 1 Week, 1 Day

He caught her arm the second they took their last step off of the spiral staircase. "Hey!" he whispered in a harsh desperate tone. "The candle, do you trust him?" he asked.

What a complicated question! "He did give us the key and said he can point us in the right direction," she reasoned aloud.

"Yeah, but do you trust him?" Neal repeated. She sighed and found her legs moving, carrying them further and further from the stairs. Neal had a point. He'd told them the truth. But the truth was not always necessary trustworthy.

"I'm not so sure, Bae" she admitted sadly. "I've been over every inch of this castle and I can't place him anywhere! That only leaves The-Vault-With-No-Doors, it's the only place I haven't been for obvious reasons and if he was in there…" If he was in there it wasn't good. She'd stumbled upon that doorless archway one afternoon only days after she'd arrived and he'd been quick to creep up on her and issue a dire warning. _"Careful! That vault has no doors for a reason! Only Dark Magic dwells in this castle dearie, if you're not careful you might just regret getting too close." _She hadn't gotten close, not ever again, in fact on the rare occasions she had to go down that hallway she always made a point to never let her eyes fall upon that sealed arch. But if that candle had been there…what did that say about him. "If he was in there then it's a good chance we probably shouldn't trust him."

"Yeah, but that's not what I'm asking. Do _you_ trust him? You! Right here! Right now! What's your gut say?" Her gut said there were too many variables and she hadn't eaten a decent sized meal in weeks. Her gut told her that while the information the candle provided to them might have led to something, while it might still lead to something, trust was different than facts and she should be weary of the candle simply because she couldn't remember him!

But her gut also told her that she shouldn't completely dismiss his story. After all it wasn't as though the candle had tried to come off as trustworthy! He wasn't exactly giving them the information out of kindness it was for himself! They'd made a deal with him! If they helped him he got his body back, he'd be freed from his prison. Did she trust that?! Could she?!

Yes! She did trust that. She'd been imprisoned before, too many times to count, but she could remember being willing to do anything to escape her tower even if it meant working with a pirate she didn't know! Lumiere was trapped in a candle, how much more would he want to be free than she had?!

No, she couldn't remember where he'd been in the castle, but it was possible, she supposed, that she'd overlooked a simple candlestick. And Neal…she knew he was desperate, she knew he was asking because he had the same weary feeling about it she did only he desperately wanted her to reassure him that his gut was worrying for nothing! Trust. Maybe trust wasn't the issue. Trust would be nice, but in this situation, she supposed, it wasn't a requirement.

"My gut says trust doesn't matter, it's not exactly what we need from him," she finally answered. "We need answers and reliable information…he's got that! The key, the vault, that's what we need. We've promised to free him from his prison for what he knows, he's got no reason to lie to us, so if we believe him, then in the end, whether or not we trust him is irrelevant."

Neal sighed as they continued their walk through the castle and she suddenly realized that they'd arrived back in the hallway to Neal's room. The place Rumpelstiltskin's door should have been. "Alright," he finally muttered coming to a stop outside his own door, "yeah, okay, I can track with that logic, but, um…let's keep our distance until we've got my father back. We'll use our heads, be a little skeptical, we'll take things one step at a time, just like always-"

"'Keeping our distance' will be difficult considering he promised to take us to where we've got to go-"

"Yeah, but not impossible! We'll just be careful about how often we light the thing and watch what we say when it's around. I don't know if he can hear us or not when it's not lit but I think it's a good idea to play it safe until we know for certain."

She nodded in confirmation. It wasn't the best plan in the world, but she honestly hadn't expected that they'd have a plan this quickly after their arrival! If this was the price they would pay for their swift actions…so be it.

"So…if we're going to do this, then…"

"We'll spend the night here and leave in the morning," he stated, those same words and determination he'd had in the tower unfailing. "Are you good for that?" The morning. It wasn't long to rest but at least it was a rest. And more importantly she couldn't see a way that one night would delay them. On this mountain, with all the snow, promises of going North, where it would be colder if the mountainous terrain continued, one night in the castle was better than she'd expected.

"I'll be ready," she nodded.

Neal nodded unenthusiastically, his eyes suddenly heavy. It was strange. She supposed that it was actually earlier than they'd gone to bed since they began this trip, but she could understand that now that they were here, now that the burden of "what next" had suddenly been removed from them, sleep weighed heavy. Peaceful sleep. No, she wouldn't really get that until he was back but knowing that it was just around the corner, that they were almost there…that was enough to at least let her get the most peaceful sleep she could at the moment. And she imagined that was what it must have felt like for Neal as well.

"Sleep well," she muttered as Neal turned back to his childhood bedroom door. "I'll see you in the morning." She didn't wait for a response before she set off down the hall, only to have Neal call after her, "Hey, where are you going?"

When she turned back she found him watching her, looking almost confused at her actions. "You're not going back to the dungeons are you?"

"No, of course not!" she responded, knowing that it was a lie. But it wasn't as bad as it sounded. Going back to the dungeons…she hadn't thought about it, it had just been an instinct, an old habit crawling out of her skin when she wasn't looking. She'd thought of it as her room for so long she didn't even think about the fact that it was too cold this time of the year, or that it was empty. She'd nearly forgotten! On the day that she'd left the castle she'd been planning on moving into another room, one that wasn't a dungeon. She'd moved all of her stuff before he'd dismissed her that day.

"I, uh, I have another room," she assured Neal. He looked her up and down as if he was caught off guard by her declaration. Frankly, she was caught off guard by her declaration! She honestly wasn't sure if she had a room or not. Rumple had memorialized the dungeon but had he shut the room she'd put her belongings in, the one that she'd been planning to use away? Had he ever figured out where she'd put it all or that she'd picked out a room for herself? She never had asked him if it was okay if she moved, she'd just done it, that was the kind of relationship they'd had then. But if it had been left unprotected it might be just as ransacked as the rest of the castle was!

Finally, after what seemed like hours Neal gave an indifferent nod. "Alright," he sighed as if he didn't believe she wasn't going back to the dungeons but knew he couldn't do anything to stop her. "I'll see you in the morning then," and with that he went back into his room and shut the door.

Neal gone, nearly tucked in, she found herself leaning against the wall. Her eyes found one of the windows she'd once sat on to read a book during the winter months, those few weeks that he'd constantly come to find her and given her a chore that put her in the same room as he was. It had been her own private game of hide and seek, cat and mouse, and his way of asking her, without words of course, for company. She found herself drawn to that window, perching upon it now as she once had then and glancing out at it.

The snowcapped mountains almost seemed to be shinning blue in the moonlight. She'd forgotten how that had always happened. How it had looked? And the way she'd watched from her tower as winter clung to the mountains while spring seemed to seep in through the valley, the small village below-

She felt tears gather in her eyes as she turned her face away from the outside world. No. She wasn't going to do this again. She wasn't going to break down into tears over his death and demise, not when they were so close to getting him back! She refused to do that!

But there were so many memories here, even in this hallway. It felt like it was impossible to outrun them all even here in this hall! Even if she had avoided this hallway for the longest time, she'd eventually come here, when she'd realized that she didn't have to fear him! The items she'd cleaned, the windows she'd washed, the way she'd meticulously sorted through every room in this hall, cleaning it out, reorganizing it, leaving it fit for the visitors they'd never had! The private quarters, Neal's room, even-

No.

No, she'd never cleaned his room. Not the way she'd always wanted to anyway. That had always been where they'd both drawn the line. She'd gone in to collect laundry of course, and tried on many occasions to clean it, make it less dusty, but the organizing…he'd done that himself. Probably out of fear that if he didn't she would, and heaven forbid if she'd ever moved one of his knick knacks or trinkets out of place!

She smiled, the old sensations and thought's coming back to her so fast they were funny. Had she ever really thought like that? Had they ever really acted that way around each other? Had she ever been that girl? She didn't feel like it now. She'd changed…but chances were that room hadn't.

It was missing of course. She wasn't surprised to look next to Neal's room and find the doors that had once been his missing. Still, she pushed herself up, and wiped the stray tears from her eyes as she made her way toward the blank wall. Even if she'd only gone in on occasion, she knew where that room was, where the door was supposed to be, and she glanced down at her hands with confidence. All she had to do was believe that whatever magic was at work on Neal's room and in her dungeons and library would work now.

With a deep breath she reached forward for the place that she knew the handle was. It worked just as the others had. As soon as she touched it the walls seemed to melt away, dissolving into nothing and leaving her with a plain wooden door that she'd seen a million times before. She beamed at the happy sight. Yes. She had a room.

And it was a room less haunted with memories than any other place had been, as if it had been set there for her to find all along. The fire in the grate sparked to life at her presence and she gazed around at the dark interior. It had hardly changed. Never been ransacked. Never been found probably since he left. The curtains had been shut, to keep it dark and depressing, just as he'd have liked, even in his bedroom he wouldn't have allowed himself to find solace from his misery.

But she did.

It wasn't like the cottage, where traces of Neal and Milah still hung in the air, this was just him. Underneath the must, it smelled like him. The darkness looked like him. The handled mirror was flipped over on its table and a spinning wheel sat in the corner, golden thread coming off of it as though he was only seconds away from returning to complete the project. This was him, in every way possible it was him. And that meant that it was her too.

It sat in a blue vase covered by so much dirt that it was black now. The petals were dry, the stem nothing but a stick, but it was there. A plain rose next to his bedside. Maybe the one he'd given her the day she left, maybe one of the ones she'd picked herself the day she'd stumbled upon him up in the tower on Neal's birthday. She didn't know its precise origin, but she knew it was a memorial. For her. So he'd wake up and see it and go to sleep with it close. Even over the years as it had withered and faded, he'd kept it because it wasn't about its beauty, but what it meant to him that mattered.

The back of her throat felt scratchy, she felt her tears begin to fight their way back into her eyes again, and she held her breath for a moment afraid it wouldn't be enough to stop the floodgates. But when she perched on the bed, even with the hole in her chest aching and heaving for what didn't exist, she breathed deep and glanced at the small reminder under heavy eye lashes.

"I miss you," she muttered into the nothingness, wondering how thick the walls were, and if Neal could hear her or not. In the end she didn't care. What would he hear that he didn't already know? "I miss you so much it hurts," she admitted to the air. "My heart bleeds, I feel like I can't breathe, and my bones are so brittle I'm surprised I'm not broken in two most nights.

"I don't know if I'll ever get to a point that I'll be able to really forgive you for what you did, but if this works, _when_ this works, I don't think I'll care anymore just so long as I know you're alright."

The rose didn't respond, offered her no words of encouragement, no comforting gestures. Though it wasn't as though she'd expected it to. It was a rose. It was dead, long dead from the looks of it, just as she should have been, and he was now. But she'd once seen him take a sickly little blue bud in his shop and turn it into the most gorgeous and fragrant of rose before her eyes. And it gave her hope. Hope that maybe one day soon, this flower would bloom just as that one had under his touch. Hope that the hole in her heart would close. Hope that Neal would bond with his father again and get back to his family. Hope that the two of them would be okay again and one day very soon, even if they had to be careful and keep their distance, she wouldn't have to sleep in this room alone.

With trembling fingers she unlaced her boots and pulled them off, she removed her jacket and vest and left them in a heap next to the leather, confident she'd have blankets and a fire to keep warm with she even let herself shimmy out of the little shorts she'd made, and finally pulled back the untouched layers of the stiff sheets. She hadn't done this since he'd been away in Neverland, she hadn't slept in a bed that he had since she'd lost him, but she found herself huddling herself together on the side that had always belonged to him, she tucked pillows along her body, but saved the on that smelled most like him for her chest, so she could wrap her arms around the poor substitute and at least smell him like she used to.

"I still miss you," she told the empty room as she closed her watering eyes. "But you'll be here soon."


	32. Magical Feelings

4 Months, 1 Week, 2…3 Days

She woke the next morning thinking that she was having the most wonderful dream she could have. She was in a bed, alone in a room for the first time since…she honestly couldn't remember when. She'd lost track of the days for that. To make it better the bed smelled of him but what convinced her it was a dream was the light touches she felt to her shoulder and the calls of "Belle" that she'd heard, urging her to wake up. It was only after that that she decided that her dream was too incessant and she might actually have to do it that she realized it wasn't a dream. She was in his bed, it did in fact smell like him, and the voice she'd heard, the touches to her shoulder, they were real, but Rumple wasn't the reason behind them.

"Just for the record, you're worse than a teenager with a hangover after prom," Neal commented when she finally opened an eye and looked up at him from against her pillow.

A teenager with a hangover after prom? Her mind struggled in the early hour to put two and two together. Lacey gave her memories of being a teenager with a hangover after prom. But Neal… "How would you know?" She groaned closing her eyes again. For the first time since they'd left they had decent comfy beds. Couldn't they just sleep another hour or so?

"Because you wouldn't believe how many of them just crash on the street or in their car afterwards because they're too afraid to go home," Neal commented but she hadn't really been listening, she'd been trying to piece it all together, to wake her mind up from a deep sleep she hadn't been in for months! A quick glance at the window to her back and she realized the sun wasn't even up and yet here he was completely dressed and ready to go. Not to mention, that for the first time since they'd arrived here, he looked…excited. Like he'd just been told he could eat Halloween Candy a day early.

She was excited too. She was still wary of the candle, but still, excitement had been there as well…along with just wanting to go back to sleep and breathe him in a while longer. "Give me an hour," she commented, lazily, resting her head back against his pillow.

"If I give you an hour are you going to get up or are you going to go back to sleep."

"Yes," she answered ambiguously. Sleep would have been the honest answer.

"Yeah, that's what I kinda thought. Hey, answer me something," he muttered, refusing to leave and let her fall back to sleep. Maybe they knew each other too well. "Dad's never been one for sleeping late like you do so…how exactly does he manage to get you out of bed in the morning."

"Gently," she answered automatically. "He tells me I'm beautiful and asks nicely," she mumbled into the pillow. Somewhere in the back of her mind a delayed warning went off. In her dreariness she'd forgotten to blush, forgotten how much Neal knew about their relationship, and how much she preferred to keep private. But every second she woke up a little more, and every second she'd felt a little more red creep into her face. At some point, when this was over, the two of them would have to work on finding that boundary between friend and…whatever she'd end up being to him.

"So you're saying all this time I've been doing it wrong and if I really wanted to get you out of bed in the morning all I have to do is ask nicely and say you're beautiful?"

"Yeah...sure...right," she muttered through a yawn. What was he saying now?

"Wow," he commented in the voice that told her with only one word he'd been about to make a joke of some kind…and that he wasn't going to stop talking until he had her word she really would wake up. "Well I'm sorry to tell you but I just...I can't do it. I mean true love must be a really special kind of love because I gotta tell ya, first thing in the morning like this, no one ever looks 'beautiful'."

And they were right back to being brother and sister again. She could be nice, ask him to leave so she could get up and get ready, like a good friend or mother would have done, but instead she'd opted act as a sister would, to reach behind her, grab one of the pillows and playfully throw it at his head.

He caught it, she knew he would, but he got the message loud and clear and with a broad smile on his face called her Sleeping Beauty, left a plum for her on the little table by the bed, next to the dead rose, and told her if he didn't see her in an hour he was coming back. Once he was gone she buried her nose back into the pillow and inhaled another whiff of her lover's scent, savoring it, looking forward to the moment it wouldn't be old but would be just him. Oh it would be so easy to just curl up and go back to sleep smelling him until…until Neal started banging on the door and giving her a headache to get out of bed. Until he brought up more of their private life and tricked her into putting it on display in her sluggishness.

"I love your son," she muttered into her poor substitute for the Dark One. "He's my best friend and the best thing you've ever done, but we're going to need to have a talk about keeping certain things about out life private," she yawned, before finally turning over and stretching.

She dressed quickly in the clothes that she'd discarded the night before and happily munched at the plum that Neal had given her as she left to locate her companion, surprised to find that the fruit was fresh…suddenly she remembered that plums weren't one of the fruits they'd been carrying around with them on their journey. If she'd seen any she'd have grabbed them, they were her favorites! She found Neal in the great room, going through item after item she'd placed out on the table only the night before when she'd stumbled over them.

"How'd you find me?" she asked as she walked in, realizing he hadn't known where to look for her and there were hundreds of rooms in this castle she could have been stashed away in. Maybe if she'd chosen one of those she could have slept a little longer!

"'Bout time," he muttered in her direction. "My Dad's room wasn't there when I went to sleep last night. It was when I woke up. Wasn't exactly hard to put two and two together," he answered off-handedly, giving her only a passing glance as he continued to look over the items on the table.

"And the plums?" she inquired.

"Yeah that's the strange thing," he breathed finally turning to her. "I found them in the kitchen this morning, a big bowl of them with grain and bananas and stuff. You got an explanation for that?"

Yes, she did. But he wouldn't like it. She barely liked it. "Magic," she answered. "The same kind that opened the doors for us and lights the fires when I come into the room. Food just used to appear like that in the mornings for breakfast, anything I needed or thought I'd want. I honestly always thought it was him but I suppose that would have been foolish. I doubt he ever went to the market as he was-"

"No, he always did enjoy solitude and magic to get the job done for him," Neal mumbled harshly making her clench her jaw together tight. From a moment last night that she thought he might be willing to begin to forgive his father to judgmental again. Obviously she wasn't the only one cranky in the morning.

"Well," she'd smiled, bearing his passive insult and putting it aside. She wasn't about to fight that battle with him and frankly she wasn't going to fight it for Rumple either. That was one he'd have to learn to do on his own. "It'll be good enough to get the job done for us as well this morning. Do you want some porridge?"

Hours later, with their bellies full, they'd finally had no choice but to do the inevitable. Neal led the way back up the tower, took a match stick from her and lit the candle. "Well, it's about time!" the thing shouted at them the moment it sparked to life. "I can't remember sleep ever taking so long in my human form!"

"That's because you were asleep," Neal answered immediately. "You want to experience that again…we're ready, tell us where to go."

"The vault is only a day's ride from here. North! I'll be able to guide you as we get closer."

"Until then you have anything more to go on other than 'north'?" he questioned, keeping a straight face and a clearly choosing his questions and answers carefully in the flames presence.

"Stick to the mountains and light me as often as you can, I will guide you," he promised once more with a snap that was a little too insistent for comfort.

The pair of them were still cautious when they'd set out, delicate about what they said around the strange creation. They'd taken their horse, a supply of food that would last only a few days, and heavy blankets from the castles bedrooms. If this worked, that was all they'd need until they returned. So with nothing but snow, forest, and mountain ahead of them, they'd left the castle.

They did as Lumiere said and went north. Every few hours Neal stopped them, removed the candelabra from his bag, and lit the wicks. Their conversations were short and unpleasant, keeping in line with what she'd observed last night. The candle was irritating, quick to anger and nitpick, and it amazed her just how much she could dislike someone that didn't even have a body. The first time they'd stopped to ask directions he'd quickly looked around, surveyed the area and glared at them. "Can't you go any faster?!" Neal had explained better than she could have that they couldn't, that they only had one horse. The candles final remark had been something about being tempted to run away as the horse had, only they hadn't heard it because Neal blew out the candles before he could finish, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "biggest jerk I've ever met and I lived in New York" under his breath as they continued on.

When the sun was setting Neal stopped again and asked if they were getting closer. According to the candle, they were, but if they weren't riding then it would take another day to cross over the mountains by foot. They'd made camp in a nearby cave that was freezing, but with Neal's cloak, blankets, and a fire lit she managed to keep warm. They'd have to continue to stir it at night, but when they both laid down, they were happy. "At least this fire doesn't talk back," Neal commented as he reclined on the opposite side of the blaze. She didn't say anything, but she couldn't help but agree with him as she closed her eyes.

By morning she'd regretted not thinking to search the castle top to bottom for another pair of pants before they'd left. Between the mountain range and the cooler climate of the north, even if the snow had disappeared, she was shivering when they first set off that morning.

"You alright?" Neal asked, looking her over timidly, like he kept expecting her to crack at any minute.

She nodded and did her best to control the shaking. "Fine," she spat, "let's keep going."

But when Neal lit the candle that morning, trying to figure out how much farther they had, there was only more disappointing news. "Further north!" their "guide" shouted. "You shall know it when you feel it, there will be magic in the air!"

"I don't suppose there's any chance of this place being warm?"

"Warm!" Lumiere scoffed. "You are dealing with dark magic. You've got to get colder!" Colder. Colder! Why hadn't she thought to find something more to wear before they'd gone?! Why?!

"I'll be fine," she promised Neal before he could ask if she'd be alright again. "Let's just keep moving." In the end "just keep moving" was the best thing they could do. Movement kept her warm. Movement pushed them onward. Movement felt good. And though she wasn't ecstatic every time they stopped to light the candle, soon she realized that the news that candle brought, no matter how obnoxiously delivered, looked brighter. They were getting closer. Instead of just "north" the candle began to tell them to look for certain landmarks, to follow the trail of magic lingering in the air.

Magic in the air.

They were getting closer. And suddenly she didn't feel the cold anymore. Suddenly she felt the complete opposite. She felt too hot, like her body was tingling in happy anticipation as her stomach did turn after turn in her belly with excitement. Closer. They were nearly there. She could feel it. This was happening. Actually happening! Was this what hope felt like? She'd completely forgotten over the last few months.

When the stopped close to sunset Neal reached into a bag and pulled out an apple they'd taken from the castle. "You want anything? Apple? Plum? I think we still have a few peaches?"

"I'm not hungry," she insisted, unsnapping his cloak and enjoying the cool air against her body. Was this all just a side effect of excitement, or could it possibly be the magic they were supposed to be feeling?

At last Neal set the candle out and lit it once again, taking a bite of his apple at the same time as if it would keep him from lashing out at the flame's voice. But there was no smart remark this time, no terrible comment. "At last, you have arrived!" the candle shouted looking around.

Her stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch and her eyes scanned the world around her. They'd arrived? It looked like just a plain forest to her!

"Wait this is it?!" Neal choked on his apple.

"No, of course not!" the candle bit back. "But you are very close, the vault is only a short walk from this place, can you not feel the magic in the air, does it not call to you?!"

"Let's say hypothetically it doesn't and we have look like normal people do, with our eyes. What are we looking for?"

The candle gave another loud obnoxious sigh, making him sound irritated. "A clearing, just that way," the candle pointed with its orange eyes. "A place where the nothing grows and magic is thick in the air."

"Poetic," Neal muttered sarcastically reaching forward and blowing the candle out quickly. When he looked back at her, he was smiling, his eyebrows raised in expectation. "Almost there, you ready for this?"

She nodded quickly as heat rushed through her body. She couldn't take it anymore. Her entire being felt as though there was a fire burning through it but the air around her was frigid. She felt like she'd fought with the weather the entire way here so to finally be able to use it in her own favor…she couldn't help but embrace that.

The sun was going down, they decided to tie the horse up and leave him where he was, and as Neal found a large dead branch to use as a torch through the thick forest, she took the cloak off and let the cool air do its best to calm her. It didn't work nearly as well as she'd expected it to, but how could it as Neal held out his arm for her and the pair of them set off in search of a "a clearing where nothing grew and magic was thick in the air." She felt like she had energy finally, she felt like she could barely contain her nerves as they went on. They were close. They were so close to getting him back. And she felt like her body knew it, could feel it, every step she took her heart raced faster and faster and faster and-

"How are you not freezing right now?" Neal finally asked as they walked on. "You should have grabbed that cloak-"

"I feel fine, warm even," she interrupted quickly, her skin tingling, she felt like she was about to start jumping up and down just to get rid of the energy she had that she didn't need.

"That's a strange feeling for these temperatures."

"I'm nervous. Excited, I suppose," she admitted, wondering if words would help her disperse it. "I've missed him, hated having him gone. I think about him all the time, you know. And…ever since it happened I…I haven't been able to stop thinking about Rumple's sacrifice. I mean how he died to save everyone in Storybrooke!" It was an overwhelming thought, one that she hadn't allowed herself to truly consider until this moment because it had been too painful but he was a hero. He'd died a hero! And now, maybe after all this was over he'd get to bask in that feeling for a while, in the realization that he'd done something great for everyone-

"You know that wasn't it," Neal corrected quickly, throwing her one of those gentle brotherly gazes she'd come to love, though was learning to associate with disappointing news. "He died to save us," he insisted, "his family."

Maybe. Maybe that was true. Maybe he did just want to save Neal, and her, and Henry. Maybe he'd come to understand, just as she had that 'his family' extended even to Mary Margaret, David, Emma, even the Evil Queen! But no matter what he'd seen it as it didn't matter. Neal was right but she was too. When he'd died he'd saved all of Storybrooke and not just them. Good had won out in the end.

"Least he died a hero," she countered. At least he'd died doing the right thing, and now, this trip, bring him back…it was the right thing to do as well.

"Were you surprised he had it in him?" Neal asked suddenly, the words all coming out too fast for her to believe that he'd only had that question in him for a few seconds before asking. It sounded like something he'd wanted to talk to her about for months but hadn't breeched because of what it might to do her, it was like only now that they were about to finally succeed in what they'd started he felt like he could.

"Of course not!" she answered her nose turning up at the suggestion that she'd ever doubted him in all her life. "Why? Why were you?" she asked back, the question shocked her. Neal knew Rumple had goodness in him, they'd talked about it frequently, they'd talked about it when they first arrived at the castle. But after all these months together it never ceased to amaze her quickly Neal could still sway when it came to his father, his life, his sacrifice, his death! It was funny, it was only now that they were getting closer that she felt like she could talk about his death because soon it would all be over! The pain was still there, the hole in her heart still a present and constant reminder that they hadn't succeeded yet, but they would! Soon they would. She'd see her Rumple, Rumple would see the two of them had become family and Neal and Rumple…well, maybe they could begin to heal. Maybe someday she wouldn't feel like she had to stand between them and be the connector they needed to maintain their relationship.

"I don't know," he answered sounding genuinely confused as he looked around the forest again, avoiding her eyes, squinting through the dim light. "I mean, my papa was never the most selfless guy. I know he wished he hadn't let me go through that portal, I know how sorry he was," he amended quickly, as if he knew that was the place she usually reminded him of it. "But…now that I have a son of my own I can't ever imagine doing what he did," Neal admitted.

There is was. The truth, the good honest truth. No cover-ups, no hiding, no pretending. That was what Neal had been feeling all along, the problem between them, the thorn in their relationship. Henry had brought them together and ironically it was Henry, his presence and Neal's relationship to him that threatened to drive them apart again.

"He regretting what happened with you so much! He was willing to do anything to get back to you," she insisted again, doing her best to remind him once more that it was two different situations but they were both responding in the same way. They had to stop focusing on their differences. They had to start looking at how they were similar. They were both fathers. They'd both missed out on too much of their sons lives. They'd both do anything to change that. That was the place to start! If only she could get Neal to see that. If only she could get Rumple to understand they had to start new and not where they'd left off all those years ago!

"That's one thing about him I can relate to, is I would do anything to get back to Henry," he vowed. She knew that. She knew that none of this was about finding Rumple or bringing back his father. Steps on a path. For her this wasn't going to be an end, because she wanted Bae back with his family and happy, but getting Rumple back was certainly more important to her on a number of different levels than it was for Neal. For Neal, it was just another step…but she had hoped it would be a little bit more than-

She felt a shiver run through her body and glanced around as they continued to make their way through the forest. It didn't look any different than where they'd just been walking…but if felt as though they'd just walked through a frozen waterfall! "It's, uh, it's getting colder," she informed Neal wondering if he could feel it through his many layers of clothes. He didn't confirm if he could or not, merely cast her a quick glance that made her think he wanted desperately to tell her she should have brought his cloak with her again as they walked on, toward…a clearing?

Yes! "Look!" she muttered pointing down the hill toward something that didn't make sense. Yes, it was cold and yes there was snow on the ground in unmelted piles around them but up ahead there was _snow_ on the ground! Fresh snow! Snow only falling in one small little area of pine trees. Neal tapped her on the shoulder and made a motion to the candle sitting in his bag, his eye brows raised as he asked the silent question. Did she want him to light it and ask him for confirmation? No.

She shook her head and marched on to investigate herself. The closer she got the more she realized she just didn't need the candle to tell them they were in the right place. It was strange, out of place. It was colder, just as Lumiere had said it would be. But above all, what convinced her that it wasn't her imagination and they'd finally arrived was one simple hair raising fact.

It felt magical.


	33. Out of Steps

4 Months, 1 Weeks, 3 Days

They followed the dark clouds overhead and the snow floating in the isolated area like a beacon until they couldn't avoid it anymore. It crunched under their boots, untouched and pristine for so many years she didn't even want to take a guess at how long this had been here. Frankly, she wasn't even sure what "this" was. A clearing. Lumiere had told them it was a clearing, and though the pine trees were thick and clouded her vision she could see through them enough to see that it was a clearing, but how to get into the clearing was another matter entirely.

They were just pine trees! Nothing but bark, and sap, and branches with evergreen needles, but they were too thick to allow entrance. Neal had a sword, or had at one point, but she honestly couldn't remember if he'd brought it with them this time. If he had they could just cut their way through she supposed, but still it would be-

"Belle," she glanced over to find Neal only a few feet away looking into the brush with his makeshift torch raised in one hand, and the other extended toward her, a silent beckon to come closer. "This way," he muttered and as she moved along the wall of trees barring their path she suddenly found that he was right. It wasn't solid pine trees, there was a path, big enough for just two or three people to enter, cutting right into the center of…what was that?!

Neal kept a steadying hand on her as she strode forward, slipping on the wet snow, before walking the path, Neal's torch providing little light in the dying sun but it looked like…a tree stump? A tree stump? That was it? And a clearing? They'd come all this way for an empty space and a tree stump? Where was the vault that Lumiere had promised them? Were they in the wrong place after all? It certainly didn't feel like the wrong place, it just looked like…like nothing! "Come on let's get what we came here for!" Neal stated suddenly. "Let's get my father!"

"How?" she asked. "There's nothing here!"

"And I know the first person I'm gonna ask about that," he muttered, sticking his torch into the snow and slinging his bag to the ground after removing the candle from it. She shivered as she watched Neal work. Yes, it was certainly colder, and the place did have that dark feel to it, the one that she'd recognized from her days in the castle but that feeling had never been this strong before, never made her shiver, or her body twitch and jump. That was just excited nerves…wasn't it? Before her eyes Neal lit the candles, Lumiere burst to life once more, and she tried her best not to let on that she was feeling as though she was suddenly sick.

"You found it!" he responded right away. "Thank heavens!" She supposed that was a good sign, that they were in the right place after all, but that didn't change the fact that she saw nothing before her now! It didn't change the feelings in the pit of her stomach.

"Now what?" Neal questioned stiffly, still careful around the object even after he'd led them all this way.

"Head to the center of the clearing, under the ice and snow you shall find the entry way to the vault."

He glanced at her then marched into the open clearing as instructed. After a moment of looking around, she assumed to make sure he was in the center he glanced down and started kicking at the snow, lifting bits and pieces of the fresh powder off the forest floor, until he knelt down and began shoving snow out of the way with more and more purpose. He'd found something?!

She approached cautiously, the feel of magic still prickling her skin and making her stomach turn. It was strange, they were getting closer, they were here, minutes, maybe only second's way, from getting him back and…she thought she'd feel better than this. Thought she'd feel excited now that they were here about to get him back but the feel in this place was so rotten it left a bad taste in her mouth and sent shivers down her spine. This was right…wasn't it?

"Belle!" Neal called suddenly, loudly into the night as he began to work faster, more frantically. She pushed the thoughts out of her mind and knelt down next to him.

It didn't look like a vault. It looked like a giant manhole, like something they'd find on the streets of Storybrooke, only the markings on this one…they looked like ancient symbols of some kind but they didn't exactly give her good feelings like random designs she'd seen in the past. They didn't even give her neutral feelings! And that marking in the center…it didn't match the others, didn't look like the others. Circles, triangles, the shape of the sun, and a "Y" just like the key formed!

"The, uh, the key must go in the middle," she observed, but Neal had already pulled it out of his shirt and was eyeing it up, one step ahead of her. He looked it over as if comparing the two, then hesitated and it was the moment that she felt relieved that he had that she realized she wasn't the only one that got a bad feeling about this place. No, something didn't feel right, she wished she had the words to describe it, but she knew Neal felt it too!

"You're sure about this?!" he called over his shoulder as she continued to examine it her stomach tightening over and over again with each glance. It didn't feel like excitement. Not anymore. Was that just the Dark Magic in the air effecting her? Or was it more? She glanced back at the candle…Lumiere was sure, wasn't he? "I spent two hundred years in Rumpelstiltskin's library, witnessing more magic and dark sorcery than any living creature has ever seen…"

"I'm, I'm sorry," her stomach did a roll again, but this time she knew why. This time it made sense. It wasn't Rumple's library. Rumple never worked in that tower, not to her knowledge, certainly never when she'd been there and if the way it had been sealed off was any indication then certainly not after she'd left. The library hadn't belonged to him, he'd pretended it had, until they arrived in Storybrooke and the pronoun sudden changed along with their relationship, there was never any dark sorcery or magic that happened in there other than possibly when he'd found the time to create it for her…which certainly hadn't been two hundred years ago.

"How long did you say you were there?" she questioned back at the candle, wondering if she'd heard wrong, giving him the opportunity to correct himself…but also just enough rope to hang himself with as well.

"Two hundred years, at least!" he declared boldly again.

Her eyebrow lifted at the story because that's all it was, a story…she knew she'd never seen that candle before! And if he'd suddenly appeared now, in a room shut off from the world since her departure and led them to a place that didn't feel like it was right…maybe trust should have been relevant.

"He's lying!" she informed Neal, just in the nick of time before he could turn that key. But instead of the normal trust and belief she always saw in his eyes there was something more there, behind the fear that he was lying-hope. Hope that the candle was right about everything. Hope this would work. Hope he'd be on his way to Henry soon. She couldn't blame him for that though she needed Neal to understand just how much the candle couldn't be trusted! For all she knew the key and vault belonged to something that would free a terrible beast from its cage! She knew how much he wanted this, how much she wanted it too, but she just couldn't ignore what was obviously right in front of them. Something wasn't right! And they shouldn't do this until it was.

So she turned back to the candle, determined to get to the bottom of all of this and expose the lies, get truthful answers from the deceiving creation. "Rumple built that library for me!" she shouted at the fiery face, "not long before the curse…it's been there barely thirty years!" she corrected, drawing his lie into the real light.

"Who are you?!" Neal shouted angrily behind her. "Unless you want to spend the rest of eternity under a snow drift you better start talking!" he threatened.

The candle was silent for a moment, looking her and Neal over carefully as if debating his options though she really didn't understand what options he had! It was them or nothing, a snow drift as Neal had said…wasn't it?! "I am who I appear to be," the candle answered suddenly, "only it wasn't Rumpelstiltskin who turned me into this wretched form…it was…the Wicked Witch of the West."

Her stomach dropped. "The Wicked Witch?!" she questioned not wanting to believe it. "She told you to lead us here?!" The one that they were all running around trying to find, the one they were hunting, the one that had captured an entire village to make sure they stayed out of her way…the one that had egged her and Neal on, told them she expected more of them. Her heart sank. She wanted this. Zelena wanted them to do this…good as it sounded to have him back in their life, to go get Henry and Emma, it felt wrong, which meant it probably was wrong.

"She wants you to bring back the Dark One so she can control him with his dagger." She felt her jaw drop. The dagger. She knew that would be at the center of all this somehow. The true key to figuring this out! Did that mean Zelena had the dagger already? Had she found it before them? She hadn't even thought to look at the books in her library to research what had happened to it…she'd blindly followed Lumiere's orders. No more. From this point on, they worked on their own, without his assistance. Without anyone's assistance.

"Okay, we need to leave this place," she stated, looking at Neal. They needed to leave as soon as possible! Now! If the witch wanted this then she might be nearby, they had to go regroup somewhere, maybe even go back to the castle, where she was certain they'd be safe from her and do their own research like they should have done before! They needed to figure out where the dagger was, who had it, what was going on, then they could revisit this as a possibility, but not now…even if it did break her heart all over again.

"Belle, wait!" Neal urged glancing back at the vault at the center of the clearing. "This means we can bring him back, does it matter who got us here?!"

Yes, yes it did! She knew how much he wanted to find his son, she knew how much Rumple meant for that, but when the dagger was involved they needed to make sure they knew everything first, that they held all the cards and the dagger too! Not Zelena. She didn't know what the witch wanted with her Rumple but if she had that dagger, had control over him, it couldn't be good for anyone least of all him.

"Rumple didn't sacrifice his life for good so he could return to be a…a slave to evil!" she argued.

"My father," Neal muttered confidently, "is the king of loopholes, I'm sure he'll figure out a way to deal with her!"

"What if he can't?!" she questioned, trying to make him see reason. "Think what she could do if the Dark One was under her control!" Neal only looked at the key in his hand with far too much interest than she'd like. She wanted him to drop it, to go back to the castle with her, and find another way. Another option. Another step in their path, she was tired of them too, but they couldn't take another step if the ground was shaky, that was how people got hurt. She reached out for his arm, trying to distract him from the horrible temptation in his hands. "We'll find another way to bring him back!" she assured him, hearing that mothering tone in her voice. She hoped he'd hear it too, hoped he'd accept it as he had before-

"What if there is no other way?!" he fought back, looking down at her as if she'd just said the stupidest thing on the planet. Never, not once, in all their time together had he ever looked at her like that! His sudden lack of respect, lack of trust, hope…it made her want to cry. She had to collect herself, recover from the sudden slap in the face and tell him there was hope, they'd figure it out, he'd be with Henry again soon. If only she could find the right words.

"I can't waste any more time, I need to get back!" he insisted suddenly, pulling away from her and making quick giant strides toward the center of the clearing. "To hell with the cost!" he shouted.

"That's what your father told himself when he forged The Curse, when he condemned countless people to misery!" She hadn't planned for those words to come out of her mouth, they just had. But Neal was right there, ready to go and she was afraid that if she ran over there and tried to stop him he'd only act faster! That key was no better than a loaded gun, and if she acted too rashly, he could pull the trigger faster than she could snatch it away. Words were the only thing that she had to fight with now, a chilling thought all on its own. She and Bae never fought.

"Don't make the same mistake he made!" she begged. No, she didn't know if Rumple had said those words exactly but she knew that he'd forsaken everything to get Neal back, left pieces of his soul behind with every step _he _took. That was the part of him that she felt like she'd eternally do battle with to save the real Rumpelstiltskin, it was the evil that had pushed Neal away from the father he loved! She'd told him all this once before, on the day they arrived and he wanted to use the witch's magic to cross realms and get back to his family. It had worked then, so as much as it grated against her to use Rumple like that, like he wasn't some hero to be emulated…it was the only chance she felt that she stood at reaching Baelfire. It had worked before.

And it was failing now. He squatted there for a long time, his back to her, trying to keep his balance as he shifted on the snow. For the briefest of moments she thought she had him, that he'd stand up, kick snow over the terrible scar on the earth and it's key, so no one could ever find it again, and retreat with her. Then he shifted and she saw that he hadn't been trying to keep his balance, kneeling there in the snow, he'd fixed the key into the lock and his hand hovered over the key.

"Neal wait!" she shouted, but it was too late…

He'd already pressed it into the ground.


	34. Lost and Found and Lost Again

4 Months, 1 Week, 3 Days

She stood back and watched in horror as that terrible disc in the center glowed a vibrant red against the white snow and Neal…

He screamed.

She felt frozen, unable to get the message to her legs that she needed to go to him and get him away from there, when Neal promptly turned and landed on his belly in the snow! From a distance she watched trying to put it all together to figure out what was happening. The orange was glowing brighter, as if it was hot as boiling lava. Neal was looking at…his hand? The hand that turned the key?! Something mechanic sounded from the vault beneath the snow and she squinted through the dark to see the orange glow had vanished and the door was…gone! She felt at war with herself. Part of her wanted to run forward, to see what would happen, to see if Rumple would emerge another part simply wanted to reach forward, grab Neal and run, get out of there while they still could! But Neal wasn't moving either. He was on the ground looking, staring at the same spot that she was watching the same horrific sight. The door wasn't gone it was simply covered, in blackness. Filling with a liquid that reminded Lacey of tar and…something was rising out of it.

Something was happening.

Something in her chest was moving, squirming, in the place the hole was…had been.

The shape…it was taking form, slowly and unexplainably. She could make out a head, shoulders, spine! It wasn't possible that this had all worked? Was it?

"Rumple?" she questioned skeptically. The blob didn't respond, merely hovered and continued to-

"AHH! AHH!" the cry pulled her gaze away from the blob, distracted her from the strange stirring in her chest, and finally allowed her to unfreeze and run to her step-son.

"Neal?" she cried, "Neal! What's wrong?!" she questioned as he writhed and cringed on the ground. She gathered him up as best she could, tried to identify the hurt, the injury. But she couldn't find one! "Are you okay?" she questioned, trying, hoping he'd tell her something she could use to identify the problem. He only continued to twitch in agony, only each sharp snap of his body seemed to be less than the last one. Maybe it would pass!

"Neal, it's okay. Just hold on, okay?" Just hold on until it passed, until it was over, until she could figure out-

Light. She felt light. She felt…she felt…extraordinary? Capable? Whole. That was it. For the first time in months she felt whole again and the shocking realization nearly took her breath away! There was only one way she'd ever be able to feel that way, this way, ever again.

Neal had stilled, gone slack in her arms and she dared for a moment to glance over at the vault he'd opened, at the blackness that he'd released into the world.

For the second time she lost her breath. Her heart seemed to stop and her eyes flooded with tears as she looked at what they'd done.

Rumpelstiltskin.

"Belle," he whispered as if in a dream.

His voice, that smile, that tone that he'd given her sounded as if it was just another normal day. As if she'd just walked into his shop to go to dinner or back home. He looked like the Dark One, greenish gold skin, reptilian eyes and all, just the way she remembered…but he was her Rumple, through and through! She wished she could say something. She wished she could do something other than stare and exist there on the verge of tears but-

"Bae!" the light faded from his eyes as he made his way over to them registering that something was wrong and he had the dagger! Bae was right…if only she could figure out what was wrong with him! "No!" Rumple cried sinking down next to her and taking his sons limp form from her. He wasn't crying in pain anymore, but somehow she didn't get the feeling that whatever had knocked him off his feet had passed and the look on Rumple's face, his worried voice only seemed to confirm it. What had they done? "Bae," Rumple whispered, trying to rouse him. It didn't seem to work.

"Poor Baelfire," the voice chilled her cold blood. It had been a while since she'd heard that cool, emotionless voice, but she recognized it immediately. Zelena. She'd been right the witch had been nearby waiting…for this? No! It couldn't be! How did she expect to get the dagger by doing…this? "Just couldn't learn from his father's mistakes. He wanted so badly to get back to his son…couldn't see the forest through the trees," she commented in a sweet sympathetic voice that didn't match her happy smile.

"You did this!" Rumple growled, pointing the dagger at her threateningly. "You tricked him!"

"All I did was provide some vital information with the help of a friend." She kept her hand steady on Bae's arm as she fought back her confused horror. Lumiere. They never should have trusted him! "Then your son did the rest."

"You didn't tell him the price," Rumple corrected angrily.

"Oops," the witch taunted without shame. "It's a sin of omission, love. Although, I thought it was rather obvious: a life for a life."

Her stomach turned. A life for a life. How could she not have seen? How could she not have guessed or done more to stop him when he had the chance! All magic comes with a price! Hadn't that been the first thing she'd learned about magic years ago?! The price to bring back the Dark One was a human life. Neal wasn't recovering or resting or getting over his pains, he was getting worse…he was dying!

"It's gonna be alright son!" Rumple assured Neal, but just looking at his face she wasn't sure he could hear him or her even!

"Oh, I do doubt that," Zelena taunted, twisting the knife in her heart further. She'd gotten her Rumple but the price, her price…her best friend, her big brother, her son! No! He couldn't be! He just…he just…no! She couldn't have come all this way just to…no! No, she wouldn't lose him…she couldn't bear it! Suddenly the arm she'd kept around Baelfire, just under Rumple as they struggled to support his weight, felt a gentle squeeze just at her elbow and looked up to find her Rumple there glancing down at her.

"Go!" he insisted urgently.

She didn't want to. She wanted to stay here with him, with Neal. She couldn't live with the idea of letting him sit here and hold his son's dying body all because she hadn't done more to stop him, over-estimated how well she knew him. But her body wasn't listening to her mind at the moment. He'd told her to go, so she nodded, knowing that if he was trying to get her to leave it would be for her own good, so there weren't more casualties tonight. Unhappily she finished putting him into his father's arms and backed away unable to stop glancing at the witch as she moved, not wanting to turn her back on her. They'd follow. Rumple would have a plan, fix this, and take Neal and her to safety. Wouldn't he?

"I'm not gonna let him go," Rumple refused stubbornly, holding his son tight against his chest. Suddenly a strange flash caught her eye, making her stop her motions. It was Rumple! He was the one flashing, glowing brightly as he clutched Neal closer and her instinct to run disappeared. What was he doing? How did he plan on solving this?

Neal started to cry out in pain again at each flash and she had to fight the urge to run to them, to help!

"Sorry Rumple," the witch muttered as the scene played out before her. His grip was slackening! No. Not his grip. Just…the dagger! "You can't hang on to both of them."

Suddenly she understood, the sick twisted tug of war that Zelena had put him in the middle of. Either let his son go, again, to protect the dagger from her. Or…Before she could do anything, run forward and help, take the dagger from him and relieve some of the pressure, help save Neal…it was too late. He'd made his choice, the choice she knew he should have made years ago, the choice he'd always wished he could do over. With barely a second of hesitation he threw the dagger away from him and held Neal closer.

He'd chosen his son over his power.

Over his freedom.

"Wow," she witch smiled reaching down and taking it from the ground, "I didn't think you had it in you."

There were no words in existence, nothing to come up with to describe the thoughts she had racing through her mind. She'd planned this…perfectly planned it all along. Goaded them into doing just this…and now this was just as much her fault as it was Zelena's and…Neal!

She glanced over to look at Neal, to see if he'd managed to save him in time, to preserve him, but what she saw…it was Rumple and Neal…then there was no Neal…only empty air as Rumple drew him into his chest and he disappeared…leaving Rumple looking like he was going to be sick.

What had she just seen? What had happened? What had they done? What had she done?! Where was Neal?!

"You've got your son," Zelena mocked. "But you've lost yourself."

His face changed, rippled almost, making her jaw drop as she watched. It wasn't Rumples nose or his eyes…not his familiar gaze…it was Neal…but then it was him again, only not him. Rumple had saved Neal, taken him on himself to keep him alive, absorbed him somehow, but the price of magic like that…! She watched helpless as he collapsed onto all fours, unable to hold himself up.

"Rumple?" she heard herself cry as she watch him, wanting to run over and help him up, help him get as far away from here, and knowing it would do him no good so long as Zelena held that dagger.

"No!" he insisted, crawling there on the floor, looking suddenly lost and confused, helpless to the point of physical pain! "No Rumple," he mumbled frightened. "No ro…no room…no Rumple!" he yelled at her. She felt tears cascade down her cheeks. Oh, what had he done to himself? What had she forced him to do to their family?! She felt whole again, the place in her chest their bond existed had returned, healed…but it just wasn't worth…this.

"Enough of this!" Zelena drawled, sounding bored with this entire affair as she searched his eyes desperately. He looked back just as eagerly, looking like he was trying to find something familiar in her just as she was trying to find in him. But she saw nothing, nothing more than brief glances that were him then Neal then nothing again, too quick and unpredictable for her to catch onto. "Your madness is your burden not mine," Zelena went on as if he was nothing but a childish…slave! "It's time to go, but before we do…kill her!"

Her jaw dropped as she glanced up at the witch. Kill her. Kill her?! No. He wouldn't. He couldn't…at least the Rumple she knew couldn't do it. This Rumple, this state he found himself in that she couldn't even really call living, she didn't know what he could do in it. He glanced up at her, looking terrified, but there was too much inside of him for her to really see him, to understand what could possibly be going through his mind! Would he do it? Could he? Would she go to her death with those unfamiliar eyes haunting her, knowing she'd failed in every possible way?

"Rumple?" she questioned, hoping he had something in him, some ability to fight, to overcome all this, but she didn't see hope in his eyes. Just nothing.

Suddenly a bright burst of light caught her eye, Zelena wrapped in…flame! What now?! "I can't keep her for long!" Lumiere called out behind her as the witch struggled against her fiery bonds. In all this mess she'd nearly forgotten the candle was still lit! "GO! Hurry! Don't make me regret this flash of conscious! Get out of here!"

He was helping her! Giving her a way to escape, but…Rumple.

She glanced down at him, every second he seemed less and less like himself, growing only worse by the second instead of better. She didn't know what would happen if she stayed, didn't know what he'd do to her, or what was going through his mind. But she knew one thing, one command that kept echoing through her mind, the only two words he'd said to her…_Belle_…_Go!_ This was what he'd tried to prevent, to keep her from becoming the next target. They'd already lost Neal, she'd lost him, and if he lost her by his own hands, even in madness…she'd never get him back, she'd never fix this and there would certainly be no hope that he'd ever recover! As much as she wanted to stay, to take him with her, to never leave his side again, she had to do what he'd told her to. She had to go.

Somehow she managed to tear herself away from the spot she'd been planted in the snow and moved around them. "You're gonna regret this candle!" she heard the witch scream as she reached down to take Neal's bag. Yes. If she left the traitorous candle there he probably would regret it, if he lived. She couldn't free the man within, she had no desire to after all this, but he'd helped save her, something Rumple would be grateful for if he could. So without questioning why, she grabbed the candle and ran away from her deranged lover…as fast and as far as she could.


	35. Hopeless Determination

4 Months, 1 Weeks, 3 Days

And so she ran. She ran as fast as she could and as far as she could. She ran until the snow turned back into soggy dirt. Until the air grew slightly warmer, then until she couldn't feel it any more. She ran until there was no more light in the sky, until her side hurt and she was out of breath and then she kept on running, retracing their steps. She ran until…until she saw their horse, right where they'd left him. She ran until she could see the rope he was tied to the tree by and the intricate design on Bae's cloak still slung across the beasts back.

She managed a glance over her shoulder but didn't see any sign of the witch or Rumpelstiltskin following, threatening to kill her. She also didn't see the lifted root that the toe of her boot caught on, sending her falling onto her belly as the candle she'd forgotten she was carrying flew from her hand.

The fall had knocked her breath out of her but she didn't have time to care about that! She rolled over quickly, looked down the path she'd taken, studied it carefully, looking for even the slightest hint that the Witch was hiding among the bushes, or her monkeys were spying on her. But there was nothing behind her. Suddenly she grit her teeth together, feeling confident no one was coming after her, and she had a small advantage. She had Neal, she had her Rumple, she'd planned this all along…how long?! Anger washed over her. Seething rage and she glanced over her shoulder and located the candelabra, crawled over to it and quickly snatched it up off the ground as she reached into her pocket for one of the match sticks she and Neal had been carrying with them and lit the cursed object.

Just like always the face flared to life in an instant and she felt herself snarl at the wretched object. After everything he'd done she really didn't know why she'd felt compelled to save him, but now that she had him there had to be a way to undo this to use him to her advantage! "What are you doing you insolent girl?!" the Candle screeched at her after taking a brief look around the forest. "You have not run far enough! Do you not know they will come after us?!"

"No! Not until you've told me everything I need to know!" she argued.

"What good is knowledge if we are both dead?!"

"What good is wasting more of my time? Our time?!" she countered quickly. Until she heard footsteps behind her she didn't want to move! There had to be something that could be done and she wasn't going any further until she knew what it was. "How do I fix this?" she demanded. "How do I reverse it?"

The candle stared at her for a long time, as if daring her to blow the thing out, get on the horse, and take them farther away. But she stood her ground, stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest, and vowed that if he didn't answer her and Zelena did catch up with them, she'd leave him behind for good. Finally, after a minute of wasted staring the candle offered a sympathetic sigh. "You can't," he insisted.

She fought hard to resist the urge to bite her cheek in anger. More lies. It had to be more lies, she refused to believe that it was anything other than a lie! Because if it wasn't a lie, if she couldn't fix it-

"No, I refuse to believe that!"

"I can't help you if you refuse to believe the truth!"

"Why should I believe you?"

"What benefit to me is it to lie to you?!" he shouted at her. "What I know of magic comes from years of watching the Wicked Witch work! Unless you think you know how to reverse time, there is no way to undo what you've done. The Dark One was dead, now he is not. If you wish to reverse the death you'll have to take the dagger and kill the Dark One yourself, but should you choose to go down that path you should know that it would only result in you taking on the curse yourself."

She held her hands up to her mouth in shock and horror. It was true. All of it, she knew it was true. He'd told her that himself once, in the back of his shop when he'd first shown the dagger to her, months ago, before Neverland and Lacey and even Hook, when they'd hid it together. It wasn't possible for them to never have met and yet both tell the same story. Which could only mean…she couldn't undo what Neal had done. But then…what about the rest of it.

"What about Neal?" she begged. "How do I save him? How do I get him back?"

"I know nothing of that."

"Think harder!" she screamed at the light. She needed to get that dagger back, away from Zelena and she couldn't do it by herself. She needed Neal, she'd always needed Neal. Every step she'd taken since the day she'd lost him Neal had been there, by her side what was she supposed to do without him? How was she supposed to get the dagger and rescue his father? How was she supposed to rescue Neal without Rumpelstiltskin? There had to be a way. There just…she couldn't…somehow it had to be possible. It did!

"The boy's fate is his own doing," the candle slurred, making her hands ball into tight fists.

"YOURS!" she corrected. "We never would have been out there if you hadn't led us there, hadn't waved that key in front of him like a magical answer to everything!"

"Magic is NEVER an answer to anything!" the flame shot back. "It can only ever be a temporary or false fix at best! All magic comes with a price and I'd have thought the son of the Dark One would know that himself!"

"He was desperate to get back to his son! You took advantage of his emotions and desires just as Rumpelstiltskin does, just like Zelena did-"

"Do not compare me to that evil-"

"Witch?!" she blanched. "What else do I have to think of you as? Change my mind! Help me now, for real! How do I save Neal? How do I fix this? How do I get the dagger from Zelena and get my family back?"

"It cannot be done," he echoed in a smaller more sympathetic voice. "The Dark One used his own magic to save his son. Magic I know not. And even if there was some way you managed to free the boy without being destroyed by Rumpelstiltskin he would still perish in a matter of minutes. The stronger The Dark One grows the weaker the sacrifice must grow until he is snuffed out completely. That is the way it works. There is no way to undo it. I am sorry."

Sorry.

He was sorry.

He wasn't sorry. He was sorry it hadn't worked out the way he'd expected it to, he was sorry that Zelena hadn't had the chance to free him…

But she might have. She might have freed him for his service, since he had done was he'd promised…if only he hadn't saved her in the processes. Had he? Had he really saved her? _"Kill her!" _Zelena held the dagger and that was what Zelena had ordered. And yet they'd stared at each other for what felt like hours without the blow ever coming. Could he kill her in this state? She didn't believe he could as himself, but like this?! Was that possible?

She sat back and let her head drop into her hands. How had this all gone so horribly wrong so quickly?! "What are the consequences of what he's done? Of sharing a body with his son?" she begged of the candle. Just how much had he learned from Zelena over the years?

"Oh! The body is not meant to share two souls, no matter how stained or how weak one of them may be. The brain simply cannot handle it!" he scoffed.

"Enough riddles!" she snapped at the flame. She didn't need allusions to what was true. The damage had been done, now she needed to assess how bad it truly was. "Tell me what will happen to Neal and to Rumple now," she insisted.

"They cannot remain bonded to each other. They will be driven mad by one another. A normal person, two normal people sharing a brain might last a few months, the Dark One is more powerful, the curse makes him harder to destroy. He might last longer but there is no way to tell."

"And Neal?" she questioned. "What will happen to him? If I could find a way to save him what would happen to his mind?" The candle looked at her sympathetically, opened its mouth as if shocked he had to explain this, but then closed it again. "What would happen to Neal's mind?!" she demanded more forcefully.

"He might hold on a little longer with The Dark One's mind as the primary source," he finally answered sharply. "But his mind is still the weaker of the two and his soul was severely weakened when the Dark One joined the pair of them to begin with. Death might be the better option." Death might be…well that meant… could only mean…

Neal.

Her best friend.

Her brother.

Her…son!

Baelfire…

He was…he would be…and she'd…

She felt her stomach turn and had the urge to crawl away and throw up somewhere, to curl into that same ball she'd been in the moment her world had died months ago, before Neal had helped to resurrect her hope. She had her bond back, her soul was intact, but what good was that. Her family, the ones that mattered, they might never be the same. They would never be the same! Best case scenario she'd lose one of them! If she was able to find a way to spare Neal's life, she'd have to get past Zelena to do it! She'd have to get Rumple to trust her enough to release him! She'd seen him back there! Heard his rants, his childish mumbling and seen his confused eyes! She might not even be able to get through to him! And then even if she did, even if everything went perfectly, if she got past Zelena, if she managed to get Rumple to let Neal go, and found a way to save his life…could his mind be saved? Would there me anything left?

And if she failed. If it didn't work and Neal died anyway, what kind of life was that for Rumple, his son dead? It had nearly killed him before he left for Neverland, if Neal died, if he had his mind, and knew he'd given his freedom for her to fail…this was hopeless.

Truly hopeless in every way. She didn't have time to figure it out, she didn't have the knowledge or the magic or the strength to do it on her own. In order to do anything, to have any hope of succeeding she'd have to act within a matter of months and there was no way she could do it by herself, not without an army of…people.

Not by herself, not alone…with people. No. She didn't need an army, she didn't need a million people just the right people! She needed help. She needed someone who knew magic, someone who could wield it without thought. She needed people who were stubborn, who knew how to create plans and refused to give up on the most impossible of all missions! She needed the kind of people that would run into a portal blindly after a boy and bring him back against all odds.

Snow White. David. Regina. Red and Granny and Robin Hood too. She needed more than herself for this mission and unless she was much mistaken they needed her too now. She'd just put the most dangerous weapon in all the realms into Zelena's hands

She had to fix this!


	36. A Guilty Conscious

4 Months, 1…2…3 Weeks, 3 Days

Once she resolved to go back to the castle she couldn't ignore the fact that Rumple coming after her and killing her was a very real possibility so she promptly blew Lumiere back out, secured him to the saddle and took off. She couldn't go back to Rumple's castle. With Rumple under Zelena's control she imagined she couldn't go back there again, every protection he'd had on it would be easily broken now…if she hadn't already figured out how to break the protection. Probably she had. Probably sealing the candle in her library was her doing. As for the other places, his room, her dungeons, Neal's bedroom…she didn't want to think of that possibility. She preferred to go to her grave believing that he'd done that…and Zelena…Zelena must have…she must have seen it and used it to…

If she thought about it too hard it all unraveled. So instead she focused on what she knew for certain. She couldn't go back to the castle. She couldn't collect the items, the supplies that she and Neal had left there thinking they'd return. In fact, if she followed that line of thinking, when she got back she wouldn't even be able to return home. She nearly broke into tears over the thought of living in the castle again with David and Snow until she realized how ridiculous she was being. Rumple was alive, Neal was…in a state of limbo and possibly… and amid all this she was upset because she'd have to live in a castle! With guards to protect her! With food and shelter even if the company was going to be…she didn't know how they'd respond to what had happened. She had to get back first to figure that out. But she most certainly couldn't stop first at his castle.

The closest village that she found was little more than bricks and mortar, a pitiful reminder that nothing was easily fixed even after months of trying, but it would do. She refused to stay with someone, refused to possibly put them at risk of the Dark One showing up in the middle of the night and murdering an innocent family just to get to her on Zelena's orders. So she used a few of the coins that they'd had left and paid for a stall at a long makeshift stable, the place that it looked like all the town was using with the exception possibly of a couple of hitching posts left in the front of yards and houses.

She didn't sleep.

Her horse did, she recognized the balanced sway that came with it as she huddled herself in the corner, hood up, heart racing, and ready at the slightest inclination to jump back on the beast and run as if her life depended on it…all the while knowing that if he came it would make no difference.

She lay low for a day.

When the sun finally rose, when villagers began to move about, even peer into the stall at the hooded figure sleeping in the barn, she rose too, but didn't leave. She couldn't. Even if she wanted to get back as fast as she could, she knew that there were things she had to do first, things she didn't want to care about but that Rumple and Neal would both scold her for if she didn't. Sometimes the fastest plan wasn't always the best one, and at the moment she needed the best plan. So when the women went out into the fields to gather berries, she followed after them and collected what she'd need for the sad journey home. After all, the others needed to be told what had happened and if she died of hunger on the way, they'd never know. She was able to barter a couple of loaves of bread off the knife that she had left, thinking that if the witch or Rumple caught her a knife would make little difference, though she had to admit that with every passing minute, every hour she spent alive, the fear that she would die by his hands eased and she began to wonder if it was really possible. Part of her didn't believe it was true, the other part of her wondered if she only believed it because she wanted to believe it so badly.

Finally, just before the sun went down, just before she huddled herself up again, she stopped a man walking by the stables and showed him the map, got an exact location of where she was, and with that was able to plot out her journey. Neal had done that part most of the time, it was the one part of this that she hadn't really learned, but she hoped that if she was careful, if she stopped and asked for help, if she stayed where it was crowded, she might just make it back without getting lost.

"Going to hear the Queen's announcement, are you?" the man asked as she secured the map.

"The Queen's announcement?" she questioned.

"Proclamation went out just last week carried by the fairies, lovely to see them again, of course they carry news the fastest, but then there is-"

"What," she shook her head and stopped the old man from launching into what she was sure would have been wonderful and interesting stories if she'd hadn't a second to waste. "What proclamation? What, what is the Queen's announcement?" Did they know already? Had Rumple gone to the castle to find her?!

"Well that's why they want people to gather isn't it? To hear the announcement! You're a bit early though aren't you? It'll take you a good two weeks to get there but the news won't be shared for another month so that everyone has time to arrive!" No. They wouldn't tell the world about their troubles with Zelena and even if they did why would they wait a month to do it?! The announcement was unrelated to what had happened in the mountains days ago…or at least as far as any of them knew.

Which was why, before the sun rose the next morning, but just as the first rays were starting to lighten the sky, she took off. There was no reason not to. She couldn't hunt but she had bread and water and berries, and Neal had taught her to forage well enough, there was no reason to waste time. Rumple wasn't coming. And deep down she felt foolish for ever thinking he might have been. With or without his mind, his heart belonged to her, and she was confident that Neal loved her to some degree just as she loved him. Neither of them were capable of hurting her even if they were ordered to. She could be safe, she _was_ safe from them! But that didn't mean that she was safe from Zelena and it certainly didn't mean that the rest of the Enchanted Forest was safe from both of them.

On she went, following the map, galloping through the forest. She ran the horses she rode ragged, galloped until they couldn't gallop anymore then let them walk, whenever she came upon a town she traded the poor beasts, with their shaky exhausted legs, for a new stronger horse, then started to gallop again. When she needed to sleep, she slept. When she woke up, she rode. When she was hungry she ate, when she ran out of food she foraged, when her legs felt numb and tired from riding a horse so long…well, she ignored that in favor of time.

"A good two weeks" the man had said it would take to get back. She caught sight of the castle only eleven days later. There on the hill she felt her stomach turn over. There was no telling how they felt about her now, about Neal. The last time they'd seen them had been over a month ago before they'd left and both of them had known just how against making this trip they were. She didn't know what they'd think of her when she first arrived, but she knew that it probably wouldn't be good by the time she finished weaving the tale. She didn't want to do this, but still, whether she liked it or not, it had to be done.

Before she could lose her fervor, before her courage could fade she kicked at the horses belly and took off for the castle. It drew closer and closer with every thunderous step the horse took, but she managed to keep her eye firmly placed on her destination until something from above distracted her, until something made her pull on the reins to stop the horse. Even over the pounding of the hooves she'd heard it, a small snap had echoed through the empty forest, and branches shuffled as one tumbled down from the top of the tree canopy to the brown ground below. A branch. No, she'd heard that, but that hadn't been the sound that had stopped her in her tracks and made her feel sick to her stomach. Her eyes traveled up, up into the trees until she found the source of the all too familiar screech she'd heard.

A monkey with wings.

Two of them to be exact, looking down at her with curious eyes. The witch, spying on her. It wasn't a good sign, she didn't know how long it would take for them to alert her to what had happened, to inform her she was back and about to tell Regina and Snow and David about what she'd done, but she knew she couldn't stop now.

They watched her, their devilish eyes never left her horse as they stared down at her. Why they didn't bother to attack her now she wasn't sure, but she knew that if she raced ahead it wouldn't matter. There was cover close enough, she just had to get there. "Go," she said drawing Neal's hood up over her head, but her voice only came out as a tiny whisper. No, she couldn't have come this far just to fail in the end! So she swallowed her fear down, grabbed the reins tightly, snapped them, kicked, and managed to yell "Go! Now! Go!"

The horse took off like a bullet, going faster than she knew it was possible for the beast to go, all the while she urged him on, trying to make him go faster, but just couldn't bring herself to look back. Only forward. Only toward the castle. Protected shelter! For all she knew the monkeys weren't coming after her at all and were there to spy on someone else, though she doubted it and surely didn't let the idea that she wasn't in danger cross her mind. Any second now the Witch could arrive and any second she'd have reinforcements against her.

The castle grew larger. She could make out windows and doors, she could make out the open gates, the vegetation, budding bushes and plants, finally each individual leaf came into view, early spring berries galore as she flew past guards in a blur. The stable doors were open and the guards were far behind her. She had time to change that. As soon as she stopped in the familiar room she halted the horse and hopped off, pushed the doors closed, catching a glimpse of clear empty sky, and lowering the lock just for extra measure. If the guards continued to chase her then they'd probably catch her. They'd let her go of course but it wouldn't delay her further and right now she couldn't-

"Belle!" a small voice called from behind her.

She spun quickly and noticed for the first time that she wasn't in the stables alone. Roland was perched on one of the stalls as Robin Hood held him in place. The boy had seen her first, and called out for her in delight, while his father just looked like he was in a state of shock! "Belle!" he echoed happily, "you're back!" She wanted so much to be happy to see them, to stop and hug Roland to tell Robin Hood she was good to see him. But there was no time. And if they were shocked to see her, then she needed to remain faceless until she found the right people. She couldn't risk anyone stopping her even to say "hello"! "Where's Neal?" Robin asked as she covered her face. No, she certainly couldn't answer that question.

"Snow White and David, Regina, where is everyone?!" she demanded ignoring his question.

"They're in the Queen's upper tower, where they always go to have private disagreements, there are visitors and…where are you going?!" he demanded as she moved around him, ready to go to the tower and tell them immediately when there was a bang on the doors she'd just sealed. Someone trying to get in, or something trying to get in?

"Go!" she insisted lowering the hood over her face. "Take Roland someplace safe, now! Don't ask questions just do it!" And without turning to see if the message was received she left the barn and quickly worked her way through the castle, up into the tower, the one that they'd used what felt like an eternity ago when everyone had arrived and they found out Zelena had kidnapped an entire town to ensure that she was left alone. Now, thanks to her and Neal, she didn't need to kidnap anyone, just make a certain threat with a unique knife.

She heard them before she saw them, partly because the hood was down over her eyes as she wanted to avoid them facing them for as long as she could. But after a certain point it was useless, her legs carried her into the room, the angry tones Regina had been using died away and she very clearly heard David question "What's this?" in her direction. She'd never wanted to not do something so much in her life. Nevertheless she removed her hood, revealing her identity and what she was sure would be called a frown but was really just a poor attempt to hold back more tears when she thought about Neal.

"Belle!" Snow shouted in surprise.

"Are you okay?" David questioned, looking her over, but still his gaze seemed to hover not on her eyes, but on her face. It wasn't easy to keep news like she had in and clearly he could tell that everything was not "okay". "When you and Neal disappeared we feared the worst," David added making her stomach turn. They'd feared the worst. The worst had happened. She just wondered if they knew what the worst was because she surely hadn't…and neither had Neal.

"We went off to see if we could…revive the Dark One," she admitted carefully, stating what she was sure David had suspected all along. What would she have given to return with Rumple at her side, for him to tell them there was a way the family could all be together again? What would she have given not to fail?

"What happened?!" Regina questioned, looking suddenly interested in business she'd barely been involved in up until this point because she'd been too busy chasing after her sister…if only she'd caught her, found her, taken her magic…if only what had happened hadn't happened.

"Neal was able to resurrect him…at the cost of his own life," she informed them, the words tumbling out of her before she could think of a better way to say them.

"Rumple's alive," she heard Regina remark, but Snow's reaction was what caught her eye.

"Neal's dead!" the Queen managed. She went deathly pale, her jaw dropped, her eyes looked shocked and wide…and sad. It was everything that she felt. She understood.

The lump was back in her throat because she didn't want it to be true, but after what Lumiere had said, about them sharing a body, a brain, she had a brief terrible horrible thought that maybe she needed to not just accept his death, but hope for it. "I think so," she answered honestly.

"To which?" Regina questioned, wanting clarification she didn't realize she had to provide. Was Rumple alive? Was Neal dead?

"Both," she answered sadly, realizing that she really couldn't be sure of anything right now. Yes, Rumple might be alive, but she honestly wasn't sure if she could call his current state living. And no, she didn't know for sure if Neal was dead, but he might be as good as dead and there was really no one she could blame for that other than herself, for not stopping him, for not seeing his desperation sooner! And she wasn't the only one, the glare Regina was giving her at the moment, it was distrusting, and cruel, and hard, and it was probably what she deserved…she and Neal. And they hadn't even heard the worst part yet.

"You see," she explained, "when Rumple saw that Neal was dying he…" what was the word for it? One moment Neal had been there the next he hadn't! The Dark One had taken him into himself and Father and Son were one, and she couldn't think of a single word, or flailing gesture to describe it accurately enough! "Absorbed him," she concluded. "And, um…Zelena got a hold of the dagger!" she blurted out, continuing with the theory that just saying it all at once would make it easier. From the look on every ones face, especially Regina's, that wasn't the case. "Now she controls Rumple," she pointed out obviously.

There were sighs and nervous glances all along the room and movement from a corner, people she hadn't realized were standing there. Philip and Aurora, the visitors that Robin Hood had mentioned. Why were they here? The announcement she'd gotten wind of?

"Maybe now isn't the time to announce the pregnancy," Aurora stated, looking at Snow White. Pregnancy? Someone was pregnant? That was it? The announcement that the fairies had delivered…it was _that _kind of announcement?! For Aurora? Didn't everyone already know she was pregnant? Her cloak hid it well, but she'd seen her just before she left with Neal without it, it wasn't exactly easy to hide anymore. And besides why was she looking so desperately then at…Mary Margaret. "Regina is right," Aurora went on, "it's too dangerous!"

"No, if we don't we give into fear but if we do we give the Kingdom what they need…hope!" Snow concluded.

"We don't even know what this Wicked Witch wants," David added. Her mind wanted her to talk, to shout at them to come to their senses, that no matter what she wanted if she had Rumple it wasn't going to be good! But she just couldn't stop staring. David and Mary Margaret, Snow White and her handsome prince were pregnant! That's what had happened while they were away?! She supposed that Snow did look like she might have been eating a bit more, stress she would have naturally assumed that came from losing a child, returning a dying Kingdom to its previous thriving state, not to mention having a witch being on the loose in that Kingdom, but pregnant?! How pregnant? She and Neal hadn't been gone _that _long! Six weeks. Could a woman even know she was pregnant in six weeks without a pharmacy at hand? Could magic have been used to detect it? Was that how they'd gotten the announcement out so fast? Before they left she knew Snow had been planning a trip to see the dwarves and the fairies. Had the Blue Fairy known or informed her in some way? Was that even-

"Actually we do," Aurora's choked voice muttered beside her, bringing her back to the matter at hand and not idol suspicions and theories she could speculate about, or better yet ask her about some other time. Yes, the witch's plans. That was the focus here. Not what David and Snow had been up to while she and Neal had been gone! The witch had been planning something all this time, and by the sound of Aurora's voice it didn't sound good. "She wants your baby," she informed Snow White sadly. There was silence in the room as everyone processed what she'd just said, tried to make sense of it. Zelena wanted…Snow's baby?

"She came to us when you were gone," Philip went on, joining the circle, "threatened us and our unborn child unless we told her when you arrived in our land." She felt her jaw drop. How had Zelena known that they'd arrive back in the Enchanted Forest in the first place? Did Zelena have a way to spy on them in Storybrooke? Across lands? Was that why they'd been "vacationing", as Neal had put it? Had they been there waiting for them this entire time?!

"She thinks your baby could be important. I'm so sorry, she said she'd hurt us," Aurora cried sounding downright terrified.

David took a small step forward, his hand already valiantly on his sword, and she imagined he was about to offer them the same protection here in the castle that had been offered to everyone upon their arrival from Storybrooke, but before he got the chance to speak the words there was a howling wind that whipped around Regina's room, raising the hair on the back of her neck, and making her feel sick. She knew that wind. And she wasn't the only one.

Snow spun around. David drew his sword. Philip pushed a fearful Aurora back. And as everyone took a few steps away from the green monster riding on a broomstick she suddenly realized that Aurora and Philip had every right to fear Zelena. The monkeys had been for them. They hadn't attacked her in the forest because they weren't under orders to spy on her or capture her. They'd been watching Aurora and Philip.

"And I make good on my promises," Zelena assured the pair of them with a falsely kind smile the moment she landed. She waved her hand and sent her broom soaring across the room, then with another wave in the blink of an eye Aurora and Philip were engulfed in a green cloud of magic. When it cleared, where two humans had once stood, there were now two winged primates. Her heart raced, she struggled for breath as her jaw dropped while she watched them exchange frustrated and confused screeches, before taking off into the night. Frightened tears held her in a vice and despite the horror of what she'd just witnessed only one thought crossed her mind. She could turn anyone she wanted into those winged monkeys. Was that what she'd do to Neal? To Rumple? Her family?

"What do you want with our baby?" Snow White demanded, making her look back at Zelena as she tried to get her mind to work, to focus, again!

"Calm down, Sweetie," Zelena insisted in that sweet voice that she'd become accustom to. But she was sick of it, as far as she was concerned Zelena's sweetness was nothing but sour rot! "You don't want to go into early labor!" she mocked.

Snow moved forward but Zelena waved her hand, her stomach turned as she waited for the monkey to appear, as she contemplated if she should run for help because she'd traded her knife…but Snow didn't become a monkey as Aurora and Philip did. She only seemed to freeze, stiff as a board…defenseless.

"Stay away from my wife!" David screamed angrily, drawing his sword and…with another wave the same thing happened to him. Frozen stiff!

"Ooo," Zelena piqued unenthusiastically at him, "someone's testy."

Next to her Regina let out an irritated sigh. She shared her irritation, it was growing just below her panic. For a grown woman Zelena was certainly displaying childish behavior but put a weapon in a child's hands and the child still needed to be handled carefully, not like-

"Enough, sis!" Regina snarled, striding forward. "This is between you and me." But as she held her hand out to wield magic of her own, Zelena froze her too with little effort.

"Now," Zelena stated moving around Regina and David and standing next to the frozen statue of Mary Margaret, "let's see if this was all worth it," she said reaching for the Queen, she could only assume to touch her belly.

She hadn't been frozen like the others, in fact she was certain Zelena had hardly noticed she was there and that was the only thing that was keeping her safe! She wanted to do something, anything, but she truly didn't believe there was anything she could do except make herself seem small and scream for help if Zelena did anything worse than touch. Small step by small step she was making her way out of the room. If things turned violent, with any luck she'd be able to find someone before they got too violent.

"Oh, yes!" she sighed with a happy smile on her face. "Yes it was, this child shall do quite nicely," the witch informed her helpless victim. "So take good care of it for me, don't forget to eat well," Zelena instructed the future mother as if she was planning on adopting the child herself. For all they knew, she was. "I will be back for your happy day and what's yours…will be mine!" the witch vowed with a gleeful laugh.

Too many things happened at once. A wave of Zelena's arm sent her broom rocketing back into her hand. Regina, Snow, and David all took grand motions forward as the spell wore off. And before any of them could raise a hand to the wicked woman, she'd taken off out the window on her broom, winged monkeys following after her as she moved across the sky.


	37. Uneasy Compromises

4 Months, 3 Weeks, 3 Days

"Snow!" David screamed, moving toward his wife when he and everyone else noticed that she still looked stunned. Snow White was hunched over, her hand protectively covering her abdomen. Everyone else had recovered from the freezing spell Zelena had placed on them quickly but the Queen had remained just like that, looking pale, and in shock."Snow, are you alright, did she hurt you?!" David demanded with concern.

Slowly, slowly, she rose to full height, but her gaze and hand stayed the same as she did. "No," she breathed quietly, giving her head a small shake. Quiet and pale, not okay...she should go, find a doctor, someone to help her downstairs. "No!" the Queen shouted suddenly, pulling away from David and making her jump. "No, I'm not alright! I am far from alright, David!" she yelled sounding uncharacteristically hysterical and pacing almost nervously on the other side of the room.

"Snow, just take a breath and calm down so we can figure this out!"

"Calm down!" she shouted rounding on her husband. "Calm down? David how are we supposed to calm down?! She wants our baby!" She felt another swell of guilt expand in her chest. She didn't know Snow White well, not nearly as well as she could have in the last year or so, since she'd been freed. But she knew that pacing and wringing her hands wasn't how she normally dealt with crises. The pregnancy, hormones might have been making it worse, but sheer terror was scrawled across her face because she understood the situation completely. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe they should all be panicking.

"She wants our baby, we'll find out why," David assured her, placing his hands on her shoulders and rubbing her arms. "She wants the baby after it's born, we only just learned you were pregnant, there is plenty of time to figure out her plan and defeat her." She was shaking. It wasn't until he touched her that she could see her trembling. Though David seemed to help. It nearly made her cry, watching the two of them be there like that, knowing that at that moment to Snow White and David she wasn't in the room, Regina wasn't in the room, it was just the two of them gazing into eyes they knew well, communicating peace and calm without words. Snow softened and calmed under his gaze and she had to wonder as she watched them, if she looked into her Rumple's eyes, what would she see there now…who would she see?

The world seemed to come back into focus quickly for Snow White. She could tell the minute it happened, the minute her back straightened with pride and she held her head up a little higher. She gave her husband a small nod then looked at the room around her, her eyes flashing over to her, then over to where Regina stood. She looked better than Snow did but not by much. It wasn't so much a look of shock that she had, as one of exhaustion and hopelessness, as if she was tired of constantly dealing with every little thing that continued to make demands on her. Her reaction was just as understandable as Snows. Henry, Emma, Cora, Greg and Tamara, Peter Pan, and now Zelena. Would it ever end?

"Regina," Snow said moving around David and looking at her stepmother with fiery determination, the kind needed to go to war. "What does she want with our baby?!" she demanded.

"Not a clue," Regina growled, suddenly defensive, staring back at her with anger blooming behind her eyes. This wasn't going to be a fun conversation, she could already tell. "The number of spells involving baby parts would surprise you."

Snow White's jaw dropped, her eyes widened, and she flattened her hand against her stomach as tears sprang into her eyes this time, one comment undoing everything that David had done. It was a startling admission, but to be the person that was pregnant-

"Not exactly helpful, Regina," David commented unamused as he reached for Snow.

"I'm just being honest. Zelena wants the baby, that doesn't exactly give us a flashing neon sign telling us what she's up to! You have something else to go off of?" she yelled, clearly growing more and more impatient.

"Yeah," David breathed. "Why does she want _our_ baby?! There's got to be dozens of babies in the realm, not the least of which was Philip and Aurora's. Why not use theirs before they became…" David's voice trailed off as he motioned out the window to the last place he'd seen the King and Queen. Monkeys. They were monkeys now. With only a wave of her hand, what could she do to them, to Rumple- "Why focus on us?!" David went on, shaking his head and taking the conversation forward, back to the problem at hand. "Why have them wait for us?! Why our baby?!"

"True love." The answer popped out of her mouth without her ever giving it permission to do so, without her even really giving pause to think about it. In fact, it wasn't until she looked up and realized that they were all staring silently at her sudden suggestion. A suggestion, no, a theory, a guess. She'd heard Rumpelstiltskin talk about using their child once before, why it had to be her. She didn't know if this was for a similar situation, but a theory was better than what Regina or anyone had offered so far.

"True love," she went on, "that was why Rumple needed Emma, your child, to break the curse. She was born of true love her magic was strong enough to transcend time and space, to be carried over into a world without magic. Maybe Zelena-"

"No! You don't get to speak!" Regina shouted suddenly, making great strides over to where she stood.

"Regina-"

"No!" she yelled at David. "_She_ is why this is all happening now, because she and The Imp's Son had to go play hero. Before she got that dagger the only thing keeping her at bay was that there were too many of us for her to handle at once! Thanks to her that's not a problem anymore!"

She took a step away from the Queen, who was staring at her with that same look she'd had all those times she'd lifted the little door on her solitary cell…like she was meat to be devoured. It turned her stomach, made her heart pound in her chest, and the worst thing of all was that deep down, she knew it was true. Zelena was strong, certainly, but not strong enough to take on everyone single person in this castle at once. Rumple was.

There were footsteps behind her, running, and she felt her hands ball into fists as she prepared to hit and scream. She couldn't deny what she'd done, but she'd run away and die in the woods before Regina brought guards in to take her away again!

"The witch was here," she glanced over to find Robin Hood standing at the entrance to the room, bow and arrow drawn, prepared. "And I heard shouting. Is everyone alright?"

"Peachy," Regina growled, never taking her eyes off of her as she advanced step by step. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't lock you back up in that tower for treason?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out. It was hard to think, hard to speak, with terror like that pulsing through her, with Regina staring at her frightened and angry, while she felt guilty, without Rumple or Neal or-

"Regina, stop!" Regina was suddenly shoved out of the way, unexpectedly by Snow White, who had crossed the room so fast she hadn't noticed her moving. "No one is getting locked up anywhere!"

"Why not?!" she shouted at her.

"Because I don't care whose fault it is!" Snow yelled back at her . "I don't care how or why it happened just that it is!"

"There has to be some way we can solve this. Some magic you know!" David added across the room.

"I don't even know what kind of game she's playing," Regina screamed back at him. "I can't counter anything when I don't know her plan!"

"So we figure it out! All of us! Together! Regina, David is right, this isn't the end, she's left us time. We've faced worse than her with far less at our disposal!"

"No, you haven't!" Regina argued. "You think you have but all you've really faced is me and though I hate to admit it my magic is nothing compared to Rumpelstiltskin! We stood a chance against Zelena but now it's not just her we have to worry about, it's him too. And don't give me some line that he's harmless and you can break his curse because it's not that simple!" Regina screamed rounding on her once again. "Nothing is simple anymore!"

She didn't give any lines. She didn't try to fix it because she could truly see what was fueling this anger. Fear was there, just as it was for everyone, but that wasn't all. Hurt. She'd seen that look in Rumple's eyes enough times to recognize it on Regina when she forgot not to show it. And she wasn't the only one to spot it as she turned and paced the room.

"That's not what Henry would say," Snow White muttered into the silence.

But no matter how delicately she'd said the words Regina had heard them and stopped in her tracks at the declaration. For a moment there was no sound in the entire room as everyone watched Regina take ragged breaths and collect herself.

"Henry's not here," she stated softly after a moment. "And there's no telling who he is now that he doesn't remember me. Who knows what he would say? If he even believes in happy endings anymore? I'm nothing more than an Evil Queen to him now, remember?"

"It doesn't matter," David insisted gently. "Who he and Emma are together now doesn't matter because you know the real Henry."

"He wouldn't you to give up on this Regina," Snow White chimed in. "Surrender to the Wicked Witch of the West? Leave his father and grandfather to the wolves? No! He'd want you to fight, to find a way for all of us to get our happy ending!"

"That's not fair!" Regina yelled, finally turning on Snow. But the anger behind her voice faded quickly. They hadn't meant to hurt her, just wear her down a bit so she'd concede. But it was clear that they had hurt her all the same. She honestly wasn't sure if she'd ever seen tears, unshed or otherwise, glistening in her eyes before. They'd pushed her too far.

"Life never is fair," Robin Hood stated, standing with his bow at ease by the door, "but if we can't change for our children, if we can't be willing to do our best to make life a little better for them than it was for us, what can we do?"

"I don't remember inviting you into this conversation and that principle doesn't apply!" Regina laughed. "Henry isn't here. I'm never going to see him again, I wouldn't be making anything better for him by destroying Zelena!"

"Neal and I freed Rumple for a reason," she muttered, looking at the faces around her, but mostly at Regina. She knew what they were doing, but if she knew anything about talking to people who had no hope it was that reminding them how hopeless a situation was wasn't a way to make them willing to help others. There had to be hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. She'd done a terrible thing, she and Neal, but because of what they'd done…there was a glimmer of hope even now.

"Neal and I brought Rumple back because he wanted to get back to Henry and Emma and we believed that Rumple could help us with that."

"Well then Neal wasted his life for nothing. Going back isn't possible for us, not anymore!" she stated, crossing her arms over her chest stubbornly. "Our realm is completely shut off from the rest of them now, there's no way to get to Henry's world or any other world for that matter. That's the price I paid to bring us back here."

She shook her head, refusing to believe that Neal had done what he'd done in vain. "Something you learn living with Rumpelstiltskin is that nothing is impossible," she insisted. And right now they needed to do the impossible. Steps on a path. Destroy the witch. Restore Rumple. Save Neal. Then figure out how to get back to Emma and Henry. All of them. Not just her and Neal. They could do this, she refused to believe that it wasn't possible! They just needed the right people and Regina…Regina was one of them. "Whether we succeed or fail, what have you got to lose?"

Regina looked as though she'd been slapped in the face and for once she found herself actually feeling sorry for the woman who had imprisoned her and threatened to imprison her again only minutes ago. "Nothing," Regina drawled after a moment. "I already lost it." She felt like she was just collecting guilt these days, storing it up so that it would all haunt her for the rest of her life. But maybe it would be worth it if she could make up for what she'd done, for what they'd done, if only they could fix it. If only she could get Regina to-

"Fine," Regina spat after a second, dropping her arms and rolling her shoulders, suddenly becoming as stiff and emotionless as she always was…always appeared. "First we need to secure the castle, make sure she's not hiding in plain sight again," she stated looking around the room at everyone. "I'm tired of turning around and finding her in this castle. I want more guards, as many as possible, to protect this place around the clock, and I want every monkey, winged or not, out of my forest! Then I'll get back to finding that witch while you go back to being your charming selves and making sure the guests are safe, comfortable, and completely oblivious of what's really going on here until we decide to make the official announcement of your pregnancy and can send them home safely."

"Not a bad plan," David nodded.

"No!" Snow shouted over him, making every eye turn to look at her again. What now? "No, we're, we're not going to just stop living because of this. That's what she wants, that's what every villain always wants, to know you live in fear because of them, that they've stolen your happiness!"

"Snow!" David plead.

"I don't believe this!" Regina baulked, understandably.

"No! We'll announce the pregnancy as planned!" she stressed. "I don't want to keep it a secret, to pretend like we've done something wrong! David this is good, we need to share it!"

"Snow," David shook his head, taking her hands in his own, his voice still pleading as he tried to reason with her. "Snow, Regina's right-"

"Thank you!" the Queen yelled from across the room, clearly tired of this argument.

David ignored her. "It wouldn't be forever," he told her. "We'll only put it off until we can't anymore, buy some time with this!"

"Put it off?!" Snow questioned as if it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard. "David we can't exactly put it off for long, eventually people will notice and in case it's escaped your attention we have royals from half the Kingdom already gathered here for an announcement!"

"But not all of them," he fought back. "Let's just bide our time, give Regina a chance to locate her and find her so the Kingdom doesn't worry, and wait for the others to show up, until we can't hide it anymore."

"And what do you suggest we do with those that are here."

"Keep them comfortable, just like Regina suggested. Snow, there's strength in numbers."

"And do we just tell them to close their eyes every time we're in the room together?" she fought. "They have eyes David what if they start to notice?"

"I can help you hide it," she stated from across the room. Lacey had already been eyeing her figure and her gown, she already knew it wouldn't be difficult, after all it wasn't as though she was six months pregnant only six weeks at the most! "Longer gowns, petty coats, thick material, fabric that will hold the right flare and the right stitches in the right places and we can hide it for a while," she assured her.

Snow White opened her mouth, as if to say something but in the end just shook her head as if what she'd just stated was the most insulting thing in the world. Then again, to a mother desperate to have another child…it was. "Mary Margaret…Snow," David corrected with a shake of his head. "Snow, please. Please do this for me, for us, for the sake of our child," he begged, "let's just take a little more time to see how this plays out. Please. For the baby," he whispered, reaching out to touch her abdomen.

Snow looked at him for a long time as though she'd just been betrayed. There were tears in her eyes as she considered the proposition and no one dared to move a muscle or speak a word. They were nearly there. Regina had agreed, David had agreed, they just needed Snow to give her permission, to go along with it. In all honesty she wasn't sure what withholding information about the baby would do how it would help them against Zelena. If the witch had threatened other Kingdoms, if they knew that she wanted Snows baby then that would only paint a target on their back. For now there was no harm in holding it back for a while.

"Until the end of the month," Snow White finally agreed sadly, angrily. "That will give the royals that aren't here enough time to join us and get comfortable, it'll give us a chance to find Zelena and figure out a plan. I don't think we'll be able to hide it much longer than that. I don't want to hide it any longer than that!" she concluded, walking around her husband and leaving the room with an uneasy plan agreed upon.


	38. Friends in Low Places

4…5 Months

It was sad how easily she fell into the old routine of living in the castle again. Living in the castle before she and Neal had left had been trying, this felt…this felt worse. Before she'd been numb. Unable to really feel anything because half of her hadn't just been missing but gone! Now she had her soul back again but the weight of the emotions that she felt because of it sometimes threatened to crush her whole.

She couldn't go home. That had been agreed upon the very first night that she returned but it hadn't been necessary. She knew she had to stay away. Their home, his castle, anything that had relied on his magic to keep it protected was no longer safe. And she supposed that she could find some place to rent a room from…but where could she stay that was safer than the castle at the moment? Rumple would need her safe, whether he knew it or not, and if he couldn't protect her himself then she had no choice be to stay with the royals…even if that meant staying without Neal.

She felt like the world turned upside-down in the week following her arrival. Regina took over for Snow White in a way that made her think she might have been a great Queen once if she hadn't channeled all her power into something so awful. She commanded guards and riders flawlessly, locking down the castle, making it as secure as possible before turning her attention to her sister. Of course Rumple's castle was the first place they suspected Zelena would be hiding out in, so naturally that was the first place that she sent them.

She watched them leave from the window in her room, watched as the horses pounded down the long road just as she once had until they disappeared into the thick forest, until she couldn't see them anymore and wished that she could be going with them; wished that she was anywhere but here.

No, she wasn't in the tower, she wasn't under arrest, or in trouble, but she felt as though she was. Her guilt was her cage, her memories her tormentor! She went to bed, fell into a shallow unrestful sleep, one haunted by nightmares that she woke up to night after night with no one to help sooth her back to sleep. When morning came she did what she could to avoid the others. She went to breakfast late, just before the staff put the food away, she sat through dinner with them as quietly as possible, keeping her head down and her eyes fixed on the food that held absolutely no flavor to her, and during the day she toiled. Kept herself as busy as possible.

She took another sewing machine from the room she'd gotten the first one from, surprised this time to find that it wasn't empty but bustling with half a dozen women, working on gowns and dresses. Still, none of them knew of the Queen's pregnancy, so she took it upon herself to measure Snow White out again, and become her own personal seamstress, adjusting bodices to allow a little give, the skirts to be a little fuller, and added emphasis and detail to sleeves to draw attention as far away from the small bump in her stomach. Lacey was content, she was…avoiding Regina, and she figured at the moment that was probably the best way to be. As far away from the Evil Queen as she could get, where she couldn't upset the delicate balance that had been created, and she suspected was being maintained by those around her.

Like Robin Hood.

He'd secured himself, his son, and his men permanently and officially inside the castle with them, trading the trees for the safer shelter it provided for Roland, and of course his merry men could be heard during the late hours of the night in the castle, drinking, singing bar songs, laughing with each other. But despite their actions at night, they were quite noble during the day, assisting the guards, watching after Roland, their "youngest merry man", and even offering kind words to her on the rare occasions she ventured out of her self-made prison and passed one in the hallway.

Robin Hood was good to talk to. The day after she'd gotten back, after she spent her first night in the castle, he ventured into her room simply to "check" on her when she didn't come down for dinner. She wanted to know, demanded to know everything that had happened in the castle since her departure and was saddened to hear that all in all, it had been fairly quiet.

Regina never found Zelena. David discovered they were gone, a couple of days after the party had ended but their small search turned up nothing. And, of course, Snow had discovered she was pregnant in that time, sent out the summons for royals across the land to join them for the announcement, much to Regina's displeasure…and that was it.

Quiet, peace, silence. She was right, Regina was right, Zelena was only striking now because of what she and Neal had done. Maybe if they'd just stayed, if they hadn't been so selfish, if she'd accepted his death, and encouraged Neal to move on…they would never have been happy. But what they'd done certainly hadn't left them happy either. What a mess!

As the first tears began to gather in her eyes and slide down her cheeks Robin Hood had sat forward, eagerly, and asked the question that she knew he'd been dying to ask, the real reason he'd come to "check" on her. He'd told her what had happened, now he wanted to know what had happened to her and to Neal.

She told him.

All of it.

From the night of the party, to their trek through the forests, to hiding out in strangers houses and villages, she told him of their arrival at the castle, told him about Lumiere, and the clearing, and the dagger…and Neal. His friend too. His lost merry man. He was comforting, placed his hand against hers as they talked, and finally sat there in silence with her, watching the fire as a fresh wave of tears fell when she realized what they were doing. Mourning. It was a terrible realization, a horrible thought that she wanted to fight off, and vowed to deny until she had proof, but it was too late. She'd always know, no matter how much time had passed, or where she was, or who she was with, somewhere in the back of her head, a part of her already counted and accepted Neal as lost forever, gone..dead.

It was a blow. An irreplaceable blow that left that guilty feeling in her stomach turn over and over until she thought she was going to be sick. Neal gone. They'd barely begun to discover what they were together, who they were together, and already she'd lost him just as Rumple had. It left an ache inside of her, one that Rumple couldn't fill or fix or even replace. Friend, big brother, son, how could anyone ever be to her what he was?! At the moment she felt like she had no one willing to try. She didn't want to interact with Regina. Snow and David had never gone out of their way to get to know her. And Robin…

Robin was comforting. He was here, holding her hand, staring at the fire, and pretending not to hear her cry out of respect, not coldness. But he wasn't Neal. He wasn't as comforting, or protective, or supportive as Neal had been. There was something missing to their relationship, a void. Their tie just wasn't as strong after months of knowing each other as it was after only days of knowing Neal. She'd freed Robin and saved him, but she just wasn't bound to him the same way she was her son. And unless she'd completely lost her powers of perception in the last few months, and she was willing to argue there were many who would happily have that debate with her, Robin knew it too.

Her solution, her plan to not think about it was to stop thinking all together. Day after day, night after night. Split a seam. Hem a skirt. Design a dress. Pin. Embroider. Needle. Thread. Hem. Fix. Cut. Trace. Draw. Split. Set. Sew. Toil.

Spin.

She stopped pushing her foot over the machines pedal at that thought, making the needle on the ancient machine stop right in the middle of the skirt she was working on. She let go of the fabric and dropped her head into her hands feeling exhausted, guilty, and absolutely broken. She didn't cry anymore, or maybe she just couldn't stop crying, she just didn't know anymore. Tears just seemed to leak out of her eyes at all hours, from the moment she woke screaming each night, to the moment she pressed her face into the pillow so she didn't have to wipe them away all night along.

She was doing what he always did, what used to drive her crazy because sometimes it seemed like he'd rather spin than talk to her or anyone, only now she could see why. Who was there that she could talk to now?! Who was ever going to understand? Not Robin. Neal was gone. Rumple was…

She pushed herself away from the table, letting the fabric rip and tear without her support as she wandered her room aimlessly, restless. How did he do it? How could he block every bad memory, all the guilt, all the bad decisions out just by spinning? He had hundreds of years worth of it, she had this one incident and she felt as though it was killing her! Spinning helped him forget, maybe that was the problem, she wasn't sure if she wanted to forget…if she deserved to forget.

The knock at the door made her jump and sniffle back the few tears she hadn't managed to catch the last time she wiped her eyes. The dresses. Snow was due to send more down to her that night. It was still early, but the sun was setting, she sat back at the machine, tried to hide the fact that her abrupt departure from the table had torn the dress she was supposed to be working on. Maybe she could fix that while she was at it.

"I'm here," she called at the next knock, or at least tried to. Her throat was raw from the days of near solitude she spent crying. So she stood again, forgetting the torn dress, wiped her eyes again, and trotted over to the door herself. "Here!" she stated opening it. "I'm here, I can take-"

It wasn't a delivery of dresses. It was bread. Bread in a basket, delivered by a girl in a red cape that she hadn't seen since the night of the party months ago.

Ruby looked her up and down for a second and she had to look away from her for a moment because she felt as though she was examining her, evaluating her state and she wasn't sure what she wanted the girl to see. Sadness. Failure. A woman barely hanging on by a thread, who had lied to her friends, and killed her son!

"Hey," Ruby finally whispered into the dark silent space between them.

"Hi," she breathed back. "I uh…" she hated the awkwardness between them, wanted nothing more for it to be gone, for her to be left alone to cry or leak or whatever the hell it was that she was doing nowadays. "I thought you were the person bringing me more dresses for Snow."

"No…but I did see the last two you did," she added quickly. "They were beautiful. I think it was the first time she got excited all week about…you know." She nodded. Yes, she knew. Snow White wasn't happy about keeping the pregnancy quiet, but she was glad that she'd done something that had cheered the woman up in her unhappiness. Maybe clothes were the only thing she could do right anymore. She never thought she'd see the day where she'd rather be Lacey, with her talents and ignorance and ability to outrun or drink away her pain, than herself.

"You, uh," Ruby glanced around and behind her, down the hallway, and finally back to her, offering a weak almost unsure smile. "Are you going to leave me standing out here all night or can I come in?" she finally asked, managing to morph her smile into a friendly and familiar one that she recognized, but made her heart hurt. Maybe that was why Rumple had always needed a mask, how else could he manage a smile, even a sinister one?

She honestly didn't know if she wanted Ruby to come in or not, but nevertheless she felt her body automatically move away and open the door for her to come in and close it after her. "You, uh, you weren't at dinner," Ruby stuttered coming in and taking off her red cloak. It must not have been a full moon. She hadn't even thought to think about that for months. "I thought you might be hungry and brought you some bread." She sat at the edge of her bed as Ruby fluttered nervously around the room, setting the basket down and grabbing the loaf of bread from it.

"I uh, I wasn't hungry," she managed to muttered as her stomach let out a betraying growl. Yes, she'd been hungry, but she honestly wasn't sure she could have handled another dinner with the Evil Queen and other royals laughing and smiling and pretending to simply enjoy good company while they kept her horrible mistake quiet. Starving had seemed the preferable of her options.

"Well it sounds like you are now," Ruby stated, tearing off a chuck of bread and offering it to her with an insistent look. Whether she was hungry or not Ruby wasn't going to not let her take it.

"Thank you," she mumbled, taking the bread and ripping a piece off, partly because she was hungry, but also because she needed an excuse to wipe her eyes again.

"So…" Ruby sat down in the chair by the corner and picked at her own hunk of bread. "Granny and I are moving back in," she admitted finally, with a small smile. "With everything that's happened, it's just…it feels right to be back you know."

She nodded. Everything that had happened. Did she mean everything she and Neal had done? Maybe. She didn't ask, Ruby didn't read her mind, or confirm or deny her thoughts. They just sat there watching her, as if waiting for her to say something but she couldn't think of a single word to offer her just as they had since she'd lost Rumple months ago and they'd all ended up back here. There was a time she wouldn't have had that problem, a time when she would have been happy to break the silence between them and talk but now, after everything that had happened, after what she and Neal had done, after Ruby had stopped by to make sure they'd still been there for the Charmings, even before that with Ruby focusing on Ashley and the baby…she felt like it had been months since she'd seen her friend, talked to her. And she really just didn't know where to go from here, if she was ready to move on and pick up where they'd left off.

And the awkward fumbling Ruby did, the way she shifted in her seat, the way her smile suddenly vanished and she glanced down at her bread and pinched and picked, played but never ate, told her Ruby knew it too.

"So I talked to Snow," she finally whispered on a sigh, "and to Robin Hood. He told me what happened with you and Neal, in the forest and at the Dark Ones castle and I thought that maybe you might want to talk, like we used to…you know...before."

Talk like they used to before.

Was there a time before all this? It was only months ago but it seemed like a dream, certainly too happy for the life she led now for it to be a reality! For a man to promise he wanted a future. For a woman to confess she wanted a different last name. For a lunch and a conversation at a diner that left her reeling! None of it seemed real anymore! Had she ever had friends? Had she ever had a library? Had she ever been that happy? Or was it all simply a delusion she'd dreamed up…maybe she was crazy. Maybe she belonged in that asylum…

"You know…" Ruby went on into the silence. "I wanted to come talk to you for a long time, especially after we got back, I'm sorry that it took me this long, but…" suddenly Ruby let out a loud irritated sigh as she threw her hands into the air with frustration. "Does the world ever stop spinning?! Can't it just be slow for once and give us a chance to have the conversations we need to have?!" she yelled into the air. "And then with us... There are a lot of excuses I suppose I could use. We were busy. I had Ashley and Alexandria. You had Ariel. And then when we got back here I looked up to come talk to you and…I'd been replaced! By Neal! I never saw that coming!" she said with a small laugh.

No.

She wasn't the one who was laughing. There was a small strange noise coming out of her own mouth. She'd laughed. Snorted, might have been a more appropriate word, but it was there, because she understood. Ruby was jealous on some level. She hadn't seen it before now. _"I've got her" _Neal had made that quiet vow to Archie and her but no one else, and she hadn't seen that in watching over her he'd also removed her from the lives of others. She'd run into the forest when they got back. Ruby had called after her. Neal had been the one to insist on going after her. He hadn't meant anything bad by it, it was just in his nature, stubborn and responsible as his father was and it was…it was funny. A happy flawed memory.

"He could be a little overwhelming sometimes," she smiled at her friend, but no sooner had she said the words and she felt that iron grip of guilt squeeze her chest. She'd done it again. "Can…he can be overwhelming sometimes," she corrected, her smile vanishing as she moved to wipe her leaky eyes again.

"Have you ever befriended someone who wasn't?" Ruby asked sarcastically, lifting the sudden tension she'd put back into the room. It was a simple line, a poor joke she supposed, but it worked, and she found herself smiling again at that. She did seem to attract overwhelming personalities…or was it simply that she was too underwhelming?

"Belle," Ruby said in the midst of it, her voice going straight and serious again as she looked her over. "I am sorry, that I didn't understand; that it took me so long to see…but I do now, I get it. He loved you.

"You told me that once, that he would die before he ever hurt you and I didn't believe it. I didn't think it was possible for anyone that evil to ever be that selfless, but…" She felt her body curl into a defensive ball at the words because it all seemed like so long ago, and they brought back so many terrible memories that she'd much rather keep them buried, but still she stayed silent, because somewhere deep down she had enough of herself left to know that she needed to hear it. "Granny told me what happened, what I missed, that day before the town line. She told me about Henry and Pan, Mr. Gold and what he said to you…and to Neal. I know that saying 'I'm sorry' right now wouldn't be enough, but for what it is worth I am.

"Rumpelstiltskin's ethics might be questionable, but where you're concerned…I think it's pretty clear how he felt…how he feels about you. He loves you. And I'm sorry I didn't believe that before."

This time there was no mistaking or denying it. Her eyes weren't leaking, those were tears. Tears so deep and meaningful she couldn't even begin to describe all that went into them. Sadness. Guilt. Regret. Happiness. "How he feels" Ruby had said, present tense. He was alive. It didn't undo what had been done but it was a big enough shock to her heart that she felt something stir that she hadn't felt for a while between her and Ruby. A bond she didn't even know had been broken, or at least frayed until now. It could be repaired, she knew it could, but not by silence, not by sitting in the corner and spinning or sewing until she forgot.

"It was terrible," she whispered, slurred really as her voice shot up what felt like two octaves and tears invaded her ability to speak clearly. She didn't bother to wipe those ones away. "It was the worst pain I've ever felt before in my life. And walking around with it all day long, week after week, all these months…it was just so…unbearable! I just needed someone to say that it was unbearable, to tell me that was normal and not try to make it look better or degrade it by saying I needed to move on. I just needed someone to understand why I needed to fix it, to try and fix it!

"Neal did. He wanted his son back above all, but he seemed to understand. And now…now the hole in my heart is gone…but I feel like I've lost...both of them…the two most important people...in my life…and I...I might have lost them both…and it's all my fault!"

No, there was no question about it now, she was crying. Hysterically. She felt herself dissolve into tears, her body crumpled, the bread dropped to the floor, and the bitter tears that she felt she'd been carrying around with her for the last three weeks, ever since she'd lost Bae in the woods suddenly streamed down her cheeks. It was so much worse than the failure she'd felt when she and Ariel had been tied up in the back of the shop, worse than when she'd gone to explore Storybrooke on her own, worse than getting caught by Regina the first time, maybe even worse than failing to rescue Anna. It was guilt she didn't think she could live with.

There was noise in the room. Noises that weren't her pitiful tears. The groan of someone moving out of a chair, the squeak of someone sitting on a mattress, the rustle of fabric as arms closed around her small balled form and pulled her closer. A hug. It was called a hug. She'd nearly forgotten what they felt like and reached out to grasp for it because she'd been desperate for one without ever really knowing it. Other than a one armed side-hug, more of a shoulder squeeze in the most necessary of times, like that night by the fire pit, Neal had never really hugged her. No one had hugged her since she'd met Robin Hood again, but even then this was different. It was like the hug she'd gotten out of comfort, genuine love, and concern from Rumple the night before he'd die, as they'd sat on their bed while he assured her that he would be safe, that Pan would harm his family over his dead body. They'd been safe. He hadn't. He wasn't now. Neither of them were while she was alive and free and whole. She could only conclude that she was the one to blame.

It all came out. Everything. She clung to Ruby as she hadn't for months, let the girl rock her back and forth and hush her as if she was a small child, hold her tighter and tighter. She let it all pour out, until her chest heaved and burned for oxygen and for the first time all week her eyes stopped watering. She didn't know just how much she needed to truly cry until it was over.

"It's not all your fault," Ruby insisted when she got quiet, still coddling her. "Just because you survive something horrific doesn't mean that you're responsible. We all make mistakes, we all do things that we shouldn't. Neal should have listened to you that night. David and Snow should have seen what you were going through. I should have seen how desperate you both were and offered to help. And Regina…sometimes I'm still not convinced there's any hope for her."

She laughed. Laughed! In the middle of her tragic breakdown, her pathetic breakdown really, Ruby had actually succeeded in making her laugh. She would never have thought that was possible.

"And her sister…Zelena, don't even get me started on the responsibility that she has in all of this…but the point is it's not all your fault. We all share the blame for what happened to Neal. But it's not our mistakes that matter in the end, it's what we learn from it. If we all come out a little wiser on the other end, then…maybe…painful as it is…they might be worth it."

Worth it. Worth it?! No, she couldn't ever imagine what had happened to Neal would ever be worth something, undone by some simple grain of knowledge. But…that didn't mean that it had to be completely in vain either. If it was she suspected she'd hate that even more. But what was it. What was she supposed to take away from this mess that would help her live with the consequences of what she'd done? How was she supposed to live…

Live with it. She couldn't live with it…at least not alone.

She couldn't solve anything alone, couldn't fix what had happened. That was why she'd come back here wasn't it?! Maybe that was the lesson to be learned. Guilty or not she wasn't helping anyone locking herself in this little room. Innocent or not avoiding the others wasn't getting anything done. She couldn't live with it alone. But she was living with it, right now, she was living with it. Ruby helped. Made her feel unburdened, or maybe just less burdened, but better than when she'd first knocked on her door.

She needed friends. Friends she hadn't had, friends she hadn't expected to have, and friends she'd never wanted to have. She needed them because it might be the only way to undo the past, or at the very least help to clean up the mess that she'd made.

"We all dug this hole together," Ruby whispered into the dead space then, as if able to read her mind again, sense her just as she used to before all this started. "It's going to take all of us to get out of it alive. It's just going to take some time and we all need to understand that."

Another lesson: She needed friends, at the very least to help clean up the mess that they'd made.


	39. Roses and Thorns

5…6 Months

More than a month passed with nothing. No news. No confirmation of the witch or Rumple. No sightings. No communication or interference. No problems. No threats. No attacks. No warnings. Nothing. Zelena was quiet. And everyone felt it.

Belle did her best to move on, to stop hiding to be part of the small group of people that actually knew what was happening, with Ruby's encouragement she tried to reinsert herself back into palace life but what she saw never exactly brought her hope, or even put her mind at peace for them.

Mary Margaret had given them until the end of the month to discover where Zelena was, but when the end of the month came they had nothing. And once again they found themselves back in the Queens room, the only place shut off from the rest of the castle because no one ever ventured over there for fear of running into Regina. David pleaded with her, encouraged her just to take a little more time. It had been barely ten days since the scouts had left to investigate Rumples castle. That wasn't enough time to get there much less time to find out if that was where Zelena was! Couldn't she just wait, just a little more time, enough for the guards to get back so they could rule the castle out?! In the end she gave in. Sat down on a chaise and placed a hand over the small but noticeable bulge below her stomach, looking downright depressed, but she still agreed.

The next two weeks had been hard on Snow. She was anxious and sick and nervous all the time. Her stomach grew. It seemed nearly every other day she was up in the Charmings Suite looking over her figure, taking measurements, letting seams out, watching her pace.

"Something's wrong, I know it!" Snow White stated staring at the mirror she'd left her in front of. "Emma never grew this fast! I didn't even look pregnant until I was nearly five months, it's been barely three! What if it's not a baby what if it's a tumor?!"

"Fairies are never wrong…And you don't look that pregnant," Ruby assured her from where she'd been perched on the bed. By now she knew the story well enough to understand that comment. She'd been right of course, when she first heard news of the fairies delivering the message that there was an announcement the Queen wished to make, but it wasn't the Blue Fairy that had sensed the pregnancy. Remarkably it was Tinkerbell who was able to tell her she was pregnant when she'd made an early morning complaint about not feeling well at the mines. Fortunately they'd been alone with the fairy when she'd made the announcement, but she'd still managed to wrestle the tale from Ruby. She'd been right all along, She wouldn't have been able to tell she was pregnant yet. But that was then, and today…it was becoming too obvious for her to deny.

"But I still look pregnant!" Snow argued staring at her figure in the mirror with concern etched on her face. "I didn't last time!"

"Granny says it's normal every baby is different."

"Right, I know, she told me, but a midwife and a doctor are two different things!"

"You've already talked to Doc-"

"Yes, and he's wonderful and delivered Emma but I want…I want a doctor. A real doctor-"

"And a sonogram, and a heart monitor, and vitamins, and-"

"Something to settle my stomach wouldn't be half bad either," Mary Margaret sighed as Ruby wrapped her arms around her from the back and perched her head on her shoulder as they both smiled at each other in the mirror.

"Doctor Whale hasn't been seen since we left Storybrooke. If he's here he doesn't want to be found. Just take a deep breath. This won't be forever. Soon enough you'll have to announce and you remember what happened last time!"

Snow White suddenly beamed. "Every doctor and mid-wife in the Kingdom came to offer their services!"

"It was a zoo."

"Do you remember the one that had only ever delivered farm animals?" she asked with a small giggle.

"When I said it was a zoo I meant it literally. And that smell…!" They both dissolved into hysterical laughter and tears as they spoke. All the while she watched the two women from where she sat on the chair pinning another dress she'd have to sew later, and she found herself smiling. Ruby was amazing. She was an expert at calm, at being kind and good, and bringing people back down to earth. But she could also be insistent, strong, and determined. She was level-headed and she balanced others well. She was glad she and Granny were back in the castle. She was glad that she and Ruby were close again. It helped her keep herself together.

"Just breathe Snow," Ruby smiled when they finally stopped giggling. "You got through this once before and you'll do it again in spectacular fashion just as always! Just enjoy not having everyone pounding on the castle door to pay homage to your bump while you still can," she joked.

By the time they left Snow White was smiling again. She was still tired, still needed to lie down, still nervous, still keeping a secret...but at least she wasn't pacing or staring at the mirror or looking pale anymore.

"You were good with her," she whispered as Ruby helped her carry dresses back down to her room.

Ruby shrugged. "Snow is more like a sister than a friend. I've seen her at her best and her worst and trust me we haven't gotten to the worst yet. She just needed a delicate touch, a rose among the thorns. Come on! I might not be able to design like you can but I can sew where you tell me too!"

A rose among the thorns. What a wonderful way to think of it. Not a thorn among roses. Not roses in thorns. Just one rose. Just one small glimmer, just one little thing to take joy in, to laugh at to keep the dark away, and right now, sitting in her room with Ruby, laughing about the first weeks in their relationship when Ruby had taught her about banks and straws and iced tea as they worked…it was a rose. The thorns were there. They threatened every second to overwhelm the rose, but with each laugh giggle and stitch, the rose held its own…at least for that night.

Tensions still ran high. The castle was full, nearly to the brim with people who had come to hear Snow's announcement only to be told that it was being delayed day after day. They knew about Zelena, but they didn't know the full extent of it, about the clearing or Rumple. Despite the nerves that Snow and even David had begun to show, they both were excellent in dealing with the sudden influx of unoccupied visitors, with keeping them at peace but also ignorant just as Regina had instructed that night she'd returned.

In the beginning it had been nice, easier. A simple "there have been some unexpected delays, the announcement will be put off until all who are able to attend are present. In the meantime please enjoy the leisure time and if there's anything we can get to make you more comfortable please let us know," had been suitable enough. Those from other kingdoms had found themselves unexpectedly busy after returning to the Enchanted Forest and given the opportunity for rest, they took it. But as the weeks wore on and on, more and more guests began piling into the castle. Those that had been there the longest began asking questions. "Who else could we possibly be waiting for?" "Why is this taking so long?" "Weren't King Philip and his wife Aurora here? Where have they gone?" "I've been away from home for a month, is this a plot to overthrow my Kingdom while I remain in an alcohol induced stupor, a prisoner in a lush cell?!"

"No, of course not!" David answered immediately at dinner one night. We don't intend to hold the announcement anymore, but the Queen, Snow White has fallen suddenly ill and we wish to make the announcement together when she's well again. Please, we just ask for your patience a little while longer as she regains her strength."

And there was a lot of strength she needed to regain. Snow White was ill but in a way that they all expected her to be. Just not in a way that she still expected to be. Morning sickness, as she was coming to find didn't just affect her in the mornings. At any given moment in the day Snow would find herself running off, her hand held over her mouth and her arm wrapped around her waist as she fought to maintain her "illness" but in the end it was the little things that popped up and caught them off guard that worried them the most.

Snow insisted on being a part of every meeting, even the ones she wasn't really needed for. News of an unnatural green tornado close to Rumples castle that had supposed struck months ago made her turn pale. Every day the soldiers didn't return the shadows under her eyes seemed to grow darker. They were little things. Status reports she could and should live without during her pregnancy she refused to go without. And they clearly took their toll. It wasn't always easy to get her to find the rose among thorns. As time ticked on, it seemed downright impossible.

"Snow, you need to relax," Ruby urged, during another fitting.

"How can I relax?" she yelled settling down into a chair. "Why does everyone keep telling me to relax?!"

"Because if you don't you really will go into premature labor and you'll lose the baby, remember what Granny said-"

"I know what Granny said but Red…" she looked up at them, wrapped her arms around bump in her stomach, and there in her eyes she saw something dark, something beyond the tears clouding her vision.

"What?" Ruby asked, squatting down in front of her and placing a hand over her own. "What, Snow?"

The Queen shook her head and she swore that in that brief moment she could see the pain and sorrow she felt she was holding in spill over. "How am I supposed to be excited about this?" she muttered, then inhaled deeply and looked away, control and hysteria fighting in her eyes. "How am I supposed to be happy when I might lose the baby the moment its born? How am I supposed to be happy when sometimes I wonder if true love is a blessing or a curse? I already lost one child because of what we have I don't know if I can endure…"

"Shh, Snow," Ruby hushed as she turned away, realizing that the moment had gotten far more intimate than she'd known it would. It was private, too private for her. She should leave. Go away. They could send for her again once they were finished. Or… "Snow that's not gonna happen again, David will make sure of that. He's just as determined as you are to stop the witch and make sure that this time you keep this baby."

"It's effecting him too! He can't sleep at night. I hear him tossing and turning at all hours and waking up so suddenly but he never tells me what it's about. He's trying and I know that but if he's tired and can't take care of himself-"

"Snow, you need to take care of yourself just as much as he does," Ruby insisted. "I'll talk to him."

"But what if-"

"He's never, _never, _let you down before," Ruby insisted quickly. "We need to trust he won't now." There was silence behind her as she fiddled with the thread and needle she had in her hands, though when she finally glanced up into the mirror to look at them she saw Snow struggle with a nod.

True love as a blessing or a curse. She'd never once stopped to think of it like that. Up until this moment she'd always considered herself lucky, blessed to be able to experience the bond that so few people in their world ever discovered. But when she stopped to think about it…blessing or curse? She'd known heartache before, losing her mother, failing to save Anna, even her engagement to Gaston but she'd never felt it so much or felt it so often as when he was in her life. They'd barely been together for a year and already she'd lost him to lies, darkness, nearly to a vengeful pirate, weakness, and sacrifice, Pan…death. She'd spent more time pining, worrying, and mourning him than she did loving him. Was true love really a blessing then, or was it a curse?

"She's…hormonal," Ruby explained when they finally finished and went back to work in her room. She could tell that Ruby was trying to make excuses for Snow, for what she'd said, in a way that would also ease her own sudden worries, but it was failing miserably. She was hormonal, it was true, but deep down they both knew that in that one brief moment Snow's observations hadn't just been logical, they'd been true. "You have someone who loves you Belle," Ruby went on. "Truly loves you no matter what. The two of you fight, you have disagreements, you do things to tick each other off, you are guilty of it just as much as he is but you both know at the end of the day that you love one another. That's a good thing. If being friends with Snow and David has taught me anything over the years it's that it doesn't matter in the end how many times you lose each other, just how many times you get to find each other all over again and that is your rose among thorns."


	40. When What is Hidden Must Be Seen Again

5 Months…6 Months, 1 Day

"Sorry," Snow muttered to her one evening, as she came out of her inner chamber holding a hand over her belly and another over her mouth. It was just the pair of them tonight. With the full moon Ruby had excused herself to run, saying simply "with any luck that witch will try and cross my path and I'll be able to give her a piece of my mind…or the wolf's. I may not have magic like she does but no one has teeth like I do!" But full moon or not the aptly named "bump" that Snow sported was causing trouble again. Once more it needed more attention in order to remove notice and so she found herself with Snow White in the room again, fabrics and dresses laid out on the bed, but the moment that Snow White had covered her mouth and muttered "Oh I'm sorry!" and run off slamming the chamber door in her wake, she'd picked up a pencil and paper.

They'd done what they could over the last month. They'd let their visitors believe that she was eating more because of stress, though some nights she barely touched her food, and told them that she wasn't feeling well, but in her opinion, going through gowns and dresses they'd finally reached the point where working with the old wouldn't help anymore. If they were going to continue to keep this hidden then it needed a different plan. And above all it would require delicacy, because she'd seen first-hand just how much keeping the child she both wanted and feared hurt her. There were a lot of issues to confront but some night nights she suspected it wasn't just the future or the Wicked Witch of the West that brought her down, it was something simpler that every mother wanted. She wanted to be excited that she was having a baby, to enjoy being pregnant like anyone would. And every now and then, when she fit her for dresses and talked about the perfect way to hide the fact that she was pregnant, she secretly thought that the denial and secret keeping had more to do with what she'd come to refer to as her "all-day-sickness" than the pregnancy did.

So when she slogged out of the chamber, looking weak and pale, and simply altogether miserable she shook her heard in the dying sunlight. "You've nothing to apologize for," she commented taking her hand and helping her over to a basin of water. As Snow scrubbed cool water over her face she fetched a small wash cloth and poured a goblet of water. "Here," she offered gently, letting her wash her mouth out as she wet the cool cloth and placed it over the back of her neck. She had no idea if it helped or not, but she could always remember her nurse placing one there when she got sick. "If you're not feeling well I can come back another time and we'll-"

"No," she insisted weakly. "No, it's fine." With that she pulled the cloth off her neck and stood again, corrected the way her shoulders slumped and rolled them back, straightening her spine in a proud learned position and gazed into the little vanity mirror ahead of her. "I'm fine now," she smiled confidently, her eyes suddenly bright. "What, uh, what were you saying again? Before…"

Hormones. Mood swings. All what she would expect from a pregnant woman, ill one second fine the next, she just hoped what she wasn't about to push too much at what she had to suggest. She gave a gentle push back over to the full length mirror Lacey preferred to use for this task and picked up her sketch pad and a bit of fabric she'd had lying on the bed. "No more bodices and skirts, no more corsets," she informed her, handing over the sketch of the dress she'd drawn just now so she could examine it. "Those won't work to hide it anymore and I'm not altogether sure it's safe. But if we gather the fabric here, just under the bust, and make sure it's tough material that will hold a flare out from there it'll never make contact with your stomach and no one will notice the bump-"

"It's a baby!" Snow suddenly burst out, turning to look at her with a wide smile that didn't match the tone of her voice. The proclamation nearly knocked her off her feet. She hadn't expected her suggestion to set off a mood swing. "It's a baby, and every time someone calls it a bump I just want to tell them it's a baby and…it's a boy," she rambled on, talking as if someone had just given her permission too after years of silence. "I mean…I think it's a boy, I don't know for sure, not like we did with Emma, but I think it's a boy! This one is different than Emma, bigger already, more active…I don't want to tell anyone or get David's hopes up but I'm sure, it's a boy, I can feel it! And he's mine and I love him already and I'm not going to let Zelena or anyone else take him away from me now, months, or even years from now!"

She stared back at her when the words finally stopped, when she'd let out all she had and looked back at her with desperate pleading eyes. Logically she didn't think that it worked like Snow White thought. Babies varied in weight, height, and activity whether they were boys or girls. But…the rose among the thorns. Even tense as she was part of Snow just seemed so happy right now! Amidst all the turmoil in her castle, in her world, she was smiling. Zelena wanted the child for reasons unknown, everyone was walking around either panicked or angry or both, those that did know the secret only ever tried to hide or ignore it and when they couldn't it became and unfeeling bump. But not right now. Not in this small, private brief period of time.

After what had happened last time, after the way she'd questioned her pregnancy and wondered if she wanted it, she'd finally seemed to arrive at a good determined place. Snow White wanted to be a mother again, to have an opportunity to experience something she'd been robbed of the first time around. She'd never gotten to have a happy pregnancy, never got to experience peace and contentment, joy at simply knowing that she had another life growing inside her. She couldn't have it this time around, but for now, for these few minutes, she could give her a rose among thorns, just as Ruby had.

She sighed and offered Snow a simple smile. "Then between you and me, this baby is a 'he'." Maybe it was the hormones, or the mood swings, or any number of emotions that pregnant women experienced but one second she'd been looking at Snow Whites smiling face and the next her arms were around her neck, threatening to overthrow her as the Queen hugged her happily, gratefully. A rose among thorns. Maybe she hadn't quite lost her touch.

But the thorns didn't remain at bay for long and soon enough they all discovered just how impossible it was going to be to find those roses. The men, the guards Regina had sent to Rumple's castle…they never came back. They kept close watch for them, day and night they had guards watching for their horses on the horizon around the time they should have returned. But they never showed. And every day that passed they didn't return their prospects seemed less and less hopeful. "What's keeping them?" became "Maybe tomorrow." Tomorrow became next week. And finally David's optimistic "we just need to keep faith that they've been delayed and it's nothing more," gave way to Snow realistic "we have to accept what is, Charming. They should have been back a week ago, no one has seen them or heard from them. They aren't coming back."

Which led to them being hidden away in the war room, a small place none of their guests had been showed to and they'd found was more helpful for meeting privately in than Regina's quarters. The wooden walls were thick, there was a small six sided table there, and in the end, there was no open window that Zelena could easily fly in and out of as she had before. It was safe. Though with everything happening she had to wonder if any of them were anymore.

"We've seen before that she doesn't respond well to guards," Regina added from her chair almost regretfully as they sat around staring at one another, looking defeated. "I should have gone myself! This time…I will!"

"No!" Snow White yelled. "After all this time we are barely keeping our guests calm, if you leave now it'll set off a panic!"

"Well, what choice do we have?" Regina questioned. "We can't just ignore Zelena and we can't fight her without knowing where she is. This is different than war, princess. Our enemy is strong and we have no idea where she and her hoards of flying monkeys and puppet on a dagger are hiding! That castle is the only lead we have? We need to investigate it and figure out for sure if they're hiding there or not so we can get a definitive answer and plan an attack-"

"But leaving now will make the guests nervous," Ruby insisted firmly.

"We don't exactly have time to waste here!" Regina argued. "No one will miss me. If I leave you can just tell them I stormed off!"

"And put a bounty on your head, leave you exposed to the rest of the Kingdom like that?! Uh-uh, not a chance!" Snow insisted.

"I can take care of myself."

"Not against Zelena," David stated making the table go silent. Regina glared but said nothing because they all knew he was right. No one had the ability to refute that statement, not even the Evil Queen herself. And with that they were out of ideas. Chances were good that the guards they'd sent were dead. She hoped it had been by Zelena's hands and that she hadn't used her Rumple to carry out such a heinous act but until they found her they couldn't be sure. After all, for all they knew the guards had been chased by trolls, or run into the witch two miles from here, or drowned in a flash flood. The fact they'd been sent to the Dark Castle and hadn't returned was suspect but proved nothing unless someone actually returned and said "Yes, I saw them with my own two eyes, they're there". So what now? How were they supposed to look for Zelena if they couldn't actually look for Zelena? They couldn't…not without getting rid of their houseguests.

"We could get everyone else to leave first," she muttered in a quiet voice from her place at the table. It was the first time she'd really suggested something at one of these little meetings and she half expected Regina to simply get up and storm away or glare at her again, but this time was different. Everyone was desperate for a solution, no matter what that solution was or who it came from. "The guests are waiting for an announcement, some of them have been here nearly a month, we can't leave without panicking them, so let's get them to leave first."

"We can make the announcement," Snow breathed, sitting forward looking suddenly eager. "Charming, we could tell them about the baby and in a week or so they'll all be on their way home! We'll get the castle back and we can come and go as we please! It won't have to be a secret anymore!"

"Now, wait Snow we should think about this-"

"No," Regina interrupted holding a hand up. She looked at the two of them, then cast an awkward glance at her before breaking into a small chuckle and rolling her eyes. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with the Rebel."

"You were the one that wanted to postpone the announcement," David reminded her sternly.

"And now I think we've waited long enough," Regina countered. "No, we don't know where the witch is yet but we can't find her if we are cooped up here being held hostage to a bunch of snobby royals."

"Don't forget that you used to be one of those snobby royals," Granny muttered from her seat.

"Irrelevant. The point is that now they're in the way. We spend more time trying to figure out how to keep the pregnancy secret and how to keep them calm than we do thinking about my dear sister. In another few weeks it'll be hard to continue to hide even with a clever dress!"

"Exactly!" Snow breathed with a smile, reaching for David's hand again. "Charming, now is the time! We have everyone here already, more than we anticipated, let the kingdom focus on something happy for a few weeks while we turn our attention to Zelena!"

"And the way the entire Kingdom seems to feel about you, you might just even get more people willing to bring you her broomstick if they knew she'd threatened that child," Regina added.

David sighed and shook his head, "We don't know that will happen…Regina can't you just…I don't know…poof yourself up into the mountains and check without anyone detecting you?"

"Don't you think if I could have I would have by now?!" she yelled angry at him, insulted. "I could, as you so wonderfully described, 'poof' myself up there but that would leave a magical signature that someone like Zelena might be able to trace! And as I'm sure your wife and daughter would tell you a hiding place is only good so long as you remain hidden! The second she detected me and learns that I know she's up there we run the risk that she'll run again and then we're right back to square one. Why else would I plan a trip to a place that will take me weeks to get to? Please…use a little common sense, Prince Charming."

"Charming this is right!" Snow whispered. "And it's what we need to do!"

Together they all looked around the town. Weeks ago it had been nearly all of them against Snow, now it was all of them against David. Strange, she would have thought that when the time finally came it would be Regina that needed convincing, not him! He looked…frightened. Not just scared but terrified. His hand was clamped around Snows so tight that his knuckles had turned white…but only for a second. It happened so quickly that she wasn't positive that she'd seen anything in the end, she wondered if she'd imagined it, misunderstood shock or surprise for fear, but that one glimpse that she'd gotten, no it hadn't seemed wrong to her.

Nevertheless in the end David sighed and offered a confident nod. "Then we'll announce it to the Kingdom at the end of the week…"

"And as soon as everyone leaves," Regina finished, "I can go find my sister."


	41. A Group of People or People in a Group

6 Months, 2…3…4 Days

It was remarkable. The next day Snow seemed less ill. There was color in her cheeks for the first time in weeks, she had an appetite, and when she finally showed her the gowns that she had designed that night in her room Snow told her that it was the first day she hadn't gotten sick, hadn't even had the urge once! Of course the next day Granny said it was normal. According to Ruby the woman had helped deliver babies for decades, she was used to helping women through these stages, and she was certain that her body had finally just settled into the pregnancy.

She knew nothing of children. Nothing about being pregnant or raising children or whether or not she even really wanted to have one of her own someday! She trusted Granny's knowledge but on this one thing she felt as though she was wrong. The pressure was gone, Snow White didn't have to worry about being pregnant and keeping it hidden anymore all she needed to do was be pregnant. Granny could believe what she wanted to, but in her opinion that was the real reason her stomach finally settled.

The next morning they announced to all of their guests that everyone they were waiting for had finally arrived, that the Queens illness had passed, and in three nights they would make the announcement at a ball! She looked around the room that morning as smiles broke out and women happily clapped their hands together at the news of putting on long gowns again. She only shook her head and stuck to the shadows with Ruby and Granny.

"If they only knew…" she whispered.

"They will someday," Ruby commented. "Zelena is quiet now but I doubt she'll stay that way."

"Not if she's from the same family as Regina," Granny chimed in. "She won't be happy until the entire Kingdom knows."

Maybe. That might be the case, she knew that was what they were secretly hoping would happen. But Zelena was more careful than Regina, more patient and conniving. They were sisters…but they were also different in their plotting. She honestly wasn't sure if the group before them would ever find out exactly what was going on. Ever.

David left almost immediately after the ball was announced. Snow White was beaming, perfectly happy again and she wondered if she even noticed. "David doesn't look happy," she commented to the women behind her.

"Just nerves I'm sure," Granny stated confidently behind her. "Either this will go over well or it'll all blow up in their faces. He'll be fine after the announcement is made."

"And before the announcement?"

"Before the announcement he'll handle it just like every father has since the dawn of time…poorly." The old woman's words drew a small snort of laughter from her, but quickly made her watch David's form as he left the room. Follow? Don't follow? She took a glance at Ruby who only shook her head.

"Let him be for a while," she insisted. "He's dealing with a lot. We have no idea how Zelena will react to the announcement being made or what she'll do or if it'll make things better or worse. Everything is up in the air right now. He deserves some time alone" Though it didn't feel right, she listened, because there was a time that all she'd ever wanted in the world was for David to just let her and Neal "be" for a while as well.

Still, he didn't look any better the next morning at breakfast. He didn't look any worse, she supposed, than he had since she'd been back, but he certainly didn't look as though he was coming around to the idea of the announcement tomorrow night. He disappeared the moment breakfast was over and she went back up to her room to keep working on the dress that Snow wanted to wear. It wasn't much, it wasn't going off and finding Rumple or rescuing him but the way she saw it, the second this announcement was made the sooner they could empty the castle out gain and get back to work on finding her Rumple and Zelena, confirming if they were at the castle or not, and figuring out a way to stop them. After tomorrow night that would be the focus. She had to believe that. She had to believe-

A sharp knock at the door made her jump out of her seat in the candlelight. The sun had gone down not long ago, she'd requested to have food brought to her room so she could keep working, she hadn't been outside this room since breakfast, let alone seen or spoken to anyone besides a few staff to make appointments for someone to be here. Her stomach turned before she even got to the door, it was sudden visits like this in her opinion that never led to happy news, and as she opened the door and looked Ruby over before her, she knew something very wrong had happened.

"Snow needs us," she whispered in hushed tones, looking around the small hallway as if she was afraid someone would sneak up and overhear her. "Something's wrong," she insisted in a grave voice. She didn't wait any longer, she grabbed a shawl that she had hanging nearby and followed the woman out of the room, noting that Robin Hood also followed quickly behind her. She led her into the small room that they'd used only days ago to discuss making the announcement and carefully closed the door behind them.

Snow stood by the fire, wringing her hands nervously as Granny spoke with her as if time had turned back to days ago. Regina on the other hand sat at the table looking positively bored and almost relieved to see the three of them come into the room. "Finally," she growled, "everyone you requested is here now so you can stop being so secretive and tell us what this is all about!"

Snow glanced at Regina, then looked at the three of them and, probably sensing the friendlier reception, made her way over to them quickly. "Charming has gone missing," she blurt out without a second though.

She felt her jaw drop in horror. Charming was missing? That most certainly wasn't good! And considering all that was happening…he could be anywhere.

"Are you certain he's missing?" Robin Hood asked behind her. "It's an expansive castle are you sure he's not just visiting or…stepped outside to get some air?"

"The castles not as big as you might think and I've asked everyone I could think of no one has seen him since breakfast!"

"Leave it to a man who lives in a tree to suggest something as bane as that," Regina muttered unimpressed with the man.

"I don't live in trees we live under them in tents, we do have a certain sense of decency," Robin Hood argued.

"Decency requires soap," Regina snapped.

"Enough! Both of you!" Snow yelled stepping between the two of them. "David is missing and you're bickering like children! We need to find him, now! Before the witch does!"

"My apologies, your majesty," Robin offered politely, "it just seems premature to speculate on something we can't confirm. For all we know he's gone out for an evening stroll."

"He's been missing since breakfast, it's after dark, I think now is the perfect time to speculate!" Snow cried hysterically. Hormones. Again. And she wasn't the only one to see it. Granny stepped up beside her almost immediately and placed a calming hand on her shoulder.

"Relax and sit down before you go into labor," Regina snapped, rising from where she stood. "We have a wolf, a tracker, and a sorceress among us I think we can manage to find one boring Prince without much difficulty," Regina assured Snow White before sneering at her and looking up and down almost suspiciously. "Though what you're planning on doing I'll never know. Don't you have something to sew?"

"An extra pair of eyes never hurt Regina," Robin Hood answered for her as she felt her hands ball into fists. Regina only looked her over further, a look of hate and irritation growing over her face.

"Fine," she spat, "but someone keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't run off and lead the witch right to us." She opened her mouth to say something. Ruby and Robin Hood did as well, she could see it! But she wanted so much to be the one to step forward and yell at the Queen to make her understand what had happened that she hadn't meant to help the witch, hadn't meant to make anything worse for them.

"Red!" Granny snapped making every one of them turn to look at the old woman helping Snow into her seat. "He was at breakfast. You know where to start."

Where to start. Easy enough. With a nod Ruby, who she was certain would never be Red to her, spun around and led them out of the room, down the hall, and into the private dining room that they'd all been sharing since the guests had overwhelmed the dining each morning. It had been cleaned, the dishes cleared away, the table wiped down, but Ruby walked right over to the place that he normally sat and put her hands on the back of the chair.

"He was here," she stated.

"We already know that we need to know where he went after he was here," Regina snapped.

"I'm working on it," Ruby stated patiently, glaring at the Evil Queen under her eyelashes. Suddenly she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply through her nose. When she was through her eyes snapped open and she walked out the door. "Through here," she muttered. She took them through what she could only describe as a morning routine. Back into their bed room, through the closet, the wash basin. He'd gone into the study but hadn't sat behind the desk instead he'd stood by the window and when he'd left he'd gone down to the barn. There was a horse missing. David's horse.

"Alright so he took his horse, I don't need a dog to tell me that," Regina mocked again. "Where did he go?" Ruby continued to glare at her as she went into a stall and began saddling her own horse.

"I can't tell you where he went I can only follow the trail and if David took a horse and hasn't returned yet, then I am too. Shame it's not a full moon."

"That's all I'm trying to say," Robin interjected, "for all we know he's gone off to visit a friend and simply hasn't returned, yet."

Regina turned to glare at him. "Are you sure about that?" she asked stepping forward with her hands on her hips. "Or is that just a clever guess. If I didn't know any better I'd say you are acting awfully nervous for a thief-"

"Level-headed for a man."

"Pig-headed-"

"Stop fighting!" Ruby called getting on her horse. "Let's just go!" The Queen opened her mouth to respond to her but Ruby only snapped "Now!" before she could say anything. If she was thinking clearly she would have laughed at how easily Ruby took over and stopped their childish arguing. But instead she followed Robin and Regina, tacked a horse as Ruby had, and the small group of them vanished into the night.

She felt a shiver as she rode with them. Was this history repeating itself? Was this what it had been like when they discovered they'd gone? Had the three of them talked about where they'd gone, the possibility that they'd just gone out somewhere and would return soon or had they automatically known where they were going and used Ruby and Robin Hood to track them as they were tracking David now? It hurt her too much to think about, to consider what the conversation might have looked like or who would have said what. But with very little consideration, she was fairly certain she knew exactly which side Regina would have been on.

Before they'd gone far, barely an hour on horseback in the black night, they pounded through a small stream and stopped abruptly. "I lost him!" Ruby stated looking around her wildly. "I lost him!"

"What?!" Regina questioned angrily.

"I…I can't smell him anymore," she answered. "I…he…running water," suddenly Ruby slumped forward and swung down from her horse looking at the stream they'd just crossed over. "Running water, he went through running water."

"He was on horseback, smell the air not the ground!" Regina ordered.

"I am!" Ruby yelled back. "But it's all gone, like the air has been cleaned or-"

"Or it rained?" Robin Hood muttered next to her, swinging down off his horse and striding up to a distant tree. She watched as he reached down and pulled a clump of dirt from the earth, near the roots. No. Not dirt. Mud. "The trees are still taking it in," he dismissed brushing it off his gloves. "And these marks here on the ground…" he pointed at the dirt beneath their feet and finally Regina got off her horse and held a ball of fire in her hand big enough to illuminate the area they were supposed to be looking at in the middle of the night. Grooves. Lines in the dirt swirling like snakes, marked the surface. "When it rains the river swells, afterwards the water rushes back to the stream and makes those marks. The rain cleaned David's scent away."

"Fine," Regina spat. "Then it's my turn. I need a hoof beat, a print, any place where he would have touched the ground and I can use a simple tracking spell to find him."

"This late at night the rain would have washed all that away-"

"Find me something or we have to tell her royal majesty that we lost her Prince Charming on the eve of the birth announcement!" Regina threatened.


	42. Stupid Mistakes and Loyal Secrets

6 Months, 4 Days

No one was to go alone. That was clear. It simply wasn't safe when Zelena could be lurking anywhere. It was best for everyone if they split up and search the area in pairs, no matter how fruitless Robin Hood swore it would be. Regina only put up a fight every step of the way. "I don't need a babysitter," she snapped at Ruby's evaluation of the situation.

"Well one of us might," she responded quickly.

"I'm not working with either of them," she responded glaring at her and Robin Hood with her arms crossed. She was so close to screaming at her, to telling her to stop acting like a child and behave appropriately when Robin Hood blurt out.

"Well, I'm not particularly keen on the notion of working with you either," making the childish quality of their conversation that much more prominent. In a perfect world she would have gone with Ruby, but she could see nothing would get done if Robin Hood and Regina were paired together and frankly she didn't particularly want to work with Regina any more than Robin Hood did so she stepped in. She and Robin would search a designated area and Ruby and Regina would search another.

"Fine, if you find something yell," and with that Ruby disappeared with Regina into the woods opposite them by the light of a gleaming ball of fire. Robin held the torch that Ruby had forced Regina to light for them high and motioned into their section.

"Shall we?" he questioned sounding almost bored of the situation. She nodded and started into the dark only to turn back and grab the lit torch from him. They had one light and one weapon, she'd spent a lot of time in the woods with Neal but between the two of them she suspected that if someone like the witch came after them in the night, they'd stand a better chance if he was the one firing the bow. He seemed to understand and instantly removed his bow and an arrow from his quiver, setting it into place and holding it "ready" as Neal had explained to her, they walked on.

Her eyes swept the damp ground below their feet looking for anything like what Regina had said she needed. A hoof print. A boot print. Something that would give them the direction that David had gone in so they could enchant the path and follow. "Oh!" she gasped as a tree root caught her shoe heel and she nearly fell. Fortunately she felt one of Robin's hand clamp painfully around her elbow, allowing her just enough to gain her balance again.

"Are you alright?!" Robin asked, helping her right herself again. She was wearing the boots Aurora had given her when they'd first arrived, it wasn't bad considering where she was, but in the dark, with nothing but a flame to see by, apparently it still wasn't enough to keep her upright.

"Fine," she breathed straightening her skirts. "I can walk on a beach in six-inch heels but apparently not in the pitch black forest. What I wouldn't do for a shorter skirt and wedged shoes right now," she blabbed before looking up at Robin and diagnosing his confused look as typical for someone who hadn't experienced the first curse. "Never mind," she shook her head, placing her eyes and the torch back to the ground. Prints. The sooner she found prints, the sooner they'd be on their way.

"This is a waste of time," Robin sighed behind her a few seconds later. "The storm would have washed everything away…though this is the kind of thing Neal would have liked."

She shook her head, trying to keep the tears at bay with his casual, irritated words. "It's the kind of thing he was good at, but I don't know that he ever really liked it much," she corrected. If Neal were here he'd much rather be at home, doing something other than trying to find David or putting them at the mercy of the witch. But then again, that was the kind of thinking that got them into trouble like this in the first place.

"But it doesn't matter whether any of us like it or not," she shook her head. "We have to work together now-"

"Try telling that to her majesty," Robin murmured under his breath so that she could practically hear him roll his eyes at her. Right now, she understood his frustration.

"She's scared and angry, she's hiding it with sarcasm," she explained still watching the ground. Rain or not the trees were thick here he had to have left something behind.

"Well she could learn to handle those particular emotions better if you ask me," Robin Hood went on.

"She could, but that's asking a lot of her right now," she said bending down to investigate nothing but a couple of misleading sticks laying on the ground. "My being around isn't helping that at the moment. She's never been particularly fond or kind to me but after what Neal and I did I feel like she's waiting for the opportune moment to kill me." Well, maybe not kill her, not exactly but she got the feeling that if she had it her way she really would have been placed back in her old tower without a second thought.

"If it makes you feel any better I doubt I'm helping the situation. I don't think she's very fond of me at the moment either." Yes, that was a question she hadn't explored. The two fought like cats and dogs but why?! It hadn't been this bad before she and Neal had left had it? Or had she simply not been in the same room with Regina and Robin enough to know? Why didn't they get along?

"What did you do to her exactly?"

"Wounded her pride, I expect," he bit each word off carefully, with irritation and frustration for Regina she knew well enough. "The day you all arrived I saved her and Snow White from a flying monkey, deprived her of the opportunity to kill the thing herself…or maybe deprived her of being killed by the beast. Either way I don't get the idea that she liked being rescued very much."

The day they arrived. When she'd seen Robin Hood walking with Regina and Snow White walking together. That was what had happened?! They'd been attacked! Robin had saved them. Well that certainly would explain why Regina disliked him, but that didn't explain why Robin with still choosing to stay around and deal with it.

"Why do you stay if you don't like her?"

"It's for Roland," he answered quickly. "As I explained to David this morning, it's far safer for him in the castle than it is in the forest at the moment. And surprisingly enough Regina is excellent with him. It's startling when you seem them together, like she's a completely different woman. Me she doesn't care an inkling for and I suspect she'd be perfectly fine if I died here and now but she tolerates me because of Roland."

That wasn't nearly as shocking as he might think it was. He didn't know Henry. He'd never seen her around her own son; he didn't know that when it came to children she had a soft spot and a natural inclination to mother. She didn't trust Regina hardly at all, but if it came to Henry, to Neal's son, Rumple's grandson, the boy that had once asked if she was her grandmother…she trusted Regina with Henry. Any child she supposed. And she supposed given the situation Regina was less of a risk to children than Zelena, who'd already a threatened a child that wasn't even born yet. It was no wonder David was so nervous these last few days. It was no wonder he'd…talked to Robin Hood this morning.

She stopped in the middle of the forest and went over Robin's claim in her head again once more before realizing that she'd heard it correctly, heard something important that they all should have known by now.

"You know where he is, don't you?" she realized staring at him and searching his eyes for recognition.

"I beg your pardon?" he questioned.

"David, you know where he is," she amended. "You just told me you spoke with him this morning. That's why this is a waste of time, why you're not worried! You're covering for him!" He hid it well, just like a thief should, just as carefully as he had hid himself during their first interactions in the Dark Castle. But he was out of practice, he didn't hide it well enough and she could see the small waver he gave as she stared him down. "You know where David went don't you?" she repeated confidently.

Robin was stone faced for a moment, but then, after a staring match she was determined not to lose, she let out a sigh and his shoulders gave an involuntary slump. "I have…a general idea of what he is, yes."

"Where?!" she demanded. "What is he doing? Why would he just leave Snow White like that?"

"My guess is he didn't know exactly how long he'd be gone and wanted to spare her feelings. In case you haven't noticed, she's not exactly reliable or level-headed these days."

"She's pregnant, she's not supposed to be," she defended. "And David being stable and level-headed is what she needs him for, why would he leave?"

"All due respect," Robin insisted, 'but when we spoke I believe it was in confidence. It was and is a delicate issue and those secrets aren't mine to give. I won't betray the King's trust."

Trust. Trust was good but David going off on his own when Snow was back home in a panic…what good was trust in this case? David was on his own, no matter how good those intentions were, that held little assurance. What about Zelena? What about being alone? What about David feeling the need to go off the night before a ball to announce Snow's pregnancy?! But…she understood the value of trust, of paying back someone in kindness they didn't give or hadn't given before. David hadn't have left if he didn't feel as though this was important but that didn't guarantee safety, it didn't guarantee that Snow White would stop panicking.

"You don't need to betray his trust, we just need to know he's safe, that the witch doesn't have him-"

"I expect he's fine. The journey is a fairly easy one, chances are he simply didn't expect it to take as long as it did. And as for the witch I haven't seen a single monkey in these forests since Regina ordered them all chased out. He decided to make the trip last minute so unless she has the ability to see the future I doubt anyone could have planned for him to be gone."

Planned for David to be gone. That was the difference she supposed. She and Neal had played into the witches hands, they'd done what she'd wanted them to do, but David…if this was truly on his own then maybe it wasn't such a terrible thing as she feared. But that didn't mean that there wasn't something to be done about it.

"If David wanted to go off on his own then that was his decision, but we do need to tell the others." Robin Hood, brave and proud as she knew he was, was clearly unimpressed with an answer like that. But she couldn't let him not tell them, not assure them that David was alright. Once upon a time she and Neal had kept secrets and thought they'd be fine. No one had that luxury anymore. Either they were a group working together or they were a group of individuals working separately. No matter how they felt, she was done with working on her own. "I'm sorry," she apologized, "but we can't keep this to ourselves anymore. We can't just assume everything is alright or the witch isn't watching us anymore. I would know."


	43. Surprise Guests

6 Months, 5 Days

Regina wasn't happy, to say the least. Once they found Ruby and Regina, informed them they'd found nothing, and Robin had confessed why they'd found nothing, the former Queen got so angry that a vein began pulsing in her forehead. "You mean to tell me you dragged us all the way out here in the middle of the night for absolutely no reason at all?! I should skin you alive for putting our lives at risk!"

"It's not for no reason," she quickly interjected, stepping between Regina and Robin as he had done for her back in the castle. "We still don't know that David is safe-"

"Who's to say he's not?!" Regina laughed, looking her over like she couldn't believe she was actually talking to her. She could understand being put off, but she had to understand that being put off wasn't going to help the situation, it wasn't going to make anything better!

"We don't know if he is or not-"

"And he chose this fate himself!" Regina yelled at her. "I'm not going to wander around Sherwood Forest in the dark because Snow's prince doesn't have the sense not to go sneaking off by himself! I didn't care when you did it and I don't care if he does it! There is plenty to do right now, too much to do to spend our night wondering if 'David is safe or not'!" And with that she moved around her and back to where they'd tied the horses up. She didn't wait for them, she mounted quickly, and they listened to the splash of water as she crossed over the stream and the sound of hooves fading into the distance as she galloped away.

"Well, all things considered, I thought she took it quite well," Robin commented between her and Ruby. Anyone else and she wouldn't exactly consider that "quite well", but it was Regina and seeing as how she hadn't skinned him alive or taken his heart, then yes, she supposed they could say it went "quite well".

"I am sorry," Robin apologized next to her, looking from her to Ruby. "I didn't want to betray a friend and I still won't share what we spoke of, though I do apologize if you feel your time was wasted or your life was in jeopardy."

"It's fine," Ruby whispered shaking her head. "We're all fine but we still don't know about David and I don't know how to find him. I can't smell him anymore, Regina's gone…"

"For what it's worth I never felt David was in any danger. His destination might have been farther than he realized, but it was too last minute for the witch to have had any hand in it or to be prepared for it. The Forest itself might present him with trials of its own, but I never doubted he could handle them."

Ruby looked him over, then glanced at her, silently questioning how she felt about what he'd just said. Logically she hated it, there was very little reassurance in what he'd said and a lot of room for something, anything really, to go wrong. But deep down, she trusted Robin. As much time as Neal had spent with him, as much time as she'd spent with him, she trusted him more than she trusted half the people living in the castle. She might not have thought it was smart, but he had good judgment. And right now she saw nothing they could do but trust that judgment.

"I believe him," she muttered to her friend. "And there's not much that we can do even if we don't, not unless you'll tell us where to go…" she prompted one last time.

"If I thought his life was at risk in any way I'd tell you," he assured her confidently. "And should anything happen to him I will assume full responsibility."

"That'll be of little consolation to Snow if something happens to him," Ruby commented.

"Trust me, I know," Robin promised gravely. He did. He knew, he understood, and somehow the fact that he was aware gave her more confidence. That woman she'd seen, his wife, Rolands mother…there was a reason she wasn't around anymore. Why hadn't she thought of that before now?

"Let's uh, let's go back," she suggested. No Regina, no scent, no clues from Robin, there was no reason to stay out in the dark like sitting ducks, even if the witch wasn't involved. Besides, Regina would no doubt be seething when she reached the castle and if she got to Snow and told her the tale instead of Robin…she shuddered to think of how Snow would respond to that. "If we hurry maybe we can catch up with Regina," she pointed out optimistically.

In the end they caught up with Regina, but she gave them a stern warning to "stay the hell away" from her and rode on apart from them. What was, perhaps, the most surprising thing of the night was the way Snow White took the news. They all expected that she'd be upset but also relieved at Robins confession, what they didn't expect was the sudden hug that he got pulled into as she smiled ear to ear.

"Charming is okay!" she proclaimed. "Thank you so much for telling me he's alright!" As she left their council room everyone stared at one another with jaws dropped at her behavior, not quite sure how to respond.

"Don't question it," Granny insisted watching them. "Just leave before she comes to her senses."

So they did. Tomorrow was supposed to be an important day, but as she finally lay down upon the bed in her room she realized that while they'd been out, tomorrow had become today. With any luck David would be back. There would be an announcement made. They could empty the castle. And they could put their full attention toward Zelena and Rumple. But first…she had a dress to finish!

She snapped up at the thought that entered her head and glanced over at her sewing machine where Snow's dress sat unfinished. As long as she was going to spend the night worried about David, she may as well make herself busy.

She worked through the night, until traces of yellow and orange began to paint the sky. She wasn't sure how she did it, but somehow she managed to finish the dress before morning came and still claimed a few hours of sleep before a woman knocked on her door to inform her Snow was inquiring about the dress. It was late afternoon. Snow was asking about the dress she could only imagine that meant that the announcement was going to happen. She couldn't be sure exactly how much time she had before the ball so for the time being she wore her purple dress, a favorite since it kept her from looking too much like royalty to be identified by anyone staying with them in the castle. It was a ball, she couldn't wear it forever, tonight she'd have to face those that she once considered her friends as one of them again. She'd have to dress appropriately, in the dress that Snow and Ruby had given her before she and Neal had left. But for now, she didn't want to remember the last time she'd worn it, or what she'd done after taking it off. No, she didn't want to wear it, or think about it until it was time. So instead she pulled it out and set it on her bed, she pulled her hair back, grabbed the finished dress, and went to meet Snow White.

She was on the balcony, smiling down at her kingdom, stroking a small bird resting in her hand. When she saw her the smile she wore only grew and Belle had the sudden thought that it was good that they were making the announcement today because it was becoming increasingly obvious that the woman was pregnant. It wasn't just in the size of her belly. Looking at, smiling out there on the balcony, in the sun with a small bird in her hand she finally understood what it meant when people said pregnant women "glowed". She wanted as Snow gently gave the bird a gentle tap on its head, muttered what sounded like "thank you" then held it out over the rail and allowed it to fly away! "He's on his way," she told her. "He sent me a message so I wouldn't worry. He'll be home in time for the announcement!"

She smiled back at her, an uneasy tightening that she'd had in her stomach all night suddenly loosened. Confident as he'd been, she knew that Robin Hood would be happy to hear it. "Then," she stated reaching forward for the Queen's arm, "we better get you dressed!"

The dress was nearly perfect. A couple on the spot alterations and Snow was smiling at herself in her mirror, pulling her long hair up off of her neck to get a better idea what it would all look like when she was completely ready and it was tied up.

"No more hiding!" she sighed suddenly. "No more pretending this isn't real. No more sickness or fear! This is happening! Really happening! It's over!" The Queen was happy, clearly and for good reason but that statement suddenly struck fear into her own heart. No, it wasn't over!

She opened her mouth to insist, to remind her that it wouldn't be over until they had Zelena, until Rumple was back at her side and she had a definite answer concerning what would or had happened to Neal-

But before she could remind the Queen the doors to her chamber opened and a young servant woman entered. "Your majesty," she breathed, struggling to catch her breath, looking as though she'd run there! "You'd better come and see this right away!" She and Snow exchanged glances of shock and confusion, expecting the worst Snow didn't bother changing. Merely dropped her hair and the pair of them followed the woman out and down to the throne room which was already filled with people, like Snow in various stages of dress in preparation for the ball tonight. Some were dressed in casual clothes while women wore floor length gowns and had their hair tied up in perfection. Why were they here? How did they know to come here?

"Your majesty I apologize. We only meant to summon you, but word travels remarkably fast in this place, the walls seem to have ears!" Robin Hood plead, rushing up to them as Snow looked anxiously around the room trying to find exactly what she was supposed to be seeing though the crowd. They were lucky the entire castle hadn't turned up otherwise they might not have been able to find one another.

"What's happening?" Snow asked as Regina wandered over to them.

"It would seem your prince returned home with a princess," Regina stated calmly stepping forward. "The guards reported it to me the second they returned to the stables. Obviously one horse between the two of them slowed him down significantly."

Obviously. She and Neal had learned that the hard way. That explained why he'd been gone for the night and nearly all day perfectly, but what it didn't explain was why David had left yesterday and it certainly didn't explain why he'd return with-

"Charming!" she heard Snow breathe happily, causing her and Regina to turn and get a better look. It was David, the prince that she'd come to know but the woman he was escorting into the room, holding his hand with what she thought might have been a shaky hand she didn't recognize, not even from the days that she'd had to attend royal functions. "Who is that?" she heard Snow White question, speaking aloud what all of them were asking as the girls eyes scanned the room. She was searching for someone, looking for…her! Her eyes were on her!

No. Behind her. She was looking for someone behind her. Regina seemed to realize it at the same time she did and they both turned to glance over their shoulder at a pair of well-dressed royals, obviously a king and a queen…who were staring with their mouths open looking as though they'd just seen a ghost.

"Mother?" she glanced over to see the young woman, no longer looked scared but more and more determined by the minute. "Father?" She felt Robin give her a gentle tug backward, to step out of the way just as the king and queen suddenly ran forward toward the girl and wrapped their arms around her.


	44. A Fractured Family

6 Months, 5 Days

She wasn't sure what had just happened, frankly with the dead silence in the room she wasn't sure anyone really understood what had just happened, but she knew it was good. She knew it was a reunion that child and parent had waited too long for. She knew that they'd wait another eternity if that was the cost of a moment like this. It was…happy. Truly happy. And in some small way, even a little hopeful. But…

As David and Snow seemed to gravitate towards each other she suddenly felt a urge to run forward and remind them both that this wasn't over with the announcement, that it couldn't be! They weren't defeated yet, Rumple wasn't defeated, and there was no proof that Neal was either! They wouldn't forget that, they wouldn't forget that she was still waiting to have a moment just like that with the ones she loved…would they? They were aware that one happy ending certainly didn't qualify as happily ever after…right?!

"I do believe that's the first smile I've seen on your face since you returned," Robin Hood whispered beside her.

Yes, she was smiling. Because for one brief flicker she could see what they were all capable of, the good that they could all do in the world. The witch was a very small part of what she hoped they would succeed at someday, what they could accomplish. "Just…finally looking at the bigger picture."

"Bigger picture…" Regina sighed striding closer to them. "The bigger picture is that there is more than what is going on in this room," she stated, making her feel like they'd taken a step back. The bigger picture, the future, that was all that was keeping her together, she wasn't sure she was ready to combat Regina's negativity.

"That doesn't mean that there can't be cause for a joyous occasion," Robin Hood insisted.

"Doesn't mean that a joyous occasion like this isn't the perfect time for our friend from the West to drop in on us," Regina snapped back.

"If you worry about her constantly that's nearly as good as surrendering to her," Robin pointed out.

"I don't surrender!" Regina snapped. "To anyone least of all that green pest on a filthy old broom."

"Well, certainly sounds like worry to me-"

"Remind me, why are you still here after all you did?" Regina questioned angrily, still managing to keep her voice low enough that few turned their heads to look at her, and the ones that did were smart enough, or scared enough, to move away from the Evil Queen. "You were paid handsomely for your service shouldn't you have disappeared into the forest again? Oh, that's right, I nearly forgot. You're still here because a canopy of silk and cotton surrounded by well-trained guards and a 'worried' sorceress is better than a canopy of trees and some bandits against the witch that has _me _so worried!"

"I'm not pretending the witch isn't a problem, I'm merely pointing out that there _can _be good times among the bad.

"Well maybe that's the problem. We're all too busy trying to make good memories when the world is going to hell, maybe if we stopped trying to have those good memories and start focusing on the threat at hand we wouldn't have to worry about the real 'bigger picture'."

"You can't stop life Regina," he said, practically pleading with her to see his side. "People have feelings and emotions. If we tried to ignore that we'd all give up what essentially makes us all human. We'd be dead inside."

"Sometimes being dead inside is preferable to having feelings and emotions," she growled looking around, her eyes falling over the new princess smiling and talking happily with her parents as Snow White and Charming were suddenly pulled into the conversation. The announcement wasn't made yet, they were close, but they hadn't said anything, however that didn't stop Snow from placing her a hand over the place her stomach bulged and giving it a small tender rub.

Regina saw it, one glance up at her told her that much. It was like a knife to her heart. She'd get Rumple back, she was determined to, but Henry…they had nothing, no proof to suggest that they'd ever get Henry or even Emma back, just a hope and a suspicion that she and Neal had. Something that was so uncertain they'd both failed to really believe it sometimes. And even if they could get to Henry now who knew what kind of spell Regina had placed on him, if their memories could ever be returned, if he would ever remember that he'd ever had another life, another family, if he'd ever remember just how much he loved them…how much he loved Regina. The bigger picture wasn't always a happy sight, sometimes it brought stunning and unhappy realizations. The truth was there might not be anything to fix Henry and Emma, any way to get back to them. Henry might really be lost to them.

"This happy façade is doing no one any good," Regina muttered under her breath before moving around the pair of them and toward the side door.

"She feels more than she likes to pretend she does," Robin Hood muttered beside her, "and she thinks that by simply leaving a room she can outrun it." He was right, she did. She knew because leaving a room and therefore a conversation, or thought, or idea behind was a reaction she was fairly used to from Rumpelstiltskin. Nothing good ever came from walking away. She knew that! Rumple did it, she and Neal had done it, even David had done it before all this madness began! What she wouldn't have given to go back and spoken with him when she'd seen that. Regina's unhappiness, someone had to talk to her about it, not use it against her, not make her feel threatened, she needed to talk to someone!

But Snow and Charming were still busy being thanked by the woman's parents. Robin Hood wasn't going to be of any help. She didn't think she'd respond well to Ruby or Granny or that she could even get them to talk to her. But her…they were family weren't they? They had been once, when Henry was around. She might not like her at the moment because of what she and Neal had done but she was better than some of the alternatives. Could she remember that, could she get Regina to see it as she once had, that night in the graveyard? She'd regretted letting David walk away before, could she do it again.

"I'll be back," she muttered next to Robin Hood before leaving out the door Regina had disappeared through. She hadn't gone far. She was walking down the hallway, away from the early celebration, her head down, shoulders slumped, and her arms wrapped around her stomach as if she'd been wounded and was trying desperately to keep herself together. She was hurting. Probably just as much as she was. She just wished she knew what to say about it! What would make her feel better?

"He did love you!" she called out, remembering how much those words about Rumple had meant to her when Ruby had said them. Regina stopped in her tracks and without the sound of her heels on the floor the room suddenly felt far too quiet and far too small. She was here, trying to talk, encourage the Evil Queen. Her throat felt dry, the remnants of a fear she'd had for decades. She could do this, couldn't she? "Henry…he, he did love you. I could see it when he looked at you, that day in the shop, when we switched their bodies back. Even as someone else it was obvious that he loved you, that he trusted you."

Regina said nothing. She didn't move an inch, if she didn't know any better she'd say she'd frozen herself in order to avoid listening to her. But…at least she hadn't moved farther away.

"You must miss him," she rambled on, hoping to get something out of her. "They hide it well but I think David and Snow miss Emma more than they let on-"

"Well that didn't stop them from going off and having another little miracle now did it?!" she nearly jumped at Regina's harsh tone. She automatically took a timid step back, wishing Neal was here, thinking that maybe she should have just let Snow White speak with Regina on her own terms at a later time. Especially when she spun around and she could see the fire in her eyes and the tight fists her hands made. "What do you want, exactly? To talk? To make me feel better? I lost my son! I lost the one good thing I had, the only good thing I've ever done in my life! I don't need reminding of that!"

"I thought-"

"No, you don't think!" Regina snapped stepping forward. "If you had thought we wouldn't be in this predicament! You're thinking has done nothing so far but get one man killed, drive another to insanity, and put the most powerful weapon in the realm into the hands of a murderous witch so please, by all means, what exactly did you _think_ you could do here?!"

She felt tears gather in her eyes as she fought to hold her ground, to not let herself be crushed again under the weight of the accusations she'd been trying so hard to forget! There was a reason she was here and this wasn't it. She knew this wasn't what she'd wanted to do. She had to fix this. She could do this, she could talk with Regina, calm her down.

"I wanted you to know you weren't alone," she managed to get out. "With or without Henry, you have a family, we're your family."

"Oh, don't even begin to try and convince me we're family!"

"We are through Emma and Neal. Henry-"

"Henry is gone!" Regina shouted. "Emma is gone! And Neal? You took care of that all on your own!"

"We never meant to-"

"No, that's the problem, the one family trait that we all seem to have in common! Snow never meant to tell, you never meant to kill Neal, Rumple never meant to get caught, that's the real legacy we all leave behind. We try to be a family but in the end, without Henry…" she watched as Regina's angry wavered at her sons name, as her features softened, as tears swam in her glassy eyes, and her jaw, the snarl she'd been using to scream at her with fell slack. She looked at her, searched her face for something she didn't seem to find before turning her nose up in disgust and frowning at her.

"Without Henry the only one that seems to think we're still a family is you. Open your eyes. Look around. The only one even remotely interested in rescuing Rumple is you. The only one working to defeat Zelena is me. And Snow and Charming…they finally have an opportunity they've always wanted more than anything. Do you really think they're thinking about you and me right now?! The only thing on their mind is how they can protect this child better than they did the last. Think about that for a change!" And without another word Regina turned and walked off down the hallway leaving her gasping for breath as her heart squeezed in her chest.

She'd been stupid, too swallowed up in her own brief optimism to think clearly, to understand what a bad idea talking to Regina actually was. She felt too much for her to reach her. Or maybe it was the other way around, maybe it was her that felt too much right now, felt those words more than she thought to help anyone right now! Worse, what if she was right?

Behind her, she heard someone speaking in the room everyone was gathered in. With shaking legs she found herself drawn back to the voice, to the arched doorway she'd only just left from as she peered in. David and Snow standing by their thrones, high above the crowd. David held his wife's hand and gave her happy sideways glances that she was always happy to return with a wide beam of her own.

"…of course we had planned to make this announcement tonight," David was saying, "but…when you have joy like the kind we have, when you have news like we do, holding it in is harder to do than it may seem. Which is why it is our great pleasure to announce that we are expecting our second child. The future King or Queen of this Kingdom." There was thunderous applause around the room as Snow blushed and reached for her husband, happily wrapping her hand around his arm as he leaned down to kiss her.

She felt a stab of pain rocket through her heart and resonate through her body as she watched them share a private moment in midst of a crowd. All the while Regina's words echoed in her mind, nearly making her crumble as she returned to her room and put away the dress she'd pulled out to wear to the party that night. _"The only one even remotely interested in rescuing Rumple is you!"_


	45. When History Begins Again

6 Months, 4 Weeks, 1 Day

It wasn't happening again, it wasn't! Regina couldn't have been right…could she?

When she and Neal had lived in the castle they had been aware then that they were the only ones fighting to get home, to get Rumple back and Neal home to Henry and Emma. That knowledge had made it easier for them to do what they'd done, to keep secrets, and put together what they needed. It hadn't been kind, it hadn't been easy but at least then they knew where they stood with the royals. If they'd wanted Rumple back they would find no help from them, only hindrance. They knew that.

But this was different. This felt different. There were words this time, real words, a promise! "As soon as the royals are gone we can search for Zelena in private" that was what they'd promised before the announcement. The problem was that after the announcement the promise hadn't changed much. In fact it had barely changed at all because they hadn't found any time to meet so they could talk about it! The royals had been eager for the announcement to be made and to get back to their countries but the second that they knew Snow White was pregnant, the second David returned home with that stranger, suddenly their plans seemed to change right before her eyes.

The women swarmed Snow White, they cornered her in hallways, they doted on her, and pulled her into fine sitting rooms where they giggled and talked on and on for hours about pregnancy, mood swings, morning sickness. She'd hoped that she might be able to talk to her alone about Regina and what she'd said that day when she went to their chambers to fit her for a new dress one night. But again she'd found the room filled with strange women, one or two she even recognized from balls of her own. As she'd worked she realized that any kind of conversation with Snow wasn't realistic. The woman moved around her, criticizing her every move, giving her advice she didn't need or want!

"No, no, no that's too low, you should pull the dress back! We don't want to harm the baby!"

"Oh, make sure the neckline dips just a little! If you have to deal with a little extra cleavage for the next few months you may as well enjoy it, Your Majesty!"

"Lovely colors, but this is a happy occasion dear! Maybe something brighter, yellow or pink! Or white! Can't forget your namesake can we?!"

She dealt with it, managing to keep herself in order no matter how much she wanted to stand up and yell at them to "get out!" and that she knew what she was doing! But it wasn't until a princess she recognized came up and grabbed her, pulled her away from the dress she'd laid out on the bed, and said "Girl! Girl! You have to be careful how tight you are making these!" that she had to force herself to leave quickly for fear she'd say something she shouldn't. She made it nearly back to her room before she had to lean against the wall, dropping the dresses to the floor as her hands balled into fists. She focused solely on clenching her jaw tight to hold back the frustrated scream rising in the pit of her stomach!

Charlotte. The woman's name was Charlotte! She was one of three sisters that her mother had called "The Silly Blonde Girls" because they'd always fawned over Gaston. And while she'd never been the smartest of the girls she'd grown up with she did know her! They'd met at balls too many times to count and she was two years older than her! She wasn't a servant girl! She wasn't! She was a princess and Neal was right right after all! It wasn't something she could turn on and off, whether she lived in her father's castle and wore long gowns, or if she preferred spending days at a sewing machine in simpler dresses! She was…

She was the Dark One's lover, the match for Rumpelstiltskin in every way. And that thought, that preference over someday ruling a Kingdom at Gaston's side was exactly what kept her from marching back into that room and demanding Charlotte treat her with the respect that she was owed. She hadn't had urges like that for decades. If he'd been here, or if Neal was still with her, she knew she wouldn't have regressed half as badly. If Rumple were here she wouldn't be living in this castle to begin with. She wouldn't feel like Snow sometimes saw her as her own personal tailor instead of an ally more than ready to begin working against Zelena, for Rumple, for her child's safety.

It wasn't happening again. Regina wasn't right, but…

The men were no better. They laughed and joked with David, clapped him on the shoulder proudly after dinner, kept him busy. And then there was the small wrench in their plan, the other mishap that no one could have seen coming.

Rapunzel. The stranger, the woman David had brought back, her name was Rapunzel and as it turned out she'd been missing for decades! She had been spared from the curse, one that had been left behind in Sherwood Forest just like Robin Hood and his men, Aurora and Philip. She'd run away from home, shortly after the death of her brother, under pressure of ruling a Kingdom on her own someday. Consumed with fear she'd heard of a root, a special plant that would take away her fear, but it wasn't nearly as easy as it seemed!

"All magic comes with a price," she whispered under her breath one night as she listened to her tell the tale again, at the insistence of a prince that seemed far too impressed with her. Rapunzel's price was more fear, hiding away in a tower from a figure, a witch, who came for her each time she tried to leave. She stayed in her tower for decades, all through the curse, until time started again, until they all returned months later back to the Enchanted Forest, too afraid to leave. She'd traded one terror for another until David had come along, showed her that the witch was nothing but a manifestation of her own fear, helped her confront it, and finally rid herself of it. Now? Now she felt strong, confident, now she felt ready to rule!

"You're story is a remarkable one!" those around her stated with admiration.

"You are truly a very strong woman!" And humble too. She was always quick to answer that she couldn't have done it without David.

"You saved yourself," David always insisted predictably. By the second week she'd heard the story so many times she could practically repeat the entire thing, word for word. But fortunately enough for them the second week was when people finally began to leave. Some had been away from their homes for close to two months and they couldn't be gone any longer. It was with "great regret" that they finally began making arrangements and slowly trickling out, family by family. Rapunzel's left at the end of the third week and finally, after she and her parents were gone, the few remaining decided the excitement was over, packed their bags, and one week later the castle was blissfully quiet.

"This means Regina can leave now," she muttered when the doors were finally closed and the staff had gone back to their work. "She can start looking for Zelena and Rumple?"

"I think that's a conversation to have with Regina," David informed her, wrapping an arm around Snow White. "But a conversation we can have tomorrow, you should rest. Both of you," he said to his wife and unborn child.

She only shook her head and took a few steps closer to the pair. It wasn't happening again. It wasn't. Regina wasn't right! "Actually I've been wanting to speak with you about Regina," she mentioned. "About something she said, something that worries me-"

"Your majesty!" they all turned back to see a man had thrown open the door, looking breathless as he called for them. There was something in his eyes that made her shiver, something that told her she wouldn't be discussing Regina with David and Snow tonight. It was fear. Something had happened. "You'd better take a look at this," the man urged.

"This" happened to be a "who", three of them to be exact. Three faces she knew that she wished she didn't need to see again. Rapunzel, her mother, and her father, there in the barn, shaking and wringing their hands, and in the case of Rapunzel taking long strides as she paced back and forth.

"David!" the girl shouted the minute they entered the barn. She ran forward and threw her arms around his neck, sighing as she clung to him. "Thank goodness you're alright I was worried!"

"Rapunzel! You're back! We didn't expect to see you…again…so soon!" David blanched as he peeled the frightened woman away.

"They're dead! All of them! It was only by luck that we survived!" she shouted back at him.

"Dead?" Snow questioned. "Who? Who's dead?"

"Our guard," she glanced over Rapunzel's shoulder to see her father, a hand on her mother's shoulder as he continued to comfort her while they spoke, "we were ambushed on our way back to the kingdom."

"Ambushed?!" Snow White mused. "By who?!" but the question wasn't filled with genuine curiosity, it was fearful curiosity, because she knew that all of them already knew exactly who had ambushed the royal family.

"Flying monkeys!" Rapunzel blurt out with a face of horror and disbelief, like she couldn't believe what she'd actually seen, like she feared they might think she was crazy for suggesting it. Maybe they'd done too good a job at hiding the witch's actions.

"It was the Wicked Witch of the West," Rapunzel's father informed them again, calmly as his wife dissolved into tears again against his shoulder at only the name. And she wasn't the only one to react, David swallowed nervously, looking from Rapunzel to her parents, then back to Snow White again who looked like she'd just been slapped, or shaken back into reality and had completely forgotten about the witch. No…she couldn't have…Regina wasn't right! They hadn't forgotten, they'd just been distracted! Between the pregnancy and the announcement and Rapunzel and the royals…they hadn't lost sight of what was really going on. Hadn't they?

The sobs of Rapunzel's mother broke the strained silence and awkward glances Snow and David were giving one another, reminding them that they were looking at survivors of a possibly very brutal attack under nothing but the shelter of a barn. This was the last place they needed to be.

"There's uh, there's a way into the castle," she muttered stepping around David and Snow, closer to the Queen that was growing more and more hysterical by the second. They needed to get her some place she felt safe, some place private. The room, the little one they'd been using for private meetings, where they'd met once David had disappeared and royals had been around, it was the perfect place to go.


	46. Hints to Something

6 Months, 4 Weeks, 1 Day

It should have been easy, getting six people into a room, but in the end the task turned into a group effort. Between Belle and the King they managed to usher the woman inside with Snow and David following along as they guided the princess. But the Queen was growing worse by the second, her ordeal over, she was finally falling apart and getting her to move, to not collapse into a heap was a struggle. When they spotted Ruby they sent her for blankets, Granny made a comment about getting them something to eat before hurrying away, and when they rounded the corner and practically ran into Robin Hood and his son the woman spooked. She lost her footing all together and fell into a heap on the floor. But Robin reacted calmly enough. After a brief explanation that they needed to get her somewhere safe he simply picked the Queen up and carried her, at Roland's questioning she gathered the boy, already nearly half her height, up in her arms and carried him along. Grumpy was the next to spot them and on command he ran ahead opening doors and starting a fire which they finally set the limp Queen down beside in a chair as her head lolled.

"Will she be alright?" she asked holding Roland away from them.

"She's in shock," Granny said behind her, coming into the room with Ruby, they had blankets, tea, and soup. Ruby dispensed what she could as everyone stared at the sleeping Queen. "The boy should go," Granny muttered over her shoulder looking the woman over.

There was a moment of silence as everyone looked at one another, silently begging someone else to take the child so that they didn't have to leave themselves before Grumpy stepped up. "I'll take him," he declared with a grimace.

"To Regina, if you will," Robin requested as she set him down to take Grumpy's hand. "She'll watch him, keep him safe." Grumpy nodded and took him out of the room, no one thought to question Regina's babysitting skills, or love for Roland, just watched as Granny turned back to the woman and hit her cheek a few times, but nothing happened. Finally she watched as Granny pulled her hand back and outright slapped the Queen across the face, making her jump, scream, and try to understandably run away. It took another fifteen minutes to sit her back in the chair, for her husband to calm her, and for Granny to get her wrapped up in blankets and get her to hold onto a bowl of soup, but once it was done, once the Queen was handled David gave a small nod to Rapunzel, who promised her mother she was going to be right back and pried her hand out of her grip.

"What happened?" David asked pulling her aside.

Rapunzel glanced over her shoulder, back to her mother, probably to be sure she wasn't listening, then looked back at them, her eyes scanning quickly over her, David, and finally Snow before she crossed her arms over her chest. "We were attacked," she whispered finally, keeping her voice down. "We didn't make it far before our caravan stopped in the middle of the road. There was this awful sound, screeching, shrieking, and then the guards were yelling, screaming orders at one another. I got up to see what had happened but the carriage moved, shook, then rolled across the road!

"When we finally stopped turning and tried to get out, the door opened and she was just there! This horrible woman…green skin…a broom in one hand…her smile…it gave me shivers," the girl admitted, looking as though she might burst into tears at any moment, looking like she needed to keep her arms crossed in front of her just to keep from falling apart. She glanced over her shoulder again, checking on her mother, then moved farther away, her voice dropping even more.

"She told us we could get out on our own or she'd make us and the next thing I knew the carriage was on fire. We ran out as fast as we could but the as soon as we escaped there were claws on us. She told the…those…things…she told those creatures to search the burned up wreckage and a few minutes later there was more shrieking and when I looked up she was standing there, right in front of me! I'll never forget that face. I think it'll haunt my dreams and turn them into nightmares until I die!"

"Alright!" David cooed, reaching out and touching her shoulder, just like Neal would have done for her when he was acting like a big brother. "Just relax. You're safe now, but we really need you to tell us about what happened with Zelena. What did she want? Did she say anything?"

Rapunzel nodded and swallowed hard. "Your sword. She told me that I had great courage to face my fear, that I wasn't ideal but I'd do, and demanded the sword I'd used to conquer my fear." David's hand drifted down to rest on the hilt of his sword.

"What did you tell her?"

"The truth!" she spat. "That I didn't have it! I told her that I only had courage because you helped me to, that the sword was yours not mine. She said it didn't matter. I was the one that had defeated my fear and used the sword and she wanted to know where it was."

"Did you tell her where it was?"

"With you, yes…I'm sorry! I've never seen eyes like hers and she threatened my parents, please understand I'd only just gotten them back!"

David offered her a defeated sigh but corrected it by giving her an encouraging nod. "What exactly did you tell her?"

"I told her the sword was yours, I only used it because you'd dropped it, and after the fight you'd taken it back! I told her the sword was here with you! She must have believed me because she called off the monkeys and flew away…on a broom! She flew away on a broom! My father said she's a witch! He said we had to get somewhere safe in case she came back! She'd killed our entire guard, our horses, our carriage was burned. We walked here through the forest for days before we got here, I thought my mother would go insane, she's barely been hanging on…all of us…we just…we didn't expect…" Rapunzel's chest heaved up and down, a feeling she recognized. She was beyond tears, beyond hysterics. She had been frightened and strong for too long all on her own and it was finally coming apart at the seams. She could easily sympathize with that!

"Come on," she muttered stepping forward and wrapping an arm around her. "We'll get you something to eat and a place to sleep for tonight-"

"The witch!"

"She won't attack," Snow White assured her. "We'll have Regina set a protection spell over the castle. You'll be safe here."

She led her back to the fire, back to her father and mother, who opened her arms for the princess to collapse onto her lap immediately. She couldn't tell if her mother was holding her or if she was holding her mother but at Granny's bidding she turned to get the girl a bowl of soup, "to settle your nerves, because if there is one thing I know," Granny declared encouragingly, "it's that good food is good for the body and better for the soul." As she finished ladling soup into a bowl for Rapunzel, she looked to the far corner of the room, where Snow was watching David, talking eagerly with him. He had one hand on her belly and the other on the hilt of his sword as he spoke in a hushed tone so that no one could hear…so that she couldn't hear.

It wasn't happening again…Regina couldn't possibly be right…could she?


	47. Magical Swords, Plots, and Advice

7 Months

It was well past midnight before they finally got everyone calmed down and settled. The Queen didn't want to be left alone not even for the night and with the reassurance that her husband and daughter were near. They finally got her, and her shaken family, into a suite next to Snow White and Charming, with the promise that if anything went wrong they'd only be next door, and there would be guards posted at the door and on the balcony, just in case. The Queen agreed, but she suspected in the end it had very little to do with all the protection she'd been given and more to do with the fact that she completely exhausted and Granny assured them she'd keep a crossbow ready as they slept.

But the second the family was sealed into their new compartments, she followed Snow, David, Robin, and Ruby to Regina's private compartments. It was the first smile that she'd seen on Regina's face in…since they'd arrived she supposed. She'd traded an elegant gown for something simple and sat in a chair by a fire a blanket wrapped around Roland who was asleep in her arms. There was a book resting by her side and small wooden toys scattered around the rug as if they'd enjoyed their time together playing and reading. Regina and Roland, if she didn't know about Henry, she would have thought that it was impossible.

Roland was sound asleep but Regina wasn't, she looked as though she'd been up waiting for them all night and the second that she spotted them held a finger to her mouth to keep them quiet, gathered Roland up, and laid him down on the chaise, making sure the blanket was secure over him. "Did he give you any trouble? I didn't mean to impose-"

"You're presence in this castle is an imposition," she whispered to Robin Hood tucking the child in. "But unlike his father, he never gives me any trouble at all." She smiled and pushed his hair off his forehead as if to kiss the child but then thought better of it and rose to her feet.

"Regina," David inserted as Robin opened his mouth to argue with her. "There's a problem, we need to talk, now!"

"Of course there's a problem," Regina growled, turning and leading them into an adjoining room away from the sleeping child. "You wouldn't be here or send Roland to me unless there was a problem, the question is what's gone wrong this time?"

"Zelena," David explained, "she attacked Rapunzel and her parents on their way back to their kingdom. She was looking for my sword, ready to kill to get it, any idea why?"

"How am I supposed to know how she thinks?"

"By thinking like the Evil Queen instead of Regina," Snow pressed. "Think! Why would she want Charming's sword? Or any sword?"

Regina glared at Snow White and she couldn't entirely say that she didn't deserve that death stare, but after a few moments she took a few strides over to David and slid the sword free from its sheath and held it in her hands. There was silence in the room as she looked it over, set it down on a table in a small area that was coming to remind her of Rumpelstiltskin's work area than Regina's room.

"Well?" David asked finally.

"Patience," Regina muttered, "all in good time." She watched as she picked up a grey mortar and pestle and ground something up into a fine powder, which she sprinkled over the sword with a few fingers. The sword suddenly glowed white.

"What's that?" David asked. "What's that mean? What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing," Regina drawled emotionlessly. "It simply means it's not an ordinary object, it's not meaningless. Zelena must know that, it must be why she wants it."

"What?" David questioned, looking confused and shaking his head at the riddle she'd presented with her.

"This was the sword the girl used to overcome her fear?" Regina pressed almost scientifically.

"Yes. When we were in the tower, I dropped it and-"

"Don't continue!" the Queen snapped, holding her hand up to stop David before he could say another word. "I've heard nothing except for that story since you returned from the forest, if I have to listen to it one more time I can't be held responsible for my actions anymore."

David and Snow exchanged frustrated glances but she had to fight to hide her smirk. No matter how she felt about Regina and her opinions, no matter what Regina thought about her, it was nice to know there was at least one person that was tired of the story day after day for weeks on end.

"So what does it mean?" Robin finally asked staring down at the metal.

Regina rolled her eyes as she turned back to him. "Not that it's any of your business," she drawled, "but I'd bet she was after it for its courage. Rapunzel's to be precise. When dealing with magic, swords can represent a variety of traits but it's most commonly used when courage is required."

"You're saying my sword contains Rapunzel's courage?" David questioned. "How is that possible she said she felt stronger afterward, courageous, how did it take it?"

"It didn't," Regina clarified. "Weren't you listening, the sword is a symbol, it only represents her courage!"

"But the glow-"

"Just means that it's important to someone, symbolic. The only power it has is power we've bestowed upon it."

"Well…" David looked at the sword, searched it, looking almost disgusted at it. "Can we remove it? Transfer it? Anything?!"

"Unless you're willing to have it destroyed, no," the sorceress answered. "It's a flaw magic has that once items become symbolic there is no way to remove the symbolism easily. I'd have to wipe all of our memories of it, or create a curse of some kind to create a blank slate, but the only one who would know how to do that quickly is Rumpelstiltskin and it doesn't sound as though he knows much of anything right now." Regina cast her a sideways chastising glance that nearly stole the breath out of her lungs. She felt her throat tighten and had to fight to contain her angry tears. Hadn't she said she was sorry enough? Did Regina think that she already felt more guilt than one person could handle?! Hadn't she suffered enough, wasn't she constantly suffering in pain all this time and wouldn't she until she got him back? Hadn't Regina done enough damage as it was?

"Comments like that aren't going to fix this!" Ruby stated firmly, glaring at the woman. A rose among thorns. Ruby, her constant watch dog. She offered a small smile to her friend hoping she'd understand her gratitude until the time came that she could properly thank her.

"No what will fix this is figuring out what Zelena is trying to do!" David agreed. "Our baby, my sword-"

"Technically it's Rapunzel's courage," Regina added, "your sword is just the symbol of that."

"So we destroy it!" Snow White said, "just like you suggested, we remove it!"

"And risk her going after someone else's courage?!" Regina snapped. "Like hell we will!"

"Is that possible? Can she use someone else's courage?" David asked.

"Rapunzel said that Zelena told her she wasn't ideal, but she'd do," Belle recalled suddenly.

"Exactly!" Regina confirmed. "True courage isn't easy to get a hold of, but it's not impossible! If we destroy the sword she'll just look elsewhere."

"So let's make her look elsewhere!" Robin Hood suddenly stated.

"Haven't you been listening?!" Regina questioned at him.

"I have and you've completely overlooked the third option that we have!"

"Which is what, exactly?"

"Set a trap for her!" Robin argued loudly! "I may not know much about magic but I know about the hunt, looking for something you seek, theft! Look…we know what she's after! We don't know why, but we know that it would be easier for her to take it from us than replace it so we set a trap!"

"No!" Snow White insisted, shaking her head. "No, I don't like it! There's too many ways that this could go wrong and every time we go up against this woman we fail! We can't risk her getting the sword, it's best to just destroy it!"

"We don't have to use the sword," Robin assured the Queen. "We make a copy, one that's identical to it, we send the royal family back to their Kingdom with a new guard, put protections up around it, make it look like it's being guarded, draw her out, all the while the real one is here. She attempts to go after it, we catch her!"

"How?!" Snow questioned. "All she has to do is summon Rumpelstiltskin to her side and kill us all!"

"I'll go!" Belle burst out. "He didn't hurt me last time she ordered him to kill me, maybe he can't!"

"Touching but unnecessary," Regina snapped. "I mean really, even if you do have an immunity to Rumpelstiltskin, what do you plan to do with the witch, throw a book at her?! No…I'll go. I can handle my sister and Rumpelstiltskin-"

"You haven't exactly managed to handle her thus far," Robin commented. "You can't even manage to locate her!"

"I learn from my mistakes, I'll be ready for her this time!"

"How?!"

"Why is that any of your business?!"

"Stop!" David yelled. "Stop, both of you and focus! Please! You'll have time to bicker later! Now we need to focus. Robin…this idea of yours, do you think you and your men could defend the royal family against another monkey attack?"

"With the right amount of people I have every confidence we could. I can have the men ready and prepared to go as soon as the family is rested and ready to travel."

"That could be a while," Ruby stated. "I don't think the Queen will be able to handle this."

"Yeah, we'll get to that in a second," David muttered, looking determined. She could practically see the gears in his head turning round and round. She didn't know where, but at some point, someone had said something that had given David an idea. A good idea? One that could be helpful? That would help all of them and not just their child? "Robin, going has to be your choice," he told the man. "She used her monkeys to kill all the guards the last time, if you go you have to know about the risks. If something happens to you who would look after Roland?"

Robin was quiet for a moment, he cast a look at the door they'd just come from, his son slept peacefully just on the other side, and for a moment she thought that he'd back down, that he'd come to his senses realize just how silly all this was and that he couldn't leave Roland, but the gaze that he cast around the small group, her, Ruby, Snow and David, even Regina…it wasn't hesitant. It was determination.

"The risk exists," he answered finally, "but I believe my men and I can handle any attack, animal or human. Magical on the other hand..."

"I'll handle that," Regina answered. "Leave the magic to me and if nothing else I'll ensure your safety for your son's sake." There was a wave of surprise that moved around the room at the unexpected pronouncement. Eyebrows raised, eyes blinked, heads shook as if their owners had just been slapped. Regina promising to protect Robin Hood? If she didn't think she was already living in hell she would have thought that the world had ended when they weren't looking! Regina merely cast her eyes away and turned back to the sword. "Every child needs their parent," she muttered. "Now when it comes to the sword, I can create a copy, something that looks good enough to draw Zelena to it, but that's still not a promise she'll actually show up."

"That doesn't mean that the Queen will agree to it," Snow pointed out.

"She doesn't have to," David commented. "It's not worth traumatizing her again, or letting them travel all the way back to their Kingdom. There's too much space between here and there, too many places they could be attacked. We'll send Rapunzel and the fake sword somewhere closer, somewhere protected, somewhere she would hide!"

"You know of a place?" Robin asked.

"The dwarf mines," Snow suggested, looking up at David. "That's only a couple of days from here, there are dozens of places for Rapunzel to hide, hundreds of ways to hide the sword. Guards, dwarves, and the fairies are never far-"

"Perfect!" David nodded. "We'll let them rest, then I'll prep Rapunzel, the King and Queen can stay here until this entire thing is over, and when it is…" he turned back to Snow White placed his hands over her swollen belly, and smiled at her. "When it's over our baby will be safe! We'll lock her in Rumpelstiltskin old cell, remove her magic, and she won't be able to harm our child!"

She felt her heart drop as Snow White smile hopefully, her jaw dropping! Something, something in her heart snapped, and she cast a glance over to Regina who looked to be the only one judging her reaction, but even she slid her gaze away looking almost as though she felt sorry for her! They both knew why.

Regina had been right.

What had happened months ago, what had driven her and Neal away…it had happened again!

"We'll see that you all leave as soon as possible, I'll keep my sword with me for safekeeping, until you need it to replicate it-"

"What about Rumpelstiltskin?!" her voice came out louder than she'd expected it to, angrier than she'd wanted it to, but the silence that they gave her took away every guilty thought she had. She knew she was quiet, she always considered that it meant she knew how to listen, but the problem was, as Regina had pointed out so aptly not long ago, not everyone in the room was listening for the solution to the same problem. If they were going to fight their battles, fight for their reasons, then she'd happily fight for her own!

"How does this help Rumple? Or Neal? You seem to keep forgetting that she has the dagger-"

"We haven't forgotten anything," David said in a soft gentle voice, a calming voice. Strangely enough it had the opposite effect on her, that same effect that voice always had when her father or even Rumple attempted to use it to cool her anger. But if it didn't work with them, it certainly wouldn't work with David. "We'll try to do the best we can, but this entire situation requires delicacy-"

"Delicacy?!" she questioned. "No one here has used any kind of delicacy since this entire thing started, to ignore the fact that she's out there with Rumple and Neal ignores the biggest flaw in the plan! We need to get that dagger back, first! We need to find a way to separate Rumple and Neal and preserve his life!"

"If we catch her now we'll get the dagger!"

"You can't be sure of that! We can't be sure of anything anymore! Unless you have a plan for getting that dagger away from her then this entire plan is doomed from the start!"

"Belle please," Snow reached for her but she stepped away and shook her head.

"You know as well as I do that the time for delicacy ended long ago. You wouldn't be acting on this if you didn't! And after what happened in Storybrooke, after Neverland, with Pan…after what Rumple did for all of us…you own him more than 'trying' to do your best to save him and the father of your grandson!" she yelled.

She stood still for a moment, looked them over and dared them to add something, to challenge her in some way…but no one said anything. And after a few beats of silence she felt her anger subside and tears return to her eyes just as they had been weeks ago. What a waste. In the time she'd been back they'd taken two steps forward, but another one back. This wouldn't have been what Henry would have wanted for them.

Unable to take their sympathetic and guilty stares she turned and left the room.


	48. Hope is Love

7 Months, 2 Days

Ruby tried to talk to her again. This time she refused to listen, refused to let herself be swayed into thinking that everyone was fighting this battle together for the common good! She'd made that mistake not once, not twice, but three times now…she wasn't going to let it happen again.

The only one who managed to talk to her was Robin Hood and it was only because it was he ran up to her in the hallway saying "I know you're angry and I'm not going to say you don't have reason to be!" It was hard to argue with someone admitting that she was right. It was even harder to argue when he didn't want to talk about the issues and simply wanted to know if she'd watch Roland while he was away. If it had been anyone else she probably would have walked away that very second, tired of being used for dresses and information that no one ever seemed to consider…but it was Robin. He was her friend. And Roland, well, she'd never been a babysitter before, but for the most part the small boy was able to look after himself, and she wasn't about to leave him here alone. With David keeping the real sword close at all times Snow and Charming were out of the question in his mind, and though he liked Ruby and Granny, he had doubts about the "old woman's parenting style". She trusted Granny and knew how caring she could be but Robin didn't, and with the caravan leaving in the morning for the mines he needed reassurance not suggestion. The truth was that out of all of them Robin had no reason to risk his life, Zelena had never showed any interest in him or in Roland, and though he didn't want to leave she was fairly confident that he could leave the castle at any point and the witch would leave father and son in peace. Out of all of them Robin was the only one doing the noble thing. That deserved some recognition.

"I'll watch him until you're back, and Robin…" she reached out and took his hand, squeezing it against the small nervous flashes that betrayed his "confidence". "You will come back. When it comes to children, when it comes to Roland, you can trust Regina. She'll make sure you see your son again."

He nodded and looked her over. "And, for what it's worth," he added gently, "I'm sure David and Snow White aren't intentionally trying to forget about Neal…or the Dark One." There was a memory, in the back of her head from the first night that she and Neal had been in the castle, the very first day that they'd been back, when they'd all stood around trying to figure out who Zelena was to Regina and what it meant for them. When Snow and David had been so wrapped up in sending Emma and Henry safely across the town line that they'd completely forgotten that Rumpelstiltskin had died in front of them that morning, that while Emma and Henry were safe, they'd sustained a loss that, in her mind, couldn't be compared to theirs. _"I could say they didn't mean it, but somehow I think that makes it worse,"_ Neal had told her. He was right. If they'd thought about Rumple as she had Zelena or their child, if they'd taken care to ingrain that someone was hurting in their minds, they wouldn't have said it, they wouldn't have made the mistake.

"That only makes it that much worse," she mumbled to Robin before moving around him. She didn't know where she was going, didn't know what she was planning on doing, or why she wasn't just going back to her room to scream her frustrations into her pillow. She felt…she felt…trapped. She felt like the castle was too small, she felt like her room, the hallway, wasn't big enough to contain herself. It crushed her, slowly at first, then faster with each step, with each beat of her pounding heart! She broke into a run, shuffled up a tower, and opened a wooden door…

The door took her outside, up to a wall walk, in the cooler night air, where she clutched the parapet and gasped for air. She knew what it was-panic attack, she'd had so many of them since she'd gotten free of Regina that even in the middle of them, when she felt like the world was closing in around her she knew it wasn't and she just had to calm herself down. But…she hadn't had one this bad in months! She'd never had to deal with them on her own like this. They had always seemed to be the consequence of some horrible nightmare and he'd always been there to help her through them, to rub her back, to tell her she was safe, to tell her that he loved her!

Those memories didn't help her feel any better. Her knees buckled, her legs gave out from underneath her, and she slid down onto the walk in a heap. She did her best to gather herself, to calm down. She stared at the endless dark sky, reminded herself that she was perfectly free, she even tried counting the stars. But in the end…

She just wanted him! She just wanted to hear his voice, to feel him against her again. She just wanted to breathe without feeling broken! First a hole in her heart, now a black vortex of guilt consumed her more and more each day! Would no one help her? Should she just leave again? Try on her own? Do some reading, find some other form of magic, some other way to get her family back! Regina was right…everyone was looking after themselves, maybe it was time she started to look after her own interests as well. Only she wasn't sure she could. The idea sounded selfish, even to Lacey, and with the exception of those few days she'd been Lacey she'd never exactly been good at being selfish. But could she do it for Rumple? For Neal? Could she do it for her family? Could she save them on her own, be their heroes and let the others rescue themselves?

"Belle?" she glanced over to find Leroy, Grumpy she supposed, approaching her timidly from just down the walk. Instinctively she reached up and wiped tears from her cheeks, suddenly aware that she'd somehow managed to calm herself down, now she just needed not to be sitting on the ground, looking as though she was falling apart. "What are you doing up here?" the dwarf questioned, moving over to her and offering her a hand. "Are you hurt?"

"No," she muttered. "No, I'm fine, I just…I tripped," she lied.

Grumpy looked her up and down skeptically and she knew from the look that he gave her that he didn't believe a word of her story, but he kindly turned away, rested his arms against the parapet and ignored it, choosing to look out over the grounds instead. "If you say so," he grumbled just before she could excuse herself. She watched as the dwarf reached into his pocket, pulled out a metal flask, unscrewed it, and glanced over at her. "You mind?" he asked.

If he drank? "Not at all," she muttered. Permission granted, the dwarf raised the flask to his mouth and took two long gulps. She watched as he winced before taking in a deep breath.

"Strong…just the way I like it. You...you wouldn't want any...would you?" he asked. No. No, she didn't, in fact she was just about to excuse herself, to tell him that she needed to go when she felt Lacey claw desperately for the stuff inside her mind. For that reason alone she should have refused, but there was a time that she'd been able to mute her sorrows with amber liquid, a time before she was Lacey…a time before Grumpy was Grumpy, and when she opened her mouth to turn him down, what came out instead was "sure".

She took the flask from him and rested against the parapet to look out over the Kingdom with him as she took a long swallow of her own. Whiskey. A favorite of Lacey's, but something that still made her nose turn up and her throat burn. No, it wasn't good but the warm sensation that spread through her was worth it. She still preferred beer…ale, here she supposed. That was what she'd been drinking the first time she'd been at that tavern, trying to forget, to live in a haze just so she could survive day to day. The first time she'd met the dwarf, when he'd gone by another name…

"So," she managed, trying to ignore the burn and enjoy the buzz as she rested there with him. "What are you doing up here? You're leaving with the others in the morning shouldn't you be with them?"

Grumpy shrugged and took the flask from her again, his grimace growing as he took another drink. "Same as you," he muttered. "'Tripping.'"

Tripping. Both of them. She knew why she was "tripping" but Grumpy? She'd never seen him look this way, not since they'd left Storybrooke, not even since that day at the tavern? What was bothering him? Snow? The baby? "What uh, what are we 'tripping' about, exactly?"

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," Grumpy muttered to her, she knew it was supposed to be funny, a joke probably, but somehow, maybe because of the alcohol in the system it just wasn't. Didn't everyone know by now?

"Rumple," she muttered quietly.

"Nova," he answered. She looked at him, expecting more, not understanding the meaning behind the word. He was upset over a cosmic explosion?

"I'm, I'm sorry Nova?" she questioned, hoping that one little sip hadn't gotten her so drunk she was simply misunderstanding.

"Nova," Grumpy repeated. "She's…she's…"

She.

Suddenly she understood. Grumpy was going back, back to the mines, back to a time before he'd been…well, Grumpy! But who else would be waiting there for him when he returned. "She's the uh, the girl isn't she? The one that wanted you to watch the fireflies with you?"

Grumpy cast her a sideways glance, then turned back to his flask and nodded before quickly taking another gulp and offering the metal container to her. She didn't argue, or question, merely took it from him and swallowed another unhealthy gulp. She'd always wondered about Leroy, the man that had originally been known to her as Dreamy but changed his name to Grumpy sometime after they'd said their last good-bye at the tavern, before she'd gone out to face the Yaoguai, what felt like forever ago. But the first time she'd met him again, in Storybrooke, when they'd asked each other what had become of the other they'd both answered with the same non-committal phrase: "it's a long story."

But they'd never quite gotten passed that day, never really breeched the subject. She assumed that he knew, or that someone would tell him, since most of the town found talking about her and the relationship she had to the Dark One came second nature. Frankly, some days it seemed people know more about the two of them than she did. But what about Grumpy? What about Dreamy? She'd never heard anything about his past! They'd never talked about it? Why had it taken her so long to realize that?

"What uh, what happened…to the two of you?"

Grumpy grimaced, took his hat off and rubbed his forehead, looking completely defeated at such a simple question. She should have left him alone. Her attack had passed, she should have just left him here to "trip" all he wanted, and not reopen old scars. After all the last thing she wanted was for her own to be reopened without her permission. Being away from him was cruel and unnatural enough as it was, she didn't need to force someone else to-

"Novaisafairy," Grumpy stated quickly, forcing her to go over the words in her head one more time to properly identify what he'd said. Nova is a fairy. A fairy. The woman that Dreamy, Grumpy, had fallen in love with so long ago wasn't just a woman, but a fairy?! "Dwarves don't fall in love and fairies…fairies are supposed to turn into Fairy Godmothers and do good in the world. If we had run away together, she would never accomplish all her dreams and…if I'd left I wouldn't be with my brothers."

That was what had happened? He'd come back and told her that they were going to run away together and they'd never actually gone. He'd let her go. For her dreams, so she could do good, be a hero…she wiped a stray tear from her cheek and reach over to take the flask from him once more. Where had she heard a story like that before?

She choked the burning liquid down again and handed it over to him. No, the moment that he'd let her go was still there. Walking out of his castle alone, the way he had disappeared so he didn't have to say good-bye, the alcohol couldn't erase that. Just like it couldn't erase the moment that she'd come back, the unhappy ending they had then, and every happy moment and reunion they'd had since then. They would get another one…wouldn't they? And Nova and Dreamy…Grumpy?

"Did you ever see her again?"

The corner of Grumpy's mouth twitched in what she thought was the closest thing to a smirk that she had ever seen him give, the closest thing she'd seen to a smile since that happy day in the tavern. "A couple of times," he answered. "Enough to wish things could be different. Enough to know that it won't work." She frowned at the man, at the man that had once been optimistic and full of hope. It wasn't right. For him to have given her up like that, for them both to have given each other up, that was an act of true love that she'd experienced for herself! She knew it wasn't natural, it wasn't normal for true loves to be separated. It drowned hope. Crushed it. Kept optimism at bay. She'd been so worried about Rumple, about whether or not Neal would ever return, that she'd completely forgotten what a terrible feeling it was to be away from him. Was that what she'd been feeling lately? Was that why she felt so…hopeless?!

"But it worked out for you and Rumpelstiltskin," Grumpy muttered suddenly, as if he'd been reading her thoughts all along. "I mean…as good as it can when you're dating the Dark One," he altered in a way that made her stomach tighten uncomfortable because she could hear his irritation for him in his voice. If he wasn't drunk, she figured he might have taken more offense to it than she did now. No, she wasn't an idiot, his inhibitions were lowered because of the whiskey, and if they hadn't been he would have controlled himself, remembered who he was talking to and about what. But instead…she could forgive his tone, just this once.

"We work together," she admitted. "I know that it doesn't make sense when the world looks at the two of us but when we're together…we just fit. It's right and it's good and…" And if she didn't get him back, she didn't know where she'd begin, what would happen to her. She had to help him, she had to save him, and she had to at least try to get Neal back! And if she couldn't? If Neal was beyond hope? Tears gathered in her eyes again as an awful thought, one she'd had before but had refused to admit or consider since she'd lost them both in that clearing returned all too easily too her mind. If Neal was beyond hope they'd be okay. They wouldn't be perfect, they wouldn't be happy…but they'd survive it together. They'd help one another. But if she didn't get him back…then all of them would die in one way or another.

"Hey," Grumpy said, reaching out and placing his hand on her shoulder. "This ain't over yet, sister," he insisted, his grip tightening. "Everyone deserves a happy ending, there's no reason why you won't get yours one day."

"Some days I have a hard time thinking that's possible," she admitted, trying to hide her shock behind a failed smile. How was she supposed to believe it was possible when she seemed to be the only one working for it? When she was the only one hoping for it? Maybe that was why they kept "forgetting" about Rumple. He'd saved them all from Pan, true, but prior acts were numerous! They were used to him being the villain, not the hero. Maybe she was the only one that really wanted him back. "Hope right now is…fleeting."

"But not gone!" Grumpy insisted. "Love is hope, you told me that once. It was true then and it's true now! The witch only wins if she destroys our happiness, and we might not understand it but if Rumpelstiltskin is your happiness don't let her take it away! You'll regret it! Trust me…"

She swallowed as she looked Grumpy over, seeing for a brief moment that same dwarf she'd met at the tavern…seeing the girl she'd once been reflected in his words. Had she once been that insightful? Could she be again? Could she follow her own advice?

"How do you do it?" she asked. "How do you live with it day to day? Surrounded by people like Snow White and David? People who are happy?"

Grumpy downed the last of the liquid in the flask. Maybe that was the answer all on it's own. "I don't know that I live very well with it…otherwise I'd still be Dreamy. But it wasn't long after I met you that I met Snow and Charming…found something worth fighting for…I figured that if love was hope, then hope was love. On the days that I wish I could go back, that I wish I was more selfish than I was that day on the hill, I let hope drive everything I think and feel. 'Love' doesn't exactly come easy for a dwarf with a name like 'Grumpy' but if I can't be with her…then I can hope that she has the best life possible. Sometimes the only way we can love certain people is to believe in them, be hopeful for them. If that's the only way I can love Nova now…I'll take it."

Hope was love? Love, she believed then and still to this day, was allowing herself to feel hopeful about the future. Was the reverse true then? Was it possible that the act of hope was allowing herself to feel love? She had plenty of love for Rumple, and for Neal, but she wasn't quite sure she had much hope for their future. And she didn't know if she had love for Snow White or Prince Charming. She didn't hate them. She didn't exactly like them at the moment, but she felt something for them! Was it possible it was love? Could hope give way to love? She knew she was hopeful that they'd all come around! Or at least she had been until recently! That hope, that they would help her, care for her as she'd done for them, that was the only reason that they'd come back! The only reason she'd helped them hide the pregnancy! The only reason she'd stayed after that announcement despite Regina's terrible accusations…terrible truths.

Hope was love?

She honestly wasn't sure if she believed that it was right now. But she knew that she hoped Regina would get her wish. She hoped that Zelena would be contained. She hoped that Snow and David would be happy, that their child would be safe. She hoped Rapunzel and her family would be home one day. She hoped Grumpy would dream again. She hoped the realms would be at peace. She hoped Henry and Emma would know Neal again one day.

She hoped Rumple would be back by her side. She hoped they'd have a future beyond the bleak one that she feared the path they were all on would lead them.

She just didn't know if that hope was strong enough to sustain a love for those that had no hope for her or Rumple?

She didn't know if she could stay hopeful when she felt a little more of it was being stolen away every day.


	49. The Outsider

7 Months, 3 Weeks, 3 Days

Hope was the only thing that made her stay day after day. Hope was the only thing that let her think it would all go remarkably well and they would capture Zelena. That they'd get the dagger from her. That they'd free Rumple. That they'd return together and be able to rescue Neal and begin to make everything right again! Whether they intended it or not. But day after day, as the silence seemed to drag on and on and on, she felt her optimism dwindle down until it was practically nothing.

Practically nothing, but not completely gone. Roland kept her from giving in completely, He kept her from losing her mind. She'd never taken care of kids before, in fact she'd actively tried not to before she'd met Rumple, but Roland was easy enough to care for. She moved him into Neal's old room for the time being, just so she could make sure he was close. He woke her early, much to her dissatisfaction, but he was always happy to let her read to him until breakfast. Once he was fed he was content to play with toys or ride horses or run around the dining hall entertaining himself until after lunch when he finally fell asleep again. Each time she tucked him into a bed, or a couch depending on where he got sleepy, he always asked about his father. He always asked if he was coming back, when he'd come back, and surprisingly enough when he'd see Regina again.

Roland forced her to have hope. He forced her each time to offer a smile and say, "Soon enough! They'll be perfectly fine, you'll see. They'll both be back soon! And until then I'll be close by while you sleep, promise!"

Hope wasn't the only thing that Roland gave her. He gave her an excuse as well, to be as far away from Snow White and David as she could be. They were busy themselves of course, keeping close watch over Rapunzel's parents, but on the occasions they ran into each other they did try to speak with her. Snow asked her on several occasions if she would come up to her room and help her with dresses. Each time she simply explained she didn't think Roland would sit still long enough. David tried to grab her on a few occasions, to "explain", but time and time again she shook her head and took Roland somewhere else. It wasn't that she didn't want to speak with them, that she wanted to seem cold or unforgiving, she just felt like she needed a break! Space to clear her head! To think over her next step. Should she stay and hope for the best? Should she go and hope she could free Rumple on her own?

That was the question on her mind each morning as she followed Roland up into Regina's room. It wasn't abnormal, it happened at least once every day. Roland would burst into her quarters without fear and throw open a small chest across the room that she hadn't noticed before. It was filled with toys. Small wooden figures. Stuffed animals. Well crafted, simple gizmos. The way he happily sat down on her floor or by her fire like he did it all the time never ceased to amaze her. He was comfortable with the Evil Queen in a way that no one but Henry ever had been, and though her opinion of Regina was questionable at best, it was nice to know that she wasn't completely unreachable. And it was nice to know what she was working on…

That was the other thing Roland gave her, something she wouldn't have thought of if she hadn't kept creeping into the room. Magic. If she was going to do this on her own, if she had to find a way to separate Rumple and Neal, was magic the answer? Could the answers be in Regina's spell books? No, she didn't think she could create magic, she wasn't magical…but was there something she could use, like the dagger, some kind of magic she could use in order to save her family? It was an interesting concept, and day after day of lazily paging through spell books as Roland played she grew more and more curious about what she didn't understand. She was certain once that magic had been the answer, when she and Neal had first stepped into the castles library, she'd strayed away from it since the clearing, but now…maybe it was magic she needed. The right kind of magic!

"They're back!" David's cry made her nervously jump away from the book on the pedestal and look at the door, her heart racing at what David would say if he caught her looking through Regina's magic books. He didn't seem to notice what she was doing, he was too out of breath, and the moment he spotted the two of them he swallowed and motioned for them to follow. "They're back, they're approaching the castle now!"

"Daddy! Regina!" Roland yelled running from the room happily. Happy. She didn't feel happy. She felt scared. She felt like her heart was in her throat and her stomach was rolling so much she was going to be sick!

"Rumple?" she questioned, moving towards David, barely able to choke out the frightened word. "Zelena?"

David shook his head. "We can't tell if they're with them yet."

She and David rushed through the castle silently, following after the tiny echo of Roland's footsteps down staircase after staircase until they arrived in the large entrance space, where they saw the hem of Roland's cape disappear into the large room they'd been using for formal diners. The hall before them was muddy, boot tracks smeared across the pristine floors, in ugly brown and…red! Blood.

With a gasp she practically ran into the dinning room. They were there. All of them. Some were wandering around, picking fruit up and eating it as if it had been years since they'd last seen food. Robin, held Roland in his arms, his eyes closed as if savoring the feel of his son in his arms, happy to have the opportunity again. Others were seated at the table, looking worse for wear, like Regina and Tom Clark, Sneezy too. The blood was obviously coming from him, there was a deep gash on his right arm. Ruby was on the floor next to him, listening to him give instructions to dress it properly. He appeared to be the only one. Everyone seemed tired and disappointed, but no one else appeared bloody! But it wasn't hard to see that something was wrong.

"Ouch, careful!" Sneezy yelled at Ruby, disturbing the quiet and making both her and David jump.

"Sneezy!" David hollered spotting the dwarf.

"It's not bad!" he answered. "It looks worse than it actually is, I just moved it wrong and opened it up again. Shouldn't be too long before-ouch! I told you not too tight! Don't cut off circulation!" he yelled suddenly.

"I'm a waitress not a pharmacist, deal with it," Ruby growled before getting back to work, sounding downright irritated with the dwarf. Obviously this wasn't the first time he'd corrected her. The question was why was he hurt in the first place?

"Oh my-Sneezy!" she glanced behind her to see Snow White had finally been ushered into the room by Granny.

"It's not ba-"

"It's not bad, it looks worse than it actually is, and if the dwarf hadn't moved it wrong the bandage would've held without breaking," Regina snapped from the other side of the room. "See, it's not that hard to be a little less dramatic!"

"Speak for yourself!" she heard the dwarf mutter but she only shook her head, one overwhelming question screaming in her mind.

"What happened?" she demanded. "Rumple?!"

"He wasn't there," Regina informed her with that voice that betrayed her downright irritation and exhaustion with the situation. "Neither was Zelena," she growled suddenly, clearly the true reason behind her frustration.

"So what happened?" Snow demanded.

"We were ambushed," Robin explained looking his son over. "We knew there would be monkeys but we expected the witch would at least make an appearance."

"But she didn't?!" Granny asked.

"She never showed!" Regina spat, standing up and striding over to the windows, huddling herself together. "We waited her out sixteen days and in the end we were overwhelmed by flying apes! I've never seen such an act of cowardice in my life! We fought as best we could, tried to hold them off hoping she'd arrive if we kept them too long, but the second one of them got the sword in its grimy little paws they disappeared."

"You didn't kill any of them did you?" Snow gasped. "She turned Philip and Aurora into those creatures, without them we wouldn't even know that she was after our baby! Who knows how many more of them we know! You could be killing our friends!"

"Friends?!" Regina yelled, walking back over to her. "May I remind you that if they'd told us all that in the beginning we might have actually been able to understand the threat we were working with months ago!"

"That's not an excuse for them to end up dead!" Snow argued. "They had a terrible choice to make and in the end they made the right one! That is all I care about, tell me how many you destroyed?!"

"Only those that threatened our lives, you majesty," Robin Hood spoke up, letting Roland down to run over and take some fruit for himself, or maybe for Robin Hood. "We didn't take count, but I swear to you that we didn't harm the beasts without good reason."

"Yeah like my arm," Sneezy said from across the room, before taking a deep inhale and letting out an uncontrollable sneeze, followed by a predictable "ouch" and glare from Ruby when his arm twitched.

"You tripped running away and scratched your arm on a sharp rock, it's nothing to brag about!" Regina growled.

"Wouldn't have hurt you to heal it!"

"Next time you have a life threatening injury worth my energy I'll-" but then Roland was there, next to the stern faced woman, tugging on her sleeve and holding an apple out for her in his little hand. It was remarkable. She wouldn't have said that the Queen smiled, but she certainly eased as she looked at the boy. Her face softened, a small smirk touching one corner of her mouth, and her shoulders seemed to relax as she sat down in the closest chair, took the apple and pulled Roland into her lap.

Sometimes, in moments like this, she was astounded to remember that there was another side to Regina. Not evil, or tense, or even angry. She was a mother. And though she didn't know the story behind Robin's Marian, though the relationship between Regina and Robin was strained to see the least, and she thought that she wouldn't be so willing to give herself over to a small boy again so soon after losing Henry, she was every bit a doting mother as she stared into his small face looking almost as relieved to see him as Robin had been.

"We did what we could," Regina gently explained. "The sword is of no loss because it was a fake but that doesn't change that we came out of this empty handed. There were lots of monkeys…no witch."

"No Rumple," she whispered to herself, though in the large room it seemed to echo off walls.

"No, which is suspicious enough," Regina added. "If he's alive and she has him why didn't she send him after us? It certainly would have been a lot easier!"

"_If _he's alive?" she questioned. "What does that mean?"

"It means that the only one to actually 'see' Rumpelstiltskin since his so called resurrection is you! For all we know your plan failed all together or you didn't see what you saw, maybe Rumpelstiltskin isn't-"

"If he was dead I would feel it!" she snapped at Regina. "Trust me!"

"I don't think any of us will make the mistake of trusting you again!"

"Regina, enough," Snow White yelled. It was just as well. Though she'd opened her mouth to fight back, she really wasn't sure how to respond to such her vile accusations. No one else in this room, to her knowledge, had ever lost the person that they truly loved, how dare Regina or anyone else doubt what she felt! Even if tensions were running high!

She sneered at the Queen, her hands balled into fists, her jaw clenched so tight her teeth hurt, and to make it worse she could feel the others around the room staring at her. And Regina, but mostly at her. Waiting to see how she'd respond, what she'd say. But she wouldn't, she couldn't. Even if she came up with something it wouldn't have been something she wanted to say! It would be cruel. She didn't have to say anything, but she didn't have to listen to anything either. Maybe she was better off by herself.

"Belle don't!" Snow called after her, but the moment she felt a hand wrap around her arm she pulled it away. She was so tired of this. Tired of being the outcast among them, ignored, yelled at, scorned for the one and only mistake that she had made. Yes, she should have stopped Neal! She should have done more to stop him! But she was here wasn't she! She wanted to make amends, she wanted so badly to help them fix what had been done to her family! But at the moment she was too tired to convince them to let her. Especially if they were going to add "liar" to the list of sins they were attributing to her.

"Rumple is alive!" she declared to the room. "I might not know what happened to Neal, but I know, without a doubt, Rumple is alive! If he wasn't…I would feel it! And if you don't believe me, if you won't help me, or let me help you, then I see no reason to stay in this castle any longer!"

"Belle don't do something foolish!" David called as she left and she couldn't fight her tears anymore. Hadn't he heard? It was too late. She'd already done something foolish.


	50. A Friendly Reminder

7 Months, 3 Weeks, 3 Days

She didn't leave.

She knew that was what everyone expected her to do, but she didn't. With Roland returned she merely left him with his father there in the room and went back up to the one that she was occupying. Dark as it was she didn't sleep, she couldn't sleep. She paced. She talked to herself, to Neal, to Rumple. They stood on opposite sides of the argument she was going over again in her mind, each urging her to do what they believed was best without ever making her decision easy.

"They won't let me help them," she told the air. "I might be better on my own."

"You'd be in danger on your own," Rumple would argue. "I didn't do what I did for you to carelessly run off into the woods and risk your life!"

"You didn't risk your life for me to be treated like this-"

"I risked my life so that you would live. Anything is better than death, Sweetheart. I can't lose you again, not in anyway, I've told you all this before. Stay here; where it's safe. Live!"

"This isn't living!" she pointed out, "I can't ever be truly alive if I don't have you by my side."

"No one should live like this!" Neal would have argued against his father. "You're stronger than you seem, stronger than they think you are, and no one has the right to be treating you like a traitor, least of all Regina! If you think you should go then go! You deserve better, we all do."

"And if I leave?" she questioned. "Who's to say I'll accomplish anything and won't wind up dead?"

"At least you'll be living right up until the moment you die." Maybe she was going crazy…insane. But the sarcasm in his voice made her smirk, because it sounded exactly like Neal. The Rumple in her head she expected to sound like her Rumple but she hadn't realized just how well she'd known Neal until she could hear him talking back to her as if he was here, as if they were back to being brother and sister and teasing each other again. Oh, she missed that so much!

"Do you think I should go because you think I can do it or because I'm the only one still trying to get you back to your son?" she whispered into the air.

"Why can't it be both?" he questioned back. She had to wipe a tear from her eye because she could practically feel him reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. Neal had believed her. Neal had believed in her all along, just like Rumple did. She missed them. She missed not having to fight to be heard, to be respected, or even trusted. No matter what mistakes she made, big or small, they'd both loved her as she loved them. That was what she needed. Genuine love. Unchanging love. True, blind, good, faithful, love! She couldn't remember the last time she'd had that! Ruby's friendship, Granny's caring, Robins understanding…it just wasn't the same as having them in her life!

"Belle?" there was a knock at the door that made her jump, the images of Neal and Rumple faded quickly from her mind. Grumpy! No doubt here to check on her after she'd stormed out like that. She could have remained quiet, pretended to sleep and ignored his call but before she thought about it she was automatically at the door, opening it up for him…and a basket?

He looked strange carrying the thing and judging by the unhappy grimace on his face she was certain he knew it. Weren't special deliveries like this Ruby's job? "A man in the village knew of you," he told her right away, as if he was afraid she'd close the door if he didn't speak quickly. A man in the village?

"Who?" she questioned.

"Don't know," Grumpy answered. "We went back to the tavern one night during a shift break, just for old time's sake, we spoke of where we were from, who we were with, it was to try and draw the witch out, and an old man came up and said he knew you. He wanted to know how you were."

The tavern. An old man. That could have been anyone! She'd worked at that tavern just after Rumple had sent her away. She'd met lots of people in that little town, Dreamy was one of them, men propositioning her had been in no short supply either in the tavern, but she couldn't exactly think of anyone that would remember her enough to want to know how she was...not sincerely at least.

"What did you tell him?" she asked the dwarf.

"The truth," he answered. "You've been better." Yes, that was probably the nicest way to put it. "Anyway, before we left he gave me this," he motioned to the basket, "told me to give it to you the next time he saw you. If you're not going to stay, I may as well give it to you before you leave. I figured you might need the reminder right now and it's not like it'll look good on me."

She reached out and took the basket from him. She lifted the lid to peer inside but in the darkness of the hall she couldn't make out exactly what was inside. "What is it?" she asked.

"An old friend," Grumpy answered. "A reminder, of the girl who once convinced me anything was possible!"

"I don't understand-"

"Call me biased," the dwarf went on, "but Regina's an idiot! I trust you. I trusted you then and I trust you now. Maybe you just need something to remind you to trust yourself again!" She opened her mouth to ask him what he meant but he'd already shouldered an axe and went on his way.

She carried the basket back inside her room and shut the door behind her with a shake of her head. Cryptic advice had always been Rumple's strong point. And sometimes she's been able to decipher it, but…what on earth was Grumpy talking about? What was in this basket? She lit candles around her room to get a good look at what was inside before she finally opened it up. When she reached in and pulled out the first thing her fingers touched she nearly dropped it.

Tears sprang to her eyes suddenly and she covered her mouth with one of her hands in a useless attempt to keep her surprised cry to herself. She was lucky enough to crash into a chair when her knees gave out, and managed to keep breathing despite the fact that she felt as though someone had run a knife through her heart all over again.

It was a bodice.

Her bodice. Fine linin. Sturdy stitching. Light blue. Back in her hands as if by magic.

It was the librarian. The old man Grumpy had described. It had to be the librarian. She'd nearly forgotten the little time she'd spent working there, translating ancient texts, reading books! He and his wife, she'd left this dress with them when she'd left that mining town, when she'd gone after the Yaoguai. She'd left it there thinking she'd never see it again, despite the fact that the librarians wife had promised to keep it safe for her. The curse must have returned it to them. And when they heard of Grumpy…

She pushed herself up off of the chair and tore into the basket. White blouse. Skirt. One shoe. Two. Stockings. The entire thing! Everything she'd left behind with the exception of the necklace she'd arrived with was there. Everything he'd given her.

_"Did you love me when I found that blue dress?" _she could remember asking him once, what seemed like yesterday but also eons ago!

_"Most certainly, I just didn't know it," _he'd told her. _"I don't know if you realized how perfectly exquisite you looked in that plain dress….You were…" _he'd never been able to find the words describe what she'd looked like. The look on his face, the same one he had when he woke her up in the mornings, when he told her she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in the entire world…that look had said it all. Beautiful Belle. What would she give to be that Beautiful Belle again? His Beautiful Belle?

Trust herself? Trust herself! Was that what Grumpy hoped that this dress would help her to do? How could she trust herself when the last time she'd trusted herself, trusted her desires, it had ended so poorly?! She couldn't remember right from wrong anymore! How could she trust her own advice when it was that advice, her belief's that had possibly cost her family their life?

Confidence. That was something that had always made her who she was, who he loved. But she wasn't sure she was capable of it. She couldn't even decide with certainty if she should stay or if she should go! She didn't have any idea what the right answer was! How could she have confidence in that?! How could she have confidence, be confident, when it was so obvious that those that were around her didn't believe she could do anything right besides sew pretty dresses!

She picked the bodice up again and held it close to her chest as she sat down on her bed and-

There was something else. Something that moved against the basket as she had. Something more. Something…heavier. With a deep breath and a nervous swallow she set the bodice aside and reached back inside the basket, feeling blindly until her fingers stumbled upon something familiar. A book. _La Belle et La Bete. _

The dress had been overwhelming, the book was…what was beyond overwhelming? Numbing? Sobering? Shocking? Like someone had just poured a bucket of cold water over her head? All of the above. She loved this book. She loved when she was with her father. She'd been ecstatic when she'd found it in her library within his castle, she and Rumple had talked about her love of it frequently enough. When he'd let her go she'd left it behind and never cared to read it again, but it had been there in the librarian's shop. She'd never read it there, but she found herself picking it up often enough, wandering around with it, or maybe just letting the story within its pages haunt her. He'd picked up on it after a while, found it in the same room as her often enough and thought she just couldn't stop reading it. "If you like it all that much it's yours!"

"No, no I couldn't!" she'd insisted.

"Don't be silly, of course you can! All the work you do for me?! I owe you far more than a book!"

She considered it. Really thought it over but in the end…the thought of taking it back to the tavern with her…reading it again… "No," she'd whispered pressing it back into his wrinkled hands, hoping that he couldn't hear the teary lump in her throat. "I can't," she'd said before leaving for the day. And she hadn't read it since she found a copy of it in his home.

That wonderful man. He hadn't forgotten about that! He'd never questioned her, like the people at the tavern, or spoke about her behind her back like the others in the town had, and yet somehow he'd understood just how important the little she'd had with her had been! How important the book had been.

Rumple had told her, later, after she'd found the story in his house that he thought the story was theirs. He was the beast. She was…the hero. She'd denied it. Avidly. To the point that it became like their own private joke, "the beauty and the beast!" But the truth was she'd always preferred their own story to this one. It had been…happier? More romantic? Truer? Better? More in every single way?

Timidly she reached out and allowed herself to do what she'd never let herself do in the librarians shop and opened the book. She pulled the pages back to the opening paragraph and laid back on her bed, reading in the dull light because she'd gone over it so many times she practically had the book memorized! She cried as she read. Line after line page after page, she didn't do anything to stop them. Just let the tears gather in the corner of her eyes roll over her ears, through her hair, and onto the blankets beneath her.

He thought she was like this, he thought that she was this Belle. Patient. Kind. Understanding. Persistent. Brave. Heroic. Maybe she had been like that once. There was a time that she probably would have used words like that to describe herself but she certainly hadn't felt or been like any of those recently…at least not in a good way. Not since Neal had…died?

When she finally finished the tale it was morning. Early enough that the castle was quiet and the sky was more darkness than light, but when morning came she laid the book over her chest and ran her fingers through dark and damp hair.

This was how he thought of her, how he knew her to be. Could she ever be like this again? Could she ever be this person? Stay or go? What would Belle do? If it was months ago and he was off in Neverland or New York City? What would she have done then? Left? Or worked with the others without promise of help for herself? She knew the answer. She knew it and she didn't like it because while it was the right thing to do, the gospel she'd always preached and guided him by since she'd known him, she just wasn't sure she had the strength to do the right thing or try to be a hero anymore!

She jumped when the door to her room slammed open. She didn't have time to be in shock or say anything, it took Ruby all of a second to locate her there on the bed and when she did she held a dark cloak out for her.

"Come with me. I want to take you somewhere."


	51. The House That Broke The Beauty

7 Months, 3 Weeks, 4 Days

"Where are we going?"

"You'll find out," Ruby assured her. "Can you ride in that?"

She glanced down at the green gown she'd made for herself, the one she'd taken to wearing recently and nodded. If they were riding somewhere it would be fine, she needed to change anyway, she may as well spare herself a new dress.

Ruby grabbed her hand and pulled her through the castle, sticking closely to the walls, looking around corners, guiding her down into the stables where she handed her a saddle and a bridle. "But I don't understand-"

"Quickly," Ruby encouraged, "before David finds us. He won't like it!"

She didn't understand what she was doing, where she wanted to go, but she trusted Ruby, and had a spiteful, hateful thought that if David wouldn't like it then she wanted to do just that, and saddled her horse. The pair of them were galloping away from the castle just as the sun began to come up, by the time the sky went from pink to blue she recognized the path they were on, and by the time they arrived she wasn't surprised where they'd ended up. All the times she'd gone from the castle to the little house she'd shared with Neal…she knew the path by heart.

"Why are we here?" she asked as the pair of them stepped inside the little protective circle that she hadn't seen since she and Neal had left months ago. Her heart hurt just looking at it. The dress, the book, the house…was the world itself trying to wear her down?

"We're here for you!" Ruby said swinging down from her horse. "You want to go inside?"

Go inside? His home? Hers? Theirs? She wasn't sure, but whether or not she was sure didn't matter. Her body moved as if it made up it's mind for her. She moved off the horse and step by step the house came closer and closer until she was at the front door. With a nervous swallow she pushed it open. It felt like she would have expected a haunted house to. Dark. Gloomy. Stale. She shivered when she stepped back inside the tiny rooms. It smelled musty. Like burned firewood. And Neal.

A tomb. A memorial. That was what it felt like now. Before it had been warm and friendly. It had been home but now, after being shut up for months while they were away it just felt cold and empty, lifeless. She loved this house, just as much as she loved Bae, seeing it like this, feeling goose bumps raise over her arms, she didn't want to think of it that way! It shouldn't be like this, it shouldn't! Or maybe she just shouldn't be here.

"Why did you bring me here?" she asked Ruby again, tucking a stray hair behind her ear as she faced the girl.

"You needed a break, to see it," she answered in a hushed voice looking around with her, though she suspected she was looking for hidden enemies rather than imagining what the house had been as she had. "When you got back David sent me out here to collect your stuff."

"You did that?!" she questioned. She'd wondered how her dresses had ended up in that room, in the closet. Well, she would have wondered if she was capable of feeling something like that in the aftermath. It had all just appeared one night when she got back from fitting Snow White and she'd been working so hard to keep herself busy she didn't bother to ask herself. After all, in the back of her mind, she supposed she always suspected it was something like that. She just didn't know it had been Ruby.

"Yeah," the girl admitted moving around a pair of chairs in the living room. "He wasn't sure you could handle doing it on your own and frankly I wasn't either at first but…I was wrong. You can handle it. You can do anything and I should have brought you out here months ago when you first got back despite what David said or thought. Not to live!" she added suddenly, as if afraid she'd misinterpret her words. "I think we both know that you can't live here with the witch on the loose but you needed to see it."

"Why?" she asked.

Ruby winced and offered the shy nervous smile that told her she didn't want to have to say the words that she was going to say. "Closure," she suggested softly. She was right, she didn't like that word.

"No," she insisted trying to move around her only to be blocked at the door by Ruby. "No, Neal's, Neal's not…he's not…" but her throat seemed to close before she could say the word.

"You can't even say it with certainty, can you?" Tears fell from her eyes onto her cheeks as she felt her stubborn straight spine collapse. She was so tired of crying. Of convincing herself that everything was alright and she could fight it off. Hell, if she could use half the energy she did crying on finding Rumple and Zelena, the witch might have been taken care of by now. Ruby sighed suddenly and reached forward to hug her and she did her best to control her body to keep calm and not let the raw pain that the events of the last twenty-four hours had caused her, but she just couldn't. Her chest heaved, gasping for breath as her fingers tightened around her friend.

"Belle…" Ruby whispered pulling away and taking her hands. The girl gently steered her back into the chair that she had always used when she sewed. Her chair or Rumple's, she wasn't sure anymore. Maybe that was because it belonged to both of them. "I'm so sorry, I made a terrible mistake," Ruby explained holding her hands. "I just didn't see it until last night.

"I heard what you said to me, months ago, when you first got back, but I don't think I really understood it or gave you what you were asking for. All this time I was trying to make you feel better, thinking that if I could distract you it would fix things…but the thing is it won't. Neal, Pan, Rumpelstiltskin, Zelena, and the dagger…you have every right to be feeling what you're feeling. And more importantly you deserve to feel what you need to feel and not have it covered up downplayed. You deserve to have someone acknowledge that your situation _really_ sucks!"

She snorted and reached up to wipe a tear from her eyes as she nodded. "The others are afraid," Ruby went on, "just like you, they've lost loved ones but not like you have. They don't have to wake up every morning not knowing that the ones they love are safe or alive. They have that assurance with Henry and Emma...you don't." She knew that, she didn't need the reminder…but it was nice to hear someone else thought so too for once. But her question still remained unanswered.

"Why am I here?" she asked again. "Why did you do this?"

"Because you are an adult. You are a strong capable woman that has somehow survived hell and I think that qualifies you to make your own decisions and I didn't think you could do that in the castle. You deserve to feel what you need to feel and I hoped this place might help. If you need to get angry be angry. If you need to have hope be hopeful. If you really feel like you need to leave, truly want to go off on your own, then...I won't stop you. There's enough food and water with the horses for you to hide out for a few days and if they ask me to locate you, I won't do it, neither will Granny, and I have Robin's word he won't track you down either." She felt her jaw drop. Ruby had gone to Granny and Robin too! They'd promised to go along with her?! "You deserve to have a choice and not have it taken from you," Ruby muttered looking at her stunned face. "You deserve your freedom."

She stared at her friend, the words almost unbelievable. She'd always felt like a prisoner in that castle. From the moment Neal insisted they stay their first night there to the moment she'd gone back to tell everyone about Rumple. But now…now she was free, truly free! Ruby hadn't just brought her out here to make it hurt but to help her get away! She could leave! She didn't have to plot or plan or figure out how to escape. If she wanted to go then she could go. No one would stop her! But…

She glanced to the open door and out the window to the saddle bags on Ruby's horse that she hadn't noticed before. It would be so simple! But would it? Would she be any better on her own than she was with the others? And if she couldn't…could she go back now? Ruby had brought her out here so she could leave of her own free will, but the problem was that if she decided not to go then she'd have no other choice but to return to that castle, also of her own free will. And what would she be going back to? Ruby understood but the others?! What would they think if she left? If they woke up to discover she'd gone? If they realized that Ruby and the others had helped her?

She was finally at the cross roads…she just wished she knew which direction to go.

"Do you think I should leave?" she asked.

Ruby opened her mouth, but then closed it right away and looked away. It took a few heartbeats, but finally the girl sighed. "I think you deserve to make a decision based on what's best for you and not what anyone else thinks!" Ruby insisted sadly. "Whether the rest of us like it or not." Ruby wouldn't like it. She could see it in her eyes and hear it in her tone. If she left Ruby, and probably Granny as well, would be upset. She'd be willing to bet Grumpy and Robin would be too. Regina wouldn't care. Snow White, in all fairness, probably would care. And David…

"Does David want me to stay?" she asked Ruby. "No lies, or sweet words. The truth. Would David be upset if I left? Would he be angry?"

Ruby gave a small nod, an acknowledgement that she understood the question then stood up. "David…" she pondered moving over to the little bench by the window across from her to sit. "David cares. About everyone. I think it's one of his few flaws, caring too much. It would seem like a good problem to have but the thing is, as you already know, he doesn't always know how to take care of the people he cares about and makes rash, harsh decisions.

"He's scared. Snow told me. What he left out of Rapunzel's story, why he was out by that tower to begin with. He was looking for the night root, what Rapunzel took, he wanted it to cure his own fears. They gave up their first child on a wing and a prayer that they'd see her in twenty-eight years and that in those missing twenty-eight years she'd be treated like the princess she was born to be only to discover her upbringing was less than ideal. Now Zelena wants the second child and to be honest I think he's scared that history will repeat itself again. That they'll loose this one, too."

"I'm not unsympathetic to their problems," she insisted. "It's a terrible thing they've been through, the threats the witch are making is terrible, but…"

"It's hard to be sympathetic toward those that don't show sympathy for you?" Ruby assumed. She was right. Almost. She wouldn't say it was sympathy she lacked for them…just…

"It's difficult to help those who won't help others, who are only interested in helping themselves," she corrected. Helping those who couldn't help themselves, that always came easy to her. But this?! This was hard! Especially when it always seemed like the two people unwilling to help her now had always been willing to help everyone else in the past!

"It's…it's not that they aren't thinking about you or Rumple or even Neal, they just…I think they're so scared they're having trouble thinking straight, they're too blinded by fear to really see anything else. To be honest I think that's what we're there for."

Purpose? There was purpose to their being in the castle? This was the first she was hearing of it. "What do you mean?" she questioned eagerly. Was there any truth to what she was saying? Or was she just trying to convince her not to leave?

"They need us," Ruby answered. "To stay focused and grounded. To not get swept up in what might happen but keep moving forward and think about what can happen." Suddenly Ruby shook her head, looking almost confused. "I don't even know if that makes sense," she muttered. "But I can't think of any other way to say it."

Belle looked around the cool empty house. It made sense. To her at least. There were only a few people in the world that might be able to make sense of it but she was one of them. And being in this house…it only made more sense to her than she knew.

"'What might happen' and 'what can happen'," she muttered under her breath, running her fingers along the table her sewing machine had once sat, "that's all Neal and I ever seemed to think about in this place." Ruby was quiet as she glanced over to the table they'd had all their evening meals on, the place they'd talked and planned, the bench outside that she'd cried on, the fire he'd made for her so that she could cook for them. "We were so worried," she told Ruby, "that if we didn't do something no one else would. We were convinced that if we worked hard enough, believed hard enough then we'd be able to change things. Bring Rumple back. Get Neal back to Henry and Emma."

"Sounds like you did a lot of dreaming here," Ruby commented.

"A lot of planning," she corrected. "If no one else was going to help us we'd help ourselves."

"Sounds kinda lonely," the girl added.

She glanced over at her. She knew the point she wanted to make, the one she was trying to make, but it just wasn't possible. "No. No, it wasn't like that. We were happy here together…a family." And it wasn't lonely…they never felt lonely they just felt like…like…like they were together against the world. They were the only two people in the world they could trust and talk to. They felt like they were it. It wasn't the house that had made them feel lonely…it was the rest of the world.

"That sounds cozy then," Ruby amended.

She wiped a few more tears from under her eyes and took a deep breath as she nodded and looked around her home. "Yes," she choked. "Yes it was."

"Do you think you can find that again? Somewhere else? On your own?"

She glanced over at her friend, waiting eagerly for an answer that she wished she could give easily. It was asked with genuine curiosity, as if Ruby had excepted that she was about to leave never to be seen again and just wanted to know if she'd be alright, but her question felt…it felt deeper. Find a cozy home on her own? Wasn't that the ultimate question?

Leave or stay. The time had come to answer. No strings. No problems. No escapes. Ruby had made sure of that! Either she would leave of her own free will or she would return to the castle of her own free will. No one would decide her fate but her. It just took a word. So why couldn't she come up with it? What was the brave thing to do?

"Can I…can I have a minute?" she asked Ruby swallowing back her tears. "Alone? With…just alone?" she questioned. Her friend looked her over nervously and she could see all too easily that she thought she might leave out the back the second her back was turned, but couldn't argue because that was exactly what she'd brought her out here to do. She hated making Ruby feel uncertain, but she wasn't confident in the choice she had to make to give her any kind of reassurance.

"Yeah," Ruby finally nodded. "When you are ready I'll be outside and if you want to…if you want to talk about it we'll talk. If not...if not, I'll understand," she finished, sounding more like she was reminding herself that she was supposed to understand rather than reminding her of the fact. Without another word Ruby stood up, left the house and closed the door behind her, the true meaning behind her words clear.

She'd understand. Really? She'd understand if she left! Would the others? Some might. Others wouldn't. But what about the two that mattered most in her mind. If she left would Neal understand? Would Rumple?

She stood up and moved around the little place, ran her fingers tenderly over the dusty wood, shook her head at the cobwebs forming in the corners, smiled when she saw how hastily made the bed that Neal had left behind was. It was normal, natural, she'd done it a million times when they lived here, for her to reach out, remove the pillow he'd used straighten the blankets, and replace the pillow, only this time she didn't. She cradled the feather filled object to her chest when she was done and sat down on her bed as she put her nose to it and inhaled.

Milah was faint, barely there anymore.

Rumple's scent was stronger.

But mostly it just smelled like Neal.

She sniffled as she pulled it closer to her and rested her chin there, looking the room over. Lonely? It hadn't been before. It had been good and warm and homey. It had been all she'd had to hold onto, but now…

The answer was no. Rumple wouldn't understand if she left. She wouldn't want her to leave to put herself in danger. But Neal…

Neal would want her to be happy. He'd want her to be respected and treated fairly. He'd want her to be loved. Yes, he'd understand if she left, but only if leaving was what she had to do to get her happiness.

So where did that leave her? Yes? No? Leave? Stay? Ruby would understand, Rumple wouldn't, Neal would…would she? If she left would she understand? If she left or stayed, which would she regret more? What would Belle do? The Belle in her story. The Belle he believed she was. Kind. Patient. Understanding. Heroic. That was easy enough to answer. That Belle would stay. That Belle had stayed. In the face of all adversity she'd remained with the beast through the good and the bad.

She could do that. She could go back. She could face more abuse from Regina, more isolation from the royal family, but she could also fight back. Wasn't that how she'd survived the early days with her own beast? Fighting back. Being bold. Being daring. Not taking 'no' for an answer. Wasn't that why she'd stood out to him, impressed him? Wasn't that what made him fall in love with her? Her bravery. She doubted if she was ever the Belle in her story but she knew the Belle she was, before all this, before Zelena. Could she be that person again? His Belle? Beautiful Belle? Sweetheart? Darling?

Could she be that person again if she left? Could she save him on her own? Could she rescue Rumple and Bae? Maybe. Possibly. But could she live with herself if she managed to help them and one day learned that Zelena had succeeded in taking David and Snow's child? Could she live with herself if months from now she discovered they'd succeeded in rescuing their child but Neal or Rumple had suffered because she wasn't there to remind them that their happiness wasn't the only happiness at stake?

Isolation or guilt.

She already had too much of the latter. The former…

She could do it. She didn't want to. It wasn't going to be easy. It wasn't going to be pleasant. But she could do it. If it meant getting her Rumple back at the very least she could do it. If it meant it was already too late and neither father or son could be spared? Then at least she would know that she'd done the right thing. She and Neal had come up here because they felt like they were the only two people in the world that cared for their cause. She still felt like the only one that cared for her cause, but she didn't want it to be the only cause she cared about. She didn't want to commit the same crime that they had. As much as it killed her, if she wanted to survive this, if she wanted to be the Belle she had been before again, it had to start with heroic actions, with sacrifice.

She had to go back. She had to help them even if they had no interest in helping her. She had to keep them focused, as Ruby had said, if only to ensure that they did everything with their eyes wide open. Maybe then she could keep others from making the same mistakes she and Neal had made.

Her resolve wavering, her mind growing more and more hopelessly determined by the second she buried her nose in the pillow again, located their scents and breathed it in. Going back promised her nothing. But, maybe, if she went back, she'd find the person that once wore that blue dress again. The woman he'd expect to find if she was successful-they. If they were successful.

If they were going to get anywhere they had to be a group again, one goal, one plan, one mind. If they refused to think of it that way, then she'd do it herself. And if it all failed in the end? Then at least she could walk away knowing that she'd done everything she could do.

She was going back. Of her own free will. At least that was better than she'd been.


	52. Who She Was, Is, and Will Be Again

7 Months, 3 Weeks, 4 Days

"Belle!" Ruby called from outside. If she was going, she was going. It may as well be sooner rather than later.

"I'm coming!" she called back, wiping her eyes and standing up. Carefully she placed the pillow back on the bed, neatly, as it should have been and smiled down at her work. Perfect. Just as it should be. "This isn't good-bye," she promised the empty air. "I'm not giving up. I'll do everything in my power to bring you back here. Both of you! I promise." She wiped her eyes again, sniffled and took a deep breath, preparing herself to go when-

"Belle, now!" Ruby screamed impatiently. The small smile that had been growing on her face vanished when she heard the tone. Ruby was screaming for her. Not yelling. Her stomach turned. Something was wrong.

She nearly ran out of the house, to the front yard to find Ruby. Her eyes widened at what she saw. Ruby. Trapped. The Wicked Witch held her just outside the protected circle. Rumple's dagger to her throat. She would have thought she was in a dream if it wasn't for the fact that not even she could dream up something so terrible!

"At last," Zelena smiled, "we can talk! Woman to woman. You can go," she informed Ruby almost kindly, giving her a small shove back into the circle and making her stumble. Ruby fell face down into the grass and she quickly ran toward her, helping her off the ground.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "Watch the monkey's." Monkeys. Of course. Zelena was a coward she never traveled alone. Belle cast her eyes into the trees behind Zelena and up into the canopy. One. Two. Three. She turned as she saw movement behind her and a horse neighed nervously, pulling on it's lead to get free. A monkey had landed on the roof. Four. Still Zelena stayed outside the protective circle. Did that mean that animals could come into the circle but Zelena couldn't?

"What are you doing here?" she asked the green-skinned woman who was watching her with interested eyes. "What do you want?"

"Take a deep breath, Sweetie," the witch cooed, looking at her with a innocent questioning eyes, as if she was genuinely over reacting to her presence. "Wouldn't want to wrinkle that pretty little face of yours. Not that the Dark One would recognize it if he saw it. Sadly his mind is a bit scrambled at the moment."

"What are you doing here?! she demanded, fighting the small flare of happiness that her taunt had given her. Regina was wrong. Rumple was still alive!

"Looking for you, of course!"

"To kill me?" she questioned.

Zelena rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't be so dramatic," she drawled. "I've had a change of heart about that. Or a change of mind, I guess you could say."

"What does that mean?"

Zelena smiled sweetly at her, her gaze was unnerving. "I'll let you put that one together on your own. After all you were smart enough to figure out the vault on your…oh, I forgot. You weren't. Hefty price on that lack of intelligence. Oh…sorry dear, I didn't mean to drudge up the past-"

"Then what did you intend?" she demanded, tired of her games.

"Just to have a simple conversation."

"Then have it!" she snapped. "What do you want with me?"

Zelena glared at her. She looked her over, her eyes sweeping over her small frame from head to toe before sneering as if there was something funny about her that only she was privy to. "What does he see in you?" she finally questioned with insulting curiosity. "What perfect little trait do you possess that makes him jump to your will? He's too smart to fall for nothing but long eyelashes and rosy cheeks."

"Why don't you ask him yourself?"

"Well because I'm here!" Zelena piqued throwing her arms out. "Asking you! What do you have that all the others didn't have?" Others. Milah, Cora, and...no. Zelena wasn't...was she? Did it matter in the end? He'd chosen her and the reasons he'd fallen in love with her had nothing to do with long eyelashes and rosy cheeks.

"That's private!" she stated through clenched teeth. She wasn't about to give the intimate details of their relationship to Zelena, especially not details that they only uncovered to one another in the privacy of their own home! Their shop! And certainly not what they shared in their bed!

"Nothing is private anymore, dear…of course, if you insist on me asking him I suppose I always could..." Zelena held the dagger up and cast it a sly glance, one that made her skin crawl. "But I doubt very much you want it to come to something like that."

"Don't hurt him!" she insisted, eyeing the dagger, it's distance, Zelena's grip. How hard would it be to grab it from her hand?!

"Then answer the question!" the witch suddenly screamed at her, taking an impatient step toward her…a step into the circle. Her blood chilled as she tried not to register her shock on her face. Zelena could get in. Which could only mean two things. Either Zelena meant her no harm, which she seriously doubted given her bulging eyes, or her suspicion that the house and castle were no longer safe had been correct all along. The barriers were gone. Even if she could take the dagger, she could kill her with a wave of her hand before she could use it. Which meant the only thing she could really count on to save herself and Ruby, was to answer her questions and hope she'd leave.

"He was always stubborn, always ignorant to the feelings of everyone else around him," Zelena snapped, her tirade suggesting something between the two of them but she wasn't sure if she was ready to pin the same title on them as she had to Cora. Something had happened, she just wasn't sure what. "So how is it someone like you can render the Dark One speechless with so little effort!"

"We're good for each other," she explained quickly, hoping it would ease the unpredictable woman but leaving a sour taste in her mouth.

Zelena only snorted as she looked her over with a wrinkled disgusted nose. "That's a pathetic and cliché answer. One steeped in myth and fairy tales-"

"It's the only one I have to offer you," she insisted. "We're good for each other. We understand each other, who we are. We're closer than most people ever will be and closer than anyone, friends or family, will ever be to either of us. No one else sees us the way we do."

"And what, exactly, is it you see in each other?" No. She couldn't answer that. She wouldn't, that was personal. Too personal! "What do you see?!" Zelena asked taking another unstable step toward her and brandishing the dagger as if it had the power to command her and not Rumpelstiltskin.

She stepped back, pressured by the woman who was acting more like a woman scorned than a wicked witch. She hated to answer her, to give it away, but Rumple needed her alive and she hated what might happen if she had to ask Rumple, how damaging it would be if she forced him to answer her questions!

"He's good," she stated angrily. "He's loyal and misunderstood by everybody including himself! No matter what you make him say, no matter what you make him do, he doesn't want to say or do it."

"Well of course not. If he did I wouldn't need this now would I?"

"What do you want with him?" she asked.

"Same thing I want with that baby and my sister's heart-"

"And David's sword?"

Zelena smiled. "If I had less than half a brain I might admit to that," she smiled, "and accidentally reveal my grand plan to you without every stopping to think about what I was doing. But I'm smarter than that, I've learned from the mistakes of others past failures! Confident as I am in my plan I'm not so stupid as to reveal it to just anyone, least of all some starry-eyed love sick girl…" she drawled looking her over in a way that made her want to step forward and claw at her. She'd only felt an irrational reaction like that once in her life before, the time he'd told her that he'd considered having a child with Cora. No. This conversation. The way she looked at her. It couldn't be jealousy…could it?!

"Belle move!" Ruby suddenly yelled. Too many things happened at once. Ruby pulled a dagger out of her boot. She expertly flipped the blade over in her hand, then tossed it. She took a step away from the witch at it soared toward her head…and stopped. It hung there in mid-air inches from her face, stopped by an unseen force as Zelena controlled it with her hand in the air. With the smallest of gestures, the loss of tension in her hand, the dagger dropped to the grass with a pathetic thud. And without any thought she waved her hand at Ruby and sent her flying across the lawn.

"Nice try, dear," the witch smiled back at Ruby. "Next time you or anyone tries that it'll end up in your grandmother's skull!" she threatened.

"You're lucky it's not a full moon!" Ruby growled, struggling for breath.

"Heel, girl," Zelena sneered. "There's no need for that! I'll be on my way, just passing through after all. I've got much more important things to do with my time than dispatch the two of you. And besides…I'll be seeing you soon enough," she commented glancing back at her with a sweet smile that made her hands flex into fists. "Come lovelies, we've got somewhere to be," she muttered, walking out of the circle. Her monkey's followed her. The one on the roof glided down to her and another one in the trees soared down to her, dropping a broomstick into her outstretched hands.

"This won't work!" she yelled after her. She couldn't let her leave! Not like that. She couldn't let her have the last word, let her threaten everyone she knew and everyone she loved, insult her and the love she felt for her prisoner. She couldn't let it be that easy. "Whatever you're planning, whatever you're trying to do…it'll fail! You can't do this and expect to walk away unscathed."

"I think you'll find, that thanks to you and the Dark One's son, I can!" she smiled back at her, looking amused at her comments. "I've got him in the place where you're true love can't reach him."

"I refused to believe that," she insisted. "You won't win. You won't!"

The witch looked at her and smiled again, then began marching up the hill small incline, across the protection line, menacing step after step. "Let's go over this again, shall we? I have the Dark One's dagger," she growled. "I have his son, his castle, and beyond that there is no one powerful enough to stop me. Unless of course you want to try though we both know how that will end. Haven't you figured it out yet, dear? I could kill you now, with little effort, but death would be too easy and there are no other ways to make the Dark One bend. You, dear girl are my insurance. Anyone tries to stand in my way and I'll send the Dark One to kill you himself, then I'll excise that troublesome son of his and leave him to know that it was because of him that the two people he cared most about in the entire world died because of him.

"I might not know him as well as you do but I don't exactly see him taking too well to that. Do you?" She clenched her jaw together, kept her eyes on Zelena's and made sure that her hands stayed by her sides. She used every ounce of focus that she had into keeping her mouth shut and not rising to Zelena's level, not responding. She wouldn't cower behind a threat like that. She wouldn't fear something so cruel. And she certainly wouldn't lower herself to Zelena's hallow threats…especially when she'd just made an important mistake.

"I'll pass my greetings on to Rumpelstiltskin for you. Not that I'd expect him to reply…he doesn't even seem to know who he is at the moment," the woman sneered, before kicking off from the ground and flying away on her broom, leaving her feeling like the woman she'd once been months ago.


	53. A Change in Her

7 Months, 3 Weeks, 4 Days

She felt…great! Well, no, not great exactly, not in the traditional sense. But she certainly felt better than she had in…months! Since before Rumple had died, certainly! She hadn't done anything magnificent. She hadn't destroyed the witch, she haven't saved Rumple or rescued Neal, but she felt as though she'd gotten farther in this single conversation than the others had in months! Zelena thought she was smarter than she was, her anger and her confidence were her downfall! She thought she was being clever, but when she wasn't focused on being secretive and let her emotions get the better of her she slipped up! And now that she did there was only one thing they had to do.

"Ruby!" she cried running forward to help her to her feet again. "Are you alright?" she asked looking her over.

She nodded and took a few deep breaths, holding her hand to her side. "Few cracked ribs," she huffed. "They'll heal."

Cracked ribs. That couldn't be good. How long would it take them to heal? She didn't know if the healing was one of Ruby's "special" traits or if she was just being strong, but either way, unless her bones were going to snap back into place right this second they couldn't wait! They had to go now! Zelena was in the area and the others had to hear what she had to say immediately!

"Can you ride?" she asked Ruby.

"Yeah," she breathed. "Yeah I'll push through."

She nodded and wrapped an arm around Ruby to help her back to their horses, which had remained remarkably tied to the post the entire time. "We have to go back," she explained getting Ruby set. "We have to tell the others, now!"

"Wait," Ruby muttered, grabbing her arm as she moved her horses reins over her head and placed them in her hands for her. "'We'?" Ruby questioned with a timid smile. "You're staying? For good? Or…"

"She has my Rumple, everyone seems to keep forgetting that, but…there are times I've forgotten she's Regina's sister and that she wants Snow's baby. The only thing that fixes any of this is if we start worrying about everyone else's problems as much as we worry about our own. And if the only way to do that is for someone to make the sacrifice first…then so be it!"

She moved to collect her own horse but Ruby caught her hand before she could get too far away. "I knew you were in there somewhere, I hoped…" but words seemed to escape her as she stared a happy smile on her face and something glistening in her eyes. Hope was love, Ruby's way of showing love. She understood. "Welcome back," Ruby finally muttered.

She felt herself blush at the greeting. It wasn't particularly a happy occasion, nothing was fixed or solved, frankly if she wanted to she could still run off and try to figure it out on her own…only she couldn't. Not anymore. Regina could complain about her past sins all she wanted, Snow and David could focus on their child, but so long as they all united under a common goal that worked out for them, she could handle it. Running away, doing things on her own. It was the wrong thing to do. She just had to remember that. She just had to keep her past at bay and focus on her future, their future. She had to focus on who she wanted to be. Then she might stand a chance against the Queens traitorous accusations!

"Just…" she swallowed, knowing what she was going back to, what awaited her the moment she stepped back inside the castle. It was very likely there would be more tears between here and there, but so long as they all got "there", it would be worth it! "Just bring me back here, if I ever need reminding again…please?"

"Promise," Ruby vowed. After a final squeeze her sense of immediacy returned. There was no time to lose. They had to go.

"Come on," she stated swinging herself back up into the saddle. "We need to go!" She lost sight of the monkey's and the witch as they traveled through the woods under the trees cover. They went carefully at first, for Ruby's sake but after a few moments, when she stopped to assess their progress Ruby trotted up next to her.

"We can go, fast as possible, before it's too late." She nodded and didn't waste time, they kicked their horse's bellies and flew recklessly through the forest. Trees whipped by her, stray branches scratched her face, her head hurt from the violent motions the horses body put her through, she hadn't galloped like this since the day she'd returned to them, thinking the monkeys were chasing after her, it felt like history was repeating itself over again, but this time, instead of terrible news, the words she and Ruby carried with her were good, useful maybe more if they worked fast enough.

"Come on," she grabbed Ruby's hand the minute they were back in the stables, the horses could wait, the others couldn't! "They'll be at breakfast." This morning Ruby had pulled her through the halls, quietly. Now she pulled Ruby, and she didn't care how loud she was. "She's in the forest!" she yelled bursting into the room they used for breakfast. Every eye turned on the pair of them, royals, thieves, dwarves, they all stared at her. "She's living in Rumple's castle, she told me herself!"

"You were out in the woods alone?!" David questioned getting up to look at them.

"We weren't alone, Zelena was there!"

"She's telling the truth, we were out by Rumpelstiltskin's old house," Ruby added.

"She took off but you might still be able to catch her if-" the room seemed to move as everyone realized exactly what she was saying.

"I'll get the guards!" David declared.

"I'll arm my men!" Robin stated.

"Get Roland somewhere safe," Regina stated handing the boy over to Snow.

"I have to go keep my parents calm," Rapunzel stated leaving the room.

"I'll get the castle locked down."

"Snow take this!" David said pushing his sword into his wives hands, "I'll worry about the castle get somewhere safe! She's close by I want that witch caught, now!"

They locked themselves in that tower, closed the windows, sealed the doors tight, closed the curtains, and waited. At the sound of hoof beats and yells she risked a glance out the window. Dozens of men dressed in black and mounted on horses were swarming into the forest on her word and if felt…right!

Of course, she wanted to go with them, wanted to fight too, but she knew there was nothing that she could do. And that was okay. Some people had brains others used their brawn. Ariel had taught her that she had the brains, she couldn't wield magic, didn't know how to use a sword, or a bow and arrow, she couldn't throw a knife like Ruby, but she could talk. She could read! She'd been ignoring the gifts that she had, what she knew she could do ever since she got back to the castle, it was time to stop that, to turn it around. She could do something whether they knew it or not.

They waited uncomfortably in the room for what felt like hours. It wasn't easy for any of them. Snow was used to taking action, to charging into battle, not sitting pregnant in a tower waiting for news. Ruby normally was right there beside them and after they'd gotten off the horses she'd seemed fine but it must have been adrenaline because now every time she moved she winced and clutched her stomach. Granny helped her, assuring them that she'd be better soon enough, they just needed to remove the corset and let her rest properly, but she could see that they'd much rather be out with the others as well, crossbows and teeth bared. None of them liked sitting in the darkened tower, hiding because if the witch choose to come into this room they had no magic to defend themselves with, but they did it for hours on end.

The sun was going down by the time horses and soldiers began trickling back in through the gate. The castle came alive again, those who had been shut away for their own safety went back to work, their curtains were opened, footsteps were in the hall, and at David's voice Snow White opened the door for her husband, Regina, the dwarves, and the Merry Men.

"We searched the area around the house, expanded the search into the woods, went over every inch of that land. We found some footprints but nothing more," David informed them.

"She left on her broom," Belle explained.

"Well that explains why we couldn't follow after her," Robin Hood sighed. "Can't track the air."

"She said she had important things to do," she explained, "I hoped she'd at least stay in the area."

"'Important things to do'?" David questioned. "Like what?"

"She didn't tell us," she answered wishing she'd thought to ask something else and get a small hint. "But she did say, just before she left, that we'd see her soon."

"'Soon'?" David questioned again, beginning to sound like a parrot, there simply to mimic every word she said. Fortunately she knew the way to fix that. Little John called Roland to him, convinced him to go down to the stables to help the guards with the horses, and once it was just them again she offered a sigh and told them everything she knew.

"Ruby and I went to the house this morning, when we came out she was there just waiting for us. She wanted to know about Rumple, she had the dagger-"

"Tell me you didn't answer her questions!" Regina demanded.

"She threatened him if I didn't so yes I told her, but-"

"Stupid girl!"

"-but the questions were personal, the only one they hurt to answer was me."

"So you think! We don't know what she's planning!"

"She wanted to know what we saw in each other," she screamed back at Regina, determined not to lay down and take her angry insults this time around. "Why we loved one another, so unless you can think of a reason why that information hurts all of us then I don't see any reason for anyone besides me to be upset!" Regina opened her mouth, but then closed it again, saying nothing. Her heart was hammering but she felt a quick swell of pride expand in the pit of her stomach. Regina's silence could only mean one thing. She'd won. And it felt good.

"I asked her what she wanted from Rumple," she went on turning back to David and Snow White, "she said it was the same thing she wanted with your baby and your heart Regina."

"Wait! That's something we haven't heard yet," Snow inserted. "She wants Regina's heart, too? You're sure she said that?!"

"I am."

"Actually that's the only thing that does make sense," Regina muttered. "She said she wanted to take everything I had, if she crushes it she takes my life. What else did she say?"

"A lot happened in a short amount of time. She all but admitted to taking the sword in the mines but wouldn't tell me what she wanted with it, or your baby, Ruby threw a knife, Zelena threw Ruby-"

"I'm fine, really!"

"-she made veiled threats, told us she had to go, that she had other things to do and we'd see her soon, but…she told me, she let it slip!"

"Let what slip?" Granny asked, trying to calm her with a touch of the shoulder. But she couldn't be calmed. She was excited! Zelena had made a mistake and solved at least one mystery for them.

"She's at Rumple's castle," she told them again. "She told me herself. I told her that she wouldn't succeed and she went on and on about having Rumple, and the dagger, and Neal…and the castle!"

"She's staying there," David whispered.

"We were right all along," Snow breathed.

"It explains why none of the guards ever came back, though it still leaves us with the question of where she is now and what she's doing," Regina pointed out.

"I can help with half of that," she stated. They all glanced back over at her, even Ruby gave her a questioning look. "I can try to help with half of that," she amended quickly, thinking it was better not to make promises she wasn't sure she could keep.

"You know where she is?" David suggested.

She shook her head, "I think I can try to figure out what she's doing."

"How exactly do you expect to do that?" Regina snarled, grinning ear to ear as if her suggestion was so idiotic it was funny and cute. No. She wouldn't take that from Regina! Not anymore.

"So far you've used magic and physical evidence to track her, you've done what you do best now let me do what I know best-"

"What? Sew her a dress and read a book? What do you have we don't?!"

"Self-respect!" she roared back at the woman. "You can call me naïve and remind me a hundred times of the mistakes that I've made but you're not going to tell me what I am and am not capable of! And the truth is I shouldn't want to help you. Not after everything you've said to me in the last few months and certainly not after everything you've done since the moment we met: imprisonment, isolation, manipulation, torture…! I should let you figure it out on your own, but I won't, because that's not who I am, that's who you are!

"So I'm going to stay and I'm going to do what I do best and read a book and try to figure out what she's planning and how to stop her for you, for Rumple, and for their son! And if you don't like it, then no one will force you to watch and you can go on pretending like I'm useless!" she yelled at her, doing her best to cage Lacey's voice growing angrier and louder in her head with every word as she and Regina stared at one another and everyone in the room waited for a response from the Evil Queen who was staring daggers at her. The silence wasn't haunting for her this time, it didn't hurt, and she didn't have to hold back tears as she waited for her response. She'd said her peace. Finally! And the only one who had anything to say about it now would be Regina.

In the end all she did was sigh, roll her eyes, and cross her arms over her chest as she shook her head. "I don't have time for this," she muttered as she walked passed her, toward the door.

All in all, it was better than she expected it to be.


	54. The Strange Kindness of Strangers

7…8 Months, 1 Week, 3 Days

She liked sewing, truly she did, sitting at her sewing machine sketching out dresses and making something grand out of a simple piece of fabric…it was fun. It gave Lacey a thrill that made her feel important but they didn't need Lacey, not now. Now they needed her. And if she wanted that thrill, the same one Lacey felt sitting in front of her machine, there was only one place she could truly call her domain. She hadn't been to the library in this castle, not once. In the beginning she hadn't had the strength to even pretend to want to read a book, once he'd been gone it was just too painful, then when she'd moved in with Neal the opportunities to visit had vanish and since she'd been back in the castle she'd simply been too busy sewing to grace the fine room with her presence. But now…

After Regina had left the room, the day she'd decided to stay, the royals had asked her what she needed this time around and the answer had been simple enough.

"Books. Send the word out to everyone in the Kingdom, even the Kingdoms beyond, I want a copy of everything written about Oz from any realm and that includes the Land Without Magic."

"I don't think it works that way," Snow had muttered.

"It does," she assured them. "I've seen it done before, in Rumple's castle, items from that world are rare here but they can be found. Start with those that own book stores and ask anyone who collects rare items, I promise I'll return what they give but I need to see those books! I have to read them again, I doubt they're accurate, but they might have some small grain of truth to them that will help me put together what Zelena is doing."

"Anything else?" David asked.

She nodded. "A place to work," she smiled, knowing what she had in mind. "Show me your library." And for the first time since she arrived, her wish was fulfilled. David had taken her straight to the old library. It obviously wasn't being cleaned as regularly as the rest of the castle, secretly she didn't think anyone had used it since that first month when families had been camped out in the palace, or since the night Neal had snuck in to retrieve the map, but it was like heaven to her.

A room full of books, ladders, desks, and cozy chairs! This was what she knew! This was all she needed to know. Whether Regina liked it or not, this was where she needed to be! She was back. She was home. A librarian in her library. The smell of dust and old paper filled her nostrils and pulled a smile from her mouth each time she looked around the towering shelves. Was there anything that could possibly be better?

Yes. But given the circumstances, when she stopped to consider what was happening in her life and the options she had available to her...this was the best place she could be.

So it became her room. It became the place that she did everything, with the possible exception of dressing and sleeping, though if she was honest most nights she fell asleep in one of the chairs reading. While David and Snow worked to get the messages out to the Kingdoms that she needed books from the Land Without Magic, she worked in the library. She went down row after row of books, learning the shelving system just as well as she knew the one she'd had in Storybrooke. She knew what she was looking for but at the same time she didn't. No, she knew that she wasn't going to find a book called "The Wizard of Oz" sitting here on the shelves as she had in Storybrooke, but if their stories had existed in other realms, then why couldn't those stories exist here under different names. And, for that matter, why was it impossible to think there wouldn't be books on Oz here! This realm knew about magic! It knew about different worlds, with and without magic, that their world wasn't the only world! There was a time that travel between two different realms was possible, she was hoping someone had written about it!

She wasn't wrong. There were books. Helpful ones of every variety: _Magical Realms and How to Find them, A Guide to Worlds Beyond Our Own, Fact and Myth of Unmappable Lands, Spells Curses and Portals to Magical Lands, A Collective History of Foreign Worlds, What I Learned in Oz, Leadership and People of Great Importance in Other Realms, _and, the most impressive of all, _The Legend of the Five Witches of Oz: The Prophecy, Their Rise, and How One Witch Destroyed it all! _Yes, that was one she knew that she needed to go through!

The process of locating, reading, and researching was slow at first, it took a week before anything really happened, and even then it was more disappointment than anything. She was right, books from the Land Without Magic were rare, but they were out there, and as it turned out the people in this land that had them were more than willing to turn over anything that would help them defeat the witch…but the problem was they were willing to turn over _anything _that would help them defeat the witch.

"I need books about Oz, not Australia," she muttered when the third one was delivered to her by Robin.

"They're not the same place?" he questioned.

She sighed and set the travel book aside. "Not in this realm."

"Certainly seems like a magical place to me, have you looked at the pictures of some of the creatures that dwell there?" The books on Australia were only the beginning of a long line of items that made her way to her. She received books from various authors on everything from myths and wicca to vampires and movies!

"Remarkable," Robin said once looking over her shoulders. "We really are the stuff of legend in this other realm. Books are written about us."

"Yes and no," she muttered looking through them, wondering if any were going to be of help…wondering if what she really needed was in this world. "We're in the tales, the characters have our names and sometimes wisps of the lives that we lead but they're not always accurate. The villains die, the heroes are always victorious…the beauty and the beast get their happily ever after."

"So…how will reading a book from that world help you if it's untrue?" he asked. She wished she knew. She wished there was an easy answer to explain how authors in the World Without Magic knew about these other worlds how they managed to put together their stories accurately and inaccurately was a mystery to her. Baum might have been taken to Oz himself one night, or had a niece named Dorothy and wrote her stories down…it didn't matter. How he understood it all didn't matter. It just mattered that she could get something out of it.

"Because of those wisps," she insisted. "There is always a something right in each story: names, places, lovers, friends, weaknesses…anything might be the detail that helps us destroy her!"

And yet the stories never came. A couple of people sent in broomsticks and pails, they assumed to put water in, one person even sent them a small statue of a green skinned witch that Lacey recalled from an early movie. She could only shake her head and roll her eyes at each new delivery. "I ask for books about Oz and I get novelty figurines," she muttered to Ruby one evening.

"Kind of makes the books about Australia look good, right?" Ruby joked as they went through books.

She didn't have a response. The items were certainly from the Land Without Magic, rare in this land, and she was honored everyone had sent them at her request, but they simply weren't helpful! She'd nearly given up, was ready to tell them to call off the search when nearly two weeks later Grumpy came running into her room screaming. "It's here! It's here, we got it!" he stopped in front of her and with an uncharacteristic beaming smile set a tattered hardcover book in her hands. Green cover. Silly cartoonish lion on the front. Large blocked printing. _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz _by L. Frank Baum.

Her jaw dropped. It had worked! "An owl brought it in. That's the one you need right?!" Grumpy pressed. She was too excited to speak! Of all the books in the Oz series this was the one she needed above all the others! Yes! This was it, this was exactly what she needed! And all she could really think to do was reach out and throw her arms around Grumpy and hug him!

This was what she needed! What she needed to read more than anything. It just mattered that she had it! This she could do. This was what she was good at.

So without further hesitation, she began her real work. She carried the book over to the desk that she'd claimed for herself, finally settled into the chair and began to read.


	55. The Legend of the Five Witches of Oz

8 Months, 2 Week, 5 Days

_The Wonderful Wizard of Oz _by L. Frank Baum. All day she read. On and on. Once. Twice. Three times. A children's book, one she'd read in Storybrooke for herself before Lacey, it wasn't difficult to get through, but she wasn't reading for pleasure she was reading for details! She knew the book wasn't accurate, the witch died in the end, a bucket of water tossed by the girl supposedly melted her, but if that had been true then she Zelena wouldn't be here! No, she didn't take notes on the book, she took notes on the character of the witch, on weaknesses that weren't physical, on the way she thought, and mostly importantly the way she acted and carried out her plans. One grain of truth was all she needed, it might not help her discover what she was planning, but it would certainly allow them to know their enemy! It wouldn't let them onto the present or the future, but the past…

She supplemented her reading with the other books she'd found. She worked first on the general books, those that mentioned Oz along with other realms like Neverland and Wonderland. They weren't detailed, but they gave her enough information to paint a picture and begin sorting out truth from fiction in the Oz book Baum had written. It was a land of magic. In that land magic manifest itself mostly in women, making magical men rare and renowned. The so called "Wizard" was one of those rare men who some said was born of magic, delivered to them from the heavens, and permitted to rule in the major metropolis, The Emerald City. There was some debate over whether or not he could actually do magic as few ever actually saw the flesh of the wizard. From the story Baum had told, that was one of the few things that made sense. What wasn't compatible with his tale was the strange disappearance of the Wizard. In the book he left with Dorothy, according to the histories the Wizard was just gone one day. A few attributed this to a type of divine intervention. If the powers that be had brought him to them, they figured, perhaps the powers that be had taken him away in the same fashion. That was a popular theory. But it wasn't shared by all. Others believed something a bit more sinister had happened to the man...though the writers of the books seemed as though they'd been afraid to pen the truth.

Zelena was there, at least she assumed it was Zelena, she was never mentioned by name only as "The Witch of the West" or "The Wicked One" and "She Who Must Not Be Named", but no matter what she was called she was clearly important. So important that more than one book she read dated everything in Oz "Pre" and "Post" "Wicked Epoch". Oz was a peaceful place before and after Zelena, but during her time there, the so called "Epoch", the people lived in fear.

_The Legend of the Five Witches of Oz: The Prophecy, Their Rise, and How One Witch Destroyed it all! _She was right, it was the most helpful book, even if it didn't mention names. The writer said that it was in an effort to remain indifferent towards the situation, but names or not, his contempt for one of the "Witches of Oz" was clear enough, and together with Baum's version and the general studies she'd read, she was able to put it together.

There was a prophecy, one written down by the Great Ozma for eons predicting four witches that would possess great magic and rise to power in Oz, help Oz grow into a unified, peaceful land! Each witch would be granted a part of the land to rule, North, South, East, and West. Each direction was meant to represent one of the elements of magic, an element that would ultimately come to represent each witch and their individual struggle.

The Witch of the East, the representative of courage, the one that started it all, a traumatic and repressed upbringing had given her the courage to break away and change the world for the better, to help others so they would never suffer in the way she had.

The Witch of the North, represented Wisdom, raised in aristocracy, she'd known the Witch of the East since childhood. She had seen the best and worst of wealth, power, and glory, and was determined not to let her dear friend become the monster she feared the power would make her. She convinced her that a system of checks and balances was better. Not one person to rule, but many.

The Witch of the South, the embodiment of love, raised to be a scholar she showed such a great affinity for magic at a young age that many believed she could grant wishes and solve problems. Many flocked to the young child which instilled a deep sympathy for others in her. People who saw her in secret often said she had the ability to remove their burdens. Though she loved her people she never lost her love of intellect, it was her that realized the meaning of the prophecy, brought it to the attention of her sister witches, and helped to forge the symbols of their magical union. And it was through her sympathetic caring that the people became happy, but something was missing and it was the witch of the south that was prophesied to complete their circle.

"Belle," she glanced up from her notes to find David and Snow walking into the room with Robin. It was remarkable just how much she could still be drawn into this after all the researching she'd done. If David hadn't said something she probably would have simply kept reading and forgotten that she'd asked to see them all. "Robin sent for us, said you found something-"

"Ah, yes," she murmured pushing aside her books and pulling forward her scribbles, things they needed to know and wanted to know. "Yes, I did, but I…" she glanced up again and looked over her visitors, noting that one was missing. "Where's Regina?" she questioned.

David sighed and looked everywhere but at her. "She's…busy," he excused, telling her all she needed to know. The Evil Queen had declined the invitation. Her loss. Not theirs. If everyone that she needed was here then she'd move on.

"It's Zelena," she sighed showing them her notes and most importantly of all the book that she'd been pouring over for what felt like the millionth time when they arrived. "It's her history. With the exception of names it's well documented. It doesn't tell us much about what she's doing now-"

"But it tells us who she is," Snow finished for her, easing herself and her growing belly into a chair. "We'll take it, what did you find out?"

She pulled her papers out and sat opposite them, aware that every eye was on her, as she tried to figure out where to begin. "Well, to begin with she calls herself 'Wicked' because that's the only title she can truly claim. The idea that she's from the West of Oz…that's not certain.

"There was a prophecy, in Oz, describing four witches destined to rule over Oz, but the Witch of the West was different. The prophecy said she would be powerful, possess great magic, possibly stronger than the other three witches combined because she wasn't born of Oz. She was said to have been brought to the land by a cyclone, she was supposed to represent innocence. But there was a problem. In Oz there were two women that possessed the traits necessary to fulfill this prophecy. The first was the one the called the Wicked Witch-"

"Hardly sounds innocent," David commented.

"It wasn't about being innocent it was about choosing to be innocent. She was brought to the land by Cyclone, always magical, but had to be taught to control it by a wizard from a far away land-"

"Rumpelstiltskin," Snow assumed.

She nodded at her. "When she returned she was changed, evident by an undescribed 'physical manifestation'."

"Sure sounds like green skin to me," David commented.

"It doesn't say what exactly but that was my guess as well. After she learned magic, things in Oz got bad. Their wizard disappeared, most those who worked in the castle disappeared and the presence of strange unknown creatures took up residence with her, families started going missing, they had no proof but the people knew it was her and couldn't do a thing about it because no one was strong enough, until the three witches came along!"

"Tell me they didn't offer her more power," David begged.

"Not exactly, they offered her friendship, companionship, the chance to be good, and she took it. She took her place at the table, seemingly tamed, and the others celebrated that the prophecy had come to pass and peace would reign in Oz again…but that wasn't the end of it. A second candidate arrived also by cyclone also the owner of great power and because of the young girls age her innocence wasn't something that had to be chosen or fought for...it was implied."

"Dorothy?" David asked.

"The book never gives names," she repeated, "but from everything I've read it would make the most sense."

"So Dorothy shows up…what happens then? Wasn't she supposed to melt?" David questioned with a sigh.

"That's where it gets tricky. The book claims that the Wicked Witch was jealous of the Innocent Witch, that she returned to her old ways and tried to kill her one night. The plan was said to have backfired, the Wicked Witch was destroyed, but no one is really sure what happens after that. The Innocent Witch began her journey to Emerald City, some say to speak with a new Wizard, others thought that with her death the original wizard might have been resurrected, but either way she disappears not long after that.

"The Witch of the South accompanies the girl, she goes missing too. With two of the witches gone, the circle disbands and a monarchy rules Oz again, the realm settles back into peace, ironically it was true the witches did unite Oz again it just wasn't until after their reign had ended. The Witch of the South and the Innocent Witch are never seen again but The Wicked Witch…there were rumors that something took up residence in a haunted forest nearby. Some attributed it to the ghosts even the ghost of the Wicked Witch doomed to haunt them for all eternity, but some also report seeing monkey's and a witch on a broom flying in the treetops until one night another cyclone hits the Haunted Woods…

"The sightings stop after that," she concluded.

"So that's where she came from…were you able to find anything else?" David asked.

She nodded and handed him the notes she'd drawn up over the last two weeks. It wasn't much, but it was two weeks of good meaningful work! There was more to be done, but for now this would do. "She's smart, but makes rash decisions when she's angry or jealous. She likes power and control, it doesn't sound like she had a lot of either growing up, something else she had in common with the Innocent Witch. Both were raised poor by people who were not their parents but while the Innocent Witches family loved her, the Wicked Witches father, he was…cruel. Many believe he was the first one to declare her 'Wicked'. Obviously the name stuck."

"More Daddy issues," David muttered to himself looking over her notes. "What does this mean? 'Cowardice, uses others at all costs'?"

"That's just another observation," she informed him. "The Wicked Witch was-is powerful, but for as strong as her magic is she rarely does anything in person. She uses others, creatures, and items to carry out her wishes. Monkeys, Bees, Wolves, Rumple, there was one story of an enchanted axe that dismembered a man she admired as a child when he rejected her! There's no proof it was her but-"

"'Hell hath no fury…'," David finished for her. She nodded. There was no proof but that seemed to be the general assumption from those around her. They'd tried to save the man, to replace his limbs and lock the axe away, but no matter where they put it the axe always seemed to break free. The man finally died a few years later. The person that wrote that story down said that after all he'd been through death was a blessing.

"Did you find anything about our baby?" Snow asked desperately. "Has she ever tried to do anything like this before?"

"Nothing," she answered sadly. She was hoping that something like that would come up. Courage was certainly something that Baum's book had talked about but it wasn't The Wicked Witch seeking it out, it was a lion. "But I'm not done yet," she insisted, reaching forward and taking Snow's hand in her own. "This is just the beginning, if we can learn this much in only a few weeks then think what we can learn in the weeks to come!"

"If we have that kind of time…"

"No, Snow!" David rebuked, turning and kneeling before his wife. "We have time. She wants our baby. We don't know why but we know that she needs our baby. So long as our baby's not born she's stuck. We have what we need: time."

Snow White eased at the proclamation, she let out a relieved sigh and a smirk threatened to break into a smile as she realized, along with the rest of them, that David was right. They had time.

But her swelling belly was an ever present reminder…they didn't have much time.


	56. When Soon Came

8 Months, 3 Weeks, 3 Days

"It's time for dinner," Granny stated poking her head into her library.

"I know…" she sighed absent-mindedly without taking her eyes off the page she was taking notes on.

Magic. It was a confusing and foreign topic. She wished with every page turn that Rumple was there to help her decipher and learn the trade. But he wasn't. She was on her own. And she needed to keep moving. She'd been working for the last week, going through the library again and pulling out book after book and taking notes, it was a tedious process but with so many lives on the line she couldn't afford to get anything wrong. She couldn't afford to-

"Hey!" she yelped as her book suddenly closed, making her jump as she pulled her hand away just in time. Granny. She was standing beside her chair, looking down at her with a typical stern expression, leaning against the book she'd just closed. For a second she had to remember why she was there in the first place, she was so engrossed in what she was doing!

"It's time for dinner," she repeated.

"I know," she insisted, "I just need to finish this and I'll-"

"You've said that for the last three days and I have yet to see you sitting at dinner with the rest of us-"

"I'm working-"

"Working yourself to death," she insisted quickly. "Everyone needs a break sometimes and tonight you are going to take one!"

"No. I can't. I just-"

"Nope!" she insisted, pushing her chair back and grabbing her arm. "I don't want to hear your excuses. Let's go. Dinner time."

"But I need to-"

"Get a healthy meal and a good night sleep, I couldn't agree more, let's go."

She could have fought, but they both knew that it would have been for nothing. Granny didn't give in. Either she was going to dinner, or she was going to dinner. There was no other option. So she allowed the woman to pull her down into the hall she hadn't seen in days, filled with wonderful smells and a full table. Maybe a small break wasn't the worst idea in the world. Now that she wasn't staring at books and words she was aware that her eyes were a little sore.

"Look who I found upstairs!" Granny announced as she pushed her into a chair. "Take a load off, stay a while!"

"Welcome back," David smiled, "how's the-"

"Don't finish that question!" Granny snapped at David. "We all need just one night where we're not focused on something so depressing."

"Well...what are we supposed to talk about then?" Snow smiled, looking amused at Granny.

"Anything that's not green, magic, or involves flying broomsticks," she answered quickly. "Peas?" she asked passing her a bowl with a false smile. There was silence for a long time, as everyone looked around the table at one another. It was funny actually. They all looked well and truly stumped at Granny's new rule. What on earth they were supposed to talk about if they couldn't discuss Zelena?!

After a moment Rapunzel cleared her throat, drawing every eye to her. "My parents and I have decided to return to our Kingdom at the end of the week," she stated timidly.

Voices raised with happy and excited noises. It was a big step for the family, especially Rapunzel's mother who had confined herself to their suite since the attack, but they all agreed, it would be better for her to recover back in her own home, Rapunzel could begin catching up on what she had missed, her father could rule again. It was a good decision for everyone. David and Robin volunteered to make the trip with them, Ruby suggested they go during the full moon nights, when she could go with them and give them a little "extra protection".

Everyone seemed to be excited for the family, the one exception, of course was the woman sitting at the opposite end of the table. Regina. She ate her dinner with a scowl on her face, her eyes down, as if she was being forced to participate in dinner just as she was, only Regina clearly refused to enjoy it. Part of her ached for the woman's sorrow, for the way she knew she was tormented over Zelena and Henry, but she refused to say anything to her again, not after what had happened last time. It was one thing to defend herself and fight back, it was another to openly invite others to force her into a position where she'd have to defend herself and fight back. Regina wasn't Rumple, she had no responsibility to her. If she wanted to brood alone and make herself miserable, that was her choice and her choice alone.

When the servants brought the wine David had requested, to celebrate Rapunzel's good news, she turned away from the Evil Queen and allowed herself to indulge. There was nothing wrong with a glass…but the man over David's shoulder didn't pour it. In fact, he didn't do anything, just held the bottle in his hands and stared blankly ahead of him at…Regina?

"Are, uh...are you alright?" she asked the man, looking him over, reaching out a hand to touch his arm. He remained unflinching and the laughter around the room died down as everyone slowly became aware of the phenomenon at her words.

"What's wrong?" David asked him.

"What are you staring at?" Regina snapped looking him over.

Still the man refused to answer and her heart began to skip beats because she knew that something wasn't right.

"Regina?" David questioned.

"Don't look at me," she snapped rising, "I've no idea what's wrong with him."

"I do!"

Her blood ran cold as the voice from the ceiling made them all turn their heads up toward the giant chandelier that hung above their heads. Green. Magical. Broom in hand as she sat upon the chandelier. Her body tingled and she felt her heart threaten to stop as she was enveloped in green smoke and reappeared only a short distance from the table. Everyone sat perfectly still, stared at her, fought to get over the shock. Zelena was here.

"Sorry to break up the dinner conversation but I thought you might want this back," Zelena commented in her falsely sweet voice. A loud clank drew their attention to the center of the table where a sword had just appeared. David's sword. No. The copy. The fake that Regina had made to protect the original. Zelena's eyes widened as she looked at…her?! "I told you I'd see you soon, dear. I've come to take what belongs to me and this time…I won't be fooled!" With a wave of her hands the frozen man dropped the bottle and what came out of his mouth was a loud monkey like shriek! In an instant the man had become what he sounded like and the windows broke, burst open as winged monkey's pressed to get inside. Then all at once, they were everywhere!

"Ambush!" David screamed as the monkey next to him reached for his belted sword, the one that actually contained Rapunzel's courage. "Guards!" he screamed!

There was chaos.

It was hard to see.

There was a roar of monkey's wings all around her, the swarm of them forced her to cover her head with her hands. The chairs over turned. The room shook as people scattered. She could hear arrows whiz through the air as the merry men, constantly armed, did their best to take them down. David was across the room, covering Mary Margaret, slashing anything that came near the two of them. Ruby was picking up anything heavy and throwing it at the beasts. And Zelena…

Zelena was walking toward Regina, who was busy setting monkeys on fire and sending them flying across the room without hesitation to notice that her sister was right behind her until…

Zelena reached out her hand and Regina froze. It was as if…as if Zelena had just reached right inside Regina's body for something. Her heart?! She really wanted her heart?! She watched, ducking between the table and the chair as Zelena stepped up to her and whispered something in her ear and-

She was sure she wasn't living, sure she wasn't breathing and her heart wasn't beating. In that moment it was easy to think that Zelena successfully killing Regina would have been the worst thing in the world but she was wrong. The worst thing was what she saw, that moment. Roland. Walking up behind Zelena, slingshot in hand, rock in the slingshot. Taking aim.

"Roland no!" she cried darting out from her hiding spot for the boy, dodging monkeys and arrows as she ran but it was already too late.

"Let Regina go!" the boy yelled at the witch before letting the rock fly. It hit Zelena on the back of the head and for a second she thought the worst was about to happen. Zelena released Regina, located the little boy, gazed at the slingshot in his hand, put it together what had happened and reached a hand out for the boy with a snarl. But in her distraction Regina hadn't missed a beat or waited to see what would happen. She sent Zelena flying across the room, against one of the walls with a powerful thud.

"If you ever try to hurt him again Zelena I will kill you!" Regina screamed.

But Zelena seemed unaware of the threat, she reached back on her head and looked at something on her hand, blood maybe before yelling "Insolent little brat! Take the boy too! Drown him for all I care!"

"NO!" Regina bellowed, throwing her against her so hard that her head slammed against the wall, but it was too late, the order had been given and nearly every monkey in the room stopped idly flying and found a target. Five descended on Regina and there was an uncomfortable snapping of one neck after another as she killed each one with an unseen force. Two descended on Snow White, each one taking and arm.

"David!" she cried.

"Snow!" he bellowed back. But what caught her attention most was the way one monkey suddenly swooped down toward Roland.

"No!" she shouted, lunging forward and grabbing the child. Only the problem wasn't gone. Now the beast was coming for both of them…and she was unarmed! The thing screeched as she bolted, Roland in her arms, across the room. But the screeches grew louder and louder behind her, and her hair blew with each beat of wings…the beast was close, she didn't need to look behind her to see that. So she did the only thing that she could think to do and dove under the table with Roland.

It was quieter there, the noises of the outside realm were muffled until there was a bang as the monkey attempted to follow them and instead crashed into the table. Roland was crying, clutching and clinging to her as she kept a protective arm around him, hoping it was over, that someone had saved Snow, that Regina had fought off Zelena, that-

She screamed as a monkey suddenly figured out how to get under the table and lunged for the two of them. She did her best to crawl away, but with each motion she made the monkey matched it, creeping closer and closer to them until-

Her back hit something. David's chair. Trapping her and Roland there under the table. Her chest heaved and her mouth went dry as she looked around desperately for options.

She could tell the boy to crawl out, but she doubted he'd listen, and though the noise wasn't as bad as it was she knew that the creatures weren't gone, sending him out there would be no better.

She could cover Roland, hope that the beast would take her before him and someone would come to their rescue as her mother had once saved her.

She could…something hard hit against her hip and she glanced down to see a pouch of rocks and Rolands sling shot clutched tight in his hand.

The winged monster lunged for her, grabbed her ankle, and left her with no other option. She let Roland cling and cry against her, grabbed the toy, and a rock, aimed and hit the beast in the nose.

It released her. Reached up and rubbed its nose, jumping back in surprise. By the time it reached for them again she had already placed a new rock in the pouch, aimed, and let go. The rock soared passed his ear and it waved its paw as if the stone was nothing but an irritating fly.

One stone left, she aimed again, shot, and…it was almost perfect. She hit him clean in the eye, just like she wanted. But as the monster covered his eye and roared in pain he stood up, turned the table over with a loud crash and exposed Roland once more to the rest of Zelena's minions. And they noticed. As soon as she looked up she saw another one swooping down for them, to scoop the boy up. Out of options, she clutched him tight, rolled him beneath her body, and waited for claws to maul her back!

There was a shriek.

Something hit her back but only barely, a light awkward collision and she dared a look to see that same monkey laying in a heap on the floor an arrow protruding from its back. She glanced up to see Robin standing there, bow and arrow in hand, sending arrows into any beast that dared come close to the two of them. Roland was crying, she couldn't do a thing about it, her heartbeat betrayed her own terror as the fiends whizzed overhead. "It's alright," she cooed finally forcing herself to cover her own eyes and block the sights and sounds out. "It'll be alright," she stated though she didn't know if she was telling Roland or trying to assure herself.

She counted thuds. Every vibration told her another one had fallen and she forced herself, for Roland's sake, not to consider the fact that each of the creatures was once a person, that it could be Aurora or Philip…or even the former Wonderful Wizard of Oz or Innocent Witch she'd read about. They had been friends once, but for now they were attacking Roland and that made them a threat, there was no choice for them other than-

Something startled overhead. She could hear it. Suddenly the shrieks weren't just occasional anymore it became constant, a panic, more and more crashes signaled the death of more beasts and when she finally risked a glance up she saw the most wonderful sight in the world. Men in black. Guards. With crossbows. Dozens of them. Circling the room and aiming in the air for every monkey that had already retreated and was circling nervously overhead waiting for instructions from Zelena. What did she want them to do?!

"Now you're out numbered!" She glanced awkwardly over her shoulder to see Regina yelling at her sister, their hands extended as if they'd been choking each other with magic. "You might kill me but you won't survive. Surrender or die, those are your options!"

There was silence as the witches gazed at each other, stared each other down. She took the opportunity to glance around, to locate everyone. The Merry Men were there, weapons in hand. Snow was there, sprawled out on the ground, a hand protectively over her belly as David and Ruby stood guard over her just as Robin was for her and Roland. The dwarves were…down.

Two of them.

No. Three.

Three she couldn't identify from the distance collapsed on the ground as blood poured out of their bodies. Granny and Grumpy seemed to be doing all they could to stop the bleeding, but she honestly wasn't sure it was working. "Don't look," she begged as she felt Roland move against her. "Don't look, don't look, don't look," she breathed looking over her shoulder again at Regina and Zelena, who looked to be assessing the situation just as she had been. Slowly a sneer spread over Zelena's face.

"This isn't over little sister! I will have your heart! I will get everything you ever had!" she screamed into the empty room-

Then she disappeared in a puff of smoke.


	57. It's Not Over Until It's Over

8 Months, 3 Weeks, 3…4 Days

The monkeys left just after Zelena. As if on cue, all of them darted back through the broken windows they'd invaded from and in seconds the loud screeches and whines that had drowned out every other sound left them with nothing but silence, chaos, and panic. Lots of panic.

"Roland!" Robin Hood cried immediately. She felt like she was swimming in molasses, like it wasn't her body that was rolling over, uncovering Roland so his father could wrench him from her arms and hold him secure in his own. It was a strange feeling that crashed over her after the adrenaline faded. After everything had gone so fast she felt like it was too slow now. That Regina running over to Roland and Robin asking if he was okay took too long. Like each shallow breath wasn't enough to keep her living. She was tired suddenly. Oh, it would be so nice to just drift off to sleep-

"Dopey!"

No, she couldn't sleep, it wasn't over. She had to keep moving.

The shouting began first. People wondering who was hurt and what they needed. "Belle!" Robin Hood called, stooping down as she struggled to catch her breath and wake herself up. "Belle are you alright?!" his voice became a little more clear with each word and she did her best to nod. "Belle!" he finally shouted, reaching out and shaking her shoulder.

Finally she managed to open her eyes. "Yes," she breathed. "Yes, yes, I'm fine," she realized taking an assessment of her body. Nothing felt broken. Nothing felt sore. But there was a strange feeling on her ankle.

The monkey had grabbed her. With the memory fresh in her mind she sat straight up and examined her leg. The stockings were torn, and her skin was red from the force but not broken. Glancing around she knew the others weren't as lucky.

"You saved my son," Robin Hood muttered, reminding her that she was still sitting there next to him and she shouldn't be because she was fine and others weren't. "I am forever in your debt!" he breathed hugging Roland closer. She couldn't think of anything to say, the boy was safe, father and son both looked relieved to have each other, and all she could do was reach out, squeeze his shoulder, and push herself to her feet.

The hall was in shambles, broken glass, porcelain, wood, and food all lay strewn across the floor, but what she cared about most were the three bodies she saw in a heap across from her. She staggered over the mess to get to them as Snow and David did, hoping to see just how bad it was, but instead Granny tugged her arm, forcing her to her knees and placed her hands over a warm wet spot. "Keep pressure there!" she ordered. She was barely aware of what she was doing, that she was trying to staunch the bleeding, and looked into the face of the body beneath her hands.

Dopey.

A young female servent was being tended to by a couple of Merry Men.

But the worst of them, easily, was a guard, who Granny and Ruby were working on themselves with the assistance of Sneezy.

"What happened?!" Regina questioned, as guards rushed forward and quickly took her place as well as the men helping Dopey.

"They tried to take Snow!" David explained. "Grumpy and Doc jumped on the two that had her and the guard got hit when he reached for Snow." Thus the large gash on his shoulder. "I didn't see what happened to the other two."

"What about the blood?!" Robin asked pointing to a trail of blood drops that she hadn't seen leading from the corner the room to a window.

"It belongs to a monkey," David explained. "It tried to grab my sword by its blade. I didn't want to kill it-"

"They tried to kill us first!" Regina insisted.

"Enough!" Snow yelled, looking down at her friends. "Move them," she told the guards, "make them as comfortable as possible and send for doctors make sure they get all the help they need!"

"There's no need for that," Regina growled stepping forward. Everyone held their breath as they watched the Evil Queen kneel between Dopey and the young girl, her hands glowed purple, the same kind of magic she'd seen Rumple use on her once, and like magic their muscles, skin, bones, even their clothes mended back together perfectly. But… "No! No, that's wrong!" Regina stated looking over them.

"What?" Snow asked. "What's wrong?"

"They should wake up!"

"So why aren't they?" Grumpy demanded as Regina stood up and moved over to the unconscious guard. He took longer, his injuries were extensive but they healed under her hands. Still the dwarf remained motionless on the floor.

"I have no idea," Regina muttered, looking at them with genuine perplexity.

"Move them," Snow repeated gently to the guards, unable to take her eyes off of them. "I want someone there with them around the clock until they wake up."

In the end there was no need for her final command. There was no shortage of people to look after their fallen comrades. As soon as they were taken from the hall everyone followed, too wired to do anything but stay and watch. They were laid into beds and the silence stretched on and on as everyone took up a silent vigil by the bedside, eagerly waiting for them to wake up, to prove they were alright and merely sleeping. Roland fell asleep in his father's arms as night moved into morning. Sneezy brought water for everyone to wash blood off of their skin with. Granny brought everyone soup. Guards and servants came and went, checking in on their friends. Morgan was the mans name. The woman was named Lily. Belle sat hunched over in a chair, staring at the beds for any small motion, especially from the young girl. She'd barely noticed her before now but now that she'd stared at her all night she could trace every line and feature on her face. Even Regina stayed, arms crossed over her chest as she stared out the window as if waiting for another attack to come.

But it didn't. The only thing that came for them was the sun. The only thing that broke their silence was-

Shaking. Tremors. The bed squeaked and whined. There was a gasp as people looked up and identified the noise.

The guard.

He wasn't awake. He was simply thrashing around on the bed. "Hold him!" Sneezy yelled, "he's having a seizure!" Half the room got up to do it at the same time but stopped only halfway to the bed out of shock. It couldn't be a seizure. Seizures were rare, they didn't happen to everybody, and even though she wasn't a doctor or a pharmacist like Clark she knew that it was highly unlikely two people in the same room would have them at once! So why was Dopey suddenly wriggling just as Morgan was?

It was only moments later that Lily started too!

"What's happening to them?!" Snow asked, glancing at Regina.

"I don't know that's not normal!" But she knew it. She knew it the second she saw their eyes open and glow red as they fought against their captors. She knew it…she just wasn't sure she believed what she was seeing! They were becoming monkeys. Tails were sprouting, hair was growing, teeth were sharpening! There was a hand wrapped tight around her upper arm, Robin, pulling her back away from their friends…the creatures…new enemies.

They watched in horror as their eyes flew open, as the three bodies finally broke free of their bonds, popped out of the bed and screeched at each other, looking at one another just as Aurora and Philip first had as everyone remained silent. Her throat was dry. She didn't know what to do or say! They looked confused. Was it possible they weren't entirely-

"Dopey?" she glanced over to Grumpy, who was the only one daring enough to step forward, to address the creatures, his brother, to try and get through to him in a gentle voice. For a second she hoped it had worked, for just one second they all stared at the monkeys, their hearts in their throats, waiting for something to happen, for recognition and panic to register in their eyes-

Dopey suddenly gave out a loud, angry screech and lunged toward Grumpy. David made a motion to draw his sword but hesitated. Sneezy was able to pull him out of the way just in time just before-

A ball of flame soared passed the monkeys ear and hit the wall above the dwarves heads making all of them jump and the monkey pause before looking over his shoulder and letting out a shrill yell at Regina. She was still by the window, but she'd opened it, wide! In the palm of her hand another fireball grew to the size of a softball and she tossed it again, at a second monkey, narrowly missing his head!

"Get out of my castle!" she screamed angrily, throwing another one at Dopey...or was it Lily? She couldn't tell anymore. It was a slow careful game the three played with Regina. Balls of flame soared, coming close to their heads but never actually hitting them and slowly they circled the room, ducking and squatting, shielding themselves from doom, before arriving at the window and one final ball, bigger than a globe in his shop, they spread their new wings and took off into the early morning.


	58. Their Own Trojan Horse

8 Months, 3 Weeks, 4 Days

"Did that really just happen?" Snow breathed, making every head in the room turn to look at the suddenly pale Queen…dangerously pale.

"Snow, sit down," Granny ordered taking her hand and gently easing the woman into a chair, at nearly six months pregnant it was getting harder and harder for the already small woman to make that motion flawless.

"What were you thinking?!" Every head snapped up from Snow to Grumpy who was glaring at the Evil Queen as if he was ready to rush forward and hit her.

"What?!" she snapped angrily.

"You could have hit them! You could have killed them!"

"I saved your life!"

"You almost destroyed theirs!"

"I knew what I was doing! I could have all too easily taken their heads clean off and instead I let-"

"Regina did what she had to do!" David yelled, silencing the fight.

"He's our brother," Happy commented, taking a stand next to Grumpy.

"We know," the King answered. "And Morgan and Lily have families too but right now they're…" David shook his head as his voice trailed off and he searched for the word to describe what had happened. She wasn't sure there was one. Aurora and Philip had been one thing, a horrible punishment before their eyes, but this! Just from a few scratches! It was…

"They are neither friends nor foes," Robin suggested from across the room, still holding Roland in his arms, after these last few hours she doubted he'd ever let the boy out of his sight again. "They are simply victims-"

"Complications," Regina interrupted. "Before we tried not to kill them now we have to try not to be injured or else we become them?! That's a kind of magic even I wouldn't inflict," she muttered turning her back.

"Well that rules out any attack on Rumpelstiltskin's castle," Granny added, still tending to Snow White. "You were lucky that none of you were hurt weeks ago in the mine. You can't go into that place with hundreds of men, you'll only end up with more mutants-"

"Monkeys-"

"Friends!"

"What they are doesn't matter!" Snow insisted from her chair. "We need a new plan, something that doesn't involve running into…any other potential victims…. Considering all that's happened we've been lucky this hasn't happened before! We need a way to get our friends back…all of them!" she stated looking at Regina. "And that includes Rumpelstiltskin and Neal as well," she added glancing at her. "They're as much her prisoners as the Dopey is."

Her eyes nearly flooded with tears and a lump caught in her throat at the recognition. She remembered! She wanted to help Rumple. And the dwarves. And Philip and Aurora. But she wanted to help Rumple and Neal too. There was someone else in her corner, someone fighting with her. And it felt…it felt like relief!

"In theory," Regina drawled before she could begin to cry at the meaning behind Snow's insistence, "if the one who enacts the magic is destroyed then all of their magic is destroyed with them. Each act leaves behind a signature, a bit of the persons soul or intent to perform magic…take away the signature and you take away the magic, like an electrical short circuit."

There was silence once more as everyone looked at Regina, trying to decipher what, exactly, she'd just said. How strange, they knew what "and electrical short circuit" was, but the rest of it was gibberish to them. "What?" Grumpy finally asked blatantly, voicing what everyone else was thinking.

Regina let out an annoyed sigh. "Destroy the witch and we destroy her spells, everything would reverse. Monkeys included."

"So we just have to kill the witch?" Grumpy clarified. "Isn't that what we've been trying to figure out how to do?"

"No," Regina corrected. "That's what _I've _been trying to figure out how to do, you've all been too busy knitting baby booties and making dresses!"

"Well we're not anymore," David stated, not bothering to deny the claims. "You've been looking into her since we arrived back here, have you found anything that could be of use?"

She knew the answer simply from the glare that Regina cast David, the challenging fiery eyes that told her all she really wanted to do was throw some more fireballs at the wall, but preferably at David's head. "No," she muttered, sounding almost disappointed in herself.

"Belle, you've been researching her, looking into her past, have you found anything that might tell us how to defeat her?"

"Yeah, other than a bucket of water because that didn't work so well the last time…" Happy added looking nervous.

She wanted so badly to say she did, that she'd found something that would be useful or helpful but all she'd come across so far was…well…fairy tales! Myths, legends! Some of the books didn't even bother to name the Wicked Witch of the West! Nothing so far had detailed any successful attempt at dethroning her. She was a tyrant then and she was a tyrant now the only difference was that now there were some willing to try and take her down! Their attempt would be the first successful one…it had to be! They just had to figure out what their 'attempt' included.

"She's human," she stated, telling them the only piece of information she could think of that might help, "born of this world, not Oz, so she's bound to the same rules of this world. She could die just the same as any of us so what we need really need to be thinking about is how to remove her magic. So far everything she's done to us has been the result of her magic, if we take it away she'll be defenseless, easily over powered-"

"Easily killed," Regina finished in an unimpressed tone. "You're not telling me something I don't already know!" No she was telling the others what they didn't know! Snow White and David were finally trying, thinking of everyone's problems beyond their child's! She was trying as well, doing her best to focus on magic and Zelena and the baby instead of Rumple, the only one still playing lone wolf was Regina.

"We could ask the fairies," Grumpy stated suddenly, ending Regina's tirade as everyone turned toward his small voice. The fairies? Grumpy wanted ask the fairies for help? After everything with Nova?!

"The fairies?" Ruby questioned.

"They knew about the magical tree that saved Emma before the curse," Grumpy stated. "They have fairy dust. Tinkerbell somehow knew how to move between worlds and that you were pregnant before you did! Their magic is strong, they know what we don't, maybe one of them knows where to find the answer."

No one argued. She didn't understand what he meant, talking about magical trees and Tinkerbell, but she knew Grumpy was right. She'd seen fairy dust turn a beast back into a man with her own two eyes! They lived far longer than anyone in this room ever would, maybe they had answers!

Maybe others did too! The books on Oz weren't helpful beyond her time there because ultimately she wasn't from Oz she was from the Enchanted Forest. Cora. If information about Zelena couldn't be found here, in her library, in books, maybe the answer was in the world outside.

"It wouldn't hurt to look into Cora as well," she suggested quietly. "Talk to anyone or that might know about Zelena, her true origins, before she was in Oz."

Regina's face went stoney, her jaw tightened and locked together as she glared at her. "My mother's personal life is none of your business," she growled.

"It became our business the moment she threatened us and started taking our friends!" Sneezy argued back. But the moment Regina took a step forward the dwarf quickly cowered behind Happy and sneezed. "I think…I mean I know…I mean…"

"No, he's right," Ruby offered. "In war every piece of information is important, right?"

"This isn't war!" Regina yelled.

"Well, it's sure as hell more than a little sibling rivalry now!" David argued. "She's amassing an army, made up of people we know and love, and so far we can't do anything to stop them! She's threatening not just our lives, but our kingdom, our way of life, if that's not war I don't know what is!"

"And how, exactly, do you propose to find this information?" Regina fought back. "_I _didn't even know I had a sister, you think there is someone else who does or are you planning to just go back in time?!"

"We'll never know until we try, Regina," Snow stated from across the hall. "You heard her at dinner, she's been saying the same thing all along, she is out to get you Regina and whatever she's planning she's bringing all of us into it. Wouldn't you like to know why? Wouldn't you like to know why you never knew you had a sister? Why Cora kept it from you?"

Regina stood there, her arms crossed, her back straight, and her eyes…they were angry but there was something there that betrayed her, something that made her feel like she should look away as she suddenly took pity on the woman and considered just how difficult this entire situation was: tears. She restrained them well, if it wasn't for the shine in her eyes she wouldn't have known they were there! But they were and for that moment she knew exactly what Regina was going to say before she said it.

"No," she choked out, "I don't!" Then Regina did what she did best when tension was high and emotions were thick, what she'd done ever since they arrived, and left. She understood that frustration, but at the moment she also understood Regina's. No matter who Cora was, no matter who she'd been or what she'd done to Rumple, she was first and foremost her mother. She'd kept a terrible secret that no parent should ever keep from her daughter and she wasn't even around anymore to defend herself. She knew they'd have to look into Cora's past, but she also understood Regina's hesitation. Though that didn't appear to be an opinion shared around the room.

David sighed the moment the door slammed behind her and she could see his eyes close as he fought to contain his frustration and Snow struggled to stand up again before following after her, saying simply that she wanted to talk with her. Robin shook his head staring at the closed door, "I doubt we'll get any help from her on this matter."

"None at all," David agreed, "but that doesn't mean we should stop trying. "Grumpy, Belle…you're right, we need to look into Zelena's past, find out what the magical community knows about her and see if there is a way to stop her, anything, anything at all, we'll take rumors, myths, legends, hell I want a bucket of water placed in every room just in case Dorothy had bad aim!"

"So how do we do it?" Grumpy asked.

"What do you mean?" Granny asked.

"I mean that every time we step outside this castle we seem to find her staring right back at us," Grumpy pointed out. "She could be watching us, what's to stop her, what happens if she finds out we're asking questions and looking for answers. I don't see her taking that particularly well do you?!"

There was silence in the room as everyone considered this. He was right! Every time they left the castle someone seemed to have an encounter with her. When she wanted to stop being hunted she'd captured the villages they were helping. When she wanted Rumple she'd appeared out of nothing in that clearing. When she wanted Snow's baby, when she wanted Regina's heart, when she wanted David's sword, when she wanted…

When she wanted.

No, she didn't show up all the time, just when there was something that she wanted!

A story popped into her head suddenly, something she'd read out of a book in Storybrooke, the same book she'd read about Pandora's box in!

They could do this, it just had to be done delicately, with the right people.

"There was a myth, in Storybrooke, The Land Without Magic," she began, "about a group of people that were able to get through the gates of an enemy town by hiding in a wooden horse and convincing them that it was a gift."

"I remember it," David nodded.

"So do I," Grumpy added, "you saying to want us to leave the castle disguised as a wooden horse? Because I think she's smart enough to see through that one!"

"No," she shook her head, trying not to smile at the comment. That wasn't exactly what she had in mind, though he was thinking of the right idea. "She only ever shows up when we have something she wants so we make sure that everything she wants is in one place. We stay here, Snow, Regina, David you keep your sword and make sure people see you with it, and we send others that she hasn't made threats against out to return Rapunzel and her family to their home."

"She attacked them before," Robin pointed out.

"Because she thought Rapunzel had the sword," she reminded him. "The Queen hasn't burst in to tell us she was attacked by monkeys, the rest of the castle was left in peace when she struck at dinner, and even then she left Rapunzel untouched. It's not her she wants. She was in the room before she attacked, she already knows we're planning on sending Rapunzel and her family back in a caravan so we send her back with Ruby, Robin your men, and the dwarves, Zelena will think you are simply escorting her home and once you arrive, slip away. Talk to the fairies, dig into Cora's past, so long as she knows the rest of us are here, she'll leave you alone."

"So the rest of us are prisoners then?" Robin questioned.

"No more than we were before," Granny pointed out.

"You'll have to stay too," David added looking to Robin Hood. "She threatened Roland, it's too dangerous to let the two of you leave." Robin nodded and agreed without hesitation looking his boy over. When it came to Roland she had no doubt that he would live forever in the world's tiniest cell with him if it meant his safety.

David sighed and glanced over at Rapunzel, who had been quietly sitting in the corner ever since they'd moved into the small room last night. "Are you alright with this plan?" he asked.

She paused for a moment before nodding. "We'll do it. I'll talk to my parents."

There was an uncomfortable shuffle that seemed to make its way around the room as they all settled and accepted what was. No one said that it was done, no one wanted to even say that it was the plan because they all knew that it wasn't a sure thing, that it was based on conjecture, myth, and frankly just a long shot because of the flaws that the plan had. But no one rejected it because it was all they had. It wasn't the best option. It was the only option. And it was nothing but a hopeful gamble.


	59. Positively Moving Forward

9 Months, 1 Day

They left three days later. The dwarves, Ruby, three merry men, Rapunzel and her parents. It wasn't a long journey to their Kingdom, but that wasn't the quest that had everyone on edge. It was what came next. The dwarves were going back to the mines, to talk to fairies and any other magical creature they could find to see if they knew any way to over-power Zelena. Ruby and the merry men were going to the place Snow thought that Cora was from, since Regina had refused to tell them. She did her part by telling her the little she knew of Cora, the little that Rumple had told her about her before she'd come to be married to Regina's father. She'd been the daughter of a miller but had gotten into trouble telling the King she could spin straw into gold. She left out the details of their deal, for Rumple's privacy and for her own in a strange way, but she disclosed that thanks to Rumple she'd learned magic, been spared death with his help, and was married off to the King. And so, back to the place Regina had grown up, the place she'd been born, they went.

They were to use their best judgement on their way. Keep their eyes open if they felt they were being followed they had to make the choice to risk the monkeys figuring everything out and go, or simply return. Everyone was under strict orders not to make contact with them unless it was necessary. No notes, no messengers, not even through the birds! They were on their own. And all they could do, all they'd agreed to do in order to make their departure look as natural as possible, was go back to their normal routines.

It was torture.

All day in the library. Reading book after book. Doing her part by researching magic, trying to find a way to remove magic from Zelena, find any weaknesses she could exploit, and yet time and time again, all she kept coming back to was her friends.

_"The ability to use magic is a trait that can be found in some humans not of magical blood. If the ability is discovered, nurtured, and permitted to grow it is possible…"_

Where was Ruby? What was she doing? Was she safe? Had she encountered Zelena? Was the risk worth it? Would she find anything at all?

_"Magical removal is possible. There are numerous spells, potions, roots, and herbs, all with the ability to remove, or temporarily block, a user's magic but only if done willingly or with full knowledge. Removing magic without…_

Would the fairies know anything? Would the dwarves make the journey safely and be able to ask them? Would Grumpy run into Nova? Would old wounds be opened?

_"…there is some doubt that such an evil being would be able to fall prey to a simple bucket of water thrown by a female child…"_

This was her plan. If something happened to them, her friends…she'd never forgive herself. Rumple…Neal…she simply couldn't take anymore loss, anymore guilt. She was doing alright at the moment. The past still weighed on her, kept her up at night, but it also drove her to be here. To stay focused! To undo what had been done. She had to get Rumple away from her before she used him for something that would do damage…more damage. She had to figure out a way to separate Rumple and Neal, she had to figure out how to save Neal…she had to get them the opportunity to be a family. There was a lot resting on her shoulders. She just hoped she didn't let anyone down.

"Is this how you spend your time now?" she jumped out of the chair she was lounging in, the book in her lap fell to the floor, and she glanced behind her to see Robin, with Roland in hand. He hadn't let the boy go it seemed. Nearly a week since the attack and she had yet to see father without son. She wasn't terribly surprised about that. After all this was over, she wasn't sure she'd ever let Neal or Rumple out of her sight again either!

"Oh!" Robin smiled moving forward to pick what she'd dropped up off the floor. "Let me help you with that!"

"Me too! Me too! I can help!" Roland shouted eagerly, running forward to pick up the scattered papers, and making her smile. He was a sweet boy, truly. If she'd died trying to save him, it would have been worth it. "Hey!" Roland piqued looking at a piece of paper in his hands. "You draw good. Can you show me how?"

"Roland maybe later," Robin muttered removing the paper from his hand. "Our friend is busy, but you came to ask her a simple question. Can you remember?"

"Yes, do you have a book I could look at?" A book he could look at, because he couldn't read yet. A picture book. At her library in Storybrooke she'd had shelves of them, but unfortunately, here, there were only a handful. And frankly the only reason she knew they were here was because when she came across one she'd put it aside for Snow, something for her to look forward to in all this unpleasantness, though she'd been holding off because she really wasn't sure if that was for the best at the moment. Still it wouldn't hurt if one went missing, and it wouldn't hurt to give the boy a small treat after his traumatic event.

"Sure, come this way," she smiled reaching out so he could place his hand in her own and led him over to the small children's books. She missed this. Being in charge of a library, having hundreds of books at her disposal, even if it had never opened, even if she hadn't gotten the chance to do this part of it, she missed it. There was a difference, she was certain, between what a person was born as and what they were born to do. She may have been born a Princess, for the purposes of marrying a king and having babies, but she was born to be a librarian, she was born to be a pawnshop owners lover…more than that. She'd been made to be his wife, a friend to his son! She just hoped she got the second chance to get that life.

"Daddy! Animals!" Roland yelled showing his father the book as he ran over to him. Robin smiled and looked at the book in his hands, but Roland stole the book back quickly and lay out on the carpet on his belly his bent knees swinging in the air as he stared down at animal after animal. Yes, that was what she should have been doing with her life. In a perfect world Rumple would be studying magic and she'd be studying books instead of-

"Thank you," Robin commented as she made her way back to her spot at the table. "He's been a bit restless since we won't let him go outside…but it's for the best with Zelena still out there."

"I understand," she smiled softly, sitting back down and trying to pick up where she'd left off. Zelena. Buckets of water. Powerful magic.

"How are you?"

She sighed at Robins question and looked over her notes. She wished she had something of worth to say, something to ease his mind, to assure Roland that someday he would be able to go outside again…but she just didn't! She'd learned nothing since the attack, nothing since their friends had departed! She was beginning to fear that she'd come to the end of what she could do.

"I'm doing my best," she answered. "But trying to find information on Zelena and Rumple here, it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack!"

"Yes but that wasn't what I asked," he responded, looking down at her with a patronizing grin. "How are you?" he asked again. Honestly she couldn't remember the last time someone asked how she was in the middle of all this, all anyone wanted to know was how far along she was, or if she'd found anything. Frankly she preferred those questions because they had clear, less involved answers. How she was? Well, the research helped, and she felt like she was keeping herself together fairly well for the first time in months…but she still couldn't say she was alright.

"Fine," she muttered, smirking at the little definition of "fine" Lacey had always carried in her head. Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, emotional…yes, "fine" about covered it.

Suddenly a piece of paper with her notes on it covered the book she had in front of her, it was what she'd been working on but notes weren't the only thing she had on it. "Roland was right, you are quite the artist." She felt herself turn red as she looked at the simple sketch, a doodle really, that she'd drawn on the corner of the page when she'd gotten sidetracked. It was the one memory that she had of all three of them being together for a happy reason. The docks, after they'd gotten back from Neverland. She'd had to use her imagination to put herself into it, but she remembered that day so well she knew she'd gotten the wrinkles in Neal's shirt and the scales of Rumples dragon skinned coat just right. They were smiling, huddled around Rumple. He was smiling too. She and Neal had barely known each other when they'd come home, in fact they hadn't known each other at all, and there had been an uncomfortable element to that moment because of that fact, but…

It was the closest thing to a big happy family memory she had. When it had popped into her mind she'd felt compelled to draw it, to put it down on paper before she lost it. She hadn't meant to get sidetracked but before she'd known it an hour had passed and the drawing was there! She'd been counting on rewriting the notes before anyone had noticed and keeping the sketch for herself, but now, with Robin?

"I don't have any pictures of them," she whispered looking at it. "Of us!"

"You look happy," he commented.

She wiped her eyes, forced a smile onto her face, and moved the picture aside, determined to remain focused. "We were-are!" she corrected quickly. "We are happy. And we'll be happy again, as soon as we figure out this game Zelena is playing."

"If you don't mind me asking…" Robin said pulling a chair over to her, "I am curious how this happened," he questioned tapping the picture she'd moved. "The first time we met and I mistook you for a mistress you made your opinions about the Dark One very clear and yet all these years later, since I saw you again with his son…I suppose I wonder how you went from that to…" he reached out and pulled the picture back to her, to them, "to this."

She gazed down at the picture. At the man she loved and the man she cared for in more ways than she ever thought possible. She looked at the details she'd drawn, knowing that what she'd really drawn was only what she'd wished had happened. She wished that Neal had looked at her with the happiness he did in the picture, that he'd touched her shoulder in the familiar loving squeeze she'd come to know in their months together. And she wished she could have the gestures that she saw in the drawings, the ones she knew so well that sometimes if she closed her eyes and breathed deep for a few moments she could still feel it. The way her body felt next to his. The feel of his hand on her waist, his fingers tightening against her skin. No, she never would have thought she'd come to savor that feeling the first time she and Robin Hood had crossed paths and she couldn't really blame him for being curious she just…she just wasn't sure how much of it she was ready to start talking about. Those months in the castle, when they'd been together, they'd been heavenly, the way they'd fallen in love so fast and slowly at the same time was too intimate to tell people about. She hadn't even really been able to give Neal the details.

"People change," she explained. "He changed and so did I. We brought out the best in one another and imagining life without him is…" She didn't have to imagine what life without him would be like, she already knew what it was like to live when he wasn't. And she would never, ever, not in a million years, call that living. Even with Neal, everyday had been about surviving. She never wanted to go through it again, she never wanted him to go through it again!

"When I lost my Marian I could scarcely hold on to reality. If it hadn't been for my men, if it hadn't been for Roland, I don't know what I would have done."

"What happened to her?" she asked, all too happy to move onto a conversation she was comfortable having.

"She died. I'm afraid I don't really know how," he sighed, glancing over at Roland. "She left the men on occasion to go into the market. We lived in the woods but collecting berries and shooting wild animals will only get you so far. She'd made the trip a hundred times and always come back before dark but that night…she didn't. We went to the little town that she'd gone to the market in, to look for her, to see if there was any explanation for her disappearance but the place was burned to the ground, not a living soul for miles around.

"We checked with the neighboring villages and towns, but it was such a small little place very few were even aware it wasn't there anymore, those that weren't surprised refused to talk to us about it, out of terror or retaliation perhaps, but we never did find out what happened. We waited…night after night, weeks passed where we hoped that she'd escaped and was just waiting for the opportune time to return to us, she was clever like that, my Marian. But after a month had passed we realized that we had to accept the situation reality left us with. Marian wasn't coming back. We have no proof that she died, we never saw a body but…"

"I'm sorry, that sounds terrible it must have been difficult."

"The first few days were intolerable, the not knowing nearly drove me mad, I kept thinking if I'd only gone with her...she always asked, but there were always other things I was insistent upon doing! If I'd just agreed to go with her one time then...maybe...but…after a few months you learn to cope. To distract yourself, to take joy in the little things," he smiled at Roland, "to enjoy what you have left and be grateful for it every day. You would know…" Robin stated, "you're probably one of the few that would."

Yes and no. She knew what it was like to be without people she loved, certainly, but what Robin was describing wasn't what she'd felt when Rumple had died. That feeling…the moment the dagger had killed him…she'd remember that feeling for her entire life! And she was certain, still, that she would have felt it anywhere she'd been, standing with him on that street or worlds away, and known what it meant because of their bond. What Robin was describing, his uncertainty, waiting and looking for Marian, trying to figure out what had happened to her…if it was true love he would have felt something. She had no doubt that he had loved the woman, Rumple had loved others before her in different ways, but that didn't mean that he'd never love again. It wasn't a guarantee he would of course, but…if she wanted to be positive now then she had to think positive about every aspect of her life, every life she encountered. Marian was gone. It wasn't too late for someone else to come along and steal the thief's breath away, to put new light back into his world, to love Roland as her own…just as she'd loved Neal.

But until that day love came in all forms. Neal had been the one to teach her that. Romantic love, the kind she shared with his father was really only one small part of the love she knew. Friendship. Lust. True. Even "like". It was all part of what kept Robin, and her, even Neal, going when it would be all too easy to lie down and die. Roland. Neal. Henry. Unexpected relationships pushed to the brink and forged by fire for an eternity. She couldn't give up on Neal now. Or Rumple, or Roland, or the baby…much as she hated to admit it she couldn't even give up on Zelena, for Regina's sake.

"You and I are similar," Robin went on, turning back to her after staring at his son for too long, letting her know that for a few moments he hadn't been in the library with her or even Roland, but back reliving the days after Marian had gone missing. "We both understand in some way what it means to have happiness stolen from us, which is why I wonder…worry I suppose about you up here so often."

She furrowed her eye brows, tearing her gaze away from the lazy doodle she'd drawn and looking over at him, confused. He was worried about her here in the library? That was something she never thought she'd hear. "What do you mean?" she questioned.

He sighed, his eyes darted to Roland, checking again, then looked back at her with guilt, as if he didn't know what to say to her, how to answer that question. It only made her more curious. What worried him so much? "When Marian disappeared I searched everywhere for her, and it wasn't until my men pointed out to me that I was blaming myself for something I'd had no control over that I realized what I was doing."

Guilt. Her guilt. That was what was bothering him! He didn't want her to feel guilty about what had happened in the forest, he feared she would because he had felt it and wanted to spare her…it was far too late for that! Guilt had been driving nearly all of her actions since she returned to the castle after she and Neal had failed! Guilt was still driving her, just as it had driven him when Marian had died. It was a concern, a kind concern, but unnecessary because there was nothing to be done about it. She'd live with the choices she made for the rest of her life no matter how all this turned out.

"This is different," she answered, shoving her sketch aside and looking at her notes once more. "I could have stopped him, I should have done more to stop him!" she admitted, quickly making herself busy in a book, she really didn't like thinking or even speaking about what had happened that night. It only made her question everything, go back to a place she was determined not to go, to the place Ruby had dragged her out of kicking and screaming months ago. The future. She had to think about the future.

"From the little I know of the Dark One's son I doubt you could have done anything to stop him."

"No!" she argued, making Roland jump and glance up to where she was. She lowered her voice when he saw that everything was alright. "There is always something more to be done," she whispered, the emotions charging through her system making her wish that Robin would just leave! She was perfectly fine when people didn't insist that they talk about it. And right now, they needed her to be fine, to work hard. "Why are you bringing this up now?" she asked looking at him.

Robin Hood smirked, making her nerves itch because she couldn't imagine why he was even partially smiling at a time when she felt her burden resting their on her shoulders. "Because I recognize that look in your eyes," he answered. "Desperation, hopelessness, you don't have to worry you're good at concealing it and I doubt anyone but someone who has experienced it would recognize it behind your cleverly crafted mask, but I wanted you to know that if you even wanted to talk I am around.

"Loneliness can, unfortunately, easily turn into self-exile and isolation. I didn't know how deep into that forest I'd wandered until my friends guided me out, changed the angle, forced me to look at myself from a different perspective and when I did I faced the tragic truth that I couldn't change what had happened to Marian. But I was responsible for how I responded to it, for my son, and for our future. Knowing that helped, it didn't rid me of my guilt completely, but it did allow me to move on.

Move on. A different perspective. Change the angle….

An idea clicked somewhere in her head.

It was horrible, she felt terrible for it, that Robin was giving her kind and caring advice and in the midst of it she'd been thinking about work simply to cope. But it was good wasn't it. He was trying to get her to move on…and she felt like she just had, though probably not in the way that he'd wanted her too.

Before he'd come in she'd feared that she'd hit a dead end, now she knew that she hadn't run into a brick wall, she simply had to find a different path, and she knew which one to take.

Rumple, she had to go back to Rumple. Maybe it was true that she'd learned everything she could on Zelena, everything that was available to her, but that didn't mean they were out of options, she just had to look at it from a different angle.

Rumple.

Maybe she couldn't remove magic from Zelena, but was it possible to remove it from the Dark One? Some way to free Rumple from the dagger without killing him so they could take his power away from her? Could she find a spell, or a potion, or…

Better yet. Courage. A Baby. Those were the specific ingredients they knew Zelena was after! Magic. She had too many books on magic to count at her disposal! Could she find what Zelena was working on? Could she figure out her plans and create a dead end of her own, buy them more time, create a distraction?! She didn't know. But she knew she had a to try. There was a new path laid out before her. She had to see where it led.

"Belle?" Robin asked reaching out and touching her shoulder. "Are you alright you look pale?"

She nodded, all too happy to let the wave of overwhelming excitement drown out her painful guilt. "You're right. Maybe I couldn't control what happened then," she realized, announcing it to Robin, feeling herself stand just a little taller, "but I can do my best to control what happens now!" she smiled, hoping he could see just how happy she suddenly was. Not one path but two, and one was the path she and Neal had taken themselves and failed. Maybe this time she'd be successful. Maybe this time, she didn't have to walk that lonely road by herself.

"I have work to do, will you help me with the books?" she asked the thief. It took a minute, a moment of careful examination where she realized he was searching her gaze for the traits he'd just warned her about, but he must not have seen it. She certainly didn't feel it, at least! Not at the moment! And excuse to look into freeing Rumple that was for the good of everyone involved! She'd been waiting for this for months!

Finally, Robin smiled, in his typical kind and gentle manner and nodded. "It would be my genuine pleasure, milady."


	60. A Difficult Decision

9 Months, 3 Days

Roland was patient beyond belief for such a young child! Day after day he was content to sit in the library, laying on the rug next to the fire, looking at whatever book she was able to scrounge up for him as she and Robin paged through book after book looking for spells and potions, anything that might mention the Dark One and the dagger, or something that required courage and babies.

Robin was helpful. Remarkably so for a thief that spent most of his time in the woods. He hadn't been at first, he'd needed guidance and explanation on how research worked and what reading could do for them before he'd become able to look through a book on his own and determine whether or not it was helpful. But his determination to be useful made her smile and when she looked between father and son she couldn't help but wonder if maybe it wasn't just Roland that was tired of being cooped up in the castle. Watching over his son meant he had to be where he was and if he couldn't be out helping his men, then helping her was the next best way to be useful in all of this. But no matter what his intentions or motivation, she wouldn't turn the help down. He was cutting her work nearly in half!

When they went back into the shelves and loaded themselves up with books, he went over them first. If they were relevant or if he found something that might be useful he marked the pages for her, sometimes even left parchment in the book for her to take her own notes on, then let her do the reading and writing. If the book wasn't as helpful as they thought it would be he set it aside and dutifully took them back when the stack got too big so she could continue to work.

Now…if only she could actually find something useful.

"This one tells the legend of something to remove magic," Robin commented looking over a book, "it has the ability to absorb powerful magic."

"Let me see," she took the book from him and placed it over the history she was reading on infamous wielders of dark magic. So far Rumple had come up a number of times, he'd been a teacher, mentor, even a facilitator for many of the magicians but the only thing she'd actually found out from it, concerning his power, was that there were many stories for how the Dark One had come to be, but no one truly knew how it had happened, and of course that his power was tied to a cursed dagger that no one had seen in centuries…in other words it told her nothing new. Nothing but stories, legends, and fairy tales. Anything Robin had would be welcome but…

Her heart fell as she scanned the page.

_"Legend tell of a hat formed from the strongest magic possessed by one of the most powerful sorcerers that ever lived. If used the hat has the ability to capture any magic, light or dark, within it. Once it has gained enough magic any being that wears the hat shall possess magic more powerful than all the realms. The capabilities of this tool could potentially be limitless. Though this magical instrument has not been seen for centuries and tales of its location are more numerous than the stars, leading many to question it's very existence, there is one common thread tells that the hat is guarded by the Sorcerer's Apprentice and protected by enchantments established by the unnamed Sorcerer himself…"_

She stopped there. The hat. The little box, the one Anna had the day they-

No! No, she wasn't going to think about that! That hat might be helpful but she wasn't going to waste time finding something like that or facing Anna's aunt to get it back. Besides, going back to Arendale, back to that horrible…she slammed the book shut in frustration. It wasn't worth it. She had to be a hero now and stay focused on the present and not the mistakes of her past! Because she certainly hadn't been a hero when she'd let her friend die.

"Belle," Robin questioned from across the table, eyeing her and the book she'd just closed with concern.

"Another legend," she excused sadly, handing the book back to Robin Hood. "We don't have time to go chasing after impossible things, we need facts and evidence, something solid!"

"So far all I've come across is the opposite I'm afraid. Have you found anything?"

She shook her head, looking down at the history she was looking at. "Nothing," she admitted. "Everything in here…it's…it's too sterile! Myths and legends, theory, but nothing practical and nothing like what we really need! I need books that aren't for the common library…I need…they have to be…" the books that he kept in his basement under lock and key. The books he used to work his magic. The books he didn't want anyone to find because they contained magic too terrible to speak of.

"They have to be dark," she concluded unhappily. "Or darker, at least." She didn't like it, but if that was what it was going to take, if that was what she needed to free him and save Neal…she'd do it. For her family.

"I don't think we'll find something like that in here," Robin stated, echoing her thoughts and looking around the library. "Any ideas for where to look or do we risk sending out requests again to the kingdom?"

An excellent question. The books that had been in his basement, the ones that she knew she needed, there was little doubt in her mind that most if not all of them were sitting in his castle. And experience told her that it was unlikely there were better books to use, she knew that the Rumpelstiltskin who had collected those books had done it for selfish reasons, not to keep dark magic away from others, did that mean there were copies available? Where would she even begin to look for those? And Robin was right…was it safe to ask others for those books or would Zelena find out and destroy them, or worse, come back for Roland in retaliation.

"Daddy, I'm done," Roland declared hopping up and bringing his father a piece of parchment. The idea had been hers, something Lacey had thought up when Roland started running out of books to look at yesterday. They'd found a nice set of paints and a brush, she would quickly sketch out a drawing, something simple like a horse or an elephant, and Roland made himself busy painting it as they worked. "Staying in the lines" was something he'd taken to right away. And the idea of painting, or coloring, that she'd described to Robin from their time in Storybrooke fascinated him so much he couldn't wait to see the finished product…a purple horse, running across red grass, and a blue sky. At least something made sense.

"Roland that's remarkable!" Robin praised, looking it over as though they were the long lost jewels from the Cave of Wonders.

"It's for you," he grinned.

"For me?" he responded with false curiosity. "I'll keep it forever. Would you like another? You could paint one for John or Tuck…"

Roland only shook his head. "I'm sleepy, can I have my monkey?"

She smirked. His 'monkey' was a common sight around the castle. It was the stuffed monkey Regina had created for him on their first day here. He slept with it, took it to meals, carried it from room to room, only looking around this time she noticed that it hadn't come with him this morning, but if he wanted to nap she knew he'd need the creature for comfort.

Robin nodded at the request. "Where did you leave it last?" he asked.

"In Regina's room," he answered.

That wasn't a surprise. On the few occasions that Roland wanted to go somewhere else the only one he ever felt comfortable enough to leave him alone with was Regina. It was shocking considering the two of them got along about as well as sharks and minnows. But Regina seemed to genuinely enjoy the boys company and Roland seemed to like her and the box of toys she kept in her room for him next to…

Suddenly she sat up and looked at Roland, thinking back to that time she'd watched him while they'd been away. There had been a box of toys. And next to the box of toys…books. Books on magic. And more in that little room Regina kept off to the side! They'd been right under her nose the entire time!

"Belle?" Robin asked, looking her over suspiciously.

"I know where to get the books we need!" she declared. Regina wasn't going to like it… _Screw it! _Lacey shouted rebelliously in her head. Normally she'd take a deep breath and remind herself to calm down, that if she was to the point that Lacey was breaking free she needed to relax a bit, only this time she found herself agreeing with her stubborn personality. Regina had the books she needed! The books she might need to destroy her sister, to spare Snow's baby, to set Rumple and Neal free! If she had a problem with sharing them with her…she'd go to the Charmings. They'd reason with her like they always had. She still wouldn't like it, but…tough.

"Belle!" Robin shouted as she stood up, unwilling to give her courage the opportunity to waver. "Where are you going?"

"To get Roland's monkey," she shouted over her shoulder, and to see what else she might find.

In all fairness she was polite and knocked first. She knocked twice when she didn't get an answer, but then decided she couldn't wait and pushed open the door. "Regina?" she called out, letting her voice echo around the dark chamber. No. She wasn't there. But Roland's monkey was, sitting there on top of the toy chest she had, waiting for him, and just where she'd seen it the last time she'd been in, there was the pedestal, with a book already resting upon it. Under normal circumstances she'd wait, come back later when Regina was around, but she'd wasted enough time. Snow was six months pregnant. They were running out of time and so far there was nothing to tell her that waiting to discuss taking the books with Regina would be any more pleasant than it would be when she discovered they were gone.

She let herself into the room and began looking over the books she saw first. Many didn't have titles, or authors, no one wanted to claim they had any hand in writing these ancient volumes. The languages were old. The pages yellow and dusty, water damaged. But she could still read it. Foreign languages always were her specialty. She could use that to her favor. She couldn't look through every book now, that would take a bit more time, but she could take what she could carry now back up to the library and begin to sort through them. And she could exchange the ones that she didn't need with ones that she did later on. She could even-

Her jaw dropped as she looked over one in particular, a small volume, brown and gold, and there, scrawled across one page in tidy handwriting: _Rumpelstiltskin. _Her heart hammered as she looked it over. Foreign language, it looked to be elfish ruins. She'd studied them on her own growing up, because of her own genuine curiosity, she'd never mastered the symbols, but she knew enough to translate with a bit of help and if it was his…this was the book she'd start with. It had to be! And after that?

A big black tome without a single thing written on the cover.

A blue volume bound with dragon scales.

Two brown books with yellow pages in the same elfish language.

A small leather bound book that could have fit in a pocket.

Even a-

A door slammed.

"What do you think you're doing in here?!" the angry echo made her jump what felt like a mile high and she looked across the room to the door she'd come in to see Regina had pushed it open and was glaring at her across the room, a vein pulsing in her forehead.

Her instinct was to step away, to apologize, and do her best to explain herself…but she wouldn't. As soon as the flare of surprise dissolved she turned back to the table, to the stack of books she'd already set aside to take back to the library with her. The reason she hadn't gone to find Regina in the first place was because arguing with her now or later wouldn't have made a difference. She supposed she'd just have to do it now.

"Research," she answered, continuing to go through books. "Trying to figure out what Zelena is planning, trying to figure out a way to stop her, and rescue Rumple-"

"And you had to invade _my _private chambers to do that?" she snapped striding to her. "These don't belong to you!" she yelled, pulling the books she'd just stacked neatly away from her. Fortunately, that only made their argument easier. She wasn't willing to back down, wasn't willing to give up and leave these books behind if they had answers that she needed. Besides, they weren't Regina's. Not all of them at least.

Carefully she reached for the book that she'd seen first, opened it to the page with Rumple's name scrawled across the page and held it up for her to see. "Apparently some of it doesn't belong to you either," she responded.

Regina stared at the book, surprised in a completely different way than she had been before. "He gave that to me," she responded calmly after a moment of silence.

She merely closed the book and set it on the pile that Regina had moved away, the pile she still planned on taking. "And I'm taking it back. If it means defeating Zelena, getting Neal back, and rescuing Rumple I'm sure he'd want me to read them. If you have a problem with that feel free to take it up with him once we've gotten him back."

"How dare you!" Regina growled, childishly pulling the stack out of her reach again. "This isn't any of your concern! You haven't got the slightest idea what you're messing with!"

"I'm not trying to 'mess' with anything, I'm trying to figure out what Zelena is 'messing with'."

"And you think reading these will help?! I've already been through them a hundred times what do you think you'll find that I didn't?"

She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to remain calm, to not make things worse between the two of them than they already were because the truth was that if Regina ever came around and decided to help them with Zelena, she would be an asset. She only wished that Regina would see the rest of them, their collective minds, as something that could be an asset to her.

"I won't know unless I read them," she explained with strained composure. "All the books in the library are censored, they're fairy tales, stories about dark magic written by wielders of light magic, I'm certain Zelena isn't going to be bothered with anything like that so I need to look in darker places."

Regina only glared at her, strategically placing her arm on the table, barring her access to her books. "And why should I let you look in darker places?" she snarled. "Why shouldn't I stop you now, the last time you went rogue you killed your boyfriend's son and put the dagger into the hands of the most wicked-"

"_Don't _think I've forgotten what happened last time!" she snapped back at her quickly, her temper rising and her hands balling into fists at her sides. "I will never forget what happened in that clearing and for as long as I live I will have to carry those images, those feelings, with me! I don't need you to remind me what happened, trust me!" she spat out sharply, each syllable a crystal clear omission that she felt to the very core of her being.

But she wasn't the only one that felt it, clearly. Regina stared at her for a while, didn't say a word as if she was too shocked to speak back, but finally the sorceress rolled her eyes at her and moved aside, granting her access to the books that she'd stacked neatly on the table. "Fine," she growled. "But what I don't understand is that if that memory is so seared into your mind then why not just leave it to us?"

She turned back to face the Evil Queen again. She knew why she wasn't just leaving it to them. What she couldn't understand was why Regina didn't understand it yet. "Because I don't leave messes for other people to clean up," she stated firmly.

"Huh," the Evil Queen glared, looking her over as if she was impressed by what she'd just said in some strange way. "The bookworm's got teeth."

She bit her tongue at the comment. It felt like she was being baited, challenging her to a fight, if only verbally, and she wouldn't give into her taunts. If she wanted to play childish games like that, she'd leave. So she picked up her books, held them all secure in her arms, and turned to the door to leave, only…

Only she couldn't.

The bookworm had teeth. No, it wasn't teeth that she had, it was self-respect! She was just finally done being afraid of Regina, of playing this game that they were two sworn enemies that happened to be thrown together and forced to live in the same castle. What they'd been before they'd been brought back to the Enchanted Forest was all ancient history and in her opinion it was only going to be over when one of them stopped acting like they weren't just tolerating each other, but wanted to help one another as friends did. She'd tried to help before, wrong time, wrong place…but at a time like this there might never be a right time or place. Maybe all she needed to be was insistent. To never give up.

"Did you ever wonder why Neal and I had to do what we had to do?" she asked suddenly, rounding on the woman again.

She stared at her for a second, like she was a bug, an annoying pest in her way, but she held her ground. "Well, the obvious answer would be to get Rumpelstiltskin back and go get Henry, but now that I think of it the word 'selfish' comes to mind-"

"No, not 'why', like why we did it, 'why' as in why we had to keep our plans secret, steal bits and pieces of information even supplies?" she corrected, choosing to ignore her initial stab. "It was because no one ever once bothered to try and help us," she informed her after a few moments of silence. "No one ever tried to listen to us or understand, we were all on our own."

"You did that to yourselves," she drawled, turning away from her.

"Everybody did it to each other! Just like you said!" she corrected, yelling uselessly at Regina's back. Neal had explained this to her once so perfectly, now she wished that he could be around to explain it to the Evil Queen but if he couldn't be...she'd have to be the next best thing. "Everyone was so keen on working together after Henry got kidnapped but the moment we returned here, the moment we lost that one connection to one another, everyone started looking out for themselves again as if it had never happened, believing their way was the right way. You wanted to stay far away from Henry and anything that reminded you of him. Snow and David got pregnant and resumed control of the Kingdom. Neal and I just wanted our family back."

"The curse was always meant to divide," Regina muttered over her shoulder.

"No," she insisted, shocked that Regina still saw as a consequence of the curse she'd cast. Maybe it was, at the moment she really couldn't be sure it wasn't, but she refused to believe that magic could have that deep an effect on them. It wasn't just magic that had separated them. "We allowed ourselves to be divided. Didn't anyone ever stop to consider what might have happened if we didn't just let that happen? If we had listened to one another instead of giving each other 'space' and 'time'? Do you ever consider how much differently things might have turned out? Maybe, if we'd looked after one another we might still be that same family we were in the cemetery the night we figured out Pan's plan."

"We were never family," Regina insisted, just as she had the day Snow and Charming had announced her pregnancy. She'd let her convince her she was wrong then, that they weren't a family, but she wasn't going to believe it this time around. That feeling she'd had at the graveyard, looking around at all of them, it had been real! And she wasn't going to leave until Regina saw it her way!

"Not a conventional one, no," she admitted. "But as much as we all hate to admit it we are family in one way or another because of _your _son. And the moment we all lost him we started acting as though he had never existed. We stopped working together and that was where everything fell apart…before Zelena ever came into our lives.

"So I'm making the choice to be part of that family again, whether everyone else wants to or not, and deep down…I think they do. So I'm going to see if I can figure out what Zelena is planning to help all of us including you because no one has gotten anywhere this year working on their own! And if you don't like it the least you can do is not get in my way!" she concluded, hiking her books up in her arms.

"Neal and I made a mistake," she muttered, looking over her bounty when she realized Regina wasn't fighting her in any way at the moment. "We made a lot of mistakes but I would think you more than anyone else would understand the value of second chances."

And with that she turned to leave, the smile on her face growing with every step she took. It felt good, to get all that out of her head and heart. It was still there of course, but somehow she knew it was over. Whether Regina liked her or not, whether she believed it or not, she felt a shift in the air of the room. She wouldn't mock her over what had happened again! She knew-

"Wait!" Regina yelled just before she could leave the room. Well, she thought she wouldn't mock her again. She turned back to look at Regina, who was glancing over her smaller form. Suddenly she made proud strides forward, back to her usual demeanor, only instead of saying something she looked at the books she'd gathered up in her arms and shook her head. "Follow me," she muttered, before turning her back on her again. Against nearly every instinct she had she followed the Evil Queen, back into the tiny room that they'd used when they examined David's sword.

"If you're going to do this you're going to need a few more things," Regina commented over her shoulder, walking over to another bookcase and pulling a few more thick volumes out for her. "A couple of the basics," she explained, nestling them into her arms, "I can't have you running to ask me questions every time you come across why something or other is needed. And this key," she held up her right hand to show her a small brass key, impossibly small for this world but easily hidden up a sleeve or in a corset. "This is the key to a room hidden in the back of the library, it'll give you more access to spell books darker than these, the spell books I don't keep out in the open for bookworms with nasty attitudes to just walk in and take at their convenience. Make sure, whatever you do Roland stays far away from it. Now, just one last thing…"

She bit her tongue again, ignoring the comment as she took the tiny key in her hand and Regina turned back to her table. Books hidden away. Exactly like what Rumple had. That was precisely what she needed! So what else did Regina want to give her? She watched as the sorceress plucked a bottle off a shelf of small flasks and vials of colorful liquids too numerous for her to count.

"If you're going to explore the darker side of magic I should warn you it's not all sunshine and kisses," she warned menacingly. "Some of it is bound to turn your stomach, especially when you look into what involves babies. This might come in handy," she commented, putting a stopper on it and settling it down within her burden. "Just take it in sips and you'll get through it."

"I'm not delicate," she argued, offended at the suggestion. "I don't faint at the sight of blood or-"

"The moment you can get through some of what you're going to read without feeling a bit queasy," Regina interrupted, "that's the moment you need to walk away. Trust me."


	61. Troubling Revelations

9 Months, 3 Weeks

These were the books that she needed! Dark magic. Spells that turned her stomach. Potions that rotted her soul. Myths and legends that made her cringe. Yes, if there was anything that she needed to be reading in order to solve this, it was these books! Unfortunately, they were also the books that it Regina appeared to need as well. Or at least that was what she claimed when she showed up in the library once a day, then twice a day, then morning, afternoon, and night nearly like clockwork, looking over her shoulder at her notes, giving Roland toy after toy, and scowling at Robin whenever he dared to make a comment about what they were talking about.

"'A spell of passion can only be countered by its contrary…'" she mused aloud one night.

"It's a theory," Regina explained in the bored voice that was as close to pleasant as she was sure they were ever going to get. "But unfortunately it's only a theory, something never proven, made up to explain the magic that seems to follow True Loves Kiss."

"We don't know why True Loves Kiss exists?"

Regina rolled her eyes. "If we did we wouldn't need theories to attempt to explain it now would we?"

Robin Hood opened his mouth to argue back with her but Roland chose that moment to run up to her and show her a picture he'd finished drawing. They watched as she happily scooped the boy up, set him on her lap, and with a wave of her hand made the picture on the paper come to life. The horse ran across the field he'd drawn, making Roland laugh and smile until it ran off into the distance over a hill, disappearing from view.

"Maybe he'll come back if you draw him a friend," she encouraged.

"Yeah!" Roland shouted, quickly snatching the drawing back and running back over to his place by the fire. Robin had closed his mouth and given up on fighting with her, not even he could do it when she acted so abnormally sweet around Roland. But no matter how sweet she was to him, no matter how surprising it was, she had to remain focused, she had to get her answers.

"The theory is that to put someone under a curse it requires hatred," she said, talking through it aloud, "so...a kiss of true love is able to reverse it?"

"The contrary of hatred is love, yes," Regina clarified. "But again, it's never been proven."

She smirked, thinking back on the time they'd last discussed the topic of True Loves Kiss, long before she'd ever known Regina's name or who she even was then. "Is that why you wanted me to go back to Rumpelstiltskin?" she questioned with curiosity. "You thought I'd rid him of his curse."

"More or less," she admitted with a proud smirk, as if she was reminiscing of a wonderful time in her life instead of the moment she'd changed hers irrevocably. "Mostly I was focused on the possibility of being the one to finally beat Rumpelstiltskin so I could claim the title of most powerful practitioner of magic in all the realms for myself," she answered, reaching forward and picking up a book, the one she'd set aside long ago by Baum because she simply had no more use for it. Regina however paused and looked it over sadly, her smile fading fast. "Yet another dream that was never meant to be," she scowled suddenly tossing the book aside again. She had an urge to reach out and touch her shoulder, comfort her, but the memory of how she'd used her to hurt Rumple for such a selfish ambition held her back. It was in the past, she could put it behind her, but she didn't want to let her think that her actions had been harmless and she completely forgave her either. She would never have been the most powerful sorceress in all the realms because Zelena was clearly stronger than she was. She'd have to live with that knowledge, just as she had to live with what had happened when she'd listened to Regina and helped her enact that plan.

"Wait!" Robin muttered next to her. "True Love's Kiss breaks curses?"

Regina let out an irritated sigh. "Isn't that what we've been saying?"

"Yes," she answered politely for the Evil Queen.

"Couldn't you use a kiss to free the Dark One from Zelena's imprisonment then? He wouldn't be held captive if that dagger had no sway-"

"No," she answered already shaking her head. She'd already thought of it, she'd thought of it nearly every night before she'd gone to bed but the answer was always clear. She just couldn't chance it, for Neal's sake. "It might work but if I remove the magic I might risk Neal being trapped forever inside his head. If I've read this book right," she explained motioning to the thick volume sitting in her lap, "certain spells are only able to be undone by the magician that enacted them. I can't find a reference for what Rumple did to Neal in any of these books so until I do I have to assume that he's the only one capable of reversing the magic…right?"

Regina looked her over carefully, almost skeptically. "Startlingly enough you're right. It's all based in conjecture, but accurate cautious conjecture I would conclude for myself. Fascinating…and…frightening," she muttered turning back to the books. She had to fight to stop from beaming. She'd gotten it right, she'd learned a craft that wasn't her own in only a matter of weeks, and Regina seemed impressed! "Fascinating and frightening" was probably about as close to a compliment as she'd ever get from her former nemeses. Now if only she could figure out-

"Good, you're here!" The three of them, looked over to the door to see David looking at them from the doorway. "We need to have a meeting...now! Robin, you might want to come too since you're here." Without another word he disappeared out the door and they wasted no time in gathering up Roland and following after him down the hallway, up the stairs, and into the room they'd been using for their secret meeting spot. And as soon as they stepped inside she saw why it was so important to meet right away.

"Ruby!" she sighed, launching forward and happily wrapping her friend up in a hug. "It's so good to see you," she muttered to her.

"It's good to see you too!" she whispered back. Ruby was back. She was alright, she was whole. It was a relief! Nothing happened to her! She'd worried for nothing! They'd gotten out alright, they'd gotten back in alright. That was her idea! Maybe she could do this! Maybe they did stand a chance at figuring this out! Maybe there really was hope after all!

"Red!" she moved aside as Snow came in and embraced her the same way as she had.

"I swear you get bigger every day!" Ruby smiled.

"I feel bigger every day!" Snow answered.

"Let's make sure she stays that way," Granny commented from her spot at the table. "We're all here now, tell us what you learned."

Ruby's face fell at her grandmother's insistence and somehow she knew that what she'd learned hadn't been good. "I wish I had more to tell you," she muttered.

"Did you learn anything?" David asked.

Ruby nodded. "I went back to the castle you remembered Snow. It's in ruins, no one is living there now but there were a few villages close by, rebuilding, and we investigated them, asking if anyone knew Cora or remembered the millers daughter, like you suggested Belle."

"Did you find anyone?" David questioned.

"For goodness sake let the woman talk!" Regina growled from across the room, staring into the fire with a detached expression on her face, fighting the urge to look at the people she had to know were staring at her. She'd nearly forgotten she was in the room, it appeared nearly everyone had, and she wished there was an easier way to do this, a way that didn't include making Regina's wounds worse than they already were…but she was staying. If she didn't think she could handle it she would have left by now, just as she had when they'd spoken of this before they'd all left, before she'd had that argument with her in her chambers. Painful as it was, Regina being here was a step in the right direction. She deserved that much.

"Did they know anything about Zelena?" she questioned Ruby, hoping she'd understand her discreet message to focus more on Zelena than Cora's life story.

"We asked if they knew anything about Zelena, they didn't seem to know directly about the baby but once we put the idea into their heads things…made sense to them," she answered awkwardly, casting small glances at Regina. "There was a story that a few villagers remembered. As it turns out Prince Henry was not the first time that Cora was engaged to a prince."

"What?!" Regina questioned, taking quick angry strides in Ruby's direction.

"Who?" Snow breathed with wide eyes looking as though scandal just fallen over the house.

Ruby opened her mouth and looked between Snow White and Regina, then took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Leopold."

"No-"

"-yes-"

"-no! She's lying!"

"No, I'm not Regina but I wish I was!" Ruby shouted over her. "I'm sorry," she muttered when she finally went silent, "but the villagers remember very clearly that she was nearly engaged to the King to…" Ruby struggled with words and gave a telling glance back over to Snow White.

"Engaged to my husband?!" Regina finished for her. "Engaged to the man that became her daughters husband?!"

Ruby opened her mouth, but closed it quickly, choosing instead to simply nod in confirmation. She had to admit, the idea was disturbing. She hadn't exactly had a good opinion of Cora before, now she just thought she was sick! And Regina…

Regina was struggling. No one in the room spoke, offering her the silence to have her thoughts and emotions. She wasn't sure about the kind of relationship she'd had with the man she referred to only as "her husband" somehow she suspected it was never a good one but either way, this was a startling thing to discover about her mother and her husband! But, much to her surprise, she managed to handle it. She didn't walk away, she didn't leave, but she didn't appear detached or emotionless either. For a few moments she worried that Regina might actually hit Ruby, that the fists she had balled at her sides were going to slam into the girl if she simply breathed wrong but after a few moments her hands released, her jaw unclenched, and the only sign left of her tension was the vein throbbing in her forehead.

"What happened?" she demanded quietly. "Why didn't he marry her?"

Every eye turned to Ruby, who had managed to hold her ground against the angry sorceress. "No one knew," she answered gently. "The royals kept the entire affair quiet. One day the miller's daughter was engaged and the next she wasn't. There was a rumor that it had something to do with theft and trickery, fraud, but she was never formerly accused of the crimes or punished for them. There was nothing on the public record, not that those were easy to find. But what people did remember was her wearing bigger clothes and staying inside more, she quit her job at the tavern, they'd assumed that she was simply depressed but after we told them we were looking for another baby…"

"They realized she was pregnant," Snow finished for her.

Ruby nodded. "She disappeared for a couple of months then returned in time to later marry Henry after the entire affair had blown over still there was no record of another child in the histories we found. Regina…for the little it's worth…I am sorry-"

"Don't give me your pity," Regina muttered, looking Ruby over with anger, but instead of advancing she moved away, back to the fireplace. No one said anything for the longest time, just stared at each other, looking too shocked to speak! Snow White looked pale, the story of her father too much for her to take in. But Regina just stood over the fireplace looking…broken.

"We figured," Ruby continued on slowly after the silence, "that the child wasn't Leopold's."

"Of course not!" Regina shouted from the fireplace, keeping her back to them, not bothering to face them. "Cora was smart if she got pregnant by the King she'd have used it as blackmail and been married to the prince by the end of the week."

Snow seemed to ease at the pronouncement but Regina…she wasn't sure Regina believed herself. She was just trying to settle, to offer an explanation, to convince herself that Zelena wasn't her half-sister and her step daughter all at once. It was a disturbing thought. However, the explanation she'd offered was a good one, considering everything she knew about Cora, and she liked to think that if it was the case Cora would never have allowed her daughter to marry Leopold. But clever and logical explanation as it was, it wasn't certain. Unless there was ever any assurance that Leopold wasn't the father, she'd have to carry that burden with her.

"Did you learn anything else?" David questioned, pressing the conversation onward. "How to destroy her-"

"The people we spoke to didn't even know Cora had a child until we informed them there was more than Regina. If she has a weakness…they can't help us…"

She could feel a wave of disappointment flood the room, the people around her. Understandably so. One of three options was gone. There was nothing in Cora's past to suggest any way to beat her, to remove the threat from their lives! That meant it rested on her and anything that Grumpy and the other dwarves could wrestle up. Looking at Snow, at her pregnant belly, she hoped they had enough time. Zelena was stronger than Regina when Rumple was by her side, they all knew it. As soon as that baby was born, as soon as what she really needed was in the world…well, she suspected that what they'd seen from the witch so far was child's play, weak and lazy attempts to get David's sword and Regina's heart, more to keep them afraid than actually take what she needed. As soon as the baby was born, she had a funny feeling, they wouldn't stand a chance against her anymore.

"So what do we do now?" Robin Hood asked quietly from across the room, keeping Roland tight in his arms.

"Now we get back to work," Regina answered, silencing David before he had time to speak. "We wait for the others return and hope they have something we can use." Looking determined to stay standing, to escape the conversation she'd unwillingly been a part of Regina moved away from them quickly and instead made the motion to leave them.

"Regina-"

"Don't, Snow!" Regina snapped over her shoulder, stopping in her tracks and raising her hand as if tempted to use a bit of magic to simply make it all go away. But after a few moments of silence, a few deep breaths, the tension fled her shoulders again and Regina offered a sigh and small shake of her head. "Just…just don't," she begged. And without another word, the door slammed behind her.


	62. The Witching Hour

9 Months, 4 Weeks, 2 Days

A booming voice yelling out in the hall startled her from her sleep, making her sit bolt upright in bed, her heart racing in her chest, her body tingling in anticipation. Only…the castle was quiet. Perfectly quiet. Eerily quiet. Someone had been yelling, hadn't they? Someone had startled her awake, there was no other explanation for waking up so suddenly and in a panic…right?

She stayed quiet for a moment, listening for anything that sounded wrong, but everything was still…too still. Maybe that was the problem. It had been a little more than a week since Ruby had returned and while nearly a month since Zelena's last attack and while she had nothing to prove it, she'd had a feeling that with Snow's due date slowly creeping up on all of them she'd begin to show herself just a bit more, put a little more effort into getting the sword and heart she so desperately seemed to want! But so far…

Outside there was a long high pitched howl and she scrambled out of her bed and to the window, she pulled back the curtains and opened the glass to look out into the night. Ruby was gone tonight. It was the first night of the full moon and she'd gone out for a run. Was that what she'd heard? Ruby howling? It was just an ordinary howl wasn't it? She was simply enjoying herself wasn't she? The howl meant nothing? If it did she'd see monkeys in the sky or bodies on the ground or-

She jumped and spun around to look at her room.

The castle. The entire structure felt as though it had just shuddered as if hit by something or-

Outside! There was nothing to see but she'd heard the sound clear enough through her open window. The sound of glass breaking. Something was wrong. Something in the air simply didn't feel right. With only a second thought to grab a robe and wrap it around herself she left her room, intending to head to the King and Queen's chambers, to check on David and Snow, make sure they were alright it was normally Ruby's job to look after them and if she was gone-

The moment she turned the corner she ran into a shadowed figure.

Fear made her jump, and screech, and flail her arms at the unknown attacker until she felt fingers close over her wrists and push her back a safe distance. "Belle! Belle! It's me, stop! Stop!" the familiar voice made her stop. Little John. "I was coming to check on you and the old woman, Robin Hood sent us, he heard-"

"Glass breaking?" she finished for him. "I heard it too, it wasn't from this wing of the castle.

"The Queen!" someone screamed running footsteps suddenly echoing down the hallway toward them. Much, the one they sometimes described as "the Millers Son". He was easily the youngest of the group but probably one of the best fighters and he was flying down the hall toward both of them. "John rouse the guards! The Wicked Witch broke into Regina's room! Robin's there now!"

"And you left him there alone?!" John accused, not waiting for an answer and taking off in the direction of Regina's quarters.

"He sent me to get the others, back-up!" Much called after him. "Milady, you should barricade yourself somewhere it's safe!" Barricade herself somewhere safe? That seemed pointless. If she'd learned anything since all this began it was that if the witch wanted to get to them then nothing like a barricade against a door was going to help her. No! If Zelena was in Regina's room, if Robin needed help, if the dagger was with the witch…then she knew exactly where she needed to be. "Milady!" Much cried after her as she took off after Little John.

She ran as fast as she could tearing through hall after hall, knowing that there was little she could do against the witch other than possibly provide a distraction! If Regina and Robin where there maybe she could at least give her three people to worry about instead of two, allow one of them to take her down while she was focused on her only-

It was too late.

Regina's room was a mess. Furniture overturned, shattered glass on the floor, pieces of what appeared to be wood from the fire place and metal from a chandelier lay scattered over the floor, Robin Hood was in a heap against the wall as if he'd been thrown there and knocked unconscious and she arrived just in time to see the witch slam her hand into Regina's chest and sneer up at her as Regina stilled in shock and maybe pain. "Now I've got you by the-"

But she never found out what she "had her by" because Zelena's smile changed before her eyes to a look of confusion and shock. "No!" she shouted at Regina. "NO!" and when she pulled her hand out of her sisters chest to examine it she was shocked to discover, just as Zelena was…it was empty! "It's gone!" she screamed.

"After your last failed attempt?" Regina questioned, a proud smile growing over her face as she stared at her sister. "You didn't think I would be foolish enough to just leave it in the same place everyone keeps their heart did you?!" With a wave of her arm Zelena was thrown back as though a giant had just punched her in the stomach and sent her flying backward huddled on the ground.

She wasn't dead, she wasn't even knocked out. But the sisters stared at each other as if they were the only two people in the room. A muscle twitched in Zelena's jaw and for the briefest moment she thought she saw tears gather in her eyes. Hot and angry they grew as she grimaced as Regina advanced.

She took the opportunity to move into the room, to carefully avoid the sharp glass on the ground and kneel down besides Robin Hood and give his shoulder a shake. There was a trickle of blood running down the back of his neck but she didn't see any injury. Still, the next time she gave him a small shake she was careful not to jostle him too much for fear he'd-

Zelena moved. But not of her own free will. Still shocked by what had happened Regina had used her magic to pin her against the wall, inches above the ground and hold her there, arms out, neck exposed. "You went digging into my past!" Zelena cried with her teeth clenched together, sounding more like an angry sibling than the wicked witch the stories she'd read told her she was.

"It's just as much my past as it is yours!" Regina argued continuing her advance. "And you gave us little choice in the matter…Sis!" she snapped angrily.

Zelena gave what almost sounded like a sad sniff, an attempt to muster her courage, her pride. "It doesn't matter," she reasoned. "You won't succeed! You can't!" she wailed like a toddler. And then-

Zelena broke her invisible bonds and with a loud shriek. She fell to the ground easily and in the blink of an eye tossed Regina back, sending her crashing into the opposite, her nightgown billowing around her like a cotton cloud.

"Regina!" A glance over at the door showed David, standing there with his sword in hand…no not his sword. Another one. Which meant the real one was with Snow White, safely "barricaded" away somewhere in the castle. David was dwarfed by merry men, armed coming to Robin's aid. Aid she was sure he desperately needed.

"Don't move an inch!" Zelena yelled, threatening them with nothing but a raised arm.

Bad. This was bad. Very bad!

"Robin," she muttered, squeezing his shoulder and arm, trying to wake him up so he could at least move or try to defend himself should she round on them! "Robin Hood, please wake up!" she hissed.

A fire, brilliant and blinding suddenly flared to life on it's own in Regina's fireplace as Zelena sneered. "Where is your heart Regina?!" Zelena demanded. "Tell me now or I'll burn this entire palace and everyone within it to the ground!"

"You can burn it all you want!" Regina declared, her hair a wild mess around her face. "All you'll do is forever lose the knowledge of where my heart is and kill the mother of the child you so desperately need!"

"Ah!" Zelena cried, moving quickly to wrap her own hand around Zelena's neck.

A groan next to her made her heart skip a beat. Robin Hood. He was waking up.

"Where…is…it?!" she could make out Zelena demanding through clenched teeth.

Robin Hood moved next to her. His eyes opened as his head popped up and he looked around the room, disoriented for a moment before his eyes found the men at the door, her own concerned face, and finally landed on Zelena and Regina on the opposite side of the room.

"It's not here!" she heard Regina growl.

She made an effort to help Robin stand, to get him away and make sure he wasn't too seriously injured but he only moved away from her, tucking her safely behind him as he crawled forward quietly for something.

His bow.

"My heart is in the forest. Safe. Where you and your winged minions will never find it!"

She watched in silence as Robin pulled an arrow from the quiver still on his back and fit it slowly and quietly into his bow.

"You're lying," Zelena hissed.

"Am I?" Regina questioned with a happy smile.

The sound of an arrow cutting through the quiet air filled the space and she held her breath as she waited for the impact, for Robin to deliver the death blow that would end all of it-

Until Zelena threw her arm back as if to catch it and the arrow stopped in mid air just before it could cut through her back and pierce her heart. It was Ruby throwing the knife at her all over again. Except this time the wooden rod didn't fall lifeless to the ground as the knife had.

With an unnatural grace she watched as Zelena finally turned her eagle eyes over to Robin, as she held the arrow there in front of her and rounded on them. Robin rose and stepped forward, shielding her with his body just as Neal would have months ago as he quickly drew another arrow and placed it in the bow, the with the look Zelena had on her face she felt as though it was a useless action.

Zelena had recovered from the shock of Regina's missing heart. She was collected, and cool, and clearly angrier than she'd ever seen her. For a moment she feared that arrow was about to bury itself in Robins chest, that she'd use it to kill him, but suddenly the arrow burst into flame and Zelena laughed in a way that made her shiver. "You think arrows, or swords," she snapped looking over at David, "or your little magic tricks are good enough to stop me?!" she questioned glancing at Regina.

"As long as I have my magic, as long as I have this…none of you stand a chance." The dagger. She had it in her hand suddenly. She hadn't even seen her pull it out of anywhere it had just appeared there in her hand as if she'd summoned it! Could she do that? Could the dagger be summoned that easily? Was there any way for her to get it back?

"You may have won this battle, little sister," Zelena mocked, "but I promise you, the war is far from over and I will win it! And I will get your sword, your child," she said glancing at David, "and I will have your heart Regina if it is the last thing I do!"

"And I will be there fighting to my last breath to make sure it is the last atrocity you ever commit," Regina growled from her place on the ground. "Mark my words, if I go down I'll take you with me and it'll all be worth it!"

"Resilience!" Zelena cackled. "You get that from our dear mother. But that's exactly what I'm counting on the next time I come after you!"

"It's not just Regina, Zelena," she glanced over to find David advancing toward her, step by courageous step, sword raised and ready for battle. "You come after her you come after all of us!"

"This is my fight, Charming!" Regina shouted in David's direction.

"Not anymore!" he responded. "That all changed the moment she decided she wanted our child and took Neal from us."

"Enough of this," Zelena commented, sounding almost bored. With the smallest curve of her finger, every bow, arrow, sword, even a couple knives flew from their owner's hands and landed with sharp clatters and dull claps against the floor. "Your courage is…alluring," Zelena muttered advancing on David. "Had things been different I think you would have made a prime specimen, though clearly I made the right choice in passing you up for your brains, dear. Because you've forgotten once more the most important thing.

"I'm not alone either! All of you seem to keep forgetting that willing or not I have the Dark One on my side and the only reason I haven't sent him to collect on your heart, dear sister," she snapped rounding on Regina once more, "is because when I hold your heart, your life in the palm of my hand, I want to look you in the eyes and savor that feeling with every inch of my being!" she hissed making Regina sneer.

"What did I ever do to you?" Regina spat in her sisters direction.

Zelena seemed to tremble then, with rage so deep it was as if her body simply couldn't hold it in anymore. "You were born!" she growled. "I will get your heart, Regina, and once I have it there will be nothing you can do to stop me from changing that!"

She was capable of pulling objects out of thin air; at least that was what it looked like from her position behind Robin Hood. In the blink of an eye the dagger was exchanged for that broom that she felt she'd seen far too much of over the last few months and with it in hand once more Zelena walked over to a window that she just now noticed was broken, perhaps the place she'd originally gotten into, with eerie composure and control. And just as she took a seat on the filthy old thing, she took a final glance at David, leaning forward as if suddenly interesting in some conversation they were having. "Oh and dear," she said with false kindness, "that wife of yours has been looking a bit pale, too much stress. Perhaps it's best if you get her to rest of a bit. We wouldn't want anything to happen to that tiny miracle inside of her now would we?!" And with a final joyful giggle she flew out of the window.


	63. Flaming Anger

10 Months

Upon Zelena's departure those that were in the room seemed frozen, unable to tear their eyes away from the broken window she'd left through. It wasn't until Robin let out a painful sigh, put his hand to his head, and swayed on the spot that anyone moved. They caught him before he could collapse. The merry men ran over to the pair of them and helped to lower him gently to the ground as David ran around them to the broken window and Regina scrambled up and over to the fallen thief.

Immediately she placed her hand on the back of his head, the place she'd seen the blood pouring out of his hair. She healed him in only a breath and Robin looked up and around, blinking his eyes as if seeing everything in the room for the first time.

"Better?" the Queen asked.

"Much better, yes," he answered. "Thank you."

Regina only snorted and quickly got to her feet. "Maybe that will teach you not to try and be a hero or at least not to get between me and my sister."

"I got a solid shot in," he argued quickly.

"It hit her in the shoulder! It took her all of one second to heal herself and send you flying into the wall."

"I'm alive aren't I?"

"Only because of me! She fractured your skull! I think the upper hand belongs to-"

"Is she gone?" Belle asked quickly, looking over to David, who was practically hanging out the window, searching the sky. The last thing they needed right now was for Robin and Regina to start arguing like children. Now was not the time.

"Difficult to say," David answered. "I can't see her, but the sky is too dark to tell for sure. But just to be safe, Little John, Snow is locked with Granny and Roland in our common room-"

"Much, Arthur, go with him to free them and search the castle," Robin finished for David.

"Absolutely, Robin," John nodded, then left with two of the merry men, finally allowing Robin to rise.

"Mmm," Regina piqued. "It's like having minions of your own. Next time you should try bonding over that with her instead of shooting arrows, you might have better luck."

"Are you alright?" she questioned Robin Hood quickly, once more stepping between the two of them before they could begin to bicker. But just as Rumple had once healed her perfectly, she didn't even see a trace of the blood she'd seen earlier.

"Exceptional," he commented, "my pride's a bit damaged though."

"You earned that yourself," Regina growled.

"For the record," David stated behind them, interrupting, she suspected, for the same reason she had, "I'm not comfortable with you threatening Zelena with the lives of my wife and unborn child," he stated draping a blanket over Regina's shoulders, a silent reminder that it was the middle of the night and Zelena had attacked them in their sleep. How on earth were they supposed to guard against that from now on? They could raise a protection spell but Regina had gotten rid of that idea months ago because it could be seen for miles away and she didn't want to worry the surrounding villages. Most were still in the dark about Zelena and besides, they were sisters and her magic appeared stronger, she might be able to break through.

"Well, forgive me for trying to save all of our lives!" she yelled, wrapping the blanket around her. "It was a spur of the moment comment to throw her off and it seemed to work…maybe too well," she muttered touching her hand to her throat. It had been a frightening motion. Killing with magic was one thing. Zelena reaching out and wrapping her own bare hands around Regina's neck…that was so much sloppier, more personal. It was more a loss of control than she had expected Zelena capable of.

"Regina, Charming!" Snow White cried out rushing into the room as best she could with her arms closed over her stomach. "Are you alright? What happened?" she asked moving over to them, choosing her steps carefully so she didn't step on a piece of glass or metal shrapnel.

"Excellent question," David commented, taking his place by her side as he took his real sword from her. "Regina, what did happen?"

"Well, obviously she attacked me in the middle of the night!" she answered. "I couldn't sleep so I came in here, laid down, and finally fell asleep. Luckily I happened to roll over and she was just there standing over me! I surprised her and managed to hold her off for a little while before he showed up."

"Robin!" Snow gasped looking at him surprised. "How did you know?"

"Roland woke me and said he heard strange noises, but when I awoke the castle was too quiet. I calmly asked my men to take a quick look around and make sure everything was in order. Lucky for us this was one of the first places we looked."

"I heard glass breaking," Belle commented.

"That was me," Regina drawled glancing to the window she'd just left from and beaming. "I tried to impale her so she wouldn't get to my heart…not that it matters," she said pressing her hand to her chest. "There was nothing there for her to take this time around."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Snow White questioned timidly looking concerned at the woman.

"Regina," David muttered, "you really left your heart unprotected in the forest?!"

"The forest! The Regina tell me you didn't-"

"No, of course not!" she shouted above the two of them. Suddenly Regina dropped the blanket from her shoulders and moved for around everyone quickly. She threw open doors that were locked tight against her wall and everyone followed after her into the never before seen room filled with…golden squares? No. Not squares. Neatly stacked boxes. At Regina's touch one of the boxes slid out of the wall and it's lid popped open like a pirates treasure chest. Chests! Chests with lights and chests without that glinted and shimmered out at them.

She watched as Regina reached into the one she'd just opened and withdrew from it a glowing red and black heart, beating, pulsing there in her hand. It wasn't a real heart. She knew that from one of the books that she'd read recently. It was a magical copy, meant to symbolize the heart of the person that it came from. Once a person had a hold of another's heart, that person could be controlled just as Zelena was controlling Rumple with his dagger. And if they crushed it, if Zelena ever did manage to get her hands on Regina's heart and pulverize it into ash and dust, she'd die. She wanted to ruin Regina's life. Crushing her heart would certainly accomplish that.

"Your heart I assume," Robin Hood commented from behind her, staring at the glowing object just like everyone else.

"Well I wasn't actually going to leave it in the forest!" Regina muttered. "I was only bluffing, but there's no point now…" it was a strange sight, watching Regina flinch as she placed the shimmering object back inside her own chest, but she seemed to get over the shock of it soon enough and turn back to them as if she did that all the time and it was no big deal. "It's only a matter of time until she realizes it's not actually in the forest and attempts to look somewhere else. I can only put it in so many places, play this little game of keep away for so long until-"

"Your majesties!" the strange breathless voice made everyone in the room jump. It was a guard, one that looked as though he'd just run there from some far off place with a look of distress on his face. "The library…it's on fire!"

"What?!" she shrieked, stepping around Robin Hood and looking at the guard.

"We aren't sure how," he explained taking a deep breath. "Something must have sparked, we need to consider evacuating the castle-"

"Zelena!" Regina sneered. "She was angry that we were looking into her past."

"The family records are in the library," David realized. "She's trying to destroy them? Get back at us or keep us from discovering Cora was engaged to Leopold?"

"She doesn't know just how much we already know," Regina hypothesized.

She felt her jaw drop. How much they already knew. Family records weren't the only thing that risked being destroyed if the library was on fire. "My notes!" she screamed, tearing off down the halls once more, running for her library, ignoring the calls she heard behind her. She couldn't stop, couldn't listen to what they were saying. She had to save what she could! She had to save her notes, her books, the work she'd done, the book with Rumple's name, anything before the flames swallowed it all whole and Zelena won again! It couldn't all go to waste it just-

Too late.

Again.

Heat swelled over her face the moment she turned the corner to the hallway the library was in. It was gone. All of it was gone. It had to be, without a doubt in her mind. The flames were already leaking out the door, licking the stones around the wood and growing unnaturally by the second until-

Water.

A sheet of glassy water flowed over the walls, the floor, even the ceiling like a strange upside-down river that flowed into the library, fighting back the flames, containing them. Regina moved around her then, arms extended as she took each step slowly closer to her beloved chamber.

"Regina-"

"Shh!" she snapped back. It was only then that she saw her hands shaking, tension and effort flexing in her fingers. Elemental magic. She'd read that somewhere. There were some sorcerers that could only control one of the four magical elements, they were rare, called Elementals. Most sorcerers were capable of controlling all four but they typically only ever became proficient in one or two while the others could be harvested, but at the cost of great energy. Regina was proficient in fire and probably second in wind or air. She'd never told her but she'd seen enough to put that together on her own easily enough. Using water…it looked to take all of her strength to fan back the uncontrollable flames.

She walked slowly down the hall, taming the wild flames step by step until she finally stepped inside the library itself. Timidly she followed her and watched in wonder as the water spread over every surface the eye could see. The flames died down, slowly but surely. But it wasn't enough. It didn't take long for her to glance around the room and for her eyes to water with the sheer devastation of it all. The shelves, the books, her desk, all her notes, and she was sure the family records Zelena had been so intent on burying…it was all gone. Destroyed. Turned to ash and smoke and now sludge as water crept into every crevice. It was…awful. Absolutely awful!

The water pushed the flames back into the blackened fireplace then the liquid disappeared through the flu as it was a giant straw leaving nothing but steam and humid air around them and the smoldering charred remains of everything she'd worked so hard on. Gone. All of it. Just gone.

Finally Regina lowered her hands and turned back to her looking pale, sick almost. "What, exactly, did you think you were going to do again?" she snapped before leaving her alone in the blackened library.

She had no idea.


	64. What She Does Best

10 Months, 4 Days

The library was gone. It was one large tomb of scorched stone and black flaky ash. Her notes were nothing. The books were destroyed. Roland's drawings were only a memory. The chairs were a soggy mess of splintered wood. The devastation was overwhelming, or would have been if it wasn't for a surprise that faced her the first morning she returned in an effort to salvage what she could from the wreckage.

Regina.

She stood just outside the library doors, arms crossed in front of her, a scowl on her face. It was a strange look, one that she had seen before except…

Except the look on her face didn't match her eyes. Her eyes didn't look angry or bored, they looked…they looked sympathetic almost. Caring. It was as if she was trying to hide what she was really thinking and feeling behind a mask of irritation.

"You'll never get through that mess without me," she explained right away with an emotionless tone.

"I won't?" she questioned.

"Not if you want to save anything," Regina added before turning and heading into the carnage. At the first sight she didn't know what they were going to be able to do, what would be able to be saved, until she went digging through the pile of wood that had been her desk and recognized one of her books. The covered burned beyond recognition, pages singed, ink water damaged, it made her want to give in right there, to declare the situation a complete loss and figure out something new to do as she mourned. But before she could Regina had plucked the precious book out of her hand and examined it carefully.

"Well it's not exactly a prime candidate…but it's not a lost cause either."

She watched as Regina set the book down over a pile of rubble, waved her hand over it, and…

The sight nearly took her breath away. Rumple had once turned a dying blue flower into a rose before her eyes, made a potion glow, and healed her shoulder without so much as a thought but this…this was a remarkable sight all on its own.

The black soot puffed into the air as if a powerful gust of wind has blown it all away. The cover cleared, the book popped open and the pages fanned past her quickly as if an invisible researcher were trying to find something before it snapped shut and-

Regina handed it to her and she blanched as she looked it over. No, it wasn't perfect. The edges of the papers were burned away, gone forever, pieces of the cover were missing, the binding fragile, but the book was back, magically healed, every letter and image in place.

"I'm not as powerful as the almighty Dark One," Regina muttered looking her over. "I can't fix what's not there but I can mend what's broken and replace the misplaced. It's not easy, it takes a toll, but if we could locate the most important things you need we might be able to get some of it back."

Her jaw hung open and she stared at the woman as a strange feeling that she'd never had before made her want to leap forward and hug Regina with gratitude but she resisted. Instead she hugged the book to her chest and looked around her, trying to figure out where to begin and what to do. They were working together, but if Regina didn't want to acknowledge that, then she wouldn't force her too. Considering their past she barely wanted to acknowledge that they were working together! But for now, she was too grateful to push the issue, too willing to do anything she had to in order to get things done.

So she identified key places to look for remnants and set out to look for where they'd gone. The table she'd been working at. The place Robin Hood had been piling books. The sections that held the books she'd found most important. The room Regina had given her the key to. The place the family records were kept, though she noticed Regina stayed far away from exploring what was left there. She honored that and left it alone. They already knew too much about the family's dirty laundry. If Regina didn't want to uncover more…she could let that go…for a while at least.

Each day they took different sections and fell into tense silence, trying to figure out what they could save, what they couldn't, aware of the space between them, of every clock tick and sunset, by the end of the third day she was beginning to think it was over. There was a small pile of books in her room now that she might be able to use and the information was still in her head, maybe…

She flipped over a board and clapped her hands together getting rid of the soot. Something was familiar. Sticking to the board. She peeled it off gingerly and didn't know if she wanted to cry or start jumping up and down. It was the picture, the one she'd drawn of her and Rumple and Bae, preserved somehow as if by magic! The rest of the paper was a lost cost, blacker than Pan's shadow but the drawing had survived! And there, under the board. More paper. Black paper. Stiff covers that had seen better days but...these were her notes. She knew they'd be around somewhere she just had to figure out where they'd landed after the blast!

"These are important!" she called out, drawing Regina back over to her. She shifted slightly, making room for the Queen next to her on the ground and showed her the papers and small cache of goods.

But the moment she reached out to pick it up the paper fell apart in her hands and floated to the floor leaving only the small sketch she'd made behind. "This is ash," Regina scowled. "All of it. I've told you before, I can only restore something that actually exists."

"They were my notes!" she argued. "They're important, can't you-"

"I can't," she insisted. "The paper no longer exists, it's beyond help. Now these books…they're worse than some of the others, I might be able to get some of the writing back, but your notes are gone. Just because Rumpelstiltskin can do it doesn't mean I can…they're beyond my abilities."

Without further warning, or even trying to rescue the books she'd found, just stood up and went back to what she'd been doing across the room, leaving her staring at the small corner of paper in her hand, the family she wanted so badly to have.

Rumple could do it. Rumple could probably restore the entire library in the blink of an eye. He'd do it for her. He'd double its size and make sure every ladder was sturdy just for extra measure. She almost wished that Zelena had sent Rumple after them. Ordered him to bring her David's sword or Regina's heart. He wouldn't have had a choice about doing it, but maybe he could have controlled how he'd done it. Maybe he could have figured out a way to tell them what was going on, fix her library. He could…

He could.

He could if he was here. But he wasn't. Why?

"Why hasn't she sent Rumple?" she muttered, wondering why it had taken her so long to ask that question.

"Excuse me?" Regina drawled across the room.

Why hadn't she thought of this before? It was so obvious, ever since she'd read the fairy tales on Zelena begun to research her and put together a personality profile to help figure out who she was! _"Cowardice," _she'd written on a page somewhere long gone _"uses others at all costs." _By now…Rumple should have been here! "Why hasn't she sent Rumple?" she questioned louder. "His abilities…he can do things like this because he's the most powerful person in the world-"

"-cursed is more like it-"

"-Zelena is weak!" she went on, ignoring her sarcastic comment. "At least she is compared to Rumple. She's a coward, in every story I've read she always uses her minions to do her bidding, so why isn't she this time?!" she asked turning to Regina, hoping she'd catch on, offer something for her that explained her sudden behavior.

"Don't you think I've asked myself that a hundred times? We're lucky he hasn't shown up yet we should just be grateful she doesn't realize what she has."

"But she does know what she has," she argued. "If she didn't she wouldn't be carrying that dagger around."

"Then she likes using her monkeys more than the Dark One," Regina answered back in an irritated tone, as if she thought this idea was completely useless. "It's my heart she wants, why she's not using your boyfriend to get it is a lucky break beyond the scope of relevancy!" No. No it wasn't. Something about it was off. Wrong. Something just wasn't right!

"No," she insisted. "It's not. In story after story, book after book, that's the one thing that is always consistent. She _always _uses others to do her dirty work. If it's your heart she wants Rumple could take it from you faster than any of us could even think to put up a fight and her monkeys have only ever proved to be incompetent, so why hasn't she sent him after you yet?"

"Maybe she's the one who is incompetent or doesn't understand the magic of the dagger! I don't know, maybe she doesn't want it enough to make it work!"

"No," she muttered shaking her head. Regina might be sarcastic and trying to dismiss this but she had to use it, to work through this, there had to be a reason! "The magic is simple and want has nothing to do with it," she explained, remembering what Rumple had told her about the blade. "All she has to do is hold the dagger in her hand and say 'bring me Regina's heart' and he has to do it whether she really wants it or not! So why doesn't she?"

"You heard her!" Regina finally snapped back in an irritated tone. "It's because she wants to do it herself! You don't know how evil works. Do you know how many escapes I endured from Snow White because the guards caught her and I insisted they bring her back here to me so that I could have the pleasure of killing her myself? Trust me, it would have been a lot easier for them to execute her on the spot but not nearly as satisfying for me."

It was a fair point. She didn't need to be evil or know how it worked to understand the logic behind what she'd said. The concept turned her stomach, of course, but it wasn't the complete explanation that Regina thought it was. "Then why not go after your heart herself while she sends him to steal David's sword or kidnap Snow? We know why she dislikes you but we've uncovered no reason why she would need to take Snow or the sword in person."

Regina opened her mouth and stared just over her shoulder, considering this for a moment, before closing her mouth. Yes. That was the reaction she wanted. The moment of confused clarity when she realized that something wasn't quite right. She wanted her to-

Regina suddenly rolled her eyes and sighed before turning back to the pile of soot covered books she was going through. "This is a useless conversation," she growled, tossing the one in her hand away where it crumpled into black smoke and ash. "For all we know, she can't use the Dark One! For all we know killing himself broke the dagger _or, _for that matter, you broke the power of the dagger when you brought him back to life!" No. That wasn't it. If that was the case he would have come back to her. He would have freed himself. He would have come for-

No. Not her. Neal.

He'd try to save Neal. That was so ingrained into him she refused to believe that he would forget about Neal. He would have been working on saving his son. Even if he had lost his mind-

"It's Neal," she whispered, suddenly everything seemed to click, to make sense in a way it hadn't before. The dagger wasn't broken. The Dark One was. Because the Dark One wasn't just the Dark One now! It was Neal. Neal was living inside his mind, sharing his body. Rumple was cursed but Neal wasn't!

"What about his idiot son?" Regina questioned.

She felt a smile spread across her face. Not a smile of happiness. Simply a smile of pride. "It's Neal!" she exclaimed, trying to find the words to tell Regina what she knew. "Zelena controls the dagger, the dagger controls the Dark One but Neal and Rumple share one body and mind right now! Neal isn't cursed like his father is! Zelena can make a command but so long as Neal is bound to Rumple the Dark One doesn't have to respond! She is keeping him at the castle with her but he's powerless, too confused to know how to use his own magic."

"Facisnating theory, but it doesn't exactly help us at the moment."

"It does," she smiled, realizing suddenly that things seemed to have shifted. "Every time she brings out the dagger everyone steps away from her like it's a threat, but if the dagger doesn't work, if Neal keeps the dagger from working-"

"She's only bluffing," Regina finished for her, finally catching on.

"She keeps threatening us with the dagger but never actually uses it because she can't. Which means we don't have to be afraid to attack her. She doesn't have the Dark One's powers as she claims. We aren't fighting Rumple..."

"Just her," Regina realized. "And her pet apes of course…"

The breath leave her lungs as another realization struck her. "That's why she was in the woods that day Ruby took me home," she muttered. "That's why she talked to me, wanted to know about Rumple, how I got him to do things I wanted him to do…she wasn't interested in our personal life or hurting us, she was trying to figure out what she was doing wrong!"

"That's speculation," Regina corrected. "Not fact. All of it is speculation. I've never seen or read about what you described Rumple doing to save Neal, there is no telling how he might be effected."

She was right. Tragically she was right though she wished she wasn't. She'd been through book after book and knew for herself that information like that wasn't easily obtained. The only reason she knew anything about the insanity Rumple was going through was because of-

Her heart stopped beating. She stopped blinking. She could have sworn that the world stopped spinning!

"Zelena destroyed the wrong room!" she realized.


	65. The New Dealmaker

10 Months, 4 Days

The answers. They weren't here, in the library. They were in the wrong place! She'd been an idiot, too caught up in the crisis to stop and think about that terrible day and remember what she truly possessed! She'd had the answers the entire time! She just had to ask the right person. Or object.

"What is wrong with you? Hey!" Regina called after her, but she was already half way out of the library, practically running back to her own room and listening to Regina's footfalls as she ran after her. "Where the hell do you think you're going? What's happening?"

"She destroyed the wrong room," she explained over her shoulder pushing open the door to her room and venturing into the closet. She was almost certain it was here. In the back somewhere. In the corner she'd put it in because she never wanted to think about that day again!

"That's not exactly helpful-"

"I haven't been thinking straight, I haven't even considered that I might have had the answer with me the entire time! I never even thought-yes!" she pulled the satchel out from under the blankets she'd stashed it, hidden it from her sight, and brought it back out into her room to set the candle on her desk.

"A candle?" Regina questioned behind her, sounding more and more irritated by the second. "You think a candle has all the answers?"

"Maybe," she muttered fetching a match stick from the fire place. She didn't know for sure if it had answers but Lumiere had worked with Zelena once before, she wouldn't know what he knew exactly until she spoke with him! And she knew how to make him speak this time around in a way that would benefit them!

"I think you've finally lost your mind," Regina scowled watching her. "Now, I'm going back to the library to try and salvage-"

"It's more than a candle!" she called out before Regina could leave the room, moving quickly to light all three candles.

The face appeared in the flame, an orange and red glow just as it had been the last time. This could work. This could-

"Well it's about time?!" Lumiere spat out staring her down with his unnerving orange eyes. "I was beginning to think you'd forgotten me entirely-"

"Only nearly," she commented. She'd forgotten because she'd wanted too. Just like she'd forgotten how annoying and pompous the flame could be.

"What the hell is that?!" Regina cried out behind her. When she turned back to the woman she wore the same look of shock that she suspected she and Neal had when they'd first discovered the secret the metal object carried.

"I could ask you the same question," the candle responded, judgmentally looking Regina and her tight black attire over with obvious disgust.

"Listen you worthless piece of-"

"She's Zelena's sister!" Belle spat out before Regina had time to do anything to possibly the only creature that might be able to offer them some form of help. She needed them to behave, to get along, or at least want to not fight with each other for just a few moments! It was important.

"Regina?" the candle questioned suddenly with a small amount of shock in his voice. His judgment had suddenly changed, shifted to curious skepticism that made her want to jump up and down in excitement.

"It knows my name?" Regina drawled, sounding just as confused. It was perfect. This was exactly what she needed from them!

"I have lived for a long time within this prison!" Lumiere yelled at Regina, sounding insulted. "What I know would turn your stomach!"

"Try me!"

"Stop!" she yelled between them, wondering how it had all gone downhill so fast. She needed to keep this on track. She needed to keep the conversation moving, keep them both interested! She needed to know if something she'd read was true. "Trapping a soul," she questioned of Lumiere, "an essence within a cursed object is a spell that requires blood. It can only be undone by blood, the same blood that did the trapping, correct?"

Lumiere looked her over skeptically. "What are you asking me girl?" he questioned.

"Zelena isn't the only person that can free you. Regina can too! She shares her sisters blood."

"She would free me?!"

"_I _would free him?!" Regina snapped back in disbelief. She ignored her sarcasm.

"For a cost," she insisted. "All magic comes with a price and this one is information, truthful information and answers not like last time. The entire story, beginning, middle, and end with nothing left out this time!"

"What kind of information?" Lumiere asked, his interest obviously and wonderfully peeked.

"About Zelena," she responded. "I want to know everything you know about her. What she's planning, why she's doing it, what she needs Rapunzel's courage and Snow's baby for, why she wanted Rumple, and anything you might know about stopping her."

"And…if I provide this information…she'll free me from this waxy fate?" he asked, trying and failing to hold in his excitement. Wonderful. She wanted him to be intrigued. She wanted him to see the good in it and be tempted.

"If the information is accurate and you're not lying-"

"He won't lie," she interrupted Regina confidently. "He has nothing to gain by lying to us. If you give us all the information you know about Zelena, we _will_ free you and grant you protection from the witch for as long as you live."

"Those are exceptional promises," the candle spit back.

"These are desperate times," she responded quickly. "Do you want your freedom or do I blow the candle out and set you inside a vault in the castle never to be lit again?" He didn't respond, merely looked between her and Regina for a moment, but she'd expected that. The candle was proud, unwilling to give in without a fight and though she hated it she was prepared for that too and took a deep breath, a bluff of her own, threatening to blow the candle out when-

"No!" the candle called predictably. "Wait, please!" he begged. "For freedom and protection from the witch…I…may have the information you seek."

"I'm going to need a little more than 'may'," Regina sneered looking the candle over skeptically.

"If freedom is your promise…what I know shall be yours." Excellent.

"Find the others," she muttered turning to Regina, "we need to do this as fast as possible, we don't have time to waste."

"I can spread the word through Robin's men," Regina eyed her strangely though, looked her up and down with something like disbelief as she glanced at the candle. "You realize only Rumpelstiltskin makes deals like that?" she muttered.

This time she felt her own eyes roll and leaned down to blow the candle out against his very loud protests. Even if he could hear everything she was about to say she would rather do it without the sarcastic comments. "Rumple makes deals for his own benefit, this is for everyone," she countered, because as much as she loved him, she hated the thought of becoming exactly like he was.

His deal making was still something of a sore spot for her because she knew exactly how he liked to trick and manipulate, to use carefully chosen words in order to get exactly what he wanted. She hated that. Yes. This deal benefited her. But it was her hope that Lumiere could help Regina and Snow and David too! It was her hope that Regina could help Lumiere. If everyone won in the end, then she failed to see how this deal was such a terrible thing. There was no trickery here. Not in her mind. They'd get their information and Lumiere would get his freedom. That was that.

Regina nevertheless continued to look her up and down as a smile slid across her face, one that made her belly flip over because she didn't like what it reminded her of. It reminded her of the moment that Ruby had been proud of her, outside their home, when she'd decided to stay. That moment that she felt as though she'd somehow impressed her friend. Was that it? Did making deals like this impress Regina somehow?! She didn't want to impress her! She didn't care to impress her, in fact she wasn't even that excited to work with her. She just wanted this done and over. Times were desperate. A deal was needed. She'd only done what was necessary. And as far as she was concerned she had no interest in becoming the new Mr. Gold and making deals for things like this.

"You get what you need to free Lumiere," she suggested picking the heavy metal candlestick up and changing her mind. She wanted far away from Regina at the moment. "I'll get the others together."


	66. Putting Two and Two Together

10 Months, 4 Days

"You sent for me?" Ruby said coming into the little room and stopping at the shock of seeing all the faces in the room with her. Granny, David, Snow, Regina, even Robin Hood had joined them this time around the table, around the candelabra she and Regina had yet to explain because they didn't want to do it more than once.

"We sent for everyone," she informed her friend.

"Why?" David asked. "What are we all doing here? Did you discover something?"

"Yes, something important and more!"

"For starters," Regina inserted, "we believe Zelena is bluffing. She may have the dagger but she's incapable at the moment at actually using Rumpelstiltskin to her advantage."

"Wait...what?!" Snow White questioned looking at her confused. "You said she had the dagger? We were there when Cora struck, we know what she can do with it, if she has it!

"She does have the dagger we've all seen it!" Robin insisted.

"Yes, that's true she has the dagger, but…I don't think it's not working properly," she explained further for Regina. This was her idea after all, she may as well claim it. "I think it's because of Neal, because he and Rumple share a body right now something is…interfering with the daggers power over him. Zelena issues a command that Rumple can't refuse but Neal can. The magic was never meant to be used in that way."

"Do you have proof of this?" David asked.

"Only what I've read…only what I know and what I've seen, what I told you months ago. She's a coward, she always uses others to carry out her plans and yet for the first time she has the most powerful wizard in all the realms at her disposal she decides to start working alone?! Something is stopping her from using Rumple the way the Dark One was intended to be used. And since she can't use him, the dagger she carries around is only being used as a tool to keep us from coming after her."

"She's bluffing," Regina concluded for her.

"That's a lot to assume," Snow commented.

"I believe her," Regina said suddenly from her place at the fireplace, making her spin around in surprise. Regina glanced at her, but quickly looked away. She had to fight not to let her jaw drop. _Regina _believed she was right?! She knew that but now she was actually standing up for her?! Had the world completely turned on it's head?! "Logically," Regina went on suddenly, "her arguments make sense. But this is delicate, the next time we see Zelena and that dagger we need to continue to act as though we don't know her threats are anything but deadly. We have the upperhand…we should keep it that way until the time is right and it's safe to let her know that."

"So Neal is…he's keeping us safe?" David struggled to understand.

"He's being the hero," Snow breathed, as though she understood completely.

"But," she added remembering what Lumiere had told her the day she'd lost him. Neal was the hero for now, he was keeping them safe right now…but it couldn't last. "If the information I was told was correct he shouldn't have held on this long to begin with…he's fighting, for his life, for ours, for Henry…the important thing is that it's working for now and Rumple won't touch us, but we have to be prepared for the day that Neal can't hold on anymore…after that we can't be sure what will happen."

"Alright," David sighed. "So we don't have to worry about Rumpelstiltskin showing up in the middle of the night to kill us in our sleep for the time being. That levels the playing field if we act quickly. It just leaves Zelena. What more did you find? Do you have any ideas how to stop her?"

Well, it wasn't that they'd figured it out yet. But she was confident they were about to! "I think we'll have the answers for that as well." She turned back to Regina and glanced at the small vile of clear liquid she had in her hands. "Are you ready?" she asked her.

"Almost," Regina commented, stepping forward. She grabbed an arrow from Robins quiver and used it to prick her finger. Everyone watched in silence as she placed a few drops of blood into the vile. Suddenly the clear liquid turned red, then began to glow. Regina glanced up at her and gave her a final questioning stare that she was able to read surprisingly well. Was she sure she wanted to do this?

"Do it," she answered. Regina gave a small nod and turned back to her task, pouring the liquid over the candelabra. Immediately it began to steam, creating a mist that hung in the air forming a cloud that sparked, almost like a small storm cloud that made everyone step back when the first loud roll of thunder hit. She glanced at Regina, making sure everything was correct. She nodded as a wind that smelled like ash began to swirl around the room. It was right. It was…working!

The wicks on the candle suddenly blazed to life one at a time, the black smoke that poured off of them began to take shape, to create a form on the floor that grew darker and darker as the smoke grew thicker. It looked like a shadow, then a dense black entity, then it slowly began to lighten, colors emerged, clothing hung on skin, and as the clouds began to fade away. When the wind stopped blowing and the sparks died what was left on the floor was a man. A man clearly cowering, laying on his back, hands in the air as if shielding himself from something, a blow that didn't come, or already had.

Lumiere gasped as he opened his eyes and took a look around, his neck snapping back and forth awkwardly, as if he'd forgotten how his body worked. The others just stared at him, jaws open, eyes wide, not really sure what to think of his strange appearance. "My body!" the candle-man finally exclaimed. "You!" he said pointing to Regina. "You freed me!"

"Don't make me regret it," Regina growled stepping forward and taking the ordinary candle off the table.

"We made a deal," she muttered to the candle. "You're free, we've upheld our end of the bargain now it's your turn. Tell us what you know about Zelena."

But there was the sound of metal across the room and Snow White reached for her husband's arm, preventing him from pulling his sword from the sheath. "Wait!" she cried. "Who is he?"

"What is he?" Granny amended.

"I am…I am a man!" Lumiere breathed as he stood up, moving his hands over his chest and hips before examining his fingers as if he'd never seen the body part before in his life. "I am man!"

"His name is Lumiere," she explained for him, giving him a moment to adjust to being human again. "Neal and I met him in Rumple's castle and he led us to the vault of the Dark One under Zelena's orders."

"He works for the witch?" Robin questioned.

"No," she insisted. "Not anymore, he helped to rescue me from her after what happened between Neal and Rumple. He's been sitting in my room ever since I just…I hadn't thought to ask him what he knows until now…I'm sorry."

"What he knows?!" Snow gasped. "You know something about Zelena? Something that will help us?"

"I know a great many things about the Wicked Witch of the West," Lumiere spat suddenly at the King and Queen, making her roll her eyes. Yes, he'd adjusted.

"Then share them with us like you promised," Regina growled, already just as tired of his personality as she was. "Or you'll go back into the candle and live forever as a reading lamp."

Lumiere stared at her, then looked at the candle she held in her hand. A muscle twitched in his jaw as his nose turned up in disgust. She'd been right. He'd cooperate. He'd do anything to never be inside the candle again. "I was cursed into that fiery hell by the witch years ago! She stored me in her quarters, unaware that even if the candle was not lit, I was still aware of every word she said!"

"You know what she's planning?" David questioned.

"But of course! You don't?"

"Don't play games with us," Regina spat, waving the candle around as though it was a threat.

"She's planning on going back in time," he stated quickly. Everyone seemed to stop, to freeze just as they were as they all stared at him, wondering and fearing if they'd heard right. Go back in time. Go back in time?! That wasn't possible! She'd read about magic in one of the books Regina had given her on the basics. Her notes were gone but she could have sworn she remembered reading that it wasn't possible to go back in time. People had tried…no one had ever succeeded.

"That's not possible," Regina stated behind her. "It's never been done before!"

"Just because something has never been done before does not mean it is impossible!" Lumiere shot back. "Zelena believes she has found the key time to travel, and she intends to create a portal that will allow her to go back in time."

They hadn't heard wrong. She really was going to try this! That was why she was having trouble figuring out what she was up too! None of the stories she'd ever read about had mentioned something as outlandish as…time travel!

"But why?" Snow breathed sounding stunned. "What could she possibly want to do in the past?"

"Reclaim the life that she believes is hers," Lumiere answered smoothly, but still cryptically.

"My life?" Regina guessed.

"I should think that's obvious-"

"How?" Regina questioned. "Is she going to beg my mother to keep her?"

"Do you really think her capable of something so innocent?! Of course not! Her plan includes murder! Do you not know why she was given up in the first place?!"

"No," Robin answered for them. "Actually we don't. We'd appreciate the illumination...so to speak."

"Her mother was selfish!" Lumiere explained. "She was plain, the daughter of a miller that hoped to improve her status by marrying a King!"

"My father, Leopold," Snow commented.

"You do know the tale!"

"Pretend we don't," David commented. "What happened next?"

"She was accused of theft! By none other than the Kings betrothed, a woman by the name of Princess Eva."

"My mother!" Snow breathed.

"Cora was cast out of the castle, she delivered a child months later, and left her in the forest for someone to find so she wouldn't have the burden of raising it herself! That freed her to go on and marry another Prince and bear another daughter that was raised with the life Zelena feels belongs to her."

"Zelena thinks that if she kills my mother…then Cora will marry my father! Which would have made Zelena…" but she couldn't finish her sentence, just looked over in horror at Regina, wide eyes that said it all. Regina's jaw was tight, and she looked strange, not as though she was shaking just…vibrating. With what? Rage? Anger? Fear?

"Tell me," she whispered, "my half-sister is _not_ my husband's daughter."

"Are you crazy?!" Lumiere piqued making all of them jump. "Don't you think if Cora had that kind of blackmail, even if it was false, she would have used it to her own advantage? Forced the King to marry her for the sake of the child?!" Lumiere was shouting, being as rude as he always was, but instead of fighting or yelling back Regina seemed to shrink. Tension let out of her shoulders and she gave the closest thing to a sigh of relief that she thought she'd ever seen the Evil Queen give. And she couldn't entirely say she blamed her. Regina had used the same explanation weeks ago when Ruby returned with her terrible information but she knew that nothing had ever been certain. The possibility of Zelena and her…and Leopold and Cora…she knew carrying those thoughts hadn't been easy for her. They wouldn't have been easy for anyone.

"The father of the witch was lowly, a liar that told false tales of grandeur and made promises to Cora he was never capable of following through with because he was nothing," the man continued. He was murdered, long ago by the witch. But after the engagement Cora saw an opportunity to marry quickly and claim the child was of royal blood. After the princess accused her, she sent Zelena away."

"But then…what about our child?" Snow questioned, breaking the silence and wrapping her arms around her swollen stomach. "What does she want with it?"

"Time travel is complex magic, never before accomplished," he answered. "But Zelena is a powerful witch and she feels that she has found something in a child of True Love that no one else who has ever attempted time travel has thought of! A child imbued with the magic of True Love. The mind with knowledge of the past. A heart of resilience to endure the present. Courage to change the future. She believes these will create the portal she needs, but why she needs them...I'm afraid only the witch knows that!

So that was it! That was her plan! Zelena wanted to go back in time. She wanted to kill Snow White's mother, Princess Eva. If she was successful then Cora would have married Leopold. Cora would have been Queen and passed Zelena off as their first child, as royalty. And Regina…

"She doesn't want your heart to crush it, to kill you," she realized. "She wants to steal it so she can use it in the spell. And Rapunzel's courage. And…Rumple. His mind. He's the one she's planning to use! That's why she doesn't let him go, why she wanted him! So she can go back in time, so she can take your place Regina! Without Eva she would have been tutored by Rumple, she would have been the one to enact the curse-"

"Well, unless she hasn't realized enacting that curse wasn't exactly the best thing to ever happen to me."

"We can't let her do it!" David whispered. Without Eva there'd be no you, Snow. No us. No Emma-"

"No Henry," Regina muttered. One person. One person erased from the face of history could rewrite dozens of stories! Her own included! How would Rumple have been different without Cora? How would he have been different with Zelena in his life instead of Regina? What if Regina hadn't found her on the road that day and sent her back to him? Where would they be? Where would Neal be?! Without Emma, without his son? Would reconciliation have been possible without them?

"So…" she swallowed, trying to stay focused in this reality until it melted away. There was time. They had time to fix this! She needed Snow's child, she wasn't sure why she needed those ingredients exactly, but she knew that until the baby was born they had time to fix this. But how?! "How do we stop her?" she questioned.

"Don't ask me!" Lumiere shouted at her. "I don't know how she can be stopped!"

"Traitor!" Regina snapped, advancing on the man with a sneer. "You promised us answers!"

"I promised to tell you what I know and I have!" he corrected taking a step back. "All I know comes from overhearing hundreds of conversations when no one thought I was listening! The witch has never spoken openly of any weaknesses or flaws that she possesses!"

"I refuse to believe that!" she growled raising her arms and the candelabra!

"No?! How often do you speak aloud yours own secrets even in private?!" the candle snapped! "If I knew a way to destroy her I would have told you! But I can't tell you something I don't know!"

"Regina!" Robin Hood was there, his hand sealed around her wrist in an iron grip as he pried the candlestick out of her hands as he would a toy he didn't want Roland to play with.

"Don't touch me!" she cried, tugging free but letting him hold the metal in his hands.

"He can't tell you anymore," he insisted.

"We don't know that."

"We can't know he's lying either, but he's been truthful about everything else so far we've no reason to believe he's lying now!"

"Give me five minutes alone with him and I'll make sure he's-"

"Regina!" Snow shouted from across the room, breaking up their fight this time. "He doesn't know anything," she muttered sadly, in a way that told her she knew it was true and wished it wasn't. They knew the plan. But they didn't know how to stop her. All the time in the world wouldn't keep Snow White pregnant forever! They had to figure out what came next and they needed to stop wasting time on methods that wouldn't tell them and start focusing on what would.

"What do we do now?" Ruby asked from across the room.

"There's always the dwarves, the fairies," David suggested. "They've been searching for ways to destroy her-"

"The last we heard of them they were at the mines…it's taking too long," Snow said, lowering herself into a chair and staring across the room looking dazed and pale.

"Maybe it's taking so long because they've found something," David commented kneeling down at her side to meet her gaze. "Maybe they have the final piece of the puzzle-"

"And if they don't?"

"If they don't…if they don't we'll come up with something. I promise Snow we will!"

"I can leave first thing tomorrow morning," Ruby commented across the room. "I'll find them, track them down, have someone come back to tell you what they've found."

"And in the meantime…" Regina growled, turning her gaze back to Lumiere.

"You…you promised me freedom…and protection," the man stuttered, faltering under her gaze.

"And you'll have it…in a palace room under the constant protection of the castle guards."

"House arrest?!"

"Regina!" she gasped, shocked by the sudden suggestion.

"We can't risk him running back to tell the witch what we know!" Regina commented. "He's alright proven that he's easily turned so long as he gets what he wants the last thing we need is for him to turn on us!"

No. That wasn't what she wanted! That wasn't what she had promised him! She didn't exactly like the candle, she hadn't entirely forgotten what he'd instigated in that clearing but she'd made him a deal! She'd promised him freedom and she meant it! She didn't want him to be a prisoner as she once had been! "But-"

"She's right," David muttered beside Snow, looking the man over sympathetically. "as soon as we discover how to defeat Zelena you'll go free, but until then…you'll have to stay here!"

"Trade one prison for another?!"

"You'll have free run of the castle," Snow commented, "everything you want, we'll make sure of it!

"But we'll still be keeping a close watch on you" Regina growled. "And just in case you were lying, just in case you are holding something back from us…I'm going to keep this with me," Regina stated grabbing the candelabra back from Robin Hood. "Just for safe keeping."

And with that she left the room, leaving her stomach feeling as though it had been twisted into knots.


	67. Where She Never Thought She'd Be

10 Months, 1 Week, 1 Day

Ruby didn't leave the next morning. She left that very night. Every day was another day closer to Snow's delivery…there was no time to waste. So the second the darkness fell over the land Ruby pulled her red cloak over her head, mounted a horse, and took off into the night in the direction of the mining village that she'd first met her dwarf friend in.

At first she'd fought with Regina, begged her to release Lumiere with the spare time…she only refused. What made it even worse was the fact that she understood completely why Regina refused. Lumiere was, to say the least, a gamble. There was no way to know for sure where his allegiance truly was. To let him go completely…she agreed, it was out of the question. Still, she'd made a promise and she felt torn between letting him go and wanting him to stay right where he was. The one compromise that she could come up with was making sure that Lumiere was as comfortable as possible. Anything he wanted to occupy his time with, he had. Anything he wanted to eat or drink, he got it without a second thought. By the end of the second day she'd given up seeing to him. He was still shouting, making ridiculous requests, but she was beginning to think that he was enjoying it. How could he not?! He was finally released, freed from his candle prison, which Regina was still holding in her apartments, and now he was living in a lush bedroom in a palace, given everything to eat he had been denied over the years. He was acting upset…but deep down he was comfortable and she let him be without feeling guilt.

Unfortunately it seemed to be only Lumiere that was comfortable. Snow and David had all but locked themselves in their quarters, keeping alert and vigilant for the day that Ruby or the dwarves returned. The rest of them focused uselessly on the library. She supposed it wasn't necessary anymore, her notes and previous findings looked poor next to what Lumiere had given them. Still Granny and Robin sifted through the ashes in the main library, while she and Regina combed through the other room, the one that housed the darker books that she'd given her access to hoping maybe to gain a little clarity on time travel, why it was Zelena wanted to use the ingredients she so desperately sought to send her home, but they found very little to help them. They needed information on time travel, but those books as Regina was keen to remind her time and time again were gone.

"Time travel is a trick that has never been accomplished before, it's theory," she explained as they worked their way through book after book. "These are all practical dark magic, there's no room for theory here."

She only shook her head at the reminder. "We can't afford not to look," she commented stubbornly.

"I'm here aren't I?" she drawled with a sneer, never taking her eyes off the book she had in front of her. "I'm looking, wasting my time being a team player…but that doesn't change the fact that the answers we needed were in the books I gave you to begin with that are nothing but a pile of ash. So unless you plan on breaking into Rumpelstiltskin's private library then I'm telling you we can look until the end of time and we're not going to learn anything."

Probably she was right. Probably she knew what was in these books better than anyone else. But if she gave up completely, if she resigned herself to the fact that everything that could be done had been done…she didn't know how she'd manage to stay sane.

"What else can we do?" she questioned rhetorically.

Regina sighed and dropped her shoulders, making her appear less tense all of a sudden, like she'd been waiting for someone to ask that very question for weeks now. "We can start using our heads," she answered.

"Excuse me?" she questioned, shocked by the sudden accusation. What, precisely, would Regina call what they were doing now?!

"We need to start thinking of a back-up plan, just in case there is no information to get back from the fairies."

"You're saying there won't be?"

"I'm saying we need to be a little more proactive than just going on fishing expeditions and hoping we find something! You might not be the only one to ignore what was right in front of your nose…I want to know if there is anything else we've neglected." Her warning was cryptic and made little sense to her. Was she saying that there was something they weren't doing? That someone was holding back information or ignoring it?! She didn't think anyone was doing anything like that on purpose at the moment!

"What do you think we're missing?" she asked Regina, feeling slightly insulted at her insinuations. If anyone was holding something back at the moment, surely it was her.

"I think we're being too specific. I think we need to question how to defeat any evil, how anyone around here has ever conquered wickedness and that includes myself."

"I'm…I'm sorry, I don't understand…"

"Well, it wasn't me they defeated last time it was just my curse…they were prepared and sent Emma away to spare her and break that curse."

"You think there is a way to stop the time portal?" Wasn't that why they were looking for more information on it?!

"No I think they were-"

"Someone's back!" the voice made her jump and their heads snap up to look at where it the noise had come from. It was Little John, running into the library and finally locating them in the little room they'd stashed themselves into. "Someone's coming, on the road leading up to the palace they were just spotted!"

"Ruby?!" she questioned. "Did she bring someone back with her?"

"Alas it is a lone traveler, milady."

"Who is it John?" Robin asked from the other side of the doorway.

"Short. Male," he answered. "But we can't make out the face…"

Not Ruby, but someone. Short, maybe a dwarf. She couldn't think of any reason that someone else would be walking down the road that would raise the hopes in the castle like that. The guards knew who came and went on a daily basis! If it was someone they expected then they wouldn't be acting like…

"I'll find David and Snow," Regina stated moving around Little John's massive form and out of the room quickly.

"John, make sure Roland is safe and send the men to meet them on the road, you know where to find us," Robin commanded. John turned and left immediately not sparing any time to question his orders. "Ladies…shall we?" Robin beckoned her and Granny to follow, come with him. Immediately she put her book down and followed after him. There wasn't time to spare. Whatever conversation she'd intended to have with Regina, what she needed to talk about it could wait until later, just after they'd finished dealing with whatever news from the fairies awaited them.

She wasn't sure how she managed to keep herself calm, waiting in that little room. Every instinct she had made her want to stand up and run out to the visitor to figure out what he had to offer them now rather than later. But she managed to stay put. She watched as Granny took out knitting needles and bundles of yarn. That was how she coped. Robin Hood dropped to his knees immediately and began to kindle a fire in the grate. Regina walked through the door without being announced and took a seat next to Granny and a few moments later the door opened once more as David and Snow walked in, though it was more a waddle on Snows part. As she worked herself carefully into a chair, her stomach bulging already simply didn't seem to fit, she honestly wasn't sure just how much bigger she could get. It didn't seem possible! She was getting closer to delivery every single day. She still didn't know what Regina had meant in their earlier conversation, but she was beginning to think that if it was true, they needed that information now. It couldn't wait any longer.

The door opened once more and this time she felt everyone take a breath as they glanced over to see just who was there and ready to meet them.

"Grumpy!" David called out to the dwarf ascending the stairs. "Tell me you found something!"

But the dwarf didn't need to answer for her to understand that what he had to say wasn't good news. The words were practically written out on his face for them all to see.

"I've been to Blue, Tink, all the fairies, they've been scouring the forest for enchanted items to destroy her," Grumpy answered, "but they got zilch!" There was a collective slump of defeated shoulders that went around the table as their hopes fell! They'd been so close, so hopeful! And now that was all gone?! There really was nothing that they could do? "They say she's just too powerful!" Grumpy added for good measure.

"It's happening again!" Snow breathed in amazement, or maybe shock, staring blankly into the air in front of her. "I'm about to give birth and an evil sorceress is threatening the future of my child," she gaped, her voice breaking in sadness. All things considered, she couldn't exactly blame her. At the moment things appeared…bleak at best.

"To be fair the first time I was threatening you," Regina corrected emotionlessly, "everyone else was just became collateral damage."

"Remind me again why we forgave her?" Grumpy commented beside the former Queen. Ordinarily she might wonder the same thing, but after a year of living close to her former captor…well, she'd done it again. No, she didn't love Regina as she did Rumple or Neal but she saw through her callous mask now. It was when she made heartless, sarcastic, and shallow remarks that she was full of emotion. She'd never care for Regina, though she'd accepted her as part of the strange family she belonged to, and respected anyone who was planning on fixing the terrible error she and Neal had made. And over the last few weeks and months, as the two of them had conversed and even used each other to try and figure out what was going on…she'd been helpful. Far more than she'd been in the beginning. It had happened, just as she'd hoped. They'd all come together, united for a single common purpose. She wished Neal were here to see it! Probably as much as Regina secretly wished Henry could see it.

"Because I'm helping!" Regina responded to Grumpy's remark, "and frustrating as it is for me to remember, Snow you had a head start to defeat me last time…how?" That?! That was what she'd been talking about in the library. And now that she thought about it she honestly didn't know why she'd waited so long to ask that question! They hadn't defeated Regina but they'd known what she was going to do, prepared for it, and were able to set in motion what needed to be done to eventually stop her.

"We were warned," David told her.

"By Rumpelstiltskin," Snow finished. She felt a small smirk tug at the corner of her mouth. Of course they'd been warned by him, he'd needed Emma to break the curse, to find Neal! She should have guessed that. He'd put the curse in place so that they'd get to the Land Without Magic, then he'd put the counter curse in place so that he would be able to find Neal. They only had a head start because he'd wanted them too.

"Well maybe he can warn you again," Regina suggested, making her head snap out of the past and stare at Regina. Maybe he could warn them again… Had she really just suggested what she thought she had?!

"Wait!" Grumpy interjected, "you want to sneak into Rumpelstiltskin's castle where he's being held captive by the Wicked Witch?!" One look at David and Snow and she knew they weren't the only ones to be thinking about it. See Rumple. Break into the castle! That was exactly what they intended to do. Under normal circumstances she would have readily agreed and been half way to the castle by now but…all things considered…

"Name's Grumpy, not Stupid," Grumpy muttered, stating perfectly her objections. Breaking into that castle, especially if Zelena was there would be risky. It was suicide.

"Mmm, you're right it is stupid," Snow commented, "but…for our child-"

"We'll do whatever it takes," David completed firmly, reaching out for his wife's hand. Going back to the castle. They were going back to the castle, they wanted to go see Rumpelstiltskin! It was…terrifying and horribly stupid! And she could think of more than a couple of reasons why. For one he was being held by Zelena, for another-

"Heartwarming," Regina drawled, breaking the Charmings tender devotion. "He's trapped in his own castle, Belle you were prisoner there…" she prompted turning to her. She practically jumped at how quickly this was beginning to take shape, at how fast everyone was to suddenly leave this place for Rumple's castle! Hadn't they all been terrified to leave only seconds ago?! Didn't they realize that getting into that castle might be far more dangerous than anything they'd attempted so far? Didn't they know that just because she'd lived there didn't mean she had the keys to the front door anymore?!

"Yes, but…" but she'd been willing and brought to the castle and told not to leave! Getting in had never been a problem for her, with Zelena there she doubted that would still be the case. The castle wasn't her home or even his own at the moment. It was Zelena's

"Breaking in?!" she blanched, shaking her head in confident confusion, wishing there was something positive that she could say, something to convince them. "I…I would have no idea how!" she admitted sadly.

"Luckily I do," Robin Hood stated across from her, making her heart jump because she knew, she remembered. How could she have forgotten so quickly?! "I broke in there once before." He was right, Robin Hood had done it once before, when she and Rumple had only barely begun to know each other. He was clever and agile enough. He had the tools he needed. Could he really break them in again?

"Why are we even listening to him?" Regina laughed. "He's a thief! Which means he's not to be trusted!" she yelled. "What are you even still doing here?!" she demanded turning to him.

"What I'm doing here is saving your ass!" the reformed thief argued, before ignoring Regina completely, and leaning in to address them. "The castle has traps, deadly ones-"

"Not more deadly than my magic," Regina argued.

"They are if you don't see them coming!" Robin responded.

"Well, maybe I'm okay with taking my chances!"

"Alright, you may be but we're not. He's coming," Snow declared, making her want to applaud the pregnant woman. It was about time someone stopped the fight before it escalated.

Regina sat back in her chair, looking like a disappointed child while Robin practically sneered at her in triumph. As much as she liked Robin Hood and respected Regina it was a struggle not to roll her eyes at them. If they were all going, Robin Hood and Regina included, she couldn't help but think that someone was going to have to sit between them so they didn't kill each other on the trip. After living with the two of them for the last year it was a very real possibility! Unless Roland was around and somehow she didn't think Robin would be all that eager to take his son along for the ride this time.

"But…" David sighed, "Snow…"

"Charming, don't say it! Don't even think it!" Snow insisted immediately. "I'm going and that's that."

"It might be dangerous!"

"No more dangerous than waiting here for Zelena to kidnap me in the middle of the night and carry me off to that castle to experience labor and delivery with the Wicked Midwife of the West! I did a lot while I was pregnant with Emma and I can do a lot now. There is strength in numbers and I'm going!"

"The dwarves and I will be right by your side, Snow," Grumpy insisted making everyone at the table look up at him, completely confused. "What?" he questioned. "I'm not stupid, I never said I wasn't loyal. The mining town is on the way to Rumpelstiltskin's castle, my brothers and I will help in any way we can. Especially if it means defeating Zelena and getting Dopey back."

"Be sure to pick up Red," Granny muttered from the corner. "She'll be disappointed if she misses out."

"Great," David said unenthusiastically, "Regina, unless you can take us there by magic I suggest we leave first thing in the morning."

"I can get us to…" but she didn't hear anything Regina said or any of the heated argument that followed, she was too lost in thought. Hopeful and depressing thoughts warring with one another in her mind.

Ruby wanted an adventure, Robin wanted to be a hero, the dwarves wanted their brother back, Regina wanted her sister destroyed, and Snow and Charming just wanted their child to be safe, and yet here they were a team of adventures preparing to go out and save the world. There was just one problem. She wanted something too, but she'd been in this place before. She'd wanted Henry back, and yet she'd stood on that dock and been asked to stay behind, for understandable purposes she admitted it but still, this time around she didn't want to miss out. This time around she didn't want to stay behind or wait at the castle. She wanted something just like the rest of them, she wanted her family back, and even if she didn't know how to break in, this time she wasn't settling for staying behind.

The scraping of chairs as everything was planned broke her stream of thoughts. They were settled, leaving, ready to prepare, only this time… "I'm going with you too!" she stated quickly as she rose from the table, trying hard not to show a look of desperation and uncertainty on her face. She wanted to look stubborn, determined. She wanted for them to see that there was no way she wasn't going with them, only what she saw in David's face was a protective nervousness that she'd seen on Neal's face when they'd been living together. He didn't like the thought of her going any more than he liked the thought of Snow going. So then, how-

"Of course you're going," Regina drawled. The words nearly stole away her breath when she saw that it wasn't her the former Queen was looking at. It was David. _Regina, _was the one insisting she come along?! Insisting to David?! Why- "How else are we ever going to get Rumpelstiltskin to cooperate with us," she pointed out as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She tried to act like it was, tried to pretend like it was clearly the reason she'd planned on going the entire time, but the fact that it was Regina insisting she go still made her dizzy. No. It wasn't possible. Certainly it was just her imagination. Regina wasn't actually starting to like her! Was she? No, she didn't think she'd ever be friends with the woman but to have her tolerance and patience…that was a mountain all on its own!

"We leave at first light," David stated suddenly to the group around him. Be ready by then.


	68. A Long Journey Begins

10 Months, 1…2 Weeks, 4…6…7 Days

As it was they didn't leave the next morning. Their peace, working with one another, it wasn't as natural or as easy as they'd all assumed and fighting had ensued, creating time needed for compromises and finally packing. They left the morning after that, bright and early before the sun came up. Carriages were prepared. Two of them. As agreed they kept them stored in the barn, without hitching horses to them just in case Zelena had monkeys watching the palace. They were packed and ready to go in their sturdiest traveling clothes they had. Food. Water. Weapons. Blankets to keep away the coming cold. Tents to rest under at night. A chest full of magical liquids and ingredients Regina had insisted on. Snow, David, and Robin were seated in one and she and Grumpy were sealed into another with Regina on the outside. When they were completely packed and ready to go Regina grabbed one wheel on each, there was a swirl of purple magic, a sensation of being too still at the same time that she felt like she was moving too fast and when the smoke cleared they were no longer confronted with the silence of the barn.

Horses hooves pounded on a dirt road and high pitched whinnies squealed through the air, people yelled, children laughed…she remembered this street! She remembered that tavern there! The one she'd worked at after leaving Rumple. The tavern she'd met Dreamy in. That window was the room she'd stayed in. Down that road was the library she'd worked at. The old man that she'd translated books for lived on the second floor. The woman that had helped her to dress before going after the Yaoguai was his wife.

She'd been a different person here, lost, hopeless. It only seemed fitting that she get to see it again without him. When they did manage to get him back she had no intention of ever bringing him here. The idea of what happened to her after he'd dismissed her already broke his heart too much. She and Regina, Snow and David, stayed hidden in their carriages as the others went out to do what they'd agreed on. Grumpy found his brothers and Ruby. One by one they filed into the carriage making Regina sneer each and every time. "Still better than traveling with the bandit of Sherwood Forest," she heard her mutter at one point. She was almost proud of Regina for realizing that, for understanding that if she shared such a tight space with Robin there was a possibility they'd tear each other apart. Especially after the arrangement they'd come to yesterday, the one that had held them up.

"I still don't understand why we're wasting time. I can use magic to take us the entire way, there's no need for carriages!" Regina had complained.

"Didn't you say yourself your majesty that she might be able to sense your magic if you use it too close to the castle."

"That was speculation, spoken when we had time to spare, this time…we don't!"

"Do you really want to gamble on that?"

"We don't!" Snow had insisted quickly, hanging off of David's arm. "Regina takes us to the dwarf village from here, to make sure Zelena doesn't spot us leaving, once we're there we get horses, take the carriages to the nearest village and climb the mountain on foot."

"It's rough terrain, your majesty," Robin had insisted glancing down at Snow's stomach.

"It'll be fine," she assured him. "I'm not staying behind."

So now they were here. The village. Four dwarves, Regina, and her all nestled into one carriage while a very pregnant Snow, David, and Ruby waited in the other for Robin to finish hitching the horses to the run down old carriages, meant to conceal the royalty from the world and prevent Zelena from even suspecting they'd left the castle. She was confident that it would work, so long as Zelena didn't make any impromptu kidnapping attempts and find the castle barren of its residents.

With a sudden lurch the carriages moved. Horses pulled them along the way. In all honesty, she couldn't really remember walking here from Rumple's castle. She'd felt like a soldier then, the lone survivor of a war that had emptied her of her soul when she'd finally stumbled out of the woods in a search for food and water. The trip had felt like it lasted forever then, and yet she felt as though it all happened in the same day. In actuality David was quick to inform them the first time they stopped and looked at a map that it was only a little more than a week or so that they had to travel. The only thing keeping them from going all day and night was the fact that they had to continually stop and rest the horses. She'd suggested that they could just continue to trade them, get new ones, but they were all in agreement that they wanted to keep themselves as invisible as possible as long as possible. The last thing they needed was someone even just thinking they'd seen Snow White or Regina and beginning any rumor that would make Zelena suspicious something was happening. So they stopped in the forests. Camped out every night just as she and Neal had months ago only with more material goods. Robin and David hunted, Ruby helped on the nights that she could. She and the dwarves collected berries while Snow's belly grew and her mobility weakened each day. And Regina…they could all see the way her fingers twitched every time she looked at her trunk of magic.

"Don't even think about it Regina," Snow muttered one night over dinner.

"We could have been there by now!" she growled.

"You said yourself-"

"I know what I said!" she snapped at David. "Maybe I regret what I said."

"We need to be careful," Robin explained, "delicate."

"Don't you think if I didn't know that I'd have already disappeared on my own? There's a storm coming-"

"I feel it," Robin confirmed.

"-and with the right ingredients the right words and thoughts I could make it disappear so that it won't slow us down!"

"We can't risk it Regina," Snow muttered gently. "This is dangerous enough as it is."

Regina glared at her, a sneer on her face as the vein in her forehead throbbed. She knew Snow was right…she just wished she didn't. Which was the only thing that kept her from following after the Evil Queen when she stood up and disappeared into the woods around them. Regina knew not to use magic, her sister had taken away the only defense she'd ever had, and now she felt helpless. Using magic was a terrible temptation. But she wouldn't do that. She knew she wouldn't.

Days later they arrived at the village they'd intended to travel to. The one she'd always been able to see from her tower library, the one she and Neal had avoided, the one she'd taken shelter in immediately after Zelena had claimed Rumple for herself. It was different now than it had been months ago, more put together, and still the people seemed warier. More run down. There was a darkness to it that hadn't been present when she'd been there last. They were living in the shadow of the castle. And it was evident every time someone walking in the street cast a glance up to the ominous building and insisted children stay inside that they were more than aware of it.

It was the strangest thing, that castle had always seemed like home to her. How could it not? It was the place she'd started to truly live her life, erase the scars and wrongdoings of her past, and begin to become the person that she was today! And yet, looking at it now, her own stomach twisted into knots. It just didn't look right. This forest, these trees…nothing felt right now. It was as if Zelena had infected the area somehow. Cursed it.

It made her sick.

"Hey."

She jumped when Ruby slid up next to her. She averted her eyes quickly and muttered a "hi" but her gaze just slid right back up to the castle. It hurt just to look at it.

"Do you think you can do this?" Ruby asked, following her gaze.

Did she think she could do this? That was an excellent question. A week ago? Sitting in that room? Yes, absolutely, without a single doubt. But now?! Now that she saw her home? Now that it was looming above her? Now that it was staring back at her? Yes, she could do it. She just didn't know it would be this terrifying.

"Ladies," Robin Hood muttered stepping up beside them. "We're walking from here. Are you ready?"

Another good question. But yes, she was ready, because the faster they did this, the faster they would have the information they needed, And the faster they had what they needed, the faster they could set everything right…including Rumple and Neal. It took days to ascend the mountain. When she and Neal had done it they made it nearly in a night. But they'd also had a horse with them then, carrying everything they had left. It had also been only the two of them and they hadn't been planning on staying long. This time…they honestly weren't sure how long they were staying and they had quite a few handicaps.

Everyone took what they could carry with them, the exception being Snow White who struggled along in the back but always put a smile on her face and claimed she was just fine. There were a lot of breaks, a lot of stops that they made to give her a rest, and relieve everyone of their own burdens, but while they all knew that she was slowing them down, Regina was the only one to actually comment on it. Then, finally, after too many cold nights on the mountain to count, they made it to the place deep in the woods on the outside of the wall that Robin deemed the safe place to set up a camp.

"You mean we're not going in right away?" Grumpy questioned.

"No," he answered. "I asked around while we were at the village, everyone told me she was in the castle, it's best to wait until she leaves."

"We've been climbing this mountain for days now, who says she's still there?" Grumpy fought back. "She's got that broom of hers, for all we know she's left by now-"

"I've been watching since then, making sure the skies are always in my sight. Each night there have been lights on and smoke rising…she's in there."

"So what? We just wait here until she leaves?"

"Partly," he answered. "There are a few things we have to do first."


	69. Battle Plans For A Home Invasion

10…11 Months

"A few things they had to do first" turned into quite a few things they had to do first over a number of days. But between Robin, David, and Regina she was oddly confident they were in good hands.

First, they set up tents, they hunted to make sure that they had everything that they might need to survive for an unknown amount of time on the mountain, but also make sure that should push come to shove, they could pick up and leave with barely a moment's notice. They created rules, important ones to ensure that no one found them. First and foremost Regina was still banned from using magic. She was itching to use it, they all could tell that, and she might have been determined not to use it before they left but now it was a safety net that she wanted desperately to use. Keeping an eye on her wasn't going to be easy or pleasant, but everyone agreed it was necessary. Fires were kept to a minimum before dark to prevent smoke from rising. Voices weren't to be raised unless under the direst of circumstances. No one was to go anywhere alone or unarmed! It just wasn't worth the risk.

Then they sent out scouts. The dwarves spent day and night walking the area, drawing out the walls, the mountains, exploring an abandoned house at the bottom of the mountain, learning the terrain better than anyone, and that included Rumpelstiltskin. They learned all the places the monkeys kept watch. There were quite a few of them: the trees, the towers, the sky, they were everywhere! But after a few days it became obvious they were predictable. They managed to draw up a map, making it as detailed as possible so that when the time finally came they'd have everything they needed.

There were watches as well. Robin located a place, a hill that rose just high enough that anyone standing there, or sitting on the fallen log they found, would be able to see over the wall and into the grounds of her stolen home. David set up the schedule, made sure to always have one of them watching the castle in order to observe her comings and goings. For a long time, there was nothing to report. In fact, they weren't even entirely sure at first Robin was right and she was there. But then, late one morning Grumpy came running back to the camp, fighting the urge to scream, and told them that she'd finally been spotted. She came out in the earliest hours of the morning and hung clothes up on the clothing line. "The Wicked Witch of the West does her own laundry…you'd think she'd have munchkins for that!" David jested sounding shocked.

She should have been happy about that, everyone else was. She was there! They knew where Zelena and Rumple were! Only she didn't feel happy about it. She felt angry, possessive. That was her clothing line! And it took every fiber of self-control she had in her not to go marching up to the front door and scream at her to let her family go and kick her out of her home. She suspected they knew that, which was why they gave her a job all her own, one that let her claim the castle for herself again. Unfortunately it was a job that only turned her stomach more.

"You don't know how to break in," Robin commented pulling her into a tent, "but you do know everything else there is to know about this castle. Every room, every hallway-"

"Every nook and cranny," she confirmed.

"We need you to map it out for us, a floor plan, every detail could be important" David asked, handing her a piece of paper, ink, and a quill. Her stomach turned over. Map it out for them? Draw the Dark One's precious home in detail. "Should something go wrong we need to have back-up plans," David insisted, we need to know the places that we can hide, any weaknesses the castle might have-"

"Why can't you just trust me once we're inside?" Robin and David exchanged looks that made her want to run away. She didn't like this. That was their castle, their home! She didn't know that coming up here to see Rumple would feel like such an invasion of privacy! And telling them about what was inside that castle, drawing up floor plans, and defining weaknesses felt like a betrayal. Rumple had always treasured his residence, here and in Storybrooke. The witch living inside of it, sneaking so many in with her it felt wrong but drawing it out for others…she couldn't even begin to describe how much she didn't want to do that..

"Belle," David muttered kneeling down before her and giving her a sympathetic look that made her look away because she knew it was meant to be manipulative. "We'll destroy the plans as soon as this is over, but for now…"

"No one in the world knows it better than you," Robin said from behind him. "I guarded it for years but never bothered to learn the ins and outs of it like you would have. I was doing a duty, repaying a debt for my life, but you were different. If we want to fight Zelena, if we want to get her out and keep all of us safe so the Dark One can claim what's his once more…I'm afraid we need this. We can't afford not to have it!"

Robin Hood had lived in the castle too?! She felt the beast of sadness clawing at the inside of her chest again. And for a brief moment she wondered if this was it, the moment she just couldn't handle it all, the moment she snapped and wouldn't survive! She didn't want to do this, she didn't want to do any of this anymore! She wanted to be at home! She wanted to be back in their bed, to feel his arms wrapped protectively around her, knowing that when morning came they would get up and drive into town. She'd go to her library, he'd go to his shop. Neal would bring Henry over for dinners. They'd be happy. She didn't want this miserable life, this situation that she was in!

"Belle…" David muttered looking desperately at her. "Please," he begged softly. It killed her to do it, but nevertheless she found herself taking the quill that he was urging into her fingers and drawing because somehow she understood that this might be her only chance at ever getting that life again. Every wall, every hallway, each room, its purpose, the furniture, everything she could think of she poured onto that piece of paper. When she was finished she had a foul taste in her mouth and the moment David reached for the paper she found herself snatching it out of his grasp and rolling the plans up. If she was giving this information up, a small piece of the life she treasured so much and the privacy they both appreciated, then she wasn't going to leave it just laying around. She couldn't risk that! She just hadn't known it until now.

"They stay with me," she insisted. "Wherever they are so am I. You can at least work with that."

David stared her down for a long while, grit his teeth together and looked between her and the paper that was clutched in her hand, then let out a sigh. "We can work with that," he confirmed.

And he did. They spent hours studying that map in one of their tents. "We've notice's lights coming from the western tower, a couple of windows on the second floor, and the room closest to us," Robin explained one night, with all of them huddled around it as the dwarves patrolled.

"The West Tower is his study, it's entrance is here, there are spiraling stairs that lead to the top," she explained sourly, pointing it out on the map. "The West Wing was always his living quarters. The room closest to us was more or less used as the common room when I was there. It's where he kept his collection-"

"The one I found the wand in?" Robin questioned.

"Yes," she answered.

"That's the room my men and I used for the most part," Robin informed her. "That and the one across from it for sleeping arrangements."

She crossed her arms over her chest and swallowed back her protests at his information. Robin Hood and his men all living in the castle. Even if it was them and their intentions were good...she really didn't like this. "He stored his collection there," she went on, trying to ignore the feeling in her belly. "He did his spinning, eating, sometimes his working…those were really the only sections of the castle we used on a daily basis."

"And the second floor windows?" Snow questioned.

She shook her head, happy for at least that one small grace she could be thankful for. "It's just a room," she admitted. "There are dozens like it in the castle, I imagine she's using it for her own bedroom." The thought of her being in all of their private areas, putting her hands on their cherished belongings made her angry. But at least it wasn't his room. At least it wasn't her library, or Neal's room, or the room she'd claimed for herself! But that didn't mean she wasn't going to insist they burn every piece of furniture in that room the moment the castle was theirs again! He'd probably enjoy that.

"She's keeping Rumple captive, any idea where?" David pushed.

She nodded. "The West Wing, that would explain the lights we've been seeing there. Or the dungeons," she answered pointing the places out on her map

"There were windows in my cell," Robin commented nearly making her wince. It was another moment she'd rather forget about.

"Mine had them too, but there are more than just two cells and not all of them have windows."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," David sighed. "What's the easiest way to the dungeons?"

"The Great Room," she answered obediently. "Quickest way to the West Wing is to take the main staircase up to the second floor then walk down these hallways here."

David offered a heavy sigh. "So we try the dungeon's first and if he's not there we go to the West Wing."

"That's only after we get into the castle," Robin added. Before then we'll have three major obstacles to get through: the flying monkeys, stationed in trees and every parapet, the wall, and finally actually getting into the castle. I've got a fool proof way to get into the castle and through the wall, but it's the monkeys that truly bother me. We don't want to harm them for fear they're the innocent-"

"But we also don't want to risk becoming them," David finished.

"Precisely."

The tent went quiet. So quiet that nearly everyone flinched at the popping of the fire outside. That was the conundrum they continued to come up against. The monkeys. No one wanted to outright kill them, no one even wanted to risk hurting them, but they stood as faithful sentries in the woods and all along the wall. So far they hadn't given them any problems, but she honestly wasn't sure if that was because they were poor lookouts, or the dwarves were just very careful scouts. Some days she wondered if this was all for nothing. If Zelena already knew they were here and was just waiting for the moment they chose to break in to reveal herself.

"Leave the monkeys to me," Regina finally spoke into the quiet.

"Regina, you can't-"

"I won't use magic!" she snapped at Snow. "You may find it hard to believe but I do have something up my sleeve besides magic. Not that it'll matter. If we're going in while she's not there we won't have to worry about magical signatures to begin with."

"Regina," Snow warned suspiciously.

"Don't get excited!" she answered. "The last thing we need is for your water to break. I'll resist the temptation to do what I do best. But I'll need a few of these," she stated, reaching up and pulling a handful of Robin's arrows from his quiver.

"That's more than 'a few' and I need those!" he argued.

"So do I, you'll have to learn to share!"

"And you can-"

"Enough!" Snow whispered harshly. "All day and all night bicker bicker bicker! The two of you are worse than a couple of children! I've dealt with first graders that knew how to behave better! Why can't both of you just grow up and get along like adults until this is over?! For all our sakes?!" she snapped, before marching out of the tent.

She could see David open his mouth, probably to make the typical excuse of "hormones" for his wife but instead he closed his mouth immediately. It was good. She was glad he did. Hormones or not someone had needed to say it, she was just glad it hadn't been her.

"What is a first grader?" Robin Hood questioned after a moment.

Regina only shook her head and rolled her eyes before following her out of the tent. "Actually…I'm going to need you, too," Regina muttered coming to a stop next to her.

"Why?" she questioned. "I thought I wasn't good for anything but sewing dresses and reading books?"

A smile spread across Regina's face as she looked down at her. "Exactly."


	70. Time Enough

11 Months, 1 Day

Sewing.

Sewing was what Regina needed her for. But, for once, it wasn't dresses she needed her to sew. It was bags, small ones. Tiny enough to slip around an arrow head.

"I don't get it," David questioned the first time he looked at it the next night.

"Surprising," Regina piqued. "After your recent brush with poisonous plants I should think you'd recognize one when you see it."

"They're tranquilizers," she answered for her. When Regina first told her she'd been skeptical but after they'd been working all day, after she'd had Robin help test them on a couple of rabbits even she had to admit that what Regina had come up with was impressive.

"This," Regina went on, holding a small vile of powder up for David to see, "is the dust of a-"

"Poppy seed," Snow breathed behind them looking surprised.

"You know it?!" Regina questioned.

"I've seen it before…I've _used_ it before! When Emma and I were in the forest. It sends anyone who inhales it into a deep sleep, Charming it's how I got to you in the red room! But…how are we going to get the monkeys to breathe it in?"

"There's more than one way to use this dust. They won't breathe it in, we'll-"

"She's gone!" a voice called gently from a distance.

"Grumpy?" Snow questioned.

"She's gone!" he repeated. "Zelena! She left, just now, with about a dozen minions on her broom!"

"Rumple?!" she questioned, standing up to be face to face with him.

"She left on her broom," Regina drawled behind her, "those hardly have car seats attached to them! Do we know where she went?"

"East," he answered. "That's all I know."

"Great," Regina answered. "For all we know she's run out to get more milk and will be back in fifteen minutes."

"It's fifteen minutes we didn't have before," David breathed, "it's the first time she's left since we've been here, I don't know if we can chance waiting any longer!"

"I agree," Robin answered. "Best to move now, while we have the opportunity."

Her heart began to race. Now. Now?! They were doing this right now?! They'd decided to do this in thirty seconds?!

But David was right! When would they get another chance? When would another opportunity like this present itself?! They'd been here days already. They had the area, the grounds charted out perfectly! The castle floor plan wasn't just in her mind anymore. Now they had a way to get passed Zelena's watch dogs. How much more planned could they be?! Sudden as it was, this was it, the moment they were waiting for. They just had to take deep breaths, take it one moment at a time, get in and get out as fast as possible!

"Then it looks like you'll just have to trust me and see these in action," Regina muttered gathering the arrows with small burlap sacks tied over the arrowheads. "Did you get enough practice?" she growled placing them in Robin's arms.

"Well I suppose we're about to find out, aren't we?" he questioned back. Sadly, Snow's outburst had little effect on either of them. But at the moment, knowing that she was about to see Rumple, possibly catch a glimpse at how well Neal was hanging on, she just couldn't bring herself to care.

"Let's go!" Snow insisted. Swords were gathered, everyone scrambled quickly as possible, she threw the plans she'd drawn into the fire and let them burn for her own sanity, and it felt as though barely a minute had passed before they were beginning their trek through the woods. They kept quiet. Quiet as the small crowd of people could be given the circumstances. She did her best to control herself, to prepare for the very real fact that at any moment this could all fail. Zelena could come back, notice something was wrong, kill them all, but-

She nearly crashed into David when the group stopped. They'd reached their first problem. Monkeys. A few in the trees and others on the walls. It was dark. Difficult to see, but the fact that no one felt they needed to was a testament as to how well they'd done preparing. They already knew which tree, which branches, which parts of the wall the beasts were sitting on.

Robin pulled one of the arrows Regina had given him into his bow. "Don't miss," she growled sounding almost desperate as he took aim.

"I never do," he muttered, then without fail the arrow loosed. There was a sharp shriek from above them, high in the trees. Grumpy yelled out a "Hey!" that was quickly silenced when Ruby stepped up and put her hand over his mouth whispering an "I'm sorry" as he struggled against her to complain. Barely a second later there was a loud thud and everyone carefully moved toward the sound. Before them, in the dim moonlight, it wasn't hard to make out the lump of a sleeping monkey at the base of the tree, an arrow just barely protruding out of its back.

"Are you crazy?!" Grumpy whispered harshly. "You're going to kill-"

"Relax," Robin urged, pulling the arrow out too easily so he could see only the very tip and pierced the flesh. "Concentrated poppy seed extract, poured into a sack, tied to an arrow, enters directly into the bloodstream, it'll barely leave a scar, but it will put them into a deep sleep for the rest of the night. It was a brilliant idea."

"Try not to act so surprised," Regina stated, moving around the group. "You can all thank me later. Can we move maybe? Quickly?!" she snapped. Only this time no one argued. Through the forest they went, stopping every so often for Robin to put one of the monkeys they met to sleep before they finally arrived at the wall and he took the last three down quickly, one right after another, hoping the others on watch wouldn't notice. It was the only time that the quiet had ever made her feel so exposed.

"Robin, you can get us in from here?" David clarified.

"Quickly and easily," he confirmed.

"Then we'll need to leave right away afterwards. She'll know we've been here, we'll need to get off the mountain fast, there won't be a minute to lose! Red-"

"I'll pack up what I can and be ready to meet you," she finished quickly.

"Grumpy, Sleepy… can all of you help her?!"

"Not a chance sister!" Grumpy insisted stepping up to them and looking Snow dead in the eye. "You're not going anywhere without me."

Behind her Regina gave an irritated sigh. "We don't have time for obsessive loyalty."

"Grumpy she's right," Snow insisted taking Grumpy's hand, "for getting inside these walls less is more! The best thing you can do for us now is help Ruby get together as much as you can!"

He didn't like the idea of it. That much was easy to tell by the look on his face. But she could see how trapped he felt. He wanted to come, to be with Snow White just as much as she wanted to be with Rumpelstiltskin, but the dwarf bravely relented. Sacrificing his own peace of mind for their clever scheme. And with a scowl, and an order to be careful because if anything happened to her he'd hunt down the one responsible to the end of the realm, he allowed the other dwarves to pull him away.

"So," Regina muttered looking Robin Hood over. "You're supposed to be the master mind cat burglar. What exactly is your fool proof plan to get over the wall."

"Not over the wall, through it," Robin corrected quickly, beginning to examine the pale stone before him.

"Excuse me?"

"It was something I noticed my first time here," he muttered never bothering to take his eyes off the thing. "A terrible oversight that was perfect to exploit. AH!" he beamed suddenly. When she stepped up to look at what he'd covered her jaw nearly dropped. There was hole in the wall. Literally. One small place that the stone had crumpled away from, unnoticeable from inside because it was shielded by a thick curtain of vines which he all too easily lifted away. Remarkable. She'd examined those walls every day that she'd been there. Not once had she ever noticed that! "See?" he commented walking through and holding the vines back for them. "Fool proof."

"Alright," David sighed following him through. "You have my vote. What do we do next?"

"Next we get into the castle," he muttered glancing around for any trace of red monkey eyes the moment they were all through.

"By digging a hole and climbing up through the floor?" Regina drawled sarcastically.

"Actually we use the front door," Robin corrected quickly.

"You're joking," Regina insisted, stopping in her tracks as they all moved cautiously over the grounds…her grounds…the garden she'd always wanted to plant but never had the chance too. Maybe someday soon.

"Not at all," Robin said firmly. "The truth about breaking into homes of the rich is that it's incredibly simple. They spend so much time making sure windows and doors are protected they never expect someone to just walk through the front door. Besides, they're usually the ones that use that door the most, thus any enchantments or spells they have on it will be very minor. Wouldn't want to accidentally shock yourself now would you, Your Majesty."

"I would never be quite that idiotic," she argued back. "I'm offended at the suggestion and for the record think it's a ridiculous assumption."

"Worked well enough for me the last time," he snapped.

"Wait!" she exclaimed. Walking through the front door wasn't what he'd done last time! "I remember glass breaking..."

"Habit," he explained quickly with a bit of a smirk. "After I perfected my plan I started breaking windows of the houses I'd robbed so that people with magic would continue to suspect I was crawling in windows or performing feats of daring acrobatics to avoid their charms. I couldn't have them figure out my true secret. They'd spread the word and my life would be much more difficult that it already was. Trust me, if I'd known the Dark One was actually in residence and my situation wasn't dire I would have simply taken the wand and left knowing the risk."

"Great so, when you said you broke into the castle you never actually succeeded in breaking out," Regina snarked. "Maybe we should have considered the full story before we put him in charge."

"Last I checked I'd gotten us this far without incident," he muttered quietly, probably a smart idea. One more comment out of either of them and someone was going to have to separate them. Put simply, they just didn't have time to tell them to stop fighting at the moment! Fortunately, whether Regina objected the idea or not they all followed after Robin, walked right up the stone steps, and to the wooden doors-

Which refused to open for her. Her eyes watered as she stared at the closed door. She'd run right up to them because if anyone was going to let them into the castle or stood a chance at opening them so easily it was her…only they didn't open. That had never happened before. The castle had never rejected her! No matter where she was or who she was with, no matter what time of the day those doors had always opened for her!

She reached out her hand, realizing for the first time that she had no idea what that metal handle felt like-

"Belle wait!" Robin cried. Before she had time to pull her hand away an arrow flew passed her ear and landed deep in the wood. If her heart wasn't already hammering it would have surprised her. But as it was all she could do was stare at it and be grateful that Robin had good aim as he came forward and pried it out of the wood. "I'm sorry," he muttered, "but I had to be sure."

"Sure of what?!" Regina questioned as he reached around her to tug on the handle-

Locked. No. That certainly had never happened to her before.

"Locked," Regina echoed annoyingly behind them. "A locked door?" Robin pulled on it again and again but it never budged, not even an inch. "Don't tell me we came all this way to be stumped by a locked door," Regina went on. "What next? Bobby pins?!"

Bobby pins!

Yes! If anyone was going to let them in it was going to be her! She just needed a little help doing what Lacey knew to do best.

"Hair pins!" she ordered, getting down on her knees. "I need two of them, now!" she begged. They didn't know how much time they had. Surely they'd already gone fifteen minutes since Grumpy had made the declaration. They needed to end this. Now! And before she could go over demand them again Snow White stepped forward and pulled two long pins out of her hair, making it tumble down over her shoulders.

"You've got to be kidding me?" Regina remarked.

"Regina, one more word-"

"SHH!" she spat behind her at David and the others. They could yell at each other later, after this was over for now she needed silence. She needed to listen as she fit the long items into the lock, she had to be sure each tumbler fell into place just right to make it-

The click made her heart soar! She'd done it! Admittedly, breaking into her own home was heartbreaking, but on the other hand Zelena was the true stranger here, the one doing wrong and as she finally got the doors to open and gazed out over her entryway, as the chandelier lights flicked to life for her she felt some of the control she'd felt as though she was losing over the last few days rush back into her. There were some things Zelena couldn't take from her. The fireplaces, the lights, that was a power that remained with her. They could do this. They could fix all of this. They just had to be quick about it.

A sentiment Regina seemed to share as she walked quickly over the door that led to their room, their first stop to investigate the dungeons below for her Rumple.

"You're majesty I wouldn't!" Robin warned, stopping her nearly an inch from the handle. For a moment she actually thought she'd wait, for Robin to shoot at it as he had outside to check it for whatever he had done out there. But Regina only stopped to look back and glare at him, childish distaste for his opinions clear in her irritated eye roll. The reaction only made her more frustrated, they didn't have time for their spats, and they didn't have time for-

Before Regina could reach for the handle, Robin moved…quickly. He drew his bow, pulled an arrow, strung it, aimed…and fired. The door to their room disintegrated into a flash of fire before them all, but especially Regina.

"That arrow almost took off my head!" she screamed back angrily at Robin Hood.

"Well that door almost took off your arm!" he argued back. "Where I come from a simple 'Thank you' would suffice."

"Where you come from people bathe in the river and use pine cones for money!" she snapped.

"Come on, let's go!" Snow reprimanded before they could start again.

She swallowed and followed after Snow and David. Between the two of them she'd side with Robin Hood, but there was no time for choosing sides, there was time enough only for one thing…Rumpelstiltskin.


	71. Making Every Second Count

11 Months, 1 Day

He was there.

Not in the dungeon.

Not in the West Wing.

There.

In their room…trapped.

Next to his table, in the beautiful place they'd fallen in love, was a wooden cage, built big enough to contain him and his spinning wheel. The only thing that looked normal about the entire situation was that he was spinning. Mindlessly. Spinning away just as he always had in this room as the fire flared to life in her presence…but he didn't notice it. Still he was really there, whole, alive…and in so much more trouble than any of them had fully realized until this moment. They all knew that from the way everyone stopped dead inside the room. She just hoped it wasn't too late, for him, for Neal-

"Rumpelstiltskin," Snow White breathed in shock next to her as she tried to contain the lump in her throat.

From across the room there was a chuckle, a giggle that nearly made her laugh because it had been an eternity since she last heard it in this room. He did know they were here. "Rumple Bumple isn't here!" he said in a sing-song voice. "Rumple Bumple gone…my dear."

Dear.

She smiled at the ominous words. She knew it was sad, knew how hopeless and lost he must have felt, but he wasn't completely gone! That confirmed it. Dear. Not "dearie". And somewhere deep down she knew it wasn't just the rhyme that had provoked it. It was her. Everyone else was "dearie", she was Sweetheart, Darling, Beautiful…she was Dear. And because of that she found the courage to step forward with the rest of them. It wasn't too late…not for him.

"He really is back from the dead!" Regina exclaimed next to her, smiling as she stared at him through the bars.

"Dead, dead," he mumbled, his voice low and serious again, his voice, her Rumpelstiltskin, he was- "so much better…dead!" he stated, bringing tears to her eyes. He pointed at Regina, but he'd caught sight of her, his eyes lingered there for a moment searching, before finding recognition, what he hadn't been capable of in the clearing.

"He's lost his mind," she heard David mutter behind her.

"On the contrary!" he cried out, looking at David. "Now I have two! Two minds! Mining Time. Digging deeper in the grime!" he rambled going on and on about…nothing!

No. She knew better. It wasn't too late otherwise he wouldn't look at her like that! He was still there, they just had to find a way to destroy Zelena and then they could fix all of this!

"What's she doing to him?" she questioned, looking him over, eyeing his clothes for dirt, grime, signs that she was forcing him to hard labor…she saw none. The only crime here was going on in his mind. There was a point to what he was saying, she just didn't know what it was, the knowledge she'd left in him that he couldn't quite communicate because of Neal. Mining Time. Zelena was trying to create a time portal…mine time. But digging in the grime…what did that mean? Digging something in dirt? Filthy? Uncovering something?

"Nothing that can't be undone," she heard Snow White say behind her. "Rumpelstiltskin we need your help!" she called out to him. Yes, that was right, they needed his knowledge, that's why they were here. The sooner they had that knowledge then it wouldn't matter what Zelena was making him do because they'd put a stop to it! They just had to find out what he knew! They just had to get through to him. "How do we stop Zelena?" Snow demanded as he went back to spinning.

"Round and round the circle of time, racing towards the finish line," he mumbled.

"This is pointless," Regina whispered beside her into the silence, speaking what she knew everyone was thinking. But not her. No, it was rhymes and riddles, it was what she'd always hated most about him, about their relationship but at the moment she was grateful for it! It all meant something, it always meant something! It just needed the right touch. Someone that could get him to speak truths he'd kept locked away and vowed to tell no one. Someone he was comfortable with. Not a Dearie, a Dear. Wasn't that what had prompted Regina to want her to come?!

"Let me try," she suggested to the others. The others, it couldn't be done around others, he'd never talked to her around others like he did when they were together, alone, in bed or the kitchen…she wanted that again. She just had to get him to see her and her alone now and it might not be long until she could have it!

She stepped up as close to the bars as she could, doing her best to block the others from his view and put them out of her mind as well. Just the two of them. It just had to be the two of them. "Hey," she whispered, the greeting they'd used when she first returned, hoping it would get a rise out of him, that it would trigger something and he'd remember! But he only kept his eyes low, and spun on.

Eyes. He needed to see her. To look her in the eye.

A touch. Something to grab besides a spinning wheel, something to remind him who he was with her and not the Dark One, or even Neal.

Slowly she placed her hand through the bars and reached for one of his own, wishing she'd taken the time to remove her gloves. "Hey, Rumple-"

Suddenly his hand was tight on hers, a defensive grasp as he pulled her forward and eyed her suspiciously. "Hey! Hey," she muttered as he looked her over. Touch, sight…now words! "Hey," she smiled, realizing that the greeting was suddenly genuine. Those were his eyes. The look he reserved for her. His grasp loosened, softened, to the familiar one she knew. It was him, now she just needed Neal to quiet for a moment so she could get his words and take him home. She didn't want to risk asking Neal himself for fear she'd lose him. She just needed to trust he'd understand from wherever he was in that mind.

"I know you're in there," she choked out, as his gaze wandered down to their entwined hands. It wasn't looking at her but it was good enough, maybe even better. He needed to remember how they used to be, how they'd done this too many times to count! That was how she was going to get him back. "I know you can hear me," she informed him. "How do we stop Zelena?" she begged, stating each word clearly, a voice she'd used in the past to let him know she didn't want riddles or games. He had to remember, he had too!

He did.

She knew it.

It was a small gesture, barely noticeable to anyone but her, but his thumb had moved! Tenderly, lovingly, over the back of her hand as he held it firm and soft all at once and she fought to hold back tears. It was him. After a long year with next to nothing but fear and disaster, they were finally together! It was them, here together, not under the best of circumstances, but it was working! They were together.

There was hope.

"Light," he whispered in his own voice, looking at her like he did when she amazed him, took his breath away. He wasn't just hearing her. He was seeing her. But what exactly was she hearing? Light? Light would defeat Zelena? How? How was that possible? They'd seen her in the daylight!

"Wh…what?" she questioned, shaking her head.

"Light magic," he explained to her clearly, sanity in his voice. "The Good Witch of the South…Glinda."

"Glinda?" she questioned. The Good Witch of the South, the one she'd read about in her books, one of the unnamed five witches? Of course she'd have light magic, magic to defeat Zelena, but where was she? Oz? No one had seen her in Oz since before Zelena's downfall she knew that? Was she in hiding there? How could they get to Oz, other realms were barred from them now, weren't they? "South of…what? Oz?"

"No!" he growled, tightening his grasp and pulling her closer, the first sign that he was beginning to fade. He knew it as well as she did and he was desperate to tell her before time ran out for both of them in a very real and ironic way. He wanted her stopped as much as they did.

"Banished! Here! The Good Witch of the South was banished North," he clarified, leaning forward to tell her as he softened his grip again in his brief moment of clarity and control. She always did have that power over him. It was one the dagger couldn't take away! But one that Neal could.

"North of the Dark Forest!" he piqued in the childish laughter that told her he was gone, the way he shoved her hand away was proof of that…but the way he'd grabbed it in the first place was proof that he wasn't completely gone. Maybe she could do it again! Calm him. Reach through the bars. Ask him-

"How do we find her?" Snow White questioned behind her. But he didn't respond, merely picked up more straw and went back to spinning. "Rumpelstiltskin, in the Dark Forest, how do we find her!" she shouted again as if she was yelling at a child, or Regina and Robin. It only made her angry. She could have gotten him back if they'd stayed quiet, she could have had just one more minute of him that wasn't-

"Through the door, step inside," he sang as he spun. "If pure of heart then she won't…hide!" he finished, casting those behind her an impish grin and giggling again. If she'd stayed quiet she could have gotten one more minute of him that wasn't rhymes and riddles and songs…

She glanced behind her when she heard footsteps. Regina was stalking away, clearly upset, while the others cast their eyes down almost embarrassed to look at him. She wasn't. He was here, with her, alive. He'd just reverted to wearing his mask to cope! He was stronger than anyone thought he was and that included him! She just wished there was a way to make him even stronger even in her absence because as much as it hurt to imagine she knew that all too soon this would be over. They would have to leave him.

"So what, we're looking for a door?" David questioned.

"It's more than we had before," Robin Hood suggested, his voice muffled in her ear as she continued to look her lover over. What would she give to be in his place? What would she give to stay here with him? What would she give for just one more minute with him? He'd be more anchored if she stayed, she could stay with him, and Neal! Give them something to hold on to, something to hope for, something to-

"We should go," David muttered behind her, making a tear finally roll down over her cheek. It was too soon. Sooner than she'd expected. Maybe she'd been wrong. All this time she'd wondered if she could handle this...maybe she couldn't handle leaving him. Maybe he couldn't handle her departure. "We need to leave before the witch returns."

They'd never let her stay. But…maybe…she didn't have to go entirely! Maybe she could leave something else behind. An anchor. Something small. Something to remind him of her. Why not? If Zelena came back soon it wasn't as if she wouldn't notice that half her guard monkeys were asleep or the door missing.

"Belle-" David called.

"Let her go," Regina rebuked her voice full of sympathy she wasn't ready to face.

"Hey! Hey, Rumple!" she called. "My Rumple," she smiled when he look back up at her, skeptical, childish and helpless all at once. He needed something and if it had to be small there was one thing she could leave behind. So she swallowed back her sniffle she reached up and removed the pearl necklace she wore, the one that she'd had ever since she'd first stepped into this place. Then, she gingerly reached into the wooden cage again and gently took his hand. No, not took. He gave it to her. He stared at her all the while, but his fingers eased under her own and allowed her to turn his palm upright. "Take this," she insisted setting the pearl and gold into his hand. "I'll be back for you, always," she whispered, closing his fingers over the necklace, forcing him to take it whether he wanted to or not…though the tension in his grasp told her that he did. That was him. Her Rumple. "I love you. And this doesn't change that. I'm with you forever," she insisted, "I always keep my word."

"Belle, we should go," Robin called out gently.

"I know, I'm coming!" she yelled barely glancing back at them. She didn't want to go. She hoped he understood that. She'd much rather spend the rest of her days in this cage with him…but it didn't have to be that way. She could fix it, make it a better future for them. Then neither of them would have to spend their future here! And they'd do everything they had talked about before this mess had happened, maybe even more. Maybe even-

His other hand reached out suddenly, the one that wasn't grasped in her own, and for a second she thought he would reach forward to touch her, but instead he plucked something from the wheel, a single piece of golden straw and held it out for her.

"Deal," he muttered, offering it to her. She felt herself cry. Sadness. Happiness. Grief. Relief. Too much to name. But she managed to take the straw anyway because she knew what it meant-they both did. For one brief second he knew who she was, he knew who he was, and for that one second only they'd managed to make a deal they both knew they'd keep. She was going to see that he was free of this one day…one day soon. And whether he remembered an hour from now or not, for now he knew it. And that was enough.

Suddenly she felt hands on her shoulders, gently urging her away, but also comfortable at the same time. "Belle," David whispered in her ear. She'd taken too long, she'd left them no choice but to pry her way. "I'm sorry," he muttered with genuine sympathy then tore her away from the cage, out of the room, and back into the bitter cold world around her.

Each with a piece of each other.

It wasn't enough.

* * *

><p><strong>So you remember that moment in Revealed and Unrevealed, the night after he gets back and they're engaged and they're sitting on the couch talking? I think the chapter is called "Flawed and Flawless". He gives her the necklace back and she remembers there was a piece of straw that she'd righted earlier that wasn't with the others in his basement workshop and I told you that you'd have to wait for the Winter fiction to learn the story behind that...so there you go. That's what it all meant in the end. I might not have written it at that point but I always knew that I wanted something like this to happen so I hope that everyone thoroughly enjoyed the added touch.<strong>

**Thank you once more to my wonderful reviewers Kathryn, Meredith, Fox, Ladybugsmomma, Raizen, Key, Jael, and Deweymay. I'm always so happy to hear what you think of the chapter and of course even happier when I hear ya'll say such wonderful things like "they're in character" or "it matches canon" or even "I can see this actually happening". Yay! That's the goal! I'm super excited about how Moments Exchanged has gone over. Sad truth was that it felt like a thorn in my side for quite some time because of how little we actually knew about this year but I'm glad everyone has enjoyed it, even if it's not heavy on the Rumbelle stuff, this scene the obvious exception. Goodness just think of how it'll be next summer when the prequal comes out... Peace and Happy Reading ya'll!**


	72. Lock and Key

11 Months, 1 Day

No. No, not out the door. David's hands where firm on her shoulders, pushing and pulling her over the threshold of the archway of what had once been their room out into the entryway. Her heart ached and her eyes sought him out but her mind...no. They couldn't leave yet. She couldn't leave yet. They'd asked where to find the Good Witch of the South, Glinda. At first blush he'd given a riddle but riddles could be answered! He'd given them an answer. North of the Dark Forest. Through a door. There was a door North of the Dark Forest. They have to go through the door. They had to find that door.

"Wait!" she yelled, putting her heels down and stopping in her tracks. The others looked at her with shock and sympathy she had to ignore. "A door North of the Dark Forest, does anyone know where that is?"

"It's nowhere," Regina muttered.

"He's gone, Belle," Snow muttered. "Which is exactly what we have to be now. Zelena will come back, she'll know we've been here, we have to leave," she begged.

Yes. Yes they did have to leave. But the Witch wasn't here yet. Rumple wasn't gone! He'd given them a hint, she wasn't going to waste it and she wasn't going to leave empty handed.

Without questioning her determination she tore herself free of David's grasp and ran for the stairs. They shouted behind her; called her name, ordered her to get back, all before Regina and Robin said they'd get her so Snow and David could leave. She ignored the heavy footfalls behind her and ran straight for her tower, her library, thankful there was no door she had to touch to get there. At the top of the stairs she was out of breath, her heart pounded, the chairs called for her to collapse into their comfort. No. She had to ignore it. She couldn't waste time.

Maps! She needed maps! And a couple books on the realms. Light magic. The Enchanted Forest. Mist Haven. Oz. Anything that might tell her where the door to the north was! And she needed them fast.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Regina screamed at her when she finally made it to the top of the stairs. "Are you trying to get us all killed?!"

"I'm trying to save us!" she yelled back, never once looking at her. There just wasn't time. Fortunately her library looked as though it had barely been touched and she knew exactly what she needed and where it was. One by one she pulled books. One then two…three, four.

"What are we supposed to do take the whole damn library with us?!"

"No, just…!" she swallowed and looked back to the rows of shelves. She'd love to take the entire library with them. But she couldn't. She only needed a few. And it would be faster if she located the books by herself and didn't stop to talk or yell at Regina. "Just find something to carry these in!"

"Belle, we need to leave-"

She pulled her arm out of Robins grasp and looked him in the eye, hoping that he saw her determination clearly. "Just let me do my job," she choked out. "Please! I only need a minute."

"Then you only get one minute! Hurry up!" Regina shouted, pulling a burlap sack out of thin air and pushing Robin toward the window with an order to stand watch.

A map. Two of them. One of the realm, one of the Dark Forest.

"Snow White and David got through the wall," Robin commented.

A book on Oz…even better, she'd had a copy of _The Legend of the Five Sisters of Oz _in her library the entire time and just hadn't known it.

"They're running back to camp."

A book on legends and myths of Mist Haven. Hopefully Glinda would be in that book too.

"And we're right behind them," Regina snarled putting her things in the sack. "You're done."

"I just need-"

"No, you are done!" Regina screamed at her, in a tone that made her think she used it on Henry more than once when he didn't do something she wanted. But that was okay. She knew exactly where the book she wanted was. And as Regina's hand wrapped around her arm so tight she felt her nails dig into her skin and she pulled her back toward the steps she reached into the shelf and pulled out the last book she needed. _The Greatest Among Us: A History of the strongest Wielders of Light and Dark Magic in The Enchanted Forest. _With any luck Glinda would be in there too.

The three of them did their best to run across the grounds. But the books were heavy and it was only after Regina split them up and handed some to her and carried the rest herself that they got anywhere, until-

A shriek from behind caught her off guard and made her turn on her heel. "Run!" Robin cried, feeling around the back of his quiver for an arrow with a burlap sack. With a single shot the monkey following after them came crashing to the ground. But one was enough. And soon enough the cries of mutated monkeys and the flap of bird wings filled the sky. "Go!" Robin urged, pulling out another arrow. "I don't have enough for all of them, go!" he screamed. The three of them took off to the place in the wall that they had come through. Suddenly the vines that had been covering the crevice caught fire and began to burn quickly enough, revealing the hole for them in the dark moon light.

"Regina!" she warned, realizing it had been magic that had burned it.

"Don't you dare chastise me!" she yelled as the three of them piled through the hole. "Quick into the tree line!" she ordered placing the stack of books she had in her hand into her arms. Robin dragged her back as Regina had ordered and she watched as the hole in the wall sealed itself over, becoming so good and new she hadn't any idea where the thing had been. And from the top of the wall, a purple glow washed over it creating a dome. Monkeys slammed into it one by one, making a sound like birds against glass before they fell into the fell back into the snow.

"But the magic…" she muttered.

"Well, after she walks in and sees the entire door missing, thanks to you by the way," she sneered at Robin, "it's not as though it won't be completely obvious that someone broke in!" she screamed back at her. "You and your precious books, we might have gotten out in time had it not been for having to turn around! Now whether or not Zelena comes back they'll be gunning for us the second the spell wears off!" she yelled, motioning toward the smarter monkeys idly flapping their wings and hissing at them, realizing there was no getting through the barrier.

"Which is why we need to move," Robin Hood insisted, taking some of the books from her. "We need to find the others, get off this mountain, and find a place to discuss some of what we've just learned."

"We've learned nothing," Regina spat. "You saw him he's a lunatic, not that he wasn't before-"

"He's not crazy, just confused!" she defended. "The information was there, in his head. A door North of the Dark Forest, that's what we have to find! Robin is right we need to get the others and regroup, take shelter somewhere and get a better idea of what he was talking about!"

"And these books were worth risking our lives over because…"

"You said yourself only weeks ago that the information we needed was in Rumple's library. It's not much but I grabbed what I could on such short notice." Regina shut her mouth and looked away from her. She couldn't argue against her own logic…though she'd tried a few times before.

They had the hints. They had the tools. Now all she needed was a safe place for everyone to hide away from Zelena. A place that a simple protection spell from Regina, since they may as well use her magic again, would protect them. Fortunately, she knew just the place.

"Find the others," she ordered. "the house, at the bottom of the castle, we can hide there."

"We have no idea who lives there, if anyone at all does! Just because a couple of dwarves say-"

"Well, if someone does live there they are certainly better than Zelena and the closest thing we have to shelter. It'll work for a day or so until we can decide where we're going and what we're doing. You can put a protection spell around us-"

"A lot of good that will do," Regina muttered. "I can't use anything requiring blood or else she'll walk right through it."

"It does sound like a risk...but if it's our best option…" Robin murmured staring at the monkeys in the invisible dome blankly. So far Zelena hadn't returned. Who knew where she was going or how long she was going to be gone! Maybe what they needed to take shelter from was her beasts. "Wait here," Robin insisted. "I'll get the others. We'll move on quickly."

She and Regina exchanged awkward and irritated glances at each other. No, they'd never be friends. But this was one time that she really couldn't be happier that she had her tolerance. "You better be right about this," the Evil Queen barked.

"I am," she insisted. "No one knows Rumple better than I do. What he told us isn't myth it's important! I just need a day to figure it out."

Regina looked her up and down skeptically, looking like she wished she didn't trust her as much as she did. "One day," she confirmed. "You get one day and nothing more."

* * *

><p><strong>And then there were 5...more chapters that is! Oh is it just me or is this ending all happening so quickly?! So in all honesty I don't really know or have anything to say about his chapter. It was definitely one part filler, one part action, and one part research Belle stirred into a frothy mix and served up for your delectation and delight. I hope you enjoyed it. Oh, and of course there are bonus points if anyone can figure out where exactly they are taking shelter.<strong>

**Thank you of course to Kathryn, Meredith, Ladybugsmomma, Key, and Deweymay for your reviews. I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter. Sad thing? That is the last time we of course see Belle timeline wise in the flashbacks. Which means you can now see just how much we are missing from the missing year. Seriously there are at least three solid months of nothing. Sigh...Peace and Happy Reading.**


	73. The Hideout

11 Months, 2…3 Days

Regina promised her one day. As it was, she got two.

The others joined them only moments later outside the castles wall and after staring in horror at what Regina had done followed her with the bundles containing the remains of their camp around the castle and down the mountain. This was the section of mountain she and Neal had opted to avoid after seeing it, deciding instead to go around, but this time, with the possibility that any second they could be attacked by diseased monkeys or a green skinned witch, they couldn't afford not to risk it. It was steep, difficult terrain for everyone, and she felt especially bad for Snow White and David, who eventually handed his bundle to her and swung her up into his arms gallantly. It must have been easier than walking with her…honestly it seemed faster.

The house was right where the dwarves said it would be and by the time all of them poured into it, by the time Regina set the protection spell and added something that she claimed would keep them invisible to everyone outside the circle, the sun had finally risen.

"We're safe?" David questioned. "Really safe?!"

"In a way," Regina answered. "Zelena could break through the barriers easily but not without giving us a bit of warning first."

"Who owns this place?" Snow whispered looking around the tiny house as if she expected to see a ghost pop out at any minute.

"Never saw anyone come or go," Grumpy muttered, "unless you count the mice," he added as a tiny squeezing rodent scurried across the floor and hid within a small mouse hole. A loud bang from across the room had them looking over at something that looked like a cellar door that Robin Hood had tried to open. But apparently it was locked because it just wouldn't lift for him.

"I don't like this place," Snow muttered into the quiet, wrapping her hands over her belly.

"It'll be fine when the sun comes up, Snow," David muttered looking around. "We're alone, as protected as we can be, and it's only for a while. We'll rest for a bit, leave someone to take watch, wake the others and get out of here if we see her coming," he resolved. It was a decent plan, a good plan, and no one seemed to really know just how tired they were until they rolled their blankets out on the floor, laid down, and closed their eyes.

As the minutes ticked on the soft sound of breath rising and falling was gentle, beckoning her every second to join all but Happy who stood first watch at the window. Rest, after everything that had happened, after everything that was happening, would be a welcomed thing. But she just couldn't settle herself. She tossed and turned for what felt like hours before she finally gave up. There was just too much happening, too much that had happened, and now wasn't the time to rest it was the time to work. So, quickly and quietly she got up, gathered the books she'd taken from her library and began to read.

Not like she had before. Not carefully or to educate this time around it was strictly to find what she needed as fast as she could. A door. A door north of the Dark Forest. Glinda. Something about being pure of heart. The first couple of books she found nothing but she refused to give up, no matter what. She hadn't run back into that library and risked their lives for nothing, no matter what Regina thought.

_The Legend of the Five Witches of Oz _the book that had once proved to be so helpful to her before she searched through in vain. She hadn't forgotten or misread anything. The information just wasn't there!

_"It is said The Witch of the South, the embodiment of love, was raised from birth to be a wise scholar, however she showed an affinity for magic at such a young age that friends and family believed she was lucky, that she had the power to grant wishes, and even solve the most complex of problems. As word of her abilities grew many made pilgrimages to see the child, to tell her their stories to beg of her to help them! For the witch this instilled a deep loving sympathy toward humanity. While those she helped often claimed that they left their private meetings feeling less burdened._

_"Though she loved her people, she never lost her love of intellect, and years later, when she was no more a child, it was the Witch of the South that studied the prophecy of Oz and began to understand it in a way no one had before. She brought the knowledge of prophecy and it's meaning to her sister witches and helped to forge the binding symbols of their magical union."_

"Binding magical symbols". She'd stumbled over that phrase the first time she'd read it. It meant something, she knew it did! But what the book didn't tell her. And if she ever did meet the author of this she would have a few stern words about the removal of so many important things like names and objects in order to provide objectivity. She didn't want to be objective. She needed answers! But the magical symbols were not the answers that she needed!

_"After the Wicked Witches demise, the Witch of the South accompanied the Innocent Witch to the Emerald City. The two were never seen nor heard from again leaving those in Oz wondering if…"_

Never seen or heard from again. Never seen. Never heard from. Because she wasn't there. Because she was here? North of the Dark Forest. Through the door, Rumple had said? If pure of heart she wouldn't hide…what was that supposed to mean?!

She'd gotten no sleep by the time the others woke, and she had nothing to go on. Nothing but a few more books on this realm that she wasn't even sure where to begin on! The dwarves left that evening. Zelena hadn't been spotted and as she read on into the night the others continued to talk around her, questioning what to do next, how to proceed, what they were looking for. Carriages. They needed their carriages, David had insisted, mostly for Snow's sake she imagined. The dwarves were happy to do it and left immediately saying it would take some time to make their way around the mountain and back to the village instead of going over it, but they'd return as fast as possible but where to go?! Where could she point them too?! What was Rumple trying to say?!

"Belle," David urged sitting down next to her. "I think you need sleep."

No. What she needed was the answer. Regina, Snow, David, Neal, Rumple, even Emma and Henry, everyone whether they knew it or not was depending on her to find the answer!

_"The Greatest Among Us: A History of the strongest Wielders of Light and Dark Magic in The Enchanted Forest" _her last option.

"Belle-"

_"A wizard that enchanted a hat to steal-" _

NO! She refused to think of that.

_"One of the most powerful users of Dark Magic was a wicked woman known only as The Black Fairy."_

Wrong!

_"The curse of the Dark One is well known to any inhabitant of the Enchanted Forest."_

That wasn't it either.

"Belle, please, listen to me-"

_"…a witch living in the mountains…", "Light magic's most infamous wizard was…", "Possibly the most curious known case of Light Magic in The Enchanted Forest came from another realm…"_

Her heart stopped.

"Belle!" David exclaimed, this time reaching out to take the book from her.

"No, wait!" she cried, snatching it back. "I think…I think I found it…her…Glinda, the witch of the South!" Her eyes scanned the passage quickly until she found what she was looking for…a name. Glinda. That was it! Confirmation! Now she knew where to send them!

_"Possibly the most curious known case of Light Magic in The Enchanted Forest came from another realm. Rumored to be the lost Witch of the South from the land of Oz, Glinda, proclaiming herself the Good Witch of the North, arrived by powerful magic not of her own doing. But she was damaged, traumatized, unable to face the world she now lived in and put her past behind her. The Good Witch of the North, sometimes simply called Glinda the Good, sought out a solution in making a deal with the Dark One. In return for unknown information on an Ozian artifact, the Dark Sorcerer crafted her a place to hide, one that reminded her of her beautiful and peaceful southern land._

_"Calmed by her surroundings she urged all those wishing help to seek her out. Only those that possess great purity and nobility are strong enough to endure the search. Her threshold is said to be just North of the Dark Forest…"_

"Belle!"

"I found it!" she exclaimed jumping up and setting the book down so she could roll out the maps she'd grabbed before she left. "It's right here! The door Rumple was talking about!"

"He was-"

"He wasn't crazy," she yelled at Regina, "it's all right here! When Glinda arrived in our land she was homesick-"

"You're kidding."

"Summarizing," she corrected Regina, looking over the description in the book.

"The ravings of a mad man."

She closed her eyes and hunched against the table. She needed deep breathes. She just needed to survive this a little bit longer. They were nearing the end of this. She could feel it! Even if Regina couldn't. "They aren't ravings of a mad man if there is documented evidence," she argued.

"That's what you think."

"Belle, what did you find," Snow asked quickly. "Does the door exist? Where is it?"

"It doesn't say 'door' exactly-"

"-Of course it doesn't-"

"-but it mentions Rumple, a deal with the Dark One to create a safe space for Glinda the Good, one that those with good intentions will be able to enter.

_"Her threshold is said to be just North of the Dark Forest. The location can identified by its constant unnaturally cool temperatures and flourishing vegetation. For this reason the door is said to be easier to find in warmer months, however, there are reports that the location is often found faster by those looking in cooler months, those said to be blessed by Glinda in their difficult search, though this can't be confirmed..." _she read, then glanced at the maps, shoved the first away, and focused on the smaller, more detailed map.

She scanned it, locating the tree icons around his castle and the fairy characters the original cartographer had used to translate roughly into _"The Forest of the Darkness"_. "Here!" she pointed, moving her finger over the edge of the Dark Forest. "We'll find it here! We just have to search."

"It's still cool," David commented. "It might take some time."

"That's only if the thing actually exists and Rumple isn't just recalling a rumor that he started years ago!"

"Regina it was your idea to go to him," Snow pointed out.

"Well that was before I saw how far gone he was."

"He is not far gone!" she screamed, her temper burning beneath her skin. He wasn't far gone! If he was he wouldn't have given her that piece of golden straw! The story wouldn't have been here! She knew that look that he'd given her and it was him! She believed it! With every fiber of her being she believed that he was still in there! This would work. If they found this door they would know how to defeat Zelena she knew it! Why didn't they?

Regina watched her but said nothing. Her gaze wasn't threatening or glaring…it was sympathetic. David offered a sigh and quickly looked to his wife, choosing, kindly she suspected, to just put the incident behind them. "That section of the Dark Forest isn't far and it shouldn't take long to search. The dwarves are due back with the carriages in a few days, I suppose if we left with them then-"

"Enough of this!" Regina growled stepping forward. "If we're going to waste time looking for this Glinda the Good we're going to waste as little of it as possible!" She stepped between Snow White and David and grabbed fistfuls of their clothing, before looking angrily in her direction. "Meet us in the village below the castle." And with a plume of thick purple smoke, the three of them vanished.

* * *

><p><strong>So now they are off on their hunt and the rest are (drum roll please)...hanging out in the apprentices cottage. Who caught that? Honestly? I had them going to a house at the bottom of the mountain after they ran away from Rumple's castle. When the show told us that the apprentice lived there, I thought it was hilarious and said "yeah, sure, I can work with that!" So, for those of you keeping track at home, now there are two more mysteries to figure out by Sunday. of course they need to find the door and talk to Glinda but they also need to figure out what those binding magical symbols are. Mmm...I wonder. Stay tuned readers, we've got some fun conversations coming up in the next few days. I hope you'll like them!<strong>

**Thank you to Kathryn, Meredith, Ladybugsmomma, Key, Fox, Raizen, and Agent66 for your awesome and wonderful reviews. I'm always thrilled to hear that a filler chapter is so well received. Makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside (which is probably a condition that I should have checked out by my doctor). Well until tomorrow Peace and Happy Reading.**


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